Puck Soup - Capital Punishment

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

Dave believes the Washington Capitals will finally defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins. Greg feels differently. They break down that series and all the second-round Stanley Cup Playoffs matchups; discuss the Wild GM opening; wonder how Bill Peters knows so much about the Flames; ranking the Mission: Impossible films; a fourth "Look Who's Talking" movie involving British silverware; the worst part of a classic serial killer film; and your reader mail on which teams most and least deserve to win the NHL Draft lottery. Sponsored by Seat Geek and Blue Apron.

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by Drop the Mic. The battles are even more epic this season on Drop the Mic. TBS brings you celebrities as you've never seen them before as they throw down to see who can burn their opponent best and be crowned the rap battle champion. Sunday's all-new episode features Terry Cruz versus Louis Fonzie and Seth Rogan versus Joseph Gordon-Levitt as they face off on stage to see who disses will reign supreme. Catch this all new episode of Drop the Mic Sunday at 10.30 or 9.30 Central on TBS, hosted by Method Man and Haley Baldwin. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to whatever you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, It's and Toot.

It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nancet. Hey, everybody, it's Dave. One half of this podcast. The same Dave who's slept most of the day yesterday because of his allergies. The same Dave who hates his time of year. But whatever. You mean playoff hockey time, or do you mean allergy time? Allergy time and playoff hockey time when there's no playoff hockey because the NHL refuses to schedule the second round before the first round's over.

I'm Greg Wichinsky, ESPN, and you're in Pucks, too. I saw your lament on Tuesday when there's... was no hockey and I thought it was really interesting because like I know you kind of hate hockey pretty much and I thought it was fun that you played along with the rest of people who were like I can't believe there's no hockey on you're like golly gee whiz me too even though I know you don't give a fuck that there's no hockey what what what you you you you you ignorant slut I hate the NHL I love playoff hockey I saw someone quote that the other day about you that you you hate the NHL but love hockey I didn't invent that

And I saw somebody being like, you've spoken to my bitter sweet heart. That's everybody, though. That's every hockey fan. Every hockey fan loves hockey and hates the NHL because a hockey league would have had a second round game tonight or yesterday. But we can't have it. Are we the only league that's like that? I feel like everybody who likes basketball loves the NBA right now.

They have definitely started NBA series. But no, I mean as far as like loving your sport but hitting your league. I probably the NFL might be, although I don't know, I feel like people just are starting to just kind of hate football in general because of the insurious nature of it. Yeah, I think football is more of a consistent hate between the two ideas as opposed to hockey where, again, I always come back to this. Like the reason why the NHL isn't as popular as other sports is think about all the other avenues of hockey that there are, that's better. Not necessarily a higher level of hockey, but better. Like you have junior. You have the AHL, if you live in an NHL, I'm not going to go through a while, but there's a lot of other hockey avenues to watch.

when it's up against a league that says, hey, guess what? It's the second round of the playoffs. Congratulations on your president's trophy. You're playing the second best team now in the second round. Or we have a schedule, but we can't tell you what it is. I know. So if you're someone who maybe wants to book a hotel room for this series, you can do it, but maybe do the thing where you can cancel.

Yeah, don't do that sweet reservation rate where you can't cancel it because then you might get screwed. Don't get the one with the double beds and the Wi-Fi and the breakfast, because then you probably can't cancel it. What's the rationale at this point behind not putting out the three-round schedule and then having the contingency in the other one? I don't understand it. As we do the podcast, the rest of the second round hasn't been announced yet. But, like, it's got to be Canadian television, right? It's got to be like one of these things where.

But you can still have, you can still have two setups. It's everything to be one or the other, right? Like, whether it's Toronto or Boston, you're still going to have your broadcast plan one way or the other. Yeah, I feel like they've done it before where it's like every other series is locked in. And it's not, I mean, is there a team that's kind of like fucked it up where maybe the building they didn't know. the building was going to have to be available for it? Maybe Vegas is that only one I can think of. No, but even if there is a building issue, you

know what the building issue is one way or the other, no matter who wins Boston, Toronto tonight. You can still put out the schedule. It's all right. I mean, they also have to find out the availability of the golf channel schedule as well. I mean, there is a big, Deutsche Bank, round robin, pro-am or something.

Hey, I got some bad news, sir. What is it? Well, the National Hockey League's second round schedule came and we're going to have to preempt sports century, colon, fuzzy zeller. We have a bad news. Jim Kramer's doing a marathon on MSNBC about what stocks to buy. God damn it. See NBC.

I don't know. They would never put a game on MSNBC. They get ratings on MSNBC. They've never had a game on MSNBC. No, never. They all kind of blend together, all the NBC's. Hi, I'm Chris Hayes. Join me after the game for more investigations into the Trump crime family.

See, like the Rachel Maddow pregame show is perfect because she would just ask her rhetorical questions for 15 minutes about the series. Bruins, Leifes, who's going to win? Who gets the puck first? The Rachel Maddow pregame would be exploring one issue of the series for 40 minutes. Without really,

honestly, I don't watch Rachel Maddow, but the one thing I watched was the whole IRS tax document thing, and it was the worst 20 minutes of it. I remember sitting there being like, does she do this every week where she just teases a thing and never has anything at the end of this? Of course,

who is the backup for Matt Murray? That would be Tristan Jari. Tristan Jari, who you may remember, was in fact, you know, Casey to Smith or Tristan Jari. Oh, who gives a shit? Hey, Mark Andre Fleury, I'll tell you that.

We'll get to that series in a second. First off, the big news today. My caps. Las Vegas mayor Carolyn G. Goodman. This is a story from earlier this morning. This is on her Twitter. I don't even know what the story is. She says on Twitter, because all politicians now are on Twitter and breaking news on Twitter like Kanye.

Is she making a bet with like if you win, you get poker chips? if I win you get shark meat or something. Just got off the phone with 985 K-L-U-C. There's a fucking station called K-luck in Vegas. Come on now. Where else would it be? You have K-luck, K-broke, K-Bust. Yeah.

K-Double down. Oh, you know there has to be K-R-PS, crap. Roll the dice and call in now and talk. live about the construction going on on the strip. We are your combat. Crapes 985. Then you have like people calling you. A guy in the radio said combat.

Is that? I think that violates some laws. All right. We're going to go around the horn on craps. Dateline Shanghai. I play way too much craps. It looks like the Vegas Golden Knights are going to split from the playoffs. After the San Jose Sharks put up two eights in games three and four to sweep the series.

Traffic at 7-Eleven on Craps And like every radio station Like every show ends like that's it for me Coming up next is Bill Johnson He's gonna give you all All the talk you want about the UNLV running rebels And he just here They just leave the booth

Hey everybody I'm John Gibson New Shooter here on craps So anyway Carolyn G Goodman The mayor of Las Vegas How does one become mayor of Las Vegas It's just like... Oh, I'm assuming like it's mafia related.

Oh, yeah. She was installed by like a crime family. I promise not to do anything of note. Are you elected? I promise to legalize. Um, shit. Is there anything here that's not legal? Era, all I feel is outrageous that murder is not...

That was like the purge. Just got out the phone with K-L-U-C, K-L-U-C, K-L-L-L-U-C, K-L-L-L-U-K. And we've decided to ban what in Las Vegas as our Golden Knights play the San Jose Sharks. Dave Lozo, hold on, let's do match game. Carolyn G. Goodman, the mayor of Las Vegas, called into a radio station. And she said, as long as my Golden Knights are playing the San Jose Sharks, the city of Las Vegas will ban blank. Choking. Do, do, do, do.

No? No. You just can't really ban that. Like if someone starts choking in a casino, they just throw them out. They don't help them. Charles Nelson Riley? I said, the color teal. They're banning the color teal from Los Angeles.

Is that what it is? I was trying to think of like a musical group that has like shark in its name. I'm like the sharks and the jets. Is that like a. Well, that's just it. I mean, like, it is a city of card sharks because you can't be like, oh, we're going to ban sharks. You can't do it. Like every casino is empty for the next two weeks.

Like, I'll not think this through. Right. Shit. All the high rollers leave for like Reno for a week. Like the what do you call it? What do you call it when your residency of Katie Perry? Like her entire shark show is now canceled. Yeah.

Love shark, right? I can no longer appear. Planet Hollywood until you reinstate sharks. The banning the color teal. How does one enforce this if you're Las Vegas? I imagine there's a lot of people that wear teal. Because it's really nice and sunny there. Like it are like from the city.

employees or just tourists. So like, so like let's say me and a buddy, we're rolling up to the arena for game one, me and a Joe Thornton jersey, you know, him and his Pavelsky jersey. Okay. Like I can be handcuffed and led away into like a paddy wagon and then throwing a jail. Is that the failure? I think you bring up an interesting question, which is. You know, we need, we need cops to get more reasons to arrest people. That's a really good idea.

Good job, baby. Yeah, I also wonder about the amount of teal. Like what is the, if you have a trace amount of teal, And you're wearing like the black sharks jersey, which doesn't have a lot of teal on it. Still teal though. Like is there is it like weed rules where if you have a, if you know, if you if you're carrying a certain amount. Yeah. It's criminal.

It's like trafficking. It's like it's intent to distribute your jersey. Right. Right. As opposed to just a recreational amount of your jersey. You've done you, you clearly have intent to distribute teal by wearing this home Logan Couture jersey. But like what does the story say? Like what they're going to do if somebody was wearing it?

Like are they going to like throw them out of it? Oh, buddy. you're really putting in too much import as if this is a story. This is a stupid thing. Tweeting. Oh, but she went on a radio station and said it. Three hours ago before we did this show,

we've decided to ban the color teal in Las Vegas as her golden nights play the Tennessee Sharks. Here's my prediction. Won't be police related or anything, but some drunken-ass Vegas fans are going to see someone in a charx shirt now and beat the shit out of them because they're wearing teal.

The mayor said, you can't wear that here. They're going to... It's a stupid. Oh, so you think it's going to incite violence. I think it's a stupid idea. I think mayor should stay out of the sports shit whenever it's true. that there's somebody in Vegas that has

like the teal bar you know it's like some bar themed to teal or like and then like one of the waitresses ran in and she's like Charlie Charlie have you seen the proclamation from the mayor what the fuck are we gonna do like like all the pools are closed because the water's too close to teal

everyone get in there and piss we gotta change the colors immediately or we're gonna have to close down for the week that said a brilliant move if you don't want peter teal in your city What's the what's the what's that Tropical Blue Drink that everyone likes by the East by the pool with? You mean like a like a Blue Lion or Electric Lemonade or a

Oh you know all of them don't you? I mean so I've been told well technically what Caribbean Island would I be ordering them in because no because that's another thing you can't do I don't want to say that I'm a drunk but I will say this nothing makes me angrier in life. Okay maybe Nazis but second to that is when they give you a drink in the wrong glass what say you to that? Like you know what it should be in, but you don't get the right glass. You don't give a shit. It just couldn't come in anything. You could put it in a solo cup.

You can put it in a champagne glass. It's all the same. Martini's in particular. I feel like you have to tell me ahead of time. But why? Okay. Because if you give me martinis in a highball glass or like something without a stem. I feel like stems are the thing, baby.

Nice stems. I feel like if you give me a martini in a glass that doesn't have a stem, you need to tell me that beforehand. If you give me a glass of wine in a glass, it doesn't have a stem. You need to tell me that beforehand as well. Does it taste different? It's the experience of it. The experience. Yeah. See, this goes back to your deep,

deep rooted feelings about why Star Wars is better than Empire. A New Hope is better than Empire because of like... The visceral thrill of the meaning of it and like what was behind the exhilaration of what was on the street. Right. It still tastes exactly the same. It doesn't. No, it's the experience of it. It's the experience of getting bombed. It's the experience of the flavor of the drink.

the glass is incidental. If you give me a slice of pizza on a pizza-shaped plate, then I'm not going to like it as much because I'm going to feel like you think I'm a child and that I couldn't handle it on a regular plate. I would feel constricted to it. I would feel constrictive. I feel like those things. And then also like if you give me the worst thing, here's the worst thing about my drink problem.

Here's a thing, baby. Not my drinking problem, my drink problem. It's that when you're at a bar and you get the list of drinks. drinks and then you're looking over at the bar and you see different because I'm a big I'm a big fan of the glasses obviously you see one glass that's like the fucking thing that Moloram had to make people drink blood out of in Temple of Doom like it is like the most absorbent what's the word I'm looking for it's the most over the top flashy yeah you're there you're right and gaudy Goddy good word glass that they have and I'm looking at this menu and I'm like I'm not going to ask what drink goes in it because that's kind of like ostentatious i'm not going to be like that but but you do care but i do care i care enough to think okay i'm looking at this thing it's like a skull it's got like beads on it and shit and then if i see something that's like the voodoo mitai cocktail paloosa i'm like that's got to be it and then you order it and then it comes in like a fucking like regular glass

and i get real pissed off see this is doubly dumb because you could just request the ostentatious class. Ooh, ostentatious. Is that the word we're looking for? I think so, maybe. And then have it in there and you can be happy within everything you want, but instead you keep it quiet and then get mad when the person doesn't bring you the thing that they don't mentally know that you want. Yeah, and that's just it. I mean, it all comes

down to my deepest psychological failing, which is that people not knowing exactly what I'm thinking at all times. Admitting the weird thing that you... So like, if we were both in Temple of Doom, not Temple of Doom, if we were both in the last... Last Crusade. Yeah, you die. I live because I don't care what the cup looks like.

You would drink from the cup of a carpenter. Right. I would have. And I would be like. I'd have eternal life. And you'd be like, well, eternal life is great and all. But look how sweet this gold chalice is. This one's got giant golden wings on it.

And it's got a halo that somehow floats above it at all times. It's amazing. Greg, it says this will kill you on the side of the glass. No, that's just a Banksy. That just makes the glass even cooler. I'm drinking out of it. All right. Listen, motherfucker.

You wouldn't even known there was an invisible bridge there if it wasn't for me, all right? I think I know my way around this last crusade. Jehovah's with a... What was it again? There's the spelling of Jehovah was a trick or whatever. Yeah, it was like Jehovah is spelled with a W or something. In Hebrew, Jehovah spelled with a W. And when he's going through the things of the sawblades come through and they cut him back and forth and Sean Congress like,

the petrolet man, the petulant man, the petulant man. And then Harrison Ford's like, the petulant man kneels. And he kneels down. I've come to learn that one of my favorite movie tropes is first noticed this in Reservoir Dogs where you could shoot Tim Roth in the stomach. Right. He could bleed for 16 hours and not die. Sean Connery, an old man gets shot in the stomach.

Oh, yeah. He doesn't die for like two hours. He just bleed out. Right. And an atomic blonde, the guy's spyglass. I forget his name in real life. He's in a million things. He also got shot in the stomach.

Put some duct tape over and he's fine. What world is this where people get shot in the stomach and can't die? Right. It's like we need him. in this part of the movie. What if we do? Oh, we'll just shoot him in the stomach. Everyone knows it takes a really long time for you to die when you should get shot in the stomach. Like, there's no way it takes like that long. I don't know. I've never been shot in the stomach, so I don't know. But it just seems like it doesn't take as long as they want to make it out to in movies. And he pours the,

he pours the Holy Grail on Sean Connery and it heals it, right? It bubbles up like Eltser and heals it. But the bullet, does the bullet pop out? Or does it just kind of like plaster over it? I forget. That's a very good question. Because it is, I mean, when Logan heals himself, the bullet pops out. Pops out. Yeah, it does. Maybe the water dissolves the bullet inside of him. This Jesus water is pretty incredible. I mean, it dissolves metal. But that's how Logan dies is because the metal inside of him is now leaking into his bloodstream. So maybe Sean Connery dies like four seconds after the credits run on the horse. He just tips over the side. I still think Logan would have been a better movie if a mutant played by Rickettservais was living with Stephen Merchant in that check.

Oh, you offended that. You offended by sunlight there. Oh, I'm sorry. have I offended you with my, with my, with my, with my, with my sunlight. I said I'm fine. Are you having a laugh? It sounds like I having a laugh. Is he having a laugh? I'm a glorified truffle pig, eh? Right. Sorry, I can't smell out the humans. Are you offended by my inability to not find humans? Oh man. Hmm. Nobody ever gets shot in a head and they're bleeding out. Like, uh-oh. Hmm. I was watching the mission apart, the first mission impossible before they became like these intricate things. The ending to that movie, at the time it was stupid.

You look back and watch it now. Phelps and the French lady and they're all on the train. He shoots her in the stomach and she dies instantly, by the way, and that bullet. Tell, Tom Cruise, I love. I can't figure out what's going on to that scene because he kills her, elbows him in the head, doesn't murder him, leaves him alive. Right. Then they go up on the train, and then before the train goes in the tunnel, both, Feltz him. Phelps and Cruz fall off of the train going 150 miles an hour.

Right. And, like, they cut back to it again, and Tom Cruise is hanging off the side. Mm-hmm. He's not attached to it like Jim Phelps is. No. He's just really strong. He has ballet fighting moves. Go back.

Like, the fourth most ridiculous thing is Jean-Renaud flying the helicopter inside the fucking tunnel. There's three other ridiculous things that happened before that. You're just like, oh. All right. Let's do it. The worst one was two, obviously. I didn't count that one.

Two is... That was a job. Don Wu movie. It had a lot of flying doves. There were dubs. Yep. There were dubs at the end. Now, a lot of people, to go up back to our Logan discussion, a lot of people don't know that, Du Grey Scott, do you gay, do gray, that guy who played the villain was actually slated to play Wolverine in the, um, wait, who's Duke Grey Scott? I don't know that person. Or maybe he was

he up for Wolverine or was he up for? Oh, you know, or was he up for, um, who's the cat, uh, what's his face from Garfield? No, okay, hang on. Sheshire. Who's the dude that played that dude in Lord of the Rings that was in Eastern Promises, the real shit kicker? Vigo Mortensen. Vigo Mortensen. I think that that dude was supposed to play Vigo Mortensen's dude in Lord of the Rings, the bad guy that was in Mission Impossible, too.

Oh, I don't remember. Oh, wait, no. I'm really fucking up my movie history. Okay. Duke Grey Scott was supposed to play Wolverine, but didn't. And it wound up being Hugh Jackman. But the dude who played Stort Townsend. Don't know who that is.

Who was, I forget, oh, he played, did ever see The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? Oh, yeah. He played, dude with the painting. Oh, Dorian Gray. Yeah. He played that guy in that movie, and he was supposed to play fucking Vigo Mortensen's dude

in Lord of the Rings. That guy? That was vague, trying to remember shit in a really hot room history. It is warming here again. It's a warm in here. You got the AC crank, buddy? Man, it's good times.

What the fuck? we're talking about? Oh, yeah. So, okay. So two's the worst. Ah, okay. Now we get into some trouble. The other ones all kind of run together. The other ones are all pretty good. They're all the same kind of. Number one is Rogue Nation. Did you read that? Which one's Roagnesian? That was four. That was climbing on the side of the giant building. Yes. Okay. Yeah. The Sandstorm comes over. I would say the first Mission Impossible is number two for me. I love that movie in a big way. It does not hold up. Oh, but it has the best set piece of any of these movies. Which is what? When he goes in and dangles in the ceiling, and he's in the room. Just deal with the disc.

You look back now, man, and that movie, that movie feels like it's from like 74. Like, you know how, like, you watch a movie from, like, back in the day when your parents watch movies in their 20s? You're just like, what was this? You're like, why are they all driving cutlasses and then having chases on foot?

What, so you would say what? You would say the last one would be number two or number three would be number two? Number three with Philip Seymour Hoffman, which was pretty baller. I like that one. I think I like that one the best, actually. I'll go Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Well, we'll just say three and four are one and two, are one and two. So that means that you like the first one better or the last one with Rebecca Hall better? Rebecca Hall is the one. She's the assassin. It's the whole thing in the opera house. That one was okay, I guess. I like the first one better than that one.

Yeah, I like that one. I think I like the last one the least, but it's still good. So we'll go three and four tied for first and then one and then the last one and then number two is like way in the back. Yeah, like I still. Number two is like attack of the clones in this situation. The plot of two is just insanely stupid. The plot of two is like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

labyrinthine. He can't even figure out the fuck's going on. It's that, and it's also just like, like, the whole plot is to send Fandy Newton back to her ex-boyfriend who may murder her at any moment. Right. It just doesn't make any fucking sense. It doesn't make it. It's weird out. Thandi Newton is now in two things, like, make no fucking sense. Oh, how dare you, sir? Westworld makes perfect sense.

Boy, just. I mean, let me rephrase that. It'll all make perfect sense, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm not committing my time to something nonsensical, like, get it with Lost, even though. Exactly the same thing. And it was funny. Like, I'm watching it, and, like, one of the last credits in the opening sequence is, like, produced by J.J. Abrams and like, wait a second. Yes. I forgot about that.

That's it. I watched the premiere. I watched the season two premiere and I'm like, that's it. I'm out. Dealers out. Last, last episode of Westfield's going to be like, turns out they're not robots. They're angels and burglary. Oh, man. It's just fucking one fucking speech after another from the blonde cowgirl robot. Oh, you mean Evan Rachel Wood? Evan Rachel Wood. Yeah.

I love that show. It's great. Boring dialogue. You're so wrong. All right. You believe... I believe that caps will win. I believe that caps will win. This is a safe space.

Is this a bit? It's caps in no more than six. We won't even need a seventh game in this series. That's because you know they can't win a seventh game. It's the same reason I picked the Leafs and Six in this series that's still going on as we do the show. This is it. This is the year.

Now tell everybody out there why it's the year. Oh, come on. We don't have that much time. We've already blown like 20 minutes on Mission Impossible and... Yeah, but now we're going to be. We're going to get to the less important stuff. So tell everybody why you think it's the Caps year. Well, for one, already, if Ganyi Malkins out, game one, the guy that really matters the most.

He's the-travelled. Traveled. Not playing game one, though. No. So already, already, the Caps were up 1-0 in this series. Right. They're up 1-0 in this series. It's just the year, man.

There's just, you can just, they're just different. Like, the Caps teams of the past would have shit their pants on three different occasions against the blue jackets. Didn't do it. Braden Hopi's coming in. more arrested because he was dog shit the last two months, but he's not dog shit now. It's just the time. Penguins are worn down. Penguins won that series in six, but man, they didn't really look impressive.

They let the door open more than a few times for the Flyers to win that series. If the Flyers had just put Ron Hextall on that for three, four, five, and six, there's probably a game seven. Like, how insanely bad is Dave Haxthaw managing his goaltenders? They're all the same. And he's like, I'm riding Brian L. the guy who hasn't played in two months because of core muscle surgery. Yeah, but in fairness to it's like fucking, you got to make dinner.

You open up the fridge. There's a thing of rotten eggs. There's brown lettuce. And then there's just a bag of shit. And you're like, all right, I got three ingredients. What the fuck am I going to do here? No, it's more like you open up the fridge and you have like three awful hungry men dinners of just varying types. Like one's barbecue, one's chicken, one's a burger.

And you just ride the chicken one the whole time when you just try the burger. If I may, there's absolutely no way that Brian Elliott isn't a Salisbury steak. He's got to be the Salisbury steak of the hungry man. He's more the vegetarian one. No meat on those bones. Just wilting away every time. And Peter Razick's the one where it's like, you thought it was a good purchase at the time? Like, that's your, that's your like mushroom lasagna.

Yeah. And you're like, wait a second, what was I thinking? But at some point you got to try the mushroom lasagna, man. You have to. A Michael Noirth is like, you know, I could just. order a burger, but then again, I've got this hungry man burger here. I might as well just have that. It probably wouldn't have mattered, but you know, you just want to see a coach who's willing to just try something. They're all the, like, if you have, like, the devils in game three,

like, Corey Schneider kind of started off a little shitty. But at that point, you're not going to go back to Keith Kincaid. You just went back to, but like, if you have three goalies that are all these 905 terrible goalies with mediocre postseason numbers, actually Marazek and Noivert had good numbers coming in, but Dave Haxthal, man, loves his Radco Gudis, loves his Radco Goodas, loves is Brian Elliott. They're battling, Greg. They're battling. I agree with you that the Penguins did not win in convincing fashion. They had two shutouts and the other four games were kind of just like, health or skilter.

When they turn it on, they are quite good. And I'm wondering if they are going to be more locked in against this hated rival opponent that they're very confident they could win against. Perhaps too confident. Oh, you think now they're overconfident? A little too confident. Would you agree that the Washington Capitals are icing, their thinnest lineup.

Oh, yeah. They're so not as deep compared to the other ones. But, I mean, again, go back to game six, man. They got that cheesy goal in the third period of game six. That shouldn't have happened to make it a one goal game. And who steps up? Devante Smith Pelley, Chandler-Stevenson. I talked to Devonty Smith-Pelly after that game, and I'm like,

so you're getting your first taste of this penguin series, huh? He's like, yeah, I'm ready for it. I'm excited about it. That's what you need. You need guys like that don't have the psychological beatdown of the last two years. He's ready to go. I think they've got like three or four guys that haven't been a part of this toxic nonsense.

Orloff's better. And then the other thing about the series that I think at least gives me pause as someone who's picked the penguins. Are you pick the penguins? Besides the Malkin and Hagelin injuries. Hagelin probably more than Malkin. I bet Malkin plays game two. I think they sit Malkin for game one because they know the capitals are eight and two in

game one and it doesn't fucking mattered. Well, yeah. And also like if you lose game one, you can still play the series. It's not like it's over. Yeah, I mean, they're won a night against the penguins And eight and two in game one So you tell me how important game one is in the series But I think that the more

The more salient point for me is that I mean, Holpey's never been Terrible against the Penguins Oh, but he's never been great He was terrible last year I don't know if he's been, I don't know He wasn't terrible two years ago Matt Muriel played him

Terrible to me is like walk a shame Fucking can't start the guy Like he's not won the series And I think when you say terrible It's terrible in comparison to how he is in the rest of the playoffs and in normal life. I think he's pretty terrible last year. But he's played really well since he got back.

Yeah. And he's not running to the ground like he was the last few years. I'm a little bit concerned about Matt Murray doing this without a safety net. I got to be honest with you a little bit. Like if there was a Mark Andre Fleury there where if Murray, you know, has a shitty game three and the caps are up to 1, you go back to Flurry, that's the kick in the ass. That kind of, like, we've seen that movie before. I'm a little bit more confident in this pick, but I tend to believe he's going to be

all right in this series. I'm not worried about Matt Murray. I'm not worried. I mean, like, he could be the difference in terms of being crappy, for sure, because he had some not-so-great games against Philly. But, I mean, if the penguins are still the penguins that they used to be, you can put in Casey DeSmith or Tristan Jerry or whoever other. No, you can't.

Remember they tried to do that against the Rangers that one year? Who do they, they... Well, no, they started the playoffs with Jeff Zatkoff. Right, they had to because they're injuries and shit, right? That Matt Murray was like 975 over the last three games, and then the rest was history. Yep. And so this year, Matt Murray's had a bad regular season. you had a so-so series against the flyers

it's all just setting up for the caps man you're right if Matt Murray's bad in game one Matt Murray gets up four goals on 11 shots in game one you're just like uh-oh what do we do I'm just trying to figure out where this all comes from I know where it comes from this delusion that people's like because you also pick the flyers or the penguins didn't you? I may have

yeah I may have so you're you're both a devotee of the idea that the penguins are bad not bad they're running out of gas and even though they aren't. And then you're also one of these delusional people that's like, hey, it's got to happen at some time for the Capitals, even though it never does. If the Flyers had any goaltending in that series,

the Penguins probably don't win it. They were losing game six going to the third period. Right? They were down two goals in the third period. Yeah, and then they said this, oh, okay, we're going to win now. And they just fucking took the game over. Well, yeah, Ivan Proverroffs out there with like half his body working, trying to make cross-ice passes in his own zone.

By the way, can we agree that the MCL is the most overrefer group? rated CL in the world. I know. Why does anybody need them? Sean Cotier can do all that shit with a ripped up one. Come on, man. Did you see the thing on Twitter where the guy had the first penis transplant? No, I did not.

I'm thinking what happens. Somebody, I guess, donated their penis in balls. Have you had about this? A penis transplant? Dog, true story. No, but if you're a hockey player, you should donate your MCLs to people that need them because apparently you don't. You don't need them.

Yeah. That's the thing. Sean Cotterier had like the greatest series of all time, He's got one knee. Now he's got to go up against backstreaming. MCU greater than sign MCI, greater than sign MCL. Greater than sign. Oh, wait, no.

What are you doing? MC. MC equals E squared. Is that the relatively? Not in close. Wow. Did you drink before you came in here today? I did not.

I wish I did. E equals MC squared. There you go. Right. That's what I said. You said MC equals E squared. Yeah, it's pretty much the same thing. It's all.

I carry the squared. That's greater than sign MCU. Oh, that's what you're doing. And that's greater than sign MCI. I think you're doing like no betterment, no sign. And that's greater than sign MCL. MCL is the last of the MC's. Oh, wait.

MCL greater than sign MC, aka MasterCard. It would have to be your ball. And then greater than sign MC Hammer, who is greater than sign MC light, who is greater than sign that MC on your calculator, that I'm not quite sure what it does. That's how, that's manufacturer calculations. Oh, okay. Sure.

That's, that's magnitude of, of control. I pick the Penguins in seven because why not. I just don't, I think they're, I think they're good enough to win with a diminished Malkin. I don't know if he misses the series if they can win. He won't miss a series if he tried. And, uh, there's a reason. reason why the capitals have never been past the second round with Alex Ovechkin on this team. Oh, oh, here we go. It's not an

Ovechkin thing. I'm just saying in this era with this core, with this group, they just can't do it. And the penguin's standing in their way is going to... Now, the other thing that I think sets up for the capitals is all the bitching that Barry Trots did earlier this season about like, so unfair we get locked into a game against the penguins, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cabals will be playing the winner of the Leafs and Bruins series if it was an unbracketed play the seating type situation, receding situation. It's all the same at this point.

So wouldn't it be ironic if they finally get past the penguins because they play them instead of playing either the Leafs or Bruins? Caps would beat the Leafs. Caps probably wouldn't meet the Bruins. We'll get to that series in a second. Caps, this is it, man. Pressures off. Freewheeling caps.

I think the issue for me for the Caps is that even if you take Malkin out of the equation, the penguins still have upwards of five guys that can win a series on their own. Five. Win a game on their own and then all kind of row together to win a series. their own. Sid, Phil,

Murray, Gensel. Gensel. Gensel. He's going to win a series on his own. Dude, at this point, if you're like, he's counterfeit, look at the fucking stats. Yeah, I mean, how did he score that goal where Phil Kessel set him up on a 2-10? How does Jake Gensel do it?

You know what? How does it? There's a lot of guys in these post seasons that don't score goals. Jake Gensel does. And they're usually not, those guys aren't playing with Phil Kessel and Gennie Malkin and Sidney Crime. And the last guy, of course, is Brian Dumlin. Brian Duhlin. He's got two game winners in the series

both for the flyers, right? Just the one game winner. The other one was just a goal. Penguins in seven! All right. As the Capitol's pain continues, and they'll go at it again next year with Todd Reardon as their head coach.

Caps in five or six. Five or six. I don't want to get too crazy. Probably six. So are the caps now you're picked to win the cup? Oh, no. The caps are going to lose to Tampa. Oh, okay.

This is the thing they're going to do. They're going to finally get over the hump and then be so just like relieved, they're going to be like, oh, man, and tampon for it. Okay, so you do subscribe to the, it's going to happen in some way, shape, or form. It's just a matter of how. So the capitals are basically hockey's answer to final destination. Like, death is inevitable. We just to figure out if it's someone falling into a plane turbine or someone accidentally

dropping a toaster oven in the bathtub while they're in it. Like, what's it going to be? Like right now, the caps are out walking in the rain. Right. And the power lines are down. Right. But at the last second, and the audience is like, uh-uh. They're going to get shoved out of the way and into a car.

Into a car, right? Driven by Stephen Stamcoast and John Cooper. But you'll still get out of the way of the power lines for the first time, and that's all that matters. Exactly. As we do the show, Game 7 is tonight between Leves and Boston. If it's Leaves Lightning, what do you like? Oh, lightning either way. Yeah, me too.

Doesn't matter. Yeah, they're rested up. Vaseleski looked good against the Devils. That alleviated one concern there. Kuturoff was great in that series Kuturoff was better in that series than I thought he could be in a series to be honest with you

offensively great, exerted himself physically with that hit on that and then that was completely illegal of course and because every legal hit results in a concussion. Obviously. Yeah, all that jive. You know, his head didn't take the full force of it. No. But somehow a concussion managed to sleep in there

through his helmet and everything. But, you know, watching that Tampa team as much as they did as they knocked out my sweet beloved Devils. I was reminded that they have an, and maybe, I don't want to say underrated, but maybe underappreciated amount of depth on that team. Like Palat. Gord. You know, yeah, Tyler Johnson can still,

he's kind of runs hot and cold, but he can, we could bring it. Right. Yeah, nine forwards at the very least that'll destroy it at some point and they'll destroy. Home Ice too, I think is good in that series. They're arrested. They're comfortable. They've been here before. I get, I don't know what's going to happen in game seven. I will say this. Toronto for Boston, too, final.

Oh, well, that would be prophetic if that actually happened. Just want to get there. I do. I'm happy if the Leafs win because, you know, sure. Toronto could use some happiness and joy at this moment in history. And also, you know, the playoffs are, I think, more interesting if they advance against Tampa than if Boston does. And I'm happy if they lose because this is absolutely the last fucking season that we can play the, it's an education process for the young stars on the Toronto.

Oh, you know, fast forward to 2025. I really think Austin Matthews, after losing in the first round yet again, has learned a thing or two about what it takes to compete in the playoffs. Gregory, you're forgetting that last year was not supposed to be a playoff year for the Leaves. This is supposed to be the first year in which they're supposed to do stuff. You're saying that last year is like bonus. It's just gravy before the mashed potatoes. You get gravy on like, it's like an oil.

hors d'oeuvre of gravy. Yeah. And like a gravy puffin or something, a gravy coozen. They're still... It's a gookin. Not a cuisine. And then, like, they bring out the mashed potatoes this year, and then you mix them together. And maybe next year is when the year...

Like, if they lose in the first round next year, then it's right. But can't you feel it, though? Can't you feel it in the air? Can't you feel like all of a sudden the series are like, oh, the young leaves plucky as they are, learning a thing or two about playoff hockey. But Austin Matthews really needs to start scoring some fucking goals here, you know? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's not missing Nazim Caddry for three and a third games. Yeah, it's getting there. It's getting there. It's getting. Oh, the boys are going to bring a parade to Toronto at some point. This is the crude that we need with a great coach in Mike Babcock. But Austin Matthews needs to fucking score. Here's why I think Boston winning is better.

Because if the Leafs lose, I feel like that front office is still kind of calm enough to not do anything crazy. Boston or Toronto. Okay. But I think if they lose, and let's say they lose five. I've won tonight and just Jake Gardner looks like ass again. You know, the back end's terrible. Maybe they make a panic move. Maybe they go out and get Drew Dowdy.

Era. All I will give you. If they win, it's way harder to break things up and change the course. But if they lose in horrific fashion tonight, there's more of a chance of panic there than Boston. I think the Dowdy thing is interesting only because, like, I feel like there's going to be some level of clarification on his future. Because you figure they're going to come to him with a contract off. offer the Kings the summer right right and they'll have a better idea if he's going to go to market or not then drew doughty drew daddy stays there for another seven years again this whole thing where people

don't want to move their shit like yeah move your shit but your shit's in californ like your shit's got a fucking beach view that's the far with that yeah but you can go to toronto man like and you get a lake view it's not like he's not like he's being like sent to like hmm which fan base why piss off it's not like you're being sent to no let's see you've accomplished amazing things for the franchise that wants to pay you for eight years to live at the beach. It's either one of two things for Drew Doughty. It's go play for a fucking taskmaster in a city

where they're going to tear you apart if you don't bring a cup there. Or be Joe Thornton. But Joe Thornton having already won twice. I would rather, well, I don't know. Like if Matt Dushain would rather live in Ottawa, the Denver, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that Drew would rather live in Toronto than L.A. for six or seven years.

It's not like he's not from Ontario. He played his junior right there. There's a, thanks Don Cherry, the fucking manifest destiny of the Ontario player going back home to help them win. There's been exactly one person that's done that, and it's Mike Babcock. I'm not counting Marlowe. No one was given Marl that money in that contract. And also, they've been so shitty for so long that nobody wants to go back and play

for a shitty team. Now they're a team on the grow. So you're saying that because Leif's grow. So you're saying that Austin Matthews, Is like the Connor McDavid effect where people want to go play for the Leafs because they have good young talent? Not even that. Like someone's going to do Cheech it up and go there because... Here's Toronto way up here.

Yeah. Okay. Here's L.A. Your hand is above your head. This is obviously not television. Way down here. L.A. is now on your thigh. L.A. is just... You're rubbing your thigh.

Sensually to indicate that... Now you're feeling your own calf muscle? My cat's on my... Oh, wait, your thigh muscle. Sorry. I don't really know. You weren't boozing today, weren't you? We're boozing today.

Not at all. We're doing the show inside of... a toaster oven right now. I do feel a little finish. I feel like a shrinky dink. I feel like Tuka-A. after winning the cup. I'm just sitting in a sauna celebrating. Yeah. What are we talking about? You're talking about how Toronto was by your head and L.A. is on your thigh.

L.A. is on the way down, man. That's a team that's going to get blown up. Why do you want to hang out there? Don't be loyal. Don't be loyal for shit that happened in the past. Go. You have a 15-year window to do awesome shit in your hockey career. Go do some awesome shit in Toronto. But he's already done awesome shit. You can do more awesome shit. You don't want to rest on your awesome shit, Laurels. you want to do more awesome shit. Unless Toronto wins tonight, then it doesn't matter.

Then they probably won't go too crazy. Unless Tampa murders them in the second round. We both think Tampa's going to advance. Yeah. And do we both think they're going to beat the penguins or the caps? I think they'll beat the caps. They play the penguins. I'd like to reassess.

So, okay, so just to be clear, if the penguins make it past the capitals, does capital's juggernaut? Then you'll believe that they are made of the stern stuff to potentially win their cover. I mean, if you can beat the caps in the second round, You can do anything. See, that's the other bullshit part of the whole Caps thing, too, is the last two years, that series has been for the Cup.

I can't prove it because the Caps always lose. Right. But the team that emerged in that series won the Cup. That was a 1-2 matchup last year, the way Nashville Winnipeg is this year. And people are going to, like, if Winnipeg loses, look back and, oh, remember Winnipeg couldn't get out of the second round? Yeah, they played the Predators. Because this league is stupid. No other Sports League does this.

No sports league is like, hey, congratulations. The Giants, you went 15 and 1 this year. Oh, who's the Wildcar team I get? the 14 and two cowboys. They're in your division. Good luck. The National Predators, of course, the aforementioned President's trophy winner, play the Winnipeg Jets in round two.

Who you got in this series? That's the Preds and 7. I got the Pres in 7 as well. I think that I kind of harken back to what we just saw with the Blue Jack. It's like Blue Jack it should have won that series. But the problem is that they don't know how to close out a team. And I think Winnipeg is in a position that Nashville was in last year, which is the educational process of a potential Stanley Cup champion.

You've got to learn to crawl before you learn to walk. Yeah. And I feel like when it gets down to it, they're not going to be able to overcome Nashville. I think Nashville is going to be too good. And a game seven on home ice against Nashville is not a good proposition for the Jets. I like Nashville on seven. And also, whoever wins that series is going on the second cup final. Not winning the cup for sure, but whatever team wins that is going to beat San Jose or Vegas.

I tend to believe so. So, you know, Vegas, or Vegas, Winnipeg might be that team that, like, I can't remember the last team that went from not making the playoffs to win in 16 on their first trip, but it hasn't happened in a really long time. But if Winnipeg plays Pittsburgh or Tampa in the final, that's going to be anti-climactic, I think. What's the over-under on the number of complaints from Winnipeg fans that Nashville's getting all the calls because they're the league's new darling? What, Nashville is? I guarantee fucking team. The team that had game six stolen from it by an early whistle? Are you going to happen in this series?

The longer Winnipeg goes in these playoffs. Look at the mayor's Twitter page. I know. I had my laptop who went on the ground and Loza just linked to the mayor of Las Vegas. I need that. Sorry. I think the longer they go in the playoffs, the more there's going to be complaints about the officiating being skewed against Winnipeg because no one wants the Jets to win or whatever. I don't really care.

Okay. That's why the mute button exists on Twitter. So you don't have to see that stuff. Winnipeg, San Jose would be awesome because it's the Evander Cane. series. The Wi-Fi series. And the Wi-Fi series. Oh, God. Oh, no, it is setting up for that, isn't it? It's going to be the Wi-Fi series. We've already had the precursor.

The Wi-Fi and Evander-Cain trades. It's obviously going to be Jets Sharks. Now I think about it. Then you're going to have the Jets and the Sharks. Didn't even think about it. Oh, God, there's three things now. I still think it's going to be Nashville, though. Nashville in seven. Maybe five. Kyle Turris has

no even strength points in six games for the Predators. He doesn't? Nope. Didn't he get one the last game? Oh, it was waved off the goal. Yeah. He, yeah, that's kind of a crazy thing. What's happening for them, though, that's kind of interesting is that Nick Benino now has yet another, like, super hot playoff line with Cisns and Watson, I think, is on the R on that line.

Watson has, like, killing it. Watson has, like, seven points and six games or something. Also, Rick Nash, by the way, has one point in six games. Yeah, we've lost over that. I had somebody come at me again on Twitter about, like, oh, but look at a shot attempt. This is blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, dude, honestly, I really appreciate people recycling. You know, I think it's good for the environment.

But this is the same fucking thing every year. Every year. Every year. It's unbelievable. It's inexplicable how, because he does get chances. Like, he put shots on goal. They just don't go in. Right.

It's funny how, like, there's a time, sometimes in a game where some dude keeps getting all the chances, but it's like Matt Martin. Yeah. And you're like, oh, God, why couldn't that be so and so? except like Rick Nash isn't Matt Mark. He should be getting four chances of the game and putting one in the net. In the playoffs he is.

Yeah. No, it's funny. It's like, I was thinking about this earlier. It's almost like the universe has to stay in balance. So for every player who was, remember how like Danny Breyer was like a point per game player in the playoffs, but not that in the regular season? Like for every player that elevates their game to that degree, there needs to be one guy who gets knocked down to keep the universe in balance, even Stephen.

I don't know how he does it, man. The one goal he had too, I think was like a A-Rod. blowout home run type goal. It was in game one for sure. It might have put him up three, so it might have been an okay goal, but that's... I just don't know. Are you a Yankee fan, I forget. Oh, fuck you.

How dare you, sir. Okay, but you understand the Yankees. Oh, I do. Okay. Deeply. So, Gregorius... Is it Gregorius? Yeah, that's right.

You laughed because it made me think that I did, I miss... Because I don't give a shit about the Yankees. Well, you saw the thing yesterday with him, right? What's that? The Yankees were having, like, a bat day for him, and on, like, You know how, like, behind-tone plate there's ads for it or whatever. The Yankees had his name spelled wrong. Oh, really?

Yeah. To me, this guy seems like he's going to end up being a better player than Jeter. He already is. But, like, will they ever acknowledge that? No, of course. They all have to make pretend that Jeter's, like, the best player of all time. Right. Like, if Corey Schneider would have won, like, two cups in his first three years of the devils,

no one would have been like, hey, maybe he's better than Marty. They would have just been like, well, Marty played in a different era, blah, blah, blah, right. Right. Yeah. No, it's, it's, he's, he's been pretty much better. like Jeter had some years obviously he hung around long enough for 3,000 hits

but like towards the end Jeter was an absolute black goal on the team and like the second Gregorius got there he's been fantastic Austin Matthews doesn't score like 50 goals a season in perpetuity but they're still going to be people like oh but he's not Dougie Gilmore Ruggy Gilmore was a killer he had art

Wendell Clark he can go out there and he can play as tough as anybody that's why he won oh wait no right exactly yeah hold on yeah I feel like this guy this guy's going to have like incredible stats and be incredible and be the best player in the league and whatever. And then people are going to just be like,

but he wasn't a fucking captain like Jada. Yeah, he didn't happen to play on a super loaded team that spent twice as much as the next closest team. The thing that Jita was was clutch. Yeah, he was clutch. He got hot. It's always great to hit in front of really good hitters that nobody wants to pitch to them.

By the way, you hit 280-foot home runs down there. After going there this past weekend again, I will say this about Yankee Stadium. It is so inferior to City Field. Like, the Mets are never going to be the Yankees. I could say with some fucking certainty that our stadium is better than theirs. Not by a lot, but it is.

It's not terrible. The old Yankee Stadium, like... There are parts of Manhattan in the summer that smell like piss, right? Like, you're in a certain subway station and you're just like, wow, somebody was really pissing down here. That was Yankee Stadium every time you went before the new one. It was always... And Shay smelled like piss, too. Any old building of Manhattan or New York smells like piss.

Right. But the new city... I mean, luckily, the asbestos smell at Nassau Coliseum always covered up the piss, which was a nice... a nice part of it was a nice little cocktail for the nostrils. I always liked that Yankee Stadium, like, for whatever reason, in the old Yankee Stadium, you'd sit in the upper deck, and there was always something burning out in the distance. There's always like this weird black smoke.

You'd be, like, watching the game at home, and, like, somebody would hit, like, a high home run the right, and then, like, off to the side, there's, like a smoke thing happening, and you're just like... Shade Stadium, you're worried about a plane falling out of the sky. At Yankee Stadium, they're just like this weird fire always burning in the distance. They were both dumps. They were such dumps. If anyone's never been to them and you feel like you missed out, you did not.

me on this. But the Yankee Stadium, I don't get why they built it to look like the old one exactly. Like the Mets were like, let's do something new and fun. The Yankees were like tradition, same everything. Terrible food. Food's fine. It's okay. Better at City. Is it good for hockey if Winnipeg wins this series? Or is it better for hockey if Nashville continues to establish itself as a glamour franchise? I don't even know what that means. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if anybody. I just hit you with the classic, don't you think that it would be better for hockey if McDavid went to the ranges? Right. But like, wasn't, who, who put out the thing? Was it like sports business

journal? Oh, the ratings thing? Yeah. Didn't Winnipeg have the lowest? Were they in the highest section? I forget. The Nashville made a huge jump. The Devils jumped. The L.A. Kings had the lowest. Yeah, but they were all percentages. They were all percentages though. Like, the devils had like a 50% increase. So does that mean it went from like four guys watching the eight or six?

Whatever it would be? Like, I needed actual numbers. I was looking through that tweet for like some information. You talk off. Yeah, the Kings had a giant decrease. The Rangers had a giant decrease. The Rangers had a giant decrease. Chicago had a giant decrease, which is kind of disconcerting. That's a place where I'm really wondering if they, like, what's going to happen if they

spend a few years in the wilderness? Like, is that bandwagon going to thin out? Is it going to be one of those situations? Or are these guys, are the folks that have been attracted to the Blackhawks now died in the wool, Blackhawks fans? Are they going to stick around if this team sucks for a while? Oh, no. They'll fucking bail.

You got the ratings there? What was it? Yeah, Winnipeg isn't in either of them. All right, Mikey. Dog. Lowest ratings. Kings, Islanders, coyotes, Panthers.

Is that Florida? Florida Panthers? I can't. Islanders games are almost unwatchable when you're in the arena. It's hard enough. Why would you watch them on TV?

Well, the islanders had the lowest overall, those are the lowest overall ratings. The biggest decline was Philly, Buffalo. Like eventually people in Buffalo are finally like, what are we doing? Great. Why are we supporting this? But the national ratings in Buffalo are always insane.

Like, it's incredible how much they watch hockey in that town. But like, it's all, it's the original six. cities. Detroit, Chicago, and the Rangers had the three

biggest declines. The biggest gains were Nashville. The dude who took the screenshot covered up the number two team with like a little

pop-up thing that comes up when you like scroll over something, so I don't know what it is. The real pro. And then it's Colorado Devils.

So the islanders had the biggest gain and yet they were still the second least watched team. Highest is, oh, Buffalo is the highest, but people are bailing,

man. Here's the thing. Don't watch games on TV. Hockey is unwatchable on TV. We all know that. It's hard to find the pocket they should make a glow.

Oh my God. You can't see all the players all the time. It's one big swinging dick camera back and forth. It's the most boring sport to watch on TV. That's why you need to get in the arena. And there's only one way to get in the arena, my friend. With Seekek, buying tickets to sports and concerts can be complicated or confusing, but there is a better way to buy with Seek, the smartest, easiest way to get tickets

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ZipRecruiter. All right. You want to do your ZipRecruiter bit now? Before we get to the Vegas Golden Knights and the Santa of the Sharks, we probably should talk about the giant. gray-haired elephant in the room, sipping a Diet Coke. The return of Mike Franceso to New York Radio. The Jay Leno of Sports.

Retired. Gave someone my time slot coming back hard. For those who don't have been following this because you honestly don't give a shit about New York Radio. Mike Francesas going back to WFAN in the afternoon. Replacing a show with Chris Carlin was it? No, he's in prison. He's in prison. Is he the guy that went?

Craig Carton in prison. Chris Carlin. Oh, Bart Scott. That's two different guys. Yeah. And then Maggie Gray, who used to be at SI. Oh, yeah. Those are they, so they've had that slot for just like...

They've had that slot for like 15 minutes. They lost the ratings book to Michael Kay. The best part about this Mike Francesa story, if you've not heard it, is apparently, well, first of all, apparently someone has found out that the name Mike Francesa doesn't really travel all that far outside of New York City. So when you're like, thinking you're king's shit and you're like, oh. You know, go start a podcasting network. And, like, you find out no one gives a shit about you. You're like, going to go back to WFAN. I'm going to do my thing here.

Yeah. But the best part about it is at least the way the story has been framed was, like, Frances is like, oh, I like, I'm going to go do my own thing. And then someone's like, you know, they're like, do not welcome back here at BFAN? And then Frances is like, I'm going to come back to WFAN now. Who said he wasn't welcome back? We don't know. But that was the story was that somebody. So he's coming back out of spite?

Somebody at WFAN was like, you're not welcome back here. You're done. And he's like, I'm coming back. How old is he? He just took his fucking thing back. He's got to be like a 70-year-old man at this point, right? Like in the 60s, he's, like, whatever he is. Like, he's made a shit ton of money.

So he's got a nice house out on Long Island there with, what's his wife's name again? Flo? Sure. But again, like, you know, like, you mentioned the Jay Leno of sports talk radio. Like, there's a certain amount of that, but there's also a certain amount of like, if if you're FAN management, how do you, how do you possibly, How do you possibly like look any of the talent in the face and be like, yeah, we've got your back. I know.

You know? Like this time slot went to one guy for like three decades. You got to give some people time to come to it. Three months. I feel like for any show, like any new show whatsoever in the sports genre, you got to give. You got to give it time. You got not only have to give a time, but like here's the thing. If you've got Bart Scott on your show and you don't allow that show at least a football season.

Yeah. Like what the fuck are you doing? Like no one's listening to Bart Scott for like his takes on fucking Matt Harvey. You listen to Bart Scott for his takes and the Giants and the Jets. So the closer you get to football season, the more it's going to be relevant. Yeah.

You know? It's pretty obvious stuff. But if you feel like your station's going to go out of business, like I want to know what dollar amount it took. Like what was the dollar amount where Francesca was like, don't talk to me until you get to four. Right. Four and a half.

Right. Or what the, all right, here, take it. But as I said on Twitter, like the reality of it is is that. Chris Rousseau got a job. He did.

The reality of it is is that Mike Francesa looked into podcasting. Probably saw the number. and then also saw that he'd have to do ZipRecruiter ads. Before we get back to the Al-Alabukki conversation, I just want to talk to you a little bit about health IQ. I love to wake up in the morning and walk with Flo. I forget his name. His wife has like a good New York accent name.

I forget what it is, but he says it all the time on the show. So, you know, you get out there, you get healthy and, uh, what is this? Health IQ? Is this real? What is this? I'll help you out, Mikey. ZipRecruiter.com. if you've got to find a zipper for your pants

go to ZipRecruiter they're going to find that zipper for your Ligity Split Wait what Okay ZipRecuter.com will find someone to sing Zippity Dood for you

for your child's birthday if they're a huge fan of the Disney's song in the South I mean what? Great, okay ZipRecruiter Dog Dog, I remember Disney

1944 watching that Donald Duck there in his towel. Shaking his tail feathers. Enormously talented duck. Speaking of enormously talented ducks, if you want to go see the ducks play hockey, see geeks the only way to do it. I can't think of an enormously talented Oregon duck.

Who's an Oregon duck? Marcus Mariotta. Oh, there you go. Thank you. Oh, shit. That was what I should have gone. The only person I could think of was Gary Payton, but he, Peyton, but he went to Oregon State. Is that true?

Yeah. I get my Oregon, Oregon State guys. Yeah. He was a beaver. Stephen Jackson was an Oregon State guy. He's beavers and ducks. Yeah. Mortal enemies in the wild.

Mortal enemies inside the boundaries of Oregon State. Beavers. Ducks. Next. Beaver! Oh my. Chew and what? You won't want a duck out of this one.

A nice beaver coming up next on NBC. Boop. What did we do? What did we do in life to deserve? having Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire on certain broadcasts. Pierre is on a broadcast today the entire first round. You can't get away. He's between Boston and Toronto and Pittsburgh and Philly.

Just every other day he's there. I wrote a story about the Minnesota Wilds GM opening and included Pierre McGuire in it and that also got picked up by the athletics somehow that he might be up for the job. But no one understands that when I put Pierre's name in these stories about GM openings, it's just because I don't want him to be on TV anymore. I don't even know if he even has met fucking Craig Leopold. I don't even give a shit. His names in the story to maybe

Craig Leopold looks at and he's like, oh, that's a really good idea. I should totally hire Pierre McGuire and then he won't be on my TV anymore. That's the whole point of it. We have to get like political writers did the same thing whenever there's like a cabinet opening or something position opening.

Hey, how about Pierre for director of Homeland Security? My whole bit is that I'm hoping that I'm like Fox News to like Craig Leopold in Minnesota where like he's watching, he's reading the ESPN and he's like, he's like, he's like, Pam McGuayev, he's going to be great as my new general manager. sad

I wouldn't mind like I hate Pierre but I don't understand why we need a third person in the booth ever You mean third person He's not he's between the He's behind the glass

Or whatever the fuck Inside the bench He's in the zone of Doc and Mike These guys are really talking on the bench Yeah they're human beings Sitting in close proximity to each other And their teammates

It's not a surprise That they're fucking talking Pierre I was talking to somebody The other day Who was a bashed Pierre McGuire hater. Okay. So who's in

any living any living that you encounter anywhere? It was the Dalai Lama. No. It was somebody who's in the industry

who fucking hates Pierre. And he told me there was a situation once in a game where it was like two minutes left. The game was absolutely brutal.

Fucking awesome game like tie score, tightly played playoff game. Two guys collide in this massive body check that sends the crowd into hysterics. And it's like,

the culmination of all of the emotion of the game. It's a perfect moment. You could hear Doc Emmerich's voice being like, and he gets nailed at Santa Ice with a huge hit. The bells go off and go crazy. And the guy told me that like

as soon as Emmerich gets done with this incredible call about this massive hit and the crowd's going berserk, you hear all of a sudden Doc and Eddie, the best part about that hit is that they have the same trainer. you're like, no, come on.

Now I'm going to go look that up on Twitter to find that. I want to find all the keywords. So that was the thing. Hit, hit, I'm going to search. Hit Pierre and training. Yeah, that's why, I mean, listen, I, there's only been one job that Pierre has been close to getting, and that was the Penguins job before they hired Rutherford. I've lobbied for him to get the Ottawa Senator's jobs.

I now lobbied for him to get the Minnesota Wild job. It is, when you read it that in a story, it is not from any point of, inside information or anything other than my unending desire to shake it to shut the fuck up and get him off my television. It's a public service you're doing. But again, like, see, the difference with you and I is that I just want him out of the

benches. I've long said that I think he'd be perfect for the intermission show. Eddie O's been good. I like Eddie O. On the intermission show? In the booth. Or in the studio. Yeah, he's been really good because he's not Roanick or Millbury. He's not perfect. Like, he made some point about like a breakout pass that proved

that one team wasn't nervous or something. It was kind of But, like, for the most part, like, he's, he's way better. His observations are better than anybody else. I think Pierre, like, not being over-excited and a share of constant trivia in an intermission show would be great. I just don't like him in that role. And, unfortunately, NBC loves him in that role because they feel like he invented that role. And they helped him invent that role. Like, that's one of the reasons why they, they've done this for years is because they like them and they believe that they invented the in-between-between-bentches thing.

And they keep him out there. They kind of invented it. Nobody was doing it before they were. It's a good idea for sure, but like, what matters is what you're reporting on when you're down there. Benj is communicating. I don't care. Yeah, I believe it was a very wise man. It once said, just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should.

You didn't think. No, it's if you, when you considered, no, if you could, wait, are we talking about the movie with Eddie Murphy where he's... No, you're talking about Jurassic Park. Oh, I thought we're doing the movie where he works for the home shopping network. Are you talking about Holy Man? Holy Man. Holy shit. It's been on like non-stop.

I've been on here. Any movie I reference on here has been on HBO nonstop the week before I came in here. Holy Man's been on Kelly Preston. I love Kelly Preston. She's great. HBO is like your Fox News. He came in ranting about Wonderlanding that one day. What's the deal with this Jim Belushi K9Nine sequel that's always on called K911? Who greenlit that? Am I right, people? That has been on a lot lately too. K911? It's called K911. But it could also be K92. Oh, holy shit But like I thought K911 was the original K9 I just forgot, but no, they made a sequel to that.

No, they made a sequel to the nice guys. No sequel to a movie where Jim Belushi's got a dog. Yeah, unfortunately, the dog didn't die like in Turner and Hooch. Could be a sequel. Spoiler. Could be a sequel to that. I think Hooch died. Well, Hooch dies, but his girlfriend has a bunch of kids or whatever.

Wait. Remember there's like a bunch of puppies at the end? Wait, whose girlfriend? Tom Hanks's girlfriend has pup, what? No, Turner. Ternard. Huch is, another dog has puppies. Houch?

Tom Hanks hooks up with the veterinarian lady. She's got like a little fruppy dog and hooch is all like sloppy and whatever. But they find love, they have sex, they have kids. And after he dies. The dogs do. Dogs. I think in the humans. And the humans do as well.

The dogs are much like their owners. Now which of those dogs is voiced by Danny DeVito? Um. Well, no, he voices a cat in last action. hero. So, look who's talking franchise said, all right. Bruce Willis has a sassy baby, money in the bank. What are we going to do for the next

one? Give him a sister, voiced by Roseanne Barr. Great idea. Was that the sequel? Huge. Look who's talking, two. Great idea. Awesome idea. Like, now there's a little girl that has a sassy voice. What do we do for the third one? Should we have another baby? No, let's

have talking animals. That was the thing. Remember that? It was Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito. It was like, two dogs, along with talking babies. Those sequels, because like those sequels mess me up because it's like two, but it's like also two. Like, oh, should we do a fourth one? Yeah, why not?

Yeah, it's Hugh Grant as a fork. We're just going to have now talking, talking everything. Please don't choose me to stick me in this, in this, in this, in this, in this, in this, in this, in this pudding here. Wow. That was good. That was good. Oh, right. I just, I don't, you know, it's.

is too hot. Keep me in the drawer. Keep me in the drawer, is what I'm saying. Oh, it looks like I'm spooning. And the spoon's voice is like Elizabeth Hurley. And she's like, oh, get wrong out of here. And Robbie Coltrane is a knife. Slice it up, I will.

Well, no. Harry. Robbie Coltrane's fat, so they were making like a ladle. Right. That's how they cast stuff. So we need somebody who's tall. Right. I mean, I mean, Stephen Merchant doesn't fit the timeline, though.

He's too, I mean, he fits the, oh, Richard E. Grant would be the perfect knife. You'd be the knife. And like a mop would have like a yellow stuff. So they have to get like a blonde lady to play the mop's voice. Be like, um, uh, he was a blonde short hair blonde lady. Scarlett Johansson. No, she's not blonde. Like, uh, Lori Petty at the time would be somebody that would be like.

Oh, these have to be like 90s. It has to be time. The fourth look who's talking film would have put us. to maybe like 90 what like 94 96 somewhere like maybe a little bit sooner than that oh it could be the the right fielder in a league of her own we can at the cutoff man what's her name is that lorry petty no she's the pitcher okay obviously obviously god kick Keller well she was you know a league of their own way she was she was she's been in a million things but she was like the sidekick lady on monk her she's got the blonde hair she could be the talking about right the

sidekick lady on monk um totally Lori petty who would be the microwave Vinnie Johnson, the microwave. He'd be like, hey, I'm the microwave. That's some amazing stunt casting. I don't think he has a distinct voice, but the whole time you just be like, hey, I'm the microwave. And then Eddie Isard does the olive spoon.

It's really snotty, kind of like, because all you wankas, you're all very common, and I'm the olive spoon. Good stuff. So a British cast, Look who's talking sequel, where it's kitchen utensils. And it's all, you know where it's set.

Where? Lichester City. Home of the fighting Lichester. The Vegas Golden Knights and the San Jose Sharks are going to play in a series, and you are picking the... Oh, shit, have you not made a pick in this series? I mean, I have, but... I'm picking the sharks in six. I...

I'm for two reasons. One... You're jumping off the bandwagon. I am. But again, like, no matter what happens, it's fine. Because if Vegas loses, then I'm smart, and if Vegas wins, then I'm going to fucking Vegas for the conference final. Here's the thing.

I've been saying for months that I thought Vegas was going to win the first round. You know this. I've said this in this podcast before. More and more people are saying. Many people are saying. I've always said that in the second round it's going to get way too real.

They're going to be 12 wins away from winning a cup. And now it's going to be in their heads. The house money's all dried up. Now they're thinking about it. Now fucking James Neal's like, I might get another crack at this kind of thing. And then he'll start a thing. So I'm...

But if all the teams, to have it be too much for against San Jose is going to be the one that overcomes it? San Jose is on the other reason I'm picking them. I feel like they're what people thought Vegas was in the first round. Like the veteran team that's been there before that's going to be able to

shut down the Marshalil line and all that other shit. I feel like they're going to be they're just going to be able to eke it out. It's going to be a real tight series. And I also think that it's healthy. We talked about this previously. Like, I feel like it's healthy for Vegas to not win all this much this early.

Like, feel a little pain. It's going to make you a better fan if you feel a little pain right now if you're Vegas. So San Jose in 6 for the betterment of the Vegas Golden Knights franchise. Vegas in seven and overtime. With the game winning goal by Ryan Carpenter. The former shark. Is that his name, Ryan? I keep calling him Bobby because I'm old and that's the carpenter I go to.

Amanda Carpenter. Amanda Carpenter? Who's that? That was Bobby's daughter. They got left off the... Oh, I don't know. Anyways. So you say, okay, so the former shark,

who got, hooga, who was wavered over to the Vegas Golden Knights is going to score the winning goal. He ties it at the end of regulation and then Eric Halle wins it in overtime. Oh, I like Eric Hall as a call. You would win the Bucci overtime challenge, I think, if you picked Eric Hala in that. Well, this is the Lozo overly specific overtime. I'm telling you how to get to overtime first and then. So you don't want the tank top that Bucci gives you for winning the Bucci overtime challenge?

You're a man, it seems like a tank top or two. It's kind of weird that the guy who doesn't wear a shirt's giving away shirts. I recuse myself. Okay, so Starz and Six, and you say Vegas and Seven. Vegas plays Nashville, we both agree. So Vegas beats Nashville or the lose to? Nashville and two. That's where the pain comes.

That's where it happens. San Jose and Vegas is a really even matchup. Nashville and Winnipeg's a really even matchup, but Nashville and Vegas will be bad. So there you go. So there's your second round pre-examination. of you. Don't ever say that we don't talk about hockey in between conversations about

the mission of possible franchise and talking forks. Speaking of talking forks, you know what you use a fork for? Eating. You know how you eat? With food. You know what the best food is? Is this mansplaining what you're doing right now? The stuff that you get from Blue Apron.

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And it's just Arpon Basu. It's Blue Arpon and he just makes stuff for you. We'll send Arpin right to your place to make up some puttee. It's just a box. Yeah, it's just a box of uncooked fries and then packets of gravy. It's the blue apron in Canada. Blue Arpon. Yeah, he's in Montreal.

Blue Arpon. I didn't make that connection at first, but that is the funniest shit. Blue Appan, I'm called Appan. You have Putin. Oh, that's very good. I don't even know if that's for real. So Blue Apron delivers fresh non-GMO pre-portioned ingredients in step-by-step of recipes right to your door. That could be cooked in under 45 minutes or around 55 minutes if you don't have any nice skills like me.

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meals your first three meals free blue apron blue a pawn blue a better way to cook dot ca i love your i love your i love your screensaver on what i assume is your work computer it's just a bunch of ESPN people it's all a bunch of ESPN people and i don't know i don't know how the screensaver works because occasionally it'll be the promotional picture of me and emily back to back for the podcast And, like, people will see it and they'll, like, email me. I'm like, I just saw you on my screensaver. I'm like, oh, because everybody has it. Yeah, everybody has it.

Right? Yeah. That's great. Ever since I started working at ESPN, I've been extraordinarily careful about anything I've ever done on my work computer, by the way. Like, no porn at all, huh? I mean, no, not even, not even, not even, like, maxim. Like, I'm not even going anywhere near a site that would be like.

Maxum. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. I'm using all my home bomb making recipes are on my phone. Like, I just don't even, I'm not even messing around. That's one of my favorite parts of Ocean's 13 where Matt Damon's trying to talk everybody into letting him go after Ellen Barkin.

And he says something like, I read it in Maxim. And meanwhile, like Maxim hadn't been cool for like 15 years at that point. I feel like that script was kind of sitting around since like 99. Maxim still resurfaces in my like feed occasionally when it's like. It exists. It exists. The Super Troopers guys went to Maxim after they talked to us on Friday. They said we're going over to Maxim.

So it has to still be a thing. Remember how weird it was that cracked.com was like a huge website for a really long time and people went to it. And all I could remember about cracked was that it was the shitty version of Mad Magazine growing up. Oh. Remember that? I don't know if I ever went to the website. Yeah. But I remember.

Yeah. There would be like these, like, you'd find these, like, these stories that would, like, go viral. And it was like the 50, the 50 worst jokes in Eddie Murphy movies or whatever. And to be on crack.com. Right. It's like, wait a second. Right. It's like finding out that there's like an amazing go-bots movie.

It's like. Oh, my God. Speaking of that. Did you know that Dave Franco used to be on, like, apparently a season of Scrubs? I did not know that. Going through my channels this morning, it's like an episode of Scrubs, but like, John C. McGinley is in there, and I'm like, there's no one else around that I recognize. And, like, there's Dave Franco.

Did he replace Brath? Was he, like, the Brath? I think, yeah, I think it was all post, like, BRAF and all those people. But Turk was on the show still. So I don't know. But, yeah, I feel like I woke up and, like, saw, like, a parallel universe version of Scrubs where Dave Franco was the Zach Braff. I think, I think Dave Franco might have died on the episode yet.

At the end of the day, is Dave Franco going to be bigger than James Franco? Probably not. James Franco's already accomplished so much as an artist. Yeah. James Franco's already got an Oscar nomination. Dave Franco's, he's fine. He's fine. He'll get you where you want to go.

Yeah. He was good in, uh, in, uh, in, uh, neighbors. What, neighbors? Was he else in 21 Jump Street? Yeah, he was the drug dealing. He was a drug dealer. Yeah, he was really funny. Yeah.

Yeah, he's good. He's solid. Solid. You want him for the comedy, I think. Well, actually, I don't know. Yeah. Since we last did a show, The Calgary Flames announced that Bill Peters is officially their head coach.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. They are aiming to fix all their problems by hiring a guy who's never been in the playoffs. The sport, man. This sport. It's one thing where, like, you give Glenn Gulletson another chance after he'd been out for a while and it doesn't work out. Like, what is, again, I know everyone goes to the underlying numbers of Bill Peters, but Jesus. Like, what's the right? Like, you said on Twitter, like, it was pretty clear that Bill Peters had this thing lined up for a while.

The two greatest things about this press conference, one, Bill Peters and Brad True Living were wearing the same fucking outfit. Like, they were working in the same best buy. And nobody asked them about it. And no one asked them about it. Where is the Calgary media to ask why they're dressed the same? Somebody has to go, look, I know this is the most important thing, but did you guys plan the, you know, like you have to.

Like, someone has to raise their hand and do that. Yeah. Greg Washingi, Calgary Herald. Bill, are you trying to single white female, the general manager of your new team? Wait, we have reference like 41 movies from like 1997 today. Well, the thing is is that while you get all of your material for the show from HBO, I watch the Encore network. And Luke is talking now, single-of-female, all a very heavy rotation on encore. Silence of the Lambs has been on.

So Silence of the Lambs is still a really good movie. It's kind of old. But I realize something really dumb because that's been on nonstop. So Jody Foster plays this intuitive genius person in the FBI. Clary Starling. Right. They bring her out of the... the school or the training thing before she graduates.

The FBI Academy. The Academy. To work with this dangerous lunatic to find a serial killer. A doctor elector. She finds the killer. She does all this stuff pretty much on her own. Buffalo Bill. All the dudes are fucking up.

Bob. Buffalo Bill. Buffalo Bill. James. Yeah. And at the end of the movie, when he calls her from Cuba, when he's already getting escaped. I'm having an old friend for dinner.

Yes. She's standing there on the phone. It's her graduation party. That's right. He hangs up the phone. I know exactly what you're going to say. And for like 11 minutes, she goes, Dr. Lector. Dr. Lector.

He hangs up the phone. I think he just walks away from the phone, right? No, he puts it down. It's an old-timey 1990s phone where you hear the click. And she's this genius and can't figure out for an app. Right. Dr. Lector. Dr. Lector.

And like the camera's like panning away. It's falling away from her. She says it like four or five times. Like you idiot, he hung up. Go back to your party. I hate that part. Dr. Lector. But goddamn, that would be so good.

Dr. Lector. The part two, where she first goes to visit him and like the guy throws the jizz on her. Mm-hmm. I didn't understand what happened in that scene until I was like older because I didn't understand what happened. That multiple migs threw his come on her. He threw, no one's that accurate.

Eli Manning can't throw a football seven yards. This guy's throwing jizz through prison cell bars from 50 feet away. Are you saying no one's that accurate if he just like jizzed on? Like that's what I thought he did for the longest time. I was like, wow. Wait, so he put it in his hand and curled it. I know. I know that. Yeah.

But that's, that's as ridiculous as timing your orgasm for the moment she So he's just holding it, like waiting for her to walk by. And then he throws it perfectly. Perfect. There's no way. I just like that at some point in your life, you thought it was like he had a, like his dick was a T-shirt cannon. He just timed it. That's what I thought.

I was like 13 when that movie came out. Like I wasn't really well versed in the world of what you do with your jizz. This guy, this guy caught it and then held it and waited and then hit her. Like he's at the fucking ESPN quarterback academy. It's impossible. It's an impossible. shot cut to a 13 year old Dave Lozo with a target on his wall that has

Jody Foster's face on it trying to figure out if he could make the angles work like how does he what if he's not ready to finish yet how does he wait but how did and then like someone's like oh well in the book and then still I was like but wait the thing I always wonder is like the first time I ever saw that movie did I know that

that Lector was wearing that cop's face because now when you see it it's pretty obvious that it's like Anthony Hopkins with bush on his face but like when I first saw it Was it a big surprise when he, you know, sits up in the, in the ambulance like The Undertaker and takes off his face and it's him? I don't know if I got fooled by that or not. I think I probably did. Yeah.

But the only other thing in that movie that completely fucks me up along with the Darker Lecter part at the end was Chris Isaac. Chris Isaac showing up as an FBI agent in that one scene. You're just like, oh, Chris Isaac's totally here. Chris Isaac went from like Silence of the Lambs to an episode of Friends all in like two weeks when they were trying to make him an actor. And you're just looking at it and you're just like, By the way, I don't know what police protocol is, but if there's an unconscious man on an elevator, is protocol to shoot him in the leg to make sure he's not dead? When you think it's Hannibal Lecter, it is.

Yeah, but he's, he's motionless on top of an elevator. You probably can't shoot a guy. That's probably a violation of civil liberties. I think your, I think your dogs hurt real bad, mister. God, that movie's the best. Oh, the other, okay, the other ridiculous thing about Bill Peters press conference was, as I mentioned on Twitter, he it wasn't that he was familiar with the flames roster it's that he knew everybody's nickname and like all the players like literally he did he did a a six minute soliloquy when she talked about every player on the roster intimately you know it's like he's been ready since march right he's just like you know he's like yeah you know i think we got a real strong defense geo of course leading the way his three kids his dog the dog scraps uh really like what he did i like that window treatment he put into his rec room the other day. It was pretty good. I mean, better than what he had a few months ago. But

anyways. Not all people know this, but Dougie Hamilton's wife, Carol, she makes an unbelievable lasagna that I've had more than one occasion. She puts some sort of like sun-dried tomatoes in there that really adds flavor to it. And I think you'd be really good there on the second pair for us. Yeah, you know, I've got to be honest to you. Like, I've been really paying attention mostly to the Carolina Hurricanes for the last few months. But I just want to give a shout out to T.J. Brody's nephew for winning that big softball game either day. I know we're We're all waiting to see if they were going to go stayed or not. Yeah, and thoughts and prayers to Michael Backlin's daughter, whose hamster died a week

and a half ago, and they had to bury that hamster. And they haven't told the daughter yet what really happened. They told her that it. But don't anyone tell her that. But anyway, like I was saying, I mean, Johnny Goodrow really reminds me of Jeff Skinner. Yeah, Jeff Skinner, whatever his name was. I'm pretty sure I could really, really suck the life out of Johnny Godro here once I get here and make him not as good as he could be. I just want to say that as Calgary Flames coach, I promise to continue the tradition here in Calgary of just being good enough to not be good.

I want to say that I perfected the art in Carolina. Like at no point, will we be better than 14th or worse than 24th? That's what I guarantee to you. I'm kind of torn because I want Calgary to be good because I like Goodro and I like Monaghan. And like I feel like that's kind of a fun team to be good. But I also want to be completely right about Bill Peters being a mediocre. coach. Oh, yeah.

That's fine. And I'm torn because... I'm doubling down, basically. Right. Because if he does well, then it's like, oh, it really was Carolina's fucking goaltending the whole time. And all the underlying analytics were like, he is a good coach. But if he doesn't do well, he gets fired in like two years, he does like the Kirk

Mueller special. He's fucking fired in two years. And it's like, oh, of course we were all right. Who has more talent? Would you say Calgary or Carolina has more? Calgary has more talent. I don't think it's by a lot, though. It's weird.

They have more top end talent. They're kind of, yeah, they have better top end talent. I think the D is probably a wash, even though the bigger names are on Calgary. Like, their big D are getting old. The big D are getting old. The big D are getting old, little saggy. Getting harder to get up for all, yeah. You know, tough for a D that old to get up for 82 times.

It's a lot. It's a lot to ask. But yeah, overall, I would say that, you know, Calgary's, the top end talent is better. Yeah, yeah. Just amazing to me how there's just a rush to grab Bill. Again, Bill Peters looks like a coach. So you have to get him. You're right.

It's a Todd McClellan thing. It's everything else. Looks like a coach. And he's going to get probably like three years to do his thing there. You would imagine. Who's the goal he going to be? Probably Mike Smith next year. They've got some players in the system that they're kind of looking forward to maybe

blossoming into being the goal thinner. Like Mike Smith is clearly like the stop gap. Yeah. Like that's the thing is like there's still plausible than liability. Like if Mike Smith's bad next year, he can be like, well, he's getting old. Yeah, exactly. On the other hand, though, I believe at last check during the Western Conference

so there will be no fucking guarantees that the team they're ever going to make the playoffs as Bill Peters as the coach anyway They're in the shittier division So that's where you want to be That somebody told me the other day Like one of the reasons that Chuck Fletcher got Got fired

Or not renewed or whatever you're going to call it Was the fact that like Leopold was looking around and being like Fuck man Like the predators are great and young And the Jets are great and young And Connor's not going to be on a shitty team In theory and perpetuity

Like we make the playoffs all the time but we're crazy old. Yeah. The time was right. That's, that was the, like, they didn't wait too long. They didn't let it hang out for, yeah, they were just like, hey, you know, all our top end guys are old and we need to start over again. Before we get to the question in the week, let's talk about Venom.

You saw the trailer as I did. Did you see the Venom trailer? I did not. Nah, it don't worry about it. You don't miss it anything. It looks like the best, like someone said, as everybody's made the same joke, the best Marvel movie of 1996. I don't get the plot.

I thought Venom was a bad guy. I thought Venom was evil. In the comics over time, he's become kind of an anti-hero Because he's super... Like, anytime a character is super popular, like the Punisher or whatever, like they'd become an anti-hero. But the Punisher was always like killing bad people, wasn't he? Yeah, but he was at first, he was a vigilante that had to be controlled by heroes, like Daredevil and Spider-Man and stuff. So here's the thing.

I'm very much looking forward to this movie because I kind of love the idea of the internal struggle of Tom Hardy who is blessed with these. amazing powers by this thing that also is nefarious and evil. It's kind of got an interesting take on the source material. And really, anytime you do the thing of like a guy discovering his amazing powers and being like, I can shoot black goo at people. Like, it's always kind of fun. Wait, that was actually what happened in Sounds of the Lams.

Right. Venom was in the prison and he was just, that would explain the accuracy. But we need to talk about the real issue with the Venom trailer. Which is Tom Hardy playing a journalist. He's way too physically fit in Anselm to be a journalist. I mean, maybe he's one of those journalists that covers like war zones. That would be my only thing. But he doesn't have an accent.

He's not, he's not, he's not, I'm Tom Hardy. Right. He's like, I'm New Yorker. I'm Tom Hardy. I work in the war zone and now I'm working the beat here trying to talk. Now I work about the tech industry. You're doing some nefarious things with this DNA, bada bing, bada, boom. It's Tom Hardy.

Classic. Marty and Venom. No, it's Jenny Slates. pronunciation of I missed that I saw you like in front of it yeah

I didn't I didn't realize she was in it Jenny Slate she's she's wait no wait Jenny Slate

is she the one who is in the movie with Chris Evans where the little girl's a genius yeah she's in this

movie too I don't love her I don't love Jenny Slate but I didn't I missed her mispronancing

that I was too caught up in the whole entire plot of the whole thing by the way this is a Marvel movie

right so are we going to eventually like come and bring these all back together

I saw a review for But it was really upsetting because according to the tweet about the review, it says it's an action pack movie, blah, blah, blah, that leaves a cliffhanger that's going to make you upset. Yeah, they really, it's funny. Wait, this is supposed to be the last movie. I'm not investing anymore after this. There's another one. There's another one after this.

But remember the whole thing where there was going to be an infinity war, parts one and two? And then the Russo Brothers was like, no, we're going to rename it just Infinity War. And then, and then it turns out, it was all a fucking clever. ruse, it's still a two-part movie, basically. Oh, so it is a two-part. Yeah, it is kind of. I mean, there's a clip hanger for the most part. Oh, I thought they were going to kill four people and then bring out

Avengers and the next one. Our name at Bar Trivia last night, by the way, we came in fifth. It was disappointing. Our name was spoiler colon, Iron Man dies. The name is the fourth time she, the first time quiz master said it, someone at the table next post was like, that's fucked up. It was like mission accomplished. All right, so the draft lottery is this weekend.

the NHL as you know. The question of the week here on Puck Soup is which team is the most deserving and which team is the least deserving of the top pick in the draft to we assume draft Rasmusdalene. And ping pong Bundy, holy shit, what a great name that is.

Least deserving Buffalo, most deserving Edmonton so I can hear Wish as Edmonton Bain saying to Buffalo. You think the draft lottery and final standings are your ally? I was born of the draft lottery. I was born in the ping pong balls. I like that a lot.

Andy Keynes writes in, Most deserving the flames, because if you're dumb enough to trade an unprotected pick these days, you should be punished for it. So they're saying the Islanders, by virtue of that. That's a great point.

Lees deserving the flames because it would make me weep loudly in public, and that's not a good look for a large, hairy man. I don't know. I feel like the more sensitive we are in this day and age, the better it is for all humanity.

Yes, I agree. Adam Brandt writes in As long as the goddamn oilers don't win the lottery I'm relatively cool with anyone else winning I'm kind of there with you my friend See I want the Oilers to win it because it'll be funny Burn it burn the brunt burn some men won't watch the well But I found a ping pong ball

As big as a grapefruit And it had an eminent earlors logo on it What did you do? How did you stop them? Oh, we burn the draft lottery That's right This city just so due that it could have all the number one picks at once. I'm not wearing oilers pads. Mike says Buffalo, most deserving, because come on, it's Buffalo.

Chicago is least deserving, although them winning might cause the longest lozo's sigh ever. So I'm semi-ruding for it. That'd be pretty accurate. Yeah. I want the thing that's going to either make me or other people the angry. So Chicago and Edmonton, for sure. Aunt Chalupa writes in, if the Oilers win again, my theory that we all actually died last election day will be proven true because it means we're all in hell.

It does feel like it, man. Vegas is winning playoff series. Nothing makes sense anymore. Clayton Anderson writes in, the Oilers are the least deserving and the Sabres the most, but it's a win-win when it goes to the Oilers. Shear Ellie could flip the first overall for a hard-to-play against forward like Ryan O'Reilly. Sent it to Florida for like their rights to Dave Boland. Rogue Run writes in, Sabres are most deserving.

A lot of people say the Sabres because they make things, and rivalries better for their division. Hands down the Oilers are least deserving. They are the black hole of NHL where stars go to never be seen by American viewers ever again. Very good point. Ryan writes in, least Edmonton most, St. Louis, to make up

for having to take Eric Johnson between years that had Crosby and Kane. That's a really good one, too. Yeah, that is pretty bad. Here's a good one. Carl Etheridge, Dallas, no draft luck in so long, then we take the pick and trade it to Edmonton who inevitably overpays dramatically while everybody else screams incoherently.

It works out for everyone, though, because somehow Edmonton manages to ruin Deline and we all laugh and laugh. Don Johnson's nostril. Sure. That's got out of some holes in it. Canadian's most deserving because the hockey gods sought to punish Sam Pollock for figuring out how to actually draft players well before everyone else. So the gods said, sure, have another first overall. I hear that Wickenhizer kid is real good, and we still suck 38 years later. Wow.

That's a story. It certainly was. It's a yarn. Finally, Sean writes in, most deserving are Buffalo or Arizona. Neither have done anything to actively shoot themselves in the foot while trying to rebuild, like trading hall for Larson or thinking that DeKaiser as a top 4D. Least is Ottawa because Melnick is a shithead and doesn't deserve to be rewarded for it. Yeah, I'm with that. That's my assessment too.

Buffalo or Arizona gets it great. Ottawa, no. My assessment is, at least is Ottawa. I would take Edmonton over Ottawa. Me too. Yeah. Only because I love Connor, contrary to popular belief. Puck soup.

And I want the only good things for him. And my most deserving is, well, my most deserving is Detroit, just to give them some focus as a franchise. But the real answer is Chicago, just to see, again, to watch the world burn. Some men just want to watch the world. Go to original six teams. All right. That's Puck Soup for this week. You can find me on ESPN.

All my writings there. Thursday will be the beginning of our Caps, Penguins coverage. On the site right now, it came out today as we do the podcast, the 10 lowest moments in the Capitals playoff history against the Penguins. See, you're just mean. When did I become the positive Capitals person and you became the negative Capitals person? When did this like vice versa thing happen? All feeding into the Switcheroo that is apparently going to happen where the Caps beat the Penguins in

five, was it? Or six. Okay. Five or six. You can find me at Wishingski on Twitter. You can listen to my. other podcast, ESPN and ICE. We added a long interview with Tom Dun Dunn this week that a lot of people have checked

out and we do appreciate that. Oh, we didn't thank everybody for the love that you gave the Super Troopers episode of this podcast. The puckstube bump once again. $15 million. Yep. The boys will be able to probably make weed. Weed fest.

Pot fest. Pot fest. You said the wrong one and they corrected you. It's pot. Yeah. But I think they need to do some damage against the Infinity War stuff this weekend still. but we are closer than ever to having Das Bang

in the Weed Fest sequel and yeah what do you have to say for yourself? I'm going to go take a pee far as much times there it is and the world is back on its access. There we go.

Thanks everybody. We'll talk to you next week. Please do check out Look who's talking as well featuring Richard E. Grant as the knife. Thanks to everybody. Sticks and lids and go and saves and slap shots and goons.

We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Netsons. Book two.