Puck Soup - Charlotte Wilder Returns

Episode Date: February 9, 2018

Greg and Dave welcome back SB Nation's Charlotte Wilder, fresh off her trip to the Super Bowl and the aquarium with Zach Parise. We discuss the the chaos of a big event, the Eagles parade, Tom Brady's cartoon crocodile, Snapple, their favorite Olympic sports and the heroes of curling and have a in-depth discussion about homerism in the sports media. Plus, we debate the Vegas Golden Knights' deadline plans, the NY Rangers' rebuild, the Alex Burrows suspension, "Patrik Laine" on his Players Tribune article and the cities we most want to see a championship parade take place in. Sponsored by HealthIQ, Seat Geek and Blue Apron!

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by Health IQ, which believes the best way to improve the health of the world is to celebrate the health conscious through social and financial rewards. So they use science and data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health conscious people, including runners like Dave Lozo, cyclists like Dave Lozo, strength trainers like Dave Lozo, and vegans like none of us. Vegans. Vegans. To see if you qualify. Get your free quote today at Health IQ. dot com slash soup s oup or mention the promo code soup when you talk to a health IQ agent that's health IQ.com slash soup to get your free quote and see if you can secure a lower rate on life insurance because you are a healthy person in all walks of life all walks well I mean not all walks I

imagine it being Girl Scout cookies season that maybe you've snuck a few tag alongs or Samoa's here and there or a box like I have in which one's The coconut ones? I hate the coconut ones. Those are the Samoas. Yeah. You don't like those? Thin mince, baby.

Thin mince are really good. Keep them in the freezer, right? No. Why not? Because I'm 40, man. My teeth are going to fall if I keep chewing on frozen pieces of chocolate, man. My dad's the one who, who, who whysed me up to the idea of putting, like, chocolate in the freezer.

He used to put, like, that's insane. He used to put thin mince in the freezer, and he also would put Milky Ways in the freezer. And that's the one. Yeah, I mean, like, they taste really good, but, like, at the same time, that's the that's the toothbreaker. Yeah. You ever bite into a butterfinger that's been frozen?

It's like chewing on a pipe. I've never had a butter finger that's frozen. It ruins the candy bar. It's like putting tomato on a sandwich. Ruins the sandwich. Tomato. How do you know, like juicy, sweet, delicious tomato? It's good for you?

That's the fucking worst. Man. By the way, I was at the Ranger Brewing game this week and they had the giant bowl of candy yet again. So I loaded up on butterfingers. And then there was a reporter from Boston that was there. And she's like, is there any place to get some water in here? I'm like, yeah, yeah, you go to this room. that's right by the elevator, you go inside, get some water, you can get some coffee

if you want. She's like, okay, cool. Like, also there's like a big bowl of candy. She's like, ah, I don't like candy too much. I'm like, all right, but like they have miniature butterfingers. She goes, butterfingers? Wait, did she like not classify a butterfinger as candy? I think she probably thought it was like, I don't know what you thought.

Like, I say a big bowl of candy. Maybe she thinks it's like you're at your great aunt's house and it's like that chalk candy or the weird wrapped up suckers that they have that aren't butterscotch, but they're kind of fruit maybe a little bit. Oh, I know what are you talking about? Yeah. Those are good. But I said Butterfinger bars and it was like, kid in the candy store. Literally. I would never have the butter fingers. I'd always want to go with the candy that's more like breath neutral. You know, like no peanut butter. Just get like a little milky way in there.

Perhaps I was able to tell in the back of my mind that I was in for a hell of a ride that night when the Bruins pointed the game away roughly five minutes into the second period. So load up on Butterfingers, Chief, you're going to need them. The best was like the Rangers score first in that game and everyone's tweeting, Rick Nash is exactly what teams do you need, Rick Nash. And then like four minutes later, it's like five to one. Rick Nash hasn't done anything since. We should mention the Patreon is still rolling. Thank you. Everybody who's signed up.

We have gotten a bunch of new subscriptions in the last week, probably because we released the new top 10 list we did on the best jerseys of all time. Oh, right. People are mad at me about that. Yeah, they did not like your opinion. You said to think about the Minnesota Wilde that did not sit well. The Minnesota Wild logo with the trees and the moon or the sun, whichever one it is, who cares. It's a bad logo.

It's a terrible. The point of a lot of the world. logo should just be that it looks cool. Like the Team North America hat you're wearing. Like there's no like, you know, oh, this represents the wild call of the, like, no, it's just two interlocking letters that look cool. That's all you need, it's like a T, but it's in the sun and the sun makes the end. Right. And like the

wolf is howling here because the wolf represents the wolf-like nature of a, ah, just fucking make, give me like a cool M.W and you're all set. You know who has a wolf-like nature? The old podcast. Mark Wahlberg. Guess what he's in. Daddy's home too. That's right. Jesus. More daddies, more mayhem, as Puck Soup is also bought to you by Daddy's Home 2.

The hilarious film starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg and John Lifgow and Mel Gibson. Yeah, I'm not calling it the film. Critics are calling The Perfect Family Comedy on Fandango. Now, two weeks before Blu-ray. Daddy's Home 2 rated PG-13 from Paramount Pictures. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got. Sportly commentary to what if you commute.

We also cover movies, TV shows, it's in tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nonsense. Bork to. I'm Dave. Dave Lozo of the Internet. And that's my intro part. I'm Greg Wysinski of ESPN. Why do you rush it?

You got to let it simmer. and then do it. Simmer like a puck soup, which is what you're in right now. Like a nice bisque. We both, I will say this. Oh, that was loud. I'll say this, we both had really strong Twitter days today.

You did a fake press release on the... No, I had a tweet that I did, and then I looked away for two hours, and I came back, and it had like 700 likes. It was a tweet where I said, there's a naked guy at the Eagles parade. Oh, right. And he's covered in cream cheese.

And he said that because the, Eagles covered the spread. He covered it. The spread now covers him. People believed it. And then I went and like, I watched for an hour and 20 minutes the Cloverfield paradox and I came back to Twitter and saw like my mentions and I was like, oh, fuck, this can't be good. And mine was the fact that Alex Burroughs refused to talk to the media today. And I said that he was parsing out information on a knee to nose basis. I almost did that joke yesterday. Yeah, it's good thing you didn't. I thought about it. I thought about it. Yeah, need to know because he need a guy in the back of the head. We might as start with that. I mean, like, twice.

Ten games was about what I was expecting. Not necessarily with Bruce Garriac or Don Brennan or Ian Mendez. Hold on. You're telling me the local people that cover a team did not agree with the length of a suspension of a player they all talk to and cover on a daily basis. We talk about local

media biases later in the show, by the way, with Charlotte Wilder, our returning guest. Char. I, uh, you could have gone even longer. Dude, it was honestly, like, insane. There's one, it's one thing. It's one to say that if you're tangled with a guy on the ice. MMA is legal, so technically Alexborough

should have gotten zero games. This does qualify him to be a beat writer in Denver. It's one thing if you're on the ice and a scrum, and like weird shit happens, and he took his leg and he dropped the knee into the guy twice, like he was you know, Rick Flair is setting up somebody for a figure four. That happened to Taylor

Hall. It reminds me in a devil's game where he got hit really hard, or he hit somebody really hard, and then everyone went behind the net to fuck him up, and there was a guy on the ground unconscious, and then everybody piled down to that guy and he got kicked in the head while he was down. But, you know, that's a different thing. And there was also a situation a few years back where James Neal

need Brad Marchand in the head as he was like doing a drive-by basically and he got five games for it. But this was like the most, remember to bring up James Neal again? Remember when James Neal went bat shit in that Flyers, uh, Penguin series? And he just started chasing around people to beat the shit out of them. And like anybody who he could hit, he was going to hit. And he got like a one-game suspension because the NHL's like, quiet time. Take a knee, bud.

Take a knee. Oh. Yes. That's what Burroughs was doing, man. Like, Burroughs was chasing fucking Taylor Hall around the ice. And he punches him as they're standing next to each other. And then the play ends. And then he bulldogs them down to the ice and starts punching his head on the ice.

All because he got checked. Right. And then the linesmen jump in. They're like, hey, break it up, boys. And Burroughs is like, not until I dropped the knee a couple times. Wait, wait. Wait, the linesmen are 1940s cops in New York. Break it up, boys.

Break it up, boys. You don't ever get me, linesmen. And then he dropped to the end and said twice. For like, 10 games was fucking gracious based on what he did on that play. And based on the fact he's been suspended once and fined five times. No, no, no. I read some stuff. I saw some tweets where it was like, well, James Neal only got the five.

I hate the sport. I hate everything about it. I do. I hate the fact that today breaking news, the Cleveland Cavaliers have traded Dwayne Wade. And you're like, wow, that's amazing. A team that's out of it and knows it's out of it is now giving up and trading a big name player. This just in. The Niners have signed Jimmy Garoppolo to a long-term deal. Oh, my, wow, that's smart because they need a quarterback. They got their quarterback.

Breaking news, Brendan Smith has been waived. What? That's it? Brendan Smith got waived on his birthday by the Rangers. Rick Nash hasn't been traded yet. Michael Grabner has been traded yet. Ryan McDonough and Matt Zuccarello. No, but it's just, oh, Rangers, big news about, oh, what do they do? They waived the guy. They gave four years to. Now, they did release that letter, which we'll get to in a second, but I will say this about, like, I want. I want to be a ghost of Christmas future and go visit Brendan Smith next year.

And it'll be like, ooh, Bren. Last year. Ooh, Brendan Smith, you've signed a four-year contract. And the team gave up two draft picks for you. You must feel very secure. Actually, yeah, I really do. I'm looking forward to, you won't be here in less than a year on your birthday. They will release you.

Wait, okay. So hard for it. First of all, that's not how the ghost of Christmas future works. How does it work? He doesn't go back in time and lie to you about something that's going to happen. He takes you into the future to show you your future. future. I skipped over that.

But that was inferred. It was inferred that at some point he took him to the future and they're looking at his life and the future. It's all about lessons, right? Like, yeah, your ghost is being a dick to him. So my ghost is more like a time traveler of some sort. Like when the Flash came back and visited Batman and Dawn of Justice and no one knew what that scene was about.

It still doesn't. They never went back to it, right? I never really referenced in Justice League. And you bust my chops. You're thinking comic movies are bad. I can't figure out where I get it. The funny part about that was that. that the thing that he talked about actually played out in Justice League where he's like, the key to the whole thing is Lois Lane. And then Lois Lane ends up being the person who like stops Superman from like going berserk when he gets resurrected in Justice League's spoilers. Spoiler. Wait, he comes back to life. No. At no point, does Batman ever turn to the flash and be like, I knew this was going to happen because you came and visited me through my computer screen. Like, which to me would be like salient information. Buddy, I got some crazy to share with you. Why wouldn't he say the first time he meets him? Why wouldn't you

be like, hey, weren't you in a vision I had once? You look really familiar to me. No, you never met me before. Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure I did. You came through my computer screen. I told me Superman will go berserk. That doesn't sound like me. I really don't want to do this movie anymore.

Nothing makes sense. If there's been a 1% chance, this movie will make $200 million. We've got to take it as a 100% chance. I'll be back for the next one. Have you ever seen Argo? What? Argo. Oscar winning film.

Uh, the director wasn't nominated for best director inexplicably, but it won the Oscar. You know what's funny? If you put a gun in my head and said, because what is it? It's like Greta Gerwig isn't nominated, or she is? She is nominated.

There's someone who's not nominated for best director that has Best Picture. It was a fucking three billboards. That's a bad example. But like, honestly, I don't know what a director does. Truthfully. Like, if someone's like, what does the director do? I don't know.

Action. And then, to me, a director is like, I always saw a director Storyboards things Like, you know Here is the sequence Of the action scene And that kind of thing

And I always feel like the direct Like when George Lucas directed The Star Wars movies His direction was Um Faster That's what they say And it became a giant joke

And it was like No He wouldn't really tell anybody Anything about the movie It would just be Um Faster Speak faster

And that led to the great Harrison Fordland During Star Wars He was like George You know Something in effect of the deal, like, you can rate this shit, but you can't say it, or something like that. I also think, like, if you want to talk about what a director does, my favorite movie of the year is the Florida Project.

In that movie is an amazing child performance by this girl Brooklyn Prince. She's fantastic in it. Brooklyn Prince. Yep. Welcome to 2018. My friend's got a daughter named Brooklyn. She's older. She's like eight.

Brooklyn Decker is now probably in her mid-20s, right? Oh, she's probably older than that. That's a good point. Brooklyn Decker. So anyways, so, so the big debate about that movie is this little girl gives us amazing performance wasn't nominated for best actress. People were saying, well, she's a kid. She's just being a kid.

That's what kids do. But the director got this. If you don't believe that it's inherent in her that she was that good, then Sean Baker, the director got that performance out of her. Right, but how do you know? How do you know, like, how much of it is like Francis McDormand? You don't. Right.

So it's hard for me to be like, there's a definite correlation between two things. That was always my. thing about like, like, coaches in sports where we're just like, that guy's great. I don't know. He's good. He's in the locker room. The team's good. So I guess he's good. Yeah. Like, do we really know how good Paul Thomas Anderson is? Or does he just have the best goalie in the league and Daniel Day Lewis and all of his movies. Yeah. And like, and like Wes Anderson, same thing. He gets a bunch of actors that are really good at what they do and just throw some words out of it. That's why I always thought it was fascinating that like Robert Altman gets put over as one of the

best directors of all time. He had these casts of like 25 people and they're all fucking phenomenal. Like, oh, the players are a great movie. Kudos to Robert Altman. I'm like, Like, but you built it around Tim Robbins and he's great. I never saw that movie. Oh, it's great movie. What's it about? It's about Hollywood and murder and stuff. And actually, it's funny.

At the time, it was seen as a scathing satire. And much like network, I feel like now it's just like kind of told the future of what happened and shit. Have you seen the commercials or the trailers for that new Wes Anderson cartoon dog movie? Yeah, All of Dogs. See, that's a director right there. Like, that's a guy whose fingerprints and style is all over the movies that he does. I think that's the other thing, too, about directors. Like, Cohen Brothers, Wes Anderson, Spielberg.

But that's set design, you know? No, it's not set design. It's an aesthetic. It's the way people deliver lines. It's all of that stuff comes from the director's point of view. Zach Snyder's a fucking director. Like, you'll see a movie. It's a Zach Snyder movie.

Like if it's bad, I know it's... If it's bad and it has a lot of slow-mo and oversaturated colors, you know it's a Zach Snyder movie. Like JJ Abrams. It takes place in space and it's boring somehow. And has lens flare. You know it's JJ Abrams. You know it's J.J. Boy, you got to see the Clover Field Paradox.

I can't wait. You saw it and you said it. listen I don't care how shitty the movie is the audaciousness of like the makers of that of Paramount I guess it was who sold the movie to Netflix being like we've got a giant shitburger on our hands and Netflix is like

give it to us knife and fork on the table here's what you got to do though when you watch it record yourself watching the last three minutes of it because I want to see your natural reaction to the very at the very end before the credits roll I'll do that I burst out laughing

Those YouTube flicks videos always do really great. Like, I really like when people tape football games and then pretend that they're watching it live again and, like, throw themselves into the television because they're so upset. The Ringer posted a five-minute thing of, like, them all watching the game. Did you see that video? No, I didn't see that video. Yeah. Our friend Katie Baker's in it, and, like, she's got the dog and the kid in there, and they're just, like, oh. Speaking of Katie Baker.

The New York Rangers. Poor Katie Baker. The Rangers have released, as we do this show, hours ago, released a letter to their fans after the public national embarrassment that was their game against the ruins. It was actually two letters. You see that? It was F and you. As you know, since the 2005-06 season, we have been a highly competitive team. We have played 129 playoff games, one of the President's Trophy, bliggity, bligity, blah, blah. As we do every season, we have been continuously evaluating our team looking for areas that can be improved to enhance our chances of winning. We begin the process of reshaping our team this past summer. As we approach the trade deadline later this month and into the summer, we'll be focused on adding young competitive players that combine speed, skill, and character. This may mean

that we lose some familiar faces. Guys, we all care about and respect. While this is part of the game, it's never easy. Our promise to you is that our plans will be guided by our singular commitment, ensuring that we are building to the foundation to our next Stanley Cup contender. signed by Glenn Sather and Jeff Gorton president and general manager respectively

they're trading Lundquist they can't in the summer they can they can't do it now no they're not going to do it now but like I mean

they have to why would you release a letter like this if it's going to be like we're trading Zuccarello Ryan McDonough people love Ryan McDonough it could be that

it's Ryan McDonough this letter is just also like this letter is good in a way because you're being honest and direct and saying look here's the deal

we know we know what we are. We're being realistic. We're going to have to make some moves. But do you really want the guy who just gave Brandon Smith four years and $17 million and is now waiving him to be in charge of this? Like that's a little, like I saw that report where Bob McKenzie said that for Rick Nash, they want a first, a top prospect and then like a lower tier prospect. Now, look, I'm someone who believes that whenever you have to mortgage the future for a guy that hasn't cracked 40 points in three years and consistently fells in the playoffs and he's a rental, you have to. You have to go all in and get that guy. You have to mortgage your future for it. But as, as much as Jeff Gordon

wants to get that, he's not going to get that. You can probably get that for Ryan McDonough. You can probably get something nice for Matt Zuccarello. Michael Grabner has a shit ton of empty net goals. I hope, hopefully no GM looks too closely at that, but it's good. I think he's getting what he's asking for for Nash. I don't. I mean, you're going to have at least there's pedigree there. There's pedigree there. That are angling for him that really like him. Here's the thing is like his numbers are shitty, but he's still good. Yeah, for sure. But he's not first round top prospect.

He's not Matt Dushin good. He's not, but I mean, like, he's Martin Hansel good. Yeah, what does Martin Hansel do every time somebody fucking picks him? Right, but I think Nash and Dallas are like the match made in heaven. Hitch loves him. Nash loves Hitch. They have a need for a winger on the second line. Like, I think that's the perfect place for him.

Because also, no one will think, no one will look at him and be like, you know, you got to step up your game and be the man. because they've got, you know, fucking one of the best first lines in hockey. Like, I think that's a perfect landing spot for him. Quiet market, somewhat expectations, coach that trusts him,

coach he trusts. It's great. Ready? Ready? Go ahead. Vegas. Nashville. Nashville.

Nashville. Thank you. On the serious tip, though, do you think that Vegas should do anything because I don't? Like, why would you touch the chemistry in that room right now? Oh, fuck chemistry.

You need better players. What better players? They're fucking, they're a point off the league lead. William Carlson's shooting like 81%. So you're going to make moves based on the idea that there's going to suddenly be regression for a team that hasn't regress since fucking October? What do you mean? They're kind of in the middle of it right now. The middle of what?

The middle of being a point out from being the NHL's best team? What's their record the last 10 games? Oh, my God. You're right. They've not been winning at a fucking 700 or 800% clip. What do you think regression is? They're regressing. They're totally regressing.

What, though? You're saying regressing. Regressing to what? They're an expansion franchise. So then they should sell then, according to you, if you feel like that they... I just... What do you want them to do? I'm fascinated by this idea that a team that has achieved this much should be like, you know what? Oh, my God, it's all slipping away this season that we didn't expect to happen at all. We need to get Rick Nash. What do you mean slipping away? You said they're regressing. They're a contender, right? You're sitting here telling me, I don't understand anything you just said. I'm trying to figure out what you're saying. You're saying that they should make a move because of why.

So you're telling me... No, no, no. Answer my question. They should make a move because why? Well, you're over here telling me that they're a good team and all this. You said they shouldn't make a trade because of chemistry. I'm saying that that team right now, first line through four... You think this team's going to a Stanley Cup right now as it's built?

Yes. No, it can't. Come on. What do they need? Better players. Better players. Every team does at the trade deadline. What's a better player?

What do you put on that team? team that makes them better than being a point out from the NHL lead. Ryan McDonough. Ryan McDonough. Any good defensemen. I mean, they don't have the stuff to get these guys, but I mean, the idea that they should do nothing. They roll teams.

They should, oh, man. What? God. I'm trying to figure out, like, what is it that they've done and they accomplish and they are that you think would be improved by Ryan McDonough? And also, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold it. And what do you trade for Ryan McDonough? Off that roster or from the future?

A one? for a team that doesn't have a farm system? You've got to factor at that end too. They don't have a farm system. You're like, you're doing like the online argument thing where you're shuffling things around and changing the argument. I'm looking at the big picture. You're like, add Ryan McDonough, you get a better defenseman. Okay, well, then what is that portend for the rest of the team?

Who do you trade off the roster? Alex Tuck? Like, what do you do to get Ryan McDonough? How many straw men you got in the room right now? I'm waiting to hear it. I'm over here saying that they could use better fires. And you got me trading out. Well, yeah, well, what is Ryan McDonough?

What, it's George McFeebe? You're like, I'll fucking take him. And then the Rangers are like, here, we'll trade Zuckrella and McDonough for you. And you send us a bunch of t-shirts. So no rentals, no nothing. You think they should just stay exactly how they are. I think I would keep that pristine. What about Tampa?

Tampa shouldn't do anything either? No, Tampa is fine. You can get, yeah, it's something to Tampa. Why not? But Tampa's not playing with House money. Vegas is playing with House money. There's no reason to change that roster whatsoever. Everything's worked beyond expectation.

There's no reason to tweak. That makes no sense. Why? Because the expectations are low before the season. Now that they're a contender, they shouldn't do anything because of what people thought about them four or five months ago. Oh, come on. No, the expectations are for Tampa that you have a two-year window right now to win before you have to pay Vasleski and pay Kuturov and have to make some really interesting decisions with the rest of your roster. Vegas is not in that position.

So Vegas is just going to be good forever now because they were good their first year? No, I'm just saying that Vegas doesn't have to worry about a window to win. No one expect them to win this year. They didn't expect to win this year. But now look where they are. Again, who cares what they expect before the year? Look where they are now. But you've successfully waltzed around the idea of what you have to give up if you're Vegas to get Ryan McDonough.

What is it you give up? They don't have a prospect pool. Well, it doesn't have to be Ryan McDonough. It could be anybody who's available. They're an expansion team that doesn't want to give up a first rounder because they don't have a prospect pool. They certainly don't want to trade anything out of their top six for Ryan McDonough or a player of that ilk. What about anybody? You say you're telling me there's no one on the market.

who's going to be available to trade that line can make Vegas better. I don't know. Is there? Oh, my God. What? Vanik? In Vegas? That's probably not a good idea.

Avander Kane in Vegas? Thomas Vanek. Seriously, they put like a Vegas line together. They go out and they put Kane, Vanick, and who else is a... Maybe I have a bias because I've been there and I've been in that room and I've seen the way it works. Oh, you've seen the way it works. I just don't think that there's any reason to add. anything to that team this year. Let it roll. Let it roll

with what you got. Those players have earned the right to get better to try to win the cup together and not have some ringer come on for a few months. It's like hey, do you have a chip on your shoulder like we do because your team threw you away

at the expansion draft? No, I'm just here to earn a little bit of money and then go get more money some more else. I don't really care about any of this Vegas stuff. Wait, who's the Valley Girl on the team that you're talking about right now? It's probably I would have been Dustin Brown. Like, my God.

I don't know. I'm just saying, if you don't believe that team is good enough to win the cup, then just sell. Oh, who? The Golden Knights? Yeah. I think they are good enough to win the cup. As they're built right now. Absolutely.

They're one point off the NH. You don't think they're going to lose in the first round of the club? No. Oh, boy. I have all my advantage, first of all. I just don't understand, like, they've achieved this much, and you're like, but they really need to add this other thing. that will keep them from regressing or to win a playoff series that theoretically we don't even know what they look like in the playoffs.

It's an all-bets are-off team. We don't know what they are. I like you keep using Vegas terminology to describe them. All bets are off. They're all in right now. You think that they're the flop. They're not the flop. They're not going to flop. They're going all in.

They're hitting on 14. I just think if you feel like they can win the cup this year, then you have to do something to improve your roster going into the playoffs. What? why? This idea that you can't improve the Vegas roster when they just picked up all these guys in an expansion draft. Like, okay, you can add a defense defense, but again, like, the quality of defensemen that you're talking about, like a Mike Green or a Ryan McDonough is going to cost you futures. What do you think? What do you think Mike Green is going to cost? What do you think Mike Green is going to cost? What do you think Mike Green, based on the fact that there's no other defenseman available with an expiring contract, isn't going to get a one?

A one. You don't think Mike Green gets a first round pick? The trade deadline to you is very interesting. I feel What did Kevin Chattonkirk cost last year? Kevin Chattonkirk? Yeah. He didn't cost it first. He cost a legit prospect. He cost a second and a, well, it was that weird conditional pick.

I don't know what it ended up being. It was like if he had, if he pulled glam dring sword out of a rock, he would, he's a first. But if he lost the ring. Zach Sanford, a first round pick and a conditional future second round pick. So yeah, he did cost it first. Oh, they'd they cost it first. All right. Yeah, thank you very much.

Yeah, Mike Green's going to cost a first. I don't think so. I don't like when we fight, but I think you're so fucking wrong about this vagus thing that it kills me. But, like, I don't understand your logic of they were, no one thought they could do this. So now that they're here at this point, and this is the reality, they shouldn't do anything else. That's not simply the logic. The logic is they've achieved this much with the lineup that they have and allow this lineup to go as far as it can. So why not do that with every team that's really good during the regular season?

Well, because other, because like I said, like I said, other teams have different contextual issues. The Tampa Bay Lightning have to worry about winning in the next two years before they have to start jettisoning guys like Tyler Johnson from their roster to re-signed vasilleski and and kuturoff and then bring in eric carlson what's Vegas going to be in the next two years do you think they're going to be like a contender like they've got time they just this may be their window for like five to ten years they may may not be good again next year so you do what then you know bringing on a guy with with two years left on his deal three years left in his deal no i think you do nothing you're right do nothing i'm glad that you can't round to my way of thinking if you want to see

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Speaking of Wild, let's bet real quick. Well, go ahead. Mike Green. First round pick or no at the trade deadline. worth it, 10 bucks. I say no. I'll go 20 and I'll say yes. Okay, done. Now, hold on. I knew it. No, it occurred to me that there needs to be a caveat here. Okay. He has to actually be traded. You can't win this bet if he's not traded. Oh, okay. Yeah. If he's traded. That's a fair condition, right? You think I was really going to make you give me 20 bucks if the red wings held on to him for

some reason? Fucking Rumpel-Silskin over here. Every time I try to do a better of bargain with you, it's always come back to bite me on the ass. Wait, Rumpel's Stiltskin. Yeah, he, he, with the, the girl who, pricked her finger and the she have to say Charlotte Wilder is a writer for SB Nation Wait so is it a bet? Yeah it's a bet okay shake on it there I fake fake shook there uh she's a writer for

espionation she went to the Super Bowl for the first time and has many tales about doing videos that involved taking Zach Parize to an aquarium and finding out these afraid of fish and confined places and also what radio was like and then also we talk about the sports media and objectivity

objectivity is it lost on today's youth and homers and homer announcers and all kinds of good stuff and she is a two time two time two time guest here in puck soup we're very happy to have her back and we'll uh here she is charlotte walder is a part of the two time club along with david erlich a return guest in puck soup but never being in this more professional studio the first time we talked to you was in the yahoo studio which was if memory serves a little desk in the corner of a larger room that had maybe a spotlight on it oh that was the corner that was when we were still in the fuzzy black thing not the tiny yeah i felt like i was in the wings of a school play except the

school play was like a yahoo green screen with like a hologram of katie kurorick on it or something right that's right wasn't it am i hallucinating that was it it was it a white screen it was like a like slalom yeah thing yeah it felt that was the other room it felt like a like a sad clubs that were identical but a little it was a very sad club this feels like a cool content. Bottle service of that club was actually an old Snapple. Yeah. Diet. Diet. Oh, Snapple ranking. Go ahead. Oh, whoa. Put me on the spot like that. There's only like 75 different versions of

Snapple. Can we top of me? Literally, I don't know if I can name a single Snapplemon. Regulation lemon. Okay, yeah. Raspberry. Normal lemon, raspberry. Raspberry. Is there a green tea one? Brett Michael had his own flavor for a while there. And it was really good. Wait, I got what it was. Like a, no, no, no. Brett Michael.

Okay. It's like Natalie Merchant and 10,000 maniacs. Natalie Merchant had her own snapple, not 10,000 maniacs. I was, I am an Arizona girl for big, big Arizona guy into the, when I was in, oh, this is actually, I forgot about this until right now. When I was in high school, I used to bring a huge, not leader, but you know those like, those bottles that kind of look like handles of whiskey. Right. of Arizona iced tea, I would bring the diet green teas to my exam. And one teacher was like, she like saw it on my desk and was like, what is that?

Are you drinking? And I was like, no, that was at the semi-formal, but I got a way. Kind of a badass, you guys. I'm not sure if you know that. When I was in middle school, my item that I would bring to school was Tick-Tax. Oh, yeah? I was the kid. Did you give them to all the girls?

In middle school, yes. With the actual drugs? who had, no, they were really tic ticc. I was the kid in middle school who not only had tic tics all the time, but wore sweatpants. So you could definitely find me at any point by the jingle jangle of the tic tic tacks or my boner. That's actually how you dressed for the strip club, too, isn't it? You wear a tic tic tics and the sweatpants. They don't like that.

I'm like, Desire, you're really great at lap dances, but experiment? Yeah, what flavor? What color? Oh, it would definitely be The white ones, definitely. Yeah, the dark green ones. Oh, the dark green ones. The white ones and the green ones were the same thing. They were just like Pepsi and Crystal Pepsi.

Get out of the point. Light blue, dark blue Gatorade. They're kind of the same thing. They just have a different hue. That's crazy. The worst feeling in the world, though, is when you hear the ch-ch-ch-ch-ch of Tic-Tax. And then you're like, hey, tic-Tax. And they're like, yeah, here's orange.

I'm like, fuck you. That's not even a fucking breath. I can't eat orange anymore because, Once when I was little, I ate an entire box of orange ones and, like, really messed up my tongue. You know, when your tongue gets, like, it hurts from the, like, certain candies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I also, I drank so much Gatorade this past week when I had the flu. I haven't drank that much Gatorade. You know when you're little and you can just, like, mainline Gatorade. Like, Gatorade is, you mean, shotgun Gatorade. Yeah. And as an adult, it feels different. I remember as a kid, I used to play basketball. Like out in the sun for like three hours.

Just stay on the court all day. And after after you're 17, you can go drink anything you want. For some reason, I would chug like a two liter of inca cola. What? And be totally fine. And now, like, if I jog for like 30 minutes, if I don't have like the right balance of water. Yeah. And like protein.

I'm dead for two days. Wait. My kid, my kid, she's seven. She plays soccer. What's that? I just said it explains so much. Sorry. Go ahead.

My kid's seven. She plays soccer. So she gets Gatorade now when she plays soccer. And then like we'll go out and I'll be like what do you want to eat? And like she'll be like pizza. I'm like, that's fine. What do you want to drink? She's like, can we get Gatorade?

Like, what are you doing right now? She's like watching YouTube. I'm like, so not soccer. So, uh, no. You can't have a sugary electrolyte bomb. Guess we know who's a lame dad. Yeah. Oh, fuck off.

Great. No, like I'm what are the, like, I let my kid do all kinds of shit. But like I'm pretty strict on on like beverage consumption. No, I think that's right. I swear to God, like, I would not look like the fucking Jaba that I am now were it for my parents not having goddamn fucking two-liter bottles of

fucking Mountain Dew. Inca Cola, man, was pure sugar in grace. Yeah, my... Give her G2. Give her the sugar-freeatorade. You keep on saying inca-Cola, I'm not even sure what you're talking about. Me neither, but I didn't want to say anything because I thought Greg knew and I didn't want to be the loser. It was like a brand

of like this green, sweet, super sugary soda. You don't remember that? Google it. What is this like a shopwright brand? Was this like some sort of a like special to it is like mountain mist? No, it was like a real soda. Yeah, okay. This is something

that Dave's parents like, it's like they took green tang or something and like put it in a fake bottle and we're like, yeah, this is real. Only 90s kids know what I'm talking about. My parents would always get Mountain Dew and then they would always get R.C. Cola because they have

R.C. Cola at Chase Stadium and my dad wanted to feel like he was part of the Mets fan. You had the flu at the Super Bowl. Yeah. How did that go? That sucks, man. That's the worst thing. Did you have it beforehand? Did someone give you?

How good that looks. Let me see this? Or did someone give it to you while you were there? For the listeners at home, Dave has just pulled up a picture of Inca Cola and is showing it to us. All right, ready? It's so good. Inca Cola is a soft drink that was created in Peru in 1935 by British immigrant Joseph Robinson Lindley using lemon verbena. Verbena.

Verbena? Yeah, it's a lot of soaps. Learn about it. Oh, yeah? Well, in my sentence, it's verboten. Wait, so I was drinking soap-free flavor that somewhat resembles its main ingredient. It's a kind of tea. So you drink fucking soap soda when you were good.

Well, no, it's a tea. Verbena is a tea leaf, I'm pretty sure. I could be making all of this up. I was drinking cultured sodas from Peru while you people were drinking down American gross sodas. Don't drag me into this. I didn't, I wasn't allowed to have soda. Apparently, like fucking, you know, Jeeves, I need another ink a cold. They're coming, master loso.

It's like slur. Why you're done with your 30 minutes run, my friend? Do you need to get some protein to battle? out the ink of cola. Yeah, now, like, now when I leave here and it's, like, hot in here, I have to, like, go home and, like, just, like, sit in, like, a tub and, like, rehydrate. Like, like, one of those, like, like, Phil Kessel chambers. Oh, my God, yeah. The greatest thing about that, Phil Kessel in the, uh, the deep freeze photo that Malkin tweeted was

Oberman tweeting a picture of Captain Christopher Pike from the original Star Trek who was, like, paralyzed, and they put him in this, like, freezy tank, and legit had the same hairline as Phil Kessel. It's unreal. I love it. Phil, Phil Kessel's hairline is getting towards mad scientist. level. He doesn't, he doesn't care. It's great how little he cares. It's the best. It's beautiful. Oh, right. Super Bowl. You had the flu there. Yeah, so, I'm laughing because I feel like I used to be one of those people who was like, well, you know, my body knows when I can't get sick, but like afterwards I'll crash.

Like, you know, something, something like that. And I was like, so Saturday, before I was leaving on Sunday, I started to feel something a little scratchy in my throat. Like the week before? The week before. Yeah, I was good. I was there. from Sunday to Monday. It's called Igle fever. What? Igel fever. Oh, yeah. Your body knew something bad

was going to happen to the Patriots. I was trying to warn you. Clearly, yeah. So I get on the plane. I wake up in the morning and I was like, oh, I don't feel great, but I was like, maybe it's just a cold. Like, I can fight this off.

You woke up in the morning, not feeling like P. Diddy. No, I didn't feel like Keisha with her whole, with how great she's doing now. I didn't feel like P. Diddy. I didn't wash, I didn't brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack. No.

But so I get to the airport and I was traveling with my co-worker and friend who's wonderful, Jess Matanna. And she was like, oh, you don't seem like you're doing great. And I was like, yeah, it's going to be fine. And I'm like eating dayquil, like it's snacks. And then I woke up the next morning and I was like, I am unwell. I started on Monday when I was at the Super Bowl in this freezing. Minneapolis is cold. Like, it was really cold, and I woke up on Monday in my hotel room.

I had such a high fever that I started hallucinating. Like, I hallucinated a football robot in my hotel room. Like a fox football robot? It was like the Cletus. It was like the, seriously. And then I... You sure it wasn't like a coworker fucking with you. Like, I am a robot.

It could have been. You are sick and hallucinating. I, like, couldn't tell if I was asleep or awake. And I was like, I texted Jess and I was like, I think I might miss media night. And she was like, you should go to a doctor. So I went to the CVS Minute Clinic in some suburb of Minneapolis and this wonderful woman, Gloria. I sat down. She took my temperature and she was like, oh, 102.8.

And I just burst into tears. And she was like, whoa, what's going on? And I was like, well, this is going to be. That was a sign. You know why? Why? Because that was Nick Foles's passer rating and his win over the future in the Super Bowl. There you go.

Oh, my goodness. So they gave you a jug of gruel and some work of some sort. Pretty much. You pretty much were back on your feet. They gave me Tamiflu, which is, I don't know what sorcery they put in there, but I sweated out my fever and woke up the next day and was like, I definitely was not 100% all week, but I just sort of, I just, I was like one way through this. I wanted to ask you about Radio Row because you've never been to the Super Bowl, correct?

No. And I've never been there. And now that, like, it's the media day stuff and the Radio Row stuff has become sort of its own level of coverage because everybody in the media just likes to jerk each other off and talk about how fucking crazy the media is rather than actually like talking about football how was radio row oh man radio row i was did you go through it did you have to like do like a car wash we had a we had a set up there so for i was there i did some written stuff um i was mostly doing video so we um had you know if we did something with von miller Travis kelsey well i can get into that because some of

those are kind of funny but um yeah radio row is just a a setup of you know for for the lack of better word, beer pong tables. And usually there's some space, and it's in a convention center or something. This was in the food court of the Mall of America. Mall of America, right. Like, I would, you'd be, you'd see, you know, Stephen A. Smith walking around and then walk in front of a Panda Express. And there are fans all the way around it. So they, you know, watching people do interviews.

And it is cool if you're, you know, I think that it's often easy to lose sight of being in the media that, you know, sports personalities and people are people that fans come to care about. So for them, it's like, cool, you can see how the sausage is made, kind of. But it was very cramped and it was in a food court, which was like a little bit of cognitive dissonance. Can you imagine the fucking battle between the numb nuts Boston radio stations as to who gets to be near the Panda Express to get some toothpick samples throughout the whole day? Like, is there a good Boston sports talk radio? Like, is there like one where you're like, yes, that's a radio show I wanted to do? situation with Brady's daughter and him going on the air and being like, if you're going to talk about my kid, then I'm not coming on your show.

Oh, right. Yeah, that I don't really want to comment on that because that involves a radio station and some people that. Oh, wait, is that the radio station? Of course it is. Because in a previous episode, you talked about the radio station that came after you. Yeah, I'd rather not get into all that. So you're not going on that station either because they talk shit on Tom Brady's daughter. Anyone who says anything bad about Tom Brady to me is just immediately dead.

Like Dave died years ago to me. I'm not even here really. It makes total sense though. Like making fun of his daughter is very verboten. But if you talk about how big his son's crank is, you can get a lot of money in VC funding from a big company. Wait, did that happen? That was Barstool. Remember that whole thing?

They talked about Tom Brady's kids. You don't remember that thing where they published a photo of Tom Brady's kid naked on the beach? I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not surfing for Barstall in this very often. That was one of the big. launching points and Dave Portnoy double down on it. How long ago is this? This was in the early days of Barstool before people started to really pay attention to it.

I can't believe neither of you remember that story. I don't know that side. Yeah. Look it up kids. It's really exciting. His kids, the early, early origins of Barstool Sports. Yeah. Now look where they are now.

Yeah. Fighting with people at Deadspin over. Media, media, bleh. That's my analysis. So you did videos. Von Miller. Uh-huh. He did videos with...

Kelsey. Our boy, our boy, Zach Perriese. And let's talk about your Zach Porese video. So you and Zach Pemise, former New Jersey Devil. A lot of people probably don't know he plays with the wild because he does. Not really, you know, you know.

He's from there. Did you know that? I remember where that. Hockey is the weirdest sport where I swear to God, it's the only sport where people care so much about where playing and like where they grew up. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm not, I never noticed it in football or basketball or

basketball or anything because it's so regional right but like but like why would you you have such a limited time to play a sport at the top of your game and to win and do all that stuff like why would you just like Kevin Chattonker coming to the Rangers because when he was a kid his parents had sex nine months before before that in an area that's close to the arena you know he decided to come here because of that's funny too because like I was talking to somebody the other day was like singing the praises of Chuck Fletcher as a GM he's like and you know he swung for the fences and got Prizay and Souter I'm like they wanted to fucking go home that's it like he just I wanted to be the GM of the team that was closest to the place where they wanted to go.

Imagine hating New Jersey and Nashville so much that you're like, I want to go back home to Minnesota. No, I think. I've had enough of this. He was actually, I sort of was giving him a hard time. I was like, what's better, New Jersey or Minneapolis? And he was like, well, you know, Minneapolis is home. But he said that he really did love playing here and being here and seemed to, he's such a nice guy. Like, he's so genuine that, you know, I was sort of, he.

He was surprised that I would be poking fun at New Jersey almost. He was like, no, no, it's great. New Jersey's great. So he didn't react like a Winnipeg person when someone makes fun at Winnipeg and then spends a month griping about how great. I imagine he has a lot of affinity for New Jersey having, you know, actually got a chance to play for a cup with one of these teams. Yeah.

Not necessarily the other one. That's not going to happen. What did you learn about him and fish? Okay, he's not super into fish or enclosed spaces, which I didn't know before we went to the aquarium where there are tunnels, literally under fish tanks, which was something where I was kind of like, huh, okay, sorry that we're in the middle of this video shoot, because what we did was... He's like sweating and counting in the corner.

He's like, the sharks are so close. Sorry, excuse me. The glass crack? Is that crack? Is there a crack in that glass? I know, I stepped on a peanut. So he, we met at the aquarium and, you know, for the, his whole team was there and everything.

And I was like, okay, so we start filming and the whole thing was going to be that we go on a tour of the aquarium. end up feeding the sharks. And we're walking through and we go, we look at the stingrays. I like make him touch a bunch of the sea an enemies in one of those exhibits where you can touch. The touch tank. Yeah. And he was like, oh, God, this is, I don't know how I feel about this.

And I was like, come on, man. And then I think he had fun. I hope he had fun. You basically exposed him to all of his greatest fears for. Yeah, I did. Inadvert. So then we're like at the stingray exhibit. And I was like, so how do you feel about sea creatures in general, which was a

question I asked because that's the thing you ask people. I was like, sure. Afterwards, I watched the video and I was like, who, what goes on in your head? Classic Super Bowl question. Classic. I had a sea creatures. And he goes, uh, you know, the ocean try not to go above my knees. And I was like, oh, good.

So this is perfect. And then we go under the tunnel of the fish tank. And he goes, uh, do you get claustrophobic? And I was like, I looked at him and I was like, oh, fuck. I was like, uh, you know, I don't, I don't like love. enclosed spaces but I think I'm oh god do you are you okay are you okay and he was like yeah I don't don't love them but uh well here we go you know for a guy that for a guy that plays in the corners yeah not for nothing he kind of makes his living behind the goal line there exactly he's

like charles groat and midnight run he was a really good these things go down it's a brick with wings there's too much water pressure it's gonna break um did he feed the the sharks yeah that was really cool actually yeah we we threw To fish into the shark tank And those things, man, Jaws was more of a documentary than a, let me tell you. They really snapped their.

They snapped their teeth. How big is the tank? Are you like, how close are you to like the actual? We were really close. And at one point there's a gate and we're staying next to it and one of the guys who works there, he looks at us, he was like, do you want a life jacket? And it was like, cracking jokes.

It was like, hey, what, are we going in a boat? Think I'm going to be fine. And then the guy takes the gate away and I'm an inch away from falling into the shark tank and I was like okay I'm the asshole here No you're not because like if you fall in the tank drowning isn't the problem Right right

You're not worried about drowning I didn't think of that's a really good point Like losing your leg Could exponentially increase the chances of drowning Can you wrap me in Kevlar? I'll sink to the bottom and then you can come get me out And my limbs will still be intact Do you have a protective body suit?

Yeah For me? How about like one of those cages that you go into That would have been great content though? I'm concerned that you were putting Zach Preezee in a situation where he might lose a hand No, I wasn't. Because all he's got left

is his hands at this point. Oh, Greg. Yeah, he's got the back thing, doesn't he? These guys, not the best player anymore, Dave. What old is he? What might say that he would have not have been on Team USA were they to have a Team USA this year? Not according to a roster released earlier today

by one Dave Lozo of Ice Sports. You would have put them on Team USA? No, no, no. Oh, okay, I was going to say, Jesus. Who would you put on Team USA? Who's the easiest pick to put on Team USA? Oh, Austin Matthews. Oh, Matthews, Eichel.

I want to fucking killed it. I wrote this on ESPN and all the Canadians got pissed to me for just speaking the truth. We wouldn't win gold. We wouldn't win gold in the fucking walk. Easily. It's true.

It's true. Because the only thing that's ever in standing in our way from winning gold against the Canadians is this cuckled nature that we have where we think we can't score with them. So we all just, we got to win one nothing

and hope Johnny Quick does all right or hope they fuck up somehow. But like we have all the firepower now. We're just as good as they are. The speed. Their defense is too old. I know it's really too bad. I would have loved to see that.

That would have been real fun. I don't know. I still prefer seeing James Wisniewski trying to win a gold medal. James Wisniewski versus Ben Scrivens. Here we go for the gold medal in the shootout. It's like the replacements. God. My thing as usual with the Olympics, though, is definitely going to still be spot the rando on these other teams. Like, like, Landislav Nagy is on the Slovakian team. They have a bunch of guys that are like...

Marky rats on the Czech team. No, but they have guys that, like, sound like NHL guys. Like, it's not Voitek Volsky. It's like Vojek-Kolsky. and I'm like, wait, is that actually here? They're all skating around with Groucho Marx mask, son. Like, here comes Alan Ovechkin down the wing. Wait. Alan Ovechkin.

Joel Lundquist. That guy looks exactly like Henry. Look at that guy. But I'm bunch. Yeah, so. What else do you see Super Bowl week? Tell us more about the Super Bowl weekend. Can me like something that you saw that was fun that you didn't.

I wanted to ask you what one of our videos when you want on the roller coaster for the first time with Travis Kelsey. Oh, my God. And then as was pointed out many times, from the people who viewed the video, still did your due diligence as a reporter whilst on the roller coaster for the first time. Yeah. That was funny. I was not prepared to be as nervous for that as I was. Like, normally if I do something, you know, for content, I'm really so focused on trying to get the other person to try to sort of set them up or make the interview as good as possible or carry it enough. Not pissing yourself because the laws of gravity no longer matter as you're thrown around and violently in an inside roller coaster. Exactly. And this was a kind of thing. Like I'm not scared of heights. I really like going fast. I'm not physically scared of things. For some reason, the only thing that has ever kind of freaked me out as a roller coaster. Like I went to Canopy Lake Park in New Hampshire when I was 10, got buckled into that, waited in line for an hour with my friends, got buckled into it. And right before it's about to go, I was like, I was like, I. I can't do it. I can't do it. And I got out. So I've never been on a roller coaster, I think probably because of that one experience.

But so I'm there, like, trying to make sure that I'm doing an interview that's interesting and setting Travis up with questions. And in the back of my head, I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm about to do this. And there's a GoPro right at my face. So I was like, everyone's going to see how terrible I look while this is happening. That's a very good point. Because, like, you know, no one ever buys their picture after they get off a roller coaster. They come over like, oh my God, what it's it look like? And then you look at it and it looks like a fucking Picasso. Right. You're just like, you're screaming. You're clearly crapping your pants. Right.

I'm like drooling on a famous football player. No, so Travis, he was great though. He had just eaten Burger King. And he told me that right as we're about to get on. And I was like, I swear to God, this is if you. Burger King before walking, let alone going to roll. But he was great. He was a real good sport.

And then, yeah, I was, as we were sort of careening down the, this, track inside the Mall of America, which is not a sentence I ever thought I would say. Kelsey's like, I was like, I need to ask him something. I need to try to carry the bit of doing an interview and all I could think of, I just screamed out, Travis, how much do you love football? And I don't think he answered. And then I was like, cool, okay, I'm just going to try not to die. Travis, what's your favorite invertebratee sea creature? What's your favorite goldfish flavor? Would you consider the ups and downs of this roller coaster, much like the ups and downs of Alex Smith from week to week.

Can Alex Smith throw deep? Travis, week four against the charges here. We're open in the back of the end. It's on two-point conversion. Travis, Pam Holmes, tell me everything. Have you, as a Bostonian, have you over, have you, have you, let's two-part question. Okay. Can you appreciate the magic that was the Eagles win?

Yes, 100%. Are you over the loss? Yes. I'm about to say something very controversial for Boston fandom. And I'm probably going to get... Let me guess. You're not mad. You're happy.

You're laughing. No, I'm not happy. I'm... You still blame Buckner. No, it's Butler. Oh, that's right. Because they didn't let Malcolm Butler play for some reason. By the way, all that stuff they said about him?

Not true. I don't believe it's true. I think Bill Belichick's just out of his fucking mind. I think he had two weeks to overthink about things and he was like, how about I put a safety on one of the best tight ends in football and then give up 41 points and never adjusts. I think they were rattled. I think they were rattled, and I... You love the Eagles, as we all do.

And then, but you're also okay with this loss. Well, so I've personally felt that that team... Like, I wrote about Chris Long this fall and I... Oh, the reason nobody watched the Super Bowl because of his lib-tart. Exactly. Oh, were the ratings bad? No, readings were fine. Ratings were fine.

They were down, like, three points from the last year. They were down, like, a smidge, but not as dramatic as the dip that the regular season games had. And sort of within line of, like, quarter-old. cutting and everything else. Chris Long hating America didn't really hurt. No. Stop it.

Chris Long hates the flag and the troops. He does. I read that. I read that on a couple of websites. I forget what they were called, but I saw it on Facebook. Rhymed it.

Rhymed a schmite smart. Howie Long doesn't because he was in that movie he was in that movie as a fire fighter that one time. Remember that? Yeah. It's true. Fire storm, fire geo. I don't remember that.

The one with John Travolta and Christian Slater. But yeah, so I and Bo Allen and, you know, Fletcher Cox. And I interviewed a bunch of these guys so it made me, I liked them. I wanted them to... Oh, so you're, so you're, you're, see, this happened to me when I started to cover the Rangers. I used to hate the Rangers and then you get to know the Rangers and then you're just like... Yeah, and you're like, ah, you're kind of,

you're people. Yeah, they're human beings. Yeah, I don't, it really, it sucks to find that out, right? Being a sports writer's tough for your fandom, man, but also with the Pats, and this is the thing I'm going to say that is going to not do well, but I'm going to, I'm going to give you guys a little bit of controversy. As a Patriots fan, oh, this is going to sound so obnoxious. I'm wondering if I should say this. Jimmy G signed today, by the way. Just have a quiet. Stop it. What? Niners gave him a long-term deal. Come on. Let her burn bridges. Ah, Dave. Wait, did he really? I miss that. I don't know how many years, but saw it as I was coming

in. Come on. Sorry. Tell me how happy you are about the loss. I'm resting my head on the microphone. I miss Jimmy. Kick the tires and light the fire. Okay, so winning five Super Bowls is super cool. Winning, if we had won, like, there's something about fandom that having it having something to root for like next year i can be so all in because i'm like can they prove themselves like can they get back and they do six but if they done it this year and next year would have been like okay well guess guess we're gonna go so you're saying that this loss allows patriots fans to believe that the world is against them and that they hope oh to overcome incredible odds to succeed no charlotte would have been so bored by winning

honestly something like that she was boring right that's what she's saying i'm going to pay for this. She's actually found the most obnoxious new angle for Patriots. All the winning is getting tiresome. Yeah, great. I want a new challenge in this upcoming season. You heard it here first. God. Oh, God. Can we edit that part out? There was no...

Honestly, got, up until the Tom Brady fumble at the end, I really wasn't sure who I wanted to win. And then he fumbled and I was like, yes, this is what I want. And now, now I know for sure now I wanted the Eagles to do. Howie Long played a fire fighter named Jesse in Firestorm in 1998. Fire stuff. That feels right. That's two years after Broken Arrow.

Broken Arrow, that's the one of you. He's also appeared as Howie Long on Beverly Hills 90210, and Howie Long on Married with Children. My goal in life is to appear as Charlotte Wilder in something. Like Charlotte Wilder as Charlotte Wilder, because that's how you know you made it. Are you going to be Charlotte Wilder? Like Larry David is like Larry David, but not Larry David. Like are you going to be like a slightly... Like Stephen Colbert is like...

Yeah. Right. Uh... An outsized version of yourself, like every... It's really hard. Every day it gets harder to tell, like, where the wine between me and, like, these weird alter egos I've built for myself. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's sort of touch and go. It does decrease the chances of you being on TV now that entourage is off the air because you could have been like, Turtle could have been like, yo, man, I got Charlotte Wilder. She's coming to sample this new tequila than that. Who else? What could I be on now? Who can I be Charlotte Wilder and Charlotte Wilder? It needs to be like a Sprott's show.

Does it? I mean, in theory, like, you're in Sprott's right now. In Sprott's. No, it would be Sprott's based. Oh, you could be like, I wonder if there's like, I don't know, like on WWE Divas. Oh, yeah. Like some sort of a thing where you would be like, like, the div would be like, and then I had this incredible interview with Charlotte Wilder. That's a reality show, right?

That's not a show. But you can't, but, oh, you're saying scripted? Of course. Oh, you're fucking, your fucking standards over there. Like, I mean, I want to be. Why would it not be scripted? scripted television show on the air now or in the last 20 years that I would want to be on besides top show. I would want to be on The Good Place as Charlotte Wilder.

Right. Yeah, because she could be yourself in anything, really, if it's a reality show. That's not hard. It would be the person who wrote about Jason Mendoza's fandom of the Jags, and I would come to do a follow-up interview. But that would mean that I was dead, so hopefully I don't die. And the good place is supposed to be the bad place now, right? Yeah, I know. It's hard to watch that show.

I gotta get into that. It's really good. I'll still probably see it many years from now, much like I caught up with Parks and Rec at some point. It was funny. I was seeing somebody else's feed this week that was like, somebody please tell me that the parks and rec gets better after the first season. And then everybody's like,

it does, it does. Don't give up on it, please. The first season is trash. They tried to be in the office. Yeah, I gave up after the first season. Did you? I was so bad. I hated it.

It was like a bad version of the office. Yeah. Yeah, but then it gets rude. Rob Lo looks into the camera like, what? Like, yeah, I've seen Jim Hopper do that for eight fucking years. And then it got good. Yeah, but that's Rob Lowe. But that's still what they do.

It was on a plane once that I had no sound on. It was on the TV in front of me. And like 45 times, like, Adam Scott just goes, like, all right. I wish you guys could have seen the face. Dave just made it. It was really good. I can't believe he said that.

I need a visual of that. What did you learn about covering media day radio show shit at the Super Bowl? That you didn't know beforehand. What did I learn? Tell us the young writers out there. Tell us something fun that you saw that you couldn't use for content or something. Give us some non-content. off the books Charlotte Wilder experiences.

Oh man. Okay. I'm trying to think of who I saw sort of milling around. Media night is way better for that, but I was sick. Just talk anybody? He's like any media person. You were like, oh, I got to meet that person. And then they were like, get out of here. Who are you? I ran into Aaron Rogers at one point. Did you run into him at one point? Yeah, for a story. And I went up to him and I was like, hey man, I don't know if you remember me, but I was at the Kentucky Derby. I told you

you should buy the signed Ritchie Sambora guitar, which is true. And he was like, oh yeah. Hey, Charlotte, how you doing? And I was like, I'm good. He knew your name? Well, I was like, it's Charlotte. I don't think you wouldn't know. But the person saying next to him was like he didn't recognize you because you didn't have a hat on.

Because you don't have your hat on, assuming that at the derby, and Rogers goes, she didn't have a hat on. And I was like, wow, a photographic memory, man. There you go. That's beautiful. Yeah, I got Von Miller to agree to have a joint birthday party with me. Like marijuana? Yeah, I was going to tell me.

Ooh, congratulations. That's awesome. No. He's from Denver, so he probably used to get the shit out there, right? Or at least the available stuff. Yeah. We didn't cover that, but I mean, I'm down. He, yeah, he was born the day after me.

So I was like, well, we're doing sort of an interview jenga thing. And I said, do you want to raise the stakes? If you lose, we have to have a birthday party together. And he was like, well, I don't want to have to lose for that. And I was like, oh, okay, great, let's do it. And then apparently we're going to have our birthday party in the Ozarks. Sweet. Oh, yeah.

He likes to fish, and I'm going to teach him how to tie flies. And you can both find a lot of oxy. It's all about sea life with Charlotte. Every athlete, she's just like. This is a very fish-themed week now that I think about it. Actually, Travis Kelsey was eating tuna the whole time on the roller coaster now that I think about it. and the crock technically is a is a water-based animal yeah i didn't think of that wow fishing from marlins with derrick cheater imagine i wonder if you would i wonder if you would do that with me that should be

like a web series like you just sit on this like fake doc with like a cg i thing behind you you just sit there and just cast the pole but i would want it yes boom trademark nobody can take that the sporting life aquatic wow and we just go fishing I would love it. I love fishing you guys. Fishing rules. Have you, do you like to fish? I've been trying to get my friends to come fishing with me forever in a day.

No one stepped up and I'm certainly not going to go alone. So I've not been fishing, Greg? Absolutely. I've not been fishing. I'm serious. Yeah, I would because I've not been fishing in like 15 years. My grandpa used to go fishing all the time. He would leave our house. He gets to the Long Island or wherever at 5 in the morning

and then he would go fish for bluefish and fluke. But I've not been forever. I used to go with him. occasionally. And the 1995 Devils were a fluke. Oh my, wow. I just felt like that.

You know, I don't agree with that, but I knew it would hurt you. You put me on the hook on that one. You should have cut bait while you were ahead. Hookline and sinker over there. The show will be you a guest, and then we'll just have the crock in the background and never mention him or explain him.

Oh my God, I love that. He's just kind of walking around. The crock from TV time, I'm so, so good. For those who don't know, there's a fucking, what's the Cliff Nose version of it? So, yeah. Tom Brady has really weird social media and started a fake newspaper and has comics that they publish every time the team wins.

And there's always a crocodile in it. And he won't, we don't know why. That's literally what it boils down to. Because you asked that media day and he still wouldn't ever say it what it was. I was like, I had no voice at this point. So I was like, Tom, Tom, who does a crocodile represent? And the other reporters are like, whoa, this person is nuts. Like not only could I not talk, but I literally camped out in front, like as close to his thing as I could for half an hour before he got there to ask him about a crocodile.

Brady's like, finally a question I want to answer. Right. Brady. And he was like there might be a reveal after the game, but then they lost. So of course, there wasn't. And we don't know. He's like, the crocodile represents the stem cell lattes that my wacko trainer gives me to keep me young. Yeah, he's like, I have to go shove some wheatgrass in some places, and then we'll... Maybe the crock was Jimmy G. Like looming. What was your theory on the crock? I don't think they have a clue, man.

I don't think... Yeah, I don't think it represented anything. I think they painted themselves into a corner. I think the artist who did it who will not go on the record with me, which is driving me nuts. Do you know who it is or is an email address? I sent him Instagram messages like at least twice a week being like, do you want to talk yet? He's like, nope. And I'm like, okay, one time he told me he appreciated my hustle, though.

Did you ever consider that it could be a reference to Mario Battali's shoes, but now they can't reveal it because of what went down with Mario Battali? Oh, wow. I mean, yeah, I thought I've gotten the most incredible theories from readers. Someone found alligator print Ugs and was like, well, Brady's sponsored by Ugs, so it's clearly a reference to the shoe. And I was like, no, it's clear. Like, what? How is that, the logic there is incredible. Wait, do we know it's a crock or an alligator?

It's a crook. Because they call him crocs. And in the back end HTML of tb times.org, if you hover over the crocodile, it says it highlights the word crock. Fucking Alex Jones of Tom Brady is over here. The thing is. Cam trails behind the crocodile. Jet fuel camp melt steel beam. Like people who are chasing him down on media day and ask about the thumb and Charlotte's like, the crock.

I don't understand the crock. Answer the questions, Tom. I really just want them to admit that I'm pretty sure what happened was that. that they just put them in there and then kept putting it in there. And then I, this like weirdo reporter just latched onto it. And then they're like, oh, God, well. I want to see the ones for the losses because he said that, like, they always have one ready. But if they lose, they don't post it.

He said they might release some of them. But I think that because they lost, like, I think this is over. I need the Patriots giant Super Bowl. What do you think about win another Super Bowl? Tommy, what do you think about the Eggles front floor? Tell me. Up, up, up. I was tough.

You should ask Malcolm Butler. about it because he probably would like a question besides like not playing for once. I really yeah maybe I'll reach out to the pads to be like maybe he knew and that's why I'm available for the last thing I wanted to talk about today was a big media story in the last couple days and since we're all in media I figured I bring it up

Jeff Perlman who's big a author and an SI writer and a guy who's follows 45,000 people on time yeah and an arbiter of journalistic morality tweeted these two things yesterday you can factually cover sports without

bias without being a fan. You accept this job with conditions. One of them, the big one, is you're an observer. You can remain a fan of the game, a fan of the action, a fan of the narratives. But teams no. Admittedly, this is a generational thing. I saw far too many young journalists who

were covering the Super Bowl and professing largely via social media. Their dislike for Brady or the Patriots, which taints everything you write. Thoughts? I don't care what Jeff Perlman thinks that I'm not going to let it affect me. I don't think it should affect you, but do you think that there's virtue in saying that no one should know what your biases are before you write something?

I've thought about this a lot, actually, because I think that it's sort of, I don't think, I think that that train has sailed, as it were. A long time ago. I think that if you come up at all having any social media, like before I was a sports writer, I still had Twitter and I was a general reporter and I'd be like, go Pat's. So to transition to a sports writer, I can't all of a sudden be like, no one knows what team I am a fan of. So then it becomes like this sort of performative lying of being like, for me, I feel like it's so compartmentalized. Like I can be a fan of, you know, like take another team. I'm a big Red Sox fan. Cool.

I can write critically about the Red Sox. I can cheer for them at Fenway with my friends. And then I can be like, yeah, you know what? This year, the Yankees are better. And like it doesn't affect just because I have these memories and connections to a team doesn't affect my ability to sort of step back. I think some people you can tell where, you know, it's like, oh, okay, that person wrote this thing because they were affected by how they feel about the team. But you can also do it where it's like, oh, I know this person is a fan of this team, but they still wrote a pretty objective thing. Dan Shaughnessy, yeah, invented a curse to sell books about the Red Sox fans.

That happened like, what, 40 years ago? Like, come on. Come on, Jeff. The thing is, is like, if you're a beat writer, I would so exponentially prefer you to be a fan of the team or to have a familiarity with the team or have lived and died with the team at some point. Because then I know that you understand my,

the importance I placed in this team, you understand that importance. And you know it better. You know the dynamics better. You know how the heart, you know, if you're a reporter on the devils. You have to be a fan to know dynamics of the team. I think it helps.

No, it doesn't. I would much, why is it such a condition I think a fan can make you more passionate about doing it, but it doesn't affect whether you're good or bad at it. But why do we have to be sports agnostic? Like, if I'm reading somebody writing about a comic book movie, like, I would clearly want them to be a comic book fan. Why?

Because I think the writing was stronger, because I think the opinions are better. They're more well informed. But, like, you don't have to be a comic book fan that, like, a comic book movie. I've never had a comic book my life. I've seen almost every Marvel movie. Yeah, and most of them you think are shitty,

and you downplay them. And you keep them like shit. See, now you're inventing lies. to be in your case. We've talked about how many comic movies in this show and most of the time

you just dump all over them. Ant man's bad, suicide squad's bad. You think Captain America a paragon of virtue is a criminal and a horrible person.

Well, he is. That's not a quality of movie. He covered up the murder of Tony Stark's parents for his buddy he knew in Brooklyn 80 years ago. He's a piece of shit. I think the big issue

that's objective. The big issue I've had with this Perlman thing is like it's never my job, never my job, never my job

to manage the perceptions of my audience. Someone's going to read my shit. They're going to believe one thing or another. They're going to believe what outcome I was cheering for to write the story that I wrote. They're going to think what team I was pulling for, what guy I don't like or do like,

depending on how much criticism I put on them. That's not my job to manage those expectations. And the idea that if I put myself out as a devil's fan is somehow going to, you know, further pervert their view of my work is nonsensical because... You're a devil's fan?

True. As people find out, I'm a devil's fan. Guess what happened? The same number of people that say, well, you don't like the flyers, say you don't like the flyers. And the same, and now the other thing that's happened is that devil's fans, who in theory should be like, oh, yeah, this guy is a devil's fan. Now come at it as, well, he's saying this because he's a devil's fan or he's saying this because he's trying to bury the fact that he's a devil's fan. But it's not my job to manage that. People are going to believe what they believe.

Here's my take is, in 2018, I've kind of decided to not get mad about everything that happens on Twitter, unless it's, like, really bad. and if Jeff Perlman wants people to be objective good for him it's unrealistic but hold on but that's my fucking point is like who cares you just said he wants people to be objective where did we get to a point where if you are honest with your

allegiances you can't be objective it's my job I didn't say you couldn't but the insinuation is that he's saying he's saying that it's a zero sum game where you either bury your feelings about teams and sports and shit you're passionate about or you can't be objective him believing that doesn't

to have anything to do with me. I think so... I think there is this sort of... What social media in journalism has done is there's a sort of the personality of the writer and then there's the stuff they write. And I think that those are, can be kind of separate. So for me, like... Sure.

And so that's why I don't think that it... Like, if you are yourself on the... online in any capacity that and you care about sports that will probably include your fandom at some point. So I think it's sort of I don't. Yeah, nobody gets into sports because they don't like sports, you know? Right. I also think you're usually a fan of stuff. But I also think this speaks to like this bullshit culture of gotcha stuff that happens where, you know, an opinion, reporting is done.

It's an important story. And then rather than talking about the reporting, we're like, well, you know, his wife ran for. the Democratic nomination for the city council in bum fuck Virginia. Well, that's politics. Yeah, but that matters more than whether or not I like Tom Brady.

It bleeds over to everything. It's this whole notion of not looking at judging the work based on the work, but trying to judge what inspired the work. That existed before social media, though. No, I'm not saying it.

Anyone who sees like a beat writer of any team assumes that person's a fan of the team. You see that all the time. Whether it's like someone who's completely dry on Twitter who just covers a team, they're like, oh, I bet you're so happy to see the Minnesota Wildwind. No, I think it's the opposite.

I think the assumption from readers is always that the person covering the team doesn't like the team. And they certainly don't like the fans. Oh, no one does. I think it depends on the fan base, honestly. Like, I think it depends on the market and sort of how beleaguered the fans are. Yeah, it's interesting, too, just in terms of, like, national versus local, like the beat reporting versus on the national state, you know, people will be like, oh, like so many people

in national media are Boston fans. And you look around, you're like, oh, yeah, I guess that kind of. All right. Or went to Northwestern. Yeah. I didn't go to Northwestern. I super wouldn't have gotten in. There's a lot of people that did. It does, this does speak to something we were actually going to talk about one week. We didn't get a chance to you, which is what, what do you like out of your sports announcing teams. Do you like them to be homers or

do you like them to not be homers? Because the one that I was saying, it was right after the AFC title game between Tennessee and the Jacksonville, sorry. And the Patriots where I was listening to the Jacksonville radio feed and it was like it was like listening to seven guys

at a hooters. Oh my God. Screaming about everything. They're like, you're like holding, holding all Jacksonville. Figures. Figures once again. Once again. I love that. To be fair, those guys were right. Yeah, those guys were right. Okay, relax.

It was not rigged. It was not rigged. Do you like a Homer booth or do you like a more... I love a Homer booth. I think it makes it so much more... Oh, God. I hate you both. I just don't care, man.

I think that what I love is enthusiasm, honestly. And if that takes the form of... I mean, there's a different... You know, there's like Tony Romo being like, well, ah! And then there's like the Homer, you know, So I just, sports to me are so enjoyable because they are so ridiculous. So anytime you can ratchet up any of that either ridiculousness or nonsense or just sort of pure delight in whatever form. I'm like, you know what?

I see. I don't mind the Homer stuff if it's like your local broadcast because I get it. Oh, a local broadcast. Yeah, if this is a national thing. But like last night Bruins Rangers was on and it's Doc Emmerich who's calling the game a national guy. Next to him is Joe McEletti, the Rangers guy. in between the boards is Andy Brickley, the Boston guy. And Patrice Bergeron scores a dog-shit goal from, like, just inside the blue line.

And Joe Micheletti's like, may have changed direction there. And they're not killing one quist at all for the goal. He's just like, yeah, it's a tough save. Meanwhile, the puck is deflected 40 feet from the net. And Andy Brickley is like, oh, Patrice Bergeron, well, I say he should be an MVP candidate. You're just like, can I just get like some unbiased analysis of this play? I guess like for it does depend. Like national broadcast, national radio, I think that try to maintain some.

if it is the Jacksonville broadcast of a Jaguars game, hell yeah. The only thing I say about the local broadcast as far as the homerism is you can bring it to a certain point. But if you have a former player on your broadcast that still believes he's playing, and is constantly like, oh, we got hosed on that call. Let me tell you right now, we got a host big time. Is that a Philly? Is that Philly? What is that?

Oh, my God. Greg invented an accent. Exactly. It's Baltofila burg. That was unreal. You sounded like a Muppet kind of. I often do. But that's my only thing. I say that with the most kind of.

Like Romo bugs me because he's super enthusiastic. You get right out of here right now. But like that one play in the Jaguar's Patriots game where Miles Jack recovers the fumble and gets up and he's gone to win the game and go up by 17, he's just like, let's see the fumble here. Oh, oh, you just make sounds. He's like, oh, look at that. Look at that, Jim.

Give me that a million times before you give me pass interference on the two-point conversion, and Chris Collinsworth still being like, now, I don't know, he might, this might not be a runner at this point. Let's go back and look at it again and again and again and again. That was what Micheletti was doing last night on the shitty goal. He was like, maybe off sides here. Let's take a look and see if it's just fucking. Collinsworth was such fucking trash during the Super Bowl. And I'm not a guy that usually bashes him, but holy shit, man.

Like, literally, like, drop your trapper keeper with the pictures of Tom Brady's come back to the floor. Just ignore the narrative for a second. Call the game that's happening. Not versus, you know, a minute left, man. They got to get around a 45 for that Hail Mary toss. So Tommy can bring him. Shut up. What's wrong with saying they have to get them all to the 45 for a entire fourth quarter was basically like, now let's see what the page.

That play where he's literally like, he's the point where he's like. Are you a Patriots fan? No, it was that. No. What's going on? Where Collinsworth was like, like, I don't know if the Eagles should have really gone for it there to pick up the first down because, you know, you want to make, don't give Brady to. I'm just like, who gives this shit? They're trying to score the definitive.

Oh, I think you're talking about the Patriots. I'm going to get the new field for the Hail Mary. No. No, I am talking about that. He was talking about the entire time. Was he? He was terrible. Oh, he's terrible for sure.

I'm not defending Chris Collinsworth, but yeah. I don't, like, I just hate when guys who are calling the game don't talk about the thing that's obviously the thing they should be talking about. Like Miles Jack recovering a fumble to cause the Patriots to lose the EFC title game. And they don't even mention it. Like that drives me insane. Like that causes me to scream at my TV more than Tony Romo going, oh, they're going to run left here. They ran left. Great job, Tony.

I would, I would, sometimes I do think, though, I would be the worst either play-by-play or color commentary guy. Like, I would just have, I would be talking about the weirdest things. I'd be like, oh, there's a woman. who appears to be dumping Mountain Dew into her popcorn, Chris. What is she right by the 50 yards? Like, I just get set a stranger. Like, all right, section 125 row four, get on or get on. Go, go, go.

No, no. Oh, yeah, we got to talk about that, don't we? What? The whole H.L. ECHL thing that I did as a joke and now people want us to do it. All right, Charlotte, we've kept you way too long. I can go forever. This is great, you guys. We'll bring you back for the hat trick. Don't worry about it. It's a race between you and David Ehrlich. Oh, my God, I want to win. When it's like Oscar time.

Well, technically, we've had like Sean Leahy on like 11 times haven't we? I consider him as sort of like a sidekick though like Suttering Jong type guy so I think he really counts. I'd be I'll be a sidekick to catch his face. I'm here for sidekick. You want to be a psychic on Puck Sue? I'll be a sidekick.

Do you work at home and you work? Where are the offices for SBNation? Are they in Manhattan? Are they in Brooklyn? They are in Manhattan. Oh, they are okay. Also, yeah, it, I do want to say that like the video team and our team out there was really, that was fun. That was something I didn't mention, but it was fun to

like have people out there that you work with because it can feel sometimes like you're floating. And especially in the Mall of America, like I was blogging something from inside a mini golf, a plastic mountain and a mini golf course. And there's like tinny music coming out. And I feel like I'm like. What kind of music? Tinny. What is tinny music? Just like it sounded like.

Like, like, like, sort of like when the speakers in the Kmart are broken and they're playing music and it just sounds a little bit off. I thought Tini was like a band and artist or a new type of music. 90% of the things that Charlotte just said were Beck lyrics to me. Standing in a mountain in a me, golf. And your sister. Chinny Music. I think your name was Brady. See, at least I ask quite, I don't pretend like I know stuff.

I'm always the first one to go, what does that mean? Why do you guys have two guitars in here? Oh, should we tell her about the segment we do every week now? Yeah, sure, please. Yeah. What we do is, we both, we're in bands and we come here. and we just kind of jam and just sing a song about the week of hockey. How have I missed that?

It's improv, really. We don't ever, we don't really scripted it. Can I play, can I play last dance with Mary Jane real quick? We were like, Rangers gave up six to the Bruins. Now their season is totally in ruins. Oh, that's really good. That's just the Juno soundtrack. Or like a musical.

I don't see what anyone. We should do a full Puck Soup musical at some point. Oh my God. Yeah, I remember that. But like it really like talented people to sing it. No. I'll be here. You'll help write it.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. Here we go. Content. No, but you'll have to be the, well, you do, at one point, you will have to play the person who asks Tom Brady about the crocodile. That'll be your role. Oh, yeah, no, I'm here for that. I'll sing. Oh, I must know about your crook.

Is it a crook, or is it a crock, or is it a crock? The TV Times, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, seriously, I'm like, oh, Tom, tell me, what do you say? I hear, hey, you have a fake newspaper. bro, can we get you on the record on that one? We get you the big camera with a big, like, light bulb that breaks off. Yeah, I just, I just want to be chained somebody, like ripping by us, be like, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, over here, Tom, I got a question for you.

And then I'll be there, like, oh, this lady, raw, I think she knows how to ask questions about the sports, huh? Yeah, and then I'll punch you in the face. He would have turned to you and then like, Charlotte, the crock is all of us. I know. And just like, oh, my God. I think I would have, I actually think I would have passed out onto the tripod. next to me and taken down a domino effect, all the cameras. And it's like, why did Brady's press conference go dark?

And it's like, oh, because Tom Brady told Charlotte an existential truth and she passed out. The tripod next year. I didn't even know Char was there. So Charlotte Wilder is a writer for SB Nation. Where can people find your stuff? You can find my stuff on SBNation. That's a weird coincidence. You can also find it on my Twitter, which is full of bad tweets and is at the Wilder Things.

The Wilder Things. Thanks for asking, Greg. You guys are great. asking you did great work at the bowl thanks man and the big game I'm sorry at the big game TM the big game team

the big game team trademark wait wait I didn't really notice were you all you could say Super Bowl in your videos right or no could you not I think so she just referred to it as the SB so people didn't know for her blog or

someone at one point asked us if we if we were Super Bowl nation and I was like well today we are the rule is that you can't you can use Super Bowl if you're covering it for like journalistic purposes, but if you're trying to, like, make money off it in some way, you have to call it. Well, those videos, those videos aren't free.

I don't know, but it's a journalistic thing. Like, if you're a mattress store, you have to call it, come to our sale for the big game. You don't want to get some sleep the next day after the big game. It's just so weird. I did not know that. Yeah, yeah. But, like, I don't get the point. It's like local blackouts.

I never understood local blackouts because they didn't sell out the game. Like, well, okay. That was the force people to come to the stadium. That's why the Blackhawks never had TV coverage under Bill Words for like a decade. It never makes any rational sense to me, though. No, I don't think it works. I mean, like, the last person has killed the fan base. I wasn't going to buy the mattress when he said big game,

but now that he said Super Bowl in the ad, Tom Brady's in the Super Bowl. I just don't understand why they do that, why they don't do, like, you know, come on down to Johnny was Johnny's Wing Hut. We're selling wings for the Big Game, wink! Like, you just add that wink afterwards, because we all know what it means. I like that's what a wink sounds like. Wink, wink, wink. All right, guys.

All right, Charlie. for coming on again. Bye. Bye. Our thanks to Charlotte Wilder for coming back and telling many tales dutifully avoiding Boston sports media controversy.

Yeah. Classic Boston Homer. The Homer, she likes Homer, she said, so therefore, there you go. Is it possible to be from Boston and not be a homer? I feel like Bill Simmons

kind of made that popular, like the whole, I love my team thing. I think he made the world safe for that kind of writer. One might say that he was the harbinger of things to come when it comes to digital writers and young writers who believe they can be forthright with their fandom. Harbinger. Yeah.

Harbinger. Yep. Harbinger. Bill, we're going to need 400 words about the Celtics. Larry Bird is a bit like Space Jam, if you think about it. Space Jam being one of the greatest movies of all time. Nairobi being perhaps the best pastor of all time, but also one of the best shooters of all time. Signs.

Sports Guy 33. That's a part that bugs me. a 33. He's a grown-ass man who still uses Larry Bird's number in his Twitter thing. Like, come on, man. Come on, Bill. Bill, we're going to need 500 words

on the socioeconomic realities of modern-day Kosovo. Kosovo reminds me a Kevin McHale. You know, Kosovo's much like the Karate Kid Part 2. There it is. There it is. You know who else is an amazing writer?

Teen Wolf. Patrick Line. Well, you know, actually my father, he was the original teen wolf in Helsinki, Finland, and he would ride around on top of vans, and he would dance around and do flips because he was a Finnish were wolf, but he never hurt anybody, and he won a basketball game. Yeah, the friend named Miko Stiles, who used to wear sunglasses all the time, and he would tell Miko Stiles to come and get him and put him inside the van, and he would play basketball all the time. And occasionally he would talk to his friend Miko Booth, his girlfriend, Miko Booth, and then they would go

who won't have adventures as the Teen Wolf. I remember when I grew up, my friends, they would always call me the Finnish karate kid. And I was trained by a nice,

kindly old man with many old cars, and he made me put the wax on the car and off the car. And that made me win the Helsinki Valley championship. And it was great. Old man's name, of course,

was Miko Miyagi, and he would always have me trim the bansai. leaves and to figure out how to do the bonsai very good and then occasionally you know i'd be chased all around town by the local dojo the co-bro kiprasoff and uh you know do the thing play call of duty that's where i i remember watching the celtics my father when harry bird stole the ball and he laid it up to dj and he laid it in and uh i said daddy i i believe the celtics are the best team in boston and he said he said i hate you i hope you don't grow up to constantly be like

this and then I played hockey and it was all good. Patrick Liney wrote a piece for the Players Tribune. No, he didn't. Hold on. Don't get ahead of yourself. Sorry. It was called Winnipeg is Good. Which, again, like, when it's called Winnipeg is good, your first inclination is that, yeah, Patrick Lone probably wrote this. That sounds very much like, like, Patrick, what do you want to name this piece you've written for the Players Tribune? Winnipeg is

good. He's lived there for almost two years, right? This is in response to all the grief that Winnipeg's taken in the last couple of months, San Jose Sharks saying that it's a horrible place to live. I think they said that. It's too dark and the Wi-Fi is terrible. Isn't this a thing also our good friend Yulia Brigaloff once said? Didn't he have a problem with the Winnipeg if I remember correctly? I'm looking forward to the coyotes potentially relocating to Winnipeg.

Vinnipeg has no parks. He's very cold. Bears everywhere. Bear men wear bears to the men who are. come bears when there is full moon. No place to hide for there are no parks, no trees. A subterranean world

of chuds who walk around of all wearing their salani jerseys and very not good and very bad and do not want to leave there. And then Patrick Laney walks in and says, actually my grandfather was a person who came here to visit me once and he

said the bears were nice. He fed the bears. The bears were very cool and I love my grandfather very much because he invented the James Bond series. Patrick Lines said in the Players Tribune in his story, Winnipeg is good. Winnipeg is good. My Wi-Fi is sick, but Wi-Fi is so important,

and maybe the most important thing. People are sometimes asking him my favorite city to visit on the road. I tell them the same thing every time. Whichever one has the fastest internet, the hotel. For example, Los Angeles, we play to Kings. I want to stay downtown. We don't know what the hotel is called, but doesn't matter. The Wi-Fi is very fast, which is very great for me and my roommate, Nick.

We're on call of duty all the time on the road. And then later on, he says. My schedule on off days is pretty simple Wake up, eat with mom Yes, I live with my mom I would explain Go to practice, practice and work out Go home, turn on my PlayStation and game

Solve cure for cancer Put out many fires of the fire engine Jesus God How long ago did we do the live show in Philly Was that like a month at this point? That was a month ago And I remember being on, we were on stage We were talking about how we're from Jersey

And people make Jersey jokes all the time Yeah And like seriously if we had to spend all of our free time defending New Jersey, like we'd never get anything done. And Winnipeg is still doing this a month later based on a thing from, it's just... So what happened was that Patrick Liney's Players Tribune thing dropped on February 6th

and really changed the world. The Players Tribune tweets out, Hey, everyone, Patrick Line has a message for you. Winnipeg is good. Sirius XM NHL Network Radio. A fun read, courtesy Patrick Liney. And then... And then so on and so forth.

Patrick Linais Clareos Tribune article made me love the man somehow even more. Patrick Line's personality on full display in the Playos Tribune article. And then Scott Billick. Who is... Is you the guy that cracked the code? He's the Winnipeg Jets correspondent for the Winnipeg son. He also works for Pro Hockey Talk with a good friend. Sean Leahy

tweeted this out re-player's Tribune story Patrick Linae says someone came to interview him and that was it he didn't write it

nor has he read the finished product so listen we all have a devil's bargain with the Players Tribune we all know how it works we do know most people in media know people that have worked

for the Players Tribune and how the sausage is made everybody does though at this point it's a bit of a magician's trick to have a player actually come out and say I didn't really write anything

But like I would never would think to ask them that Because I thought we all knew at this point Did you know? You know? Like hey Chris Hemsworth Are you really Thor? No He's pretending I get that

Why is this In this case like there were people that are just like This is the greatest thing I've ever read You know God bless Patrick Liney For coming up and standing up for the city of Winnipeg And the good people there in their Wi-Fi Maybe the Wi-Fi sucks They haven't read the Players Tribune in two years

Maybe the sharks at a point. They're like, Patrick, tell us about this, this screed you've written in defending our fair city. I did not write it. It was a thing where I talked to somebody for a few minutes,

and then all of a sudden, my grandfather invented ghost writing back in Helsinki in 1904, and I just went along with what he did. So in a roundabout way, the Players Tribune article that made Patrick Lainé even more endearing to everybody

was not written by Patrick Liney, and yet Patrick Liney is now even more endearing to everybody for having pulled back the curtain and revealed the little man with the typewriter in back of it. Wait, has Winnipeg now turned against him because they found out he didn't actually read or write

that? You know what I mean? Like, are they mad because like it's a lie? Oh yeah. They're going to throw his track suit in the hot tub. Like now someone from San Jose is going to be like, see, I told you Winnipeg isn't good because this guy lies and then there'll be another player's tribute story from Blake Wheeler where Blake Wheeler's like, oh, excuse me.

That's a little gassy. Belch Wheeler. I just hate this story so much. I hate it so much. I hate it so goddamn much. You know, Winnipeg is cold. You know what else is cold? Um, I don't know what.

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so good on Blue Apron for telling me how long I have to... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good on Blue Apron for telling me how long to cook it for. Blue Apron is treating Puck Soup listeners to $30 off your first order if you visit blue apron.com Is that $30 or 30%?

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It's a good time. Olympic start this week. Opening ceremonies are on Friday. do you care about the winter olympics this year i mean i'm i'm in a different boat because this is the first olympics in the last four or five that i've not covered and i i definitely have some fomo saw some photos from my old friends at yahoo they who were there doing the thing being on site for it is it's like winter classic syndrome like being on site for it's awesome looking in on the outside of the time difference i'm not as siced as i normally would be

well the gold medal game is supposed to be at one a m right whatever day it is like i can deal with that i can watch that if it's like a u.s canada u.s sweden thing i'll stay up that but I mean I'm not watching Rout Robin games I'm not gonna do that but I'm not a huge Olympics guy I like the winter way more than summer summer Olympics are terrible like people are tweeting for hours on end about fucking horse dancing like what are we doing

like why do we care like which country has the best horse dancer it's called dressage I believe dressage is that mean you have a fucking fucking makes me so much Winter Olympic sports ranked top five here we go figure skating one right no I don't care I really don't

You don't watch figure skating? I like curling. I like speed skating. Hockey, obviously. Like, some of the skiing stuff I watch. But, like, yeah. I have a theory why curling hasn't caught on here in the States. I know that it's sort of like bigger now and kitschier.

And I know that people in like Minnesota and North Dakota, instead of like going bowling, they go curling or whatever. But like, you know how you go to the movies to see people that look like Gal Gadot and not necessarily to see people who look like Paul Giamati? I feel like curling suffers the same problem. In what way? In the way that I look at a curler and I see myself but I want to see someone who looks like

Oh, you know. Oh, because you're because the end of the... I want to see someone who looks like They're not athletes, like Michael Phelps. You know, like an athlete. So you're more into the ripped bods that you are. I'm saying the guy I was watching last night and mixed curling

had a mustache that looked like he had been growing it since middle school. Have you seen Phil Kessel with those shirt on? Come on, man. And also, well, that's why he was left off of Team USA. It doesn't fit the physical ideal. And then also he had a kind of a belly over his belt. Good for him. And I don't, I think that's why, I don't think that's why it doesn't catch on here.

That should make it more relatable. People don't want to see themselves in the Olympics. No, that's, that's everything in entertainment. We always want to see ourselves up there. You want to live vicariously through every sport has dudes like that. Like football, linemen, basketball. I mean, everyone in basketball. Yeah, but those are the exceptions to the rule in those sports.

We all like Phil. Everyone in curling isn't fat. Because we all know that Phil doesn't look like Ovec. Well, okay. Phil doesn't look like who be the ideal, the physical ideal right now. Who's the specimen? Sagan, I guess, or somebody like that right now. Most hockey dudes aren't really big and jacked, though.

Like, I remember it was the first time I covered hockey. I was so jarred by that. Like, Nick Lidstrom is a perfectly physically fit human being. You would ever seem to be like, oh, what's up with that? But, like, he's just like a wiry sort of guy. You don't need to be jacked. It's always been my opinion that one of the reasons Rick D.P. show kept on getting hurt was because he was too jacked.

That guy had a fucking shit brick house body. Oh, did he? Yeah, he was belt. But my point is is that everybody in curling looks like that dude with the mustache I saw last night. You need to have exceptions. You need to have a guy who looks like John Ham. And then there's also a guy who looks like me. Boy, I had no idea how you viewed sports through that brain of yours.

What do you mean? Like, you're watching sports and you're like, yeah, he's good at all, but I wouldn't do them. Don't you think that darts would be more popular? if the people throwing darts darts, it looked like fucking Bob the goon from Batman and instead they look like, you know, John Hamm. Like that should make your,

that should make like the whole gold medal Olympic thing more attainable to you and more like realistic and more easy to connect with. Are you saying because they look like me, I should feel like I can win a gold medal because I could sweep in front of a rock.

But they don't. Yeah, like there's people. I got to watch curling more closely because I feel like you're imputing the entire curling world based on the American team. Yeah. We lost the Canada.

today. Didn't we blow it in the last end? We were playing Russia in the mixed series. I don't know if that's who we lost to or not.

I could have sworn I saw this morning we lost to Canada. I don't know if it was men's women's mix or whatever. Are there men's women's mix? I mean,

listen, I find there to be something appealing about normal everyday Joe's getting a chance of the Olympic glory because they can sweep in front of a rock and make it go fast

and they're basically playing shuffleboard. It's great. I love the sweeping part of it when they scream at each other. At the same time, I am, when I watch the Olympics, I'm looking, I'm more impressed by seeing athletes do something

that I can't do. And now here's the part where somebody, you know, tweets and like, I'll take you curling. I'll show you how hard it is. I'm sure it's very hard to sweep in front of a rock. Yeah, curling's hard as hell, man. You got to like, obviously you and I, as we've come to realize, we're shuffleboard champions. We've defeated the best Canada has to offer in various bars throughout the area. But now it's Olympic time.

So the Olympics are great. The Olympics are fine enough. Winter over, or winter over summer. Oh, by the way, to finish my top five, figure skating hockey, downhill skiing. Ski jumping is cool, too. Ski jumping is good, too. I'm not a fan of, like, Luge, skeleton, or bobsled. Yeah, like, those are tough.

It's like, you know what? That's like the hardest shot in the NHL skills where, like, yeah, they have the little timer thing there that tells you where they're plus minus, but it's just like a rocket ship going down a thing. Yeah, I feel like it's like watching a matchbox car on one of those plastic loopy loops that you get. The dirt box, not dirtbox, what's it called? A dirt box? A dirt box? A soapbox.

Soapbox. What? You don't have dirt boxes? Boxes fill the dirt? Sounds like a real Taylorham pork rolls. Dirt box soapbox. The trend fucking whatever. The baseball team.

Yeah. They're the pork roll. I know. I hope that team goes under. Dead to me. I'm mad. Oh, South Jersey. The question of the week for all of you was what city would you like to see most have a championship celebration?

We tried to keep it open-ended so it wasn't just hockey. But most of them, I think, are pretty much hockey. Well, somebody said Mexico City. Okay, that's not hockey. I don't know what's going to happen there for, I guess, like, the Mexican national team, soccer? Sure, why not? James Palmer says Vinnipeg, so it can rain on that parade, vindicating the sharks, and thumbing Paul Maurice's nose on the best day of his life. So he's predicting bad weather for the eventual Winnipeg Stanley Cup this year.

In June? I mean, Winnipeg in June is probably fine. Matt Slater says Buffalo. You think the Bill's Mafia is crazy? just give that city one championship and see what happens. See, we have Pat Clark and a lot of people said Vegas. And I'm totally on board because Vegas, the way the strip is set up with all the overpasses and places to stand, it's like the ideal and like all the casinos and everything. It's the perfect place for a parade.

Austin. Austin Stewart says, honestly, the coyotes would be pretty funny. Like four guys show up to watch the most mediocre parade. Two of them want to buy the team. waving money at the players God Vancouver Vegas Everyone said

Sudbury Thunder Bay from Mike Camito I was a fan of this one Chris in the 6 says Philly because he wouldn't want to see Claude Drew with a shit-eating grin based on what we've seen in Philly in the last 24 hours Why?

Why why would somebody ate dog shit Oh shit eating Or horse shit it was right? I don't think the guy really did either Still Content Exactly There's good content

the Leafs for Patrick Marlowe from four paws up for hockey. Patrick Marlowe is on pace for like 35 points this year. No one's talking about that. Michael Atkinson says Miami just to see what incentives they provide to increase the number of spectators. We'll let you own part of the Miami Marlins if you just come on out to the parade. Tom says, we threw a party for a first round win, so imagine what it would be like if the Whalers won the cup. So definitely Hartford. See, this one bugs me.

This guy says Montreal, not just because I'm a fan, but as Marrick has said, they do that stuff right in two places. Buckingham Palace and the Bell Center. Yeah, because... Do people forget about what happened in Montreal and they won the Cup? I mean... They were Vancouver before Vancouver was Vancouver. Right, and like this idea that only two places can do things awesomely, and one of them is the birth... Come on.

Come on. Come on. Devil's had a parade in their parking lot. The devil's had three parades in their parking lot. Do you remember, though, at one point, there was talk about the Devils doing a Stanley Cup celebration. whistle stop tour through New Jersey on New Jersey Transit. I don't know that. Yeah, there was some talk of that at one point. Which one? Probably the second one, because they're like, we can't do this shit in a parking lot again.

We got ridiculed like nobody's fucking business. Fucking parking lot was hilarious. I loved it, man. They bought the cup in a helicopter that one time. They actually had a full parade and like convertibles and sports cars around the edge of the swamp. Yeah. It was great. That was the first time, because I was like 17, I was the first time I realized like all hockey players pretty much have like the hottest wives ever

Boy howdy I couldn't like I could not get over Claude I was like wow Claude Lemieux Oh my God Wow Stefan Rishi Oh my god Is this like it

And then yeah Yeah Yeah that's But according to you If their wives were frumpier Then you'd want to be a hockey player more Because you could relate More to the hockey players

No as an unattractive man I related way more to the hockey players Than anybody else I was like wow this is great If only my town at a hockey program I'm growing up. All right. Well, that is another epic episode of Puck Soup.

Thanks to Charlotte Wilder for coming in and telling us many things about the Super Bowl and such. And you can find me at Wyshinsky on Twitter. And you can find all of my writings at ESPN.com. Slash-G-H-N-Wishinsky? Slash-G-H-Nach. There's an oomlot. And then also a schwa. But mostly just go to ESPN.com and click on NHL, and you can find my stuff there.

Is it work now or, like, you can click on your name? like your byline and then it takes you all your stuff. I remember trying to do that with like Pierre LeBron back in the day and it would take me to like everything. Like here's like an AP wire story on like the Winnipeg Jets line combinations and the more like I was just like I just take me to the notes. No, that's about right. Yeah, I'm not going to do all other stuff.

You know where I am. All right. Thanks, everybody. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Today's episode of Puck Soup was sponsored by Health IQ. Health IQ believes that the best way to improve the health of the world is to celebrate the health conscious. through social and financial rewards.

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sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons we've got sportly comments. to whatever you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, It's in tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nonsense. Borku. Bork, too.