Puck Soup - Free Agent Idiocy

Episode Date: July 6, 2017

In our season finale until our inevitable summer editions, Greg and Dave break down all the big free agent signings in the NHL, from Kevin Shattenkirk to Alex Radulov to Karl Alzner; the state of the Washington Capitals; the Ilya Kovalchuk affair; new contracts for Carey Price and Connor McDavid; cheap old players; a steroids in baseball debate; Pierre McGuire gets even weirder; the big changes at Fox Sports 1; a massive disagreement over BABY DRIVER (warning: spoilers, so skip ahead if needed) and reader mail that covers food and the best and worst of Greg's impressions. Presented by Audible!

Now entering nerdist.com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to whatever you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, eats and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hockey and Nonsense. I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy blog. An Oath Presentation. Schlemco

And you're in Puck Soup Thanks again everybody who went to the live show At Union Hall in Brooklyn The episode that you listened to last It was awesome I had such a fun time Everybody was really cool I still think about Shlemco

I'm just like a quiet point in my day I'm in my kitchen Like waiting for something to get done Markoving and I'm like Shlemco The Devils So good And he said it

For those who maybe didn't miss the show We played the roster game, street fighter, colon, tournament edition, colon, the roster game. And we had a guy on who won the game and then basically said, like, he could name 10 more current New Jersey Devils or Devils from the previous season's roster. Right. The joke was, was like, we're going to give you a really hard roster now. And it was the 16, 17 Devils. Right, because who knows even with that. And the room really responded. The room laughed goddamn hard at that joke. That's all good. But then, but then, like, everyone was like, oh, he can't do four. Overrunners four and a half. I'll go over five, and then he looks at me on the stage.

This is the thing you can't see on the podcast is that he looks right at me on the other side of the stage and goes, I can do 10. Right. And there's like a real sort of Mori Popicci and Jerry Springerian moment of like, ooh, from the crowd. And so we're just like, okay, go ahead, let's let this guy have his moment because he already won. He only got to do like, because Pete the retailer was bad at that. So he was like, I can do it. I can do 10.

All right, let him do his 10, and then let's get on with the show. He just looks right at me the same way he did originally, and he just goes, Schlemko. And I don't know if the microphones picked it up, but the way, like, it sort of, like, filtered through the crowd, the realization that he fucked up the first one possible. Yeah. The realization of the crowd that he fucked up, it was almost as if he had said, like, mooky blaylock, and like the crowd was just like the same reaction.

Just like, no. Of all. Roger Clemens. Of all the people. Roger Clemens is all the devils. He said, George is. blocks! He's in George's box! There's a couple people sitting here the stage.

I can just see the looks on their faces at research Schlemco, like, oh. It was like a bunch of Jim Halpert moments happening at once where they all kind of looked over at each other, like, really? Yeah, and again, I think him so... Chris, I think it was, right? Chris? Yeah, Chris deserves so much credit because for as long as this stupid

podcast goes on, the word Schlemco is going to be like... Oh, it's just so good. We'll use it as a verb. We'll use it as an adjective. We'll use it as an verb. We'll use it in every moment possible to now describe that. It's a Schlemko is a moment of unbridled hubris that ends in crushing disappointment. Like, like in the 2002 Western Conference final game six when Patrick Waugh raised his glove, right, he pulled the Schlemko because he didn't have the puck

in the glove. He totally Schlemcoed that play. Right. And poor Schlemco, who's a good defenseman, is not going to have his name associated with this, but don't worry, he's never going to listen to Lala Land was Schlemcoed at the Oscar. When that guy got up there And he had to say Moonlight Well that was a very Schlemcovean moment When I got tricked into going to see Baby Driver I got Schlemcode

We'll talk about that To see in a movie that Stay tuned for that. You people need to The other news vis-a-vis live shows By the way, since that one went so well And again we thank you all for that It was a hot room

And by that I mean It felt like the service of Mercury in there So thanks for sweating with us It was a hot one Like seven inches from Like seven inches from Satan's taint. From the hot lights on the stage.

We're going to do more of them. The next one we have coming up is in September. It's September 7th in the century of the hockey universe, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The century. At the ravioli, or the rivoli, sorry. You might want to know the name of the venue. That's actually how Canadians spell ravioli. They use all the different spellings for things.

That's all that place. It's an Italian restaurant. It's little tiny French fries inside of the pasta. A little bit of gravy in there, too. That's actually a perogi, isn't it? You just put a potato inside? That's a parogi. At the Rivoli in Toronto, September 7th.

This is a Puck Talks presentation. I think it's a Wednesday, too, right? Yeah, it's a Wednesday. 332 Queen Street in Toronto. The important information you need to know is you go to Puck Talks Live on Twitter or Puck Talks Live, just search it out on your internet. The early bird tickets for the show. show are sold out. I don't know what that means, but it sounds good. Now they have less than 50%

left for a show that is months away. And so get your tickets now if you want to see us in Toronto. And then Dave and I are noodling through going to L.A., going to, like, Philly and D.C. in a couple other places, too. It's like, it's like, we're like a, we're like a five guys before five guys got big and we got to figure out how far we can extend ourselves and still actually You're going to be in the outer banks and all of a sudden you're going to be like, what the fuck fucking puck soups here? The hell's puck soup doing over here? How do they even?

How do they even? Cole Harbor. How can they afford to even come up to Cole Harbor to do a show in front of nine people? It's going to say. It's wild. Sydney Crosby and Nathan McKinnon featuring Puck Soup on the sign. Yeah, we'll play the Sydney Crosby like with actual Sydney Crosby. Let's begin the show.

I know there's a lot to get to, obviously, all the free agent news and what have you, but we obviously have to begin. with the biggest news of the past week, which is Pierre McGuire on TSN. Oh, I thought you were segwaying into the ad. No, talking about Jeff O'Neill's girth. Oh, God, I avoided this for six days. Here's the clip from TSN.

Iconic Canadian bearded men, Joe Thornton and Brent Burns, faced off naked for the ESPN body issue. Pierre LeBron saying he turned down the ESPN's request. I'll thank just thank you for that which of our colleagues oh gosh which of our colleagues

would you nominate to appear in next year's body issue if the last question was there are all good answers this question I don't know if that's any James James Jeff O'Neill with my comrade

Jeff O'Neill and the biggest reason why there's so much to see they couldn't find a hockey stick big enough to protect the girth that's right so I think it'd be Oh, wow. I got a little personal there.

Yeah. Little indeed. There's lots on pack here. See, again, this is what happens when people who aren't good at being funny try to be funny, because he starts off great. He's like, he's got a lot of girth, which generally at that point means his whole body. But then he says he has a stick that won't be able to protect. Protect the girth. Yeah.

Once you have the stick part of it, you're referencing covering up his dick. Right. That's the point. That's bad. He went from, right. It was a fat joke that then became an awkward double entendre about what we all see in the body issue is that people using their equipment to cover their equipment. Right. It's like angles for masking the genitalia.

And now I got to think about Jeff O'Neill's genitalia in relation to a Bauer hockey stick. Can you believe? Didn't you just say how good Pierre did studio do recently? He said the stick. They couldn't find a stick big enough to protect the girth. Like he's saying he's got a huge horse cock. Right. So imagine sitting next to someone so bad at comedy

that they try to insult you for being fat and they end up complimenting you for having a huge cock. Maybe it was because he realized that Jeff Oneo could snap him in half during the next commercial break and he was like, oh fuck, say he's dick's big, say his dick's big. It's not. It's just he's terrible at comedy. Oh, yeah.

He was like, he was like, this is your guy. Like, I'm going to make fun of this guy's fat belly and I'm going to talk about it's not a stick that can protect his fat belly. And then like you turn it around it. And, like, I'm sure at no point during that thing, did Pierre sit back and be like, was like, wait, did I just tell him out of horse cock? Talked Eddie back when he was playing hockey for the Carolina Hurricanes, he actually named the hurricane after his cock.

Hurricane Jeff O'Neill's cock. Horse cock. I'll take that guy in a trifecta 134 at the fourth at Belmont. Oh, my. That's a super effective if you ask me. Andrew McCutcheon has left the building, much like the way my lunch has left my stomach after thinking about Jeff O'Neill's cock.

Oh, my. You can hide that thing behind a waffle board. That would protect the girth. It would also leave some really weird grooves in there because of the stripes on the waffle board. And I know, you're right. We literally just said at the live show that Pierre would be fine in the studio.

Not we. That's not we this. I don't want Pierre McGuire on my TV ever again. I will still take weird, freaky sexual Pierre over trivia boss tell me where the guy played his middle school hockey

Pierre during play let him come out for the draft he's great for the draft other than that like it's like what's an example

I like the idea let him come out for the draft like he keep him in a cabinet the rest of the time and he just emerges like Nothferrat too treat him like like fucking Mel Kuyper

and Todd McShay just like you know when like college football season is going on they'll be like hey where should this guy blah blah blah And Tom McShay is like, you should go in the second round.

And Melchiper's like, you should go in the first round. Like, do that for Pierre. It's like, hey, you know, draft's coming up in a couple weeks. We got Nolan Patrick here. Where do you think no one should go? And then let him do his thing. And then when the draft comes, he sits there for four hours, jerking it to fucking the Halifax Mooseheads fucking coursey.

And then you never put him on TV for another 365 days. It's a great plan. Speaking of great plans, our sponsor today for this. We're not there yet. I want to keep people on their toes. Speaking of dicks. Mashable recently printed the sex toy were world rankings, the top 20 countries that, this is for yearly sex toy searches per 1,000 internet users. Searches?

This is by like, so it's searches per 1,000 internet users for sex toys. You want to venture a guest at the, guess at the horniest country vis-a-vis their interest in Phildos? Japan. Oh, that's a great answer. Is that not right, though? It's not even in the top 20, though. Wow. Not even the top 20.

So how is that a great answer then? Because I never even conceived of it, but you're right. No, you know what it is is Japan's more open, so they don't have to, like, search for it. They just go outside and they just go buy one. Right. You got to have, like, a sexually repressed country. And I wonder if they were actually talking about searching sex, like, the frit. Because in Japan, it'd be like sex robot.

So it's possible. It's possible this wouldn't even apply to them. Like they have, like, the Krieger anime thing from Archer. They have, like, everybody has that already. They don't need. They don't need anything else. All right. Okay.

Any guess? It can't be the U.S. because that's too obvious. I'll say Finland. Finland is... Cold up there. Number 16. But you were in the right part of the world.

Denmark is number one. Denmark? Yeah. Danes. Dains would be down. But like... I guess it's per a thousand. Number two, to nobody's surprise.

Sweden. Come on now. Yeah, I figured the Scandinavians were all doing. Freaky. beautiful people. Just dildos and electric vaginas as far as what do we do now?

Let's get some other That country is so beautiful It's unbelievable Like it did We may have talked about this already But you know that you know in Last Action Hero When he goes inside the movie And like every woman is a model

That's what Sweden was like I was like I could not believe it Like I remember like meeting like Hanging out with some like random local guys at the bar And I was like oh my god that girl over there's beautiful And she's like she's like a four here I'm like, no, she's not. She is not a four.

Everything's fine until Charles Dance shows up with a glass out with a target on it. And then someone falls in the Libre of Tar Pits. God, I hate that movie so much. I would say that when I saw that movie, me and my friends actually stayed into the, into the close, through the closing credits to boo the name of Austin O'Brien, the kid in that movie because I thought he was simply one of the worst child actors I've ever seen. Oh my God. And he was in my girl, my girl too. He was in one of the my girls of the my girls in the my girls cinematic universe. In the My Girl Cinematic Universe, where he...

Is Veep in the My Girl Cinematic Universe and Santa Chomsky's on both shows? If you put Baby Driver in the horrible bosses universe, it's actually kind of tolerable because... That's actually an interesting thought, the Jamie Fox connection. Jamie Fox and Kevin Spacey are there. All right. Denmark, Sweden, Greenland. Because what else do you have to do in Greenland? Oh, so is like Iceland in there, too, I guess?

No. But then the Americans... So we're fifth? We're fourth, and then the UK is fifth. God, we're not even number one at searching for sex toys anymore. What happened to us? I know that we... It's once great land.

I know that we have a lot of Canadian listeners. Canada did not make the top 20 insofar as searching for sex toys on the internet. Hmm. I figure, like, if we were fifth, they'd be, like, ninth or something. Here's why I have my theory. What are Canadians? What do we know about Canadians? They had used all their words.

They used a metric system. them. No. They don't win Stanley Cups anymore. What we're looking for is the word resourceful.

They probably just use what's hanging around the house. They need to search for sex toys? I mean they're just like fucking beaver peltz in their house? Beaver felt,

you know, an eggplant. You can fucking eggplant? Hold on. Let me Google that. Listen, if you could dodge a wrench. So USA is fourth

in the sex toy rankings Canada didn't get in the top 20, which means that they search for sex toys less than Ireland. which is surprising Give me the bottom five Bottom five of the top 20

France, Finland, Switzerland, Greece, Ireland, Austria which is six But I added one to it So it's basically Seamus Oh Seamus WWW Dildos

Oh my God That's actually This is how my dad That's why my dad That's why my dad searched for shit on the internet Like my dad's Like my dad's lawnmower broke down Like like like he would go to

He would be like all right WWW Dot broken lawnmower Dot com I just assume that's where it is He's probably he's probably got so much Mallware, spyware Everything on his on his on his

On his on his on his AOL account no less And that's how he searches for stuff To find stuff www. Everly Brothers Concertickets.com. www. www. need an eggplant bad.

com Oh, no. And then like it takes you to some site. It's my mom. Wait. The eggplant, but like the eggplant is a dick in emoji world.

That's right. But you can fuck. Oh, you're talking about putting the eggplant inside. I thought you were talking about like apple pieing. Are you talking about you actually thought it meant hollowing out an eggplant?

That's what I thought you were going on. It has like a fleshlight? Eggplant's huge. You're not going to have. Yeah, but listen, I'm practicality. But it's not like, it's not like a bell pepper. Like, an eggplant is solid. In my defense, I'm a guy who has a dick.

So when you say something is a sex toy, I'm imagining where my dick goes in it. And I'm like, oh, an eggplant. But you know what I'm saying? You'd have to get in there with like a, like a, you'd have to like drill in there. Drill baby drill in the words of the great Sarah Phelan. I'm just, I'm just saying. I saw like a video the other day where someone turned the carrot into a bong, man. You can do anything with fruit.

It would be so much easier to fuck a bell pepper than it would an eggplant. Oh, that's dangerous, man. That's, that's, come on. A bell pepper? I mean, listen, I'm not saying, a bell pepper, the problem is that you're dealing with, it's small, it's squattier. Yeah, it's not, it's not going to work for me. It's not going to work for me. Right. For me. I was waiting for that. Wink. Wink. It wouldn't work for me either. It wouldn't work for me. It wouldn't work for me. A blessing, though.

Please send us pictures of all the fruit you fucked in your life. You can't. You have to really do something. and work on an eggplant to make it fleshlight compatible. You put anything in the microwave long enough. It gets soft. That's all I'm saying. That's true. It's going to be a long, lonely summer.

I don't know. You probably need some level of instruction manual. And you know what? If you're looking for any kind of book, might I suggest strapping on a pair of headphones and listening to what Audible has to offer. Calling an Audible here. Support for today's show comes from Audible.

Audible content includes an unmatched selection of audiobooks, original audio shows, news, comedy, and more from the leading publishers, broadcasters, entertainers, and business information providers. Unlike a streaming rental service, with Audible, you own your own books, so you can access them anytime, anywhere from almost any device. That's your iPhone, your iPad, Android, Amazon Fire, tablets, Windows phone, your toaster, your smart fridge. Pretty much everywhere you want to go. Are you just doing a Silicon Valley recap now? By the way, the smart fridge resolution was genius.

And I know a lot of people didn't like the season overall because it's become entourage. We've talked about it on the show before. Yeah, you know what's weird is it's been entourage since season one. And you were an early adopter of that notion. Like I've heard people say like, oh, this season was very, like, no, every season has been. Right. But I like the smart fridge resolution. Plus, thanks to the great list and guarantee, if you don't like your title, you can swap it for a new one. Not to mention audible channels, gives you a collection of exclusive originals, short stories, and comedy.

So you always have something new to listen to. I'm looking forward to the audiobook experience this summer. I am a podcast guy. I am also an audiobook guy. I am going to probably consume hopefully a few comedy books that have come out recently. Maybe they've got little Amy Polar action

kicking around there. You're like a stanza now. You're so used to the e-book or to the audiobook. Maybe I'll get a little Tina Fey bossy pants thing. I never read it, read it, so maybe they have a little audio action there. I think there's an audio book for everything.

I believe there is. You know where you should go for that. What you want to do is you can get yourself a free audio book with a 30-day trial at www. Audible.com slash puck

P-U-C-K that's Audible.com slash puck for a free audio book with your 30-day trial. So do check it out. It's the summertime and you'll get the pool.

Give an audiobook a listen and go to Audible for said product. So thanks for your sponsoring the show today. Audible. I'm just reading your wife's mentions and how they're just savaging you

over this. It's just fucking great. Ruby decided tell the world today that I was against the idea of her getting a Kindle to which I received when she said I'm going to get a Kindle I said Oh okay so you can you do that

And I'll read real books and I fully Understand the concept of the fact that Dave and I And Down Goes Brown wrote an ebook Which Down Goes Brown has pointed out to Ruby in the comments And I pointed it out to Ruby as well But when it comes I was I was trying to make the point That in the summertime when the weather is fine I'm going to be at the beach

I am a very fair skin man I will load up on the the sun tan lotion and the and the all the the the I use a spray a spray of sun tan a sunblock

I am very sloppy so I will undoubtedly drop food and or drinks on my belly as well and I will rest a book on my belly now I would not want to rest a tablet on my belly for fear of getting electrocuted so that's the issue for me

I would rather soak the bottom pages of a book than run the risk of electrocuting myself with a tablet on my chest. So does everybody get that mental image, folks? Greg on the beach. Picture Chris Christie, but with less of everything. Boy, that was a sad day on Twitter because I missed the whole beginning of it. And then like I refresh my Twitter and my top tweet was from someone that said, man, my timeline is nothing but Chris Christie beach photos. And I was like, oh no. every refresh was like playing Russian roulette until I finally got to it and I was like

and you know what you know what a guy who has a 15% approval rating should totally say yeah when you get caught basically being the biggest fucking hypocrite on the planet and you know inconveniencing the entire state and then taking advantage of it for yourself and your family the thing you should definitely say is well you know what all you become the governor and then you could do what I did today technically I didn't get any son because I was wearing a hat That's a great lie. The other great line, too, is when his spokesperson was like, the girl in MSWC is like, like, so that day, the other day, did he get some son?

Yeah. And he's like, what day? Like, what day? How dare you, sir? I feel like politics has really fallen apart over the last, like, few decades in one specific area, and that's, like, lying. No one even works at it anymore. Right.

Because they just know you're going to take it and you're going to fucking like it. It's like your parents giving you vegetables. I don't want this dinner. Well, fuck you. It's what you're getting. It's the alternative reality. It is, it is you, you are now allowed in every facet of life to have your own set of facts, which is because we're all grown up children.

And when you're a child and you do something bad and you get caught, you just literally say, I don't think so. I don't know. Wasn't me. There's some other boys. This goes back to family circus. They actually had a character, a ghost named not me, that would follow the children around. And they would blame him this ghost for all.

of their problems. I don't remember that. I don't really remember the family circus plots of our characters that well at all. That was one of their, that was basically their days of future past. It was a very famous arc in the family circus. We're currently in an alternate reality now where people think Baby Driver was an awesome movie. We're not talking about that yet. The Washington Capitals are in a full free fall collapse.

Brian McClellan is one of my favorite people to talk to because he is extraordinarily candid. It's not that bad. About the way of the world with his team. He was the first guy to work for the Capitals and acknowledge the fact that when it's a game seven, you walk into the building and feel the tension and the shinkers clenching and know that you're going to lose

as soon as you walk into the building. And he literally said when he was talking about the Hikinnikuznetsoff, eight-year $7.8 million contract extension and the trade of Marcus Johansson, he literally said, we went all in last year. We took our shot. You know, we took our shot.

But you didn't have to re-sign OSHA. And we failed. Yeah, I understand. And now we have to pay the consequences. But, like, you don't have to pay OSHA. You have to pay the consequences. Why is everybody down on that OSHA deal? Explain to me why you don't like that contract, other than the term, which will never fulfill.

I'd rather have Joe Hanson. I'd rather have Joe Hansen than T. Absolutely. I completely disagree with you. With all due respect. But, like, Johansen is younger. I completely agree. I think that that year we saw from him last year was the APA.

pecks of what he can do. And I think O'Shee does a lot more. I think he plays in different situations. I think he's a top line guy. I know Johanza's been there in the past, but I think he worked really well with Ovechkin and Baxter. Yeah. I think I like O'Shey better than Johansson. I don't think that's a bad contract. It's a bad contract. It's a bad contract eventually, but you're just going to compliance buy it out, clearly. So you're telling me in three years, if he scores 80 goals in his next three years, they're just going to automatically buy it out? No way. They'll

be like, well, we're going to just deal with it later. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we could have it both ways. It's a shitty contract, buddy, if he scores 80 goals, then... Well, it's a shitty contract because he's not going to be good for eight years. But hold on, but if he scores 80 goals the next three years, then it's a really good contract, isn't it? Even if the last five years, he scores 52? Well, you're paying for now.

You're... Why are you paying for now? Because of Vetchkin's 31. But you just said that... You just said they went backwards. You just said they're free fall in what you just said. They've mismanaged it. Now who wants it both ways?

I don't want it both ways. ways. I want it one way. Much like with the eggplant. I believe we could have it both ways for men and women. Look, I think the OSHA contract is fine. You had to go give them term to get the cap hit under six, and they can make the contract go away probably when they have the lockout and they have compliance buyouts. Do the caps have that kind of god money, though? Hold on, but the problem with the Johansen situation is the fact they misplayed it. Like, they waited until past the expansion draft and past the NHL draft and well into free agency. to try to make this deal. And what they needed to find was a team

that had a roster spot open that wasn't going to require them to take a contract back because this was a cap deal and had, you know, commiserate draft picks. And one of the only teams that fit the bill is the Devils.

Why wouldn't Toronto do it? Why would Toronto rather have Patrick Marlow for three years as opposed to... Because Marlowe's... Because Marlowe's a different fit. It's pretty clear that they think that he's a better player

and it's pretty clear that they feel like his... He's not. mentorship, along with the addition to Hainesie and the addition to Dominic Moore, that part kills me. Feels like it's more important than what a guy like Johansson would give him. Why is he laughing at the mentorship thing? And I agree.

Because the other thing the Capitals didn't do, hold on, the other thing the Capitals didn't do, and I asked McClellan this. We're bringing in Thurman Thomas to teach these teams how to win Super Bowls. Come on. What are you doing? What are you doing? I asked him about Brooks Orpick. Like, why don't you buy out Brooks Orpick?

You buy out Brooks Orpick, and all of a sudden you can give Johannes. He seemed like, it was funny. He was like, I hadn't thought of that. But then he realized, but then he immediately told you how many years he was contract would have been on the cap. He thought about it. He should have done it. It would have been a $3 million saving in each of the next two years.

And then 1.5, something around that neighborhood penalty in the following two years. But like that was what they should have done. Yeah, they surely should have done that. And part of the reason they kept them was to be a mentor, they said. Like, oh, we think he's going to be. He played really well with Nate Schmidt. And now we're going to use them as a mentor for these other young defensemen. Yeah, for 5.4 or whatever it is.

Yeah. That's insane. And then you had to get rid of a top six forward to keep this guy around. Fucking Reg Dunlop, player coach. Like he's fucking Charles Xavier teaching the kids how to fucking harness their powers. He's a shitty 33-year-old defenseman. Like, you've got to make decisions. Now, Nate.

Perhaps you should go for their knees more. I find it's better to not actually skate after anybody because you're too slow. I once had a man named Sean Thornton who tried to come after me and punch me in the face. I turned my back to him and absorbed the punch and he was suspended. I suggested you the same should you find yourself in a similar situation. Brooks Orpick is a good leaping off point for why the Dan Girardi contract is so bad. Dan Gerardi two years, three million per year. Which is amazing because every other player that was bought out as Dan Girardi was only signed for a million.

A million for a year. Never mind many years. That would necessitate a multi-year deal. But here's the thing about the Dan Gerardi contract. It's like Brooks Orpick. You will not notice Brooks Orpick over 82 games. You will win consecutive president's trophies with Brooks Warpick on the ice for regular ice time. That's a third pairing guy. Yeah. Dan Girardi, same thing. You will not notice him for 82 games. But if you're a cup contender like the caps or the lightning, you can't hide him in the second, third, and fourth round of the playoffs. He's going to get matched up against players that are going to eat. him alive and that's going to be the difference between winning and losing. Are you saying that Mike Sullivan would notice when Dan Gerardi's on the ice and he would put out his best players against said Dandarotti? I feel like I feel like even fucking Mark, Michelle Tarian would fucking know to put Max Patcheretti out there against fucking Dan Gerardi.

It's in two years of our in-house analytics show he's bringing us something that we don't have. What, cement? Like, are you fucking kidding? That was the, that Eisenhower-Eason. Eisenman literally said that their analytics said something different. than what the rest of the world saw. And what the rest of the world can see is that when he is away from the guys that carry him, he's really bad.

And the other thing, too, is like, okay, he's going to be a third pairing guy. And Steve Eiserman's like, yeah, we can see him playing with Victor Headman? Can you picture like Victor Headman here in that quote? Like, wait, wait, hold on. I have Anton Straulman on my team. I have Slater Cuckoo. I have all these other guy. Wait, you're going to wrap that guy around my waist and make me skate around with him for 28 minutes a night?

Why? It's a weird-ass contract. I agree. That was a bizarre signing. Not the worst. The worst we both agree, I think, is the Kulikov contract with Winnipeg. No, the Dan Girardi contract's the worst. I say it's Kulikov. Three years for a guy that should have gotten a one-year show-me contract

after bottoming out in Buffalo is insane. No, I agree. It's bad. Yeah, it's a bad contract. But I believe Dmitri Kulikov can put one skate in front of the other and move. Yeah. Like, Dan Girardi can't move. And for those who don't know, like, David and I cover the Rangers. So we've seen it. This is not simply just like Twitter

hyperbole. Like, we've seen this guy play. He's, like, he's a bad defenseman now. He's, like, okay, he's in New York, he's playing against two tough a competition. And in Tampa, he's going to be sheltered, which let's say they do that. Again, the playoffs are going to be a different story. If you're Tampa, you care about the playoffs where they're the 82 games. But, like, the stuff he's bad at, it doesn't matter if it's the first line or the third line. He can't exit his zone. He can't make a first pass. It doesn't matter if you're out there against Sidney Crosby. You're out there against Nick Benino. He can't move around those guys. So I don't know what Tampa's going to do, especially Tampa. Tampa, Tampa's a fast team.

Tampa's still, even though they got rid of Jordan. Like, I don't know. I just, I, I, I, uh, back, back to the caps real quick. Like, listen, I think this is still a playoff team. Oh, for sure. But, I mean, they've got $5 million against the cap left. They lost the top six forward. They lost two defensemen. Um, three defensemen, including Schmidt. Like, I don't, this is a real pickle. Like, their, their blue line is not very impressive right now. Niskin and Orpick, Orloff, Carlson, and then, you know, they're going to have to go with kids to fill in the blanks.

Like, I would rather have overpaid Carl Alasner as opposed to overpaying T.J. O'Shea, I think. I think you could make the argument. I mean, as rough as all as it was last year, I'm still a guy that thinks that it takes a player a year to get through the hernia surgery stuff. I think he's got a little bit more left than people think. And that might be just my bias, because I think

he's a good, he's a good dude. And I think he's been a dependable defendable defenseman of the past. But I did not hate that signing by the Habs as much as others did. And again, five years 4.625 against the cap. The fifth year makes you a little mental. I agree.

It's a bit much. But he's not a bad defenseman. They're just not a cup team, so it's like, okay, so they lose in the first round in seven instead of five. The only issue I take with it is that they clearly need more offense from their blue line. Yes, they need more offense and speed everywhere. And they got true end, and you're like, great, great.

They know what they're doing. And they're like, oh, I don't think we need Andre Marcoff anymore. But let's get a less offensive blue line if we could possibly do that. I thought the perfect place for an Alderman to go was going to be to Buffalo, where he would be with like a Ritzelan or, you know, the Flyers, where maybe he's with an Agassas bear. Like, he would be a great guy to match up with a younger, better skating offensive defense. And much like he was a great partner for Carlson, this one just seems like it's a weird fit. Doesn't make sense. Yeah.

I mean, it makes sense because he's a dependable defender. but it doesn't make sense vis-a-vis the construction of the team. Right. Right. And also, like, another one that's going to go under the radar, you won't think about all regular season, is Alexei Emel into Nashville. He's like a left-handed Dan Gerardi where he can't move anymore.

He's just a big lumbering dude who can't create out of his own end. Like, I just don't know where he's going to fit there. If you were Nashville, would you trade one of your top four for Dushain? And I don't even know if that's on the table. Like, apparently, Sackick's been looking for a younger defenseman on an ELC, like maybe somebody from Carolina or something like that. But like, you know, would you give up an Eckholm for Duchenne? Maybe not at home.

I probably give up the other two guys. Like Ellis. Ellis or. Yosey? Yosey. Yosey'd get you Duchenne, maybe. Yosey looked really bad a lot of times in the playoffs where I feel like he's going to be, like, next year. Like, what's your Stanley Cup final next year?

Like, I think it's still Pittsburgh Nashville again. Like, I don't know who's going to, I don't know who did anything. Pittsburgh worries me a little bit. I want to see what other rabbits they pull out of the hat right now. I can see them getting complacent, and losing Benino and losing daily. I mean, listen, I don't expect him to give three years a daily. That's insane.

But that's Detroit. But, you know, you take Kunitz off that team for all the shit we say about him. Oh, he was bad last year. But he's still... It's good time to go. It's fine. So the guy who scores you the double over time goal. Still the guy does little little things for you.

Benino does little things for you. Like, it's the necessity to replace some of these good soldiers that they have. You know, they've not lost a significant, it's not like they lost, you know, I was going to say, what they went a couple of that, L'Tang. It's not like they lost a significant piece. But they lost some of the little puzzle pieces to this big picture that I think have really made it work in the last few years. And I'm not saying they can't win again.

I'm saying I'm intrigued to see how they go and replace a Nick Benino. Like, how do you address that loss? You asshole. Why would you take that deal? Why not just? All right. Let's get right to that. Joe Thornton and Patrick Marlowe.

Now, Thornton resigned to the Sharks for $8 million for one year. Which is batshit. It is bat shit on whose part? His part or their part? I would say it's 74% team bat shit and 26% Joe Thornton. I reverse it. I don't get either. The Sharks can contend next year.

Of course they can. Thornton, Couture, Pavelski. Don Skoy is going to have a bigger role. Vlasic. Martin Burns on the back end, Jones. They've got a very good team. And it's even better with Thornton. Joe Thornton looked a little toasty last year.

He did look a little toasty, which is why maybe he should have followed his heart in someplace else. But his heart was in San Jose, my friend. Like, I can tell you. That was the biggest, that was, before you. The most hilarious thing about this entire ordeal with Thornton and Marlowe was like, Thornton had ample opportunity to leave several times in the last. At one point, Doug Wilson, I thought was going to just start leaving piles of shit on his front door.

He begged him. please leave San Jose. But at no point would he ever want to leave San Jose. He loves living there. He loves, that's his jam, his family's there, the whole thing. I didn't think for a second

that Thornton was going to leave unless somebody went bat shit and gave him like three years, which wasn't going to happen. But lo and behold, someone went bad shit and gave Patrick Marlowe three years and then he left. And the thing is, it's not as though

the sharks are going to be this terrible team next season where they can move him at the deadline. Like, he's there for everything. So now it's like, I think that's fine. I think they're a good team. Like, what if he went to Nashville? Like, one year, three million?

Yeah, but that's fancasting. That's not reality. Reality was that he wasn't going to leave San Jose. And if he wasn't going to leave San Jose, it might have been to go, it was going to be going to be in Nashville. We didn't know anybody. I know. It would have been in L.A. Where he's going to be with Rob Blake.

It was going to be in Toronto where Babcock was there. It was going to be one of those things. He would have been partying at, like, country music festivals and stuff. He would have been having a great time. Hanging out with Mike Fisher. You see. Mike Fisher's still going to still live there. He's probably buddies with Mike Fisher, right? They're both late 30s dudes play hockey. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, by the way, going back to Montreal. For like months, I was like, Gary Price, don't sign anything. Wait till next July. And then he got his contract where like 70 million of it's up front. I'm like, okay. I get it. But I just hate, I love the NBA, man, because all these guys, they get to that option year and you're like, peace, pay me more. And Aki, it's like, before they even get to the fucking July 1st, the next year, they're like, all right, we'll take whatever you give me. Yeah.

And Carrie Price's case, I get it. Like, that's just a ton of money that you won't have to worry about lockout wise. Let's sidebar Marlowe for a second, and I'll talk about Price in that contract. I'm torn on it. It's too much, but... He's demonstrably the best player on that team. Yeah. But it flies in the face of logic to give your goaltender that much money because we've both seen the Rangers,

and we both seen how hard it is when you're... commit that much salarated to your goal tender. What was the first year of Longquist's? Longquist's first year of the contract was the year after they went to the cup. So it was 14-15 when they lost to Tampa. By the way, 2014-15, the Rangers lost to Tampa in the Eastern Conference finals by essentially one goal. The Rangers played Dan Girardi a shit-ton.

Toronto, or Tampa played Anton Straum and a shit-ton. And just think it was very, very possible for both of those guys to be on opposite teams at that point, considering Tampa likes Dan Girardi now. The thing about Price, though, is that like, and vis-a-vis Lunkwist, I mean, Lungwist is a great example about how quickly the worm can turn. I think they were around the same age when the contracts began. Like, Lung-Quest was around 31, I think, and Price was maybe 31 when his contract begins. Yeah. And so we're three years into that deal.

And this year, we spent more time talking about, you know, maybe Lung-Quist would like Dallas? I mean, he likes playing the guitar. They have guitars there. There's definitely guitars there. Yeah. So, I mean, it's not to say that he's done. It's to say that this is the first year he didn't get a Vezna vote in his career. And we're only three years into it.

And he's played a lot more than Price as that needs to be stated. But the thing, too, is like now if he struggles, the Rangers have Andre Padillick. So they're set. Right. They really shored up that backup cold pender spot after years of Cam Talbot. Antiranta and they had someone else good too. If price was 27 this deal would be great

but price is going to be 31 when it begins. Goaltenders get hurt. Goaltenders have a degradation of skills. He's already been hurt like 84 times. Yeah, this is not but at the same time I think Mark Bridgevans had a pretty decent offseason so far.

I like him laying off a Radulov for five years. I love the Duran trade. Alsner is what it is. He needs to address the back end but I will agree with him on this. when you have an answer to one of the essential problems in hockey, which is goal-hending, you don't get rid of that.

You don't create another problem for yourself. And if that means you go eight and 10.5 against the cap with price, and that's the price you pay, then you got to do it. Like, he's still one of the best goalies in the world. Yeah. Maybe the best. Yeah.

You know? Like the idea that you can't win with a goalie? that makes that much. I don't believe it. I don't believe in anything anymore. You can't win with this player. You can't win with that. Like, if you have a bunch of VLCs that can perform for you. That's the issue. Like, it takes a very talented general manager to color around the edges. And it takes a very good organization with the scouting apparatus and the player development apparatus to be able to churn out young talent. So in Pittsburgh's case,

like, Ray Shiro's set the table for them to pay Sid and Gino and, and, and, and, and, and, and Kessel and Latang and Flurry and all those guys, all that money because they had Conrushiri and Brian Rust and on and on and on. Jake Gensel, all these guys coming up. In Chicago's case, they've had some young guys that didn't work out, but then they also got super aggressive trading away bad contracts, creating just enough space to fit in guys that could help them win those cups. And then you have L.A.

It doesn't seem to have young players, and then also has committed too much money to veteran players, and then we see what mess they're in. They had young player. They had Topholi. They had, um, Tanner Pearson. They had enough guys. They just,

they just didn't do anything when they had those guys scoring 25 for them. And they also paid the veteran guys. Yeah. That's the veteran supporting cast too much, Dustin Brown. Right. Gabrik, got it. Like, it's one thing to overpay.

Yeah. Like, say, like the Latang Kessel combination. Nothing overpay Gabbrick, Dustin Brown. And what's amazing is that like for as much shit as the Jonathan Quick contract gets, he's still making under six a season. You know. Which is still too much for him. Right.

But in comparison to what we just saw with Carrie Price. All right. So I agree with you. I don't think that paying your goalie that much is necessarily a death knell for you being a contender. But it does take a team, a very, very talented GM, which we don't know if Birchvan is. And then a team creating this groundswell of young talent that can fill in the blanks. And frankly, they just traded one of those guys for Juan. Right.

Right. That's what I mean. It's like, whenever he makes a move, I'm like, oh, that's interesting. And then, like, the next move contradicts the move before it. And then the next move contradicts that move, and I can't get my finger on what he wants to do. Oh, he is one step forward and once they're back. The frommage is not big enough.

We need to get the white king. But then we let him walk in for agency and trade for Jonathan. Now we are doing the tangle. One step forward, once they're back. Look at my suit. It is beautiful, resplendent. It looks like I'm wearing a full body kilt. I took a graph chart and just basically made it a suit with all these stripes and lines.

He likes the stripes and lines. He likes the stripes. He loves the stripes. He loves the stripes. It's a little too much, I think. I am like, how you say, a French tiger? Stripes all over and ferocious. And I have no idea what I'm doing, because I do not have a human brain.

I am a tiger. The tigers do not know how to balance it. I told you all that I would not trade Piquet Suban, but by saying I would not, I, of course, meant I will. So, as you can see, I was very forthright the entire time. Speaking of not trading. Are you the least bit surprised Joe sacking has fucked this up as badly as he has? Man, I just want to get a number one defenseman. He realized like Travis Hamanick was just hanging around.

You could have gotten, no, no, no, no. I'm just going to, we're going to stay Pat. And then, like, I just don't understand, like, how terrifying it must be to be a Colorado Avalanche fan. Just, it's, it is, first of all. You're fucked. You're fucked. You're fucked. And not only that, but, like, Grigorenko signed into the KHL.

The last vestiges of the Ryan O'Reilly trade, peace out, which is now titanically awful in hindsight. And then you have this Duchayne nonsense. It's pretty clear that the nostalgia act... Did he give Jerome McGillanilla the contract that he gave him? Yeah, that was Joe. That was Joe.

The nostalgia act that we had a few years ago that everybody felt good about for one year, and in fact, some people wrote books about it. Saved by Joe. It wasn't necessarily the thing that we all thought it was. I mean, you know, like, wah was what it was. But Sackick's a pretty bad GM. He's not good.

He's not good. Even that team that year wasn't good. That was that year's coursey team that was like at 47. Every year we do this. And then the next year they're bad. But again, it comes back to this thing of like, you know, like, when they sign Yakupov to the one-year deal, it's like, who cares? Right. It can't get any worse.

Right. And it's probably not going to work because Yakopov's not going to play with anybody good because there's nobody on that team that's going. By trading Bucan, how do you get worse? and if you get worse, you know what? That's only good. It's only good if you get worse, because then you'll get a great young player in the draft next year when you inevitably win the lottery.

So there's no risk in trading Duchenne. The only thing that I would maybe want, and maybe this is what he's waiting for, is to get a younger defenseman than Hamannick, because obviously they are a fucking millennium away from contending. Right. Yeah. But it doesn't matter.

They can get a 14-year-old defenseman. They're probably not going to contend in that kid's lifetime anyway. Just get something for him, man. Like Danny His favorite player growing up, son My favorite player growing up was Nathan McGinnon I'm like, oh God, it's so old He's so old

And he's like, no, actually that kid's 14 He's, you're his favorite player because he's just so young And Joe Sackett really wanted to get on the ground floor Doesn't that violate some sort of like CBA or like labor laws? I don't know, no, no, no no no no no No one cares

All those Canadians know who the good 14 Like I was hearing, I remember hearing like Marek one time He's like, you know it's going to be good Connor McDavid Who's Connery Dave? He's like, he's a 12-year-old. I'm like, what the, how do you even?

Can you imagine if that was like for, like someone's, you know, it's going to be great, Greg Wischinski. How do you know? Well, I was reading his articles. He's a sophomore at Madawan High School. And his, his humor column is really solid. Like, you could see he's got the makings of a young Bill Simmons. Who's Bill Simmons? Oh, I forgot.

It's 1993. No one really knows about Bill Simmons yet. That's good. You're in a place there where you had the metaphor going and then, wait a second. Hold on. He's got the makings of a young Mike Lupica Oh god Dot dot dot dot

Talking out of this guy Learned in the New Jersey Circulation Area of the Daily News in 1993 Under Mike Lupica of the Daily News Maybe Steinbrenner Should be more Brenner than Stein Dot dot dot dot I don't even know what that means

I was that a Mike Lupica thing It might have been Mike Lubbica was a guy who faked Who did the fake Larry King Format Like the Rand Mike Lupica would write a full like column like praising Major League Baseball

for their home run races involving Sammy Sosa Mark McIreire and writing an entire book about it and never actually mentioning steroids in the book and then and then he would do the dot dot dot thing the random thoughts thing oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

that's a Larry King gets credit for that yeah Larry King kind of invented that format I think I know that yeah oh by the way there's no one no one's on steroids anymore in baseball Aaron judge is more like Judge Broody than Judge Judy dot dot dot dot oh because he's brooding

He's not happy or something? Yeah, I don't know. Who gives a shit? By the way, the players aren't juiced now. The ball is, that's the new thing. I once did a story for a magazine called Sports Fan magazine that I worked for in the early 90s. Yeah, in the early odds. And we went to, I believe it was Penn State, where they were doing a study of the ball to find out if it was juiced.

And they did find that the core of the baseball had changed dramatically through the, years, the point where they did like, you know, infrared kind of studies and shit to show that the density of the ball had changed and that the ball had more pop and lift in the 90s than it did in the 1950s. The ball is juiced. But the key part of the study was that you can juice the ball all you want, but it takes a certain kind of players, strength, stamina, yada, yada, yada, to act. That's what happens.

That's me fine in the vein. activate that juicing of the ball. Baseball writers are really weird when it comes to steroids because they all want to now relitigate the past where they're like, steroids didn't matter back then. Let's vote all those guys in. And now today it's like, whoa, home runs are flying out again in a wild and crazy pace you've never seen before.

Are the players? No, it's the ball. The ball's juice. Really? You don't think any players are ever on steroids? Nope. I'm accusing the ball because it's an inanimate object that has no feelings. All those survey guys should get in, don't you think? No. I don't think that. Because they were fucking steroids, guys.

But everybody was in on it, though. That's, that's unfair. Unfair to who? To Willie Mays? To the people that weren't on steroids. To sit there and say every player was on steroids. Okay. Isn't it contingent on Major League Baseball to have caught those people?

Oh, so O.J. Simpson in your mind. You just, you're okay with him because he didn't get caught. He didn't get caught. His NFL stats are unimpeachable. Oh, you mean, oh, you're talking about those people he killed? You're talking about the murders? that he was not convicted of, but we all know he did. Don't you think it's impossible to parse what the drugs were responsible for

and what the player was? Like, Barry Bonds was clearly a great player for the pirates, for the pirates. Oh, my. And then he juiced, and he got, he became like a... How do you know when he started juicing? That's my point. How do you know he was in juicing the whole time? Well, because at one point he looked like Chris Tucker.

Doesn't matter. And then he ended up looking like Vingraims. I think that's basically the difference. Well, that's just people getting older and fatter, too. Oh, yeah, sure. His head looks like a Thanksgiving Day balloon now. There was a dude who played for the Tigers and the Rays. I forget the hell his name was, but he was this little tiny, skinny dude who stole bases.

He didn't really hit home runs. He got suspended for like 80 games because he was on steroids. It didn't matter what your body type was. Like, I just don't understand how like these guys go before Congress and they lie. And by the way. And now it's like, well, let's put them in. Go back to your other point. That's how Craig Bigio gets in.

Hold on. Hold on. To go back to your other point, though. Your contention is that the people who didn't cheat should be the ones that get in, but the people who did cheat should not get in. Like Craig Bigio shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame. That's my point. How do we know?

How do we know? We don't know anything. How do we know about? Oh, God, I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. Uh-oh. I'm sorry, Baltimore. What do you mean?

How do we know about the guy who played more consecutive games than anybody in the history of baseball? And at the time when people were taking a drug to make sure they could recover quickly after playing all those games. A drug that causes your body to break down all the time? You think the guy that played 2,600 consecutive games? It's a drug that helps you recover. It's a recovery drug. Yes. And over time, it causes your muscles.

So maybe at the end. I don't know who's to say. Who's to say about any of these guys? That's the point. So your argument is... My point is that we don't know anything about anything just because some guys, said some shit in a deposition or in front of Congress or because the guy who used to put needles in their ass, talk to Sports Illustrated.

Like, we know about those guys, but we also don't know dick and shit about everybody else who played during that era who very well could have been on stuff. That's an insane argument. It's not an insane argument. Because these guys could have been on it. These guys were on it. Roger Clemens had a miraculous turnaround in his career once he discovered steroids. So what do you do when you find out a guy that's in the Hall of Fame was juicing?

You take him out? You can take him out. Okay. There you go. Why? I'm saying it's, my argument is this. If you found out Craig Bigio was on steroids the last 10 years of his career, you fucking drag him out of there by his neck.

He, first of all, he was 13 years old. There was no reason for him to do anything illegal. He would be very worried about what his parents might say. My point is that it's an era of dirty. And so you acknowledge that it was dirty. You acknowledge that we have no idea who was using, who wasn't using. And you have to. judge those players in the merits of their accomplishments, and their accomplishments are

Hall of Fame numbers. So because three dozen guys were doing it, you should now assume the other 800 players or whatever. I assume it was more than three dozen guys. I understand that. You're assuming everybody did it. Yes. I'm assuming that we, I would assume that the vast majority of Major League Baseball players

knowing that other guys had a competitive advantage were using something to get the same competitive advantage, and they weren't caught. disagree. Their names would have come out. All right, Pollyanna. What does that mean? I mean, you're being naive. You are being naive about this.

So do you think everybody today is on steroids? Today? No. Why not? Because the testing's gotten better. Really? Hey, my bottom line doesn't pass on ESPN without a new guy getting suspended for any games. The testing's gotten better and also the testing has now become long range where they're doing, as far as I know, at least in the Olympics, you know, you can have.

have your glory this year, but, you know, 10 years from now, they're going to retest your sample when they know how to test for, you know, horse come or whatever people are putting in their bodies. And they're going to go back and be like... No, I'm trying that. It just makes you tired. Well, I mean, how are you getting it is the question. I mean, if you're getting me... Oh, then it's going to definitely make it tired. You can put a crank in your neck. It's not a suppository. Come on. Learn your science.

The point being is that your glory today will be taken away from you subsequently because they'll know how to test for the stuff that you use. and retest the samples one day. But you don't think there are people out there that can create PEDs that aren't detectable based on the news. Oh, I know that's the case because that's how the majority of baseball players back in the steroid era were able to test clean, even though they were using it. So there you go. Right. So we're not back in present day when you're testing clean because of all the years. Well, Dave, it seems like what you're saying is that we can never assume that players are clean because steroids are so prevalent in the sport, making cycling.

look clean by comparison. By the way, that guy got screwed the other day. That's all the way. My point is that by saying we just simply don't know, you were agreeing with me. We simply don't know. So how dare we judge people that got pinched when everybody could be using? I mean, everybody could be using. Sure.

That's right. So, boy, that's just an insane argument. I would gladly go to Cooperstown and kiss the plaque of any steroid user and say, you belong here based on the numbers. Sir Raphael Palmero Put him in Put him in and put on the plaque that he Did the steroid thing

With the Congress in the whole bit There's no reason why you can't do that There's no reason you can't do that All right where do you draw the line Well I would like to see a mending of a lot of plaques Ty Cobb Also a horrible racist at the end Just like tell it like it is

You know? Yeah Babe Ruth Never actually went to that hospital and talked to that kid Like dudes were hitting 77 home runs out of the park and people were like Brady Anderson. Like remember remember that happened? I knew. We were like, wow, that guy suddenly got really awesome and hitting the homers.

And did he ever test positive? I don't think he was one of the ones that, eh, did he admit that he did but never actually test it? I forget. It's just odd to me that so many baseball players were cheating. I'm just happy that. And no one seems to care anymore. It's just weird. Okay.

Beyondtheboxcore.com. That's a legit site. We should reference that for sure. It's commonly accepted that Anderson was using steroids during the 1996 season. The only problem is that there is zero evidence of amusing outside of the home run spike. That's a March 8th, 2016 article. Right. Like if you have a guy who is in the Mitchell report or you have a guy that got suspended for steroids.

Like David Ortiz, I'm baffled by why everybody loves David Ortiz. I mean, he's, I'm not baffled by. He's a fun guy and a nice guy But like He's like one of those guys That did steroids But never got Like what was he was in the Mitchell report

But he never actually got suspended by baseball Because it was like Like I just don't get why there's not like more of a What's the word I'm looking for here Witch hunt? No not a witch hunt Like more of just like a Like everyone's just so

Like willing to just wash it all away now It's like Jonah's like that Jonah carry who was no longer our boss technically Right So we could talk all the shit we want about Jonah Carrie. Let me tell you about Jonah Carey. Yeah. You know what? No one gives a shit about Andres Gala Rock.

It's about time somebody said that on the record. Speaking of people that shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame, Tim Rains. Oh, shit. Oh, he knows I feel this way. You know what I call in the Rock? Mm-hmm. I'm kidding. That's not true at all. Oh, because he, because he

had allergies? And he took medicine that the side of the boners? Tim Rains is an amazing human being I would not say anything about him. It was bad. I don't know. This is trying to be me and Nick Jonah. Like, let's say, let's say you found out today that between... All right.

2009 and 2014, Jonathan Taves is just fucking shooting up every day. Between the toes. Between the Taves. Between the Taves. Yes. My Taves are frozen. Still the best runner classic sign of all time.

How would you feel, would you... I mean, I don't know if you consider it now that Taze's a Hall of Famer right now, but what would you say about... him at that point. Because like NHL testing is apparently dog shit and at least was. Am I finding out post-playing days that he was using steroids but was never

caught? No it's like a it's like a David Ortiz, Raphael Palmeiro type of thing where like while he's playing it comes out that does he admit to it? I'll say he doesn't admit to it. But the evidence is clear that he did. But the evidence is clear. Never tested positive.

Man. What? You're just, It's all about keeping, like, your idols up here. It's not about... It's not about that. It's just about the idea that everybody in sports... This is a grander theme, okay?

When we're all obsessed with the past. And... Are you saying because I watch four episodes of friends before I fall asleep some nights? That means I'm obsessed with the past. That's bullshit. I'm just obsessed with quality television. I couldn't be more obsessed with the past.

Um... So anyways We're all obsessed with the past We're all obsessed with numbers Baseball is especially guilty of this The idea that You know The fucking field of dreams nonsense and whatever

But like Players in the modern era Have a Endless number of competitive damages And some of them are legal And some of them are illegal And I just assume For everybody that's in pro sports

That there is some level of Pill being taken shot being consumed. Alex Ovechkin looked like he was dead after the cadre hit, and then he came back. And I know it's not because of anything but probably like getting shot up a cortisol or whatever.

Which is a steroid. Right, well, right. It's all of these competitive advantages, legal and illegal that people have today. And unless they are caught and punished for it and they use it, well, get on you. Like, if you ain't cheating and he ain't trying, that's how I feel about it.

Wow. All right, but enough about baseball. Patrick Marlowe, three years, $6.25 million per season for the Leafs. I understand the justifications for this deal. It's the only time they're going to be able to have a contract like this, after all, because they have a bunch of guys on entry-level contracts. They can sign a guy who's a proven goal score. He's an older gentleman, a gentleman of some renown in regard,

a lady Bing finalist, many times, or nominee or the contend, and fabulous eyebrows, kind eyebrows, and doesn't know how to smile in pictures. But the third year of this contract is dog shit. And I don't understand why they possibly went there with an over 35 contract. Here's my take. How do you know the first year's not going to be bad? Like the third year is going to be bad.

But the first year, you can make a pretty good case that he's been in decline the last two years, despite the 27 goals. And it's amazing because people are making the argument that like, oh, but look, you know, he's not simply just a product of Joe Thornton and Joe Pavelski and Luke Guterre. He played a lot of minutes last year with Joel Ward. We're like, yeah, and look what happened. Right.

He has his third consecutive season of statistic decline. I guess your feeling is that he is a top line player. He can play with Matthews. He can play with Marner. He'll make a difference there. He'll get his points back up playing with young talent. His whole career will be revitalized.

They'll get something out of it, too. Here's what I'm afraid of if I'm a least fan. A third year of his contract? Besides the obvious second, third, or maybe even the first year of the contract is, yeah, he had 27 goals last year, but he had a lot of the goals playing with Joel Ward. He didn't have a lot of the goals playing with Pavalski or Thornton.

So now when he has to score his 27 goals this year, he's going to have to score it against, you know, the Suban-Eckholm combo. Ah, you're saying a Irwin-Emillan combo. Jump in the quality of competition. If you're going to play with the best, you're going to play against the best. And I think they kind of proved,

especially during the 15-16 season, when he got moved down during the playoffs. So I just don't know how... And if you're going to mess with the best, you're going to die like the rest. And if you smelt it, you dealt it? Thank you very much. Is that what we're doing? I think the third year is a joke, but I also understand that it is Lou LaMirlo we're talking about here.

So as a Devils fan, I know two things about this contract. One, he overpaid a veteran unrestricted free agent, as is his want. That's what he does. And two, he will make this contract disappear. Errah, I don't know what happened. And he stepped inside of the space capsule and I shot him into the sun. I believe that means his money is off the cap, Erra. Toronto police today have discovered the contract of Patrick Marlowe in the back of a trunk somewhere in Sherbrook.

No way, that's Quebec. Era, I was practicing error with my disintegration ray, and Erra all is left is a pair of eyebrows. But I believe that is grounds for taking the money off the cap, era. And the veteran stuff. Like imagine it's the 20s. It's a 2018 playoffs. Toronto's up 3-0 on the caps in round one. Patrick Marlowe gets in front of the locker room.

It says, guys, here's how we can fuck this up. Take it for me, the guy that's been through the wars. Yeah, they got the wrong guy. Like, the guy they described is Joe Thornton. Like, even he has had a lack of, you know, but at least Thornton is present. I prefer him as a captain than Marlowe got the captain's he stripped from him because they lost in the first round of the playoffs.

at no point did he ever look at Patrick Marlow and be like, this is the general and we will go to war with him. He's like, I guess. I kind of want to win the Stanley Cup. I don't know. Whatever. Yeah, I agree. I think from a work ethic standpoint, maybe you get that because he's obviously in good shape.

He's kept in good shape. He's an older guy. You get that yogger-esque sort of example of fitness and dedication. But from a leadership perspective, first of all, you don't need him there. Like, this young core got you to the playoffs. They're learning a thing or two. Like, I trust Austin Matthews more as a leader than I do Patrick Marlow at this point. Can you just picture Austin Matthews sitting down at the locker next to Patrick Marlowe and being like, come on, buddy.

Don't be down about this one bad game. You can get it going here in game too. We have home ice rolling down 1-0. The series isn't over, Patty. And Marlis, Marl's like, this is, I literally started playing like a few weeks after you were born. Oh, by the way. But you're so much of a better leader than me. I am so sick of all that shit.

Did you know that when... When Nolan Patrick was two... Yarmory Yager was... Yeah, I get it. Yarmour Yager's old. Patrick Marlowe is old. I understand that younger people weren't around when the older person was doing the thing that I get that.

I'm so bored. Oh, my God. Did you know when Bartolo Colone first adopted his second family? Bryce Harper was only... Yeah, I know. John Chaker lives on Earth. In the universe, Shane Don was there when the universe started. That kind of thing?

Like in 2336. You know when Yarmir Yager is playing in his 219th season, did you know that when John Chaka the 6 was drafted? He wasn't even a blue? A blue. We haven't even, we didn't discover the secret oxygen holes on Jupiter. by then. What did you think of the Kevin Chattonkirk signing of four years, six point six five?

I love it big time. I think it's amazing that he's a dope, right? He's a fucking idiot. For not getting seven years out of somebody. When you take a hometown discount, you need to already be in the hometown and that hometown needs to have had success. Or you need to be going to a team that's got Stanley Cup hopes. And it's not that the Rangers don't, but I mean, when you take the discise,

discount, you need to go to like Tampa or Pittsburgh. It's not possible in maybe those cases, but I mean, if you're going to go to the Rangers, make them fucking, just because you grew up 30 minutes away from here, that's why you're going to take $3 million, $2 million less? I asked Jeff Gordon, GM of the Rangers, like, how did they get to four years? And he's like, oh, well, yeah, got to be honest with you. Kevin's idea. I'm like, good deal with you.

It's like when you're watching a movie and a guy is asking like the really hot girl on a date over the phone and then like she says yes and then he just like puts his hand over the receiver and just starts dancing and thrusting and shit like that's exactly how that went down so we were thinking uh seven of four years you say and he presses the mute button like brad pit and money ball he's high-fiving and fucking jonahill it's right or that seems sure shhs i'm gonna unmute it's we'll think about that we'll get back to your hangs up oh oh That's that scene knocked up where he's talking to Heigel and like everybody in the back of, like Jason Segal is mimic face fucking Joe Una Jonah Hill in the background.

That's Glenn Sather during his call. Courtney Clark's like got Jeff Gordon from behind. He's like, we're doing this. Yeah. Four years. I mean, listen, from a ranger's perspective, it's great. It's great too because when Henrik Lundquist goes into decline the next four years, they can just blame Shankirk. You're right.

Boy, he was pretty good until Kevin Shantirk got here. Great, great power play, dude. Yeah. Good, great, very good possession player. Mm-hmm. Doesn't necessarily get you a ton of points five-on-five, but better than what they have. I think it could be said. But, like, are the Rangers better than they were last year?

Because their defense is obviously better, but now you got to have Kevin A's as your second. Yeah, that's the real issue is how do you address. The Harn A is your-A is your-LIN. But, again, like, we talked about, though, like, if you trade Derek Stepan straight up for Kevin Chattankirk, like, there's nobody that wouldn't make that trade. right? I like Derek Stefan. There's nobody on this side of the microphone that would make that that trade. I understand.

Like Derek Stefan's just, it gets tossed around so much. I was a 200-foot player. He's really, really good. I think he's going to be, he still has a lot of years left, too. Like, he's been such a rock-solid dude for them. And Chattankirk's going to be good. He's not going to be bad or anything. It's just you're paying Ringo to pay George.

It just becomes pretty obvious that GM Greg Wushinsky would have T.J. O'Shea and Kevin Chattankirk on his team. And GM, Dave Loza, would have Marcus Johansson and Derek Stepan on his team. And I don't know if, I think my team would probably win all the time and yours would be kind of shitty. Well, no, because you'd have the 38-year-old goaltender. You're paying $8.5 million to. I'd have the bargain basement Antiranta, who would just be dominating. Think about it. The Rangers, how many summers in a row have they traded their best goalie?

People don't talk about that enough. That's true. Camp Talbot, Antiranta. And who's the third guy? I forgot this guy earlier. There was a third backup they had. That was way better than Andre Pavlik recently. Oh, Dan Blackburn. No, it's Pete Blackburn.

Oh, right. And he would stop all the pucks with his biceps and then make amazing gifts of the saves. Like anything that was more than three feet off the ice he had problems with. Oh, Jesus. Boom. Pete doesn't listen to this. He doesn't care. He has a lot of time to listen to it now, my friend.

What, by the way, Pete should get rehired immediately. Like, if the person who fired you gets fired two days later, they should be like, well, are. Can't they just hit the reset button at Fox Sports have been like, we just fired the guy who fired all you guys, but now you can come back because the guy who fired you is now fired? Yeah, yeah. Like, there should be some sort of, like, cyclical, like, open window where, like, if the guy who fires you within a two-week window gets fired, you can come back.

Right, they should just be able to fly around the earth and spin it backwards, and then Pete has a job again, and all our friends have jobs again. I really thought Pete wasn't going to get laid off. I thought Pete was, like, enough of a, he's a hunky video guy. I was trying to, I'm out there with the guns. I was trying to figure out how Jamie Horowitz was going to go, because it was obvious, like, when all these stories came out about the best management of Fox Sports and, you know, him crippling the digital side of things and stuff, like, he was going to go at some point. I'm just like, how are they going to do it?

And then I saw sexual harassment allegations. I'm like, oh, it's very Fox. That's very Fox sort of 2017. Let's make it all go away kind of thing. It was the obvious thing. Sometimes you overthink, like, you're looking for, like, the clever way out. No, it's Fox. It's not because Richard Dight was like, Clash of the Cupcake said a million viewers.

at 3 a.m. and Fox Sports at 5 p.m. at 60,000. SpongeBob Squarepants at 11 a.m. on Nickelodeon had this many viewers. Well, Skip Baylisset. I just love the idea of a Fox executive finding the entire threat of those Richard Dites

tweets, and that's like, wait a second, we're getting outdrawn by Paw Patrol. The fuck! By the way, I wonder, like, how much ratings I give those shows in the morning because, like, that's where the Friends Reruns are on at night. And then I wake up in the morning

put my TV on and it's always like that you have the boxes warming up thing and it's like, Paw Patrol. In all honesty, like I would, I would, I love when he used to do those Fox, uh, the Fox Sports One tweets when it would be like, a rerun of gun smoke on pistol TV like that's fine. But like when it's Paw Patrol

or SpongeBob you're like, okay, but that's that's a baby that's a babysitter. Like that the babysitter is putting on Paw Patrol. But still people watch that but no, but you put it on, there's a child drooling on her himself and trying not to say it as much as I used to and and then and then like you put the TV on and no one's actually watched you don't put Skip Bayless on to satisfy your child like your child will start crying the minute what if LeBraw there's a real leader of baby he's like please kill him I don't want to live we're going to bring out Levar ball after the break to talk about the big baller brand I don't want to live Jason Whitlog just well oh he's a real Williams shoulder but the baby's crying

that's a dead on impression that was really good so yeah that's the difference it's like I like when he would point out like shows that we're on in like the 1960s obscure cable channel getting better ratings but when it's the babysitter television like I don't it's a different

deal I still don't get how we can't figure out ratings down to the actual like my phone knows where I am at all times like I'll take my phone out and be like hey the weather in Belmont Today is 75. Have a great day, Dave. But, like, we don't know, like, who is exactly watching things.

Maybe Nielsen boxes still in 2017? Like, I like accurate ratings. I think the ratings for those shows are even lower than Richard Deich, and we all think. We know what the numbers are for this podcast. Do we? And I can tell you, with some certainty, that we outdraw probably everything but the top 20 shows on Fox Sports 1 each week with this podcast. Only, like, we're making, like, slightly less. Slightly less than Coward.

Like seven figures, but just not high seven figures. Right, and we're not telling where that decimal is. All right, Shatt and Kirk, Benino, four years, four point one. We kind of covered that talking about the penguins and their issues. Yeah, it's a contract. You don't like that contract? That might be the worst non-Gerardi contract of the day. He's never going to live out.

It's like Andrews, every year. Like the Grinders, Third Line, Center, tough guy, you dude, always gets overpaid. Like the Andrew Shaw contract, the Nick Bonino contract. That very much smelled like a rings in the room kind of sign. Yeah. Like a guy who can help you get you over the hump. Like Hartnell-Nell-Sharp and Camilleri, they might not work out at all. But for a million bucks, lots of tip.

You get 20 goals. It's great. Koonitz, one year, $2 million is a great signing. I think he's, you know, I know you've mentioned that before about how you think he's done. I don't think he's done. I think he has at least a year left in him. And have a guy who's won that much. Wait, who's this? Koonitz.

A guy who's won that much to play potentially with Stam Kuzerov, if you can hang with him. Not a bad signing at all. I like that a lot. As a fallback position from missing out on Justin Williams, which I think is a really good signing, and I know you're really high on what Carolina did. I think that's a pretty good signing for a goodnets. We'll get to them a second. One of the, with undeniable storylines of free agency was the fact that a lot of guys got what I'm calling the Brad Richards.

The big old buyout, and then they go to a team. An untucked shirt? Is that the Brad Richards? A little alone in time with Amy. He spent the, he spent the, he spent the entire. entire lockout working with people on how to come up with untucked shirts. He was the Amy Schumer guy, wouldn't I? Was he the guy who was with Amy Schumer?

Who she said was like, uh... Did we talk about this last week? No, we didn't talk about this last week. We talked about it before, like who the guy that's, the Ranger she was with was. And I think we, I think the internet... I don't know this. So she said, she said that she was once with a Ranger. And that was the, did you see Train Rec?

Which one was that? The LeBron movie? Yeah. I don't know if I've seen it all the way through. You know that John Cena plays like this super athletic guy that... Oh, the tiny dick? Well, no. Point of being is that he didn't have a tiny dick.

I thought he was the guy that had the real tiny... I thought that was one of the scenes in the movie where... Oh, did he? I don't know. Point being is that... She said the guy that she was with the Rangers was super athletic. And... Oh, she was with a wrestler and she was with a ranger.

And the ranger guy was super athletic, and he was apparently blessed in a Jeff O'Neill kind of way. I haven't seen train wreck the whole way The talk was The talk was that it was I think the talk was that it was Brad Richards at some point But I might be wrong on that Let me Google that, make sure But it's from the movie

It's not from her standout No, it's from her book, I think Or from her standout Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh So she was with an athletic ranger With a big old weiner, huh? Let me see here

Maybe not Oh, maybe so Yeah, do you see? Look at that dogshad.com Black Space Hawks, lowercase. There was some talk of that. I can't confirm, but there was some talk of that. So that was the...

How do we get... Oh, no, the Brad Richards is taking a one-year deal for like a million dollars after you get bought out, which is what Scott Hartnell did with the Predators, which was a Patrick Sharp did with the... Well, he didn't get bought out, but he took a $1 million deal with the Black Hawks,

and then Mike Camelary, maybe one of the more infamous example is taking a $1 million deal with the L.A. Kings, which is not... Again, you're shaking your head. No, I was just... Gamble deal is fine. I was just thinking about how good the Blackhawks this year are going to be in 2014.

They are loaded up to win that 2014 title. Oh, damn. Sharpie. That Chalmersen trade is so bad. That's a really bad trade for Chicago. But that's like three weeks old at this point. They can just, looking at this. This is just searching around for the dong.

Yeah, the, this is just, I don't know how it ended up being that it might have been Brad Richards, but I know that was sort of the internet gossip at the time. Well, Richards was here from, what, the 2010-11 season through the 13-14? That's a good window for when Amy Schumer started to get super famous and Brad Richards got here. I can see that being a, I can see their pads crossing. Sure, why not? Poker night or casino night. There you go.

Poker night, you say. Marco Scandella and Jason Palmaville of the Sabres was a trade that happened for Tyler Innes and Marcus Felino. It's a great little trade for Jason Ballerol, by the way. It's a boring as well. You can tell you you're very excited about that. Tell me why you like the Carolina Hurricane so much. Buddy, buddy. Let's start a note with Scott Darling, the best Blackhawks cult.

Scott Darling is the Auntie Ranta slash Cam Talbot of that situation. Love it. Going to be really good for Carolina. Justin Williams, too much money, but you know what? You're in a spot where you can spend it. And I like that. You see, that's a good rings in the room mentor signing because he's a guy who's played there before.

You can still play there. And he can still play there. So, score you 20 goals. Marcus Kruger, nice little pickup. I like everything they've done this offseason. I think they're finally getting rid of Cam Ward's part of it too. Not getting rid of him, but I don't know, did they buy him out or is he still on the roster? I think he was a free agent, was he?

I think he has one more year left. Does he really? Oh, they traded Eddie Lack. That's what it was. Yeah, they traded Eddie Lack to the Calgary Flames. So Cam Ward is, I think, their backup guy, which still is kind of scary. But I like Carolina. I like Carolina to win that division.

No. Make the playoffs. Make the playoffs. Yeah, Cam Ward and Scott Darling are your gold-hending Battery Award. It's got one more year at 3.3. Boy, once they get that off the books and they can spend that money on something useful next year. Carolina, baby. Let's talk about the Dallas Staris, because this one's super interesting.

Now you got methought on the back end. They already added Bishop. Now you got Radulov at $6.25 million against the cap for five years after a one-year show-me contract with the Montreal Canadiens. He wanted seven. He got five. Yeah, I saw your tweet. Once again, you doubt a Russian's ability to. to maintain his pace once he gets paid. And then also doubt that the money was worth it.

Yeah, that's true. You know what? Maybe I saw Rocky 4 as a young kid and it really stuck with me how dirty these Russians are and their tricks. You're watching Red Dawn like a lot of the kid. Right, exactly. You know, I'm in school. I'm looking to check out the window. I'm looking to see if the parachutes are falling.

Did you see who they talk to to get the 4-1-1-1-rad-Ratjol. They talked to... My boy, Sergei Zuboff was like... Rubber stamped it in some. that's good enough for me. Yeah, Russian told the team to give his comrade money. Who would have thought that? What Russian is ever like, no, please stay away from him?

He is a bad influence. Perhaps you sign Alex Semin next to you. I don't know. I don't know. That's the thing. I mean, that's the comparable that makes you a little worried, is that, you know, that's another guy who put up amazing numbers. I feel great about this for this.

You think that, so you think they'll play him with Sagan and Ben? Well, I thought the talk was they were going to put Spetsa on the top line, move him out of the center spot, and put Hansel as the second. a line center. That's a terrible idea. That's the scuttle butt. That's a terrible idea. On the Dallas Stars beat. Well, hey, listen, nothing like loading up on offensive players and then hiring

Ken Hitchcock as your coach, by the way. Yeah, how the fuck is that going to work? That's the part of it that I don't understand. That's the part of it that's a little bit concerning. Well, known for his offensive creativity. Ken Hitchcock. Jamie Ben's having the best ever

45-point season here with two weeks ago. Remember his quote where he's like, I don't want to win 5-4. I want to win all my games two to one. Like, that's going to be the down of stars now. That's great. No, it's amazing. Alex Radulov has a long, wonderful five years to look forward to. Vladimir Tarasenko never had an issue with Ken Hitchcock at all.

It's going to be great. By the way, because Netsov getting paid more than Teresanko is one of life's cruel jokes. Yeah, I don't get that. I know. Well, he had that KHL leverage. You could have just gone there for two years and come back as UFA, so I understand that. But, man, alive. That is a guy who has yet to have.

have a, he led the caps in scoring by default one year, but he's yet to have a season that really tells his 7.8. Yeah. Especially in comparison to what Tarasanko's done. Oh, he's never going to. Oh, he's really good. He's really good, but he's not $8 million good. None of these guys are. I love that, too, like the KHL leverage.

Like, sometimes you just have to know when the other guy's bluffing. Like, remember before Andre Markoff went to the market? Actually, by the time you listen to this, maybe he has a contract. But, like, on June 30th, somebody posted a video of him working out on the beach and carrying a vlog. Nothing smelled more desperate than that video. It's like if you're a single dude and you post videos of yourself working out and their shirt on because you want to attract the ladies, like that's as desperate as wanting to attract the contract on June 30th.

And then the camera slowly pans up. It's like, oh, I'm sorry. I was just admiring my corvette. It's what it was. Funny to see you here. Oh boy. You know what? If I can lift this log, I could probably help you lift this.

Leak up. Swipe right on Andre Marcos. All right. Speaking of the KHL, Elylechuk isn't coming back to the NHL. There's a couple layers of this story that are very interesting. One, I was told today that the interest in Colvichuk would be higher than half the league inquired

about him. Believe that? That the price on his contract with one of these teams, would have been commiserate with the contracts that we saw specifically in the neighborhood of what Marlowe got. And then the other thing, I don't... I'm right about the Rangers thing. Wait, but going back,

does that mean nobody wanted to give him that, or is that what he wanted? No, that means that there was business to be done and that they probably could have figured out something. But why didn't they then? Okay, so here's the issue with this. I'm going to write about this later in the week. I need to do a little bit more reporting on it.

But the issue, as I understand it, is that when you have a middleman, as the devils are, the issue then becomes this. It's great to say, okay, we want to give him a Marlowe contract. And then Colvichuk's like, oh, that's awesome. Let's do that. And then Ray Shiro's like, okay, that sounds good, but here's what I'm going to need from you. I'm going to need this package. And then they're like, wait a second here. if we're going to give you this package

and we sure aren't going to give him that money unless we give you this too and then the devil was like, well, we don't want that. So then it becomes this really bizarre circumstance where you have a guy, it's basically like you have a deadline guy who is a trade deadline guy where he's clearly an asset that's going to be disappearing for the devils.

So in theory they should trade him. But at the same time, he's their property now and they know that they have an asset that's worth something. So they don't want to necessarily trading for peanuts. They want to get a significant return, especially when one of the leading suitors for the guy is a team they've never made a trade with in the New York Rangers. So the Rangers is like, we want Colvichuk. Ray's like, I need this because I am not doing business with the Rangers if I can't get this.

And the Rangers is like, fuck off. You're not getting that. And so that's how you get to this point where the devils are literally like, we're not trading them. And Colbichuk's like, fuck off. I'm going to go play in Russia for a year. play in the Olympics, which is important to me, and then come back next year as a UFA. So instead of making the team better,

he's worried about this idea that you can't trade in your division with a rival. I think he's worried about getting a... Well, you have to remember that... Captives gave them Johansson. Hold on. Like, you have to remember that, like, when Ray is like I'm not trading this guy for peanuts,

he's getting off for peanuts because these teams know that the devils are over a barrel. Like, they're not going to... They're not bidding against each other. They're over a barrel with a cobalchop. But they're all... It's a good thing to be over a barrel with. But that's the thing is that these teams know that they...

That voice just got really high there. Oh, my. Oh, my. The thing about is that these teams know that the devils have an expiring asset. The teams know that, like, the devils are going to lose this guy for nothing. So, like, well, here's a fucking third round pick for you. And Ray's like, that's horseshit. Like, this guy's a 30 goal score.

Give me more. He might be a 30 goals. He's 34. Yeah, but he's a 30... Would you take power? Patrick Marlow or Eliacobych tomorrow. Oh, for sure. I think he's younger, he's better.

So listen, I am still trying to figure out the devil side of this equation. Because I'm essentially with you in some way. Like, if there are places to trade him that aren't the Rangers and they're offering you like a second round pick, how do you not get that? Get something. Get something for nothing, right? But if it kind of, my theory was, and I still haven't figured this part out, my theory was that the market was the Rangers because he wanted to play in the Northeast. the Rangers were the team you really wanted to kind of play for. You have to have a situation where he's going to agree to a contract

multi-year to be in a place and he obviously likes it here and maybe wanted to play for the Rangers. They don't have the space. The Rangers? Six and a quarter? They have ton of space. Oh, they'll have to sign a couple guys, though. But they would have the space for him. And my theory is that the devils couldn't make a trade work with them

because they wanted to have a significant return and there was none return to be had. And the Rangers decided that they weren't going to ante up to make that trade happen. Let me see this. They have 5.5 against the cap open right now. And they still... No, they don't have anybody to sign.

5.5? So it's possible you can make some room for them. Yeah. But so anyways... Oh, no, Zabinajad. They got a sign Zabinajad. They don't have 5.5. That's the situation with Kovilchuk, and it sucks that he's not coming back because that would have been super fun to see.

but there you have it. So Kobe, now, you wanted to talk about John DeVaris real quick before we get to movie stuff. He needs to be the guy that waits. Get to July 1st and then go somewhere else. Or if the Islanders are 105-point team this year, somehow Jordan Eberley transforms this team and gets them 30 more points in the standings. Stick around, but just don't get me. The Scuttlebutt is that he is not signing because of the arena situation.

Which I don't blame him because the arena situation could turn into a location situation, which could turn into... You mean a relocation situation. Yeah. You could find a plan somewhere else completely. So I'm... Hon. Ha, ha, hon.

Jean-au-Varez. Hello, I am Jean-Tauvarez. Welcome to the Quebec-Cra Nordique. I am here to tell you that you must not take your eye off the ice while the puck is in play. Wanted me. The protective netting is very good, but your eyes could be even better. I agree. I think...

Listen, I want him to stay with the islanders. I know he wants to stay with the islanders, but, like, you got it. You got to take some baby steps here because it is a situation where you've already gone through one move with them. And who the hell knows where you're going next? Who knows if the Belmont arena is going to happen? Who knows if you're going to be stuck in Brooklyn or whatever? You know, playing in front of 13,000 fans of the Coliseum because Brooklyn evicts you. Lugging around Jordan Eberley and nothing else in that fucking roster.

It's a big... You just traded Hamminic for picks. It's a big-ass decision, so I don't blame him for taking his time on it as much as they want to sign him. like the other thing about the Carrie Price signing is that it lends a level of stability to that team that the Islanders right now don't have with Tavares kind of just hanging out

there right now. Yeah, but Carrie Price is the stability that's what I'm saying. If you didn't sign then why would you go there as a free agent? You know what I mean? Like if you're Carl Osner, you're like oh, I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Like signing him is stability. It's nine years of Carrie Price. Yeah, signing. If you're an Islander a prospective

Islander's player or season ticket holder or And you're looking at John DeVaris maybe leaving, that's not stability. And so I know that Islanders fans want that level of stability, but I don't blame him for waiting. Yeah, he should totally wait. He should stamp coat just wait. Because maybe, maybe the Islanders are horseshit next season. And then they're like, all right, John Tavares, how would you like to go to Toronto for the rest of the year? Finally, the news is going to come out after we finish taping.

But McDavid is going to sign in the neighborhood of 13.25 million per year. That report was from Fridge. It was accurate. Rymer Shog says the number he settled on maybe lower, so maybe it's a little bit lower than that. If so, good on them for getting them to bring that deal down a little bit because it's a pretty high cap hit. And I know that people were sort of a little bit concerned vis-a-vis,

you know, what other players like Crosby have taken versus what McDavid's going to get and how that means for the team. But, you know, it's fine. You pay that, pay that. pay that dude what he wants. That guy deserves all the monies. And your Edmondson. So they have to overpay for him.

The only problem is if the cap stays flat for a couple more years, then you're getting to an issue. Because, like, the idea behind his cap is that by the time we get to year four, it's going to be that percentage of the cap. It's like Crosby. But if revenue isn't going anywhere, then it sort of becomes an issue. But, like, you would rather pay him 13.25 than pay Carl Olsner, 5. Whatever.

So, great deal. Say hello to many outdoor games in China. probably most likely all right movie time for for a second then we'll get back to hockey I saw three things recently

I saw I saw the big sick and that movie was great and I recommend people go to see it if only because the best thing in that movie that was the Kamail movie about him and Emily Gordon

meeting and she fell into a coma when they first got together and the whole thing I thought Zoe Kat Kazan was the Yeah, but she's, she's the, but Emily's his real life wife. She's, she's the Emily and the movie is, it's based on their lives together.

Zoe's not his wife in real life. She's an actress. Actresses play roles. You're acting as though I should know who Emily Gordon is. Jesus. So anyways. Name three movies with Emily Gordon. She's not an actress.

She's a writer. I can't name three movies. Oh. So I should just know who some writer is. Ray Romano is so incredibly good in this movie as her dad. Like, I can't even put into, like, best supporting actor quality work by Ray Romano in this movie. He's great. He's fantastic.

He's worth the price of mission. I saw Alien Covenant, finally. Let me tell you about Alien Covenant. Alien Covenant is Ridley Scott being like, you know what interests me? All the stuff we did in Prometheus, you know, the chance to explore humanity's beginnings, the chance to talk about artificial intelligence and how it relates to humanity and the android character of David.

This all fascinates me. And then the studio came back to it and said, you know what fascinates us? Fucking aliens. Blowing them up and having them kill them. Here's the deal. You're going to do all that weird android shit. How about this?

You could have two Michael Fastmenders and they kiss each other in the movie. Oh, is that what happens? Yeah. Spoiler. But here's what we're going to need. We're going to need, oh, let me see. a alien. And also some facehuggers, and also aliens burst out of people's chests,

and maybe out of their backs. We're going to need some cool-ass alien stuff. And you know what else will probably need? Danny McBride. People love Danny McBride. We want him in our alien movie. And really Scott's like, and if I agree to do all this, you will allow me to have a psychological exploration. We'll allow you to just, it could just whatever the fuck you need is fine. You can have lots of talky parts and all this other shit. Just give us. an alien on top of a spaceship and Dan McBride in a cowboy hat going, oh shit, an alien! Like, if you give us that, you can do all the other stuff.

And that, friends, is Alien Covenant. And by the way, it's fun as shit. And I think a similar thing happened in Baby Driver where he was like, Roy, I want to explore what it's like to have your parents murdered by an accident with a car when you're young. And I want to really explore the ramifications of our crime system where you get pigeonholed by a... All right, wait, is there going to be a car that goes zoom, zoom, zoom, vroom, vroom?

Yes, all right, and you can do whatever the fuck you want with the other shit. That's fine. Let's get into it. I love Baby Driver. I love the movie. It's my third favorite Edgar Wright movie, but it's a great, great movie. And I had a ton of fun at it. And I feel like you've missed the point of it because I feel like you went in thinking it was going to be some sort of mediation on crime and legacy.

I thought it was going to be a heist movie. It is a heist movie. No, it's not. Yes, it is. When the camera is on the guy sitting in the car while all the heists happen, that's not a heist movie. If you watched Oceans 11. Yes. And while the heist was going on,

fucking... Elliot Gould was just puttering around his house the whole time, listening to music. You'd fucking hate that movie. He is the getaway driver. The movie's about him. It's not about the people stealing the stuff. It's about him behind the wheel of the car.

And his experiences in this life of crime. His boring, fucking uninteresting experiences where he goes to buy coffee. Wow. What a great movie that was. He had a really... He's a beautiful relationship with a waitress. Yeah, that he met like two days earlier. out of the one last score, whatever,

and run off with her. It's a beautiful little love story. It's such a bad fucking script. It's just such a bad story. There's just so many holes and so much convenience. Like, this is the thing I tweeted about it was, I have never seen such a portrayal of police officers as that incompetent since the fugitive.

They're pretty bad. They're just the worst fucking, like, and I read something too where like he's been trying to make this movie for 20 years or something like that. It's been in his head for 20 years. Like 20 years ago, I can buy some of the ways a car can elude police in a major city after a robbery when there's a helicopter on it. That first fucking scene, the way the car gets away from the helicopters is so stupid. It is Atlanta, though.

It's so stupid that I was like, oh, no, what did I get myself into? To me, Atlanta's a place where they don't really have a lot of facility for high-speed chases. If this was L.A., it'd make a lot of sense. But to me, Atlanta is still very much in a boss hog kind of Dukes of Hazard law enforcement. This is your fucking northern bias. Major Citi. He just have to jump a car over a river and then he's like, oh, damn damn Duke boys, I'll get you next time.

Oh my God. There's so many things about this movie that weren't good. Like, the convenience, there's a lot of convenience stuff, but like let's talk about Ansel Elgort's character. First of all, I like, there were two good characters in the whole movie. Future Puck Soup guest, Ansel Elgord, huge ranger fan. Yeah, but we're never going to have John Hammond because he's

fucking terrible in this movie. He's such a bad actor, it's un-fucking unbelievable. He's literally the best thing in the movie. He is not. Did you see it? Did they run the movie in reverse or something? Like, how is a possible. But every opinion you have is about the... John Ham is a menacing, evil, revengeful guy at the end is so out of his fucking depth. It's embarrassed.

But we'll get to that later. He was incredible. Kevin Spacey plays a guy called Doc. If you've seen the movie Heat, he's like the John Voight guy. He sets up all the crimes. He's got the inside guy. He knows where all the cameras are. He knows how many tellers there are, how much money is there.

All these clever schemes to steal shit. there's a point in the movie where they're going to rob the post office he's like here's the plan post office getaway route cameras this don't you don't you don't bring up the nephew no no no nephew's funny there's like two or three funny parts

that was one of them he's got this whole entire scheme to rob the post office and he's like all right I need you guys to go pick up some guns and stuff it's kind of weird that he wouldn't already have these already this mastermind doesn't have this already

picked up and planned they're ready, but fine. He sends them off. This might be a bit of a spoiler, but it's not. It's fucking stupid anyway. You're going to be mad when you see this part of the movie. He sends off these maniacs to go pick up guns from what are dirty cops. And he doesn't mention this to the people that are going to pick up the guns who have been in crime forever, who may have encountered these cops to avoid a misunderstanding where they feel like they're about to get trapped by cops because they recognize them as cops. He doesn't tip off his crew. that he's buying the guns from cops for no fucking reason other than Edgar Wright wanted there to be a shootout in that scene for no reason.

It makes no sense for Kevin Space's character to do that. He's not a mastermind. He's built that way. He's not a mastermind. He clearly makes mistakes. At one point in a movie, he says he never works with the same crew twice, but then he recycles all the people that we've seen before for a last, the biggest he's. The same crew. He brings back different pieces of the different crews.

The point being is that he's not, he's very much like. Like, to bring it back to another movie, he's like the old man in Reservoir Dogs. Like, he seems like he's got his shit together. But at the end of the day, he hires a psycho. And the loose cannon, in this case, Jamie Fox, is the reason everything goes sideways. So he's not good at hiring. He's shitty at HR. He's been doing this for decades.

Yeah. Now he's bad at hiring. He's not perfect. So there's that part of the Kevin Spacey thing. And there's another part of the Kevin Spacey thing where his character is like this terrifying guy, he shows up while he's on a date. He's like, you're going to get back into this. because you know what I can do to you and like, oh my God, fine, I'll do it.

Don't hurt my girlfriend. And then the last scene, he's willing to die for Ansel Elgort after he fucked him over and destroyed his line of work. He's no longer, he's done. He's, he's, Ansel Elk, also the other thing, too, why am I rooting for Ansel Elgort in this movie? A guy who has been facilitating felonies and the occasional murder for a decade. And he gets off at the end for five fucking years.

Bullshit. Oh, my God. Spoilers left and fucking right. No one's listening to this podcast anyway. So, no, your point's taken where he is not a character that you necessarily root for. It seems like a good guy. Like at the end when he gets caught, I'm like, oh, good. And then he only gets five years based on the testimony of his girlfriend and the testimony of a lady.

He's car he robs at gunpoint and gives a purse back. That's insane. It occurs to me as this is the last one of these we're going to do maybe for a little bit this summer. It's been a while since Spoiler Dave showed up and just went fucking really nilly. We'll put it in the description. We'll put it in the description. came out less than two weeks ago. I'll put it in the description.

Oh, my God. I want to listen to it. Jesus. Like, holy fuck. What was the one that everybody hated you for? That was nine months later. That was the Mr. Robot. Mr. Robot, right.

Oh, God, this is terrible. But anyway, your opinions on this movie are horrible. The best part, two, one more thing, one more thing. The best part two was there's a part at the end. Of course. When there's a lot of corny, like, once you, there's a certain point in the movie where my theater gave up a little bit. You could tell, like, there was, like, a lot of grumbling.

And there's a part at the end where I, on the spot they concoct this plan to get John Hamm who's out for revenge but they push John Ham's car off of this parking deck and but you know he got out of the car because right before that the door opens right nobody right and so he of course

Ansela Lager gets out of the truck and looks over the edge and oh my God John Ham's there my theater groan so fucking hard at the fact that John Ham suddenly was Jason Voorhees and could not be killed for the last 15 minutes of this movie it was it was unbelievable like this movie was like all these different things that weren't meshed well together.

I noticed that there's one thing that you haven't mentioned, which is the actual reason that this movie exists, which is the marriage of music to action, the marriage of sound to action, and to the music. The entire movie is an exercise and the sound. It's sinking up shots from a gun to the music on the soundtrack. It's the fact that this kid is listening to music

because of his tinnitus and then driving the car to the beats of the songs. it's as if you've missed the entire reason Edgar Wright makes movies, which is to bring all these elements together in a symphony of violence and action. Sean of the Dead. He did that for 30 seconds and Sean of the Dead when they were beating the Winchester guy with the Hoolcues. He didn't do a whole movie on it.

Well, yeah, it did Scott Pilgrim, which is very much like this movie in the sense that there's all of this stuff happening that sinks in with the action. And you're completely downplaying how affected the performances were, like the movie is extraordinarily well cast Ham's great Ham goes from being what you've believed to be

Buddy Buddy with the main character to being an absolute fucking monster by the end Jamie Fox and Kevin Spacey both bring elements of complete menace to their roles It's fan fucking tastic this movie And the fact that you didn't bring up the music tells me That you went in thinking it was going to be something

You didn't get it And then you decided to drop your pants You shit on it Because they didn't serve your needs As a moviegoer Because you know what when I go to the movies I don't want to see a script or a good story I want to see the bullets

sinking up to the song he's listening to. But that's the point of the movie. You went to come see heat. How is that the point? No, that's the point of the movie. The enjoyment of the film. The enjoyment of the film is this marriage of music.

That can be an enjoyable aspect of a film. That can't be the film. That is the film. That's why it's great. That's like Christopher Walkins video where he dances around the mall. Only that for two hours. And then you're looking at that video and you're like, where's the pathos? How come we're supposed to root for this guy?

No, it's a music video. For a music video, you're like, great. That's interesting. That's pretty cool how they synced up everything. Sean of the Dead Scott Pilgrim and then Baby Driver. That's your top three. I'm not as big on Hot Fuzz as everybody else's. I like Hot Fuzz the best.

Yeah. It's a thing. It's a thing that you've already seen only worse. Like when he's fucking dancing around, the one long shot, like when Sean of the Dead, he goes to the store to buy his shit. It's the same thing with the coffee and this. Like it's just. It's great.

It could have been better. You'll love it. You'll love Ancelal Gordy's like a young Ryan in Philippi. And I have lots fucked up. Now he's never going to come on the podcast. Why? Why? Philippi's great.

The star of USA's shooter. Well, it's not into later day, Philippi as much as I was. The Philippe of Breach and Cruel Intentions and 54. And also the Jamie Fox, the way Ansela, you knew that was coming. The second they pull up to the post office, you know how Jamie Fox is going to die in the next 30 seconds. Holy shit. It was a very predictable, convenient thing. I want to just issue an apology to, like, everybody who hasn't seen this film that dumped into the segment thinking,

wow, they'll just talk around the edges. And this motherfucker has done everything but mention who the best boy was in the credits. The best boy. Actually, you know what they should have done? Yes, what's that? The dude whose name I don't know

but he's in a bunch of movies, the guy from the first crew in the movie who's only in there for two seconds who busts baby drivers shit about his tinnitus and stuff that guy. That guy should have had the John Hamroll. That guy could have pulled Oh, the dude John Baranthole who plays the John Barrenthaw, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy should have had the John Hamm. Yeah, I could see that, but John Hamm was great. And also, that guy couldn't have had a John Hamm role, because at no point you ever believe that that guy is a good guy and is a sympathetic character. And that's the great thing about Ham's arc is that he goes from being a guy that you're sort of rooting for to realizing he's actually a psychopath like the rest of him.

So anyways, you don't even need to see the movie anymore. We spoil it for you. Now is the time. Also, the cars zoom around and go, vroo-roo! It's really great. Wow, your taste is so bad. It's so painful to sit next to you sometimes And hear you talk about movies

Because you hate You don't know what good movies are I defied I'm assuming you've seen Oceans 11 and I are So I know you've seen good movies And they didn't sync up any of the robberies to music And somehow those movies were still great I don't know how they pulled it off

That's the only way movies is good now Is if they can sync up a queen's song From 30 years ago to a bang That's the thing too is they collide In the fucking mall parking lot of this There's just so much bullshit convenience It helps when you understand what the director's trying to do.

I'm just going to say that. It does help. It helps when the director doesn't make the movie you want to see, you don't get all boo-boo-faced about it, and then complain about the movie not being the thing that you wanted. Follow the guys who are doing the heist. The movie's called fucking Baby Driver. It's not Baby Heist Guys.

It's a driver. The movie's about the driver. Did you go to drive and you're like, why are they following around the boss? Why follow Brian Cranston more? Why are you spending so much time on guys? Because the movie is called Drive. He's the driver.

So you hated the Godfather because every scene didn't involve the Godfather. When the Godfather is off. K off the scene. This sucks. She's not the Godfather. The Godfather's not on screen. This movie's called Godfather. When the Godfather's not on screen, all the other characters should be saying,

hey, where's the Godfather? Wait, what's that from? That's a Pucci episode. Where's the baby driver? All right. One other thing. This is not Baby Driver related. The movie, one of the previews before the movie was another heist movie with Channing Tatum and Kylo Rengue from girls.

Oh, Adam Driver, yeah. Oh, yeah, that was Steven Silverberg. Yes. The Soderberg movie, yeah. That seems like an actual legit hoist movie as opposed to Baby Driver. But about the hoist people. I need someone who's already seen the movie to tell me exactly how many minutes of screen time Seth McFarlane has. Because if it's more than seven, I'm not going to go see it.

If it's less than seven, I will go see that in the theaters because it looks pretty. I'll only see it if someone sees it and tells me that Seth McFarland has a music. musical number in the middle of it called We Pull the Heist Heist We pull the heist with Diane Weist That doesn't rhyme with Heist We stole the coins

The money and the ice We pulled the heist I saw your boobs I also saw a preview Did you see the preview for Daddy's Home too With So Walberg and Will Ferrell were in Daddy's Home Which is a movie I didn't see

Oh were the stepdad Their stepdad In the sequel. Is the sequel? Yeah, hold on. Will Ferrell's father is John Lithgow, and Walberg's father is Mel Gibson. And it's like the grandpas are now involved of it too.

And here's the thing. I don't know if we're allowed to laugh at Mel Gibson anymore. Because at one point he was a really, really funny actor, and I enjoyed watching his films. But boy, was he funny in this trailer. I don't know if we're allowed to like it or not, but he was fucking funny. That reminds me of the HBO thing you're doing.

where now, like, apparently we're all ready to laugh at Lance Armstrong being a billion-dollar fraud. Right. I don't know if I'm ready to watch that. In a movie about cheating and cycling. I know. It's like, what an amazing moment of what's the way I'm looking for? The opposite of character assassination, a character repair? Yeah, like, why are we doing that for him?

Yeah, I'm not going to. I didn't love the tennis thing with John Snow. I don't think that was that. No, but this thing looks kind of funny, though. But, like, I'm not ready to, like, laugh at Lance Armstrong and consider him. Learn to laugh at Lance again. Sympathetic. All right, now we're going to open up the Pucksuit mailbag and try to get over this incredibly horrible

spoiling of films and movie taste that you just heard. Five years in prison he gets. It makes no sense. There's nobody alive to vouch for his story that he got pulled into crime because he was a baby. All right, starting from this point on, there'll be no more baby driver talk. No. What's your name? My name's baby.

Fuck you. What's your name? Stop calling you. My name's baby. Oh, that was a good Antalilaligort right there. Ansel Elgort was good in this too I just Ansel Algorat I saw some things too where people were like oh man

Edgar doesn't write the women characters really well He doesn't write any of them well in this movie They're all bad and that is the end of the conversation About baby driver starting now So do check it out it's great Here's uh now we're going to open up the puck soup mailbag Mike Haxtad writes in I don't follow closely follow any other sports

Are Homer fans elsewhere equally idiotic uninformed And embarrassing is in hockey Currently talking about the McDavid dry-suttle contract at conversations. Yeah, I mean, I think, I think, as far as like insufferable Homer fans, probably hockey's up there. I feel like, I feel like football might be more self-loathing. And baseball is pretty.

Baseball is very much like hockey where people get mad at unwritten shit and disrespecting your opponent and all that stuff. Like somebody asks us this at the live show. They were like, hey, what's the worst? fan base. And I always say it's the fan base of the team that's, you know, the avalanche of three years ago, Columbus of last year. Like those are the fans that never want to hear about how their team is lucky. Right. Like so in baseball, I think it's kind of the same thing. They kind of have like bad biff and stuff like that where you know, your pitcher's getting like, but I don't know.

Edmonton's fan base is interesting though, because I feel like ever since the the blog boom of the late odds when Delo was doing his thing and low tide was doing his thing, I feel like there's been this sort of contentious relationship between the fans and the media in the sense that the fans are convinced that they are smarter than everybody who's ever written about that TV. And it's fun to see, to be honest with you. It's really fun to see them be like the ombudsman

to people like Mark Spector and Jim Matheson and all those other guys. It's kind of fun. Dave Gannett, Jenet. Oh shit. Dave Jeannet? Sure. Do you think Sackick is actually a super villain his plot to ensure the only Ave

success is when he was actually a player? Do you think that Joe Sackack is actively subverting the avalanche so everybody remembers that his teams were the only good teams? That's a really good theory. I mean, based on how he's managed, yeah? And then he brings in, like, Patrick Wawa's, like, he's Clooney. Right. Patrick Waz, Brad Pitt.

And they come up with his plan. And the only way that he would allow the team to succeed is when him and Patrick Wao were there. Oh, you think he was still trying at that point? Yeah, that point he was still trying. They had one good season. Then Wai leaves, and now Jack's like, fuck it. I feel like they were still conspiring at that point to be bad. They were like, let's get me on Grigeranko in here.

Right, okay, that's a good point because at that point, Patrick Waugh is allowing his teams to give up 45 shots a game. He's pulling his goalie 10 minutes into the third period. You might be onto something here. The one good defenseman, Tyson Barry, gets shredded every time Patrick Waugh talks about him. That's a good point. Dave's on to something here. The Beer Money podcast wants to know Brian Elliott, really?

Does that count as two questions? Damn it, that's three now. I didn't hate the Brian Elliott signing. I think it's a stopgap. to other better younger goalies for the flyers. And I think he's fine. He'll do fine there. He might be better than he was in Calgary.

That's a fine contract. Noviere that I don't get as far as the other part of that battery with him. I feel like that. Steve Mason contract's bad, too. For the Jets? Oh, it's a bad contract. But he's going to be better than what they had there. But, like, my feeling is, like, the reason why the goleys are bad is the team.

I don't think it's the goalie situation. Like, if the team plays better, they'll get better stats. And I feel like if Steve Mason's a 9-13 goalie next year, I feel like any jet goaltender on the roster could do the same thing. So it's entirely possible that Connor Hollyabuck could end up being the new Steve Mason in the sense that he has to leave Winnipeg to find his game. They gave him one season. They gave him one season with a bad team in front of him with the defense was all banged up all year too. It's just a weird sign. Dougie Iceback actually digs your baby driver.

He says it's very overrated, too long, got bored in the middle. weird sudden change in Spacey's character, cool action synced with music, which is my point. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, when the mall shootout was cool. Like, there was some... I'm not saying like every second of the movie was bad, but, like, it just...

When the baby wasn't driving... You're pulling back a little bit on the reins a little bit, because you talked about how shitty it was. Oh, it's shitty. Don't go see it. But there's parts of it when you watch it on HBO, and it's on non-stop there in seven months. They're going to be like, oh, that was cool. Sam Browning wants to know the favorite, least favorite, over-

and underrated of my impressions. I'm kind of interested to get your feedback on this now that we've done the show for as long as that we have. I still say favorite, favorite mad dog. Well, yeah, we did an entire award show with, for God's sakes. Underrated Babcock. Wait, what are the other options?

You scrolled up. So it's underrated, all right, least favorite and favorite. So least favorite, all right, overrated is your Pierre. That sounds nothing like Pierre. Yeah, that's a character at sure, though. Yeah, yeah. But it's become like a character on the show, though.

A little bit. Lehi. My Sean Leahy because it's my Donald Trump. No, but that makes me laugh. I picture Sean Leahy walking around his apartment with his t-shirt tucked into his... Call me the Laker. Yeah, it was fake news. He'll be tweeting that in like two weeks.

Least favorite. There is none. Every impression I do is a beautiful glistening diamond. Brizz is good Jim Rome is good Wreck him I'll come back That's fine

Glenn wants to know Celebrity crush You're most embarrassed about Wow that's a good question Why would I be embarrassed about a celebrity crush Like There's somebody that I want to mention Hmm

Um like I've always had a thing for Tilda Swinton And then I recently found out She's like 5-9 and it just Is you Really? She's tall. Oh, wow.

Like, we could comfortably slow dance together. That's great. That just makes it even better. Um, we're, oh, oh, this is it. I got one. Right here. CNN's Aaron Burnett. Oh, boy.

I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, had a little, a little crush on Aaron Burnett. Like, I think she's, she's, she's, she's, smart, and, and, but I mean, like, that's something like, like, who's, you know, who, hey, who's hot. And you're like, Aaron Burnett, you know, that's not exactly. You know, that's not exactly one. And plus the CNN thing. It's not cool like anything on CNN anymore.

I mean, Trump gave them the rock bottom pretty much. So I think it would have to be somebody who I despise personally but find attractive, right? That's kind of what, like it would have to be like a Fox News anchor. Oh, that's a great one. Like Michelle Malta. Oh, right. Right, where I'm just like, I fucking hate her. Oh, like your love of Greta fan Custrin.

No. She followed me on Twitter for a while. Did she really? And then, like, I think she realized my politics didn't match up with her. and then she bailed. She reminds me of... I forget why she started. Who was that comic that was around

and the Rosie O'Donnell, sort of Judy Tonona, Apollo Poundstone. She reminds you of Paula Boundstone. You know, coming up, what Trump needs to do to build that wall and also some stuff about my kids.

I don't know if I have a bad celebrity crush. Well, I mean, you have impeccable taste in movies and women, apparently, so, you know. Yeah, like, Baby Driver. That's like the Fox News anchors of movies. John wants to know

favorite beer to drink while grilling. Well, first of all, I live in Manhattan, so my grilling days are on hold until I'm no longer in Manhattan. But like, what's the difference

between a good beer while I'm grilling or a good beer while I'm like watching a hockey? Yeah, good beer while you're showering or good beer while you're digging a shit. Yeah. People, I never understood that.

People who like decide their food or drink based on like the season, like seasonal beer or like people that won't, I remember one time at the NHL, I went to get sued. Seasonal beer is okay. Like I'm not drinking a Bells Oberon in winter. Why?

Because I don't, it doesn't, I'm not in the mind. No, because as the seasons change, you're feeling towards how you, your feelings, you're feeling towards beers change. Like, in the wintertime, I would like a darker, deeper, you know, Martson or a stout. And in the summertime, when the living is easy, I want to have a lighter beer and maybe something a little bit more fruit forward or something like that. I hate beer in the summer.

Like, beer in the summer only because it just gets so high. so fast if you're outside with it. But like, I, I, like, the new town, summer in the beery. Thank you. Back of my throat getting dry and weirdy. But like, like, people won't have soup in the summer. I don't get that.

Because, like, I have Vichy Swah. It's supposed to be cold, according to Alfred the Butler and Batman 89. I've never actually had it. Oh, my God. Thank you. Batman 89. I love when you identify your Batman's by years. It's Vichy Swah, sir.

It's supposed to be cold. Oh, Bain? Is Bain my least favorite? Vichy swale, sir. It's supposed to be cold. How could you hate that? You can't eat that at all. Nobody eats soup in the summertime. It's too hot on the time. All right, read the last couple questions in various voices

that we have in the stress. I don't get refused to. All right, real quick, is the last one. Who's worse? People who over-hype a TV show or movie or people who refuse to see watch something because it is overhiked. Oh, it's the second thing. I'm that guy. I'm the worst. I'm the worst part of that equation. I like that reference, though.

I like that reference. I like that self-awareness, I should say, of your flaws. Like, glow. Everyone in my timeline is tweeting about glow. And my instinct is to be like, fuck all these people. I don't want to watch this shit. Glow is very much, I find it to be, I'm only about six to six episodes in. I find the humor to be very much like Orange is the New Black where it's not like hilarious.

It's amusing. I like the character. It's very much more is New Black because it's made by the same. same person. It's amusing. I like the characters. It's, it nails the 80s thing. Mark Marin is fucking brilliant in it as sort of this coaked up like horror director who's putting the wrestling together. And I wonder what he drew on for that. Interesting. I got to find my muse, man. I don't know. Like I never really lived this life, man.

I'll just talk to some of my comic friends, I guess. It's good. And as somebody who actually was old enough to remember when glow was on, like Channel 11 it was it's funny to see how they're dealing with the archetypes like it oh wait was a glow with oh this is actually about the real gorgeous ladies of wrestling yeah like on the real glow

there was a giant like Hawaiian or Filipino woman named Mount Fiji oh yeah I remember Mount Fiji and on the on this glow her name is Machu Picchu so it's like that little tweaks of that sort of thing they take some of the stuff that you saw like they had the evil Soviet character on glow and they kind of assigned

that to someone else on this show But is it based on stuff that really happened? Yeah, it's based on the actual glow. No, no, no, no, no, it's based on it. Yeah. And I was saying the other day, like, that one of the greatest things ever on Glow was they had two, a tag team

of women who had facial masks and carried around rolling pins named, like, the housewives, or whatever the fuck. And like, and like they did that briefly on this, on this, it's so over the top. It's not bad. But to answer your question, Kyle, I do think that people who refuse to see something

because it's overhyped are horrible. in Dave's case because you have to be able to... I saw a baby driver. You have to be able to see something and then form your opinion based on it rather than form your opinion based on the opinion of others. That said, I do think that while we're in an era of Peak TV, we are very much an era of every new thing that comes around

gets hyped to the fucking moon. And glows on that... A lot of the things I love are in that ill. Glow, stranger things. Why are these things all on Netflix? I got to get on that Netflix. Yeah, I mean, I think there's a thing that happens now. And especially shows that are now taking a little bit of a risk

and are offering something different are often hyped to the moon because they are taking that risk, no matter what the quality of the show is. The jump up, the get off, the jump get on, whatever the fuck the show was on Netflix that Bosn-Lerman did, that kind of captured hip-hop culture in the 1980s in New York, like, wasn't good. but it got hyped to the moon because it was offering a slice of life and a different approach that other shows did.

And I feel like that's happening too is that as long as it doesn't look like something that's come before it, it's getting hype to the moon, which is annoying. But that said, go binge Legion because it was fucking great. You know what really annoys me more than those other two things? Have you seen commercials for that TV show wrecked where they're all? Yeah. Like, yeah. How to fuck is that get season two? Like just based on the commercials where they're showing you the funny stuff.

stuff. You're just like... We're at like peak... What? We're at like peak content where there's so much of it. Yeah. Why can't I get my content on a TV show? I've got content. It's mediocre. You just have to find the right network. Playing House? Do you have to the commercials for playing house?

There are some network out there right now showing reruns of the facts of life. And all you have to do is tell them the Dave Lozo show will bring you more eyes than this rerun of the facts of life. Which, by the way, got more viewers than undisputed on Fox Sports One yesterday. Like if someone came to me,

like Dave, we read your pilot, we read your treatment. This is fantastic. Here's what we're going to do. From 11 o'clock to 1 a.m. on Nick, we're going to bump off friends. I'm going to be like, no! No! No, no, no, no. Don't sign anything. Everybody out of the room. We're not touching that. All right. Thus ends the puck soup season for a little bit. We'll come back in the summer and do another show for you at some point. But anyways, thank you all for an amazing season. Thank you for building this into an incredibly popular podcast that many, many, many thousands of people enjoy each week.

It is an honor and a privilege to have an audience for a show that is not very easy to sell or consume in some ways. But anyways, what's the final number on McDavid? I don't know. I just see Bob McKenzie taking a day off from being Bobby Margarita at a toss shade at a sports centray tweet that was deleted. I don't know what it was, but it just says, hey, guys, which part of the numbers may not be entirely accurate did you not understand? So I'm guessing they quote tweeted something into a sports center tweet. See it? Yeah.

poor Bobby. Bobby's just trying to make some margaritas out there and yeah, that's cottage and he's, the others are making him do work. Okay, not official as I'm not working, but I believe the deal will be eight by 12.25s. That's good. I mean, they get a little bit off the top, a million off the top. McDavid insisted on lowering it. Oh, Connor, what a hero. Absolutely hero. Hey, it's a friend of the podcast, Connor McDavid. Anyway, thank you so much everybody for consuming this thing. We'll be back. We have a lot of things planned for you next year. Maybe some extra things beyond the weekly podcast that you love so much.

Extra things. Extra things. Not to be confused, but stranger things. They may be strange, but they could be very strange. But we love you guys. And again,

the show in Toronto is September 7th. We'll be back with another podcast before then, we assume, to hype it up a little bit. But thanks again for all this stuff and dropping reviews and doing the thing and letting people know about the show.

And apologies again for having Dave spoil the should or the baby driver. We're going to put a thing in the description. We'll put the time in which we start the baby driver thing and the time it ends.

And people can avoid it if they want. Anyway, I'm Greg Wyshski, if you Iowa Sports and Oath presentation. You can follow me on Twitter at Wichinsky. You can buy my book, take your eye off the puck. It's good beach reading. We got our book if you're like Ruby and have a Kindle. The 100 greatest players in HL history and other stuff.

And thanks again for a great season. And here, Friends, is Dave Lozo. Okay. We haven't talked a lot at the end of the shows lately because usually people are forcing this out of here. But I would now like to summarize the last seven episodes of the Young Pope. episode three now it starts with the young

Pope what I can't what you can leave the room I'll top you on the shoulder when it's done this is something that you need you back on your other on Popecast yeah me and me and me and Lambert got to get back on that oh yeah Lambert

did Lambert leave town we could have gotten Lambert on today couldn't we? I don't remember I saw the other night I had many I always Bobby Margarita the other night Lambert that's my least favorite impression because it makes Ryan sad It does make him sad. Not instead is the Diplaticus when the meteor hit.

All right. That's obviously least favorite by default. All right. Love you guys. Talk to you guys soon. Thanks for listening. Thanks to Nerdus. Thanks to Katie Levine for being the best to put the show together.

Thanks, Katie. And we'll talk to you soon. Bye. Schlemco. Now leavingnerdist.com.