Puck Soup - Jonah Keri Hearts Claude Julien

Episode Date: February 16, 2017

Dave and Greg talk with Jonah Keri (The Jonah Keri Podcast) about his beloved Montreal Canadiens firing Michel Therrien and hiring Claude Julien, as well as the trend of recycling coaches in hockey and baseball. That, plus JOHN WICK vs. JACK REACHER and a Keanu movie quiz; Antoine Vermette smacks a ref and gets suspended; Gustav Nyqvist smacks a Wild player and gets suspended; Patrik Laine and the Calder Trophy; the wacky Eastern Conference playoff race; Taco Bell Cantina; fan behavior at Jennifer Lopez concerts; Dave gives Greg a quiz about hockey erotica book titles; and listener mail on the best James Bond and the worst aspect of fan identity. Sponsored by Seat Geek and Harrys.com!

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You need to go to that settings tab. You need to click add a promo code. The promo code that you require is S-O-U-P, soup. And Seek will send you $20 back you made your first ticket purchase. the app today, get the promo code soup, $20 back, and enjoy the show. Now entering nerdist.com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute.

We also cover movies, TV shows, eats and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nonsense. Part two. I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo's Puckdadi blog and Jackreacherfan.com. I'm Dave Lozo. I can't believe Greg hasn't seen John Wick 2 or John Wick won yet. And you're in Puck Soup. I'm embarrassed to know you with this one. I believe that the world is split up thusly.

You're either team Jack Reacher. Nobody's on that team. Or team John Wick, look at me. Don't like the wick. That's like saying the world's divided the two. things. Team awesome and team movie. Actually, that's not true. Jack Reacher made a quarter billion dollars. Jack Reacher. I don't know anyone who saw it. I've never once

seen a tweet. They were like, just got a Jack Reacher. Tom Cruise killed it. No one... Jack, no one saw Jack Reacher two, but everybody's... Okay, a good portion of people saw Jack Reacher one. And then it's also been... I feel like it's

been on one of the cable stations like FX or something like that. And one of those deals... FX does this all the time where they play a movie and then they play it right afterwards. So I feel like I saw the second half of Jack Reacher, and then I went back and watched the first half. But like Jack Reacher, say what you will about Jack Reacher. Jack Reacher had Werner Herzog as a villain.

Can John Wick boast such grandeur? The villains aren't really named people. But backing up for a second, you bring up the fact that that movie's on FX all the time. Yeah. Explain to me the FX thing, where two failed comedic actors or comedians try to sell you a fucking DVD

and they stretch out a two-hour movie into three and a half hours of shit I don't want to see. You were talking about DVD on TV. It's the worst. I get so excited when a movie like Spider-Man 3 is on FX because I know that during each commercial break Dave Holmes and some lady... Who's the...

You don't even know their name. Dave Holmes was the guy... Come on. We're around the same age, not real. but almost. There we are. Sure. We're around the same age.

Both 26. Do you remember when that smelly skinny guy won the VJ contest on MTV? Jesse something. Remember there was that they had a VJ contest and the smelly skinny guy who wore like girls jeans before everybody started wearing girls jeans? He was like 6'5, 130 pounds. Yeah, exactly you're talking about. Yeah, that guy.

He won and then Dave Holmes. Oh, my God. You're going to tell me this guy came in second. came in second. I should know who he is. I should know who he is because of this. You do. Yeah. He came in second. I can't tell you who came in second on American Idol four years ago. He came in second. So he was like, he was like, hey, what's up, man? He said, it was like, picture like a Kurt Loder type. And then he lost to fucking Russell Brand. Okay. Let's say he is that guy. Yeah. So I don't want him to tell me what's on the fucking Thor dark world DVD every time they come back from commercial.

Did you know that Thor had to work really hard to get into character in order to play with low keys? Put the movie back on. I'm not buying the DVD. Coming up, we'll show you how they made Taufer Grace's teeth so scary as Venom. It's like this. It's like, and like you always forget, too, like you're going through the channels. You just want something mindless on in the background while you're writing. And you're like, oh, the Avengers.

Hmm, the Avengers are on from two until 630. That movie wasn't that long. Oh, no, it's the DVD thing. No. It's the extended cut. You're like, wow, this must... Oh, it's the one where they fight They fight the Fantastic Four.

It's like, oh, my... It's all the scenes they delete. Oh, no, it's just... It's a guy telling us how they film the Schwarma scene weeks after the movie was locked. What's the name of the guy who plays Agent Smith from The Matrix? What's that guy's name again? Hugo Weaving, yeah.

Did you know that Hugo Weaving had to sit in a makeup chair for three hours every day to get into their red skull makeup? Right. I just felt like it really showed off my face and my emotions. I didn't really have to do anything underneath the middle. makeup. That's right. The makeup team of Johnson balls and face put the makeup on him every morning.

And now back to the movie. Like, just fucking go to the movie. The concept of it's not that bad, except it's like, okay, the idea is like you didn't buy the DVD, but we're going to bring you the DVD extras in the show. The problem is that they pick all the DVD extras

that you'd skip. Like if it was... That has to be every single extra. It's a two-hour movie You're like three and a half hours every time You know they're like If you have the Avengers DVD You're like let's see

Let's see history of Iron Man Every issue of the Avengers ever Exclusive interview at Stan Oh wait Yeah that's the one that makes the air True believers I conceive the Avengers As a bunch of teenagers

With strange and mysterious powers But the problems of normal everyday teenagers Excelsior And I said that the only way I would do these movies is if I can make more awkward cameos than M. Night Shyamalan and his. And I said to the National Hockey League, I said, look, what you need are 30 superheroes themed to each team. The Maple Leaf will throw a sap bomb. I need at some point before I die. I'm 39 years old.

I'm probably halfway to death at best. I need to read like a 4,000-word account of how that was pitched, who said, Yes. Well, the people in the room that were like, no, this is going to be stupid. We shouldn't do this. There was a story about the Guardians Project and how it lost just an unconscionable amount of money. Like, like, there's no way. Yeah, it lost.

There's no way it could have ever made it. But I know what you mean. Like, maybe that's on us. Maybe we need to find for this podcast. And we're going to put the bat signal up here on Puckoo because we actually have a listenership. Are these mics on? Yeah. If you are someone who either knows someone or.

or wants to help tell the story of Actually, I'll give you two things If you know anything about the Guardian project And how it happened and how it went down And why it was terrible Come on the show Also, if you were involved in the creation of thermoblades The warm, the skates

What are those? Remember the skates that had warm blades That were supposed to make you skate faster Because the blades were warm? That makes no sense. Yeah, well, that was a thing that existed. If you help make those come on the show too. We want to talk.

We've had so many good guests on this show that I feel like we need to have some stories of sadness and disappointment, as opposed to the uplift we usually give you from people like Dan Pashman. If we got somebody who was like either on the creation team or the NHL side, I could talk to that person for two hours. Just endless. I would not run out of questions. Be like, well, we got to go. No, we don't have to go. What the fuck is a sticky bomb?

Who thought of that? That's Stan. Because I'm picturing all the George Lucas stuff and how he fucked up all the Star Wars prequels. I want to have like Stan Lee stories where he comes into the room and he's just like, all right, here's the idea. And it's just the worst goddamn idea ever. It's going to be 30 different superheroes and they're going to fight a bad guy named Devin Dark. What does Devin Dark do? He's got glowing red eyes so you know he's a villain.

And so then they all There's a child There's a They're trapped under the ice Right but he's a child And then they all are helping him But Devin Dark wants to get him to Why does Devin Dark want to get him?

Because he is It's based on Gary Bettman He wants to destroy hockey And all the superheroes are going to prevent that from happening How do they settle on Devin Dark? You think they were like banding about names? like Barry Black. No, it's a little too racist.

I don't think we should do that. Evil Knievel. No, that actually is copyrighted and trademark. Man, nightshade. No, we can't. Stan, we can't do that, Stan. That's not going to fly. Did you just say night shave?

Because that reminds me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Props to new sponsor of Bucks Soup Podcast. Segway. That's right. It's your old pals. It's Harry's. I'm going to say something right now about Harry's.

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I don't see any issues with your facial area where you have. I appreciate that. I have razor issues. Well, that's what I'm saying. I don't have razor issues because they use the harries. And it gets in nooks and crannies. And as a man with a round face, I appreciate that. Looks and crannies.

The shaving cream that Harry's gives you was very nice and smooth and smelled of beautiful things. The gel smells like cool water a little bit. And the balm that I need, because I have, again, very fair Irish skin made my face feel good. And the razors are baller, too. Like, it feels like you're shaving your face and cutting your whiskers down with like 75 blades. You know what we should do is next week we'll do a little taste test. What? Put the razors on our tongues.

No, we'll shave one side of your face with, like, a store brand razor, and the other side with Harry's, and then we'll bring in Chris to touch your face and see if you can tell the day. Which side is bleeding profusely? That's Brand X. Here's the thing about Harry's. We love using it for shaving, and it gives you everything you need for a close, comfortable shave, all for just $2 a blade compared to the four bucks or more you'll pay at the drugstore. Five German-engineered blades, sir. Germany is where they engineer the blades. any of these Scottish fucking blades.

No, not at all. Oh, my God. Lubricating strip, flex hinge for a comfortable glide, trimber blade for hard-to-reach places. I don't know about you, but right around my nose. That's where Harry's helped me a little bit. For me, it's like right where the ball sack gets back inside to where the taint is.

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And again, support the podcast, go get you a razor. It's good for any body part. That's all I'm trying to say. And if you don't have a big old hairy face, get for someone that you love and say here,

shave yourself. Wookie. Go to town on your chest. Yeah. Shave a letter. Can we talk about that for a second? So I saw the other night that you were,

I think you tweeted an alert that the face painting episode of Seinfeld was on. Correct. Got to support the team. I've always had a problem with this episode. Yeah, I noticed that. You're unhappy with the unrealistic nature of David Puddy's hairy chest.

Yeah, it's correct. Now, painting your face made sense to me, but I never understood. Anyone who's going to paint their chest for a sporting event is not going to have the dark forest of chest hair that's true. That Patrick Warburton has that episode. You couldn't even, listen, he was so hairy you couldn't see the D. I know how that sounds, but I'm talking about the chest painting episode. So I was going to say Harry's will take care of that for you as well. Telling it, it's the razor.

The razor itself is the angles you can get on it are fantastic. Just what I'm trying to say. But like most chess painters, I feel like are like 19-year-old college kids in the student section of like a basketball game. You know what I mean? Like no one has anything going on there at that point. David Puddy was like a 45-year-old man. Yeah.

First of all, nobody paints their chest at hockey games too. Was Seinfeld a good show? Maybe it wasn't. No, it was a great show. And I always appreciated that episode as, again, being an example of hockey showing up places where you get excited to see hockey in that place. You know, hockey where you don't expect it. A Martin Broder Jersey in 1995 on TV when like...

Yeah, exactly. On Seinfeld, no less. Right. Like the most popular television show. The most popular New York-based show. Right. You know, you're like, wow. They don't even know.

They hardly even reference that Jersey exists as a territory. Right. You know. Like on 30 Rock Day, what do they bring in? The guy was John Tavares guy, right? He was an Islander fan. He was an Islander guy. Like, that was the best part of Seinfeld was they always have the most

random references like pepper johnson yep and they were because like who's he look like sugar ray leonard no he was like not salt but pepper johnson like who we go to like no one watching that outside of the york probably even got that joke exactly good show uh great show uh speaking of great shows the show in montreal continues sir where god i love it michel terriand is au revoir michel Bon chance Claude Hey and you called it too right Well I

On this On this show I said What Hold on Hold on Oh dude Listen I don't think If it's Montreal

It would be interesting Because that'd be a return engagement I don't think it's going to be Montreal And yet there he is on Twitter when it happens Bragging about how he called it On the other show I do I called it See here's the thing You can't

I understand you don't want to have overlapping content on two podcasts. I feel that pain for sure. But you can't be hedging your calls. It makes us all look bad. But here's the thing. I ain't hedging anything. I had a bunch of people come at me and be like, oh, you didn't see this coming? It was obvious.

I'm like, oh, yeah, it was totally obvious. That the guy who hadn't been fired for abject negligence and middling results for the last three seasons would get fired. There's no clue. And then the guy who was just fired. last week and already coached in this town once would obviously get hired. And it's funny. It's a French town. Exactly.

And like it never ends the whole, you know, you know, people always say it's overblown. Oh, it is overblown about the French language. You do not need to have a person who speaks French airs. It is not a big deal. I listened to two press conferences today with Mark Burge Van and with Claude Julian. And I would say if there was about it. 90 minutes of interview time, I would say roughly 88 of them were in French. It's because you have to speak French.

You have to. You have no choice. That's part of the deal. Like when his five years run up, guess who's going to be the new coach? Alain vigno. This time will have run out in New York and he's going to go coach in Montreal. It's just how it's going to be. I imagine this is like a, like, this is obviously a goal of his, Claude.

Clode. To get back to Montreal. He probably felt like he was two years. young, you know, when he, he was a spry, he was a spry 48-year-olds. He was a 4, 42-year-old. He probably. Hair flowing in the breeze. Yeah.

As he walked down St. Catharines, the fans reaching out to touch his hair, and he just said, no, no, no, I must coach the team. I cannot stay here and talk to you. And he doesn't talk like that. Oh, but I was so young and so ignorant. I spent all of my days at Club Super Sex. Hey, ladies, you want to play the trap with Claude, huh? I do not know what that means, but it sounds good, huh?

I did not concentrate on my studies. Oh, no. Did I ever tell the club super sex story on the show? I think I've told my club super sex story on the show. I think, I don't know if I have or not. I might have told it on the old show, but I'll just briefly, it's having a cigar outside of the bell center. I was up there with a bunch of people for draft,

for All-Star weekend or something. And I was having a cigar with my buddy, and all of a sudden, our friends had gone to club soup out sex, and they walked back and meet us there. And we're like, hey, so how did it go? Like, wow, there was quite a scene there. And then we're like... It's something.

Yeah, we're like, what? And they were telling me a story about how there was a girl who, like, there was a stripper, and she was asking for volunteers on the stage to come on stage and she, you know, pulled up this girl from the audience and, like, basically, like, disrobed her and threw her down and, like, savaged her on stage. Sounds okay if you're into that sort of thing, I guess. And everybody was cheering.

And then, like, one of my friends was, like, this seems so bizarre, like, as an American who's not used to the French. Canadian sex club scene I need to find out what this is so my friend went over to her to the girl that was on stage the

civilian the civilian yeah and he's like hey but that was that was something what was that? She goes dude

I'm 17 years old drunk as fuck and I just had my asshole eaten by a stripper And I'm like, oh, so that's how Club Super Sex went. They're like, yeah, that's how Club Super Sex went. Oh, I thought you were going to tell me, like, she was, like, a stripper there, and she was just there, like, on our off day, and she just went up there for fun.

I didn't think you were going to tell me she was a drunk in 17. It's not like a David Copperfield show, okay? She's not like an audience plant. Is there anyone in the audience who would like your asshole, Ian? Yes, you ma'am. Wait, doesn't she work here? Now, we've never met before, myself and your asshole, right? I've never seen your assall, correct.

I saw Copperfield. I saw Copperfield in Vegas, by the way, this past weekend. Yeah? Yeah. Like walking around the streets? No, no. We paid to watch the show. He made your money disappear.

He made her money disappear. I got to say, it's still pretty amazing the shit he does, as far as, like, making himself disappear right in front of your eyes and stuff. But there's definitely kind of, uh... Remember when he was on TV and it was very sort of rock star, sort of, like, leather pants and flowing shirts and shit. Now it's very much like frustrated old Jewish uncle

is just up there being like you know when I was a kid my dad always told me to follow my dreams and do magic here's some magic that's kind of the level of energy for the show right now but just not to say that we didn't have a great time it was a really fun time my super sex story is

Will Cordero and a couple of the expos were there. It was the last year Montreal was in town and they were just hanging out like nothing crazy happened with the guys there I want to say Brad Fulmer was also in the place at the same time. And we saw some stuff. Nothing quite as graphic as a audience participant anal-lingus scene.

But it was still a pretty good couple hours there. It was Allison Williams from girls. I don't know. Yeah, I buried the lead. Jesus. So, Claude. And I love it. I love that move.

It's such a fucking alpha dog move. Just like, you know what? Michelle's my guy. I love Michelle. He's our coach. We are in a fuck's hole together. We are in the foxhole. We are going to, oh, what is that?

Claude is available. On Valentine's Day, no less. That was the great part about it. He got back with his ex on Valentine's Day. Hey, sometimes you have to, yeah, the heart wants what the heart wants, and the heart wants a coach that can get me over the top and get me out of the first round. And that's Claude. But you know what's funny, though?

It seems like the signs are pointing to that he was going to fire Terry in no matter what, because they allegedly reached out to the Panthers about Galant's availability, which I imagine the conversation would have gone like this. So, speak French? Not really. Okay. Good luck in Vegas. What is the French word for taxi cab?

A lot of taxi cab. No, hold on. You paré of Uber? So I could give you a lid if you assign me. But I agree with you. Like, I feel like it's ballsy in the sense that like, Like he had, Mark Birchvan had hitched his wagon so tightly to this coach that, um. Yeah, but he's like the opposite of Doug Armstrong.

It was all just like bullshit. That's what I like about it. Well, it was all bullshit because he knew that it wasn't working. And he was, but he had given him a contract extension. And he wanted to, he wanted to not look like an idiot. So he tried to make it work every time, everything, by with everything he could. You know, he made the Vanek trade. You know, he got, you know, the Weber Suban trade.

Like, he did all these things to try to show that the faithy, put in Terry and wasn't misguided, but it was misguided. And at this point, you can do it. But to me, the biggest thing about this firing and this hiring, the biggest thing is Carrie Price. Like, the whole thing pivot's on Price. Price seven is worst season in four years. You get rid of the coach who obviously he's lost confidence in and right. I mean, there are times in the last two months where Kerry Price literally looked like me playing the outfield as a fourth grader, picking fucking daisies. You know, he was lost at times on some of the goals he gave up because his head's not there. And what do you do? You get rid of the guy who kind of lost your

star goalie and you get a guy who demonstrably is a good coach for goaltenders. So I think that you, you have identified that your best player, your franchise guy is fucking miserable and you bring in a guy who is going to give him all the love and care and attention that he could possibly want because he turned fucking Tim Thomas into a Vezina winner and Rask into one of the best goalies in the world. Oh, wow. You're going to give Timmy and Tuka Kloge as the reason why Well, it's not just Kloat

But I think it was always You French Canadian coach Love and son of a bitch I think it was always Four factors And I know that people always talk about it Being a Trinity up there in Boston Withers with Greg Wischinski

But it's four factors And it was this It was the system It was Chara It was Bergeron And it was the goaltender But the idea But the idea that it wasn't

The coaching system along with those three things is nonsensical because here's some break in fucking news about the game of hockey sometimes those guys leave the ice get out of here yeah it's true not the goalie unless there are certain conditions they do

but the other two guys eventually leave the ice yeah that's what they call a line change yeah right oh I thought it was like a like a change of the message from the coach like a new line no like a spoken line nope in a movie uh no it's not and it's not like in the king's locker room where you put your straw down on a different place.

Oh, there it is. There it is. The four-line challenge brought to you by the Los Angeles Kings. Coming to this year's all-star game in Los Angeles. I just really do feel like if Claude Julian was available last year, Michelle Tarion would have gotten fired last year.

The second Claude became available. It was, I don't want to say it was a no-brainer. I was surprised by how surprised everybody was. Like, it's not, like, it's surprising when you do it so quickly for sure, but like, He wasn't dead man walking. He was as close to it as possible.

And you look back in hindsight. All the moves he made are for now. Andrew Shaw, Shea Weber. And I go out and get a coach, I can win for you now. And in the future, too. It's not like clothes going to fall off the cliff coaching guys in four years. I think the surprises is that he had a chance to get rid of him before, and he was so vigilant and not doing it.

Right. But there's no one to replace him with. That's my thing. It was just all bullshit. You go back to what Mike Babcock said when Julian got fired. Nope, you make sure you got yourself somebody who's even better if you're going to fire that guy. You don't want to waste the opportunity. Don't get yourself a brashel.

Oh, yeah. You're going to replace Mike with a blasheel. Sure. That poor bastard. Wait in the wings forever. He finally gets there and Powell Dots. It's like, see ya. Got to go to a country where they don't like the gay people as much as me.

Sorry. The way it's going to work for me here in Toronto is Toronto is if, you know, I go one or two ways. I leave on my own accord. or they replace me with Scotty Bowman or I have a heart attack on the bench from watching my goaltender face 41 shots

in two periods By the way it's all happening in Toronto right now the thing that we've talked about all season long is happening fucking Marner's going to win the points title Marder's going to win the points title

Lina is going to win the goals title Austin Matthews isn't going to lead the rookies in either category and he's going to win the car well is he's going to win the points title well is he, though? Can he win the Calder if he doesn't lead in either goals or

points? Here's my thing. I think it's super duper tight, and the guy who might... No, it's not that. We're not doing the anal-lingus thing again. Let's say, he plays 54 games, he wins 32 games, he's got a

9-31 save percentage. How do you like him to Matt Murray? I would agree with you? He's not there yet. I would agree with you. But I think that there is a certain bias against Murray because he won a cup. Because he's a... But again, he's a rookie.

I agree with you. And I think you can make a case for Werensky. You can make a case for Proveroff. Wrenski's kind of faded a little bit. Yeah. But, yeah, like, I think it's those tree skaters and Murray, but I didn't realize Marner really pulled that far out. Marder

is like only a point ahead, but he's ahead. But that's a thing. I mean, good Ontario boy. Like, if Patrick Lines scores 38 goals, that impresses me more than a dude with a 930 goals against behind a really good team. But if It's like a 32 goal, 68 point season, versus like a 28 goal, 67 point season, and then there's Matt Murray. The only reason Matt Murray is not going to win it, you're right.

It's like when, was it Jimmy Howard? Should have won the rookie of the year? Oh, because he was too old. That was an age thing, though. Yeah, it was the age thing. Yeah, like I just, you're a rookie. You know, I scored 40 goals in the rookie season. I do pretty well for the Indian Pagan, of course, you know, I smelled with the collar trophy myself and the fires of Mount Doom.

but it's good to score goals, I suppose, if you like to score goals like that. I just want to go out there and win some games. The goals are nice. You know, you want to do everything you can to have a nice, smooth transition on your rookie year, much like these smooth blades, Harry's provides, when you want to shave your face back or private area, and that's all I want to do is just win some games. I reach around the goal of game for the Winnipeg Jets.

You reach around? I score about a goal of game for the Winnipeg Jets. I do pretty well for myself. I know. I try to do everything I can do at my team. And, of course, I did travel back in time and impregnate Mitch Manor's mother to create much mother. So I'm actually Miss Marner's father.

But, you know, the NH has a good place for rookies to play. You know, I have concussion, and the head not feel good. But all the time I like to think I could play better when I come back, and I do play better. It's the part two for me, much like when I had the idea for John Wick too. and I pitched the script to Kiano and he wants to do it and now I'm just trying to get the team in the playoffs. I agree to do John Wick 2 and you know I really like doing John Wick 2

and I also like being in John Wick 2 and of course I don't really know Patrick Lainey but I like being in John Wick 2 and I can't believe you haven't seen John Wick 1 or John Wick 2 I need to I told you before the show I didn't see John Wick 1 because they kill a dog in it and I know that's the pivot for the movie and I love sneakers and my dog sneakers and I felt really bad.

You know people die in Star Wars, like human beings actually die. Fucking planets get destroyed in Star Wars. Like millions of people died. Millions of millions of lives. Billions and billions of people. Millions of lives cried out or whatever the line is from that movie. Oh, you mean, oh, what's wrong? Oh, nothing.

Hundreds of millions of voices cried out in terror and suddenly silence. Yeah, yeah. There was an old parody. I don't know if you've probably never seen it, but it was like one of those things that would be on randomly, like really late at night on like one of the cable channels. It was actually called Hardware Wars.

It was a parody of Star Wars. And it was Star Wars, but all the special effects were done with household appliances, like irons and egg beaters and shit. I bet you was like the best show on TV for like six years. No, it was a 15-minute parody

that this guy did. Yeah, it was like that kind of thing. But my favorite line of that is, because you made me think about that with the Obi-Wan line, where, like, the guy who's playing Luke is like, what is it? What is it? Is it as if 100,000, 100 million voices all cried out simultaneously and were suddenly silenced? And their Obi-Wan goes, oh, no, just a little headache. And by the way, you can see John Wick 2 without having seen John Wick 1.

I'm really not surprised by that. No, there's a little continuity, but you really, I can just tell you, at the end of John week 1, he gets revenge on everybody, and then John Wick 2 starts. Pretty simple. and it's so great. Oh, it's just so many, so many bullets just blowing up skulls. Oh, it's just good fun, family entertainment for everybody. I got a good question for you.

We're going to play a little game right now. Oh, we're going to play two games on this episode. Oh, yeah, we have a quiz coming up, too. I'm going to give you, I'm going to do this right now. Okay? This is kind of playing off a game that they play on Doug Lowe's movies. I'm going to ask you to give you to give. give me. This is

Lifetime Gross courtesy of box office mojo. Like Michael Gross? The dad from family time? Yes, from tremors. It's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all Michael Gross trivia? Listen, we all know what the top three highest grossing Keanu Reeves movies are.

Do we? Yes. Oh, did all the Matrix? Yeah. Matrix Reloaded was actually number one. It actually outgrossed the Matrix and then, based on Matrix Reloaded and said, fuck that. Yeah, you get my money again. Matrix Revolutions was third. What are Keanu Reeves, this is according to box office

Mojo, I don't know if this is adjusted or what. The next three highest grossing Keanu Reeves movies are Speed. That is number five. So I'm trying to get four or five. Six. You're trying to get four and six. I'll give you a hint.

It's not either of the John's Wick. Yeah, the John Wick movie didn't make that much. But speed is number five. Can I give you a hint? No. Not yet. Not yet. All right. Too soon.

Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm going to say it's not adjusted based on these. It's the... How about the boathouse? Well, the boathouse is a movie that may exist, but not... Not on this list? But no, it's not the movie you're thinking of.

You're thinking of the lake house. The lake house. In which he, there's a magic mailbox, and him and Sandra Bullock correspond through it. Any time travel movie, you're going to get me to sit through it. That's actually... number 11, but I'll give you a hint. Number four is a romantic comedy in which he is

in both of these he's part of an ensemble, I would say. Number four is a romantic comedy and number six is a straight up comedy. But a heartfelt comedy. With Keanu Reeves. Yeah, I know. Heartfelt comedy with Keanu Reeves. Oh, parenthood? Parenthood is number six. Well done.

That is not a Keanu Reeves movie. That's unfair. He He got his first boner. That's what little dudes do No, that's actually from the Matrix Yeah, he just refers to his penis that way Throughout the whole movie

It's on the cutting room floor But trust me, I've seen it I was gonna Well, you said it's romantic comedy So it's not Quipro quo vis-a-vis Mr. Neo You got your first boner, congratulations But can you save Zion?

Many have tried That's my That's the architect, by the way Chain reaction was going to be my guess But that's not a romantic comedy Or an animation It is a bit of comedy though I am a physicist.

I'll just tell you. What is it? Something's got to give. Do you remember that movie? That was Diane Keaton, I believe, and Alec Baldwin. Oh, wait a. Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. Oh.

Yeah. And he is like, he plays a doctor in it. Yeah. Because that's, you know. These are Keanu Reeves vehicles. This is unfair. These are just movies that Keanu Reeves happen to be in for like 15 minutes. Okay, but that's a Keanu Reeves movie.

That's like, you wouldn't call it an Amanda Pete movie. fucking brahm strokers Dracula's on the list That wasn't a Keanu Reeves movie necessarily He's one of the leads though It was one of the leads and something's got to give No he's not He's barely in that movie

Just because you don't watch Nancy Meyer's movie Bullshit he plays a doctor And he keeps giving Jack Nicholson the heart stuff Because Jack Nicholson takes the Viagher for the boners I've seen that fucking movie Don't you dare talk out to me about Keanu Reeves' movie collection my friend What can I do you for

I need some boner pills My boners get me A some trouble with my heart Diane Keaton wants to become a nun and work with the young pope Where's Diane Keaton? She's at home washing her tights

All right Listen we're going to take a short break Hopefully we're going to have a secret special guest to bring you And we'll see you on the other side Joining us now on the line Is the man responsible for us being on nerdist sports And a man who knows a thing or two But Montreal

And a man who A man. Here's a man who... This is a man. A man who enthusiastically wanted to be on the podcast this week to talk about the firing of Michelle Tarian. It's Jonah Carey. Jonah Carey is on my phone. Clodes home.

Clothes home. Hi, Jonah. How happy? Are you still in the afterglow of your clode comeback? They're like, oh, what's available? I mean, I hope they're telling the truth because I believe that's true. But did you think that Clod Julian would ever come back to coach the Habs is the question. Well, listen, recycling is good for the environment, especially when you live under 8-bush.

Yes. Maybe somebody's married. Well, since you're bilingual and you're from the Montreal area, why don't you coach the team next? Why even bother going with ex-Canadian? Let's go, let's get Jonah Carey in there to get, to get Shea Weber, get the most out of Shea Weber. You forget, first of all that I'm bilingual, but I don't have a French name. If I was Claude Carey. No.

It's all in the pronunciation. Yeah, if you were, if you were Jonah. Jonah. Johna. Yeah. Kelly. But here's the, Jay, Joe, I want to ask you, is there, is there as much coach recycling in baseball as there is in hockey, or does one sport have more than the other? You had a good manager name, though.

Dallas Green. You could probably guess. They're not being unleashed the way that they shift because they're being run by the same old dude. It's more to be better. And so when you've got these trips, I'm kind of clinging to the extremely old school system, and now you're gone and raised you. You know what else in 1985 baseball has in common with hockey today? What's that?

Cocaine. Without question. Now, Jonah, are there also baseball managers that smoke as much as Michelle Tarian did? Like Jimmy Leland? Who else? Who else you got? Yeah. Who's going to be the first baseball manager to vape in a dugout?

Now, listen, Jonah, I think the big surprise here is that Mark Bergevinna actually pulled the trigger after kind of standing by his man for as long as he was. did. Did you think that he had it in him to make a coaching change this season? Or did you think it'd have to be after they crapped out in the playoffs? I want both. I want the crazier one. Well, I mean, the second one is Trump has humbled me

and everything sucks, and I want a meteor to hit, an asteroid can't hit the Earth. They just go around a big circle. I want a meteor to hit the Earth. But what's the hockey reason? What a posse there. You know, beyond that that.

Yeah, they're a team. They have young guys. They have a young guys. They have to know. But, I mean, Thomas Pekanitz, these guys are coming to the end of the road. So you go out and you get Shea Weber. Shea Weber's not going to be getting better over the next four years.

Go for it now. Push all in. Yeah. Right now he's fine. I have a question for you guys. Yeah. Nigm on the team. Everybody else gets around, at least for the most part.

They're playing better? How are they going to use them now when you're two years? Well, two things. First off, the crazy case of the Ips that Carrie Prey had is a disease centralized to Montreal called cochitis. It infected Patrick Wad

to the point where it drove him mad. In this case, Price had a mild case. But Golciniak's an interesting one because essentially the argument is that he is the only guy on that roster that has the ability to be a number one center

and you have to put him in that role between Patioretti and Radjilov and let him just be that. And there's some evidence to the idea that him, Patioretti and Gallagher were a very good line last year, but I don't think they want to break up Patchyretti and Radulov. So you put him in between those guys, you let him make mistakes, and you let him blossom, because there's no reason to be dicking around with this kid if you think he's got top-line ability. If you don't, then you've got to cut bait because he's going to be due about $6 or $7 million in short order based on his stats and his contract.

it's kind of shitter-get-off the pot with him that I would shit on Alex Colchinew. I would just take a big glowing shit. Well, here's where Greg's wrong. Clod's there now. He's got a young Cornerstone Foundation Center. So what you do is you trade him to Dallas

for like three bit parts. And you just build around those three guys for a year and then you lose them all in trades. That's how it works. You have been running a lot of years. He's a great goal. You have three or four really good boys. and you've got a couple of really good

defense, whether it's too bad, whatever, that's fine. So take imagine what you had. If they had some, like, fading Atomos type. Look at a very solid player, not why this prime, but basically fuck all behind town. They just start them or not. I mean, who else are you going? I don't think Vinnie Dan Fuse is walking through that door.

I mean, not for nothing. He's probably their third best center if they put him on the team right now. That's probably true. That's not a bad signing. Joe, I only have one more question for you on this momentous week as a Habs fan. What are you, what are you most excited about your playoff series against the Bruins or your playoff series against the Leafs? Oh, they're not going to get either.

No, right? They're going to play the first round against whoever it is in the Metro. Yeah, because Washington's going to get the shitty wild card team. This is going to be the fifth team in the Metro. Yeah, the Leafs can catch the second wild card? Nine points back. Also, you're assuming that the senators can't catch Montreal, despite being only...

Yeah. ...instantle sports, I think the way that a lot of States of the Weeks are never... How far are they going? How far are they going with Claude this year? Like Jonah just said, goalies are Lake pitchers. They're all on Coke. Wait, did you... Did you say...

Oh, okay. I misunderstood then. The Jonah Carey podcast is... Wee! The... The Jonah Carey podcast is one of our favorite podcasts. It's the other sports podcast on Nerdist. It's one of the two best sports podcasts on artists.

And also you recently had Scott Boris on. That's a nice get. The establishment. Awesome. I think it was a lot of fun. Well, congratulations on that, on all your success and all your various gigs, and mostly on Clode. Thanks, Claude. hopefully I'll see you in March.

All right, buddy. Take care. Yep, see you, buddy. Thanks to Jonah Carey, our mentor and Sage and Montreal fanboy for joining us. We have two rules on this show. The first is no current players. Maybe we would bend that if it was like Connor. No, he's kind of boring.

I don't want to talk to any 19-year-old about hockey for 40 minutes. I'll go insane. And then the other one is nothing on the phone. As you know, this is only the second time we've had somebody on the phone. The first time was geologist from Animal Collective because his entire interview was lost. Yeah, that was our fault. But this time, we wanted to have an emergency phone call with Jonah Carey to talk about the hiring of... Clody.

He's on Clode 9. Cloddy. Cloddy days are over. Two things we're talking about real quick. Unless this happens in the next like 15 minutes, we probably won't be able to talk too much about it. We have podcasts tomorrow. We have separate podcasts.

Gustav Nyquist, we've got a in-person hearing for smacking Jared Spurgeon in the face of the stick. He said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Total, total accident. Total accident. If this comes down, we'll talk about it, but as of right now I would say six. Does that make sense to you or the Inglemore?

Exactly six. Yeah. It's just, you know, you should get 10. They'll get six. And the really weird shit that happened over the weekend was the Antoine Vermet thing that went down, where he smacked a linesman on the leg with his stick after he didn't like the way the puck was dropped on a face off. I have complete sympathy in that case because, no, no, not because I'm in favor of assaulting officials or anything. Okay, Dave Weidman.

Because the puck was dropped. He wasn't ready. He was frustrated. He wasn't trying to take out the linesman's knee or his leg or anything. He was just kind of giving him like a little tap on a, like, come on one of those. Like, come on. He wasn't like, I'm going to murder you. He was just, come on.

Right. And you can't do that, of course. But I don't know. I feel like him getting more games than Newt Nyquist is going to be stupid. Randy Carlisle said after the game, to me, these are things that the league reviews. We have a view on it, and they have a view on it. Whatever they decide, we have to live with. Obviously, the puck was dropped when our player was not ready.

I looked at it and said, well, why is he dropping the puck? All of a sudden, it looked like as if he was tapping him and just telling him a blow the whistle type thing. It wasn't really a vicious or any type of malice thing. He wasn't trying to hurt anybody. It was more of a tap-to-blow-the-wistle-type thing, because usually what happens, if they do drop the puck unfairly, the linesman of the referee will blow the whistle and reset it.

And then he put his dick in a toaster. That's such a nothing quote, but it's exactly what happens. It's exactly what you're trying to say is that he, the faceoff was bullshit. He was trying to say the face off bullshit redo it. And then the only way to do that apparently is to smack the linesman on the thigh with your stick. Like Gustav Nyquist got Jen the legs, was pissed off and decided to see if he put his stick through someone's cheek. Like a murder in some movie where like the knife goes in the thing. through one cheek and out of the other.

While Vermet, I feel like when he started to do the slash felt like the lines was going to be closer. He kind of got away. He starts reaching. Oh, yeah. No, he's an advanced alien creature like an arrival. We just don't speak his language.

Who, Vermet? Yeah, where he is able to communicate through physical contact with officials. So this is what we're going to do now. You're going to reference the arrival that I've never seen. I've never seen. First of all, it's not the fuck. It's not the arrival.

It's just arrival. The arrival is the Charlie Sheen one with the aliens with the legs that bend the wrong way. And that's how you know they're aliens. You know, some movies are real subtle about it, like their eyes will glow for a second, or maybe they don't share a memory with the body they took over. In The Arrival, you could tell who the aliens are

because it's the ones whose legs bend the wrong way. Yeah. Yeah. It's easier for the viewer at home. And the arrival, that movie came out, what, like 96, 97? Look where we are with global warming. Right? That movie was ahead of its time.

That movie had a conspiracy theory for why, aliens are making the planet hotter. People never talk about that movie within the context of the two movies that come out in the same year that are on the same subject. Like Tombstone and Wyatt Earp or like Volcano and Dante's Peak. That movie came out, I believe, around the same time as Contact. Like, I believe that was sort of the B-grade response to contact. It's like, here's the story, like, based on a Carl Sagan book, and like it's got Jody fucking Foster in it, and Roberts Omecats is directing it,

and it's just this big, grandiose thing about we're not alone in the universe. How do we respond to that, said movie studio? Oh, I know. Charlie Sheen and CGI aliens that hop around like grasshoppers and it's about global warming. Speaking of global warming,

I got a hot take. Oh, please. The arrival was better than contact. Contact was the first movie I remember watching and seeing the ending and being so fucking mad at the ending that I wasted two goddamn hours

of Matthew McConaughey as a fucking priest just so she goes to your fucking dead dad at the end and the other part too at the end is like they have the whole hearing because she's wearing the fucking camera and you know the camera records nothing but gray you know snow or whatever and nobody notices that it recorded 21 hours of it they walk out of there and Angela Bassett that James Woods how come you didn't point out that there was 24

hours of it and it was like really nobody nobody else spotted this and then you find out Carl Sagan didn't write the ending because he died Yeah, yeah. That's how that happened. I'm trying to say if there are aliens out there, they don't believe in God, sir. Yeah. How y'all think that what do they do? That, all right, they don't even go to church or nothing.

I'm just a sexy priest. It's going to seduce Jody Foster over the course of this movie. I lose an alien single in 10 days. Close your eyes. Can you see it? Can you see the alien? I got an alien signal for you

signal for you mhm mhm mhm that movie I didn't like contact either fucking what's the guy's name from uh

he's in every movie for like 15 years he plays the blind guy in it who's just oh David Straitth Aaron no no no no that's the guy from that's the guy for sneakers

who was blind wait he wasn't that why I thought he was blinded that too no no it's it's he's he's the guy who plays the creepy guy and go. You know, the movie Go.

Oh, William Fisher, the guy was in the dark night in the bank robbery scene. Yeah, he's like, Clarice,

Clarice, I can hear it, or whatever fucking Foss's name is in the movie. She's been, she's Clarice in every movie I see her in,

but when her fucking dad materializes out of the fucking stars, oh, I wanted to just grab my fucking TV and throw it out the window. Dr. Lector,

tell me where the aliens are. Dr. Lector, Dr. Lector. She puts the alien in the, I can't do it.

That's not an alien. That's Jim Pembury, God damn it. I think I like about aliens. If they get older, I stay the same priest. That was a pretty good young pope audition for McConaughey in that movie. He could have been the young pope. Maybe he's the young pope in season two. Don't, oh, did you just give way spoiler? You don't know what, at the end of episode 10, you don't know what happens.

Okay. But it's not official that, like, there could be a, you know, continuation. There's no official, unofficial anything at this point. But you, see, so Loza saw the finale. I didn't see it yet, but he apparently my guess that he sprouts leathery bat wings doesn't come to fruition. He gives a 10 minute speech at the end without giving away any spoilers. That's much like Joey when he's trying to write the vows for Monica and Chandler and he's just like holding and caring and loving and sharing.

It's a speech like that for like eight minutes. But it's a good, I can't explain why it's good. It's very good. The thing about the Vermet thing that I find interesting, assuming that they accept this 10 games suspension, is that it would have been the first time that the NHLPA could test the new arbitrator. Remember they got rid of the guy

who made the Wibin ruling because the NHL's not petulant? And then... But they have a new person in. So it would have been an interesting thing to see them test the new system, but I don't think they will. I think it's pretty straightforward.

Yeah, I mean, they can live without Antoine Vermet for 10 games. Yeah, right. That's not a problem for the dogs. So you, we're going to play a game. Yeah, you have a game for me to play. Because you're always dropping these quizzes on me with your Star Wars and your fins and your... You dropped your quizzes on me? Yesterday was Valentine's Day.

Oh. And a website called Book Riot.com put out the list of the 100 best sports romance erotic novels, essentially. Oh, oh, wow. Yes. All right. A hundred of them. have like weird titles based on like a sports term from that sport and like something sexy. Like I'll describe something at random here.

Right. Um, long hard ride. Long hard ride. What the hell is Tim Hines doing here? It's definitely about rodeo. Bull riding, correct. Thank you. Well, okay.

That's the same deal, right? Yeah. Okay. But there's a bunch of hockey ones on here that, of course, have the same sort of thing. So what I'm going to do is, okay. I'm going to read you a book title. Okay. And you have to determine if it's a real book title on this list or something perverted I made up this morning.

So let's see. So as usual, we have like yummy in my tummy or only for a dummy. So this one would be, this one would be book or crook. All right, book or crook. Okay. That's what I'll call it. All right, number one, breakaway hearts. Book.

That's correct. Thank you. By Kristen McHugh. Hockey star Ben Kelly has retreated to his mountain cabin in the ski town of Cascade, B.C. to recuperating from a season-ending knee surgery and contemplate his future in the NHL. He never expects to run into the one woman who got away. Nine years may have passed, but nothing has dulled. The explosive chemistry between them.

Now he wants more than just one night. Breakaway dreams. Breakaway dreams. Break away. Break away. So that could be easily a kiddie Perry song. It could be anything. I thought it was...

All right, number two. Body check. Body check. Crook. Body check. is a book. Oh, boy. It is a real, real book.

It's number 19 on this list. Pat Fafontaine is a former NHL player who falls in love with a TSA agent during a full body search. I'm not going to read the entire plot, but basically this involves the Stanley Cup champion, New York Blades. Of course it does. Publicist Jana McNeil gets it on with somebody named Ty Gallagher. He's a captain on a mission to get his team to win the cup again. at any cost There's an ellipsis there

Alright Number three Going five hole That's definitely a crook Of course it is no way Going five hole by Jenna Jenna Smith is about a man And he plays goalie

Who likes to have sex No that's not that All right number four Taking shots I'm gonna say it's a book That is a book Yeah Taking shots

There's a little Wait is it spelled like Taking S-H-O-T because the guy's name is like Brent shots Even better Pots are so unbelievable And they keep referencing the NHL too

Ellie Fisher never thought she was good enough Let it be her job, her weight, her love life, nothing That is until she meets Shea Adler After doing a promotional shoot for the NHL team The Assassins She meets the hunky hockey player who shoots a puck Shattering her world

Oh so it is it's like based on Shea Weber. He shot the puck so hard that he knocked off those paint cover overalls and showed her the real beauty. She took off of glasses and he was like, wow, you're... He ripped their hair around. You're the Stanley Cup in my heart. Number five. And she's like, what was I just a stupid bet between you and Brian Souter?

Shea Adler. He's just like, I don't want your life. That's a difference. It's a difference for it. It's fine. Number five, filling the net. Crook. Yeah, that's a crook.

It's hard to think of middling dirty ones. Well, I could tell all the crook ones because they sound like really bad hockey blog names that were taken about 10 years ago. Filling the Net by DJ Adams is about a man who, number six. Filling Annette. That would be the name of it. Filling Annette. Like, her name is an... Oh, I should have said Annette instead of...

You would have had it, yeah. Annette Jablonsky. she would fall in love with a goalie. The only thing tender, and this goal tender, is his heart. Sticks and Stones. That's a book. Oh, I made that up. Damn it.

Because the stones are like the balls and the joke. Oh, you see, I was, okay, sticks and stones by J.L. Hadley. Connor McFleavid is a hot young rookie in the NHL. which apparently you can use in any fucking book. And he falls in love with Shannon Hurler, who is Canada's hottest rookie curler. And they fall in love sticks and stones. Not for nothing.

We could write a book on this in like an hour. You can use the NHL brand apparently in these books, and they just change it to the name. We were so stressed out. Remember how, by the way, we have a book called the 100 greatest players of all time and their stuff. We were so stressed out about whether we could use the word NHL in our title. And like everybody

apparently just like, and then they, and then they had passionate sex on the NHL logo in front of Gary Vettman and it's just like, all right. Their love was taboo. So they made love in the most taboo way. On the locker room for our logo. Sticks and Stones

by Greg Wischinski and Dave Lowe's. And he's like, hey, get off the logo. And she's like, I already did. Oh, God, this writes itself. No wonder why people do this. Like, there's a hundred of these. Like, some of the names on here, like there's one called Between Heat's.

Mm-hmm. That's a swimming one. Oh, I thought it was about dog training. Oh, there you go. That's the dog sports romance novels. You read them to your dog. And that bitch got off so quick and so hot. Rusty, put your tongue back in your mouth.

Oh, sneakers now. What's next? All right. One more shot. That's definitely a book. That's by Victoria Dineau. The plot's kind of boring. Jesse and Jordan and there's love,

and then there's someone has sky blue eyes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. Hard knocks. That's a crook. That's a book. Hard knocks by reallying. It's about hockey? It's about neurologist Helen Chang Frobisher.

What? She's on a mission to ban hockey from Portland to prevent the kind of... Oh, she's the town elders from footloose in this one. Helen what? Helen? Chang Frobisher. That is definitely somebody's like elementary school teacher who they hated.

They've now fantasy casted in a novel as the town elder trying to rid the town of hockey. The thing I don't get though is like how this is like a romance because it's about her because she's anti-concussive brain injury because she's a neurologist obviously. And it says Oregon Wolves player Adam Magnus

is desperately trying to secure his career in his retirement despite the team's dismal record. So like does he hook up with the neurologist? Have you seen all the Mighty Ducks movies? Isn't Magnus one of the Icelandic players or something like that? I wonder if that's a combination of Adam Banks and like one of the mag like I don't know I never really watched that. Magnus always makes me think of like ESPN 2 at like 530 in the morning when they'd have the world strong man conversation on Magnus for Magnus would like throw a tie. Yeah it's like they would throw like

a tree trunk and shit it was always very impressive Tracy wolf has a book on here I wonder if that's the same Tracy wolf. Hmm. Oh wait so why wait so do they so do she I wonder if she succeeds in ridding the town of hockey. I'm curious about this one because I don't know where the romance is. I guess like, see, like, I'm picturing Portland as like a junior team and she's like showing up and like, you know, wheeling like 19 year olds. What is that? Is that the sound of

blades that I hear? Somebody playing hockey? She's like John Lithgow. She's totally bald and walks around with like her AMA Bible and just quotes passages about concussions. Everybody cut laces. Everybody

Everybody skate loose. Skate loose. All right. Number nine. This one's going to be tough. All right. Keep your eye on the puck. That's a crook.

I was trying to do a play on your book. I know that you were doing that. My book, Take Your Eye Off the Puck, How to Watch Hockey, by knowing there to look, available wherever books are sold. I didn't know exactly what you're doing. I wanted you to get a plug in for your book. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Yeah, I never get to do that on this show. The last one. Hot puck, cold ice. Holy shit. I'm going to say crook. Yeah, I made that up. Oh, damn. I was really hoping that was the big switcheroo one.

Hot puck cold ice. How do you see it going? Tell me a story. What comes to mind? Okay, so hot puck cold ice. Puck Lanigan is a star player in the NHL for the barbarians. Angela Isley is a really important publicist

She's cold though, right? She's not a time for like a social life Because she's very professional Working in her profession One night they meet And they realize that She needs to loosen up And get more in touch with her social side

And Puck Lannigan realizes that it's not all about hockey all the time. Hot puck cold ice by J.L. McDougals. Seriously, we're probably giving away free pitch ideas for, like, romantic novels on this podcast that someone else is going to catch on. But you know what's funny? Like, I thought most of those are going to be, like, erotic fiction.

But there's, I guess, a certain kinship between the Lifetime movie and hockey novels. Because a lot of them were sort of the... They do feel like that. The only thing missing was that at no point in any of those books, did someone crash their car in a small snowy town and then reconnect with, like, somebody there who teaches them the true meaning of Christmas? There's no difference.

I want to talk about real quick the J-Lo show I saw. By the way, for all you Puck Soup food fans, I went to the Taco Bell can'tina in Vegas, and it is fucking awesome. You get beer? beer. You get, they have, you know how, you know, the big plastic yard drinks that you get like Fat Tuesdays? They have that with Baja Blast, but you can pick rum, Tito's.

Like, what's Baja Blast? The Mountain Dew. It's a Mountain Dew slushy, and then they put booze in it, and that's your drink. What booze goes with Mountain Dew? Tito's. Really? Yeah. I've mixed some awful shit together in my life. I've never mixed Mountain Dew with anything. Yeah, neither have I until this revelation. But you order it. The only weird thing about it.

it like so basically for if you don't know it's like a high-end taco bell where you get booze you sit upstairs in a really nice lounge area there's like TVs and shit it's a very it's very cool um the only weird part about it is that for some inexplicable reason they decided part of the novelty was going to be that you can see them make the food now i don't know about you yeah i like the mystery of not knowing what's being done to create my my taco bell meal It's not like Chipotle where you want to see the conveyor belt. Right. Like if you go to like the Pita Piton and they throw your chicken on the grill

and the chicken grills for like five minutes, that's fine. I don't want to know how the hell they get the fried chicken and the chalupa to do that. I don't want to know. Right. Some guys back there like rubbing it against his chest to get the moisture out of it. Big ups to whoever hit me on Twitter the other day to say that they did my thing, which is to start you meal with a delicious steak cassidy. I think it's a perfectly start meal.

Now I saw J-Lo. I've seen Brittany in Vegas. And now I've seen J-Lo in Vegas. and here's the difference. One sang, J-Lo, but one has songs, Brittany. Because J-Lo has songs, but she literally repeated a song

maybe like 20 minutes into the show. What do you mean? So she did, My Love Don't Cost A Thing to, like, lead off the show. And my love don't cost a thing. No, no, my love don't cost a thing. Even if you want me

to blow. That song. That's an Aerosmith cover. So she played that to start, and then she did, like, a sexy version while she, by the way, completely ripped off the Madonna part of the concert, the Blind Ambition Tour, where she masturbated it on a bed during, like, a virgin. Like, J-Load basically did that to the song. God damn it. How dare she do that? Do you have any video? Well, no videos allowed. Good, good.

So, here's what happened during the show I want to talk about real briefly. What do you do at a concert? Are you a stand-up guy or you a sit-down guy? Or does it depend on where the show is? I would say more often than on them to stand up than sit down. Depends. I mean, I feel like there's points during the course of a concert that are sit down times. I think you got to read the room. Hmm.

This woman who was two rows in front of us did not read the room. One might say that you had a bunch of people that were standing up near the stage in the pit and then no one else was standing the entire show. Because we didn't realize at the time that it skews a little older in the room. Sure. She was standing in front of what I would say would be conservatively a 75-year-old man. And she got up during the show and she's the only one, literally the only one in the entire theater. Vegas doesn't feel like a stand-up concert show situation to me.

It's not. Like arenas and stadiums are stand-ups. And so finally somebody had to basically like have that awkward conversation. Yeah. The person directly in back of her dude Had to be like Hey you know Can you tell her to sit down

Six game suspension for Nyquist by the way Oh nailed it We're still good at weird Yeah we know no reason to go back Call it But it made me think about It made me think about like How weird it is that

Why is it movie theaters are exempt From all of this shit It's exempt from the National Anthem It's exempt Like, like, you talked about in the previous podcast. Oh, my God, where are you going with this? What are you going to do to the world? No, I'm saying, like, at no point am I at a, like, Harry Potter movie?

And somebody in front of me stands up when Harry Potter comes out and is like, Harry Potter! And just starts shaking her ass in front of me and blocking the screen because Harry Potter is there. Why is there, why are movie theater is one of the only places for true decorum? I don't know, man. My John Wick Theater was pretty fucking jacked up. when he was fucking double-tapping people in Rome. But she was told to sit down, and she was drunk out of her gourd.

Of course. So she spun around, and I believe she said something to the effect of, I've waited my whole fucking life fucking see this fucking shawl shake my ass if I want to. That she threw up on the old people. No, then she eventually sat down to her credit. That's the thing is when you're super drunk,

your legs eventually tell you to sit down. And like, I think it's because she looked at, behind her and like saw you know Wilford Brimley and Estelle Getty as Sophia and we're like like oh I'm a monster

I'm a monster like but here's the thing like at the beginning of the show Jaylow's like this whole thing is playing out in front of me and literally as is playing out in front of me Jayla's on stage going to be like we're here to sing and if you want to dance get up and dance and like Jaylo you're not

helping the situation a lot of mix signals here. Yeah, a lot of mixed signals from shade of the low. So here are the rules. The rules are are concert at a stadium, concert at arena, stand all you want, movie theater, Broadway show, don't stand. Don't stand. You have that middle area of like a concert, but it's like in a theater. That's a really good point. What do you do there? Like if, if, like, you go to a show like Hamilton, right? Yeah, don't want to, your favorite. No one standing up dancing around the fucking. But like, everybody knows the songs and if they've got their favorite song, why don't you fucking stand up there and be like, Yeah, what's up?

Song about Britain? Because then somebody might get booed, and then people to New York Times might get sad if you booed someone at the fucking Hamilton show. Fucking press on my ass. Whoa, the hot political takes over here. Sorry. Sorry, people that got mad about booing Mike Pence.

So there you go. I agree. Stadium. Well, again, read the crap. Read your section. Read your section. Right, but if you're outside, you're standing up. I think you have to.

can't, like, if you're outside, if you're at, like, a, you know, you're in, like, Central Park or any sort of outdoor situation, you can't ask people to sit down. No, but that's... Arena? There's no seats. No, I mean, like, you go to a giant stadium or you're, you know, you're at an amphitheater. If you're in the upper deck at Giant Stadium for a show, you standing up, I've never seen a concert.

Wait, that's not true. I had seen one. But I was downstairs, and I stood up the whole time. I saw Dave Matthews back and somebody else there. Oh, that's a good show. Yeah. Thank you. I did upper deck at Bon Jovi and I stood, and I was in, like, the mezzanine.

for a couple of Bruce shows and I stood for, hey, you just, you're just, you're rocking out. I feel like Vegas is more of a sit down experience. It is. Like, it's, like, I went to go see Sir Tisolei. I wasn't like up fucking screaming like, oh, he caught her! Oh, he caught her! Oh, I love this fucking song!

Look the clowns up there, mime! Oh, that's a pretty sweet mime job! Oh! And then the mushrooms kicked in. To be honest, I was pretty hammered at the Stuc de Sala show. I was more focused on not peeing during the show than I was screaming. got anything. All right. Now it's time on the podcast where we dip into the Puck Soup mailbag and start asking questions that you want us to ask. Like Michael Giordano, who wants to know,

how great would it be for Michelle Tarian to replace Dan Bilesman now? Now, it's funny, we didn't really talk about that during our conversations, the idea that there is precedent for firing Michelle Tarian and then winning a Stanley Cup because you fired Michelle Tarian in the middle of, and like towards the end of your season. It was like, whatever, how many years, seven to the day or whatever it was? Yeah, close to it. I think it happened I think on the 16th.

Eight years. That year, yeah. So. I don't want to see the Amazma fired. Fucking, you're five points out of the playoffs with Dan Bosma. I don't want to see it either, but I have a feeling if they don't make the playoffs,

he might be in trouble. No, you can't give a dude fucking two years after he took over a team that finished 29th when he got there. No way. He's doing fine. Do you think Gerard Alliance's going to get hired in Vegas? Do you think it's going to be Capuano?

I'm pretty sure it's going to be Capuano. No one's hiring Jack Capuano. I think McPee is. He likes him. He's getting an interview out there. He just wants to treat him to a weekend in Vegas. See the J-Lo show. Have a yard of Superdue or whatever it's called.

Send them back home. He's not getting that job. If you give Jack Cap, yeah. Let's revisit another thing we keep talking about is how you think Vegas is going to be a playoff contender, and I don't. They hire Jack Capuano. Are they going to playoffs next year? I mean, the playoffs would be just assumed, didn't they?

The question is whether or not they win the cup next year. By the way, I've decided after visiting Vegas, And for those asking, there is Golden Knight shit around. No jerseys yet. They got good signage as far as, like, memorabilia shops and, like, where to buy the shit. But, like, you walk past that stadium, you wouldn't know there's a hockey team in town. It's weird. But here's what I decided.

This is the only thing I care about now, but this Vegas team. When you go to the shootout, right, what do you do? It's a three... How many shots you get in the shootout? What do you mean? How many players get to shoot? And the... Three on three?

No, in the shootout. It's like five, right? Three. Five, three? In the NHL? Yeah, three, right? Yeah. Okay.

Here's what I want. I want a slot machine on the Vegas bench. And every night, if they go to overtime, they take the cover off the slot machine, and they pull the handle. And that's how they determine the three shooters for the shootout. That's all I want. Based on their roster that they're going to have next year,

that's probably not going to be worse than the average three guys they pick out of the way. That's my dream now for the Vegas team. And I want to actually see more incorporations of gambling things into it. But I know that we've got to start small

because the end of the NHL is real nervous or else we'd have a really cool-ass team named like the craps or the blackjacks or whatever. So like just that's a slot machine on the bench that Jack Appuano inevitably will pull to determine who shoots in the shootout. Even better, the actual bench should be made up green felt

Where you can play blackjack while you're waiting to go on to your next shift How about that? Or maybe roulette wheel instead? Put a roulette wheel in the little middle Pierre-McGuire bench reporter area And when it's like him and like when it's like him and someone from like sports net They can just like play against each other whoever wins the most money wins the most money Put a roulette wheel in the middle of the ice Oh speaking of gimmicks you know what the Minnesota wild should do since they're playing prints when they score goals and they're

keep playing fucking Let's Go Crazy, which is a cliche song. It's fucking boring. I'm a pro-Rasbury barret guy. Me too. Arguably my favorite print song. It's peppy. It's fun. But they're never going to use it because there's a she pronoun on the sing-a-long part of it.

And men are playing sports, and you can't have that. Right. Yeah, I get it. But Raspberry Beret is a hat. And if someone on the Minnesota Wild gets a hat trick, they score their third goal. You can't always tell us sometimes with flexions and shit. But you say Eric Slaw scores a third goal in the third period of a game into an empty net. You play raspberry beret while hats are raining down.

That's a great little image. That's fun. And everybody in the arena gets a free raspberry sorbet. Yeah. Why are we wasting our time here on this podcast when we have all these ideas for sex novels, marketing for teams? Dan Stradage wants to know.

Best non-main Seinfeld character that isn't David Puddy. So is Newman a main character? Yeah, he's got to be part of the main... The main is Elaine, Jerry, Kramer, George Newman. And then, like, is he, if he says David Puddy, that means I would imagine that, like, Jackie Childs would be eligible. Tim Watley. Tim Watley would be eligible.

I like Bookman. Bookman is a great answer. I love him. When that Bookman episode comes on, like, I just, that's it. Hold on. I got to watch a scene where he's in his apartment and he's belittling him. We listen to me, funny guy. I like Bookman.

You know, it's such a cliche answer, but I mean, like, Jay Peterman's probably my choice. Banya? Banya makes me laugh. Oh, he makes me squirm. That's why he's great. Yeah. All right. I'll go with Jay Peterman.

This is Eric. Why does Dave only respond to those with a 5,000 follower count or higher on Twitter? That's not true. Is that a rule? I didn't even know that was a rule. Is that a thing this guy made up because I don't reply to him? Apparently. Hold on, let me go to this guy's Twitter account.

What was it? Uh, it was. It was, so poisoning. It was, um, where are you going? I don't know where the hell it is. Um, oh, no, no, it's Eric underscore B-O-Y-Y wants to know that. Eric underscore B. You know what though?

I have the, on my Twitter account, I have like that filter that filters out like, you know, garbage tweets, whatever the filter does. And like, it filters out people I follow sometimes. So sometimes I don't even see replies to me. Like somebody, it'll be like someone in my, like I was yesterday, I was going back and forth with Brian C. Grubb, and he replied to me, and I saw it my regular timeline, and I went over my notifications, and it didn't show up there.

So sometimes I don't even see their replies. People are. Tyson Thorpe wants to know, have you guys ever seen a giant cluster like the Eastern Conference this year? Are teams going to sell or not? Well, teams are going to see that the great equalizer this year, as far as a trade deadline, is the expansion draft, where I think even though it is a situation where literally ever, Everybody in the East is still alive.

Devils aren't alive. The devils are five points out of the wild card. They're very much alive. That's like nine points in real stats. And they are a minus 28 goal differential. And they fucking looked, they didn't look great against the fucking abs, by the way. Like, the abs are a train wreck team. Oh, they're bad.

But they're not going to make it. No, I think the great equalizers is the expansion draft. And I think that's why ultimately, like, you know, we're going to see a lot of action at the deadline. is because the expansion draft, even if all these teams are, like, not in selling mode. And the thing is, like, these guys all know what the deal is. Like, even though the standings will tell you, like, the sabres are five points out, like, they'll totally deal Kulikov if they get a deal or something like that. They're not going to sit under their hands because they might have a chance to make the playoffs.

Yeah, it's going to be a bunch of C level. It's basically going to be, like, all the celebrities that went to the R&C. Like, that's going to be the version of the trade deadline. Yeah. Wow, Dmitra Kulikov. Whoa. Scott Bayo goes to the... Yeah, exactly.

Speaking of the a odds, John Mitchell is going to be a good pickup for somebody. That guy can play still. I like him as like a little cheeky depth forward that can do a little bit on offense. Ryan Coley wants to know who's the best bond. Pierce Brosnan. Next question.

Here's where I'll agree with you. Because the answer is Connery, but here's where I will agree with you. I think Pierce Brosnan gets, doesn't get enough credit for his versatility and I'll tell you what I mean like he was different in golden eye than he was in

like tomorrow never dies then he was in the world's not enough then he wasn't die another day in the beginning of die another day he's kind of a badass like when he shows up at the hotel stripped of all his shit and he like he's

kind of like he kills that guy in the fucking samurai in the beginning of that movie and then it goes off the rails where he's like fencing with Madonna and shit and being chased by a giant laser on a fucking ice car. Pierce Brosnan was hamstring by bad scripts where he had a bunch of like hokey, like corny puns. He had to do like every fourth line.

Where I will agree with you is that if you're making the argument that the best bond is whatever bond could play the role in any variety of different movies. Like if you put Pierce Brosnan in Goldfinger, he would have been great. Right. I think there's something to what you've said here. You've talked yourself into me. I like that. That's great. No, but the best is still Connery, because he's just, he's established the entire mythos.

I mean, it's like. Pierce Brosnan. Everyone else is doing a cover, cover album. Pierce Brosnan established the video game Golden Eye. Therefore, he's the best bond. Okay. Next question. That makes a very good point.

Sean Conner, was walking around in a four-player shoot him up game? Two more. Money-Penny. This is Trump. Our good friend, Marissa, Brotherton, wants to know, would Ruby have married you at the Vegas Taco Bell Cantina? Oh yeah, that was a thing. You can get married at the Taco Bell, right? Did you refresh your vows while you had a naked chalupa with each other?

This is from Ruby today in tweeting me that very story about getting married at Taco Bell. Shame this wasn't around a year ago, I could have convinced you to elope. So to answer your question, yes, Ruby would have married me at the Vegas Taco Bell Cantina. And Sean Leahy would have rolled in there as we were all finishing up on meals. I don't think we ever discussed the fact that Sean Leahy is a little late to the wedding. He fucking watched it through the window.

You watched it starting on the window because he was late on the train. Thomas Cook wants to know what's the most obscure or over-the-top thing you've seen a mascot do live at a game? Well, that's obvious. It was when

the devil's mascot who was a guy dressed as a giant puck would reach over women's shoulders and grab their breasts, thus resulting in a lawsuit that made the devils actually change their mascot. I don't even remember the puck guy. Oh, puck man, yeah.

Look it up. That's true. I don't really have a good answer to that. I also love the popcorn bit that Bailey does at the LA Kings games where they had the plant in the audience who's a fan of the other team and he dumps an entire like concession-sized bag of popcorn on them. I know what it is.

The blue jackets have that bug, right? They have, like, a bug that's their logo that walks around, or their mascot with, like, the big greener red eyes. Yeah. Like, he does a thing in between periods where he actually eats shit off the floor because bugs eat shit. I thought that was a pretty clever, clever, you know, making it real for the fans. That's totally true.

Go look it up. You think I'm making a joke here about a fly eating crap. That's a real thing that Buzzy, I believe, is his name. Buzzy the Blue Jacket eats crowsy. crap between periods. It was amazing when they had Boomer the Cannon because they would have this one mascot eating shit off the ground and then the other one just like a giant boner. It was the biggest blues. I was a member of the fourth, the fifth line then. It was a huge bluejackets fan. Just a big old dick walking around the arena. Casey J wants some advice.

What's the etiquette of a hat trick if you're sitting behind the net where you cannot reach the ice from your seats? So Casey wants to know if you're behind the net, then you have the mosquito netting there. Obviously, if you threw your hat on the ice, it would bounce back. Can't get it over there either. It's too high. It's a pretty easy one in my eyes. What is it? Well, if I'm sitting behind the net, I'm going to throw my hat to my right or to my left, and then my hope is that the person that it hits is either clear of the netting or they will then throw it. Pass it down. Pass it down. That's right. Yeah, that's the way to do it. And that's because I'm Catholic, or at least you see me. And I know about passing the hat around.

at church and assume that everyone will be on the same page because we are of course a Christian nation Jesus Christ that answer really meanded into some dark territory there all of a sudden oh that's not true ritual sacrifice and Christmas is under attack yeah let's put the mask back in Christmas Jared wants to know I thought of a good Christmas Christmas protest joke the other day I don't want to share it because I might use it in something else but one day one day I'll share it on here Like the War on Christmas, all those people that get mad about that. Yeah. I'll tell you, I'll tell you something when we're done here.

It's good. Can I tell you, I'm not going to tell you within what context I would want to do this, but I often have thought about putting in my car a giant sign that simply says, either this guy's wrong with an arrow pointing or fuck this guy with an arrow pointing. And if I see a protest just getting out of the car and standing next to them. And then they're going to be, like, so mad, but at the same time, what are they going to do? I'm just going to stand there in silence. I don't have to talk to them.

It's always one of my dreams. But, like, I would either, I would have to be unemployed for a long time or mentally deranged, I think, would be the other thing, too. So you're saying, like, within the next year, you can see yourself. Yeah, just unemployed for a long time. Finally, by the way, no appeal for Vermont. Oh, I love what news is always breaking during the show. show. How many of Dave, this is from Chris

Sergison, how many of Lozo's writer friends used him as a template for the cynical snorkey buddy in his spec script or novel? You have many writer, buddy? Is there like, oh, no, no, that's not you. That's, uh, his name is, uh, Gabe. I don't know. This guy would probably have to ask his mom because

I don't know. Oh, my God. I don't know if we're friends at this point. Maybe we're more than friends. Jared wants to know, how much do you hate hockey tribalism forcing fans to disclose fandom to justify takes? Hey, Ducks fan here. So what he's saying basically is how much do you hate

the idea that you have to state your loyalties in order to have a take? Do you have to do that? Is that what fans have to do? I do. That does drive me nuts. It drives me nuts when I remember searching for this on Twitter because I kept seeing these tweets.

It was when Adrian Peterson beat the crap out of his fucking kid with a stick. Yeah. Like a big old piece of fucking tree branch that he grabbed. Right. And there were people who were tweeting things like, hey, I'm a Vikings fan, but that's wrong. Right. Yeah. You do that all the time with stuff like that.

I think it might be what he's talking about. Right. Look, I'm a Patriots fan, but I'm not in favor of Aaron Hernandez murdering somebody. Right. You don't have to establish that before you have that kind of opinion. You can just have that opinion as a human being. Yeah. You're in your free time.

You're a fan of the... Look, I'm a Cowboys fan, but if Ezekiel, beat the crap out of a woman, that's bad. Like, no, no, it's bad no matter who you're a fan of. You don't have to establish some sort of qualifier before opinions. Yeah, I prefer people take ownership of how morally superior their team is. Yeah, they do that all the time. Like, I would much prefer if people were like, listen, as a Buffalo Sabres fan, I know that

Evander Cain's a piece of shit, because we are God's chosen team. We are the best team. We're the best team. So we can identify that better than you. Right, exactly. As a Blackhawks fan and Patrick Kane. Like, oh, yeah, that annoys the crap out of me. What, you think you're better than me?

Yeah, why? Buffalo Sabres fan. We've got out of chosen team. I mean, what are you? Are you even, do you even hockey bro? They do that with good stuff too, where, like, who recently they, did they announce was going to have their number retired soon? Lettman.

Dallas, yeah, Gary Lettman. Retiring Yuri Lettinen's number. And, like, some Canadians fan would be like, as a Habs fan, I can really appreciate you guys from retiring. Like, fuck off. Oh, that's true. That's true. That happens a lot. You know, as a devil's fan, I can really sympathize with how boring and repetitive this movie is.

As a human being, I can really sympathize with how unbelievably terrible your take is when you put your favorite team before your take. As a Los Angeles Kings fan, I literally just got here and don't know what's going on, but I assume that the playoffs are on. As a two-year-old, I just became aware of how cognitive functions work. I appreciate how Blackhawks fans only showed up to the team six years ago. Like, yeah. As a Vancouver Canucks fan, I can really relate to the fact that I've hung around way too long here past my welcome. So I'll just stay for a little bit longer, if you don't mind. You know, as a Rangers fan, I can really appreciate how Supernatural is in its 12th season.

And isn't really that good, even though it's been around for a really long time, it seems to have some fans. You know, as a Detroit Red Wings fan, I appreciate the fact you acknowledge that I've come here every day for the last seven years to buy the paper in a bagel. But I'm not going to come here anymore now. The streak is broken. As a coyotes fan, I can really appreciate what it's like to go to a movie in the eighth week of its release and be the only person in there watching. it. So I get that. I really, I really get over this, this, this, this, this, this, this, John Wick 2 theater in mid-May is coming from. Good times.

Yeah. Indeed. All right. Sports fans. That's the show for this week. Thanks to Jonah Carey for joining us in an emergency situation to talk about this breaking Montreal Canadiens news. Anytime we have breaking news about Montreal, you can guarantee you that there be a poorly conceived interview with Jonah Carey involving a speakerphone and a microphone. I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports You can find me on Twitter At Wichinsky

W-Y-S-H-Y-N-S-K-I You can read my book Take your eye off the puck Which is available wherever books are sold You can read our book Along With Down Goes Brown Which is called The 100 Greatest Players

It's called something with 100 in it 100 greatest players And other stuff You can find it It's an e-book Wherever E-books are sold Also if you hear this early on Thursday

we do have an AMA on Reddit, me and Lozo and Down Goes Pro. Oh, yeah. I tried to sign it up for, I don't have a Reddit account. So I'm like, sign up Dave Lozo, Taken.

I think Lozo taken. Really? Lozo 69. Everything's fucking taken. But I'm going to do that tonight so I can do it tomorrow in the morning. All right. Well, hopefully, I think we're doing one.

I'll have a little check with that dude. Anyways. Somebody replied to me on Twitter about it, so I'm assuming people know at this point. Thanks for listening. Thanks for support to the podcast. If you want to support the podcast further, leave a review on iTunes.

That's always a good thing and tell a friend about the podcast. We appreciate all the support, including your very sweet understanding that the more successful this podcast gets mayhaps our parent company would want to put advertising on it. So Lozo and I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for listening to the show and would ask you to not only frequent the. advertisers that we have on this podcast, but also not be, um, what's the, insufferable pricks about the fact that we have a couple ads on the show now. Like, what did that guy expect us to reply back? It's the thing, people, oh, you only reply to people with 5,000, 5,000 followers or more. Pretty sure that guy had like six.

I engaged with him when he said, oh, I got to go all the way to minute 437 to get past ads. Oh, boy, you. Oh, my God. Oh, and by the way, also finally, thank you to the, producers or set designers or whatever of dear Evan Hansen the hit Broadway musical as apparently there is a tweet promoting Puck Soup that is featured in the pre-show according to James McBee we're all trying to figure out what that means still still not really

entirely positive I'm just hey the way I see it like tweet pre-show Broadway play we're on Broadway I have no I have no context of the way I see it is that we are both officially on Broadway. We are now Tony eligible. We are ready to win the EGOT. So yeah, so we're we've got the Tony. We won, that's right. Not only we on Broadway, we just won the Tony for best tweet featured before a show. Right. And now we're on our way. So how do we get, how do we get this? So we have to get the podcast mentioned in a movie. Oh, that's easy. I mean like I'll I'm going to win an Oscar for my performance as insufferable blogger in the John Scott story.

By the way, I like how the guy thinks I have friends who sit around and write spec scripts all day. He thinks you're in Hollywood, apparently. I know. It's exciting. My best friends work in marketing. Sell piss is what I like to say. My one friend does. He works for a background check place, so we just say he sells piss.

That's his job. My other friends are a stay-at-home dad. And hockey writers. Like, there's no... I don't know anybody famous. Oh, we should be... Goon 3 we're going to get into. That's going to be our...

When Jay makes Goon 3, he's in a reference to our podcast. He will, definitely. Unless he did it in 2. Goon 3. Goon 3. All right. That's me, and here's Lozo to take you home. Yeah, I got nothing.

See you. Thanks for listening. Perfect. I mean, that's really, in a nutshell, everything you'd ever want. Did I get everything on my list here? I'm in a nutshell. This says plastic... Plaster...

No. I don't know. All right. We love you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye.