Puck Soup - Kathryn Tappen and Remembering Gordie Howe

Episode Date: June 10, 2016

Greg and Dave discuss the Stanley Cup Final, including why Sidney Crosby shouldn't be the playoff MVP; the terrible music at the NHL Awards; Dave's weird pizza-filled Alex Ovechkin dream; which modern players should get the "Ray Bourque" treatment; Greg talks with NBC Sports and NHL Network anchor Kathryn Tappen about hockey, life and her relationship with Mike Milbury; and a special last segment on the death of hockey legend Gordie Howe.

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Oh, my. And what did we use to grab those tickets? We used the seat geek. I would say you would grab seat geek. What did you grab seat geek, Pierre? We used the Seat Geek app. We downloaded it. And here's what you need to do.

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The thing about it is that, like, it was super easy to find the tickets, and it was super easy to get tickets where we wanted them, which was down in the boxes. And it was also great because Seekek is the reason I was able to eat the Cracker Jack mac and cheese hot dog available at Pirates games. God. Use Seekkeek, but don't do it. do that. No, do that definitely. You know, the Cracker Jack added texture. I didn't really think the mac and cheese did all that much for it, especially because it was of a craft variety. But I definitely

enjoyed the pickled jalapinos on top of the hot dog that was topped by not only Cracker Jack Dave Lozo, but a delicious caramel sauce. You're abusing Sea Geek. Don't do that if you get Sea Keek. Use Seek, but get normal food. Don't be a weirdo at the games. So you're saying use Sea Geek for the forces of good. For the forces of good, don't do this, you know, galactic empire eating thing that you got going on. That's disgusting. It was delicious in its own way. And any meal that you have that feels like you're competing on some sort of travel channel show where someone's challenging you to finish it and may or may not give you a t-shirt afterwards, I think that's great arena grub. But the only way you're going to be able to get great arena grub if you're locked out of the game is by getting seek ink so download the app now

and enter the promo code soup today and enjoy the show now entering nerdist dot com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons we've got sportly commentary to what if you commute but we also cover movies TV shows it's and tunes it's your weekly of hockey and nonsense I'm Greg Wichenski of Yahoo SportsPuck Daddy blog. I'm Dave Lozo of Vice Sports and the comeback and uprocks and Greg. You're in puck soup.

I'm in Pittsburgh still because it's the Stanley Cup final. And you know what happened last night? Martin Jones made all of the same. in the sports game and now there's a game six and I just want to I just want to drink a bottle of Drano and face plant onto a glass table like one of the heathers. I want this series to be over. I don't know. Now, you know what? I'm lamenting it, Dave, but like now I'm kind of torn because as I'm tired of being on the road and I miss, you know, sneakers and stuff. Like at the same time,

I feel like now the series actually has a pulse. I feel like I'm getting. my money's worth finally. So I'm a little bit torn right now about, you know, there being a game sex. Well, I'm in Hoboken and I am feeling pretty refreshed. I haven't really been drinking every day for two weeks, like maybe somebody else on the podcast. So I feel fantastic. I don't have to fly anywhere. I'm just sitting around right now in my underwear talking into my computer about a hockey game. This is fantastic. I don't know why anybody's really upset about this series not being over, but I don't really feel like it's a series until it gets to game seven because the plan for beating the penguins can't be, well, we'll get out shot 45 to 22 in the next three games,

and we'll just have Martin Jones make 43 saves, and then we'll win. So if Pittsburgh basically plays the same game, they played in game five, and they play that same game in game six, I feel like you and sneakers, unlike me in sneakers, will be reunited at some point. very, very soon after game six. I've had so much bad food so late in the evening. Last night I was eating onion rings and like sliders

and what it's appeared to be just giant fried balls of cheese at like 2.30 in the morning at the hospitality for the writers and the staff for the NHL and then drinking so much beer. It actually feels like sometimes like I have a

total recall quato trying to trying to trying to emerge from my stomach. Like there's a quado there. He just, I don't know how to get him out yet, but he's going to pop out and start leading a revolution somehow. You know,

he probably would be a Bernie bro now I think about it. But yeah, it's not a good feeling at all. I remember last, like last year after the Stanley Cup final. So like, for those of you listening that don't understand how unbelievably true the stereotype is about hockey writers,

we just fill our faces with free, fatty garbage, all playoffs. long pretty much. And by the end of the playoffs last year, like I tried to run during the Chicago Tampa series, but side story, I only packed one sneaker for the trip, so I had to go buy new sneakers. And so I bought like cheap $19 target sneakers because I didn't want to pay like 80 bucks for new sneakers that I only was going to wear for two weeks. So I buy these crappy sneakers. And like I did some running in Tampa. And then the afternoon to game six in Chicago, the last day of the

year when I'm already like gaining too much weight and everything. I go for my run and my calf just explodes inside my leg and I'm like, oh, I'm like, uh-oh, this is, this is bad and it was really bad. So for like two months, I destroy my body with like 2 a.m. pizza and like 2 a.m., you know, like sliders and all the stuff they have in hospitality for the media.

And like I put on so much weight by the end of like July that I was like, I need to kind of maybe have a lifestyle change here because this is not good for my body. I felt like Arnold Schwarzenegger in junior when he gets pregnant. And I was just like slowly but surely from like May until like the end of July. Like I was so close to giving birth to a child by like August 1st that I needed to basically give myself a food abortion. Is that what I'm looking for? Yeah. Yes.

Like a midterm. I have like a giant like turkey basically inside my stomach. I just went to a guy and I had it taken care of. So I understand what you're coming from, especially with like airport food too. When you're stuck in an airplane all the way over, it's just, we're such garbage people, aren't we? I think at that point, if we had stood next to each other in front of a mirror shirtless, I would have been like, it's like looking into a mirror. We'll just keep doing Schwarzenegger movies. And trust me, Kelly Preston was not looking to make love to me at any point during those three months.

No, sir. That's right, even though you're straight, unlike her current Paramour. Yeah, it's terrible. The whole thing's terrible. I feel terrifically unhealthy. But it's funny because it's not as if the teams, like you said, don't have a hand in this. In Pittsburgh at their media lounge, whatever, they've got like little pretzel bites and just a giant bowl of melted cheese, which is, I mean, great. But, like, Like, what, you know, whatever. And in San Jose, it was interesting because, like, the first time we went there for game three, they didn't really have any snacks in the media area. And I felt like there was a certain revolt happening. I think the media was grumbling and growling about it.

And so the next time for game four, you go there. And there's just giant, like, buckets of, like, lays potato chips and Doritos. and it reminded me of like, you know, somebody on Halloween whose house gets egged because they tried to give out like bags of pennies. And then the next year they come back with like fucking full-sized butterfingers. Like they're the now that the try hard house. I'm surprised like as like a revolt, not like a revolt, but as like a response to the revolt, like the sharks then just put out like a big vat of like melted butter and be like here,

just eat it you pieces of shit. Just shove this in your faces, you winy bastards who want to, stuff while you're covering the Stanley Cup final. Here's a big tub of, I can't believe it is butter. Just put your face in it and eat it, you gross pigs. And also we have some vegetables, too, in case anybody wants to eat right. Look, you giant collection of Canadians slightly smaller than Jabba the Huts.

Just dunk your faces in this vat of melted butter. You goddamn pieces of shit that have ripped Joe Thornton for the past 10 years want free food from this organization. How fucking dare you here? Here's a big glass of lard for you to drink down, you ungrateful whiny pricks. Yeah. All your entire existence is tearing down the dreams of others. Here, stick this IV of shortening in your arm, you fat fucks. Oh, what's that?

I'm sorry, do you think Patrick Marlowe can't have done in the playoffs? Here, here's a big free vat of chocolate for you to swim around. You Canadian Augustus Glew son of the bitch. Hope you drown at it. Augustus, no. Oh, God. And also here's the game notes. I kind of wanted the sharks to lose, obviously,

because I was ready to see the cup in the house. The Penguins fans were all excited about it, and you can't help it get caught up in that. But at the same time, I think it's the reason the penguins lost as they were sort of in a little plan the parade mentality at the start of that game. But I also wanted the sharks to win because I knew somewhere in that building, in console energy center last night, somewhere in that building was an asshole who spent $8,000 on a single ticket to maybe perhaps see the cup maybe.

In 2003, when I was like still a lover of the New Jersey Devils, me and my buddy paid two. 280 bucks to sit like 10 rows back or 10 rows from the top in the upper bowl for game seven of devil's ducks and like I like I was like man this is embarrassing I can't believe I'm like I'm like you know I'm out of college for like basically like two years at that point I have I barely have like any money and I'm to spend like 300 bucks on possibly the worst moment of my life and then I'm like seeing people like tweet screenshots from like seek geek possibly we'll say it was see geek I think it was definitely seekeek like $8,000 $2,000, like, unsold tickets. Like, and somebody, I think it was Craig Custin's on Twitter, was talking about his cab driver, was like him and his dad have tickets. And he was asking Craig if he should sell his one ticket for $6,000. Like, if I was Craig, I would have reached through that little opening from the back of the cap to the front of the cab and strangle the guy until he told me he was going to sell

a ticket. Like, you idiot. It's a stupid hockey game. Sell it and watch it out of that. If you have a better view of the game on TV, you morons, sell it. You get your 6K. Yeah, that's why I give much respect to the people. people who showed up outside of console at 9 in the morning with their soccer mom lawn chairs

to go watch the game on that big screen. Because, like, honestly, like, that's going to be an amazing experience. You're going to be amongst, like, 10,000 fans outside the arena watching this game here in the audio, chanting and cheering, whatever. And A, you get a day off of work because it's Pittsburgh. And all you got to do is come in and be like, hey, boss, Sid and Jito got a chance to win the cup tonight. And it's like, okay, Hon, you can go to the game, Yins. And then they're like, you could just go to the game at like nine in the morning and just sit there in a lawn chair.

But the other thing, too, is that, like, the communal experience of, of the people outside the arena is going to be great. It's going to be like New Year's Eve. You know, you're not going to be able to be in the arena and actually see the cup, but who gives a shit? Like, just go find some whatever Yinser Bar, Matt Cullen's taking it to afterwards, and they'll go touch it there. Well, it's like New Year's Eve if you win, but if you lose, it's like Lord of the Flies. And like I feel like if it's going to be Lord of the Flies, you already want to be outside on your little like tailgating chair anyway because this way you can organize like what car you're going to flip, you know, what couch you're going to. Oh, I was a little worried about that last night. Yeah, like not for nothing.

When they had to like bring in like the second viewing screen, I'm thinking to myself like, okay, they didn't plan for this. So they must have not planned for how many people are there. I don't know which outcome is better. Are we going to have the Vancouver Canucks riot if they lose? Are we going to have the Montreal Canadiens ride if they win? What's Pittsburgh's riot style? Let's find out. Apparently there was no real problems last night, right?

What is Pittsburgh's Ryan Stiles? It's a great question. I don't know. Ryan Stas. Who is San Jose's Colin mockery? Don't you dare make a Colin mockery of my statement? but I'm bum. Yes.

So instead, there were no riots, there are no burning cars or burning couches, although someone did lug a couch down to the viewing party. That's pretty amazing. I was pretty amazing. I'm like, let's see, let's see, let's see which hockey writer got put in prison overnight. And, like, it was so funny. Like, you know how, like, on Twitter there's, like, the while you're away thing that never tells you anything good? Yeah. All three of them were pictures from, like, three different hockey writers of the couch.

Like, oh, God. Like, after four hours of, like, pregame photos of, like, the crowd, it was, like, one hour of, like, post-game. like garbage photos outside. Like just go back to your hotel and go to sleep guys. Yeah, and that's the thing too. It's like, you know, afterwards, now instead of like a riot, you just had piles of garbage, just piles of garbage. Like, like when you go to like an outdoor concert, like a Lollapalooza or whatever the fuck,

and no one ever, you know, gets rid of the trash, it just becomes like a giant trash heap, a giant fragal rock trash heap that's sentient and trying to talk to you. That's what... Since when are fragles, like, not clean people? I feel like fragles, unless we're talking about how they treat the dozers, which... There was actually a trash heap on the show that was, like, sentient and used to give them advice and shit. Like, their Yoda was a trash heap. I'm not saying the fragels were definitely sloppy.

The dozers were not. They were efficient as shit. And, you know, the deusers were always amazing to me because, like, I thought to myself, what if I lived in a world where all of the building materials were really... sugar-based and edible? Like, what would I do? What would society be? Would we even have cities?

Would we be in a constant cycle of rebuilding? If you could walk past the John Hancock building and just take a fucking bite out of it. I was wonder what the Duzer's buildings actually tasted like. I thought it was sugar. You think it was just pure sugar? Because I always pictured it being like minty fresh. Oh, that's interesting. Like a peppermint sort of quality to the building.

Oh, so it's like like candy canes? Yes, exactly. Like, I think if it was just like a straight sugar, like you were just pouring. Again, when the San Jose sharks put out their food for the whiny media people, they just put out like a big bowl of sugar and it said, here, just shud it in your face. You miserable cretance. You fratles to my do-ters out of here. And here.

I'm working two months straight here every day. You're coming up here begging me for frigging me for frigging cats. Get lost. Here, here's a bowl of pretzel salt and a straw. Enjoy. By the way, seriously, though, you know the sharks are going to win game six and you're going to have to spend another two days off before a game six. They're not going to win game six.

Matt Murray, five and no, sub-goals against average, sub-two goals against average in games after losses. And also, based on my conversation with him last night, completely delusional about his, his performances and I think that helps him like after game three basically said I don't know I thought I played really really well and then like after last night like I talked to him and I'm kind of like you know when you went back into the locker room after the first period like what were you thinking he's like I thought I played great might I might have might I might like you know

done something a little bit different on the burns goal but overall I thought I played really really well and I'm like you know on the one hand this is really hubristic and really you know overconfident and almost borderline cocky. But on the other hand, like, the proofs in the pudding. Like, if your process is you've got to be that obtuse and you have to be that willfully ignorant of your own failings, but the results are that you come back and do what he does in these games, like, by all means, you know? But what did he say he was doing on the first goal?

Because, like, usually I can, like, watch a play and figure out what the goal he's thinking. Like, I have no, it looked like he just, like, fell or something. Like, what was this brushing out for how that puck got passed? No. No, it was. What he said was, because it's never Matt Murray's fault. Oh. He said that...

He said that... See, Henry McQuest became that goalie in the last two years. Like, at 21, he wasn't that goalie. Good for Matt Murray. He said that his team might have been on their heels a little bit in the first period. But he also said that when Brent Burns fired the shot, because of the electricity in the arena, like all the fans being so excited about babysitting the cup, the intensity. created this sort of chemical reaction

where an intense heat developed around his crease and the bars the posts on his goal actually bent like just slightly to allow the puck to sneak in it was not Matt Murray's fault

it couldn't possibly be I can't believe Matt Murray is one of those it's not my fault goalies already that's unbelievable yeah I thought he was going to be more like you know what didn't have the strongest first but you know what We're going to come back and do the job in game six. But no, he's very much not that.

He's very much just like, you know what? I thought I played great. I don't know what you guys are talking about. And like, you can't really, like, when you give up two goals in like a minute and a half or whatever it was, you can't like fall back on the whole like, well, they got off to a really good start and they were really, they were really, like, no, like nothing happened yet. There's two shots on that and they both went in or three shots, whatever it was.

Like you can't just be like, well, they were really hemenous in the zone and blah, blah, like no it was it was just a turnaround shot that you were guessing pass on yeah i don't know what you're the third the third goal the third goal was like kind of bad like he was it was like a you know he said he said carlson flubbed it that's what's his his thing i thought wait is is cross him is crossin what he named his catching glove because you know the more the more we talk about the more i think the best goalie of all time could have maybe been the iraqi information minister during the war, which always go on to be like, there are no infidels in Baghdad.

That guy. We're totally winning the war. Like the most, the most wilfully ignorant guy. The American forces got up to a really good start. We're not going to deny that. But, you know, I thought, I thought once the mission was accomplished, I kind of thought we we came out strong and, you know, we'll be, we'll be ready for the next war, though, for sure. Well, we're definitely going to come out. We're to come out and have a good first 10 minutes of the war.

Of the war, yes. You know, you know, Dave, I think that's really offensive. Like, you shouldn't treat wars like wars. You know, these are not soldiers. These are soldiers. Can you imagine? Can you imagine that? I'll never forget taking a journalism class, my freshman year of college.

and it was it was it was it was like a that day's lesson was about like the golf war like the 92 golf war and they're and they showed a clip from like CBS where it was like um I forget exactly what it was but it was basically like like American kills and it was like you know Iraqi kills whatever it was like a sports thing yeah that that was the thing like they showed the clip and the guy the teacher was like okay so why is this not right and everyone everyone in the room was like looking around and I'm like because it was like a football score, and he was like, yes. They were like sports.

And I'm sitting there, I'm like, like, like, 20 years later, I'm like, now we do the opposite. We treat sports like war? What's going on in this world, man? Doc, the Allied forces are coming, and if they're going to keep coming, they're going to come. It's like, oh, Doc, Eddie, this guy got his feet wet and D-Day literally back in 19. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're at the game, so you didn't even hear it. Like at the end of the game, Crosby and Vlasic got into it at the front of the net with like four seconds to go.

The game was over just like a couple slashes and whatever, cross checks. And Pierre goes, oh, Doc and Eddie, this goes back to when they played against each other in junior because Blasick was at Ramoski and Crosby was at whatever. And I'm like, wait, is he doing a parody of himself now? He can't be. I actually had, because like somebody texted me right after that. They were like, fucking Pierre. And I was like, wait, what? did I miss and I rewound it and I listened to it again and I'm like he's blaming a frustrated

Sidney Crosby at the end of a Stanley Cup final game going at it with Flassick who's just as probably annoyed about everything as he is on hockey they played 12 years ago when they were 17 years old and he's serious about it and by the record we all know that Crosby was at Ramoski by the way that's a very very famous fact you can't get facts like that wrong on this podcast. He was in Crosby was at Ramoski? Yeah I thought he was wasn't he? Oh God, I just don't just don't get it. I assume all the good players were at London.

That's always, that's... No, Crosby was never at London. He was definitely at Ramoski, I think. Here's the bottom line about Murray. He played himself out of the consmite last night. Like, I was put... Of course, I'm putting this kid over, like, the whole 24 hours leading up to the game about like, you know what, based on the numbers, based on all that stuff, context,

he's a rookie saving their bacon. They're not here without him. Like, I thought he should win the consmite, but like, obviously he can't now. I mean, he's had two... so-so games in the most important round, and that's kind of a death knell. But here's the big debate that's happening right now, which is that if the Penguins win the Cup, if the Sharks win the Cup, I'm pretty sure it'll be Jones. Based on the game last night, his overall play, Couture will probably lead, maybe lead

the playoffs and points. There's a chance if he does some more stuff in the final that he could win if they win in seven. But I'm pretty sure if they win in seven, it's going to be on the back of Martin Jones. But like on the penguin's side, there's a clear line drawing. drawn. And there's 18 voters. So keep that in mind. There's like a few from Pittsburgh, a few from San Jose, and then a few national ones. And there's a line drawn. It is on the one side of the line, it's the Phil Kessel is the single greatest story of the playoffs. And he should be

honored for doing what he's done. And overall, you know, been one of their top three forwards and has played great. And it's going to lead them in points and goals. And on the other side of the line is, we must anoint the Prince Crosby with his crown and restore him to his proper place at the top of the throne of the National Hockey League, the great leader. It's, it's, it's, and again, he had no points last night. He was a minus two.

He's, he's not, so, so, all right, before last night, I was between Murray and Kessel for sure. I could go either way, but yeah, Murray at this point, I don't know how you can give him to Matt Murray. but every argument for Crosby is it flies in the face of giving it to anybody else. Like, okay, so nobody wanted to give it to Matt Murray before last night because he had like a 925 and you have to have a 940 to win the consmite as a goalie, blah, blah, blah. But since when can you have 17 points in 23 games and win the consmite?

Why is 925 not good enough, but 17 is? And then people say, oh, well, you know, he's lugging the best players around. He's got to go against the top competition all the time, and that's blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, two years ago when Andre Copatar was just getting everything thrown at him for four rounds, when the Kings were winning game sevens and they beat the Rangers, he had more goals and more points than Justin Williams. But Justin Williams was Mr. Game Seven. Look at me. I scored goals in game seven.

My goals are magical goals because I'm a magical clutch, Justin Williams type of guy. I remember being out with like the part of the Kansmite voting team and it was just like oh game seven game seven I'm like Anj Kopatar is good in all the games he's he's he's got it Justin Williams gets gets the easiest matchups and Anj Kopatar does it why would you not give it to Kopitar Well he's basically having the Krosby postseason now with like 12 more points and Justin Williams on a third line playing right wing

Hmm who's the third line playing right wing this year who was scoring a bunch of huge goals for their team. And now all of a sudden it's not, what's the difference? Well, let's see, Justin Williams is Canadian. Ogeo Copaura is not. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. It's weird.

It's so so weird that they would do that. You went there. Okay, fine. So, okay, let's say Sydney Crosby is, oh, you know what, it's not about points. It's about him going out there and playing big minutes and eating up those minutes and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Chris LaTang is doing the same thing only with more minutes, with less talent around him.

No Trevor Daly. He's carrying Brian Dumolin around. I mean, look at that group of defensemen that exists. And LaTag is playing 30, 31 minutes a night. And his point total isn't great, but he's carrying the playoff. All right. Why is it Crosby? I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. First of all, the Penguins are here because of Crosby's sheer will. No doubt about that. All right, I'm going to hang up. I got to go. Second of all, he got hit by Joe Thornton, and he didn't punch him back, nor did he whine to the officials. Oh, my God, what is that narrative?

First of all, not for nothing. I don't, like, the Penguins had a thing for a long time where they lose their shit. Like, James Neal would go off whenever somebody touched him the wrong way, but he's in the original now. Malkin was the guy that would always lose his mind, too, whatever he got slashed by Callahan in the last round, and he went back at him with a slash. like Crosby yeah like he whines and stuff but like I don't feel like he was ever like a loose cannon on the ice to the point where like he never once ever resisted a fight now all of a sudden it's because Joe Thornt cross checked them once and but the other reason is that if you'll recall earlier in the series um con Connor Connor sherry scored a goal uh that was completely set up by Sidney Crosby because he called the play I don't know if you remember this but it's easy to have forgotten it because what happened was Sidney Crosby is actually Quicksilver and he went around the offensive zone and positioned everybody where they needed to be. So when he started

time again, Connor Shear was able to fire the puck home and win the game in overtime. It's pretty amazing. He put on his headphones, you heard, sweet dreams are made of these. And then he just like all over the offensive zone. It was amazing. It was, it wasn't timing of bottle. It wasn't Sweet Dreams. It was his favorite song, Renegades by X and Bachelors. Okay. Listen. Listen to me. Okay. Don't give me wrong. Like, that's very nice that he did that. Yeah. But what the fuck? No, listen. Legitimately, the only argument you could make, legitimately, the only argument you can make about Kessel versus Sid is that Kessel's line is, is better than

Sid's line. And you can make the argument that like Benino has made his little Kahn-Smythe case and and everything else. Like you could, you could argue that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

then the HBK line, which has been a better line over all than Sid's line. It, what do you mean by better? Like, it's not better talent-wise, like Nick Benino,

come on. I just, I think, I think, I think you could say that, that, that, I think you could say Kessel is a product of that line, right? But Sid's done a lot on his own. Like,

I can, I think, Kessel makes that line. I don't think Kessel's a product of that line. I think Kessel's why that line, for the most part anyway, is that good and that productive. Listen, the bottom line is this. Like, Sid's going to win if the penguins win. I'm sorry, I hate to say it.

Is he, though, like, he is. He is. The vibe from the writers is that Sid's going to win. But then again, Kessel keeps on picking up points. But you and I both, everybody wants the same thing. We all want to see, we all want to see Phil, lift the Kahn-Smith, and then, Now the words, F.U. Steve Simmons. And then when he gets the cup on the ice, fill it with Nathan's hot dogs,

and then put them all in his mouth, like slimer. And then we've talked about it. Like, that's what we want, and that's the stuff. And hopefully we get it. But I have a feeling that the writers are going to give it to Sid. So, okay, let's say this goes seven. But, like, oh, God, like, Sid was non-existent in the second around. Like, he was good.

Like, it's a thing. Like, what I'm saying, Crosby doesn't deserve the constant point. I'm not not saying he wasn't very good. He's been very good the whole postseason, but like, he has two points in five Stanley Cup final games. He had two points in six games against the caps. Like, Kessel round by round is six points in the first round, six points in the second round, six points in the third round. I think he has four and five games this round. Like, he's been there every single series, and I get it, man.

Like, everyone who's – I'm sure a lot of the people that have votes are part of that group. group of people that have at some point either thought you can't win with Phil Kessel or have written you can't win with Phil Kessel or or conversely have jerked off to Crosby's goal in 2010 in Vancouver yeah not for nothing man like I mean get something new for the spank bank account that was six years ago that's like that's like me like watching like you know 1999 jennett james and stuff like I need I need something I need something fresh and you know what's you know who the fresh hot thing to jerk off to now is it's Phil Kessel.

It's Phil Kessel, man. Get the Jurgens and go to town on Phil Kessel for Spine. Oh, man. I feel like furries would be into Phil Kessel. Furries. Wait, so great. So now I got a picture of Phil Kessel and like a telotubby suit. Yeah.

With somebody else and another telethy tanks. For sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm wearing a big plush head. Yeah, for sure, yeah. All right, listen, we have Catherine Tappen on the show today.

You know her from NBCSN, you know her from NHL Network. I spoke to her before game, game five here in Pittsburgh. And we talked about the thing that you wanted to talk about, which is what is her actual relationship with Mike Milbury, considering they're combative sometimes. And also the last time she gave him shit on the air, it went viral. Where he like, what was the, what was the deal? It was like she gave him the gears about,

something that he said. But oh, she goes, you actually get paid for this stuff. Right. It's what you said to him on the air. He basically, it was,

I forget exactly what he said, but basically like it was like one nothing after one. And it was like, why is it scored one nothing after one? Mike Nelberry was like, well, the one team scored a goal.

Another team. Oh, yeah. Something to that effect. And she was just like, really? Uh-huh. Yeah. And then like,

and then she's like, you actually get paid for this stuff. And then like fireworks went off in the background and Beyonce's formation started get played. Right. And then she did like two snaps. And then,

walked away and the mildberry just started like sobbing. Maybe that was in my head. I don't know. No, no, no. And if you remember, when they came after commercial, they were just finishing up their American Gladiator's competition where they fought each other with the Jow sticks on top of the pedestals. And Catherine knocked him off with like a shot to the legs.

And then they went, you know, they just went back to the highlights. It was real professional, my thought. Oh, God. I would pay so much money to have NHL people in an American Gladiator style competition. just like the idea of like, you know, Milan Luchich manning the tennis ball gun during assault. How much more fun would All-Star Weekend be if like instead of... If it was that? Instead of that.

It was like, like, they had to run the opposite of course at the end. But like, who would you have though? Because like if you have the All-Stars running the course, like, who are going to be the gladiators that have to like knock those guys down? Well, in theory, it would be recently, like, in theory it would be great if, like, Pronger could be one. Like, recently retired awesome dudes would be the gladiators. would be the gladiators. He's an active NHL player, Greg. If you want to pick a retired person,

you should pick someone who's actually retired. All right, listen, here's Catherine Tappen. When we come back, NHL Awards, entertainment, hockey porn, and a dream that Dave had that I'm going to interpret that it involved Alex Ovechkin and a slice of pizza. All right, bye.

Catherine Tappin, what's your favorite thing about the Stanley Cup playoffs? I would just say the intensity and the amount of people that are tuning in that are casual fans, big sports fans, but they might not be the biggest hockey fans. And, you know, friends of mine that don't usually watch during the year will be calling me, talking to me about games. And, you know, we all know when we cover the sport on a daily basis how awesome it is.

But the Stanley Cup playoffs, it just amplifies that. And there's so much excitement. The games are a completely different level than what these guys play during the regular season. And then you get to the Stanley Cup final, and it's another level. So it's been really fun. And, I mean, I just think the energy surrounding the whole playoffs is awesome. You're right about like casual friends and stuff. Like I get, I get a lot more text from people.

I also get a lot of people that are like, so where are you right now? They know what's going on, but they don't know where it's at, who's winning, that kind of thing. Yes, that happens to me a lot. I send my family and my closest girlfriends, my schedule before I go on the road. And they still are like, where are you today? And but it's, and that becomes a challenge, certainly with your personal life. You know, you want everybody to know where you are. You want them to be engaged in your life the same.

way you are in their life. And yeah, we're on planes every other day. We are in different cities every other day covering these playoffs. But as long as you just keep everybody honest, tell them where you are, it's fine. I read an interview with you from like four years ago when you started to first really travel, like a lot. And it reminds me of how much I don't like traveling. Have you gotten better with it? Yes. Yes. I actually hated traveling. I mean, I, there's a story of me when I was a kid. My mom, I mean, her arm was almost off of her arm when she traveled with me on airplanes. I was so scared of airplanes and just petrified. We would always drive everywhere. But, you know, it comes with the gig and you get used to it. I have my routine down. I have, you know, everything from the

luggage. I've got different toiletry bags packed in my house depending on if it's an overnight trip where I can just put the bag in the overhead or if it's a two-day trip or if it's a four-day trip or whatever it may be. I'm super organized. I'm a total type A personality. So I think that helps with regards to planning and mapping out, you know, what you're bringing on these trips. And And then as far as airport navigation, I mean, we've been to, I was traveling last night from San Jose back to Pittsburgh, and I had Steve Levy and Barry Melrose and Ray Ferraro, and we were going through O'Hare, and we all knew exactly what gate to get to get to and where we were going. And, you know, you just get used to these, the routine and the travel. And we're very fortunate. I have TSA pre-check. I can just skate right through. Pre-check's the best.

But it's kind of the point where I actually know some of the security guys at different airports. And that's what I said, okay, this is a problem. I've obviously been on the road for a while. You can know your gate at O'Hare, but it doesn't matter because you still need to take, like, a smaller plane to get there. From your connecting gate to the other gate. Yeah, that's true. It's the worst. You got to walk fast. So Dave Loza, who I co-host the show with, wanted me to ask you about Rutgers because I think he went there.

Yes. Now, I know you're an athlete, so this might not apply to you, but I'll ask you anyway. Did you have a favorite grease truck? Oh, that's so funny. That's like the first question we always get asked about. So I actually went to the grease trucks once. Just once. And it was a late night because that's when you go to the grease truck.

Of course, yes. And I was horrified by what I was looking at. I'm like, wait, there's a sandwich with meatballs, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, French fries, and then cheese on top of it? For those who don't know, the grease trucks are like, if you took every appetizer at TGA Fridays and put them on a sandwich. On a bun. Yeah, on a bun, yeah.

That's what the Greek. But they're packed. They're a total staple. They're an institution at Rutgers. I think the Food Network has done some shows on it. And it's really cool, and it's in a great area of the, you know, right where all the bars and the restaurants are. But I remember my girlfriends and I, we got the sandwich, we took it back to our house, and I think I probably got through me three, four bites of it.

But, yeah, so I don't have many great grease trucks. I don't think my cross-country coach would have liked us eating there as often. Yeah, you don't like to generally pass out from like a meat coma during the race. We're both Jersey. I'm from Adelon. Oh, great. I'm from Marstown. So do you call it Taylor Ham or pork roll?

Taylor ham. Up here. You're the best. That's exactly the right answer. Yeah, for sure. You got a lot of Rutgers pride? Oh, of course. Yeah.

Yeah. And now that, you know, now that Rutgers is in the Big Ten, it's even... It's great. But that's still crazy, though, isn't it? You know, all my vintage Big East Gear, when we ran championships and NCAAs where you get the cool logo to outfits from Nike at the time, I'm... That's all, that's like antique now. It's weird. But, yeah, I mean, I loved my experience there.

I met some great friends. I loved my teammates. We competed cross-country in the fall. indoor track in the winter and then spring track. So we were always in season. And the sports teams kind of come together. So I was friends with a lot of guys on the baseball team, the football team. My roommates were all women's lacrosse players.

And those are my best friends now to this day. That's awesome. I mean, it's such a great school. The pride in the state is great. And it's only getting better with, you know, the more, obviously the more successful the teams are that helps. Right. But I had a fantastic education there.

I've been asked to go back to speak a couple of times at my journalism classes. It's the best, right? It's really cool. It's a very humbling experience when your university. wants you to go back and, you know, my high school actually went and spoke to my elementary school this year, which I was so excited about. And that's, those are neat opportunities. When you go back to tell them about the business, like when I do that at Maryland, I like to scare them. But I like to scare them and be truthful about it. I'm like, I'm not trying to like,

I'm not, you know, in a perfect world, I'll tell them, don't become journalists because I want to keep my job and eventually it'll go to someone younger. But like, what I would try to tell them is like, it's a life, it's a lifestyle choice. Like that's the biggest, uh, be a bit of advice I can impart to them is just know that when you get into this you cannot dip your toe in there's not a nine to five gig you know that's great that's interesting you say that because i wish someone had said that to me because that was not communicated directly but um that is an important part to bring up and it's also incredibly hard work and you're constantly working i mean there are days you know my summer vacation where i'm checking the news feed i mean i need to stay current with all the teams i'm covering because

they you know they're doing moves all year round it may be the off season for the national hockey league but that's when a lot of stuff happens so yeah it's it's it's it's There are a lot of messages I like to convey when I speak it, depending on the age groups that I'm speaking to. But it's interesting that Mike Sullivan, coaching the Penguins, he's from the Boston area. And I flew home with them years ago from Vancouver back to Boston. We were on the same flight sitting next to each other. And we were chit-chatting. And he said, my daughter really wants to do what you do.

So I said, great. So we exchanged information. And, you know, she contacted me a couple of times. And then I didn't really hear much after that. Well, I just saw him last week. And I said, hey, how's your daughter doing? What did she end up doing? He said, oh.

And he kind of gave me a look. And I said, well, let me guess. she smartened up and decided not to do television. He said, well, I mean, your guys' jobs are so tough. It's too tough, yeah. She's in sports. She's doing a great job in Boston, working for New Balance, and she loves it. But he definitely communicated that he understands the, you know, the rigor more that we all go through here in this job.

That's really funny. How did you fall into hockey? Were you a hockey fan growing up? I was a casual hockey fan, I would say. I grew up in Northern New Jersey, as you know, I mean, growing up in the 90s. I was a devil's fan. Wow, that's pretty solid. All right.

We'll be a lot of Devils fans, though, can be very, I mean, a lot of Devils fans up there, a lot of Rangers fans up there too. Yeah, no, we were Devils, and my dad's company had Devils season tickets, so we would go to some games. But, I mean, really, I was all football and baseball. I mean, the Giants and the Yankees were my teams. And I got into hockey, my first, one of my first TV jobs, like real meat potatoes, local news, was in Providence, Rhode Island. And it was during the NHL lockout season. So all the Providence Bruins were Boston Bruins and Patrice Bergeron. Hanu Toevinen was in net.

Nate Thompson, who now is with Anaheim, all those guys were playing for that team. And I got to learn hockey because it was the big story of the town. You know, all these guys were playing in Providence. And then eventually I went to Nesson and started broadcasting Bruins games while I was at Nesson. And they went on and won the Stanley Cup the year I left. What did you find it be the hardest thing to get a grassbom when it came to cover in hockey? I'd say, I mean, I'd say the game itself. But I always find that the fundamental of every sport is the same.

So if you can work off of that foundation, you're in good. shape. I found out five days before the Bruins season started that I was covering the Bruins pre-game intermission and post game. I remember sitting there with my boss at Nesson and I said, he said, so we're going to put you on the Bruins? I said, what? I couldn't have named four players at the time for the Boston Bruins. What I did that year, though, was really pick the brain of my analysts. I was working with Mike Milbury, Rick Middleton, Gord Cluzeck, and Barry Peterson. And I would just sit and during the period, I would listen and I was writing stuff down. And I was very basic that year, I would say, with regards to how I would tee up my

analysts and I kept things pretty simple. And then that offseason, I really dove into, okay, who do I need to call? What GMs do I need to follow up? And all these things that make you a better broadcast or doing your homework, you know, I didn't have those resources because I didn't, I didn't even know before I was doing it what I was going to be covering. Let's talk about Mike. Your relationship with Millbury is one of our favorite things. Maybe it means all sports. Wow. It's, no, for real, it's because like, we watch it. And, you know, anytime that anyone can give them the gears a little bit, it's always fun. And it's been, and people like that, so recently that you did it on NBCSN,

and it became like this like viral story, like all these websites picked up. So I guess the first question is, how does that feel? Well, that was totally bizarre to me because that is just my natural interaction with Mike. Right, yeah. And a lot of the times it doesn't come across on camera, but that's the way we are together. I mean, I've known Mike for over eight years now, nine years. We've worked together that entire time. I know his family really well.

We spend a ton of time together off camera, on camera. I mean, we're very good friends. And so we go at it with each other, though, too. He'll give me heat. I'll give him heat. That's just the way, you know, we banter with each other. It gets kind of twisted a little bit when people see it. And we have the utmost respect for one another. But on air that night, when I made that, I was kind of annoyed at him at first because I'm like, don't make me look dumb.

I asked you a good question and you just almost buried me. So then I followed up as a banter as I would if we were sitting having lunch together, you know. And I got back, we got done with the show and I got back and we're getting set up to watch the game. And I happened to look at my Twitter and I went, uh-oh. I mean, I was totally shocked that it picked up that much steam. And I mean, it's, I felt bad. I apologize. I said, I'm really sorry.

I did not mean to if this offended you in any way. And he does not, he didn't care at all. He said, that's totally natural. We were being natural on camera. But we, you know, we have a long history together. And, you know, we both poke each other's buttons. He seems like a tease me. He's a fun bear to poke, though.

But he's just the best. I mean, people don't know Mike the way. I know Mike, the way a lot of a lot of us that work at NBC. I mean, he's one of the most generous people I've ever been around. He is so smart. It's scary. I mean, he's smart across the board with regards to pop culture,

history. He's a very worldly person. He loves visiting special spots when we go on these road trips. So, yeah, I mean, I love that I can poke him every now and then. I mean, it's great. And he's great about taking it, you know? You mentioned

social. How active are you on social media? I'd say not as active as a lot of people and probably not as active as many would want me to be. I keep my personal life completely separate from my world. Yeah, and, you know, I love tweeting. I love responding to fans that are positive. I only engage in positive communication with fans on Twitter. I love when fans come up and they pay us compliments.

And, you know, I'd be happy to comment back on that. I promote the shows that we're on. I promote any features we've got coming, any interesting storylines. But other than that, you know, when I'm on vacation, I'm not tweeting out a picture of what I ate for dinner that night. Is that just because you know how incredibly shitty social media is for a woman in journalism? I'd say I've developed a pretty thick skin in that. Listen, I've seen everything, and it's not pretty.

There's people that want to say things to you that's horrible, and a lot of people that can affect. And it does affect me sometimes, too. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm shielded from all of that. For me, it just becomes, you know, I don't want everybody to know every single thing about me. You know, there's a unique perspective that my family and my really close friends have about me and who I am. And sometimes, you know, you have to keep things personal, and you've got to keep it within your own world, you know? So that's just why, I mean, I just don't, I don't see the significance

in sharing my whole life story to the world. It's just not the way I was raised and it's not what I would want my children to be like. On the adrenaline in front, though, like, you're important because I think you're maybe one of only, I would say maybe like four, maybe five women in North America that are on the air covering hockey. And there's so many women that want to get, like, I'm looking around the room after game four, and I'm saying to myself, I'm hating myself. There's so many white dudes here.

Like, it's just too much white dudes. How important do you, I mean, do you take it upon yourself to be that role model and to show that, okay, the more ladies that are on the air and do great work, maybe more opportunities will open up. Well, I think it just goes back to who I looked up to. And, you know, and the women that were significant when I was in college and the women that I really, really wanted to emulate. Jackie McMullen, who's on ESPN, Michelle the Boston Globe, Hannah Storm, Michelle Tofoya. These women, I was really intrigued by, even Katie Kirk on the news side. For me, it's just you have to handle yourself with class. You have to handle yourself with integrity. I've always been a hard worker, no matter what I'm doing, if I'm vacuuming my room,

it's going to be done, like corner to corner, and the lines are going to look the same everywhere on the carpet. So that's just the way I've always been. And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, certainly aware that there are young women that want to do what I want to do, and they're all around us, and I'm happy to share any kind of advice I can. And one of the first things I always say is, you know, handle yourself with class. You don't show up looking like you're ready to go to a nightclub because you'll write yourself right off, you know, right off their radar. I think it's awesome. I showed up in belly shirts for the first few times. It didn't work out for you. It didn't work. It didn't work out in a lot of ways, yeah. I mean, I think it's great. And, you know, I love seeing, like,

Jamie Hirsch at our network at NHL Network. She's doing a tremendous job. She's working your butt off, and people see that. And she will be great for as long as she wants to do this. And I'm more than happy to share whatever kind of knowledge I have. And I'd like to think I'm not that much older than Jamie, but I'm certainly not the youngest of the bunch anymore. How old were you when you broke in? I was right out of college.

I wanted an audition at CSTV in 2003, the year I graduated. I started in Providence in 2005. I've been doing this for the better part of the last 13 years. So I'm 35. I'm not afraid to say. I'm a 39-year-old blogger. I feel like the old guy at the skateboard park. You know, it's not talking about Tony Hawk. And you know what?

To that point, though, that's what makes me work even harder. I know there's younger blood coming in. I know there's, you know, somebody that there's tons of people that want my job. So that just makes me, I've got to constantly work harder. I'm not looking over my shoulder. I'm not scared of it. But I'm not naive to think that I have to work extra hard every single night, especially on a huge stage like the Stanley Cup final to make sure that.

I am at my very best because when I'm at my very best, I know that, you know, there's not many people that can do what I'm doing. I'm scared of it because they're cheaper and they know how to use Snapchat better. That's true, too. I don't do Snapchat. I cut off at Instagram. That's about it. Do you still run four miles a day? 40 miles a day?

I do. I do. I try to run, especially when I'm on the road when I can't have access to other activities that I like to do. But running is great. You can run in every city. You can learn the cities. It's easy to just pack your running. sneakers. I'm huge on boxing

now. There's a boxing gym I go to. No kidding. Yeah, for about a year and a half I've done that in Boston at a place called Peter Welch's gym. And then I found a spot in New York City called Shadowbox that I go to. That emotional release along with fitness. It's unreal. It's like a combination of everything. It's incredibly intense fitness-wise. It's

a mental release for me. It's, um, I'm a, you know, I'm an endurance person. It's a lot of mental combinations you have to get. I love it. It's a friend of mine told me about it for years and I was like, I'm not doing boxing. so not for me, but once I got into it, I loved it. Do you ever see Milbury's face on the speedback?

No, never, and I'm not going to tell you whose face I can see on the speedback. We mentioned before we started that you are a Kardashians fan. Are you OG Kardashians fan, like going back to the beginning when the graphics were really cheesy? Let's define fan. I would say I really enjoy watching the show because it is a complete outlet from my real life is. I mean, I rarely have time to watch any TV. if I get a chance to, I love Blue Bloods, I love a bunch of shows. But for me, the Kardashians, I love their houses.

I'm very big into architecture and design. I mean, they're changing their, they're remodeling their homes every three weeks. It's fun for me to see that. I do not like the image of what they portray. Yeah, I think it's very sad to me that young girls are looking up to that and think that that's the best way that we need to conduct ourselves. But from an entertainment perspective and from what their lifestyle is, I mean, sometimes it's just nice to see something that's totally not anywhere near what you do in your life.

Chloe's okay. Kim's kind of a space alien and Courtney's whatever. That's how I kind of feel about it. And I agree with you. There's very few shows that I can have on while I'm writing that it's just noise. Yeah. And that's just noise. I mean, people ask me what I watch when I'm not working and I'm always watching another sporting event.

I'm watching a baseball game. Oh, really? I'm watching a football game. Always. And sometimes I realize that that can be. be very intense and I don't give myself, I don't give myself outlets to really just decompress and totally get my mind off of. I mean, I read Us Weekly. I love it because I just flip through and I'm looking at what celebrities are wearing. I mean, I like seeing what they're wearing. I like

their shoes. I like their handbags. I like all that stuff. Let's talk about handbags. How many do you own? Oh, geez. I mean, a ton. Because you said, I remember reading an article about you that said that that's your obsession. It's my, well, it's my weakness probably. High end handbags. It's, yeah. It's a weakness is a better word. Obsession means that you're constantly buying them, but I think you probably look at them. I love looking at them. Sometimes they come home with me.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes my sister's my financial advisor, and she advised me that I probably have enough at this point. But you don't. I don't. You never have enough. I just love them.

I mean, I'm a girly girl, too. Like, as sporty as I am, and athletic as I am, I love purses. I'm not like a big shoe person because I'm super tall. I don't wear high heels a lot. A real Mars and Venus divide, though,

because, like, my fiancé, say, we'll come home with a bag, and I'll be like, but you just came home with a bag. So explain this, explain this to me. Bridge the gap between the gender. Styles change. That will never happen. You can't ever break the gap between genders. But the other thing is you, I don't think men will ever understand a handbag.

No. It's a completely depreciating value. We get that. Scott Burnside does from the ESPN. He's got, he's got a sort of a satchel he wears. Okay. Yeah. But that's it, though.

Absolutely. he's got his he's got a satchel too he has immersed a man purse he does what is he keeping it do you know we don't really ask secrets yeah we don't want to know probably but no we will never understand handbags i don't know they're beautiful and do whatever it's if but you know what you're buying handbags to impress other women i'm not buying handbags to impress men men don't know how much handbags pass so i guess that's the that's the narcissism of it all finally katherine tappen um would you would you ever want to get into like hockey men Does the managerial side, the coaching side? Does anything besides the playing side interest you in hockey? No. I just don't think that having never played the game, I don't think I would have the grasp of... All of it. Right, right. And I actually love that I'm okay saying that.

I tee up my analyst. There are so many things I don't know about the sport that I love asking them questions about on set, on air, because there's probably a ton of viewers at home that don't know those questions either. But no, I mean, if I got into some sort of managerial role, it would probably be like PR or something like that, you know, facilitating player request and everything. But I certainly would never be a general manager. I would never be in those positions. That's for the real experts of the game. And I guess finally, finally, though, let's say you were a hockey player and you won the cup.

What would your day with the cup be like? Oh, that's interesting. You got to take it back to NJ. take it back to the Garden State? Or do you not take it back to the Garden State? I don't know. I would, I might take it back to the Garden State, but I would take it to a group that would really, I'd probably take it to a bunch of groups. Absolutely. A charity, a hospital. My cousin, I lost my cousin last year. He was an active member of the Marine Corps. So I think that would be a really unique opportunity to take it to one of our military bases and show it off down there to the men and women that allow us to play and to do what we do. But at like 9 o'clock at night, like where in the north end does it end up? Like what?

In the north end? It's going to end up somewhere where there will be a small amount of people. And I don't know. I mean, listen, I'm not ever going to have a day with the cup. So we don't even have to worry about this. Well, thank you, Catherine Tappen. Thank you. It's been fun.

Thank you to Catherine Tappen. Absolutely wonderful person. Super great for joining us here on Puck Soup. Liar. Oh, yeah. You have a real beef with her, don't you? there's no way a human being can go to Rutgers University in New Brunswick and go to the grease trucks one time. There's just, I don't buy it, Catherine.

I don't buy it. I feel like you snuck away from your cross-country team at night. You ordered fat moons and fat sams and didn't tell anybody about it. There's no way you can smell that area and not want to go back there every day. Yeah, but that's, but that's why I said that like to her, like, but she runs cross-country. And like, that when you eat the grease trucks, it feels like there's a cannonball. in your lower intestine. That's good cross-country training.

It's like running with weights on your wrist. It's like a rocky training montage with just a grease truck sandwich in your stomach. Oh, it's on fire. Birch Meredith's screaming at her, have another fat moon. You're going to eat crap and crap, crap, because this food's crap, but it's good. All right. It's time for a weekly segment here on Puck Soup called Hockey Porn. This time on Hockey Porn, a little something different.

different, not an audio hockey porn, but a written hockey porn, Dave Lozo. So Alex Pruitt from S.I., who's a very nice guy, a very good writer. The nicest. He's a very, very sweet boy. He wrote a story about Carl Hagelin, and Carl Hagelin is a good-looking kid, Swedish, went to Michigan, so he's got that whole Swedish-American thing going on. And he wrote a story about Carl Hagelin. And in the story, he references a thing, and I'm going to read it to see.

you now. Here's the paragraph. It says, indeed, speed and energy have always been Hagelin's hallmark attributes. And then in parentheses, it says, college teammates who nicknamed him Hot Carl, however, would disagree. Now, according to Alex, they called him Hot Carl, because Carl Hagelin's a good-looking guy. His name is Carl. Hot is a way to describe somebody who is good-looking, hence the term Hot Carl. But as Greg will tell you, Hot Carl, if you don't don't know this doesn't necessarily mean good looking guy named Carl. Yeah, a hot Carl is, whoa, he got a little, a little police activity going on outside. Oh, can you hear that?

It's like way outside. Wow. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. So a hot Carl is one of your terms, like a Cleveland steamer or things like that. Yes. Um, a hot Carl is the act of, and I quote urban dictionary, putting saran wrap over the face of

someone and then taking a dump on it. If it's on Urban Dictionary, you know it's true. So we're all about sourcing our information on the show. And so, oh, but this is an even better description. It's the act of saran, saraharan wrapping one's face and proceeding to take a hot, steamy shit on the saran wrap. And here's the money, the money part, thus letting them feel the warmth of the poo on their face. So when the good folks at Michigan call them hot Carl, I can't help but think that they

is a certain double entendre happening. Right, right. Like if, you know, if, like, Brian Rust wasn't playing very well, and, like, you know, he always struggled when he came back after long layoffs, and he played a musical instrument, and his teammates called him Rusty Trombone, that there would be a reason why they chose that nickname because, like, if a hot Carl wasn't a hot Carl,

they wouldn't call Carl Hagelin hot Carl they would just probably call him Carl Right It's like if Jonas Donscoy happened to be a real physical player and used to just smack people around Maybe somebody would say they got Donskoi punched

Right, it's a possibility, right? But Hot Carl is definitely a thing And Pruitt's such a sweet boy I don't know if he did or didn't know it I'm going to err on the side of did because sometimes sweet boys are kind of real dirty boys too. He claims he did, and I feel like the way he framed, because he uses Hot Carl on a tweet to link to his story.

Yeah. I feel like he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. I wonder if like his editors did. Oh, that's a whole other issue. There's no way his editors did. Yeah. Whatever.

Good for him. Good for him. I'm going to try to get a dirty Sanchez into a story at some point. Yeah, good for him. Do you know how hard it is to sneak by a hot Carl? It's a lot of preparation involved. Like a hot Carl is basically what Dexter would do to kill his prey, except like he would take a dump on him. That would be like an entirely different show.

So we look forward to Alex Pruitt becoming a lumberjack at the end of his SI run. Spoiler. Dave Loza, you texted me recently to tell me that you had a dream involving me and Alex Ovechkin. Yeah, okay. So we're in this hot tub, right? Oh, shut up. Oh. The other dream.

Yeah, the other dream. Yeah, yeah. I, it's sort of, I vaguely remember it at this point, but like, we were in Pittsburgh together, and we were on our way to the game. And I was like, I'm kind of hungry. I don't want to have any arena food. Let's stop off and get some pizza. And you were like, I know this place, but you took me to like a diner, like a Jersey diner type place. Hey!

You're like, trust me, trust me. This place has really good pizza. So I go up to like the counter and I order a slice of pizza. And like, as I get my pizza, you're like, hey, come over here. Come over here. I got a booth. I'm like a booth, we got to get to the game. And like in the booth was like a full pie.

And I was like, oh, okay, we can sit here and eat this pizza then. And I sit down and I take a slice off of like, it's like one of those places where like they put the pizza on the tray. Oh, nice. One of your high end Jersey diners that puts pizza on a tray with artisan pizza. I don't know what was going on. Because most Jersey diners aren't like barth from you can't do that on television, putting pizza under his armpit and then serving it. And so I'm like, it's hot. So I'm like blowing on the pizza.

And as I'm blowing on the pizza, I look to my right and Alex Ovechkin's like standing like 10 feet away watching us eat the pizza. But he's making fun of me for blowing on the pizza. He's like, mimicking my blowing on the pizza. He's like, oh, it's so hot. And I'm like, I'm like, fuck you. It's hot. Like, what do you do? You blow on pizza when it's hot.

And he's like, ooh. And then that's all I remember from the dream. We went to the game and Matt Murray lit up three goals and then there was a game five. Not only am I your dedicated podcasting partner on Puck Soup, this incredible nerdist podcast that we've created. But you probably don't know that in a previous life, I was actually into dream analysis. I have a book. I have a book. You may have heard of it.

It's called R.E.M. Job. Why everything you dream about is about your inadequate penis. But I don't think that your dream has to do with that necessarily. But I am, of course, schooled in dream analysis, so I decided to take your dream and really break it down into simple terms. And these are all actual dream analysis points about the things in your dream. Now, it took place in Pittsburgh, which of course is the Steel City. And to see Steel in your dream symbolizes toughness, willpower, determination, and strength. Wow, really.

I figured it has some to do with not being able to get an erection. But okay, go ahead, keep going. Now, pizza, we were eating pizza, and this is the actual dream analysis of pizza. To see or eat pizza in your dream represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you're lacking or feeling deprived of something. Now, we were eating the pizza and eating in a dream, to dream that you were eating with others, and you and I were obviously having a slice or two at this Jersey diner in Pittsburgh, to dream that you are eating with others signifies harmony, intimacy, meriness, prosperous undertakings,

personal gain, or joyous spirits. If you dream that you are a picky eater, and in this case I think it applies because you were saying that it was too hot, and I was probably scarfing down my piece at that point, so you're being a picky, I think. It indicates that you were holding back something. It was too hot to eat, and heat in a dream represents pure. creative energy or intense passion. But the key of the dream, the pivot, the thing that is going to be the lynchpin for this

entire dream analysis, what is Alex Obetchkin, Dave Lozo? Where is he from? Wait, like, Russia? Yeah, that's right. If you dream about a Russian, this is the actual dream analysis that I looked up. Come on. This isn't real, by the way. No, this is completely real.

It's from a website about dream analysis, but also I'm an author for some shit. The dream, having a Russian in your dream could be a pun on rush. Perhaps you need to get moving on some decision or goal. You need to hurry along in some area of your life. That's an actual dream analysis. So, in summary, you are very upset that you can't be on the road with me because I am tough and also you want to fuck me. And Alex Ovechkin says that you have to get off your ass and make something of yourself to be able to come on the road with me and maybe fuck me.

So here's what I think. I think it's because I've been watching hockey for two straight months. I really wanted pizza. And yeah, I totally want to fuck you. That one part of it, they really nailed. I can't deny that REM job. You got your sick bastard. Now, explain to me my dream where I'm a giant sausage and I fall into a bushel of clams.

All right. So basically you were watching the episode of Family Guy. You shouldn't have to do that. The NHL Awards are coming up later this month. And boy, oh boy, Dave and I have some surprises for you vis-a-vis the NHL Awards, but we'll keep those under wraps for now. But we do need to mention the fact that as they do every year in the Vegas version of the NHL Awards, because I think when they were in Canada, they didn't really have musical guests per se.

If they did, it was probably just like the house band for CBCs, whatever. But like in Vegas, they always have musical guests. And the musical guests this time on the Will Arnett hosted NHL Awards is something called ex-ambassadors. Like what does that even mean ex-ambassadors? Well, I got excited personally because I was like, this is so cool. like the NHL Awards featuring John Bolton, John Danforth, John Negroponte, Richard Holbrook. Oh, he's, I think he's, I don't know if he's alive, but all the ex-US ambassadors to the UN, I thought would be there. And I got very excited.

What? What's the matter? No? What? Are you sure? I think you were going to do like an X-Men joke where it was like the ambassadors for the X-Men and it was just like, bald guy. What's his name again? Oh, Jesus.

Do you mean Professor X, the head of the X-Men? Because, like, he was always the guy that went to the, you know, governmental things to be, like, you know, X-Men all just people like you and they want to protect the society. Yes, the X-Men are, not mutants. The X-Men are like people like you. You're very schooled. You're very schooled the X-Men, aren't you? You know what? Have you seen the new one?

Yeah, I did. You saw it? Yeah, it was fine. Like, it got terrible reviews, but, like, it was, you know what the thing was, is, like, the X-Men movies have a certain expectation to be excellent to excel. No, they all seem to have something to say. Like, you know, Brian Singer's previous ones, like X2 is very famous for having a scene where being a mutant is akin to coming out to your parents and stuff. And, like, you know, they all have something to say. This one didn't.

This one was just straight up goofy, cartoon, actiony. Oscar Isaac looks like Ivanu's kind of bullshit movie And it was fine It wasn't terrible I actually liked the new group of like Younger Cyclops and Younger Storm and all them And I actually wish the movie could have been more about them But like there was a Wolverine

You know slice and dice scene that's really cool A good quicksilver scene Like it's fine It's not terrible It's just there you know I'm never going to see it Well that's fine What is ex-ambassadors

Where would I know them from? They have the one, the only song that I know they have is that song that's from, I want to say a truck commercial. And it's like, it's always on. It's on the radio. It's on Spotify. It's on everything. And it just goes, I say, hey, hey, hey, living like we're renegades. And there's nothing more renegade than having your song played in a commercial for a car.

So I feel like that that band is really. really reach its pinnacle. They've hit their goal of being a renegade band and a renegade song that's been sold out. Like, it's one thing, like, I remember, like, as a kid, like, music was never in commercials like it is today. And now it's like, if you heard a song in a commercial, like, say if you heard a commercial in 1997, it would feature, like, some, like, Frankie Valley song that, like, you never

heard. But, like, there was never, like, like, it wasn't, there was never, like, an insurance commercial where they used, like, a song from, like, Pearl Jam in 1995. Right. And, like, now, I feel like, that's how some bands get no. noticed is like they just let their they're they're they're all like young dudes in a band and they give their song to like um you know whatever like like there's a commercial now uh for like like buying a house or whatever and it's your dream house and they use annie lennox as sweet

dreams in the background of it like that's normal but like i feel like ex- ambassadors like they got their big break in a car commercial yeah i think and i think a lot of like i don't think i've ever heard a Denny Lavato song on the radio before I've heard it in a commercial. Like there's certain, like, I feel like you're right. Like, it's now a delivery system for new music versus anything else. It's weird. Movie trailers, too, I think, would be like that, too. Like, you hear a song on a movie trailer, like, what's that song in a movie trailer?

And it's like, I feel like Entertainment Weekly actually has, like, a section sometimes in their music section because it's terrible. I'm like, what song is in this commercial and where can I find it? Like, that was never the thing. It was, like, a bad thing to have your song on a commercial. Exactly. Like, it was like, oh, man, like, like, uh, like, I think, like, there was always, like, a thing where there'd be, like, a guy who was dead, like, say, like, Johnny Cash.

And there'd be, like, a fight with his estate. Yeah, with his state, right. Yeah. And, like, now it's basically like, oh, what? Hold on Chevy. You have a commercial? Yeah. Use my song.

That's called, um, Chevro away. Something. Like, it's just, it's just so bad. Johnny, I guess it's my mind. Johnny Cass is Chevrolet. Chevrolet. You have to get noticed somehow. And so, like, if you can get your song in a commercial that airs, like, every commercial break during sports, you know, whatever.

Whatever gets you out there, I guess. My empire of dirt. Like, hi, I'm Dave Matthews from Dave Matthews band. You probably know my song, Ants Marching, from this working commercial that has been on TV for the past two weeks. And it's all the little ants are marching, red and black and black. Hi, I'm Billy Corrigan for Smith and Wesson. Our song, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, is proud to be the song for Smith and Wesson bullets. Right?

Like, it's just that that would never happen back in the day. Back in my day, music meant something, Greg. Want you? We're in my rearview mirror of this Honda Accord. Like, it's like the, what's like a jingle from like back in the day? like buy menon like imagine like the buy menon guy who's going to the nchl awards hey we're here to play our hit song bye menon wouldn't you like to be a pepper too now here's the king clancy award all right listen by the way ex-ambassadors joins a very storied list of musical guests we've had nickel back on the n hl awards we've had dotry which i guess is a very storied list of of musical guests we've had nickelback on the n hl awards we've had dotry which i guess is sort of a synonym for nickelback. We've had

Philip Phillips from American Idol, huge star. Not a real person. Sorry. I read that too. I didn't see the performance. It's just a name they made up in the press. I was saying, if your name is Philip Phillips,

that's totally a stage name, right? So you had to pick that stage name at gunpoint when someone's like, okay, so you want to register to be part of the music group? association or whatever. What's your name? My name's Philip Glass. Oh, we actually have a Philip Class in here already.

So you have to pick your name right now, and you're just like, Philip. Yeah. Unfortunately, he had a stutter. So he became Philip Phillips. Philip Phillips. Philip Phillips, Stunner, you're in there. Nashville Predator Superfan, Dierks Bentley was an NHL Awards performer.

Also, Far East Movement, I don't quite know. they were on the NHL Awards? Well, the Far East Movement was actually a movement in 1655 in order to bring civil rights to the poor people in the Far East. That's actually not a band, Greg. Okay. And so what we're in world history is Shine Down because they were also an NHL Awards band. Shindown is actually a cover band that covers, I think it's Soul Asylum. Is that Soul Asylum song?

Heaven Let Your Light Shine Down? No, that was definitely collective soul. and also shine down, not actually a band, a conditioner. Snoop Dog, Snoop Dog played the NHL Awards, though. That's solid. He's a huge Ducks fan. Yeah, that has to be the biggest thing they've ever gotten, right?

You'd assume. And also, of course, the first year they were in Vegas was the most interesting year that they've ever had because they had Robin Thick before he became Robin Thick. So basically, like, hockey superfan, Alan Thick was like, Hey, Gary, I got this kid. He's a real talented singer.

And, you know, being that I was the dad from growing pains, I don't know why I'm doing Milbury. I figured you could get Robin on the show, huh? And then also the one that everybody remembers is, as, it's tough to have your, the nadir of your thing happen in the first year. But that was also the year that Shaka Khan appeared on the NHL Awards. Shaka Khan. I don't even know what Shaka Khan songs are. You just know that. You just know Shaka Khan.

Shaka Khan, Shaka Khan, Shaka Khan. That was apparently one of Betman's like favorite performers and that's why she was on the show. I don't know if you knew that. Honestly, like Shaka Khan is probably like behind Snoop Dog as like the second best act they probably had, right? Like, it's not even close. As far as like legendary musical status? Yeah, as far as like names go. Yeah.

Without question. No question. Why do they, why do they do it? Why don't they just like make it an hour show like lose the sketches where like Ryan gets Slop and Corey Perry, like, kidnap a king or whatever they're going to do this year. Just like, just an hour show. Boom, getting, get out. All right.

Before we get to some of your letters, we wanted to briefly talk about the fact that it is, of course, the 15th anniversary. Right? 15th of, of Raymond Bork. Raymond Bork. Winning the Stanley Cup with the Colorado Avalanche, a complete mercenary, a guy who deserves no respect. because he beat the devils. The thing about it is that, like, listen, I begrudgingly respect the fact

that that was such a special moment for a lot of people. Avalanche fans, but mostly probably Bruins fans. But, like, I really hated the fact that the Bork thing became the overriding story in those finals.

Like, the exit 16W thing, because, you know, all that, it just was like, it was the noise I want to make with my mouth when I think about that sometimes. Yeah. And honestly, like, I forgot about it until Lambert tweeted about it, but the whole like Boston celebration for it is, especially at that point, it was just so embarrassing.

Like, I can't, I don't even know how like the modern guy who I probably feel this most sorry for is Jerome McGinla. And it was like, Jerome McGillow won a Stanley Cup with Colorado. Yeah. Imagine. But like, but like, but that's the other part too, is that it also led to one of the biggest. like, I mean, and listen, I don't want to pick on the Avalanche because Avalanche fans always think that, like, I've got it in for their organization because they beat the devil's three cups. I don't give a shit. Like, great hair, don't care. But like, it led to the number retirement of Ray Bork in Colorado, which is like if S&L retired Billy Crystal's number. It's like, you know, it's like, come on. Or like the devil's retired Doug Gilmore's number. Yeah, well, no, no. I mean, they never won with Gilmore. Like, at least they won with Bork. But like, it's just so, it's so. It's so. It's so. brief. It's like, I don't know. It always bothered me. But anyways, so the thing that we were, that we were thinking is like, so Ray Bork was a guy who was stuck in a place where he was never going to win in Boston and then went to a place and finally won. And are there other guys that are in a borky situation in 2016 that we would celebrate if they had the chance to go someplace else and win a cup? And who's on your list? I mean the Siddins first and foremost

Like I feel so bad for them right now Yeah I completely agree That's top of my list too Yeah like they're totally in it Like their team is terrible And their GM is like Well if we had just had Brandon Sutter We would have went to the playoffs

Like What? What? We got Eric and Branson We're going to make the play I feel like they're kind of doing these moves Because of the Siddines They're like well we've only got a couple years last

They better just trade them get them somewhere where they can go win something and do something nice for them. Like, Eric Good Branson's not putting you over the top. And so, like, if they were to go to, like, any other team and win the cup, I'm not saying that Vancouver should have a parade for them or anything or a celebration in the city or whatever,

but, like, those are the two guys, I definitely feel. Because, like, they have that reputation of, like, oh, they're the Sedeen sisters. They don't fight back. They're such wussies and women and blah, blah, blah. Like, shut up. Like, I want the Sadeens to win the Sadiens to win. Stanley Cup and like, I don't know, murder somebody on the way and just be like, yeah, what's up now?

With the cup. Oh, oh, no, you know what they should totally do? They should totally pull Jane Silent Bob strike back and show up at Brad Barshan's house and just bludgeon him. Just bludgeoning him with the cup. Just like punch him in the face. Why are you punching yourself? Why are punching yourself? Why are punching yourself?

I thought your pick was going to be the guy that I'll now say, which is Henrik Lundquist. Like, the window is going to be closed in New York. pretty quickly. And, like, I've watched Lunkwist so often in the playoffs that it pains me that he hasn't actually won a cup because he's done everything he could possibly do to drag the bruised and battered and underwhelming carcass of the Rangers as deep into the playoffs as he possibly can. I would love nothing more if he hashicked it.

If he went someplace and wanted, like, a great team and just was the hashick for some team and got a cup ring that way. Yeah. It's funny because, like, I'm always around it. Like, I don't think of him as, like, this old guy. But yeah, he is. He's old. He's NHL old.

And the window's closed here, for sure, by the way. I don't know what the Rangers are going to do this summer to kind of fix things, but they're not going to be better than Pittsburgh next year. Pittsburgh's going to have their whole team back next year, so they're not going to be better than them next year. So I don't know how they're going to win the Cup in the York. Unless I would love to see him go to Dallas. That'd be great.

Just figure it out, like have the Rangers eat some money. I think the first step would be call Dean Lombardi and find out how to plant meth on Dan Girardi at the border. Like that'd be the first thing you gotta do. Like, Dan Girardi is driving from Canada to America and like somehow Dean Lombardi

like waves him over on the side of the road. It's like, yeah, you're Dean Lombardi. You need a ride? Yeah. Oh, yeah, my car broke down. I can you be a ride to the border? And like he just like sprinkles cocaine and crack all throughout the car.

Like puts like an unregistered gun in the glove box and then just like barrel rolls out of the car a mile before the border. The other player, the other player I think I'd love to see. finally win a cup in a new location would be Connor McDavid. Because honestly, like, you know, that's just never going to happen. I mean, he's been through so much there at this point. I feel like we need to get him someplace safe, someplace where he can excel.

Exactly. You don't want to see his career go on to be wasted like it has so far. Absolutely. It's time for the final segment of the show each week, which is, of course, your listener, mail. Questions for me and Dave on Puck Soup. You send it to Puck Soup podcast on Twitter or you hashtag it Puck Soup. Sometimes it goes to the guy who owns the Puck Soup Twitter handle, and then he laughs and laughs and laughs because we won't pay him for it. But that's fine.

Chris Kenny writes in, why doesn't someone at the table just hand the check to the alligator? That's a really good question. This is, of course, in reference to that commercial that I want to say is for Geico, but maybe not, where the alligator has little short arms and pretends he can't reach the check to pay the bill. And I never thought of that until Chris said it. why doesn't someone just hand the check the alligator and be like, hey, let me help you out, little guy. That's every Geico commercial. It's just like, why don't they just do blank?

Because like the one guy is trying to propose to his girlfriend, but she keeps getting butt dialed. Like, you know, like, you know what he's about to do. Turn your goddamn phone off. And the second callback won't happen. And then, like, that's every Geico commercial. It's just stupid. I want to punch my TV every time I see a Geico commercial and a stupid ass discover

commercial. Oh, God, that's why Pittsburgh had to win game five, so we didn't have to watch any more stupid NHL. We at Enterprise know what hockey fans want. Oh, God, yeah. And it's the one where they have the car flag on the rental car. Like, who brings a car flag with them to put on a rental car? What does it mean? We know what hockey fans want.

I want a car. I'm in town. I need a car. I don't need a – like, what happens if, like, you go to get your car, and the person's like, oh, I see you're from New York. Are you a Rangers fan? And you're like, yeah, I'm a big Rangers fan. And then they just start talking to you about the Rangers.

Like, no, just give me a goddamn car. We know what we see Disney. We know what hockey fans want. Oh, do you? What, a lack of diversity? No women trying to learn the sport. Like, what is, what are you getting at Discover card? We know what at Discovery.

We know what hockey fans want. And then it's like a guy who's like picking all the things he wants in his car. And then like, Ironer Prize is like, no, you can't have any of that. You told me I could, you told me I could pick. I want to have air conditioning. No, no, no, no. You don't want that. Trust us. We know better for you what you want than you do.

That's exactly right. That would be what it is. Andrew Clark says lots of talk about expansion to Las Vegas. Is Quebec out of luck or maybe relocation more likely? Andrew, it appears that Quebec is even saying at this point that it's going to be relocation versus expansion. Vegas is going to get that team, maybe it's going to be great. And then Quebec is going to be the backdoor relocation option that we always thought it would be. Backdoor relocation. That's an interesting way to describe that.

Exactly. Yeah. Uh-huh. That's right. Hey now. Sorry about the hot Carl on expansion, Quebec. Just so you know, if you're going to do a backdoor relocation, you should definitely ask your permission first.

You don't want to just do a backdoor relocation without anybody getting a heads up about it. Exactly. You can do one of two things. You can pay $500 million to have something just presented to you and, like, delivered to you and stuck inside of you. Or you can just take a backdoor relocation for significantly cheaper. Right. But you don't want to do the backdoor relocation like the Cleveland Browns did in the middle of the night, but nobody ready for it.

Like you need to have everybody ready for the backdoor relocation. You know how they moved all that stuff to Cleveland, by the way? Tell me how. A steamer. What? Is there a problem? Is there a thing? No, no, sorry.

I said something stuck in my throat. Oh, okay. Your predictions, this will probably be heard after Game Six for most people. Your prediction for Game Six real quick? Sharks three, penguins, two. I will go Penguins 17, Sharks, one. And Kessel has seven goals. And then Crosby wins the consmite because he had an assist on the game winner.

Right, because he was like, hey, I got an idea. I'm going to pass you the puck. And you shoot it. you should score. And then after the game, he's going to be like, well, I do that 90 times a game. And that's the one time it worked. And everybody will ignore him, even though he said that. If I had time in a bottle.

Starts running around the offensive zone. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Moving around the bullets. All right, that's Puck Sue for this week. Thanks for joining us and putting up with, again, a remote edition of the show. I can't wait to be back in the arms of my podcast lover, Dave Lowe, in New York City and do the show proper. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I didn't tell my story. What was your story? The story I told you about with my gardener. We're going to have to get to it next time. We have to end this show now. Oh, my God. I just feel bad because I wanted to apologize to him. Oh, go ahead.

You can apologize to him. We can apologize to him real quick. All right. So I, much like Greg last week, I got a groupon for a gardener because I have a garden. And as you know, me and Greg are extremely wealthy, and we have cleaning people and gardeners. But we have to use Groupon once in a while to save money. But yada, yada, yada, yada. He snuck into my house and took a dump.

And I don't allow that from the help. I don't let the help do that. And you're probably wondering, how do I know that he took a dump in my place while I was out getting coffee? Yeah. And just like with Greg and Ruby, where Ruby had it on camera, I keep a camera in my toilet. Oh, of course you do. Right, because it's illegal based on Law and Order episodes I've seen, but it's a toilet, it's a camera in my own toilet.

I just think it's funny watching myself pee and poop. And Henry, that's his name. My Gardner's name was Henry. Of course it is. He just went to my apartment and took a dump and didn't flush. He didn't flush. And so just like Ruby, where Ruby had to show the cleaning woman a video of her drinking the vodka, I had to show Henry the video of him taking a dump into my toilet.

And he basically said, yeah, I'm really. sorry, but I should have flushed. It's my fault. So I apologize to Henry. I probably could have given him a better set of ground rules for coming into my house when he was gardening and I wasn't home. So Henry, all the best out there. And I've deleted the video. It won't be on the internet. I promise. You had to give the gardener ground rules. Well, that's a lovely story. And I'm glad that we both live a life of privilege. As one of the great reviewers on iTunes said, we're a bunch of finance bros, me and you. Yeah, that's all we do. That's all we all.

Yeah, bro. What's up, bro? Nice portfolio, bro. Anyway. Let me pop my collar before the show. You can leave a positive review on iTunes if you like the show, and please do that. Anyways, this is Puck Soup. I'm glad you got their gardener story, and I think it was definitely worth it.

I am Greg Wichinsky of Yahoo Sports, Puck Daddy blog. You can find me on Twitter at Wachinsky, and also on the Merrick v. Bersonski podcast as well. Oh, this is the part where I talk, right? Yeah. Yeah. You can find me at all the places that are listed in my Twitter page and then click links and then find stuff and then read it. Don't read it.

Don't leave comments. You do whatever you want to do. It's your life. I'm not going to tell you what to do. It's up to you. That's right. You can do what you want to do. In living color.

You can do what you want to do. In living color. What's up? Heavy D. Heavy D. Rap break. It's obsolete. Heavy D.

Rap break. Got some feet. Heavy D. Wrap break. Two. Beep. Beep, be deep, be deep, beep. Good show.

Thank you. Quality stuff. Blank Man was a terrible movie, I just want to point out. I just thought of that. It's a superhero movie nobody talks about the superhero movie Renaissance. It's Blank Man. And Meteor Man.

Why did anyone associated with the Wayans, Robert Townsend and Damon Wayans make two of the worst superhero movies of all time? I'm assuming somebody gave them a lot of money for it. Yeah, you're probably right. I'm just like, okay, sure, I'll be a janitor who fights crime with my janitor tools. Okay, done. Here's $2 million. Okay. Sold. Good luck to Phil Kessel in his pursuit of the MVP trophy. We all want to say it. Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks to Catherine Tapp. And again, we'll see you next week on

Puck Soup. Bye. Bye. Oh, what's your goodbye? You got to say your big line at the end. Oh, yeah. Hey, everybody. Look. Stay lit. No, is it stay lit? I haven't done this in a while. Oh, it's a be lit and stay loyal. Stay loyal A. Bye. Hey, everybody. This is what we would like to call the epilogue of the show,

because after that hour and whatever minute bit of insanity that we just presented you, as soon as we got done with the taping, we found out Gordy Howe died. And I don't think that we could possibly put out a podcast this week without acknowledging the passing of Mr. Hockey at 88 years old, legendary player, legacy beyond his playing career. and by that of course I mean the hockey jersey Cameron wore and Ferris Bueller and the fact that he was featured on the Simpsons. Oh, and also the Gordy Howe hat trick for the goal, the assist in the fight, which Gordy Howe almost never had.

Yeah, and for the record, like he died. We found out he died like literally a minute after we hung up the phone. And we always talk about this how like the second we get done with the podcast, whether we do it on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, the minute I walk out of the studio, I check my phone and it's always like something major happened. And this was like the most major possible thing that can possibly happen once we were done. And it's just crazy because it's like he like he went through like last year. It was like, oh, man, he's he's about to die and blah.

And then like he went and apparently got the stem cell stuff done. And the most recent story about it was how great he was doing. And it's weird. Like he dies at 88. And it feels like a surprise, you know. Yeah, because he, you're right. Because I mean, like there was all this talk about him, you know, being, you know, a death store. then all of a sudden, you know, he gets that treatment.

I think it was like in Mexico or something. And then he rallies. He had dementia towards the end. I remember the Detroit Free Press reported on that. But yeah, just, you know, it's weird to talk about him for me and probably for you too because we never really saw him play. And, you know, in the same way, it's kind of weird to talk about Ali. But I feel like I've probably seen more of Ali fighting than I have seen of Gordy Howe playing

but I think that's just the nature of the sports. You watch an old boxing match more than you watch an old hockey game. But from everything I've seen about Gordy Howe, here's the legacy for me. Unparalleled scoring ability in the sense that it took Gretzky coming along to break all those records. And then also just like the sheer brute force. Like imagine if you will. Picture if you will. Picture if you will a guy who could score 800 and 1,000.

won goals in the National Hockey League, but also break your face. Think about that for a second. Think about if that existed today where the single best player in the world in hockey was also its greatest architect of violence. That's just a beautiful thing. You make it sound like he's like this like James Bond bad guy. He's like super smart. Well, he's not European.

I mean, come on. I mean, he's Canadian. He can definitely get to cons flight this year. The thing that gets me about Gordy Howe is, this is like a thing in basketball now where like every dude who played basketball between like 1992 and like, or like 1987 and like 1998, they all think they're better than the Golden State Warriors. But it's like you're not.

Like if the Golden State Warriors went back in time and played the 1988, Los Angeles Lakers, the Golden State Warriors would win by 60 because that's just how sports are. Like as you evolve and move forward, like the example I always give is like Paul Bissinette is like the worst hockey player in the world basically, in the NHL. But like if you dropped him into like 1947 hockey, Paul Bissadet would score 80 goals a season

because he's just bigger and stronger and faster than everybody who played in that. But whatever you see like a picture of Gordy Howe from his prime and like, you know, he's like fishing and he's have a shirt on and you see how big he is and stuff. You're just like, you can be. dropped Gordy Howe to the NHL today at the age of 22, and he would probably score 35 goals a season because he was just so far ahead of his time in terms of his size and his strength. Like, it's like one of those things where, like, you go to like an old house that was built

at like 1847 and like the ceilings are low, the doorways are narrow. And it's like, how did any human being live through here? It's like, well, that's how big people work right then. But Gordy Howe, like he could have played pretty much in any era of hockey up until today. And he would have been, I'm assuming, because I haven't. seen him play, of course, but based on his production and his size, I feel like he could have been the prototypical power for it in the NHL in 2015, you know?

And the other thing about him, too, that was amazing was he kept on play, like his longevity is as much a part of the story as anything else. Yeah. The only player in the NHL history to have played in five different decades. And also, and this is the craziest one, he played for the Hartford Whalers at age 52. And scored 15 goals. Like imagine, imagine that today, too. Like, we go, imagine all of the love and all of the, um, the, the incredible lauding of

Yarmir Yager's longevity for making it to what, 43 is it, 44, whatever it is. And now think of the 52 year old Jamiyager still doing his thing. And that was Gordy. And like, it's, it's hard to. imagine that athlete today, like you said. But God, what a legacy, man. The way I would put it is this. Growing up, if someone said to me, Babe Ruth, I'd think baseball. And if someone said Gordy Howe, I'd think hockey. Like, more so than Gretzky, more so than anybody else that ever played the game. Like Gordy, Gordy how, maybe it's because of the Gordy thing in Canada.

Like Wayne Gretzky could literally be from a guy from Pittsburgh. But like, you know, Gordy. Gordy Howe is just embodied event of hockey. Now, I met him once at a hotel in the lobby, and it was one of those deals where someone's like, hey, look over there, and you look over there, and you're like, hey, it's Gordy Howe. And I'm just like, why? So I just went over and, like, shook his hand.

And I remember his hand being the size of, like, a Ford Explorer. Like, it was just the biggest hand I think I've ever seen in life. But did you meet him ever or no? So at the 2011 All-Star game, I was there at NHL.com and I got a sign to cover the fan fest in Raleigh. And if you've ever been to a fan fest as a fan, it's awesome. Like there's like autographs and the cups on display and you can like, you know, fire a puck at like two kids from like the local college who are getting like eight bucks an hour to take slap shots and the nuts for first eight hours. and like, you know, there's rides and there's music. It's so much fun.

But if you're there to write about it, it sucks. It's just the worst because it's just, you know that no matter what you write, no one's going to read it. No one, no one, as great as the experience is for Kevin from, you know, 10 miles outside Raleigh to come there and hang out and meet blah, blah, blah, nobody cares. And it's just like when you go there to do that story, like you have to bother people who are like there to have fun and be like, hey, my name's Dave, I'm from NHL.com. You got a couple minutes to just talk about the whatever you're doing.

here. And people are always great about it. They're always super nice about it. But I always feel like I'm bothering people. So I'm wandering around the fan fest and I'm trying to like just like find something. Just like find something interesting to put at the top of the story and just get it done and go back to the hotel and have dinner or whatever. And I think Nick Generalie, who was working at the NHL at the time, I think he's still there. He just saw me kind of wandering around. He's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just looking for something to write about. I need a story. and he's like, oh, you know Gordia Howe's going to be here? And I'm like, why would Gordia Howe be in Rodney Brook, Carolina for an All-Star

for the 2011? Like, he is, I mean, he's not from here, right? Like, did I miss, like, a huge part of his life? And he's like, no, he's signing autographs and he's going to be in this room in a little while, but he's kind of running late. And I noticed that the room, it was basically, like, set up kind of like a town hall kind of meeting, and there was, like, a bunch of, like, folding chairs. It was like a press conference that we would do where it was, like, you know, two

rows of chairs on each side, like 10 rows of seats. and there was like a line down the middle of it and it was just out the ass it was the longest line I've ever seen like there was lines there to like he had a photo with the Stanley Cup there were lines to like play games and like shoot the puck on kids or whatever and the line for Gordia Howe was just crazy and so he gets there and he's like maybe like 10 minutes late for whatever reason maybe because he's Gordy Howe and he can do whatever he wants but he gets there and I'm standing there and I'm looking at the clock and I'm looking at my deadline and I know that I'm never I'm never gonna I can't wait this out it's too many people and I'm like I'm like Nick I got to go like I I want to talk to him but like I got to have this done in the next hour and there's 500 people waiting and he's like no I'll bring Gordie over he'll talk to you right now I'm like but I'm like no because I'm looking at the faces of the people who are all waiting to talk to Gordie how he's got unlimited amount of time here I'm not going to drag him away so I can talk to him for five minutes about hey what's it like to be in Raleigh how I'm going to be in Raleigh how great he's going to be in Raleigh how great he's going to be in Rale how great he's going to be in Rale how great he's going to be in Rally how

is the beautiful and he would give probably super nice sweet answers and everything but i just figured at that point i'm like let these people who waited two hours to meet this guy get let let like let gordy get to everybody can get to like i don't want to bother him for five minutes so i was just like no don't worry about it i'm just going to take off so that was the one time i could have met gordy howe gaudy howe was five feet friendly i was watching people take photos with him and stuff and i was just like yeah i don't want to i don't want to interrupt the i don't want to interrupt the flow and interrupt because i would feel bad like if I wasted five minutes and then there was like some eight year old kid or whatever or like a 40 year old got whatever it is got to the front of the line and they were like

Gordy's got to go and it's because of like the four minute window like so I never actually got to see that's that's part of it too like I'm glad you said that because like here's a thing right like as an American fan um who isn't from Detroit or Hartford Connecticut I I kind of feel I don't feel ownership of Gordy Howe. I feel like I didn't watch him play. He's not in my generation. I don't have the association with him like a Red Wings fan would. I'm not Canadian. It's a weird deal where I almost feel like he is a deity in some ways in the fact that like I could touch Gretzky. Like I talked to Gretzky. Like Gretzky's real. Gordy's always been sort of above everything for me in the sense that like he's he's on another plane of existence if that makes

any sense no yeah totally it's just i don't know what the equivalent is it like it's like maybe like johnny united it's ali dude i mean like like mohammed ali or like jo lewis maybe might have been the thing too because like ali ali was also someone that like was a little bit closer to like he fought trevor burbeck and i've seen trevor burbank fight so like it's like maybe that like maybe joe lewis would be the the comparison as far as like like that level of celebrity and and uh you know or babe ruth i mean babe ruth is the obvious example too babe ruth would be the one i would go because like ali like you can go on like youtube and watch ali do how rousseau interviews and like press conferences and like you like i feel like ali there's

way more like video and stuff out there because of because like i mean you know ali was the 60s and the 70s already have baby ruth would be the one because he died before i was cognitive cognizant of sports like micky mannell died when i was cognizant of in a sports. Me DiMaggio did too. But like Babe Ruth again, like synonymous with baseball and like just larger than life. Like a guy who lives in legend,

you know? And I think Gordy's the same way. Yeah. Like I feel like I mean there's been an Ali movie. Like I have not seen a Gordy Howe movie. So like I feel like more of a connection to like what Ali did in his life the more than Gordy how probably just because like there's no like there's no like movie where like

Chris Pratt's playing Gordy How where I can be like oh wow I didn't know that Gordy How how I went through that and his person. Like, I feel like I don't really know anything too much about Cordyhow's personal life. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know anything about, like, his politics or his hobbies or what he did. Like, I pretty much just know Gordon Howe was the greatest hockey player to ever live.

And Muhammad Ali was the greatest of all time. But I know more about Muhammad Ali, the person than I know about Cordy Howe. So that kind of makes it like, yeah, like, it makes it feel like Gordy Howe's like this, like, connection to the past where, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know what you're thinking about Abe Lincoln because there's no video of Abe Lincoln, like, doing stuff. I know what he did while he was president. Like I know what Gordi Howe did as a player. But it's like, it's like Gordy Howe is one of those guys. I feel like he's one of the last people like Babe Ruth where it's just like it's this connection to the past that like you have to have through people that actually saw him play because, you know, you know what?

You can't go on YouTube. Like there's no YouTube video where it's like the top 50 Gordy How goals. And you're just like, you know what I mean? Like it's just it's all legend. And I think that's kind of what makes Gordy Howe so special to like people are age or younger, I would say. I knew about the hat, the beard, the debates with Douglas, and he was a vampire hunter. Wait, Gordy or A, both of them, right? Oh, Abe, yeah.

Well, I mean, I'm pretty sure Gordyhow probably killed a vampire too. Look at the gunned. The arms on that man. He got shit done. He got a guy off. That would be the best thing. Like, 52-year-old Gordy Howe in Hartford, and vampires try to take over. over the Civic Center.

Right. Oh, God. So it's like a combination of sudden death and also like a vampire hunting movie. Like, think about it. Why else would he be in Hartford at the age of 52? Come on. He's got better things to do than play with his kids. Come on.

He was helping the world in ways that we'll never know about is my theory on Gordia. That's the other thing, too, by the way. Like, he has a son who is a Hall of Famer, who I feel like we kind of just forget about because he's Gordia house kid. Most points between a father and son duo in an H. history of those two. It's amazing. I remember like,

Mark Howe, too, was a little bit before my time. Like, I don't remember ever watching Mark Howl play as a kid or seeing highlights. And I remember just, he was always a scout at all the games I go to. And then, like, one day I was just like, holy shit, this guy was a player. This guy, he's a Hall of Famer. Like, why does anybody know about him? It's like, well, you know, his dad's, that's Gordy Al.

I know that. But, I mean, well, he's a pretty big shadow to get him. Yeah. Yeah, good on him and make of the Hall of Fame. Like your dad's Gordy Howe. You don't see, like. whatever, Grattsky's kid played football. He's like, fuck it.

I'm not going to be able to do that shit. Right. Stoop Dog's kid was like, yeah, man, I can't possibly smoke as much weed as you, so I'm going to go play football. Thanks, Dad. Same thing. Well, rest in peace, Gordy Howe. And with that, the epilogue is done.

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So thanks, everybody. We'll be back next week. Rest in Priest, Gordy Howell, condolences to the Howe family, the legendary Mr. Hockey no longer with us. So thanks everybody for listening and we'll talk to you soon.