Puck Soup - Katie Nolan

Episode Date: April 12, 2016

Greg and Dave talk with Katie Nolan of FOX Sports 1's GARBAGE TIME about NHL vs. its fans, Boston vs. New York and Batman vs. Superman.

Hey, I'm Greg Wyshinsky. And I'm Dave Lozo. And you're in Puck Soup. Get it? You're... Oh, Jesus. Thanks, everybody who listened to us on the America versus Wushinsky podcast

on Sportsnet for so long. We've transported the fun to Nerdus Sports, beginning with this episode, featuring Katie Nolan of Fox Sports One's garbage time. Of the Emmy-nominated. Yeah, she's now Emmy-nominated. Very excited about that. Also, YouTube thing, you may remember her from some.

such rants as Greg Hardy is a piece of shit and things of that nature. So we were delighted to have her in as our first guest. It's an episode-long guest shot. Most of our guests, I believe, on Puck Soup will probably last maybe half the show or three, two-thirds of the show or something like that. But, Katie, we had her in studio and we weren't going to let that gold leave the room, so we had her in for the entire episode. Like most of our guests, like think of it like sex.

Most of our guests would probably be 10 minutes, 15 minutes long, and that's good. I mean, let's not pretend like that's not a lot. a long time to go. But if we have someone capable of going the full hour, we're not going to pass a whole. I have to admit, I'm a little hazy on this, because when people talk about going as long as they do, oh, I'm a 10 minute. Does the 10 minutes include

foreplay, or is it just 10 minutes of the actual act? No, I think once something's inserted into something else, that's when the clock starts. The clock starts. It's like in basketball, the shot clock doesn't reset until it hits the rim. Right, or you have to... You have to hit the rim. Or you have to pick up the ball in order to make the clock, the

shot, the clock start. Remember how they roll the ball out from the air right right right right right for play is basically like when there's like 15 seconds left and they're trying to conserve clock and they roll the ball on the guard kind of pretends to pick it up and then then the clock starts and then when it hits the rim boom we're counting down because what is sex if not clock management right so essentially katie nolan's our first guest in the podcast we wanted to do a quick intro when you hear this show uh you'll be hearing us refer to the podcast we're doing now as it's hockey time with gregg and dave which was a very twee an interesting name for the show, but ultimately one that we decided against.

So we felt they needed to do a quick intro to this interview, not only to introduce ourselves to you, the Nerdist Sports listener, and also say thanks to all our old listeners reporting over to the new podcast, but also explaining why you'll hear a different name for the podcast on this interview. Right, and hi Nerdist, goodbye, Mara Kwasinski. Thanks for having me. And also, we should point out that Greg, he came up with It's Hockey Time and then decided he didn't like it. show you how dedicated he is to putting out such a quality product, he had his daughter sing a theme song to its hockey time. Forced her to do it. You should hear the audio because the audio sounds like she's being held hostage and she has to record this. Otherwise, her family will die. And then said,

you know what, we got to do a different title. And we did because that's how dedicated he is to a good product. I promise you if you come back for episode two, we will play the lost theme song of its hockey time with Greg and Dave. When you hear my six-year-old daughter sounding as unenthused as a child would sound if they were going to the dentist. It's very exciting. So anyways, thanks to Jonah Carey for the opportunity to bring our podcast to our podcast over under the sports. Thanks, to Katie Levine for putting this whole thing

together. Thanks, David. Our first podcast and podcast by us in perpetuity. And here, without further ado, it's Puck Soup with our first guest, Katie Nolan of Fox Sports 1 on our pilot episode. And please do say to the end so you can hear Katie Nolan make the single greatest pilot episode

joke in the history of pilots and or jokes. It's going to go down as the best pilot joke you're ever going to hear. Now entering nerdist.com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tools. It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense.

It's hockey time with Greg and Dave. It is hockey time. It is the actual new name of the show. of you who listen to us on the sports net side of the equation, this is the new home. This is the nerdist sports home where we're taking our podcast. For those of you who are

listening for the first time, I am Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy blog. You're supposed to say your name now. Oh, it's not like you're going to keep going. I think you had more credentials. No, I have no credentials. It's like a cliffhanger. What am I going to do? And I'm Dave Lozo of my apartment. There you go. In Hoboken, New Jersey. And this is the hockey podcast

that we do. I'm excited to be a part of the nerdist family. I don't know about you because it definitely increases the chances that Chris Hardwick will do a show talking about this very podcast at least once a week. I want to do a show that's 12 hours long. So at some point during the podcast, he can say it's 1159 and 59 seconds. But the other thing, too, that's what I want to have happen. But I like the idea of, like, there's a show where Reda talks about our show and, you know, comes in. There's callers.

There's, you know, trivia about our show. Oh, like, like a recap. Yeah. He would do the recap of the show. He wouldn't actually be on the show. He'd do a recap and talk about everything. Right, exactly. It happened on the show.

Doug Benson does a thing called microimpressions, and I have a micro impression of Chris Hardwick. You really like to hear it? Do you want to get us kicked off a nerdist? No, I'm trying to get our credentials set that we're part of the family now. You want to hear it. Welcome to the Nerdist podcast. That's it.

That's just the top of the Nerdist podcast. Every time. Thank you. That was really good. Thank you. I don't have one. I'd follow up and try to like one up you, but I don't really have one.

So for those that don't know, so Jonah Carey, who's putting together a nerdosports thing, asked if we wanted to be part of this cavalcade of fun, and we said yes, we had a podcast. Like we said that we aired every Wednesday. A lot of people really like it because it's sort of hockey as a clothesline on which to hang a lot of other bullshit. A lot of people didn't like it because it's hockey as a clothesline on which to hang a lot of other bullshit. Like if you enjoy six minutes of hockey talk, followed my 24 minutes of the analysis of, last night's OJ episode, then this is for you. This is really going to be

your podcast. And by the way, just to let you know, although I've run hot and cold on Kubu Götting Jr. As OJ. Simpson, the moment in which they had him recreate the aerobics video that they used his evidence to show that he was agile and could have pulled off the murders. It's a brilliant show. Amazing. It's a brilliant show.

Absolutely amazing. The first two episodes are bad because they're so swimmer heavy. Because it's just swimmer emoting in really weird ways. It's like, it's almost like he's like, all right, remember that time Rachel did that thing with Mark. Like, just remember that and he sat about it. And he just, like, his jaw trembles, his lip trembles.

I was watching some really early seasons of keeping up with the Kardashians, you know, Ditsick without the beard and Rob was all thin. And they were talking about their dead dad. And I kept on thinking to myself, what do they think now that their dead dad is probably a guy they used to watch on Friends? I think they look into the TV and they just start chanting, Kardashian. Kardashian. Which was an excellent. thing from the show, for the OJ show. That was,

that was one of the, like, the first two episodes are like Shark Nato, and the last seven at this point, or maybe the last eight at this point, are actually good, because it's all the people that can act, as opposed to the guy that played the really stupid paleontologist for 10 years. Exactly. On NBC. So it's really good.

So when you're done listening to this, go watch all the OJ episodes, so you're caught up on all of our really cool references. I know that the blood is everywhere because obviously OJ is guilty. I can't walk away now. I can't. hockey credentials, I'm a Devils fan. You grew up a Devils fan, but you're like a lapsed Catholic when it comes to the Devils, right?

I don't give... Wait, can we curse it on their podcast? Yeah, we can, yeah. I don't give a Flying Frogs fuck about the Devils. Or really any team. I don't care if your favorite team wins or loses, I'm just there to watch a hockey game. That's really good, as opposed to Devils games, which are always never interesting or fun. Well, I still live and die by my team, and I still believe that, depending on whether or not I drink a, a,

cup of pink lemonade at night and spent around three times, determine whether or not they win or lose the game, just like when I was 13. You're deranged. Pretty much. You're a father of a child who believes that he controls the outcomes of sporting events from his couch. That's totally normal. You should teach your children well. There's a very good chance you could grow up

to be like Akira then, you know, trying to tap into her psychic powers and control things. Akira? Oh, God. Let's not talk. You mean Shakira? No. Can she do that? Last time I mentioned anime. Joining us now on the podcast and our pilot episode is... Oh, I've been here the whole time. Someone that we love.

Just walking in the door right now. Oh, my God, who is it? Oh, whoa. Just silently sitting and holding back my OJ takes. Wait, so I believe it's our wacky neighbor, Katie Nolan from Fox Sports One's garbage time. Hey, guys. You guys have a cup of sugar I can borrow?

No, but why don't you stick around for the next 40 minutes? Golly. Sounds good. What's going on in here? A hockey podcast? As long as it's only four minutes of hockey talking. Oh, man. 36 of 20 math.

Forget it. Hi, guys. The setup of every porno I've ever watched. woman walks in during a hockey podcast. More to most of my porn is from Canada, by the way. You made this weird because this room is really small. And I now would like to back away from you, and I can't. Yeah, Katie Nolan's a big star, and I want to apologize first for putting you in what is essentially the utility closet of Yahoo.

That's where they put the microphones, though. Compared to my studio, the adjective I would use for this is roomy. So I'm cool with it. My studio is very small. Katie Nolan, you do a podcast called Garbage Time. What kind of studio do you use for that podcast? Well, so it's actually like a converted reception area of an abandoned, office building, and so

it's big in space, like, it's spacious, but it also, like, we use clip mics, and we don't know what we're doing. You use what kind of mics? Clip, like, little, like, clip them on your shirt. Yeah. Oh, they're impossible to find. It's a woman's sports show. Yes, they

are impossible to find. The reception area, huh? So do you always have multiple lines ringing at all times? No, but the elevator dings constantly while we're just trying to talk about anything but sports. Katie Nolan, I was surprised to find out from Dave Lowe's today. I was always, for whatever reason, under the impression that you were probably a rangerous family.

Why the fuck would I be a ranger? I don't know. I just assumed you. The kind of celebrity that would go to MSG, they'd show you on the big screen like Adrian Grenier or like the dude that died from the Eagles. Like many, many famous people. He died and then they showed him on the, what was he? Is this like a weekend at Bernie situation? Yes.

Somebody just brought his lifeless corpse to a rangers game. There's two guys in the tip throw. propping up his arms, like flapping them around to make sure that no one was suspicious. Does he want to play for the Bruins? The Eagles or the Eagles? Like, was it Randall Cunningham? Because he's still alive.

The Eagles are the Eagles. Right. He's not dead, actually. It was Reggie White. He's doing, oh, my God. Yeah, it was terrible. Oh, God. No, Glenn Frye, right? Glenn Fry would always be at the Ranger games, wouldn't he?

And he died, didn't he? He's dead? He did die. Yeah, he died recently. Yeah. Before the last Rangers game he went to, he did pass. Yeah, remember that moment in pop culture, where everybody's like, oh, man, I can't believe again.

Bowie! Yeah. It was one of those, like, Farah Fawcett got, was it her that got overshadowed by Michael Jackson the next day? Like, nobody ever really mourned Farah Fawcett because it was like, oh, Farrah Fawc. Michael Jackson died! So, poor thing. Rip, rip to both of them. Take a few minutes right now.

Yeah, for Glenn Fry and Farah Fawcett. Poor little out. Boy, Farah Fossett. In slow motion running down the beach. Wait, that was Boder Fawc, wasn't it? Yeah. Well, Farah Fawcett was an angel, a Charlie's angel. And now she's a real angel.

Angel up in heaven, looking down on us. Boy. Having sex with Glenn Fry on the reg. That's some hot heaven gossip I got from my friend Gabriel. Right, until she hears over the intercom. Angels, you're needed. Then they have to all assemble. Well, at least the dead ones.

Are they all dead? No, Kate Jackson can't be dead. I don't know who the other one was. Dating yourself. I don't get why Farah Foster would have sex with Glenn Fry if David Bow is right there. I don't get why the bottom of that coffee is chunky. You can put that right over there.

All right. Thank you so much. Good job, Pret. It was Pratt, right? If you throw up during the podcast, we're going to use it. Just chunks of coffee. But you were a Bruins fan. How did you come about to find the love of hockey in your heart?

My brother played. I played growing up, but as anybody who plays hockey knows that playing hockey isn't cheap, you've got to buy a ton of equipment. So I used to wear my brother's hammie-downs when I was a little kid. And then when it got to a point where his hammie-downs didn't fit me anymore, and I would have to buy my own equipment, my parents would be like, so dance! How do we feel about dance?

Do you want to dance instead? Let's dance. So then I stopped. You were a Bruins fan during a time when it wasn't cool to be a Bruins fan because I feel like when they won the cup and maybe a little bit of time before that, then everybody in Boston discovered there was a hockey team again

or got over themselves because they were angry about how the team was managed. So was it not like where were the Bruins in the pecking order when you were... They were on there. They were pretty much close to up. I didn't know that yet because I was but a mere child. Right. But yeah, it wasn't awful. It felt not great, but winning the cup was pretty sweet. And so now we're in this weird spot where we refuse to admit we're rebuilding. We don't want to rebuild. We'd like to make it to the playoffs. But we've lost what, seven or the last eight, nine out of the last ten. Are you back to being fourth now? I mean, Patriots obviously, King of the Mountain, you know, deities.

Yeah. Red Sox, Celtics, I don't know where they are right now in the pecking order. I know the Celtics will be climbing because the Celtics basically have my team. the Brooklyn Nets first round picks for the next 20 years. You're at Devils. Mets, Jets, Nets, Nets, Devils. Oh, wow, the Devils really throw that off. I wish there was a hockey team called, like, the regrets. That would be perfect for you.

Nets, nets, nets. Yeah, the devils are always sort of like when you're hurting for money and you buy a lottery ticket each week. And you're like, maybe this year, it's a good chance. I can at least get that 50 bucks for hitting the little special ball. I don't want to hear this bitching. I mean, not for nothing. The Devils have how many Stanley Cups when you were in your youth and your prime? Also, they beat my team.

Last week. Like four, five, six, seven, maybe eight or nine days ago. Also, something like a couple days, definitely not last night. More than one day. Is this where the New York Giants fan tells me that I should feel shame for having my teams? Like the NFL literally just hands you a championship every few years. They're like, you guys, the Mara family seems lonely. Let's just give them something.

The Patriots hand them the Super Bowl. Hand us. Or they can't knock it away when it's like right on the top of the helmet. It's like right there and you can't just... That's fun. I'm so glad. It was really cool seeing both of you. Thanks for coming in. Fuck off. And I'm going to go now. I have shit to do. I have a television show. No, but seriously, as a devil's fan, you had 95. I was there too for that. 95.

2000. Great run. O3. And as recently as four years ago, you were in the Stanley Cup final. Yep. So maybe just quit your whining. Well, you're missing 2001 where we did some charity work and allowed Ray Bork to finally win a cup because he, you know, obviously he was in Boston and would never win. Wasn't there a Billboard in Boston thanking him as well after that? So they're probably like fourth now in the pecking order. Behind the Celtics again?

Yeah, I'd say it goes back and forth because the Celtics did admit they were rebuilding. We got Brad Stevens, who's dope and he's doing a pretty good job. So I think we're on, they're on the up and up. Mm-hmm. The Bruins, what the... Would you say the Bruins, the Boston's a town... I mean, Boston, obviously, a town that loves winners. I mean, you couldn't find a Patriot fan during the 80s, but the...

This is cute. Now he just drops a little bit. It seems like there's always a finite number of Bruins fans. They explode exponentially when the team is successful. I disagree. Does the tide progress? Is it regress all? I completely disagree.

Boston is, we don't have, like, uh, Like, we don't have college sports, really, other than hockey. Like, we don't have another really passionate fan. We have a very passionate hockey fan base. I'd say, like, Chicago, Boston. Yeah. New York is, the Rangers, I'd say the, you're describing the Rangers fan base. That nobody really goes to Rangers games until they're like, oh, we good, we're good.

Everybody goes. They fill up the, but no one cares, like, in the city until mid-April. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. But, like, Boston, I do feel like. The Rangers and McDonald's, like, you know, you know how, like, McDonald's always starts like getting a little panicky and closing stores and trying to rethink

their product and yet their sales are always like a hundred gazillion dollars every year because people will go there regardless the Rangers are that the Rangers are people though will go there regardless like they can be the worst team in hockey for 15 years and it's still going to be a bunch of guys giving their little suit friends tickets to go to the games I went to a devil's bruin's game very recently all right and I saw children like a lot of children at the game and it was it's been a really long time since I've been to a hockey game and and seeing that many kids because in Boston, when you do well, the tickets go up.

Same thing with, like, the Red Sox. It's kind of a shame that you don't see as many kids of the games because it's so expensive to bring your kids. And so it was nice to go to a shitty team's game and see how many children were able to come and enjoy it because tickets were $12. Right. So what you're saying is, as a Boston fan,

it's really tough for you because all your teams are winners. Yeah. No, I'm saying it was nice to go to, like, a team that sucks and know that you'd be able to enjoy the, Youth. And really, there's nothing. There's nothing more inspiring than to see little kids running around

with the mark of the beast on them. You know, indoctrinate them. Yeah, true. And also, like, I like that when, you know, the music that you guys play is all, like, Fettywop and everything you would expect at a New Jersey hockey game. I walked in like, I actually don't know what vibe I'm getting in here.

It's awesome. It was like, um, it's, um, put your fucking hands up. I'm like, are we at the club? I don't, I don't understand. Nothing gets the crowd more hype at a hockey game than, Baby, baby, what you come on? That was amazing. Thank you.

Wow. Every time I put my hands over my face like this, so I can do a myriad of repressions. Bain? Bain. Yeah, of course. As you know, everybody does the bane. You got a bane?

I do have a bane mistake. What a lovely, lovely voice. You just do it Jimmy Stewart with your heart. Well, that's the everything, too. Those are those panels. New listeners to the podcast will also learn that while I do it, a variety of impressions, it's only about nine of them, and it's just different variations of those nine.

For example, the example I always give, Kermit the Frog, and my George Lucas, I don't know if Jar Binks is really the character that we want to malign in this film. There's a lot to love. Fun fact, you could also probably do a Jason Gay with that. That's true as well. He's got a similar Kermit the Frog.

Little variations of a theme. What's your best impression do you have one? I don't have. I'm really bad at impressions. Really? Yeah, but my producers insist on always doing, everyone on our staff has a Ringo star, impression. Oh.

It's just like a, it's the common bond we share. It's our breakfast that stuffy knows. It's like a slow motion, like, like, but only when he talks about, only Ringo start talking about, uh, what disc he prefers. If it's CD or Davy. That's all we. Oh, Ringo, what are your thoughts on CD versus Davidy? It's got to be, uh, little stuffy and, like, but also the, it's the emphasis on the other

saloval. Yeah. Yeah. The member of the Beatles. Oh, there it is. There it is. Welcome to, so you now officially work for garbage time. Welcome to the team.

It's great to be on board. Yeah. That's a great, that's a great interview. It's just like you walk in. You have everything prepared. You have like, your resume is 75 pages long. Give me your Ringo star. Right now, do it.

Do it. I only do a McCartney. Oh, get your ass out of here. Here are ESPN material. Wait, so in Boston, when you were a kid. Uh-huh. We're jumping all over the place. I love it.

No, I want to, so. That's the show. I like it. Sorry, everybody. Like, I know people from Boston who, who loved, like, Steve Grogan when they were a kid. But, like, did anyone even care about the Patriots until, like, 02? Right?

Yeah. But, like, the Bruins. People have always loved the Bruins. It's an institution in Boston. Yeah. And as a hockey player yourself. Yes, well, that's a fact, we're saying. Right.

Sure. Who nearly made the New York Riveter's roster. That's right. I can't tell you how close she was to making the team. To set it up for those at home, Garbage Time did a segment in which Katie played goalie for the national. No, not goalie. No, no.

You played Tish in front? So then I would have died. You were just up front. You were a forward. She was a sniper. I was on the ice for about five minutes. Why did they put you... Like literally on the ice.

On the ice. I laid down on the ice. So I hadn't skated in a really long time. And we were supposed to get an hour or like 30 minutes of warm up so I could like get my sea legs. And then we didn't because production, you know, anybody who's worked on a TV show knows that you have a schedule. And then just fuck that schedule. You're just everything goes wrong. And so he didn't have any time.

And at the end of practice, when these girls are like, like waiting to leave, women, sorry, these women are waiting to leave. I get out on the ice and they're like, okay, let's hurry this up. And I'm like, oh, okay, I guess I'll just try to shoot the puck. And then fell on my, like, I hadn't skated in years. It was a shame too. Because honestly,

like, she probably would have been on the team. For sure, for sure. She would have gotten like 20 minutes of warm up time. Yeah, all I needed was 20 more minutes. That's the difference between making a complete fool of yourself. And being a professional women's hockey player, 20 minutes. That's right. You're stipend. Yeah.

What did you think of the Women's League? The jerseys for the Riveters were some of the best hockey. Hockey jersey straight, full stop. Hockey jerseysies in the world right now, the Rosie the Riveter logo. What did you think of the Women's League? Awesome. Yeah. They're great.

And they were so nice. And I thought they'd be like, why are you here? Like, why are you making a joke of our league? And I was really conscious of that because that's not what we wanted to do. We wanted to show people how great the league is and how awful I am at sports. And I think we achieved that. We got that goal reached. But, you know, sometimes you worry that you're going to do something

and someone's like, wow, you're making fun of us. But the women were so nice and, like, taught me how to fight and, like, okay, threw me on the ice and punched me. And you almost killed her. With my skate, by accident, by accident. It's just a natural habit that when I get thrown onto the ground, and I, like, kick my legs up in the air, and then I realize afterwards you have a sharp weapon attached to the bottom of your feet,

and you might have just kicked someone in the jugular, caused her premature death. It would have sent a good message, though. I was like, look, you want to fight me. Yeah, I'm going to slice you. I'm from Boston, so I'll just slice you. I have ginsu feet. What?

So, Lozo and I are mostly men. I was wondering what your thoughts were about. Is this up for debate? Because I love to spend the next few minutes debate now. I mean, the genetic tests haven't come back. What qualifies us? Technically, I've never fought in a war. Well, in fairness, we might have been born at the wrong time.

Wait, no, we weren't. There were totally wars for like the last 20 years. Yeah, what are you talking about? I think we might currently be at war. But they were hard to get involved with them. They didn't get picked. Like, you know, kickball. They used to pick people in kickball and make them go to war.

This time it was much more voluntary, and we had other things to do like NES. I was so busy that day. Honestly, if I, you know how you have a schedule and you want to keep that schedule, then schedule it goes crazy. Like, if I could have just gotten to the draft office 20 minutes earlier, I would have been the best soldier in the world. You think so? This is good.

This is a good thing. This is a callback to earlier in the show. To three minutes ago. So that's pretty bad callback. Let's move on. I would have been like a pre-super soldier serum, Steve Rogers. except fat is how I would have been probably. Oh, I thought you were wearing a Captain America shirt,

but you're wearing a Winnipeg Jets shirt. Similar. It's a hockey podcast. That's true. Sorry. And you're wearing, you know, the front office Gary Bettman look. My point is in calling...

Thank you. Oh, and I was wearing a hoodie, too. It isn't. It just looks like it. Is it not? It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's nice, though. Put a bird on it. Fuck you. It's just a sweatshirt. Put a bird on it. Um, oh, I was going to ask you though, Katie,

was so, like, all right, as a woman Oh Christ How do you feel that league should be marketed? Like do you think that they need to go Like what aren't they doing right now To crack the proverbial glass ceiling made of ice

That is marketing the NWHL to women Speak for all women right now Go Yeah I know right I don't know I'd say on the surface of it They have to start out small So there's what four teams in the league

And I think that it's okay for them to not maybe come out fully trying to make the push right now with four teams. I think that would be hard to get national interest in a four team league. But I think if they start small, they do what they're doing. Danny Ryland, the commissioner, is a great face for that league. She's well-spoken. She's nice. She's beautiful, not that it's relevant.

But she's super talented. And the way she speaks about it, and when she talks about how, like, women should be paid to play sports and it's not that complicated is actually really engaging. aging to listen to. You're saying in juxtaposition with Gary Betman, someone you'd like to hear, talk. So Gary Bettman, also beautiful

but not so well-spoken or talented. For a man is age. No, yeah, I would look at that face for I would tap that. Yeah, I would just the discomfort in your face having to say that sentence.

No, no, no, I mean, I would hit that. Is tap not the word anymore the kids use? Is it hit? I don't know. Is it smash? I think it's Smush.

Destroy. Smush. I think, was that Jersey Shore? Wait, is that why they called them Smush Parker? I don't know. Betman's a bit of a grenade. There you go.

God, Batman's a fucking list. As far as commissioners go, like to finally have a, it's the first commissioner I've ever seen or met, then I'm like, well,

I guess, you know, I like Adam Silver. But, like, she's great. She's nice. She actually cares about her players. And you worry, too, that, like,

when a league gets too big, obviously you have to lose a little bit of that. But I think if they grow at the right pace and then they make the push, I think they have a real chance to be successful.

I like Adam Silver a lot as a commissioner. Because I feel like the NBA can kind of be a chaotic place sometimes. And I always feel like, like, Dad's got this. Yeah. If there was a flat tire on the interstate, like Adam Silver could probably change it. Yeah.

Whereas Roger Goodell would be like, it's not flat. We're fine. Just keep driving. Keep driving. Hit that woman. That's how Goodell commissions his league. And Bettman will be like, maybe we should stop the car for a couple months and never started again until somebody pays us to come fix this tire.

Exactly. I'm not afraid to sit here for a real long. long time. This is good. Do baseball. Do baseball before you. I don't have enough about management yet. Mr. Batman, what's wrong with the car?

Why is it stalled? Ask the players why it stalled. We should talk to the people who made the cars. Talk to the tires. See why it doesn't want to run. I told it to run. Do you think, and stick, because again, I'm not trying to, you know, it's rare that we have women in this room, to be quite honest with you.

Or any room. That's true. Oh, my goodness. So much Star Wars talk. The, the, the, do you feel like, as a hockey fan, that the NHL does a decent job marketing to women or not marketing to women or they don't know that women like hockey

because I feel like that sometimes is the case. The tough thing is because I'm a football fan as well, I'd almost rather the way the NHL does it. And if they're not doing like, oh, we're doing ladies night, come by, free manicures, we'll give you one martini

and then you'll be sexually harassed for the entire game in the stands. Oh, you've been to a Jets game. Yeah, like, oh, have a pink jersey, we'll charge you a ton for it, $1 of each jersey goes to breast cancer. Like, I'd rather them not pander.

If the NHL just ignores and just treats fans as fans, that to me is better. That's doing the... Remember the Corey Perry thing last year? The Winnipeg Jets game? The fans were chaining

Katie Perry at it. Someone called Gary Betman on it like a couple weeks later and he was like, oh, just calling him a woman's the same thing as calling someone a sieve. It was like... No, not so much.

It's actually a little bit different. Like, I just... Gary Betman... I mean, like, Roger Goodell feels like he's intentionally evil. Yeah. I feel like Gary Betman's, like, unknowingly. Just a dumbass. He's just a dumbass.

He's just like an old dude who just doesn't get it while Roger Goodell is like a robot trained to take the life out of women. Right. And just hates the world. The thing that's crazy to me is the amount of money these men make. It's not that hard to very quickly be taught how to say the right thing. Right. Just look at one person next to you of the 90 who get paid to work on your staff and say, hey, someone asks me. me about this Katie Perry, Corey Perry thing.

What should I say? That's it. And then when someone says, oh, well, just say that you respect women, the league respects women, and you can't be responsible for all fans, but that you're disappointed in their actions. That's it. Very easy. But no. Calling a woman, calling them a woman is basically like saying you're a fucking sissy. They need that, they need that

White House, they need that White House press secretary, Gene where they're like, you know, is the president aware that there's a box of plutonium that spilled out in a lake in the middle of New York? New York, and then the guy's like, well, the president's very concerned about boxes and their construction. Yeah.

So the rest of it, we'll have to. We'll have to look at that. Yeah, it's great. Honestly, as a female sports fan, I've gotten to the point where I'm not even asking for that much anymore. Like, with the whole Greg Hardy thing in the NFL last year, it was like, I get it, you're a bad guy, and you were suspended, and we were supposed to believe you went through these programs and whatever. And then your first day out, two minutes into a seven-minute speech, you're like, guns blazing, I want to fuck Giselle. But he doesn't even call her Giselle. He just calls her Tom Brady's wife, which like, I could strangle you.

You don't even have to remember her last name. She just goes by Giselle. You're the worst. And like, all I'm asking is just fake it better. Yeah. So with the, with the, with the NHL, it's like, yeah, you don't have to beat. I don't want you to go up to every fan and be like, don't chant Katie Perry. Here's why that's problematic.

I just want you to, when somebody asks you about it, and you're the head of the league to not say, yeah, who fucking cares it. That's why I'm asking. I think they chanted that because they can't chant pussy, to be quite honest. I don't know. That's why your Greg Hardy video, I thought, like, channeled a lot of that feeling of, like, just women watching this charade and this just oblivious circus that goes on with some of these leagues and the way, and the way they approach this stuff is, like, you know, like, you know, Jerry Jones or the Mansell stuff. Like, it's, oh, I think he's got, I got that boy's got some talent.

And it's just like, yeah, he's got a real talent according to the police reports. Oh, the talent really decides how bad the actual action is for sure. Someone needs to graph it. I've tried, but I'm not good at math, so it's tough to know exactly what the scale is, but it exists, how good you are versus how much you're worth it. Like, Eli Manning could, like, push a school bus full of kids off of the bridge and, like. Could he? Eh, Eli Manning is, like, the luckiest quarterback ever.

No, you think he's elite. You're wrong, so that's just fact. Yeah, that depends. 35 touchdown passes last year. Is O'Dell Beckham, the bus that'll be able to leap higher than any man can leap to catch those errant passes? Oh, actually, O'Dobaccoon will fly and catch the bus with one hand and put it back on the bridge to save Eli's ass. Without stick of him, Eli Manning ain't shit. Oh.

Now we're calling the question here. Just everybody. That ineptism. I want to pause on something about your, you said about the, I mean, fans are vile. And you bought up a Devils game. And that's the most interesting juxtaposition to me in life right now, is that the devils are trying to recruit this kitty core of young fans to go to the games. games, their parents, and go see the hockey thing. And yet, a scant, like, six

rows above them are the guys chanting, as we've mentioned this podcast before, you know, Rangers suck, flyers, swallow, and Crosby watches. And it's like, how... That's a... That is a picture I just got. I'm going to close my eyes and spend some time with that.

Yeah, there's a lot. There's like a train. Would be the guy who watches. And there's... Oh, God. He's so would be. But there's like... It's a weird time for hockey in the sense that I feel like if there's a scratching and clawing, and we saw this all the emails that were released recently,

scratching and clawing to keep the old school aesthetic of fighting and brutality and blood on the ice and the nastiness when you go to the game and it's rivalry night and blah blah blah, blah, blah. And the entire... Not a terrible idea. By the way. It's like rivalry, Flyers, that's the game we have tonight.

You're in television. Oh, there's so much storyline here. No, there fucking isn't. It's not a rivalry. Your Army Yager spent one year here. Oh, man. And now he's back. What's it going to do? But that's the real thing about the rivalry stuff.

It's like it's really kind of like square peg round hole. Is that the way it's supposed to go? Because round peg square hold, you could probably get it in still. You could force that in. Right. I wasn't really good at Chittonautomy. How do we transition from Sidney Crosby watching the Philadelphia Flyers swallow semen? It's a rivalry night.

I cut you off. No, keep going. So you've got the NHL trying to go back to like the old school hot. Yeah. And it does. Like, I feel like society has shifted. You want to bring your. kid to a game, you don't want to hear about how the flyers are swallowing and Krazies in the

corner. You know, counterpoint, though. I went to games as a kid and I heard all that. Me too. That's why I ended up this way. Exactly. And look at, we've got, we've got, we're standing in a little room broadcasting to the whole

world. We made it. Yeah, I get the, like, sheltering your kids from the, the, the bad stuff. But at the same time, like, it also offers an opportunity for a parent to turn to their son and be like, don't be these assholes when you grow up. Yeah. Like, this, they're chanting Katie. Perry, here's why that's not okay.

Teach your kid that lesson and then enjoy the game. I get that it's a bad environment, but... Quick story. My sister is a Devils fan, and she was a huge Marty Berdor fan, and me and my dad and my sister went to a game, a Ranger Devil game, and Bredor gave up a goal. These Ranger fans in back of us started just, you know, doing what Ranger fans do, and hauling obscenities and calling him, you know,

he sucks and this whole thing, right? Leaving the game early. My sister, who must have been about, 14 at the time turns around to the Ranger fans and just starts going shut the fuck up you shut the fuck up

you shut the fuck up you fucking fuck up I love that you say slut yeah it was a woman and so like me and my dad are both like and seeing seeing his daughter become a woman in front of his eyes

your dad is Scooby-Doo that's crazy and so what then happens as she sits back down is one of the Ranger fans throws a beer at her. They tried to throw a beer at it.

Yeah. Full beer. There's no way. Tries throw a beer at her. Misses her. Hits a guy in front of us. He gets up and it's like the abomination from the Incredible Hulk. Like he's just this gigantic, massive mountain of a man.

It turns around and it turns out this guy is an off-duty New York City detective. So he gets hit with the beer. So those Ranger fans are gone. And this became like, as you said, a teaching moment. Yeah. One, maybe not so much. the language. Maybe we don't slut.

Yeah. But two, just let it be known that eventually, you know, if you mind your own and don't act that way, don't throw the beer, just yell up into the point when you might throw the beer that then you won't hit the abomination and my PD detective and get you out of the game. Or I feel like we're sort of not focusing on the guilt of your sister in this situation because fans were yelling that somebody sucked. Right.

And then really, she instigated... But no, she... Somebody's got to stand up for Marty. She entered... If only somebody would. Excuse me, he does not suck. Actually, he's great. She entered the marketplace of ideas,

speaking her native tongue as a New Jerseyan. And then these people decided to escalate the situation by flooring a projectile at her. The two biggest crimes in that story is the slut shaming and the wasting of the beer. And also the lack of video, because I'd love to see a 14-year-old. I'll be like, shut up, slut, I love Marty.

That would be amazing. The Jersey accent, though. That would now go viral as... Oh, she was so angry. She was really angry. But so I think to your point that people now are so, I mean, I'm not like going down the whole Pustification of America trained, but people are so concerned about, my child went to this game and heard the word shit.

And that I should be able to take my kid wherever I want and shelter him from, it's like germs. You have to expose your kid to them so that they can build up a tolerance to them. Your kid is not going to forever go through life without hearing the word shit. But you can teach your kid that. That person said that, does it make it okay for you to say that? Say that and I'll smack you. I don't know. Maybe that's how you parent.

That's how I would parent. Oh, I like that. Old school, nuns of rulers. Stop being so concerned about what I'm doing. Like, I was at that game, not last night, whenever this airs. I had that jersey. Merry Christmas, everyone, by the way. I don't know.

I was like the devil's brunes game. And I stood up and was like, fuck, put the goal in the Napolessky. It goes, Jesus Christ. I was right there. And people turned around and, like, look, their kids. held them closer. I'm not going to kill your child. Like, I'm sorry.

It genuinely just slipped out of my mouth because of the anger of like, how many breakaway goals? You just missed? I mean, there's at least two. I mean, the game was so long ago that I can barely remember what happened. Mommy, what's a Matt Baleski? Don't worry about it, honey. No. Just like, you know, I get your point, but at the same time.

I agree with you, but I also think that there is a level of parental responsibility that's gone by the wayside. I'll give you the best example that I can. in this world of ours, we have films that involve costume superheroes. Some of these films are for children, and some of these films are a bit coarser. Some of these films, in fact, are rated are.

So if you take your child to see Deadpool, and then your reaction is, I can't believe how vulgar it was, I can't believe if Ryan Reynolds was getting pegged in the movie at one point by his girlfriend. Oh, that happens? Yeah, it does, great. What does pegged mean in that situation?

Pegg means pegged. It's a sex montage. It's a sex montage. Spoiler. What? Yeah. It's a sex. It's a sex.

Huh? Really? So it's... I haven't seen it yet. But is this real life? Yeah, it is. For those who haven't seen it, there's a sex montage in which it shows him and his girlfriend bonding,

and they have sex on every... Bondaging? No, no, no, no, bonding. They have sex on every holiday and celebrate each holiday in a different way. So the pegging joke, sight gag, is National Women's Day. I love that.

That's great. If you take your... Spoiler. If you take your... If you take your kid to that flick And all of a sudden It's rated R Like I saw when I saw Batman v. Superman

Coleman, Dawn and Justice Over the weekend How bad was that? Let's calm down on that for a second. Oh, it was good. Hold on.

Stop it. The, uh, someone had... Don't let him complete a thought. Someone had a toddler there. Like someone literally had a toddler there. That person is a fucking moron. Yeah, so don't, I think there's a,

but they think that it's Superman and Batman so you can bring it. And then, you know, the scene in the movie where like, Oh, don't do it. Bruce Wayne is at his parents' grave. Spoiler, they get killed again. What?

What? I am out of here. Listen, here's how I feel about this film. Okay. I liked it. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who didn't. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who would say that they've made every possible bad choice

they could in the making of the film. I wouldn't begrudge anyone saying that they should scrap the entire DC cinematic universe and start over again. They should just make Marvel, too. You may a second Marvel. Marvel, an alternate universe Marvel for DC. Yes, please. I liked it.

I have to admit. I like Affleck. Here's the thing about it. One of the things that people don't like about these characters is that they're like, well, Superman would never do that, and Batman would never do that. I'm like, there's your fictional characters. No one walked out of there will be blood being like, well, Daniel Plainview would never make a reference to milkshakes because he's lactose intolerant. But there are fictional characters who, because of the amount of movies and books and they've taught us,

this is their storyline. And then you can't take their storyline and go, fuck all that shit we saw the years ago. You totally can. You totally can. You can't. You can take the character wherever you want to do. Batman's killed me before. Christopher Reeve's Superman threw three supervillains down a giant crevasse

in the Fortress of Solitude and Kill Them. So you don't get to get Superman fans and Batman fans' money by putting their name on it. If you want to make a blank versus blank, sorry, blank V blank, colon, a couple other words. If you want to make that movie and have to make that movie and have to make. them not act like Batman or Superman and not abide by the rules of their own origin stories, then just pick two brand new superheroes. Make up two more. There's a huge market for that.

Why can't we just be like, oh, well, Batman would never kill anybody? Well, this one does. Well, Batman would never use a gun. Well, this one did to kill someone. It's just the one guy. No, it's different. Ben Affle doesn't get to reinvent Batman. Sure he does.

But Adam West is not Christian Bell. Like, they're all different characters. Oh, my God, you're so, you've never been more wrong in your life. So we're still have time left. Imagine going to see a James Bond movie. And, like, James Bond movie just started, like, murdering children. And you were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, he can do whatever he works. He's a fictional character.

That's Bruce Brosnan's imagination of that's how he likes to act. He's James Bond. It's not his James Bond. It's our James Bond, and you will assimilate or you're out. Imagine go to a James Bond movie and finding out that he actually grew up in a giant country mansion with a caretaker who can booby-trap the place like Home Alone when the bad guys come. Oh, that's right. It's called Skyfall.

They did reinvent part of the character in Skyfall. Oh, no. And in the next one, they made Blofeld his childhood best friend. Like, it was Muppet Babies. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not start disparaging Muppet babies in my presence. Maybe we leave the Muppet. Maybe you keep Muppet Baby's name out your mind.

This little baby, Blotfeld. You just see Nanny's feet next to them. But here's the thing. So I have not seen the epic film Superman, the Batman, Cullen, Dawn of Justice. But, but in what? In what world does the superhuman alien lose to the rich guy? I don't, I need you to explain.

Are they on a planet with a red sun? Like, how is this possible? Is there kryptonite involved? How could it even be close to even matched? I mean, of course there's kryptonite involved. The only way you could beat Superman. But yeah, I'm not going to give away anything, but I'll say this. It's based on the fight between the two and the Dark Night Returns.

Oh, so it's referencing an old thing that did happen to your... It's referencing a Frank Miller thing. Yeah. And it's there is kryptonite involved. And the reason Batman would always beat Superman in their Batman v. Superman battles is that he's smarter. He'd outsmart him. Superman's just kind of dumb. He's kind of dumb.

He doesn't need to get close to him where the kryptonite is. Ah, but therein lies the problem. Like, melting him with his eyes means that Superman would kill. And Superman... You just said he could kill. Superman cares more about humanity than any other superhero. And that's why people were so pissed off at the end of Man's feel. You're using the Superman narrative that fits your argument at the moment.

You just said earlier, he can kill and throw people down a cravary. I don't like the guy who plays Superman. Henry Cavill? I'm out on him. Here's the problem with Henry Cavill, and present company excluded. Henry Cavill is losing his hair at a rapid rate, and it's very distracting because Superman, you expect him to have a giant quaff. Superman would never lose his hair. Right, he can't because it's all...

Superman would have to shave his face to keep his hair from growing all the way down it because he has so much hair. In Superman 4... He'd have to shave his forehead of like, I can't help it. In Superman 4, Cole, in The Quest for Peace, they actually had a strand of Superman's hair holding up a giant anvil. in a museum because that is how much tensile strength it had. So if he loses his hair, it would like fall to the ground and probably crack the earth.

Yeah, this is a good story. This is, yeah. This is getting into like Kevin Smith territory of like what Superman couldn't do like impregnating a woman. Like the whole thing where like, you know, his organization would blow out the back of her body or whatever. How's Eisenberg?

He's great. I don't. You see, a lot of people are like that. He's basically playing, he's basically playing. In every movie. he's in, he's playing, Jesse Eisenberg, he's playing whoever he's like. He's playing Mark Zuckerberg if Mark Zuckerberg tried to do a Heath Ledger impression.

He makes it hard for me to suspend disbelief. Like, I am immediately aware of the fact that he's acting. I'm not like, oh, wow, that's Lex Luther. I'm like, oh, wow, why's the Facebook guy here? With no spoilers attached, I will say that his plot to get Superman to V Batman, V.M.

Right up in his... Viam and his P. Is Vee? Is Vee? But his V and his P. I will say that his plan to get Batman to V, is really psychotic. This movie's got some darkness to it. So Eisenberg didn't write the film. I don't know if anyone told you.

He didn't come up with that himself. It doesn't actually get to be in his merit column. I didn't realize that. I thought I was watching a documentary. It's not like, hey, Jesse, bring whatever you got. We're just going to let you be Luther. Yeah, no. Wonder Woman's great.

She has a really... Hashtag feminism. She has a rock and guitar theme, which I thought was a bold choice. And actually, the only time my theater... My theater hated the movie, I think. And, like, the only time they came to life was when she showed up for the big fight at the end. It's already spoiled in the trailer. And then there was made...

It was a weirdly balanced movie because all of the humor happened in, like, the last half an hour. The rest of the movie is, like, this dire... There's, like, Senate hearings and shit about Superman. And, like, all the funny stuff and Wonder Moment showing up, all happens last hearing. So you walk out kind of like, oh, that was all right. And then the first, you know, three-quarters of the movie and say, actually, should have left. That's in the entire post-movie. It's him saying, well, actually, he can do whatever he wants, because...

Because in this canon, what they're using is, I don't want to go see a movie. It's poetic justice. And so actually, they're allowed to do whatever. You're that guy on Twitter. It's poetic. It's poetic license. It's not poetic justice. That means that someone would get their just desserts.

I just listen to Nick Lamar on my way here. Yeah. Oh, stars. I don't know. My Neil de Grass, Tyson sounds a lot like my... Every other black guy. Yeah. Black Doctor for the Simpsons.

That's good. You should really investigate that. I really should. You should take some time unpacking that with yourself. But my favorite thing about the Batman, the Superman, Cole and Don Justice movie was imagining that Affleck's character was, in fact, his same character from Gong Girl. And that's, like, post-Gong-girl return, he's rich off the money of the book he's sold. He gets the whole thing. And now he's just decided to fight crime because, you know, she drove him that crazy.

That's my theory. Bitches, man. Fuck everything. They, A, B, tripping. B, shopping. And C, fuck everything. Right. And nothing but hos and tripping.

as well, from what I've heard. Oh, yeah, we ain't nothing, but... So, um, so hockey, huh? So real quick back to hockey. Speaking of hat tricks. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Last hockey thing I wanted to ask you, Katie,

you know, on this hockey podcast was you were a goalie growing up. No, I wasn't. Why? You wore goalie gear. No, I didn't. What are you talking about? You were never a goalie.

No. When, why were you never a goalie? Why do you think I was a goalie? Well, I think it's because you wore your brother's gear, and I just assumed that meant, like, goalie gear. Why would you assume? assume that? I meant like elbow pads, we obviously call it a kit.

Oh, oh, I'm so sorry. No, I don't call it a kick. A soccer team? Is we talking about soccer right now? As a hockey player, who in the league do you respect? Who do you love? Who are the players that you enjoy watching in the National Hockey League today? Non-Brewins. Non-Brewins. I'm big on Ghost Bear right now. Mainly because, I mean, A, he's

fucking great. Great player. Every game I watch, I'm like, that was an amazing play by him. There isn't a single game that I'm not, like, impressed by something he did. I don't remember who they were playing. Remember when he like dove to keep the puck in the zone? That was fucking incredible. Detroit? I think.

Yeah, over time with that game. Yeah. But also his name is a combination of two emojis. And I think that everyone's name should be a combination. Like yours would be wish, so maybe like a star. It'd be like a star. I don't know what, in ski. Oh, yeah, yeah.

They have the in one. It says in. And then also a skiing. Oh my God. Wow, that was easier than I ever would imagine. I know. Yours would be a clown minus the B plus an L. It's easy.

It would be a down arrow for low. Yep. And then the Zoh. I'm a picture of Alonzo Morning's face. Yeah. That emoji exists, actually. Does it? Does it?

Do you have an emoji name too? No. Nolan would be the word no. The word no, I guess. And then maybe a land. Right. No, or like a... Jeremy Lynn's face.

Yeah. Land. Or maybe an L-A-N connection. Like a server. Like a laptop. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That should be an easy emoji.

They don't have a talk. Oh, yeah, but you can get on L-A-N Network one. Yeah, they do. They have so many that, like, oh, I'm glad you have seven different computers because I couldn't just get the point across with the one. This podcast has been a lot of us complaining about stuff. The world sucks. I find it a challenge.

Everything is bad and dumb. I find it a challenge to find emojis that I need to find in order to express myself. You know, and that's why the eggplant has become the most, I think, valuable emoji when it comes to sexing. I was unaware that was a penis until I think you tweeted it about. something that was like related to some of like i had a dollar for every time i said i was unaware that was a penis what would you like me to do here because i i thought only mine i had a dollar for every time i said i didn't realize the eggplant was a penis right like i'm always like why is my purple penis so weird but then you find out there's an emoji for it and you feel like more welcome

i did tweet something about it but i don't remember what it was but i forget what it was too i remember like looking and it was like oh that's that's what that is yeah yeah and peach means either like but or vagina i'm not sure actually do you know what's the vagina emoji It might be a peach. You do know. You're on Tinder. It's the, it's the flower. Oh, that's beautiful, Dave.

Which flower? There's so many fucking flowers. All of them. And they all look different, just like vaginas. Every flower is wildly different. Katie Nolan, the last thing I want to ask you, though, is since Ghost Bear is one of your favorite players. Oh, one of the guys in the league I respect and enjoy watching. Okay, but he's a flyer. So as a sports fan, can you separate hatred of a team and celebrating a player?

You can. It's gotten easier now. I work in sports because it's very hard to just like be angry at an entire team. The only team I feel very comfortable disliking and I feel like it's warranted are the Dallas Cowboys because I've been attacked by their fans and also their owners a dip shit and I just in general I feel okay hating them. But I'll still watch. I can watch a game if they're playing a team that I want to watch or like a game with fantasy implications and not be angry at them. Kind of. But like...

No, that's true. Yeah, that happens. When I was a kid, I literally, when I was like 16, would wish that Mark Messier would die. Yeah. I literally wanted him to die. And now, like, I go to Ranger games, I cover games. I sit next to him in the press box. He's a really sweet man.

Yeah. He's a nice guy. Now if he died... I used to hate the Yankees. I hated them. I still do. Fuck Derek Jeter. Fuck Ori E.

Oh, you're saying my song. Now it's like, well, whatever. Derek Jeter was great, you know, R-E-2-E-C-T-T-Hem. I R-E-2 P-E-C-T him very much. He's a very good writer. I retubecked him so hard. When he retired and like, he, his last at bat was in Fenway against my team,

but it was still like, wow, that was really cool for you. What a retupeckful moment. I will be the one to say that I, I disagree with both of you. Like, if you're a player that I like. Well, you're on professional. We're fine with that. We like that if you're a player that I like and all of a sudden you're absorbed to the board collective of the New England Patriots,

then you're dead to me. Like I really liked Wells... Because you're petty. You're Tom Petty. I liked Wes Welker before he went there. I've liked a lot of former jets. How's he do now? Is he... He's not really.

Right. I think he's... Yeah. I liked all the former jets that would go there so Belichuk could learn our secrets. That was always a good thing. But then they would be dead to me too. Same thing with the Rangers.

Like when Bruce Driver and John McClein went to the Rangers when we were both young Devils fans, they were dead to me after that. I got Bruce Driver's autograph on a devil's hat when he signed with the Rangers. He was signing all the hats, 33 his new number. But he signed my hat? 23. Did he... No.

No way, really? So he was, they were still good in him. Yeah, yeah. You could have saved him. That's what I mean. So, like, I hate the Patriots. You do. You dedicate a lot of time to tweeting about that.

Yeah. But, like, I can respect that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are very good at cheating. Yeah, that's good. Like, they're, like, it's not easy. And then counterpoint, like, I don't hate the Giants because they don't mean anything to me. I just really don't think twice about them. You know, because they're just, I just feel very like, the who? Oh, that's right.

The New York Football Giants. I'm sure they're still in the league. I don't quite care much. They don't matter much to me. It's fair. That's fair. They really are just there. They're just there.

Yeah, they are. Okay, Jets fan. Well, that's the thing, though. The Jets are a team that evokes emotion, though. Like, when the Jets finally do win a Super Bowl... Speaking of emotions, let's talk about your emotions. Who's your quarterback going to be? Oh, we're still figuring it out.

We've got a lot of receivers and a lot of running backs. We had one last year. You had a big bushy beard, that he trimmed it, and got good again for about two weeks. It's not Beardy McHarvard? He's looking for more money, lo and behold. And who was the one that we bought in? It was, oh, no, we were talking about trying to bring an RG3, but we didn't do that.

No, I don't think we've really figured out the air quotes quarterback portion of the NFL. Yeah, I do want fits. I do it last year. I think we owe it to them to do it one more time. You're going to overpay him, but you have to. You overpay the shit out of Eli over and what's that team's name? They're the football large. NFL

quarterbacks are a worse situation than NHL goalies. Like, goalies get overpaid all the time because there are only like, like, 12 of them worth a damn in the league. And also yours,

not worth a damn, but we sure made him look good at that game I went to whenever that was. Oh, Keith Kincaid? He's so bad. Not our guy. He's so bad.

He's so bad. But, like, in the NFL, you have to overpay quarterbacks or else you're just like, you know, it's always a great feeling when you go into camp, and it's like,

it's like your quarterback options are scrap peep, overpaid, and broken leg. And that's where I think the Jets might be headed. So what are you going to do? All right, well, that's the show for this week. It was sort of a pilot episode edition.

Katie Nolan. Before we let her go. Yeah? Because this is going to be. Let her go. Felt her go. Let's make her take her pants off. I know, right?

It's like. Let's do that thing. It's amazing you were able to do the show bound and gag the way you do. Before we let her go, walks over to the door, locks it. Give us your Stanley Cup. Oh, yeah. Stanley Cup. Give it to us.

because obviously this is running right as the playoffs are starting. Oh, yeah, shit. See, I can't because I won't know who made it. Oh, you're meaning you can't make your home or pick right now. Yeah, I can't say the Bruins are going to win. Right. The Bruins are going to fucking win. Yeah, because by the time, I was thinking about that before.

By the time this airs, the people will know who's in the... Make it easy for you. Do you prefer a Chicago or a Los Angeles in the final? Los Angeles. Do you prefer a Capitals or a Penguins in the final? Penguins. Do you prefer a penguin or a king? Actually, maybe the Capitals, because they're...

They're, they got that fucking, no, yeah, they won't. If the capitalists make it, they won't win because they got the president's trophy. They have that fucking blank. Incredible playoff pedigree of losing every year. Yeah, but also just the president's trophy curse. There's no way they're going to win. Oh, like a little jeepsyker. Oh, you're the president's trophy.

So do you prefer a, so you're wrong with the penguins. Do you prefer a penguin or a king to win the cup? Wait, why are the penguins involved in this game? of... So she was going to win it out of the other division. Nobody, right? It's going to be the Caps Penguins' winner that ascends to greatness, won't it?

What about Tampa? Yeah, whatever. Fuck Tampa. You moron. Get off my podcast. You guys share this podcast. We did. We did.

We share a microphone. It's hockey time with Greg and Dave. The Kings... I don't fucking care. The Bruns. Yeah, commit to it right now. Either Bruins or Ghost Bear. That's who I'm in a roof.

There you go. Not the Flyers. Just the Bear ghosts. In true Bostonian, and budding in where they're not wanted and then taking over the room. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

What? What? I'm just saying. Excuse me? Hold on. We're rivals. Did you insult me at the end of my, of my podcast? This morning.

I don't know. It's not insulting you. It's insulting your entire heritage in the place where you love. And my dumb face. That's right. I didn't say your dumb face. You were thinking it. I saw it on your stupid.

I had that, I had that dumb look on my face about your dumb face. There you were waiting in the lobby. Remember you said her dumb face? Where's her dumb face? Yeah, it didn't say it at all. Katie Nolan, where can't, so you have with the Garbage Time podcast, when is your show coming back? May 4th. May the 4th be with you at Star Wars Day.

It is. Wow, the nerd and you just got the largest boner. Oh, my Lord. The smallest, the medium-sized average boner. Yeah, May the 4th. It's a Wednesday. We're back for, I don't know, many episodes. And also, that could change because that's how TV works.

But the podcast is up every Tuesday. We have a guest, and every Thursday we do. just me and my producers fucking off. You can listen to two podcasts per week. And then we put out a digital video, which you can find at YouTube.com slash Katie Nolan. Do you consider yourself a YouTube star?

No, God, no. You know why? Because I was found on YouTube. Right. Star makes it sound like more than 2,000 people were watching my videos, and that's just not the case. Unless I put the word boobs in the title, or like two times I wore a tube top,

which now men love to use when I do a sports thing, like, oh, look at you. You were a slut on you. YouTube. One time. One time it was 300 degrees and so now that forever ruins my integrity. God forbid I wear a goddamn teutotot! There was no nipple. It was for like a bro guy. Guyism. I almost wrote for them. We almost were co-workers. Oh wow. Chris, right? Chris Spags who now works at barstool sports. Oh, oh, there's a lateral move. Right. So that's a compliment. I'm just saying that could have been me in the tube top if I had actually gone and done it and I could have had the same, you know.

integrity. Yeah. Oh, I don't have any integrity. Are you kidding? I mean, either, but I have to act like I do. Don't you make fun of me? The way you're endorsing Twitter right now. It's just a sweatshirt that has worked on it.

Katie Nolan, you're the best. Thank you for coming and doing this pilot episode. Have you ever done a pilot before? I don't think, well, I've had sex with a man who flies a plane. Oh, wait a second. No, no, I've never done a pilot before. We're the best. Thank you for making us look good.

Everybody check out Katie's show on Fox Sports One. Everybody check out Katie's podcast, which will no doubt. be ranked the head of this one on iTunes. And thanks for listening to It's Hockey Time with Greg and Dave. Next time we'll talk about more hockey. Is it hockey time or talkie time? Hockey time. It's talking like you said talkie time.

It's talkie time. Should we change it? Should we go back? It's talkie time. It's talkie time. That would talkie time. Like a T with an apostrophe and then hockey, almost like a character in a fantasy novel. You should end the podcast now.

We can off-line this. Bye everybody. I'm Greg Wyszynski of Yahoo's. sports. And I'm Dave Lozo of whatever. And I'm Katie Nolan. This is my fucking podcast. And this has been hockey time.

Bye. Now leaving nerdist.com.