Puck Soup - Live from Dallas

Episode Date: June 22, 2018

Greg and Dave are live from the Prophet Bar in Dallas with Stars defenseman Stephen Johns! We talk NHL Awards, Barry Trotz and the Islanders, Ilya Kovalchuk, drunken Notre Dame hijinks, the Mike Hoffman trade, Sergei Zubov and the Hall of Fame, and Jamie Benn being down. Plus, two live game shows and much more!

Six and hits and goals and saves and slap shouts and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, it's and dudes. It's your weekly bowl of Hockey and Nansen. Man, that song sucks, huh? Should I take the mic out of the thing? We were referencing before that this is. how the guy from Stained always used to sing.

I've never heard of Stained. I'm too young. It's ages. Is that a 90s band man person? I've never heard of them before. You have to do the intro. The people have paid to who you do the intro. And I'm Greg Wyszynski. And you're in Poxone. When you order with C geek, you order with confidence.

It feels good to be the one to say that once in a while. Hey, hi Dallas. Thanks for coming out to the show. Yes. We're very, very happy to be here. Thanks to everybody for buying all the tickets that you bought because we were able to move from a smaller room to a larger room. I know some of you are on Twitter voicing concern about the number of people coming to the show and the comfortability of the room. And once I got into Dallas and felt the moist heat of the sun, On my body, I started to understand why you were so concerned about bodies being so close together in this fine state.

How do you people play hockey here in May and June? How do you do it? Oh, yeah, that's right. Hey, guys, Stephen Johns is upstairs, so maybe, like, be cool about the whole not playing hockey. May and June thing. All right, I dropped a beer already. Shut up. In fairness, I was trying to move the table from my own beer, so I didn't really care what happened to his beer. You didn't drop a beer.

He dropped my beer. When you order a beer at the profit bar, you order it with confidence. All right. My beer was more important. So anyways, everybody watched the NHL Awards last night? No. No, they said with such a... You missed the puppet guy.

Okay. The two highlights of the awards, obviously, were the fact that there was... I'm good. Thanks, Tom. Terry Fator, who is a renowned ventriloquist. Define renown. Renown, well, if Jeff Dunham and Peanut aren't available, then Terry Fator will come to your child's party.

So he's like the R.C. Cola of ventriloquist. If you're looking at your local supermarket, you have Jeff Dunham and Peanut as Mountain Dew and Terry Fator as Mountain Don't. I don't know what the hell is. So he was there with a puppet, and my biggest regret from the show, I was actually near the red carpet was the fact that he was next to Mark Messier with a hand of a puppet's ass, and there's Mark Messier, and then next to him is this guy like, Mur, look at me, I'm a

fucking puppet. And I didn't get a picture. What was he like? And so I didn't get a picture. That was my one regret. But he was horrible on the show. Wait, can I ask a question The two guys that came out and said

Chelle 75 times? Yeah. Is that like the ground zero of the word chel? Or were they making fun of the word chur? No, that's the ground zero of the word chel. Those are the off, on the bench, off the bench? On the bench. Because one guy's name was like Bob Bar-down,

if I'm correct, or something like that? Like, get it, bar down. That's a hockey scene. I plead American in not understanding anything that he too. But so the other horrific thing that happened Iceland in case he missed it was that there was a magician and things started out well they did a clever thing they had him make Gary Betman disappear yeah um unfortunately when he reappeared he wasn't adam silver of the NBA he was actually a child um so then so then uh that was funny but then things

really went off the rails later in the show when he tried to do a card trick to reveal the winner of the Selkie trophy and and instead of so the whole trick was like he was going to lay the cards on the table to create a mosaic picture of the winner of the Selke trophy. And instead it looked like someone spilled a jigsaw puzzle on the floor. And you saw what looked like Anj Kopatar's knee.

And you're like, oh, that looks like a king's jersey. And so he knew who won. And then obviously, when Kopatar got up to get the award, he snubbed him on the handshake because he's like, fuck you. You didn't know. Did he do that? I didn't notice he did that. The thing I love was the card trick where was Matt Barzell had to protect his janitor. from a card.

Because when I think about award shows, I want to see somebody as uncomfortable as possible protecting their genitals. The good news, Matt, is you're going to be involved in a skit. The bad news, it's going to be Gambit throwing explosive playing cards

at your genitals the entire time. When I watch the Oscars, I want to see Merrill Street protecting her genitals from a card trick guy throwing his card as a weapon. Like he's fucking, who is the guy in the shitty magic movie?

The Franco brother? Oh, do you mean like, now you see me? and the sequel, Now You See Me Too, instead of being Now You Don't. Now You See Me. I mean, for God's sakes, it was like, it was a layup. I mean, you just call it now you don't. I mean, that's the second part of the phrase.

But they went with Now You See Me Too. And they didn't even make it T-O-O. What the fuck? Like, it was just, the simplest things. Why does it have to be that? It's not, look who's talking. Look who's talking owns that, okay? They own the two as the sequel gimmick.

Look who's talking also. Get it. But I feel like, you know, if you want to make your movie more endearing, you go to two, like Star Trek T-O-O. Like, it would be just perfect. You want to spend time with these people. Speaking of bad ideas, what everybody think of the PHWA voting, how did you guys like seeing those? So the professional... Rodic Fox had got some love, right?

Like, he was... He was on my Selky ballot. So the three things that stood out from me were Dave Schultz, of the... the Globe and Mail listed Taylor Hall as a center. I mean, he was the center of the devil's surge to the playoffs. Taylor Hall might have taken a face off once after all four other players in the ice were thrown out, including a defenseman, maybe even the goalie. So that was embarrassing.

No, but what I enjoyed about David Schultz was when he realized his mistake, he was completely fucking petty about it when everybody pointed it out to him. Oh, sorry. I made a mistake with something so inconsequential as an, well, then don't fucking vote if it's not into what are you doing? Like, let's say like that was my ballot and I had like Roberto Luongo a defenseman and somebody was like, hey, moron. Roberto Luongo plays goalie. I'd be like, ah, fuck, I was really drunk when I did my ballot. I screwed up and that's on me. That's my bet. I wouldn't be like, I'm going to go live under an

underpass in Toronto and feel shame. Like, just own your mistakes. That's all. It's easy. And then there was, of course, the moments when the people were trying to defend their peers by saying, well, you know what, you might all be really angry about the Hart Trophy voting, but think about those kids from humbled. I'm just like, you know what? We cover a damn kids game where they all skate around for 17 months trying to lift a giant silver thing. Like, you could literally say that about every single thing that we do as professionals to them play that card. But that card was played too. And then the other thing was the person who put Vladimir Teresenko fifth for the Selki, I thought was pretty impressive. Yeah.

They must have seen his back check. Didn't somebody also put Jacob Slavin ahead of John Klingberg? That was a thing too, right? John Klingberg. Are you cheering Jacob Slavin being ahead of John Klingberg? Dallas people, you have found your enemies. John Klingberg ended up, uh, I think it was sixth in the voting behind Carlson and all those guys because, you know, one bad month.

He should have been top three? Sure. I mean, sure. That's a guy of a Sabre's jersey. So he knows nothing about what goes on with Aguze. Ignore that. It's fine. Then there, of course, were the, what I thought would be the conclusion of the great Connor

McDavid Wars, but they rage on. Apparently. So as you know, I didn't vote McDavid in my top five for the heart. It's how I defined value in the sense that if your team is 17 points out of the playoffs, your contributions aren't as important as other peoples were. Who was your top five? My top five were in maybe particular order. Your champion, Taylor Hall. noted center Taylor Hall then it was McKinnon then it was Copatar Jeru and Blake Wheeler was my fifth

Hey we got a Winnipeg person here I was curious if we were going to get a cheer for Blake Wheeler he did he was awesome man and you talk to those Jets guys and they're a little like yeah what he did this season was incredible but so the thing the thing that bothers me most after having seen all the ballots is sort of like the pity votes that Connor McDavid got were like

he was fifth on like 30 ballots and it's just like if you're going to have him on the ballot you can't have him fifth like he was if you're going to acknowledge that he's eligible to win the award like he needs to be at least second or third right like putting him fifth is is sort of a waste of a thing why do you hate Connor McDavid tell the people deep down that you interviewed him once Did he, like, say something about Star Wars that made you mad? That is so completely rude to claim... He was like, Greg, the Last Jedi, was terrible, and I want to redo it. I want to redo it.

It's so rude to claim that I hate Connor McDadegh, but when I hate the Oilers. Now, listen, the people that want to remake The Last Jedi really upset me today. Oh, no, we can't do this. We can't. I don't know. Did people, like, round of applause if you liked The Last Jedi? Round of applause if you didn't like The Last Jedi. And that friends is what art is. It's divisive.

It challenges you. It makes you think. It's not some populism like the Force Awakens. That's fucking candy for a child. The Last Jedi is a piece of art. This is my fault. I apologize. I should not have said Star Wars.

It's like walking into a gallery and being like, that Picasso is not as I remembered it when I was eight. I'm going to paint over it a kitten eating a cheeseburger. because I fucking love kittens and I love cheeseburgers and that's what I want to see. Now is a good time to go to the bar and get yourself something to drink. Just come back in like an hour. I did see, by the way, in the Star Wars front that they are pausing the Star Wars stories movies because of the lack of success for Solo, which actually was pretty good.

So we're not going to get that Boba Fett movie you've been Jones and Forlozo. Yeah, because I really needed a Han Solo origin story when in the first movie, Han Solo was like 26. What was Han Solo like in high school? I would only watch a Boba Fett movie if it started in the belly of the Sarlac, and it's like record scratch. You might be wondering how I ended up here. Oh, my God. The one thing that I really, like, there's all the PHWA votes that were kind of weird,

but who is the, we'll say six figures at least, right? NHLGM, six figures? I mean, as far as they make? Perhaps seven figures? I mean, it depends on the team. So, like, all due respect to John Chaka, I don't think he's making six figures with the Arizona Coyotes.

John Chaka is getting like 80K a year and it's all on Bitcoin. We know that. That's not works. But who's the GM that was like Freddie Anderson? Oh, yeah. That's the best goalie in the NHL this year. Freddie Anderson finished fourth in the design of voting.

The guy with the 2.87 goals against and 918, say percentage. He finished ahead of Flurry. he finished ahead of John Gibson and he finished like, but Brodsky had like one, like, fifth place vote. It was very odd. Like he's not even Canadian. Usually I can be like, oh, well, he's

Canadian. His name, he's from Ontario and once, you know, was in Chico Resch's goalie camp when he was 12. Oh, so that's why he's getting votes. He's, what is he, Danish? I just, I just, everyone wants to say, you know, never played the game people, they don't know the game.

Whatever general manager thinks Freddie Anderson had the best season in the NHL was a goaltender last year. Mark Bergevan, right? It was Mark Bergerna. It had to be. So I forgot to mention before about the voting. I could really go for a beer right now. I'm sorry, I knocked her over. The, so the voting for the All-Star teams postseason is where we ended up with Taylor Halls Center. We also ended up with Claude Giroux getting votes for all three forward positions. And the thing you got to know about this, by the way, is the reason why it's such a, fucking disgrace is twofold. One, because everybody remembered Alex Ovechkin getting on the All-Star

team as a left wing and a right wing right here, which is how we got in this mess. And then the other thing is, there's an email sent to all the voters that actually says, hey, everybody, please note what Claude Drew's position is this year. And people still put up a wrong position. Oh, yeah, they clarified for you in the email. They say, hey, dummy, this guy plays this position. There's still some guy who's like, eh, center. Why not make him be a center? What bothers me, too, about the PHWA

is there's, what, 320 people? I don't want your garbage Shinerbach. Holy shit. Do you know where you are? Whatever. You're in the jungle, baby. Wait, wait, is Shinerbach?

A Dallas beer? Tableloves are just insulted Shiner in Dallas. I mean, I'm going to drink it, obviously. It's like doing a live show in Manhattan and being like, fuck bagels is Shinerbach really a local beer? I had no idea. It's a Texas classic.

Well, what I meant to say was Oh, how do you guys feel about Shiner's Ruby Redbird? Are you fans of the grapefruit beer? That's a no. Let me tell you how much I love Adrian Belchray. Yeah. And Dirk Novitsky.

Yeah. And Sergei Zubov! We'll get to that later. So, I don't know. Did someone bring me a Zubov jersey to wear? Did you bring one? All right. Listen, when we get around to talking about that fucking nonsense,

bring me the jersey and I'll wear it for the great debate. Oh, yeah, I wanted to rent. So the PHWA has 320 voters, right? Sure. And they only use half of them. Half of them. They just pick 160 people at random. Well, they rotate the votes through the...

Why? It makes no sense. Why would everybody in the PHWA not have a vote? Imagine a country where they use some like electoral college system. And your vote didn't matter. Like, how stupid would that be? Why would you do that? Why would not every single vote count?

no matter where you are in the group of people that you're part of. So for those, I'm just saying. For those scoring at home, Lozo in the first 10 minutes of the show has bought up and is insulted Shinerbach and bought up electoral politics. So we're off to a flying start. What color is this state? Is this a red state? It's a red state, right?

So I love guns. No, they rotate the votes so different people can vote. Why do I think everybody vote? I don't know. Here's the thing. Oh, I know why everybody can't vote. Why? It's because it's in balance.

So like there's a fuck tonne more voters in the East than they're on the West. So they have to like repress the Eastern voters to make sure that it's not completely East Coast. So that's like saying if you had a heavy, heavily populated state in a country. And you minimize the impact those people could have. So you're saying like it based on where they live. Interesting. For example, like New York. should have as many voters as votes that count, let's say, as, say, like, Iowa.

I just think one person, one vote, Greg. So, I don't know if you saw the press release from the PHWA, but there were a number of people that messed up their ballots, and I regret to inform you, one of them was our dear friend Mike Haika here from Dallas. Who, his ballot was... Wait, is he here? His ballot was discounted because he forgot to, in his words, cut and paste the name of a goalie on.

his all-star team. Like, where was he cutting it and pasting it from? I don't know. Last year's ballot, maybe, I don't know. But there was one guy who sent it his ballot too late, and these all... Listen, I knew that we're doing the transparency thing as far as the voting

this year, and I was fine with it. I didn't realize they were going to call out people that fucked up their ballots. Like, I really didn't. It's like, it's like, here are the people that voted Vladimir Terra Sinko for the Silky, and here are the motherfuckers who didn't even fill their shit out right but but it was 12 ballots right so like what if those 12 ballots all had Nathan McKinnon at first in the heart vote and no no Taylor Halls an excellent point

they were all hanging chads if you will now you got me into it what's the deal of the um so now the reason I bring this up is that it internally the discussions in the PHWA were that if you didn't fill out your ballot right you might not get a chance to vote next year so I hope they don't do that to HICA because he's really really good Oh. But some of the other people that fucked up their ballots, yeah, is he really good?

Because apparently he messed up his ballot. Yeah, but it was a cutting and pasting error, you know? Sure. He hit control Z when he meant to hit control C. It's the keyboard's fault, really. Right. So Taylor Hall wins the heart. That's great.

Heaven wins the Norris. I know everybody here is pissed off about that. John Klingberg people, right? Yeah. See, I know what a pan. The thing out of the Norris that sucks now is that, like, it seems like the people that are, like, There's like the Drew Dowdy thing.

It's like there are people that are mentioned the beginning of the season as being predestined to win their first Norris and then they end up winning it. You know, no matter what happens in the season, that guy ends up winning it. Wait, are you saying that's Victor Headman? I'm saying it was Victor Headman's turn

at the beginning of the season and lo and behold. The fact that you would compare Victor Headman's season into the one that Drew Dowdy had is offensive to me, sir. Let it be known that P. K.K. Suban was at top my ballot. I mean, P.K. Suban or Victor Hadman

probably should have won it. I mean, John Klingberg should have should have won it. Matt Barzel won the Calder, and four people didn't put him first, and one person put him third. Didn't some ESPN person, like, leave Clayton Keller off her ballot altogether?

Emily Capon left Clayton off her off off. Oh, that's right. From some other podcast that I don't know about, apparently. Copatar won the Selky, Galant won the Coach of the Year, which is great. This was such a beautiful night last night because Taylor Hall winning was just a big middle finger to Edmonton.

And then Galant winning, I mean, was like the latest in a series of middle fingers towards Florida based on what happened with the expansion draft. But like how can you have a coach of the year and a GM of the year? Like, you can't have one without the other. Or you can't have one and then have the other because if we all thought the team was bad before the year, Gerard Galant deserves all the credit for making the team good, right? Right. So the team that he put together, being George McPhee, how is that the best? How did he do a better job than Kevin Chevaldea off, is my point? Players play the game, Dave.

Oh, my goodness. I don't know, that seemed like a real smart thing to say at that point. Boy, you have turned against me? We're not even 20 minutes in yet. William Carlson won the Lady Bing. Oh, the fucking Lady Bing. Go ahead. People?

You know how I feel about the Lady Bing. Who gives a shit who's gentlemanly in the way? the NHI. I don't. I don't even know how we judge that. It's like penalty minutes. But like, what if a guy has eight penalty minutes, but like he walks around saying like horrible shit the people out of ice, but no one's looking? I don't know. I'm not out there. I always assume that it was if you're

playing on the ice is bad and then you lay your jacket down so that the lady can walk over the puddle, then you are going to be a lady being candidate. This guy always opens the bench door. He's so nice. But,

but, but as dumb as it is, there's one rule. be a gentleman. Yeah. And Connor, motherfucking McDavid, got an abuse of officials penalty during the season and finished fourth in the voting? Yeah. Yeah.

The word abuse is in the penalty that he got during the year. People were like, oh, I can't vote for this guy because he got a fighting major. This guy got an abuse of officials penalty. Yeah, but he only had like 12 penalty minutes total. Just, just get rid of the old. It's like he didn't crawl in a hole and cry for the entire season playing at Edmonton, so he's obviously

a bit of a gentleman. Or maybe he was... Also give him the Masterton. He's survived so much. Maybe he was gentlemanly, maybe he was like, oh, oh, sir, oh, hello, Mr. Don Quaharsky, oh, right, sir, go fuck yourself. Cheerio. As every Karaski should, yeah. And then all the hockey readers are like, you know, when he told

Garsky to fuck off, I did not hear a please. Not Lady Bing quality. Yeah, I hate, I've long said the lady Bing is a horrible award. The Lady Bing should be voted on by the officials. The GM of the Year award shouldn't exist. It's fucking stupid. It takes like at least five years for people to really, like for example, people who are judging Jim Nill now, for example, who knows how good this team will be in 15 to 20 years.

Is that Auntie, any Emmy contract expired yet or no? Boo. Yes, boo that contract. Yes, absolutely. Thank you. Stephen John's is here to know. nights. Oh, he's, he's going to be down here in like two seconds, isn't he? He's like, really big and strong. I just wanted to remind my co-host until he's just like, and fuck Jason Spatzel. Here's what I love about the Dallas stars. For God's sakes.

I'm picking the stars to win the cup next year, actually. Hey, buddy. I really, like, as I start to formulate ideas on who's going to win the cup next year, like, if Tavares doesn't go to San Jose, And it sounds like with this, we'll talk about trots later, but like, it sounds like he's going to stay in New York. Like, I feel like if San Jose does one more, like if they get Carlson, like they might be my pick, but also the- John or Eric, which Carlson? Eric, for like maybe like a year.

There's like 50 Carlson's now in the NHL and they're all awesome. Well, they have Melker, so we can cross him off. No, if it was like Eric Carlson and then like you add him to the sharks, like, I mean they're the sharks, so never be something will go wrong. but like I feel like maybe that be, but the other thing to myself, but like the West is really, really competitive. So in theory, because an expansion team went to the Stanley Cup final out of the conference. I'm just like, oh my God, is it a Vegas fan heckling me? Let me rephrase that. The Central Division is really competitive.

Yeah. That's fair. So I feel like it would be like a team from the East. And then it would, you know, you come back to like Boston maybe being the team. team that you think about. You know what? I was thinking about that division. Which division? The Atlantic. Okay. Because you have

Boston, Tampa, and Toronto, right? And everyone's like, wow, Boston came out of nowhere this year. 100 plus points, really good team and all this stuff. Did you ever look at the other five teams in that division? It's Ottawa, Florida. Who am I forgetting? Carolina. No, Carolina's in the metro.

Yeah. Exactly. Making it into the playoffs and the Atlantic is like beating the first screen on Donkey Kong. It's like, wow, you made it. That's amazing. There's no jumping from metal platform and metal platform. There's no going over

those little divots. You know, that's all it is. That's a joke from 1983, by the way. It's the case you were wondering. It's just like Atari. It's just like those fireside chats. Do you know when you're playing asteroids and there's a big asteroid?

This reminds me of an episode of I Love Lucy. Do you remember when fire was discovered? Boy, what a weird day that was, right? Where it was like dark and cold, but then it was warm and light. All right, listen. Let's probably bring out our guest. He's been back there

for way too long. Stephen Johns is a defenseman for the Dallas Stars and he's here on this very podcast. Listen to that ovation. My God. Do you guys know that he's originally from Western Pennsylvania? Come on, really?

Of course they know. How would they not know? Stephen Johns is from a town called Wampum in Western PA. Stephen, do you know who the other... Richie Allen. Yeah. So there are four notable people listed on the Wampum Wikipedia page. Is this a chirp?

Are you... What? Are you chirping? No, I'm just saying, I was going to say you're one of them. All right. I mean, there's probably only 800 people that ever lived there. But like, do you know the other three names along with you on the Wikipedia page for notable people? All them athletes, by the way.

Is it the Hennon brothers? Dick Allen and Hank Allen, and there's one more. No, I don't. Huh? I don't know the other. The other one, well, besides you, is Don Hennon, who was a basketball player and surgeon. They won four state titles in a row. Who?

The Wampum Indians back in the 50s. In what? In basketball? That must have been where Dr. H played. Don Hennon. But you're on the notable people. What was Wampum like growing up? Besides a currency, I imagine.

Sorry. It was right there. I'm sorry. There was Main Street, K Street, and Beaver Street, and that was it. There's not, no gas stations. No gas stations. No red lights. That's kind of like our core.

Are there bars? A couple. Horse and buggy still. I imagine. So when you were drunk, you would Uber like for like a horse and buggy? Like, hey? No, I don't know. We actually don't even like, I got an Uber from,

I tried to get an Uber from Pittsburgh back home one time. And I got an Uber and the guy just told me to get out. So that's how far out. out of the sticks I live. But you're also, I imagine you spent some time in Pittsburgh, yeah? Yeah. Do you, how do you feel about putting fries

on everything as they do in Pittsburgh? It's the only way to eat. Oh, man. I don't, I mean, have you ever heard of, like, French fries in a, in a bad way? Yeah, like, they put it on salad in Pittsburgh. It's a little bit much. Well, it's, you know, you get that little extra salt.

Carb up. It is. You got to get your carbs in a salad somehow. It is a glorious, starchy mess. Do you ask for fries, like, here in Dallas? You're like, let me get a salad. I respect everything about Dallas. Zing.

We were talking about the Central Division before. Does it piss you off having to play there? Because it's so fucking hard to win? No, I think it's sweet. I actually, I think that, you know, you want to be a part of the hardest division because if you come out of it, it just means you're that much better of a team. And you want those games every night when you go from Chicago to Minnesota to Winnipeg to Nashville. And I mean, you're playing and playoff games every night.

And, you know, that's what's fun about the game of hockey. And it's obviously it's tough, but that's just an excuse to use to, you know, if you fail. Let me offer an alternative. You spend a quarter of your season in Florida and get to play the Sabres. Let's say there's just say there's other. options. Sabers guy in the front road did not laugh at that joke at all. Not even a smile just for the people who can't see him. You're getting Rasmus the lean tomorrow. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine. It's one more step ahead on the long road back to the playoff bubble.

You were in Chicago before you came here. Oh, Rockford, yeah. Oh, Rockford or whatever. It's all the same. What was Rockford like? A bunch of hicks, someone says. Hey, that H-word doesn't roll cool with me. Yeah, that's a prejorative or something. Because I am a hick, and I absolutely embrace it. I'm a hig. Did you miss the whole Western PA, Wampum part of the interview?

They call it Pencil Tucky, I believe. Taunt me. I'm not going to do anything about it. You can talk me on stage. Don't taunt the really big show. Who did you play with in Rockford that went on to the Hawks? I live with, I actually roomed with Ryan Hartman, who is in Nashville now. Play with Phil Dono's in Montreal. A couple other guys are there, too.

I'm kind of on a brainfire right now. That's fine. Did Hartman ever try to punch you, or was it cool? No, I mean, he's kind of a guy like Ruse. He's a guy that you love to have on your team, but he hate to play. play against. And I mean, he's one of my best friends. And I know it hurts a lot of people for me to say that. But, you know, he's a guy that would be standing up in my wedding. But, you know, when he's on the ice, I, you know, I don't want anybody harder than him. So, I mean, he knows that. And that's what,

you know, that's what makes this game fun. Yeah. What's hockey in Dallas like? Because you've, you've come from Brockford, you come here. Is it, is it a place where you can go outside and live your life? Or people are like, oh my God, that's Stephen Johns? No, it's not like that. I mean, I think I had like a I had a cool like Tyler Sagan moment last year in Whole Foods where someone recognized me and I was kind of you know I did like a I did like a double take and I was like thanks man they thought they thought you were Tyler Sagan no no no no because I was going to say you should play that up for all it's worth like yeah I'm Tyler Sagan I got I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to dye the beard it's like oh my God Tyler Sagan's buying and incredibly overpriced trail mix. So you can live your life somewhat anonymously. Is that good or would you rather be in Toronto

where people are counting the number of times you visit a hot dog stand outside of your condominium? I mean, you already explained my small town in a great way, by the way. So, you know, I like it this way. I went to a school with a big name, which I didn't really like. You know, I kind of felt like there was a lot of a big

spotlight on that and uh you know i like it here i love it here you went to notre dame yeah i heard did you go there with golden tate uh yeah i did i've all i've been told that there are many golden tate things that you'd like to share with us on the podcast there's only one there's only one golden tate i mean that's only one story i was there i think i was a freshman he was a senior so and that was when he was kind of i mean we all knew he's going to the nfl and we uh you know we had beer Olympics that day in college, you know? As one does at a Catholic school.

Wait, explain beer Olympics to the people. Like, what are the events? Uh, who. There's, uh, you hear you. There's, uh, there's about 14 events. 14. Yeah. Uh, you know, it's college, man.

It's, uh, so like, I mean, what do you, I mean, you play drinking games all day and, you know, if you win, you move, I mean, it's just a tournament. Okay. Can we get, uh, beer pong? Yeah. Tricicle race? Flip cup?

I don't even know if you flip cup was there. We had, uh, the, the worst one was, uh, ice cube tray races where you fill, fill, uh, beer up an ice cube tray, and you have to drink out of it with a straw as fast you can. Oh, God. And, uh, go try and do it. I guarantee you you throw up. Yeah. How do you win?

How do you win? Is it like the first, the last person who's not passed out? You have teams of four. So like, all year you're like, you know, getting, you got your team, you got your squad ready for the beer Olympics. and and you know it's it's just you know it's i mean everyone does it it's uh it's like johnny get the trays we got to do train you know but you come in as a freshman and you hear all the seniors and junior talk oh man just wait till beer olympics it's best day of the year did you win uh runner up all right that's a silver that was that was my best finish runner up

said gold tates a senior and you're a freshman yes the beer beer olympics well yeah beer olympics you know once it kind of died down it kind of you know more people would come over and we would just you know just keep drinking and keep partying we're in college and uh we're up on the on our balcony and someone's throwing a football around i see golden tape you know out in the crowd and i he throws me the football and i'm out there i'm you know i'm three or four beers deep a couple couple trays yeah he gets into it he gets into this three-point stance. And I'm like, holy shit, is this guy are we going to run a route right now?

And like, no shit. Like, I, like, act like I was on the center. And this guy, like, looks at me. And I'm like, holy, well, here we go. Like, 100 people were staring at me. A little nervous. And I put it right on the money. Nice.

Put it right on the money. That's my golden tape story. It's not that cool. It's a great moment. It's one that I'll cherish. Do you ever think that maybe you could be an NFL player or a Cleveland Brown? What? An NFL player or Cleveland Brown?

Cleveland has a, they have an NFL team? See, I'm a huge Steelers fan. We were discussing the Cleveland Browns in the greener room before, and we were told that the Brown's success is cyclical, to which I said much like the equator is cyclical Time is a flat circle and it's the biggest fucking circle

in the history of sports I almost lost my crease I did lose my crease For the benefit of those at home Loza walked out with a well a crease on his foot his foot

has been in the crease the entire time I figured that like If I could ever do this in some place where people would not acknowledge the fact that my foot was in the crease, it would be Dallas. So, Buffalo, what's up? He's got no idea. Yeah, he is. Just his reaction, just based off the reaction.

He's like, Dominic, who? Hasick? I don't know who that is. The Buffalo fan in the crowd has taken so many L's. It's like he's owned by Terry Bugula. Do you know how many times have you met your owner a lot? Yeah, we have, uh, every once a year, well, it's my first two years. We had, uh, he always has the boys out for, uh, big dinner at his house out in Vancouver. So, and he, he comes on a lot of trips with us, too, so he's around. Is he approachable? Or is he like, super rich?

That's kind of like, yeah, it's kind of like opposite. That's not, that doesn't, this doesn't even correlate. Well, obviously, I mean, the one answer to your question is yes. What's he going to do? That's exactly the answer I was looking for. And the second one, I mean, yeah, he's approachable. I mean, the hockey world, I feel like everyone's approachable in the hockey world. We're all, you know, kind of... Blue collar?

No. No. Down to Earth? Oh, yeah, for sure. Okay, got that. Yeah, blue car has a whole different definition for me. Logo on the front, not the name on the back. Absolutely.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, he's around and, uh, I mean, obviously it's, it's cool to be around them. Uh, we're thankful for him because, you know, obviously he pays us. So it's, it's, it's, it's, I mean, yeah, he's a great guy. He's a great owner and, um, you know, hopefully, uh, I can be here for a long time. Yes. Was, was that a gotcha question where he was going to be like, here's what I hate about my owner. Like, what was he going to say?

What am I supposed to say? Well, I just want to. I wanted to, um, like, we originally thought we were going to get Jamie Ben. Oh, sorry. So, like, I, I had a couple of Jamie Ben questions. I was going to ask him, and he's not here. Is it all right if I just, like, throw him? So you're going to, you're going to ask the Jamie Ben questions anyway, but no Jamie Ben. Well, I mean, like, no. No, no. Like, they're, like, general questions, but, like, I don't know.

Don't, don't, don't, don't do my jokes before I do my jokes. Stephen, if you want to answer as Jamie Ben Whatever you want to do I don't know if you want to be that No, they're just regular hockey questions You people have your minds in the gutter Stephen was nice enough to come out here and do this I mean, come on, let's screw up here

And also like Lozo put in so much time in research I worked hard on these questions It's only natural that he would share them. This is just a regular hockey question, ready? Back in training camp, was this how you envision the season going down? It's a reasonable question. No? All right. Yeah, it's, you know, it's what we set out to do.

Come on. Was that like, was that a legitimate question? Yeah, this is why, you know, the season went down in a way that I thought a lot of people weren't expecting. So I just, you know, I just, no, the second question is better. It's a more thoughtful question. The stars scored the third fewest goals in the third period last year. Is it possible the team had like a fitness issue or a nutrition issue? Do you think too many players eat out during the season? I don't, I don't want to be Jamie Ben anymore. So, all right, you don't want me to ask about how Brad Marchand use his tongue in the postseason then?

I won't, then I won't ask, I want to ask, it's over, that's it. That's all I got. Well, I'm sorry, I just, I just had the questions all written already and I just, you know, Greg, Greg does a lot of interview work and I didn't want to have him carry the whole, carry the load and I know when I'm licked, I'm going to stop. The incredible restraint and I'd ask that time in the box joke. It's pretty impressive. I don't get it. Is this how I should sit? Is this what?

Is this how I should sit? Oh, yeah. We got this way? All right. We didn't even talk about fashion. So I'm wearing a black t-shirt that says blog boys. It's from the ringer. It's Kevin Durant line.

Lozo is wearing a fucking boat rock shirt, I would say? Like, it's got yachts on it? These are nachos. These are a little triangle nachos. Wait, those aren't sailboats? No, they're nachos. It's a Taco Bell shirt. I legit thought that those were sailboats.

It's a podcast. No one can see the shirt, so I can lie about what's on the shirt. Oh, okay. They're just white corn nachos. I love nachos. It is something. It is definitely something. Stephen Johns, you fancy yourself as a gamer, I've heard.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you play? PubG right now. That got a reaction from the crowd. What do you like about the game? Is it the murder? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Now, are you like all the Finns in the league? Do you have guys in the league that you play with? Or is it a separate group of friends? Or are you anonymous and just murdering 10-year-olds? Because they're, I mean, when I play Fortnite, I know that the sniper attack that I just unleashed on somebody, it's a fucking 11-year-old who is like taking a break from their math homework, and I just murdered them.

It's satisfying. It's actually, it's actually pretty, I have, I have, I have my group of gamers. We're in a big group chat and, uh, we text each other when we're all getting on. And I play with a couple guys around the league. Alexiak was, you know, obviously one of my good friends here when we played here. And we still, uh, we still, you know, game together. We were both pretty, pretty big gamers. So, uh, I don't know, I think it's, I think it's, uh, you know, just a way better thing than watching TV.

I would tend to agree with that. He's a Fortnite guy. He talks about Fortnite nonstop. I talk about it, nonstop. But you told me that your game is like Fortnite, but not as cheesy. Just like, yeah. Like, your game is for, like, people that are like, you run around and instead of an axe, you have a lollipop. This is fucking stupid.

Did you ever reach out to any? Because the Finns seem like the guys that, like, Linae and all them all play Call of Duty together. They'll have their little. But there's a story. Did we tell that story on the podcast about Linae? Who told that story? About how Linae and his teammate were staying in New York in a hotel. And they actually went out and bought a second television for the hotel room.

Do you have that story? Dude, you don't even know. Right. True. Yeah. First of all, I bring my Xbox everywhere. Of course. On road trips, yeah?

What's that? On road trips, you can just bring in it? Absolutely. Put on a backpack. I don't know. I just thought like maybe there's like rules about like, you know, curfews and not playing video games but like oh i mean well you i mean we're on road trips we have so much downtime it's you know a walking around cities kind of gets old and you know you you got a you got to be

rested for every game and um i just play video games yeah man did we ever tell the story the lini story on the podcast lie lie and his teammate i want to say it was eelers were in new york in manhattan staying in like the western or whatever they went out to like a best buy they bought a second television for the hotel room so they could play call of duty together and then they just fucking left it in the hotel room after they checked out it was just there like the next guy who walked in is just like oh fuck a fucking television this is much better than the king james bible being rich must be awesome in so many ways we never even think about like that for example jesus have you ever brought off tv for a hotel room you ever just like say like hey we got to get like a

crazy game going in the hotel room? I would, I brought my own monitor. You bought your own monitor. That's different though. That's fair. Is it? Sure. I mean, we didn't go and buy a TV. I got chirped so hard. I used to have, I used to have the briefcase with the screen in it. You threw your Xbox? Oh yeah. Wait, who is chirping? What? And listen, listen, listen, listen, You had a briefcase to your Xbox that had a TV monitor inside of it? I'm not the only guy in the league. Like, that sounds like, that sounds like a bomb that Tom Cruise would have to diffuse in a mission of It was sweet because I you know First road trip I'm bringing it on I'm all I'm all juiced up about having it

And I just throw it out on the plane and everyone's like whoa, what are you doing? I'm like Gaming boys And they oh I got I got I got you know they gave me pretty much every road trip they just give me shit Yeah, they're just they're just like we want to do it too, but we're afraid to ask Stephen how we set it up That's what it is man There's no other explanation. He gets talked to. He's like, someone's like, what a waste of time they say as they're binging the fourth season of Sons of Anarchy on the plane.

Yeah, no, I went from watching seven seasons of a TV show in a week to just gaming. They're back in their room like Googling how to play video games in my hotel room. They're just embarrassed to ask you because they've been giving you shit for so long. Don't want that. Who's giving you the most shit? Who is it, is it Jamie Ben? No, no, I mean, it's, well, because all the young guys, you know, we grew up with, video games and, I mean, so are the older guys, but our video games, when we were growing up,

were a little bit more advanced. They're a little bit more advanced. So, I mean, they just don't understand it. We have a couple more questions. We have a couple more questions for you. Do you want to talk, you want to talk about how it was like playing for Hitch? I mean, the guy's a legend. I mean, he wasn't a little, everything that happened last year, you know, it was on us, his players, wasn't on him. Was it, he can talk that guy. Did he talk? Did he talk? when you were in the room, was he short with you? Or would he just fucking drone on

when he would talk to you guys? I mean, it's like any coach, you know. It all depends on the situation. If we needed a lashing, he would give us a lashing? Are you, like, trying to make a joke out of this? I'm not trying to say, like, if it's between periods. Did he not talk to you or did he ramble on constantly?

I'm like, what is he? Is he giving you like 20 seconds of go get him boys? Or is he like, you know, I organized a prison team in 1983. Because the laugh tells me all I need to know, Stephen Johns. I wasn't laughing. What did you learn? What did you pick up in the year with Hitch that you didn't maybe know before or think about before? I mean, personally, I worked with Rick Wilson a lot this year.

and just having Hitch there is, you know, Hitch has been through everything, and he's seen every situation. He, you know, obviously none of us saw what was going to happen at the end of the year last year. And, you know, I think it was the hardest on him because he was so excited to be back in Dallas and to have another opportunity. And I think he even said in an interview halfway through the season, like he had another wind. And he was, you know, it just, it was, I think it was the hardest thing to see him go out that way because of how much he cared about our team and our situation and how much he loves the city of Dallas and I think through that I mean he the guy's a legend I mean look at just look at

his track record he you know it was it was it was uh that was the hardest two months of my life for sure and and uh and that's that's that's collectively and it wasn't uh it wasn't I mean nothing changed in the locker and we know we had a tight group and it just um we just couldn't find a way to win a game and it just went on for weeks and they killed us. Should we talk about happy stuff now? How about this? How about this? Yeah. What's your favorite Steelers win over the Browns in the last 10 years? In the last, how many years?

Pick a time frame. Is it weird? Is it weird being a Steelers fan in Cowboys Country? No, no. Because, first of all, I wasn't alive whenever the whole rivalry was there. Oh, he wasn't alive when the Cowboys were good. That's what he's telling you. and he's right I didn't say it like that I mean I mean

I mean how am I going to dig myself out of this my first memory of the Cowboys is Barry Switzer I told them how much you like Jerry World they probably

that'll probably That place is freaking crazy See look at that It's amazing I walked in that I didn't know what to expect I'd pretty much just expect to go see a big TV

but Like when you walk in there In our seats We had seats where you couldn't really see the field until you got up to the seats. So we're walking up all these goddamn stairs and finally get up and it's like, you look out

and it's like, holy shit. Like if you're going to go eight and eight, that's the building to go eight and eight. Do you want to talk about your golf thing? When you got coming up with the golf thing? Yeah, I do a charity golf event every summer. First, this is the fourth year of it. The first three years, I've done it for different cancers. Just unfortunately, every year.

year I've had someone close to me die from cancer, so I've just done it for that type of cancer. And this year I'm going to do it for an organization that you guys might know I've worked with them in Dallas a little bit, the 22 kill guys. So I'm going to do it for that in this summer. Yeah, so it's, I mean, it's when I say charity, charity event, I mean, we do raise a lot of money, but it's, I mean, it's just a party, which is, which is, I mean, that's, in my estimation, that's the best kind of golf outing is, I mean, I just have, you know, 160 people there that, you know, just like to have fun and don't really care about how they play golf and then everyone just gets together for a really good day for a really good cause. And, you know, it's just, it's so much fun. And I share with all my closest friends and families. So, and we do it for a great cause. So here's your tea time and also your six pack and your ice trays. Oh, it's. So, so. So. So. frighteningly accurate.

What you're saying too is that you do this for charity and it's for fun, but maybe somebody might show up and take it too seriously and be competitive and ruin it for you if they come there, right? If they come there. Like maybe like a Cleveland Browns fan who's standing on some stairs and might be way too aggressive about it. I got a text from Tommy

the other day. I'm coming for blood. Tom, this is for charity. The only charity you're going to get is when I let you live at the end of this golf tournament. Tom? The trophy. It's all about the trophy. A Cleveland Browns fan is telling you it's all about the trophy. The trophy being Baker Mayfield in this sense.

I absolutely love Cleveland. All right. So you are the, correct me from wrong, lozo, but Stephen's the second active player we've ever had on the podcast other than Connor McDavid. Well, some other guy, never heard of him. Funny story. This is a funny story. Oh. Funny story about this guy. Wow. So we're, my girlfriend and I, we went to London and Paris about three weeks ago. And we're sitting, having dinner one night in Paris. And McDavid and his girlfriend walked by. Whoa. I literally felt like a fan girl. I was like, oh my God, it's McDavid. my girlfriend was like well why don't you go say hi i was like he doesn't know who i am i'm not gonna go

say hi he doesn't know who i am so the whole dinner i'm like contemplating like do i go say hi this guy like i'm seven years older than him he there's no way there's no way did you do it no no i mean what do you want me to say hey connor i'm step hey connor i'm step in a play for Dallas. Do you know me? Do you remember the... Put yourself an issue. Do you remember that fourth guy you turned style

back in November when you were in Dallas? It's incredible. Yeah. Probably the last person I would expect to see... This is actually eye-opening for me because I figured everybody knew each other. No, no. I mean, I probably know, like, one guy on every team.

Just... I would have loved to have seen a picture of, like, you and your girlfriend, like, awkwardly hugging him, like, holding his arms. that should be like the thing every NHL player does is like hey Connor can I get a picture and you just do the awkward hug on your arms like what the guys did in Nashville with the with the guys for asking for signatures outside when they disguise themselves oh I don't know that you don't know that no Nick Benino they did for Halloween a couple years ago yeah you got to look at it it's pretty funny

it's pretty funny all right Nick Benino who can't button a shirt by the way I don't know if you guys of that. How do you button a dress shirt? Do you button it like Nick Benino from from the bottom up or do you go top down? He goes, oh. He goes, he goes bottom up. I go, I go middle first. I set the tone early. And then I just. But wait, but wait. But after you go middle, then do you go up or down? It's, it's literally like, legitimately it's probably whatever button I see. And I just want a button. Like, first of all, I never. never button the top button unless I absolutely have to. Like, wow. Interesting. There's no reason to. Man. Are you, are you less mad at Nick Medino now? Because of this? No, no. That makes more sense than

like putting your shirt on and starting here. That makes no sense. That's what he said. Oh, he once had a whole Twitter fight about it with people. He was like, yeah, you're crazy if you go from like the second button down. Like, how do you put your shirt on and like, line it up to go? I don't. It just folds. and like, listen, listen, you set the tone early. You button that middle one. If you get it wrong, you get it wrong. You start over again. Well, we're just going one button at a time.

We're not getting too far ahead of ourselves. We just want to focus on the first button. And then, you know, we'll see what happens after that. Folks, you come to this podcast for such life lessons. Take that with you. Spread the good word of Stephen John. And next time you're button in a shirt, I guarantee you remember it. All right.

Ladies gentlemen, the great Stephen Johns, the Dallas Star. A standing ovation, sir. Giving him a standing ovation after you call them a hick is not going to change how he feels about you, sir. So now it's time for a little trivia. Listen, listen, Surgis, you bought. The jock left. So Doctor Who is season eight? I'm just saying.

Who wants to play a little this side or the other thing? Who are the Patreon people that said they were going to do it? Because I don't want to look it up right now and I'm too lazy. Don't lie. Who are you if we said you were going to do it? Okay, come on up. Wait, how many do we need? We need two people.

Two people that want to play a trivia game. Who are they? Winner gets beer. Get out of here, Cleveland. Well, come on up then. Bring, come up. Yeah, if you said you were coming in, come in, come up. All right, that's one.

I'm going to go on my phone. All right, we have our two. This is... I want to CID. I want this confirmed. As you know, I tend to write many of the trivia games. This is a Dave Lozo original. So batten down the hatches, folks.

Let's see. I'm looking for Brian and Rich. Are you Brian or Rich? Brian? Ladies and gentlemen, Brian. Hello, Brian. Brian is resplendent in Toronto Maple Leafs gear. What's that?

Wait. Wait, is Rich here because this guy is not rich. If your name happens to be rich, it doesn't count, though. You have to be the rich from the... Are you the rich? Get your ass up here. It was a good try, though. Pick any chair you want.

Any chair you want. Sit down. Welcome. What's your name? Brian, good to meet you. Man, he tried to steal your spot. Welcome. Rich, come have a seat.

Oh, do you have a... Fuck, sorry, here. Take this mic. All right, so here's what you're going to need. You're going to need these three pieces of paper. Greg's also going to need these three pieces of paper. Greg's going to be the van of white for this. He's going to be the person who reveals game show Thursday.

Who is correct and who is not correct. You want to just pay attention to the thing there? Usually, like, we have a clever name for it, like tacos, chakos, or narcos. But, like, there's no real clever name for this. I'm going to mix it up. I'm going to go crazy. So here's the game, because we wanted to be local. I'm going to give you guys a name, and you have to tell me if this name is a Dallas

Stars draft pick. Yeah, this is local, baby. A Dallas Cowboys draft pick. Or a character from Walker, Texas Ranger. Whoever gets the most, whoever gets the most right, I'll buy you a beer. Or maybe even two if you dominate. We'll see how good. You go 10 for 10, you get two beers.

So here's the first name. Oh, yeah, give these guys mics. Where are the mics? Did Stephen Johns take the mic home with them? It's a well-organized podcast we have here. Okay, here we go. First name. Boomer Knight. Boomer Knight. Who do you think it is? A cowboy pick, a star pick, or a Walker, Texas Ranger.

If you're not on the stage, you're not playing the game, sir. What do we do? Just hold it up? Just hold up your answer? That is correct. Walker, Texas Ranger. Boomer Knight was played by Hulk Hogan in 2001. Hollywood Hulk Hogan? or? That's, uh, what's that question?

Hollywood Hokogen or? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right. All right. All right. Number two. Nick Bootland.

Nick Bootland. Nick Bootland was a Dallas Stars draft pick. I'm starting to think I should have had a tiebreaker set up when these guys go 10 for 10. All right. Number three. Stars pick, Cowboys pick, Walker, Texas Ranger character. Austin Smith. The correct answer is Dallas Star's draft pick.

Three, two. He was a 2007-fifth round pick, and I never heard of him before, so I'm sure he was terrible. He played in Europe, just like me, where I starred for the Swedish League team, Fleurgen version. All right, here we go, number four, Deke Powell. Deke Powell.

The correct answer is Walker, Texas Ranger character, and we're tied again. Deke Powell was played by Dean Norris, the sex gift guy, who also did other stuff, I guess, right? Yeah, he also wasn't breaking bad, but he was the guy who wanted to find some sex gifts. So now it's 3-3 here through four names. Number five, Al Cleveland. Owl Cleveland.

Wow, you guys were both correct. It was Dallas Cowboys pick. Yeah, I forgot. I just want to do it for the people here. You can everyone else at home. You should have come here. You guys lives out. So we're 4-4 through 5 picks.

Cody Conway. Cody Conway. Wow, you're both wrong. Cody Conway was a Walker, Texas Ranger character played by. Is anyone who played Cody Conway? Oh, you people call yourselves Texans. Rowdy, Roddy, Routy Piper. He was a good actor.

I don't want to say anything bad about Roddy Piper. Rest in peace. B.J. Ronson. B.J. Ronson. B.J. Ronson. B.J. Ronson. B.J. Ronson was a Walker, Texas, Ranger, character. And you know who played him?

Frank Stallone. I've never seen a single episode, but it seems like a great show now that I went through all these people. So what are? We were tied 4-4 here, and we have three more, three more. I forget which ones I did. working this off as I go.

Justin Cox. Justin Cox. C-O-X Justin Cox. Dallas Stars' draft pick. The lead. So now it's 5-4. Can we pause on the fact that he had to spell

Cox? Just so you guys know, it's not, you know, Cock. It could have been C-O-C-H-S. It's the traditional spelling of Cox, not like many cock. So what do we have? We have two more left here. Two more.

Thank you for that. That was good to clarify that. So if you get this right, you get this wrong. It's over. You win. You can clinch it right here. Larry Savage. Larry Savage.

Larry Savage. It could be pronounced Savage. I have no idea. Folks, we are tied. Dallas Cowboys draft pick. Eighth round, 1977. Oh, no, no, seventh round, 1980. Yeah, there's one left.

I think I know which one it was. I'll say it, and if I said it already, just tell me I said it already. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Marco Rosa. Marco Rosa. Don't look over at him and try and play for the tie. Come on.

We're tied. He was a Dallas Stars draft pick. So I really wanted to count up how many Dallas Stars draft picks there were since, like, 2001, and have that beauty over under the tiebreaker. All right, I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. Four. Eight. Seven is the correct answer.

Both of these guys get a beer. They both did really well. Do you want to... Do you want a copy... Do you want a copy of my book or a Stanley Cup t-shirt? You won't offend me if you say the T-shirt. Or do you just want beer? Then you want the T-shirt.

Because you already have my book for the fucking... you know, just to let you guys know. He didn't reject the book. He wanted, okay. I own your book as well, so. That's great. I'm happy everybody has the book. Thank you, gentlemen. Round of applause for these guys. Free beers for those gentlemen. Or the other thing. Or what did you call the game? What was the name of the game? Something, whatever, and some other thing. It doesn't really matter.

That's one of two game shows we're going to play tonight. By the way, I don't think we mentioned about what's happening here. So after we get done with the show proper, there's going to be a Q&A just for the room. Also, we've come to find out a fact about this room, which is that we have it until 2 a.m. Eight hour podcast. Finally, I can give you my feelings on season seven of Friends. So if you were like, hey, why don't they ever ask multi-part questions at these Q&As? Now is your chance.

The last Jedi. I don't really understand why you This is going to be for I don't care, whatever, we're here forever You can do whatever we want We'll get there 25 minutes into their question And then at the end, all the bank robbers

They stand in front of a fountain. Now, what do you think of my script? That was a joke about how whenever I went to Kevin, I used to, I've been to a couple Kevin Smith Q&A's, and I mean, his stand-up evening with Kevin Smith shit some of the greatest, like, entertainment that you can find. If you've not seen, I don't know why anybody who's room hasn't seen it,

but if you've not seen the soliloquy he had about being hired to write a Superman movie and John Peter is telling him that he has to have a giant spider and also polar bears guarding the fortress of solitude, which Kevin Smith said, but it's the fortress of solitude. Why are there be polar bears guarding it? It's really one of the funniest fucking things you'll receive. But my point was that when he would do Q&A's, There would inevitably, like there would be three good questions, probably about Marats.

And then there would be like one question where it's like, just want to say you're an inspiration, you know, what you've done for all of us. It's so fantastic. I have a script idea. And then you just hear the crowd go, oh, no. And Kevin, to his credit, would fucking humor it. But boy, was it painful. But if you have script ideas tonight, we're here in Phil fucking two. So if you have script ideas, feel free to throw them out there.

All right. I know you guys want to talk about Zubov, but we have to talk about a couple of things. real quick before that. Barry Trots got hired by the Islanders. Yeah. And it became quite apparent that I see a Capitol's shirt.

She's very sad. She's very sad. Be very sad. Yeah, you're very sad. I know, right? Jesus. Yeah. That's fair. That's fair. I accept that. I deserve that. We're sorry. You're very

sad, said all the people in the audience now on their almost 20th year without a cup. So anyways, like the capitals really were going to hold them to that bullshit extension. Like he kind of said on his conference call today that the, you know, that the whole bit of it was if they won the cup based on the contract he signed in 2014, there was a two-year extension that paid him roughly $300,000 more than what he was making. And this was in 2014, before Babcock signed, before Quinville's signed before called Julian sign. And they were going to really hold them to that extension. And he's

just kind of like, no. But I mean, them doing that basically is them saying, we don't want to give you $5 million a year for five years. We want Todd Reardon to take over the team. Yeah, but really? Todd Reardon's here tonight, folks. Todd Reardon. Tell us about Brooks Warpick. Fan of the podcast. But don't you feel like that they decided this a year ago and they didn't really adjust based on what happened in the last like year? Because, like, I understand, like, we were all the same way. We were like the caps can't win the big game. They can't get past the Penguins. Barry Tross is a great regular season coach, blah, blah, blah.

But now you see what he's done. And he's four straight years now. He's the best coach in the league the last four years. He's won the cup. Why not pay him? Do we have any Bruins fans in the audience tonight? Probably not. Oh, yeah?

Oh, okay. Wow, a lot of Bruins fans here tonight. Wow. That was unexpected. This poor gentleman in the star shirt is just getting absolutely destroyed by Stephen Johns and the Boston Ruins fans sitting next to him tonight. Good for you.

There's a very famous bit of scuttlebutt and innuendo around the Bruins when they won their cup, where basically Cam Neely was going to fire Claude Julian. And then at one point, basically, you know, after they won the cup, Claude Julian just basically walked into his office and said, you know, fuck you. Like, I won the cup. Go ahead and fire me now. And they couldn't. And so I thought this, I didn't think the same thing.

I can't picture Barry Trots walking into fucking, like, you know, Ted Leonce's his castle and being like, fuck you, Ted Castle. But I kind of agree with you. Like, I feel like the die was cast earlier this year. And they clearly didn't want Reardon to interview with anybody else. Yeah, Trots didn't feel loved. Now he's like, fuck you. I won the cup.

He can't have me. Yeah, I did it. I think there was room to bring him back for like three years. It may be like 12. Okay, well, I don't know why I said that because the capital's never paid their coaches any money. So, like, you know, he had earned enough money where they weren't going to pay him the formula he wanted. But, like, the islanders are cheap because the islanders have no money. Like, I get the islander side of it.

But, like, the caps, Ted Leonis is swimming around. He's like Scrooge McDuck. He's just, like, he's in the vault. He's backstroking through gold coins. Like, why can he throw some gold coins at his Stanley Cup winning coach? I just think that they've always, like, as I've said before, like, you know, from 98 to Barry Trots, they never paid a coach any money. They hired a bunch of coaches that never had any initial experience. But, like, why would you pay the coaches that don't do something?

shit. Like the coach that does do something, right? Right? Can I get some support over here? Barry Trotz did stuff. Yeah? Two president's trophies. A Stanley Cup? I mean... I was going to say, like, devil's advocate. He made it past the fucking second round once. Now, granted, things went really good after that. But that one time was pretty good, though, wasn't it?

But this ain't like Joel Quenville over here, you know, winning multiple cups for anything. Well, if Barry Tross was coaching a team that had... Taves, Kane on bargain deals, Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith on bargain deals, and Marion Hosa on a cap store convention deal. Stephen John's down in Rockford. I mean, Stephen John's in Rockford was just invaluable to those teams, right? Is he still here? He left, right? Yeah.

But still, like, Stephen Johns was, he was the support system that, you know, that Barry Tross never had. Brent Seabrook was looking over his shoulder and he was like, uh-oh, I better watch it. Oh, that's right. I'm signed for fucking ever. I don't have to worry about anything. They can't trade me either. Like, is Joel Quenville going to win another cup with the Blackhawks? No.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. But Barry Trots, I mean, the cap's probably caught lightning in a bottle this year, and they're probably not going to do it again. But it's just weird to be like, well, we liked Todd Reardon 12 months ago. We may as well stick with Todd Reardon. He's a better coach than the...

When was the last time the honors had a coach that good? What was it? Lobuette. Yeah. I mean, they went from being a guy who looked like an extra on the Sopranos to Doug Waite. And now they went to Barry Trots. How dare you call him an extra? He was a hitman, man.

Jack Cabuano had, he had hitman qualities. Yeah, exactly. He had stains on his shirt. He was the guy who was, like, eating a giant fucking sub sandwich, and he gets that dressing on his shirt. You can never get the dressing out. It's just oil, and it's just terrible. Oh, yeah.

Joel Quentville never had crumbs in his mustache. What are we talking about here? Come on. They're like, buddy, you got to go talk to the media. He's like, oh, shit, you know. Let me see if I can put my fucking top. it would a stain. But the thing with Barry Trotz is,

okay, he's a really good coach, he's better than Doug Wade, he's better than Jack Capuano. Let's say you're John Tavaris. Leave. Right, right, leave. Like, how does having an 80-year-old GM and a new coach who just showed up

like two minutes ago suddenly make you go, I'm not going to test free agency? How? He's the best free agent to go to market in years. Did some Dallas fans say come here to Tavares? Right. Dude, it's like super hot down here. I don't know if you guys know that.

Didn't watch him go to Vegas. No. I just don't understand hockey players who, like, Artemi Panarin, right? Like, he's not going to be a UFA for a full year. And, like, Columbus is like, resign now. And he's like, I don't know. They're like, well, fuck off. You're trading you.

Like, why is that a thing in hockey? This doesn't happen. No one tells LeBron, like, you got to sign right now or you're gone. And he's like, fuck you. And you're like, oh. Okay. I'm sorry. We were only kidding. You can stay for one more year. You guys know you're Cleveland, right? I can't want this podcast. It's dragging Cleveland on stuff.

I don't know what's that about. Lake Erie Monsters. So, oh, so Mike Hoffman was traded twice. And Pierre Dorian, the GM of the senators. Is a fucking idiot. That's correct. Couldn't get a second round pick for him. but Doug Wilson, the GM of the Sharks, could get a second round pick for him. And also he was traded within his own division technically, which was another fuck-up.

Yeah, and then they got, did he get Michael, Michael, Bocker? Michael. Not Mike Botaker, the Orioles pitcher. Mikel Bodker. So one of the things that's been happening a lot lately on the social media's is people, people read about, people heard Don Cherry. words about Mike Hoffman and they're like, you know what? He's, grapes is right.

Innocent until proven guilty. And I'm like, their team just broke a fucking land speed record to trade this guy. Like, I'm not saying there's smoke, but there's some fucking smoke there as far as what went down. Yeah, like if

from everything, as a lawyer, I can speak to this. Like, I know Canadian law very well. And for the Carlson is to do what they did to take out the order of protection, whatever it's called in Canada. Or they sought it, they sought it out or whatever, yeah. Like clearly there was enough evidence for the law, as I like to call it, to say yes, we will give you this order of protection because there probably was enough evidence to show that she was saying.

I know, I know we've mentioned, I think we mentioned it last week, but again, the greatest thing about this scandal is the fact that the first story that they wrote in the Ottawa citizen about it had a picture of my, Mike Hoffman's fiancee as the villainous of a lifetime movie. movie and then they do an interview with the citizen that tell their side of the story and the photo is them in the fucking forest holding puppies it is the greatest. And the best part too is like all the quotes were from Mike Hoffman. Like I don't care what Mike Hoffman says. Oh no no that's not true. There was the quote from his fiance

pretending she didn't know Daniel Winnic was in the league. Oh my God. Like nothing convinced me more that she did it than that. She was like some guy named Daniel Weinick. I don't know who he is. Apparently he plays hockey. I mean they keep telling me there is the fourth line. I don't even think there is a fourth line on these teams, okay?

So that happens. He got traded and Ottawa was a tire fire. Are there any Ottawa fans here? No, right? Oh, right. Wait, what's on the back of your jersey? Boom, he's brave. Oh, shit. He's wearing a Ron tugged that jersey. Aude boy.

That's good work. Say what you will about the Ottawa franchise. but they've had some names, man. Ron Tugnutt, Ratic Bunk. Radic Bunk. Hold on. Hold on. Was Chichua? Yeah, he was a senator.

Matt Dushin is pretty good. Oh, who's the fucking guy I'm thinking of? That's a pretty good. Craig Hannityson. Zach Smith. No, fuck, there's some other crazy great name I can't draw. Peter Sodorikovic?

No, no. Yeah, Sodorikovitch was a really good one, too. Hey, Sodorkevitz. That sounds like a... It'll come to me. Probably not. Where do you think Elya Kovych's going to end up

as we do this show before the draft weekend? Dallas. No, not Dallas. I saw a report like Los Angeles was in on him, but... Yeah. I don't think that's...

I mean... I think he ends up... Vancouver. I think he ends up in San Jose because DeBore is there. and yeah but I mean they just signed Cain so it doesn't make any sense but I think it'll end up there how much how much space do they have how much how much space did they got the space

could they got they got Tavares space so they have enough for Colbuchar but do they have enough for both as like a package deal no probably not then I could see it otherwise like he should go to Vegas go to Vegas go to Vegas man Vegas has room he can be the he can be a top line guy there bump marshes they have a knight who can cut a jet in half. I don't know if you remember that. For his first game, he'll cut the devil's contract in half so he can play for the Vegas Colta Nights. Just comes flying at him.

Do you like the draft? We're here for the draft this weekend. I'm sure I mentioned what it's happening. I get so care less about the draft because it's like a foregone conclusion. Like Ross Miss, Dahlene's going to Buffalo. And then it's a bunch of dudes who like, I've seen like two highlights on YouTube, but that's, I'm going to go, oh, yeah, that guy's going to be great. Yeah, that is by far my favorite thing about the draft. Like, you get to around the 11th pick, and it happens, and everybody in the fucking world becomes a draft expert.

Oh, yeah. There's only, like, four people that know anything about the draft. One of them's Merrick, other one's Corey Prondman. One of them's Chris Peters, who works for ESPN, and then there's probably some other guy, probably Craig Buttons or whatever those name is. Remember when the coyotes traded up to get, who do they trade up with the Red Wings to get? Yeah. And, like, for like, two days it was like, oh, my God.

John Jake is a genius. Everybody becomes a draft genius. It's like the, you know, who would be the team? Like the St. Louis Blues select Juergen-Flehrgen-Bergen from Svetlana in the Swedish League. And everybody's like, oh, Flurgen-Bergan-Nergan, great hands. I mean, first of all, like the best hands.

Wouldn't Spetlana be from the Russian league? He wears skates. He knows what a puck is. Just like an amazing pick. Well, that one guy's, name is Kachuk, so he must be awesome. I've heard that name before, so automatically that guy is going to be like a top line player for 20 years. I don't know. I care more about all the trade stuff, man, because this is the only time of year when NHL GMs actually do their jobs and

make trades and actually try to make their teams. I don't think I ever mentioned it in the podcast. One of the things I always wanted to do, but I figured it would probably get me kicked out of like being a credentialed to NHL guy, and I can't do that now that I work for Disney, is I wanted to take one of those spy microphones. The only ones that have like a little dish. and like the microphone sticking out that you'd find it like an NFL game or whatever, to capture sound on the field. I wanted to take that, stand at the fence at the draft, and just monitor what the GMs are saying throughout the entire night.

So when you see like two GMs go over there and Darren Drager is like, oh, two GMs are speaking. Oh, God. And I'll stick my microphone and point to that, then they're like, yeah, they're just talking about dinner, you know. They're talking about killing Eve. Oh, I love killing Eve. Good show, right? Yeah, great show.

Oh, is anyone watching The Staircase on Netflix, by the way? For those who are watching it, is it impossible not to see John Tortorella as the defense lawyer on the staircase? He looks exactly like him. And it's like, every time he objects, the judge is like, so you're saying that this evidence shouldn't be admitted? And I'm just expecting, that's what I'm saying, Bruxie. You don't admit the fucking evidence is what I'm saying, Broxie.

Is anybody watching Friends on Netflix? Yeah. How about that one where Joey's like, ooh, that was a good one, right? Remember that one? Oh, that's right, right. And then Schwimmer's like, I am not blah, blah, blah, blah.

I can't get divorced three times. Classic swimmer. Oh, so good. All right, let's talk about Sergey Zubov. Bring me the Zubov jersey so you can properly have this discussion. I think we're probably. probably going to have to do this as a case, right? I'll go first because you have visual cues.

Are you literally taking the jersey off your back? Oh, it's a Betman sucks t-shirt underneath. I was thinking about doing this where I'm a cop and you're like, you're under arrest for not respecting Sergei Zuboff and I just question you about why you hate Sergei Zuboff and then I break you and then you admit you like Sergei Zubov. Much respect for the fighting strap, by the way, on the jersey. This is a real regulation jersey. All right. Did he ever, did he play here during the Mooderous years? Now I'm really disappointed.

Because I've never, I've never felt the touch of a Muderist jersey on my skin. What's it like? What does it feel like to wear the jersey? Oh, to wear a Starz jersey? It feels fan-fuckintastic. I feel as, I feel as underrated as Louis Erickson back in the day. Your Honor. Yes.

Tell us, tell us why you think. perhaps the second best defenseman of his error shouldn't be in the hall of fame, Greg. As you know, Dave, it's not the Hall of Good. Right. It's not the Hall of Very Good. It's the Hall of Fame, which actually has no synonymous aspects with the word good. But it does mean famous. And how does one get famous, Dave Lozo?

Totally. It's real easy. You mentioned the actor Dean Norris before. Has Dean Norris ever won an Oscar? No. Has Daniel Day Lewis? Yes. Do we know who Daniel Day Lewis is? of course. Do we don't denour us outside of the sex gifts tweet? No,

we don't. That's because awards, my friend, awards. Awards are the reason why players have fame. So while I respect Sergei Zuboff as a sudden darling of the analytics community and I respect that Sergey Zuboff has two Stanley Cups, I will note

that Sergey Zuboff, despite all of these accolades from these fans telling me how important he is and how Hall of Fameworthy he is, was it a finalist for Norris trophy but once. Right. In the top four for the Norris trophy, but once, or twice, I guess.

I'm fucking, but, but was never, never a winner of the Norris trophy, which to me means that he is not a generational talent. Okay. Which to me means that he's in the dustbin of history. I will say that when it comes, if you went up to a child and said, have you ever heard of the name Sergei Zubov, they'd say no. But have you ever heard of the name Sergei Ganschar?

They would begin spouting off statistics and telling you about the grandeur of Sergei Ganshar. And before I could hear you fucking people, all out there being like, but he played in Dallas. Yeah, so did Mike

Madonna, so did Brett Hall, so did all these other people that are very famous to won lots of awards. So don't give me the anonymity argument, the man was on two fucking cup teams. Okay. What a Madonna win? Our hearts

in mind, sir. That's what Mike Madonna won. And also the hand of Willa Ford briefly. So it sounds like to me the basis of your Sergei Zuboff hate is his lack of awards, correct? That's right. Recognition from hockey writers based on

the East Coast. So Greg, who votes on hockey awards? well the writers mostly okay so you're telling me the same people that could not figure out the position of Taylor hall are the people that you're going to use as the foundation for keeping sergey zuboff out of the hall of fame is that correct that is correct listen i i understand that it's very difficult for defensemen who played in a certain era to which era is that great which era explain the the era in which which era in which

Sergey Zubovov played where he's looking up at Nick Lidstrom and Chris Pronger and Scott Meadermeyer and Scott Stevens and Greg Greg Greg Greg Greg Greg Greg Greg Greg Greg what was what was Scott Stevens first year in the NHL 1982 yeah what was Sergey Zubov's first year in the NHL 1994 that's the same era according to Greg Wischinski 12 years apart he's not as good as Scott Stevens I mean in the I mean Scott Stevens won three cups during the duration of Sergei Zubovas career, including one, I believe one in 2000. Do you believe, do you believe

Rob Blake is a Hall of Famer, Greg? What? Do you believe that defenseman Rob Blake is a Hall of Famer? So, it's a good... So, oh! Nobody throws scallops, by the way. No, I don't want to...

I find... I know where you're going because I'm not visually impaired. I can see you have a visual aid here. Have you not used... I used Rob Blake as an example. Hays to be written out in long hand. Yes or no? Yes or no?

I do not. Your Honor, instruct him to answer the question. Rob Blake, you think Rob Blake's a Hall of Famer, correct? I feel he's a borderline Hall of Fame. I feel the Hall of Fame is littered with people that you could use as examples. Cam Neely, Clark Gillies, Bernie Ferdico. What? What?

What are they were Russian? Oh, don't give you that. What if they were Russian nonsense? Is it perhaps because Sergei Zuboff was a member of the 1993-94 Rangers that defeated the 1993-94 Devils in the Eastern Conference Finals? Do you hold ill will towards him because of that, sir? Not at all. I feel as though, for example, Brian Leach, a defenseman who has been honored throughout his career and is a demonstrably better player than Sergey Zuboff,

belongs in the Hall of Fame. So you're saying that Brian Leach, whose career started 10 years before? Sergei Zubov's career. Is there a reason to keep Sergey Zubop out of the Hall of Fame? What exactly is an era in your mind, Greg? Is it 30 years? Is it 40 years? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Listen, as I typically mark time based on Star Wars trilogies, so I find this line of questioning to be out of line as it attacks my religion. All right, my final question is what does Rob Blake have that Sergey Zuboff doesn't? A Canadian passport.

I saw that joke from the audience. And I believe you're going to probably say a plaque in the Hall of Fame or whatever you would call that. An etching. I'm looking at their numbers here. Before you ask, yes, I did this and yes, my handwriting sucks. I want to, Your Honor, if I could address the court on Exhibit A. It appears as though

someone has attempted to write out a chart but hastily scribbled over one of the numbers because he made a mistake. Your Honor, I say to the court, would you ever allow a piece of evidence that did not have the benefit of whiteout, sir? Just...

No, she has way better hand right. My daughter knows that Sergei Zubov's not a Hall of Fame. Rob Blake. Wow. Holy shit. They're booing your daughter. That's where we've gotten to.

Maybe we should move on because it seems like it's going to get violent at some point. Her first word was Arnett. You realize, like, we're going to invite, like, more people up on stage to stand next to us. Just bringing it full circle. Your attack on Shinerbach, my attack on the devil's stars. They forgot about that by now. All right. So Sergei Zuboff, Hall of Famer.

Sergei Zuboff, not Hall of Famer. Shit. Okay, well, there's that. I rest my case. Thank you, everybody. I'm going to take off the Sergei Zubov jersey. Yeah, you don't, you don't deserve to wear the Sergey Zubov jersey. For the record, I think he'll probably get in.

I feel like there's a groundswell of people reconsidering his career. But I also, you know, that a lot of my feelings, a lot of my feelings on this are based on the fact that I would probably expunge two-thirds of the Hall of Fame as not being worthy. I was just told that Zuboff and Bobby Orr are the only two places. every lead a team in scoring in the regular season that won the cup. Yeah, what's Bobby O'Rever done? Any more caveats there? That would eat cheeseburgers on a Tuesday.

He's no Scott Neutemeyer, who could have had a lot of points if he played on a different team. Oh, I always love that. Oh, but to re-currie your favor, as I wrote on ESPN this week, the Yuri Lennon Award for Best Defensive Winger is my new cause. There you go. that the Selke is limited a fucking standing ovation from three or four people.

The Selke trophy being exclusive to the centers is horseshit and also, by the way, I haven't even noticed, but none of the awards are named for Europeans, and they're a European and two in the league now, so I like all these things. All right, God, what time is it? Let me see here.

I think it might be time to... Yeah, it's probably time for the game show, right? It might be time to get Schlemcode. All right. It is time for everybody's favorite game shows. Shlemcode. We're going to need... I was going to say three people, but now I realized I only have three...

There's one down there, too. So I guess we could have three people, right? We have people on here. Oh, we do? All right. Bring them up, then. Scott, Kevin, and Ryan. I probably should have gotten last names

because those are, like, the three most common names that you could have. Holy shit, there are two people in Atlanta. Thrash Grikes who's coming to the stage. Bring them back. Oh, yeah. We need a fourth mic, right? Yeah, there's one. down there. Here, how's it going? Oh, what is that? You have an Atlanta

Knights hat and you have a thrashers jersey. How's it going? And do you have a knight's hat as well? Okay. What's up, Waz? Scotty Waus, ladies and gentlemen. You want to pimp your podcast? Yeah, a face-off hockey show with me and Johnny Pee in the back somewhere drunk. We'll sit with Sean Lane Laney too. It's weird. You got, you guys stay up here. I'll go down there. I don't have a blog. So Dallas is warm, isn't it? Jesus Christ. Being from North Dakota, it's not the greatest thing. Get out here, it's just humid. I don't like it.

Hey, so where are you guys from? Albuquerque. What's the deal with waffle boards? So thrashers, huh? Hello? Are you holding out hope for a comeback? You look a little like Danny Healy. He looked a little like Danny Healy.

He should have in the jersey, though. Oh, wait. So the guy who looks like Danny Heatley is. wearing the Anandley-Hitley jersey? Yeah, that's like throwing me off a little bit. Here, here you go ahead. Do your thing. All right, so it's time for a slam code, aka the roster game. It's the game in which we challenge you to all name players from certain rosters throughout NHL history. And we go until you can't name them anymore. And since there's three of you, we'll play three rounds. I don't know what one has to do with the other. But we're just going to do that anyway.

So, we're in Dallas. I don't know if you guys noticed. So, as you probably could guess, we're going to do Vancouver. No, I'm kidding. We're going to do Dallas. We're going to do Dallas Stars' rosters. So we'll begin with. Now, I don't have this on paper like I normally do.

So I'm going to rely on the people in the audience to let me know if we have a repeat. answer. I'm going to try to follow as long as I can, but it's been a Shiner Night. So we're going to do what we can. We're going to begin with, of course, what other team, but the, wait, the 1998-99 Stanley Cup champion Dallas Stars. Keep in mind, this is any player that appeared during the regular season based on our friends at Hockeyreference.com. That's Hockey-Refference.com. That's Hockey-Refference.com. So what do your name? Say your names again so people at home can identify you. My name is Kevin.

Ryan. Scott. Okay. Kevin, you're closest to me. In my heart. Like what? You can begin naming players from the Stanley Cup champion 98-99 Dallas Stars. Mike Madonna.

Says here, that's correct. Sir Gizob Well, that's A bit of a cheat, but sure Scotty Eddie Belpour We are rocking and rolling We went through the whole first round

And nobody said Alan McCauley Go ahead Darrell Sador Daryl Sador is correct Yuri Lettin Yury Lettin is also correct Scottie is there any

player that I recently mentioned that you'd like to say now Darian Hatcher. Darian Hatcher is very much correct. He was, in fact, the captain, according to hockey reference. Go ahead. Mike Keene. Mike Keene is very correct, and now I can't believe that we're getting this deep into the game this early.

Dave Reed. Solid. That's also correct. I'm really kind of fucking stunned at one of the names that hasn't been said. yet, I thought this would be a really... Go ahead. Craig Ludwig. That's also correct.

This is a fun... This is fun now. Go ahead. Guy Carbono. Guy Carbino, correct. Daryl Sador. Daryl Sador... Lozo, how do we work that if it was already said?

Is he out? Oh, was it? All right, the crowd says you're out. Daryl Sador was said. Okay, was... Go pliers. Brett Hall. Brett Hall.

was the name I was looking for. Okay, go ahead. Uh-oh. Former Atlanta thrasher, Tony Herkis. The Herkis Circus is correct. Number 41 in your programs, number 41 in your hearts, Scotty was. Roman Turrick. That's correct.

Uh-oh. There's a couple real big names still left on the plate here. I'm sure there are. I'm sure there are. You could just probably say any name that was... I can't remember if anybody said this yet, so I'm gambling. Belfour. It was said.

So that's Scotty Waz's round. We were still looking for Joe Nguendike, Jamie Langenbrenner, the lowest rated player in the history of EA sports, John Chambers. That's true, by the way. I don't know if you guys know that. Like his player rating was the lowest of all. all time.

Brett Severin, Brian Scredland, fucking Pat Verbeek. All right. So, Scotty Waz wins round one of a Shlemcode.

Now, we're going to, we're going to take it back. We're going to take it back old school. We're going to take it back to the year 93-94.

What happened to 93-94? That's right. Dallas got fucking hockey. Sergei Zubov won a cup. Oh. I'm not a fucking man, dude.

The 93-94. 94 Dallas Stars and I'll have you know that there are so many names on this list I had to use my fingers to shrink the screen on my phone

before taking the screen cap of it so you've got a lot of names here good luck Waz will start with you Brad Barry Jesus Christ I'm fucked Atlanta boys

I don't know you might be trouble here All right, go ahead. Yeah, you, no, no. Oh, you want to go reverse? Yeah, we'll go reverse order. Go ahead, Ryan. Thank you, Kevin. Neil Broughton.

Good, Tom. Yeah, that's correct. I'm out of my depth here. Mike Vedano. Correct. All right. Can't go wrong with that. Can't go wrong with that.

Darien Hatcher. That's correct. You, mother. Ryan, you're up? Mm-hmm. David Shlumko. A worthy stab in the dark, but incorrect. Kevin?

Mm-hmm. I know. Richard Matvichuk. Correct. Damn. Was. Andy Moog. Correct.

Kevin. You didn't realize that you were playing the embodiment of the Dallas Stars. Brian Bellows. What is that? Oh, I think that was it. Wait. Wait, you said Brian Bellows? I said Brian Belles.

Wait, what did you say? I said Brian Bellas. Well, that's wrong. Scotty Was is our winner. Shlem code. Now, give us a thrasher roster. I was just handed a note from Dave Lozo, who I assume had run off the stage to take a piss, but it turns out he was... No, who's that too.

Okay, he ran off the stage, take a piss. The bonus round tonight for Shlemcode will be the 2010-11 Atlanta Thrashers. Coached by Craig Ramsey, played in Phillips Arena, finished fourth in the southeast with 80 points. But since we have two guys in Thrashers' jerseys on stage, only appropriate. We play this one. We'll begin with you, Scottie Waz, who is not in a Thrashers jersey. Carri Lettnan.

He was already traded. Carri Lennon. Letton is incorrect. The goalie, oh, wait, I can't tell you who the goalies were. But trust me that I'd tell you, Akari Lettnam was not one of them. All right, Thrashers, boys. Let's go to Kevin next. No, no, let's go to Ryan next.

I'm sorry. Dustin Bufflin. Dustin Bufflin. Dustin Bufflin is correct. Now, I don't know if you guys remember the Thrashers. Half of the winning team. There might be a run-on players here after the Dustin Bufflin mention. Andrew Ladd.

That is correct. Did I say he was the captain? No, I didn't, right? But he is the captain. Okay. Blake Wheeler. What? Blake Wheeler.

Blake Wheeler is correct. Loza just said it's a pretty good team. Tobias Enstrom. Toby Enstrom is correct. He prefers to go by Toby because... Who fucking knows? All right. Chris Thorburn.

Chris Thorburn is correct. Wow. Evander Cain. How dare you, sir? Yeah, that's correct. Andre Pavlik. Andre Pavlik is correct. Alexander Bermistrov.

Fuck you, dude. Fuck you. Alexander Bermistroff is correct, and also his name went over the dividing line on the screen for how long names can be. Ryan? Eric Bolton Eric, what, Bolton? Bolton.

Yeah, that's correct. Someone's got to throw the punches. Mark Stewart. That sounds made up. It's correct, though. You guys really know your checks notes. 2010-11 Atlanta Thrashers.

Boris Volubic. Oh! Boris Volubic is the guy who you might remember got punched in the balls by Sidney Crosby from behind. If you've not seen it, you should

really go on YouTube. Sidney Crosby snuck behind him and punched him in the balls. But he wasn't on that team. God damn it. Yeah, we need one more name for the win. Come on, Rime. This is it. This is it.

This is it. Reach deep. Reach deep into your thrashers' memory banks. Wait, wait, he's doing this for the win? Yep. This is just go with it. Wait, why would you got it wrong? Wait, did he get volleyball out wrong? No, no, no. Oh, fuck you.

Kevin, go for the win here. Former Dallas star Richard Peverely. Fuck, that's a good one. No, he was trained about Boston by then. That year. He played. Oh, he played on that year. Yeah, you're right. Oh, that's correct, yeah.

Sorry, I was so infatuated with With names like Ron Hainzee, Patrick Rissmiller, Rob Shremp. Was Joey Krabb on that team? What, who? Joey Krabb. He was not. KRAB, right? Yeah.

No, he was not. But Nick Andropov was. Brent Soaple was there. And so was, of course, Zach Bogosian, which was the name you probably should have remembered as well. And we should all remember on draft weekend because everybody said he was going to be better than Drew Doughty. Oops. Is there anything you boys want to plug now that you're on stage?

I will... A given. I will plug Atlanta Thrashers fans. You're still out there everywhere. Bless you people. There's three of you right there. I'm actually a Flyers fan, so let's go Flyers. And I already plugged my stuff, so.

There you go. Are you technically... You're a capital's... sympathizer, but you're a flames fan, right? Is that how it works? No, I'm a capital fan. You're a Capitals fan. Scotty's a Capitals fan, and they finally won. Pride like a little bitch. It was fantastic. Did you ever think that you would live long enough to see this day?

No, not at all. I don't think my kid was going to live long enough. That was a multi-layered question about Capitals fandom, nutrition. Scotty and I know each other way back. Scotty took me to a steakhouse in Calgary once. that was so far away from the city, I really thought he was going to murder me. Well, let's not forget the Glenn Anderson story in Ottawa. Have ever told the Glenn Anderson story on the podcast? So we were at the draft in Ottawa and we went to a casino.

No, it was in Montreal. Oh, it was in the casino in Quebec? We went to a casino in Quebec. And he's, so I was sitting next to a dude at the blackjack table and he split on twos, right? Threes. He split on threes. and I'm like you know we were walking out

I of course lost a lot of money because I fucking suck a gambling but it never stops me and so I was like throwing a tantrum like who the fuck splits on threes and Scotty's like you know who that was right I'm like who he's like Glenn Anderson you know potential

he wasn't a hall of fame yeah he was going to be like potential hall of fame or like I'm like so this fucking guy got to play with Gretzky and he wins splitting on threes in blackjack like that's a modicum of luck i can't comprehend

in life all right boys thank you for playing slum code all right lozo what have we before we move forward splitting threes why not if you get two eights do boo boo you have a six

you hit on six you get a ten then what you got sixteen you're ruined it for the table I want to get two eights double down twice get two twenty ones boom I'm rich when I was in Vegas

way too way too often this last couple ones. I got an 11 once and then asked for a card to double down and she drew an ace. And so I had a 12. And then a few hands later, I had an 11. And I said to the dealer, I'm like, I'll double down if you don't draw an ace. And she drew an ace. But then she busted.

And that was the greatest gambling moment of my life. Right. You did nothing wrong there. shouldn't be afraid to double down on 11. Split your threes. Split your twos. Split your, well, not fours. Split your twos and your threes. Yeah.

That's a little tip from your bad gambling friend, Dave. What did we learn tonight, Dave? We learned that Sub-Off is a Hall of Fame. I learned that that guy might follow you back to your hotel room and murder you. Even money that happens. We learned in random Dallas Whole Foods people think that Tyler Say-Gan is Stephen Jones. Yeah, we did. No, no, no, no, no, no, they knew he was Stephen Johns.

They didn't think he was Tyler saying it. Actually, I learned that Stephen Johns will not punch me if I make fun of Jamie Ben to his face, which is fucking great. Thank God. I had no idea how that was going to go. Don't ever tell me I won't ask questions of people's faces because I gave him three reasons to punch me in the face, and he didn't do it. We learned that Rowdy-Roddy Piper and Frank Stallone were on Walker, Texas Ranger.

Yeah, so I went, I went so, like, If you go to the IMDB page for Walker, Texas Ranger, and you go down to, like, all these people who were only on one episode, like, I think, like, Jake Gyllenhaal was on that show. Like, it's an insane amount of, like, really good actors and also, like, Frank Stallone. That show was on the air for, like, 15 years. Everyone from Texas watches that show, right?

Like, I wasn't wrong. No, no, no, no. Wait, so, hold on. Uh-huh. Do you guys hate Houston? Is that a real thing, or? Oh, yeah. How about those Astros?

All right, let me understand, let me understand Texas better, so you hate Houston. Do you like Austin or do you do? Everybody likes Austin. What else is there here? Where are the other cities here? Do you like, oh, yeah, oh, fuck San Antonio. You know, is there a more overrated

fucking thing in the world in the riverwalk? Oh, my God. It's a, it's a fucking, it's a fucking, it's a fucking, it's a fucking mall. Oh, the Alamo's, but that's got history. It's a fucking mall that they spread out over this smelly bullshit river. And it's the, it's the worst. Well, I guess we're never going to do a live show in San Antonio. The river's smelly.

So, okay, wait, wait, do you like San Antonio? I kind of cut you off. No? Really? Houston, like Austin, kind of nonpluss about San Antonio. But there's like an Astros, Rangers rivalry, right? That's a thing. So if there was ever a hockey team in Houston, you guys would hate the shit out of that team, right? There it is.

Come on, Ottawa. Ottawa's got to come to Houston. I want Ottawa and Houston. All right. The natives and others are getting restless. We should probably go to the Q&A. Thus ends the podcast for all you beautiful people at home. Thanks to Stephen Johns and All-Stars. Thank you, Stephen. Thanks to all people who played our reindeer games. And now, from 9 p.m. local time to 2 a.m. The longest Q&A ever.

Every single one of your questions. Everyone gets a question. Everyone gets a question. Although we kind of need someone to bring the microphone over to you. Let's give the people at home what they crave, which is applause and FOMO. Thank you, everybody, for listening. for our live show in Dallas here on Puck SOOP. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons.

We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, eats and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. Puck Sout.