Puck Soup - Ngozi Ukazu and NHL Halloween

Episode Date: October 26, 2017

Greg and Dave welcome Ngozi Ukazu, writer and illustrator of the hockey comic sensation "Check, Please!" to talk about underserved audiences, crowd-sourcing and her take on the game. Plus, discussions on NBC's dumb decisions, Kevin Bieksa's 'Superman Punch,' the Andrew Shaw investigation, the (Sweet) Golden Knights amazing start, coaches that are mending their reputations, Wilford Brimley, jelly beans, the top 10 worst sexy Halloween costumes, Barstool and The Athletic controversies and the perfect costumes for NHL players to wear. Brought to you by Seat Geek!  

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by Kidnap. Hallie Berry stars in the heart-stopping action thriller as a mother who will stop at nothing to rescue her kidnap son. Kidnap, available now on Digital HD and on Blu-ray and DVD on October 31st. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies. his shoes, it's in tools, it's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. I'm Dave Lozo of Vice Sports and many other publications where I freelance for money.

And I'm Greg Wyshinsky of ESPN. And you're in Puckoo. God, I hate that you get to do that every week now. I like the fact that you have to start because you're such an unconfident, Inconfident? I'm a word smith. Incontinent? You lack confidence as a broadcaster.

So I feel like every time you open the show, I feel like it's like the people listening believe it's at gunpoint. You mean I lack confidence? When I start the show, it's like, I'm Greg Wischett. It's like, I'm an announcer, man. I'm inviting you to the announcing show. You're confusing a lack of confidence with a lack of genuineness where you're, hey, Greg Wischinski, the radio man, live here on Sully and the Beans on K-Boston, number one. sports talk show in the world.

But a lack of authenticity is inherent in the job of being a broadcast. No, a bullshit. Do you remember listening to Vince McMahon when he used to play by play on WWF back in the day? And like, Coco Beware would bring his bird into the ring and the bird would like shit all over Nikolai Volkov and then Vince would have to go, ha ha ha ha ha, ha, oh, Coco beware. All right. No, no, no, no. He doesn't actually believe it's fun.

First of all, a bird shitting on someone's hilarious every time. There's no need to be fake for that. Like here when it's like, hey, I'm Dave Lozo, Vice Sports. Nice, nice. Welcome to the show, everybody. How you doing? Hi, I'm Dave. Somebody just revealed himself as owning a damn seagull shirt.

He got at Highlands one year. What's that? You ever saw a damn seagull shirt when you're at the boardwalk and they sell those shirts that are like, they've got like paint on them? And it's just, damn seagulls or darn seagulls if you're a kid like I was when I got that shirt. Fucking seagulls. That's right. The coursing of our society can be traced through the progression of damn seagulls.

Seagulls shirt. Mother fucking Seagulls. Darn Seagulls. Damn Seagulls. Fucking Seagulls. Shit fucking ball ass. Fuck balls. Seagull. Yeah. And finally make Seagulls great again. By the way, sorry if you put this on in front of your kids.

Yeah. In the car. Yeah, but they should know. Seagull suck. That's on me, man. And we mean the birds, not like Peter Seagull or any of, you know, Katie Seagull. Katie Seagull. By the way, speaking of wrestling, I don't like the fact that you wrestling people are claiming Roman Reigns for the motivation for Kevin BX's punch. and not Brad Pitt in the movie where he's in, like, Greece or whatever? Oh, you mean, you mean Troy?

Troy. When he's in Greece or whatever. Whatever that movie was about. I don't know. It was just, it was just basically like Brad Pitt eroticism for two hours, where he walks around with no shirt on, and he stabs like, he does the running jump with the sword. Right.

Thing, staff thing. You mean Babel? Oh, wait, no, you mean Troy when he was fighting people, not in the movie in which it was an emotional journey. What the hell is Babel? Forget it. Point being is that you want to believe that. Brad Pitt, aka Achilles, invented the Superman punch.

Well, doesn't the name of the punch indicate that Superman invented it? Yes. You know, much like Lou Gehrig invented Lugarig's disease. Now, here's the thing. Yes, tell me. When Kevin B.X. landed the Superman punch on Radko Gudis, which is, by the way, the second time he's employed this tactic, people were sending me YouTube of Kevin B.X.

landing a Superman punch on Mike Richards. By the way, when I first saw that, I was like, what a dirty play. What a cheesy, shitty way to fight somebody. And then I saw it was Rocco Gudis, and I was like, oh, that's fine. Yeah, it's fine. You had it coming. It's okay.

Yeah, so for the, the Superman punch is basically like you, you lunge with your fist while lifting up your back leg and, and much like Superman would punch dark side, for example. Just going to say that. This is, this is the sort of punch. Now, what I've come to learn about the Superman punch is that. In your research today. I, again, like, one would assume it originated with the titular superman. man.

The what? But also, you know, it was popularized by Roman Raines as being one of his finishing moves. That's a finishing move in wrestling, punching a guy in the face. Like, back when I was a kid, it was like the pile of driver, the leg drop. Now it's just punching a guy in the face. Roman Reigns much, remember how the rock originated

this thing? No, I was an adult. Let me phrase that. Sean Michaels originated the thing where you have to do something to indicate that you're then going to do something else. So before sweet chin music, his super kick, he would stamp his foot on the ground. I am preparing to do the super kick. I'm loading up my leg.

Here comes the power. Like there's a fucking bar of, like a power bar like you'd have in Mortal Kombat or some shit where he's like stamping his leg and you're like holding down the B button. Yeah, you're holding down the B button to make sure the super kick is ready to be unleashed. And then the rock of course would have to do his whole jibbley ju-rigley roll thing before he dropped the people's elbow where he's running back and

forth, doing the whole thing. And now Roman Raines before he administers a Superman punch, he cocks and loads. his hand, like he's got a pump shotgun hand. Oh, like in 22 Jump Street when they're doing like the breaking through to the ceiling with their fists. That's what he does. And then he actually punches

the ground. Like Superman would, if Superman punched the ground the ground would get all cracked. Right, it would like, you know? Like a spider web when like a rock hits your windshield. Not the rock, but like a gravel of some sort. Yeah. And then that he punches

the ring and now he's like he's like in any roars or something and he's powering up his fist with power to then punch his opponent with the Superman punch but like while he's doing all that can't the guy he's about to punch like put up his defenses an excellent question but completely revealing your ignorance of the sequence of events

this is usually after he spears somebody so the guy he's going to Superman punch has already been felt no no no no with his body you know like uh like he puts his head into his stomach that Well, a shoulder, like a shoulder. Well, that's not spiery. That's a clean tackle.

So he does that. He's felled his opponent. One would assume that this would be enough. But no, you then need to administer the Superman punch to finish the match. Unlike Kevin B. Exa, the Roman reigns of hockey, as we all know. Because no one likes him. Who administered the Superman punch straight off the bat on that fight. Like, that's not the way it's supposed to work.

Well, no, that's when you have to do it. In real life, not in wrestling. it's not real. Like in real life, you have to get that first punch in against the bigger guy, so you do what you got to do. So that's fine. That's totally fine. Right. But in wrestling, like, the match doesn't begin with the stone cold stunner because that would ruin the match. The match would just end there because it's such a devastating maneuver. Although when Mike Tyson was at his peak, everyone thought it was awesome that he knocked out dudes in like 30 seconds. So like, why can't wrestling adopt that? Like the Superman punch. Oh, is he going to finish him in the first minute? Oh, my God, he got him. I imagine if Rowan Raines was fighting Peter McNeely or Michael Spinks. the chance was there that he would administer the Superman punch because he just doesn't want to waste time doesn't want to waste that time But you build it though

You have him like you have Roman Raines Win like 20 matches in a row in 15 seconds And then like Buster Douglas comes in And out of nowhere Like he just messes up Roman Reigns for 10 rounds And wins and it's like the greatest event ever Well it's like There was one guy on Mike Tyson's punch out

Oh by the way spoiler We do a top 10 video games thing on the Patreon at some point Where like you had to hit him Like really quick I forget which character it was. You remember which character it was? The whole point was that the minute he comes out, you have just to start hitting him and hitting him,

hitting him, hitting him, and then they would knock him down. It might have been like Piston Honda. I think it was Don Flamenco. It might have been, yeah, it was Don Flamenco. You had to like left right, him, left, right, him. So you're not wasting time there. You're waxing this guy. The last thing you want is for this guy to put a rose between his teeth

and come and hit you with that uppercut. So you're putting him down and straight away. I can't believe how much we've talked about wrestling so far. But now we're on boxing, the sweet science. The sweet science. Oh, man. So, yeah, Kevin B. X of Superman Punch. It was great. By the way, kudos to Barry Picheski from Deadspin, who once and future guests on this rate podcast came to our live show in Brooklyn, who said what I think is the truth about hockey fans in 2017 when it comes to fighting, which is that he admitted it.

He's like, I rail against fighting. I think fighting's horrible. I'm super conservative on fighting. Don't want fighting in the game. However. Right. I've always said this. When someone lands a Superman punch in a fight, you're.

You have to kind of watch it and maybe even relish that moment. Yeah, like my caveman brain, when I see a dude get punched in the face, I'm like, oh, my God, that was bad. But it was awesome? I hate hockey fights. Was it Tyler saying you had a fight this year where him and some dude just like shook each other's shoulders for 15 seconds? And everyone was like, oh, yeah, I want to see you do that. Honestly, I could do that. I could just stand there with somebody bigger than me for 15 seconds and shake their shoulders and then get it broken up.

Like, those fights are dumb. Do you think that, though, do you think that hockey... Do you think that part of the equation for people who don't like hockey fights as to whether or not a fight is acceptable is the origins of the fight? Like, I think we can all agree that a sideshow fight off a face-off that it just happens because it's supposed to... Like, a fucking John Totorella special. Like, we can all agree that's dumb. We can all agree that a fight in a tie game with three minutes left is dumb. They're all dumb.

They're all dumb in their own way. No, but like this one was, these two guys had on sportsmen like conduct penalties. they're in the penalty box. You know they're talking shit. You know BX is hitting them with some smart trolling. And Gudus is like, Reikl smash! And then they come to the penalty box and then they have a fight.

Like, to me, the origins of that fight are somehow more noble than the sideshow of it. Like, if you had to say, like, for me, the worst origin of a fight is always after a clean hit. I hate that. Yeah, that's the worst thing. It's a guy and then someone's got to stick up for their teammate. I hate that. I hate that more than the sideshow fight. At least a sideshow fight is with two guys that.

that in theory know how to fight. And in theory, they're there for the side show. Yeah. Like, when, when star players, like, this wasn't even considered a fight, but it was that Penguins Rangers game where Shattankirk and Malkin, I want to say. They both landed closed, bare-handed fists to each other's face, and it was like two minutes for roughing. Like, it's like, even in, like, hockey, if you're, like, rich and famous, you still

get lesser penalties for crimes. It's amazing. Well, what's amazing is that BXA also had a hand, literally, in the other, you know, story from earlier this week, which was the, the, you know, the, you know, Andrew Shaw thing. We'll get to the other side of that equation a second. But, like, Shaw was pissed off and rightfully so that, like, BX had just sucker punched him. Right.

Just sucker punched him. That was a sucker punch. Yeah. The goodest thing was just more. But, like, Shaw was livid for a good reason because fucking BX, that was, I mean, what do you have to get to get an instigator palomiest league? I know. You know, I think he got a double minor for roughing.

But didn't, didn't they, didn't it balance out? Didn't, like, nobody get a power play out of that? It might have been that. But, like, the point being is that, like, Shaw was, like, Shaw was clearly, like, goaded into doing what he had to do. because he just got punched in the face by somebody in front of the net. And everybody was like, well, hockey. Yeah, like, that happens a lot where, like, a guy, because, like, referees are cowards.

We all know this. And there'll be, like, a scrum in front of the net. And, like, one dude will just, like, crack a dude in the back of the head six times in a row. And then, like, on the seventh one, the guy kind of, like, just throws up his fist into the other guy's face. And the referee points at both of them. And it's like, all right, shows off. They're nothing to say here. Both he at the who scow.

And the guy's like, wait, six to one. Where's the justice here? Oh, no, no, you. Oh, and then the fucking guy in the booth every time. Oh, the referees always get the guy who retaliates. That's why I love that highlight from the Vancouver, Boston Stanley Cup final, where Marchand is literally just rabbit-punching Sadeen in the face. And there's a look on Marchand's face.

It's just like, can I just keep doing this? I mean, like, he just hits me once and it's two and two, right? I mean, I'm not that, like, can they not see this? Am I, is, am I behind Chara? Is that why no one can see? I know, right? Because I'm behind Chara? It's like, yeah, it's like in the, is it in the end of Jones?

and then happens where like he's being a tough guy and he doesn't realize they're like the entire entire army's behind them that's the opposite actually well no he's also running away like he well it's also the han solo thing where he runs down the hallway with chewy and then the stormtroopers will come back the other way yeah um yeah the shaw thing which probably addressed that like uh andrew shaw said uh that's not fucking fair in the penalty box it gets shown on the air and then gets clipped by somebody who does the just asking the question yeah did he drop the homophobic slur that got him suspended and had him on the apology tour and now it's saying erin judges on steroids and now he's in LGBT impact so like uh so that had that happened I give the NHL credit for

looking into it because I feel like there was a time in the recent history of this league where they would just not give a shit like the last playoffs when when Ryan gets off called someone a sea sucker yeah yeah well that's a different thing that's that's that's where like instead of instead of identifying it which as what it is which is the homovovic slur or a common in which you're using, you know, homophobia as a weapon against a referee that you didn't like his call. You have old school guys in the NHL Colin Campbell who probably like, but I use that word all the time, you know, and just like... I call my butler that every day. What's wrong?

Jeeves doesn't seem to find it to be offensive. So they see it, they see a point of demarcation between a slur and what Getslough said. But again, they were wrong and he should have been suspended, but because they've established that as the norm. And it was the playoffs. credit for looking into the Shaw thing and they interviewed all the Yon Ice officials, they interviewed the penalty box guy, they interviewed Shaw, and

I think they got it right. I don't think he used it. I think, like, I'm kind of airing on the side of this guy having figured out a thing or two about what he said and why it was wrong and actually trying to not do it anymore. Like, I'm, I'm kind of going with that. It would be not the first time when I've

assumed rehabilitation for a player and then they'd go and do something fucking stupid. But in Shaw's case, like, benefit of the doubt now. And I feel really bad that like I think it's a contingent on hockey fans to press the NHL on these issues and let them know that that shit has to change, that it's not right and that yeah, we should fucking throw the book at guys that are using these words in these situations, especially because cameras are everywhere now. Which book? Specifically. The book of rules in theory. Oh, there's a rule book for the

NHL? Well, I mean, war in peace for sheer tonnage, I guess. I'd go phone book because it doesn't leave any bruises or evidence. Ah, but the, uh, the, uh, the rub is there are no more phone books. Just take my, go to, go to yelp.com on my computer and just throw it at him. I would, I would strap him to a pay phone. Um, but no, but I think in this case, like, I think we need to be kind of, like, it's, there's a way to approach the Shaw thing. And I think the way to approach it was, I don't know, did he say this thing? Like, yeah, but instead it was people being like, Andrew Shaw once again It looked like he said it though

I can see I can see But it's wrong We're not lip readers I know but I mean People that have preconceptions of what this guy Maybe said But like it's totally fucking unfair to the guy to do that It's not totally unfair

He kind of lost that idea of the benefit of that out Once he did it the first time Like for sure doesn't mean he necessarily has to be convicted Every time you see him moving his mouth But isn't that the whole point of rehabilitation Like isn't that the whole point of this is to change behavior That was what a year ago Yeah, it was a year ago.

And in that time, he went through the entire summer where he's, like, apologizing the people working with You Can Play, became an ambassador for You Can Play. Like, I think the guy deserves some modicum of benefit of the doubt that he's learned something. But even, like, let's say you go to prison and you get released. You still got to go visit your PO every couple months to make sure you're still on the up and up. You don't just automatically... And that's why I think we can be the PO, but the PO's job is not to be like... That's parole officer, by the way, for those of you don't watch the law.

The P.O's job is not to be like, hey, were you in a casino? Yeah. Oh, obviously you tried to rob it. Like, that's what we basically did to Shaw. No, Danny Ocean was not allowed to go to the casinos. That was part of his release from prison. Okay, were you in the parking lot of a casino? Yeah. I, my car, I got lost and I needed to, I was texting and I needed to pull over while I was texting because it's against a lot of text in the car. Yeah. Well, were you trying to rob the casino? Well, no. Maybe he was casing the casino for the parking lot. Well, even know it was a fight night. And on a fight night, There's $150 million in the vault between the Mirage of Blasio and the MGM Grand. Why did you go see Rusty? Isn't Rusty one of your known associates? But, like, no, he didn't say it. But I can understand why people in that situation would think he did.

Because, I mean, yeah, we're all amateur lip readers. We don't know for sure. But, like, when he said it the first time, I remember watching that from like 50 feet away in a bar. And I was like, ooh, I think he just said the magic word. But outsports, you see the outsports thing? No, I didn't see what they were. They brought in, like, a lip reader. And she was like, same thing.

Like, yeah, you didn't say it. The word he said ended in an R. So whatever he said, he didn't say that word. Yeah, but I mean, he's also kind of dumb. So it's possibly he thought that other word ended up an R too. That fucking fucker. I mean, I think we should just ban all ban language on the ice. Let's just be peaceful and be nice and kind to each other.

Those are the people that I can't make. I can't even where people are like, what, you can't even say that word anymore? Like, no, you can't. What, fuck? No, the other one. Oh, oh, yeah. Like when the Getslapp thing went down. Oh, well, you can't see it.

that anymore. Like, you can say it if you're in traffic and you're like, oh, that cab cut me off. You can, you can, you can say that about a person if, like, they give blow jobs professionally and they're proud of their career. Right. Like, for instance, like if you're, oh, oh, and so the other caveat is that they're proud of their career. Yeah. And so they're not enslaved into that. Exactly. Okay. Like, like, let's say you're Joe Buck talking about Clayton Kershaw. You have his balls in your mouth the entire time you're calling the game. Like, he's, like, he's, like, let's, like, let's proud, he's proud to do that for Clayton Kershaw and his curveball. I understand

now. Seriously, it's tough watching, fucking, stuff watching Fox baseball, man. Well, you know, as I said, cameras are everywhere. You know where NBC's cameras weren't this week? I fucking... They weren't in Pittsburgh for one of two times

Sidney Crosby will play Connor McDavid this season in theory, provided the health of both players. That's so bad. Yeah. It's so bad. NBC put on Buffalo and Detroit, two cities that, without question moved the needle locally as far as ratings go, which is the only thing NBC cares about, which is trying to save their season averages and trying to squeeze out whatever ratings points they count

to have to American cities rather than showing the best player in the world and the heir apparent playing in a game that same night. Connor McDavid and Leon Dryside? I wouldn't say Leon Drysett was the heir apparent at this point. He only had one good seats. It's the best player in the world still. PhWA voters said differently, Greg. Did that?

As recently as last season. Ah, no, you see, that's a common misconception. The Hart Trophy is not for best player in the world. It's the most valuable to his team. Oh, boy. Sidney Crosby is blessed on being a team with many good players. Hmm. Much like Jose Altoe in baseball.

Not Mila Lucci. And Aaron Judge isn't. I'm not going to make us a baseball podcast, but... Everybody had their say on this, and we'll say it, too. It's a fucking disgrace. It's a disgrace. It's a disgrace that the rights holder for the NHL in... in the United States

doesn't have Sidney Crosby versus Carter McDavid. Again, it's not Crosby versus Matthews or Matthews versus Eichol. It's not a situation where you have a multitude of matchups between these two superstar players

during a season. These guys don't see, they're in different conferences. You have a responsibility to show every time those two players play. Now, if you're like, well, shit man Connor got hurt his rookie year he wouldn't have been in this game whatever that's the risk you run you have to show that game it's you just have to I mean it's it's I feel like we shouldn't talk about this for more than nine seconds because I don't even know what else to say besides it's just stupid

what's stupid is me because my editor advice he's like you want to do something on you whether slow start and I was like well they're playing Pittsburgh tonight so let me let me watch that game I want to get a feel for them yeah and at like four o'clock I saw like Sean Gentilly from uh, Sputty, uh, Pittsburgh post I know, Sporting news is my

media goes to and I saw him quote tweet the NHL thing where he's like, yeah, it'd be great, this game was on national TV and I was like,

yeah, but hold on, the NHL thing for the record is the NHL's Twitter account right of like millions upon millions of followers tweeting out

Connor versus Sydney you're going to want to watch this one. Give me $140. $140. Or your local center ice package. Do you think that, hold on. Like,

yeah, I do. Sinister, do you think the sinister intention is that they put this on the pay-per-view? So you have to get the center ice to watch it? How long have you been around the NHL? A long time. And would you say that their motivation most times is just to get as much money out of people as possible in that exact moment? It is, but I think it's also to try to get as many people to pay to, you know, to go to games and watch the sport and increase the fan base, increase the customer base.

Well, based on the NHL attendance figures, every arena is like 95% or more. That's right, baby. Because those aren't fake numbers. Those aren't. People are going to Canucks games. Oh, completely. I mean, it's not as if they counted tickets distributed for the last 25 years, and that's how they gin up these attendance figures.

The problem with the NHL for years and years and years is that it's a niche sport. It's a regional sport. And the problem with the NHL is that it runs itself that way. If you're a national or in this case, international sport, you don't think twice. You put penguins, oilers on both times they play each other on national TV. You get Russ and Duran. on against each other every single time. If you can put Oklahoma State and Golden State on national TV every time they play,

you can put Edmonton and Pittsburgh on. Besides the fact that now Edmonton, I mean, right now they're off to a bad start, but in theory they're going to be worth a damn at some point. And challenging for the cup final that you'll be showing on your very network come June. But even if they're not, like you stole. Have the two-time defending Stanley fucking Cup champions with Sidney Crosby on the team. Right, like whoever the Penguins play should be a marquee matchup anyway. And McDavid ties the game late.

I know. Oh, they're just so bad at what they do. And I flipped over and it's like, here's Detroit trying to get their shit together. They can score a goal. That's Buffalo's first shot in 11 minutes. Phil Housley wins his first game as Buffalo coach, despite starting almost a month ago.

Come on. It's a bad, unwatchable game, too. First home game. Yeah, so NBC letting people down. Connor was pretty good in that game. I mean, the great thing of Connor versus C, did versus Sid versus Sid versus Ovi back in the day. It's like they actually play against each other.

Like their lines were matched for most of that game. And they were at a stalemate until Connor. Again, and it's funny. Like, I said like, wow about that McDavid goal. And someone's like, every player in the league can do that. I'm like, okay, but there's less than three minutes to go in the game against Matt Murray who had stopped every other shot he had faced. And a dude made a play.

Like, that's beautiful. That's what you want. Hardly ever happens in hockey that the star player. does that in a key moment. And then it does happen, and unless you're watching it on one of the many pirated feeds that I'm sure people were using instead of paying for Center Ice last night.

If Connor McDavid falls in the woods and no one's around to see it, did it even happen? Does Tony McDavid get the credit he deserves? Colon? My column? My entire timeline, Tuesday, was videos of Austin Matthews with the easiest fucking backcheck and the history of backchecking. Yeah. To catch on. Andre Coppatar

was one stride ahead of him with the puck, basically in front of his own net and he caught him at the other blue line. The guy without the puck is always going to catch the guy with the puck in that situation. Oh my God. They should teach this in hockey school. This is incredible. Apparently you can check backwards. Should we rename it Matthew's checking instead of back checking?

Has anyone ever done this before? As you can see here, Pomaville came down the ice. Then he got Austined by Granland. He Austin to stick from behind and then Austin the puck away. and then Matthews did the other way. Austin, Matthews, Leifes, Sends, game time, now. The Golden Knights, as we do this podcast this week. Sweet Golden Knights.

Seven and one. Continue to roll. They beat the Blackhawks. I don't know, man. I'm not like, I'm like, they. They're down to Oscar Danzquez, their goalie. They're on the... I mean, I know that it's the homestand,

and I think there's a lot of that inherent in this start. You think, like, Jonathan Taves and Patrick Kane and ran a craps table off, like, 5 a.m. the day before. Oh, I think the Vegas flu is a very real thing, but I think we need at least two months before determining what that means. They're not going to make the flash. I don't think it's Patrick Kane and Jonathan Taves. We have to worry about it.

I was talking to somebody the other day. Ryan Hartman. I was talking to somebody... What? Wait, hold on. Let me finish. I was talking to somebody the other day, and I'm like, you and your sources.

Let me throw this by you. It's a gentleman who works for an international publication. Oh. And I said, dude, let me throw it, roll this by you. Do you think the European guys that have never been to Las Vegas are going to get the Vegas flu? Like our buddy. Remember our buddy? Yeah.

Right. Our buddy that we met from Finland. Yeah. He was up to like five of the morning, not even gambling. He just hanging out. And he said, yeah. That's why I, my pet theory, and again, we're going to need at least two months before we can really determine. in this, is not to worry about Patrick Kane, which may be the first time that sentence has

ever been uttered. No, you should still worry about Patrick Kane. But worry more about the European guys that are going to fly in there at night and they're going to hear you two's city of blinding light playing in their heads as they drive down this on the team bus to whatever hotel they're staying in. And then they go out and then they're out until five in the morning. They're like seeing the lock on their door to get back in, Alex Radulov style after they break curfew.

All right. So they've, they beat Buffalo and overtime. I mean, Detroit, Detroit's like European Central, and Detroit kind of throttled them. Zetterberg. Oh, you okay? Yeah, I'm still up the chair. Zetterberg. Yeah, but they're old Europeans on Detroit.

Oh, like, old guys don't want to get tanked and play cards with that. Zetterberg's been to the NHL Awards. He doesn't give a shit about Vegas. That's a good point. Yeah. That is a good point, Mikey. Thank you. Good point.

Hedig Zataberg. It's not up until 5 in the morning playing cops. Hendig Zedberg has tacked into his bed, king size, sheets fitted. And he's got the pay-per-view channel on to wheel him to sleep with Mario Lopez telling you what's on extra. You think he sleeps on the covers over or under? Under the covers, Nike. And Jeff Flash still comes in and talks him in. Vegas is the anti-Rangers because Vegas has a bunch of home games in October and they're winning them.

Rangers have a bunch of home games in October and they're pooping their pants every night. And now Vegas is... Mr. Pooppy pants? You don't make the playoffs in October, but you can miss the playoffs in October. and Vegas is not missing the playoffs as of yet because they've gotten 14 out of 16 points. They've collected, they've banked some points, man. Yeah, it's one thing with your bad. Bank the points.

Legitimately, we are all waiting for the bottom to drop out. And again, I still think the most fascinating thing about the start is that if they are actually good, are they going nice, actually good, T-shirt, coffee book? I think the real question is as we get deeper into the season and someone comes to call in for James Neal, like, do they, are they like, no? I have to. They have to get everything they can for James. There's a plan.

There's a plan in place, but what happens to that plan if they're actually good? Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Do I really look like a guy with a guy who would trade Philip Forsberg from Martinira? The problem is going to be that they're banking points and then they're going to fade and they're not going to fade far enough back to get like a top two pick. They're going to pick like eighth. Yeah. And they're going to get a guy that's not really a difference.

Ultimately, I think that Foley, the owner, for those who don't know. is probably happy that they're light in the city on fire right now and getting people really excited about the team. I'm sure it's helped merch sales, ticket sales, everything. Like, I'm sure he would, even if it may ultimately fuck with the process, like the idea of going into that market and immediately making that impact rather than being like one in 14 to start the season, like an expansion team should be.

Like I think he wouldn't trade this for the world. But like, yeah, but if all the tickets were sold already, I mean, you're not selling more season ticket packages, right? Like people are still going to show up from like other cities to hang out and drink and stuff. I wonder what the crowds were like for the Chicago game. Like I wonder if that was mostly Blackhawks fans because it was mostly Red Wings fans. It was mostly Bruins fans. Well, I tell you, if all the tickets are sold for the game that you want to go to in Vegas,

there's only one place to turn, my friend. What, where, where? Our friends at Seat Geek. Let's say you're a fan of the Blackhawks and you were there to watch them play Vegas and you're like, I want to go to a game. You walk up to the box office. You're like, no, my friend. The Golden Knights are the hottest ticket in town outside of Carrot Top and perhaps David Copperfield.

Sleen Dion, she probably does all right there. I'm sure she does. I'm sure Brittany does great too. She continues her wrong there. If you want to get tickets, you must look elsewhere. Well, elsewhere, my friend, is Seekek. There's nothing like seeing your favorite team or musician in person and buying tickets to sporting events and concerts can be very complicated, but there is a better, simpler way to buy with Seekek.

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So the Devils? No, for the Devils Vegas and Vegas, are going to go? I don't know. You're talking about it. I'm debating whether or not to go. I might go as a fan. You want to go back. I know you do.

I want to go back. I wanted to go back the minute my plane landed back here. You left too early. Yeah. I can be anywhere with just a few taps. I can instantly find seats. Best of all, listeners to Puck Soup get $20 off the first Seekek purchase. Just download the Seekek app today. Enter the promo code S-O-U-P that spells soup. And you can get $20 off your first Seekkeek purchase. Again, we love when you guys and girls go to these games on the Seekek deal, tweet us the photos, at them on the Twitters. Because you know what? At the end of the day, they really like it too. And it helps us continue to get... Makes us look great. It makes us look awesome.

promo code super $20 off your first Seekek purchase, download the app today. That is Seek geek, ladies and gentlemen. Vegas. Vegas, Vegas, man. Vegas, Vegas, I love it. I want to go back right now. Speaking of the Golden Knights, Gerard Gallant, in my opinion, and I shared my opinion on ESPN.com. ESPN.com.

This week is one of the people that is mending his reputation, reversing chorus, fixing what was broken as far as the perception of him, fired after 22 games by the Florida Panthers. The last of we saw him, he was waiting for the cab of shame. And then he goes to Vegas. We figure, all right,

that's fine. We'll see you in three years when that team's worth a shit. And then lo and behold, like, he's orchestrating one of the greatest stories in sports right now. I never thought he was a bad coach. I always thought it was weird that, like, he would go to Vegas.

I remember when he got fired, everyone was like, well, he was going to Vegas. And I was like, Yeah, chill, bro. He's going to take a real NHL job. And then, like, two months later,

hey, I'm happy to report, I'm coming to Vegas. I don't, it's still too early for me to kind of give him tons of credit because they're not like, they're winning all their games at home. They're not really, their possession numbers aren't great. But like, yeah, 7-1. You can't say anything bad about them. I mean, you can, but you'd be wrong. Well, there's a couple other coaches that I want to get your take on that are in kind of that same boat.

Oh, we can finally get to my, well, I see, I, go ahead. do it. Jared Bedner. Yeah. So I think in one way, Jared Bedner is continuing the grand tradition of Colorado avalanche coaches that are made to look great based on how well his goal tender is playing. Right. Well, I'm not missed most of the season last year.

Yeah, like, Varley's won some games for them, and his say percentage at last count was near like 930 in like six games. Like, he's playing really well. Right. But I also think that, you know, I felt Bedner won at every level, and I was kind of a fan of this guy. and I felt like last year was such I mean like what the fuck you're supposed to do

in that situation? You got hired in like October Yeah you know You had like no time Patrick Waugh lost a smile He quits the team Bedner gets on board and has a very short runway

To get to know that roster And get to know those players And I feel like He's more in control of that team right now He's making better decisions With that roster right now And he's managed And I think Dushain probably deserves credit

All this as well To put out the Matt Dushain Fire And not have that be a lingering distraction at least through the first month of the season. And as a result, they're all right. They're like, they're kind of middling, but not disastrous. And I think that's the best you could hope for Colorado at this point.

But, like, that's, like, my goal in life is to, like, set the bar so low for myself that when I achieve mediocrity, people are like, wow, great job by Dave Lozo. He's amazing. It's like, are you sure he's just not really terrible and you're just kind of, like, lowering the bar? No, no. You don't see the job he's doing. Oh, my God. The last time I saw Dave, like, he looked like a 48-point team. but now it's like maybe

I don't know like 500 I mean he could be like a 79 point team like that's that's pretty great he's a lottery team but like the outer skirt to the lottery and not like like the most balls and someone's like someone's like wait the most balls I was waiting for that

my my Randy Marsh when he when he gives himself the testicular cancer on South Park yeah yeah I just he's he's I'm gonna give that one like a incomplete I'm not ready to judge yet all right sure enough should we should we do the one where

you were pretty harsh. John Hines. Who was the guy that yelled at you last year? Remember, John Hines is... There's an email? Like a military guy?

Like the Paul Haman of John Hines. But he was like an army guy. Like you signed this thing like Canadian ROTC or something? Like he wasn't his agent, but he was kind of his manager. Why do you hate the troops, Greg? Well, yeah. Specifically of the Canadian troops. Listen, I'm trying to figure out this about Hines.

And I'm fully willing to give him a Mayacolpa if I'm wrong about him. This is still a team that's, that's, shooting percentage is way out of whack as far as what it'll end up being. Yeah, their PDO is like 103. Yeah, they're like third in the league right now in PDO. Their goals for per game is ridiculous. It's like 3.75 compared to 2.20, basically on average under Heinz in the last two seasons. The Nico Mojo effect.

Yeah, I mean, like, when you think about this devil's team. Don't temper your enthusiasm. Do you think that it is a situation where he finally has the personnel to fit the system? even though the system is still giving you less than similar possession numbers. Or do you think it's a case that just like they're playing completely over their heads right now and it'll all even out and then Heinz will be fired after the year? I think it's kind of more the second one just because it's just such a crap defense group. Like I don't, I can't trust a Ben Lubjoy, Damon Severson led grouped, Andy Green,

over 82 games to get me 96, 97 points. The forwards aren't bad. Fords are good. Forwards are fine. They're going to get Travis Zajak back. Pavlzaka was good for a minute. Yeah, like Pavlzaka shows up every now and again. Nico finally scored a goal.

But again, I go back to those first two years with John Hines where he was trotting out like Sergei Kalinin and Jordan Tutu on the power play. That's how little talent they had where they had to throw that guy out, those guys out there. And now Corey Schneider, of course, after carrying the team during those two years, is like, I'm exhausted. I can't do this anymore. Now you have to rely on freaking Keith Kincaid. Corey, why don't you?

you know, watch, let a few buy. There's this kid Austin Matthews that we've got on. No, I've got pride. And then last year, whoops, whoops, whoops, whoops. Corey Schneider's safe percentage, since I wrote a thing about him in the middle of, I think, last season, or was it two seasons ago, whenever it was,

I wrote about him as like a heart trophy. I'm like, look at this team and look like he's done. Right, when they were in the playoff line. I remember that. And then they played the Flyers one night, and he gave up six goals, and I think his say percentage since then is like 852. I've run him into the ground. Dave Haxstall. What do you think about that,

reputation. That's a guy who's, that's a guy who I think has been unfairly maligned in that city, because I think he's a good coach. And that might just be me cheerleading to have the NCAA guy do well, so more NCAA guys get their shot. Why? What do you care about NCAA? Because I, because I like the, listen, as a blogger who now works for ESPN, I don't like the idea of people just because of where they came from, not getting gigs. And I feel like there's a lot of that when it comes to, it's a copycat league. Like one NH, HL coach does well, they all get hired. One NCAA coach says, well, they all get hired. Like, that's what I want.

I just think it's his haircut. I just think Dave Haxthal has great hair. It's amazing. Like, if I were to have hair, I think I would pick, I would go Jack Capuano's hair for his age now. And then, like, when I was Dave Haxthaw's age, I'd go with the Dave Haxhaw hair. Dave Haxdahl looks like in a 1980s corporate thriller, maybe based on a Grisham book. Oh, yeah. He's like Mike Douglas in Wall Street.

He kind of looks like the guy at the company or the Lerckstallel. law firm that it turns out is the villain. He's the guy that tells Wilford Brimley where to catch Tom Cruise as he's running through the law offices. He's the guy. Right. He's the guy that Tom Cruise befriends in the company. And then like when push comes to shove and like the president of the company, Gene Hackman or whatever, is like, we got to find this guy. He has the secret file. And then Dave Haxthal's like, I know where to find him. No, it's not even like that. Like they have him like sitting in an office and like they've surrounded him. Like you have like Wilford Brimley's on one side of them. And

Gene Hackman's on the other side of him. You don't fucking tell me where that guy is. I'm going to put quick roots down your fucking throat. You know your wife's home alone right now there, Dave. That's right. That's my Wilford-Brimly impression. That's a great Wilford Brimley. That's the villainous Will for Brinley.

I have a bad feeling your children are not going to be home later if you don't tell me where he is. How did he become like the go-to villain, by the way, at some point? He was like... That was a big deal back there. He was in cocoon. Yeah, and everybody loved him. It's a happy grandpa. Oatmeal?

And then he was like on TV as a happy grandpa. And he was doing the oatmeal commercials. then all of a sudden it becomes like Darth Mall Yeah, like that like like like I don't even know what the equivalent is for modern movies like back then Wilford Brimley showing up as like the bad guy in a Tom Cruise movie was so insane I don't know if it's it would be like it would be like if Alex Trebek became a bad guy in like a Bruce Willis movie he did he did play a man in black on the X-Files Alice Trebek there was an episode where he and Jesse Ventura were men in black really yeah it was pretty great but like picture like Alex

Trebek, like, sending henchmen after people, like the guy from Jeopardy, the guy who does that health insurance commercials, like, that guy, that was Wolfram. What were we talking about Dave Haxon? Judd Hirsch. If Judd Hirsch was, like, all of a sudden a villain in a movie, it would be like that.

But, like, Judd Hirsch has been in stuff. Like, like, what was Wilford Brimley in before he did the oatmeal stuff? He was in Kekoon. But, like, what was he in before that? Like, what was he, like, a young? Like, you know what I mean? I'm not. I wasn't fucking born yet. But you know, like, Leslie Nielsen, like, became, like, a comedy actor, but he was like a dramatic

old Western guy. Like was Wilford Brimley like a Western guy back then? Let's not look this up. We only have this room for two hours. Here I'll vamp. Wilfer Brimley. Like you don't understand what it was like to see this jolly old fat man who sold you oatmeal that made your heart better trying to torture his family. And then

the other thing too, became a heavy after he had diabetes. Oh, was that what he? Oh, oatmeal was for the diabetes. He was in the thing and I don't think he was a bad guy in the thing, but it was like everybody in the thing was like one of those deals were like, oh, is that guy the thing or not? What was that? 84?

82. But he was in Coon and he was a great old grandpa and everybody loved him and he was in the firm as the bad guy. Okay, so let me go ahead back to, he was Brewbaker. So I guess he was kind of heavy in that. Oh, the Robert Redford Prison movie? Absence

of malice. Maybe he was always kind of a shit heel, but we didn't know about it because we were too young. We grew up as him. He was the mustache opium guy. We knew him from Coon on. yeah he was in a lot of movies that sound like 10 to midnight with fucking Charles Bronson like he might have been an asshole we just didn't know it because of course the natural remember he was Pop Fisher and the natural he was the manager

yeah and that he's a decent dude there so the natural was the turning point maybe where yeah maybe John Hirsch should heal John Hirsch might be a good one and to being in cocoon and then all of a sudden he became a shit here he was in fucking the second he was the second Ewok movie what's the second ewalk movie So the first Ewak movie was the Ewok Adventure, and they made a second one called Ewox the Battle of Endor. And he literally played like grandpa in that movie. Wait, wait, wait, wait. There's like a spin-off Star Wars thing with just Ewarks?

There were TV movies with just Ewarks called the Ewok Adventure and then Ewok's colon, the Battle of Endor. There was a movie about Ewox colon? That's disgusting. Yeah, what was furry? Small and furry. That's my impression of me. Was it Ewak? It was an Ewok?

Yeah, I'll do an Ewok. Ewalk taking a dump, ready? Yeah, that's Splash. Splash. Yeah, Wilford Brimley was grandpa, and then he became... So that's NHL coaches. You're going to kill my David?

I'm going to kill my David. Do you know the name Ngozi Ukazu? He most likely not. Ngozi is a comic artist who many people have been asking us to get on this show. She's really brilliant. She does a comic called Check Please. And if you've not heard of it, it is, in fact, a hockey comic book. It's about Thomas Placanics.

It is about... And how he always has good manners. The Czech, not, like, Czech Republic, like, check. It's pretty amazing. I mean, not only that there is a hockey comic, but also because it's super funny and super sweet. It's about a gay player who was a figure skater who then goes to college and decides to play hockey and learns about what it's like to play hockey, learns about bro culture. It sounds like it might be like a movie of the week kind of deal, but it's not. It's super funny and super sweet.

He's a guy who bakes when he's stressed. And it's all about his sort of interaction with the team. And it's a coming of age thing. He's also a vlogger. There's a whole part of it too. But the cool thing about Mgozi is that she funded this thing through Kickstarter. And it became a sensation in the amount of money she got for, doing this comic. And it was sort of a reminder

that if you do something original and you do something that serves an audience that's been completely underserved, in this case, queer hockey fans and women, that you can succeed at it. If the stuff you're making is really cool and inventive and entertaining. So I sat down with her Comic

Con here in New York to talk about her career, about the comic, about hockey in general, and how she came to be writing a hockey comic. Fuck, man. Like, I had to wait. Is it a comic or a graphic novel. It's not a graphic novel. I don't want to get anybody upset because people get mad when you call a graphic

novel. And she was on artist Sally, and I was supposed to talk to her at a certain time. I had to wait a few hours to do so because the line to meet her was that long. Like, she's got an incredible dedicated following for Check Please, and it's a cool chat. I think you'll dig it. It's the kind of different thing that we'd like to do here on Puck Soup, and we'll be back after this.

I am astounded by her success. Oh my God, thank you. It's amazing. I'm so proud of you. Do you ever come to one of these, and when you see lines wrapping around to meet you and sign things, still pinch yourself? It's very strange because when it comes down to it, it's a comic about hockey, which is not the most popular sport in America.

It's a comic about hockey and baking pies, which, you know, when you pitch that to editors, they kind of look at you funny. It's great. I think people just wanted a, people just want, like, a fun, like, uplifting story, and I think that's why they wind up. You and I, I think are sympathico in the sense that, like, you know, always said this about hockey. Like you said, hockey is a tough sport to get into. Yeah. So you have to kind of create as many entry points as you possibly can. So now you've created an entry point

for queer readers. Now you've created an entry point for women. Women. Yeah. And I think that to read some of the reactions to your work and hear people being like, I could give a shit about hockey. Yeah. Yeah. Now you made me give a shit about it. It's amazing. Yeah. It's kind of showing people that hockey as a sport is so fascinating because it is so strange. It's, and kind of motivating them to go out to a game, actually go out on the ice, and check out players because they're, like, awkward and weird and, like, kind of funny and weirdly stoic, and it's a whole different culture. I know for me, growing up in, like, Houston, Texas, learning about all of this, like, all

these, like, Canadian players and, like, the culture of hockey on Northeast, like, it was so bizarre that I just had to, like, tell other people, like, check out this really weird thing. So you got into hockey at Yale, yeah? Is that the way I understand it? Yeah. Yeah, so my senior year of college, I wrote a screenplay on hockey. Oh, yeah, I wrote a screenplay on hockey, and I did a ton of research, and I had all this leftover knowledge.

And then I went straight to art school, and then I decided to do this webcomic with all that knowledge. And I did all, like, it was like January, like, January 1st, let's say, I just started doing research on hockey. And at the end of the semester, Yale won the NCAA Division I national hockey championship. And I was like, this is a sign. And I'm doing the right thing right now. And you can tell me anything. All I would talk about was hockey.

So they lost. The whole thing could be different. I mean, they had never gotten that far in anyway. So it was like just the fact that they made it like that far in the playoffs, that was astounded. So yeah. Did you see, did you see hockey as, as a perfect sort of medium for the stories you wanted to tell, the themes you wanted to introduce?

Like was it like, did you see it as that sort of vessel or was hockey just something that sparked the other part of it, the other creative side of it? I think kind of both, because hockey, I've always been interested in telling stories about, like, found families and, like, telling stories about college. And I always wanted to tell a story kind of that was dealing with the fragile nature of masculinity. And when hockey kind of arrived as, like, a subject, I was like, oh, perfect. Like, let's take the most, like, masculine, tough guy sport and, like, start to explore how people, conform or don't conform to that. Right. Yeah. And like, like, I've heard you mentioned that like

Biddy and Jack, like Jack's the, the unapproachable masculine. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't, you know, Biddy doesn't really understand it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Biddy's sort of the, the more sensitive side to it. And it's like the two sides of the coin. And I think, yeah, hockey works is that sort of symbolic thing. Yeah, it's the thing that for Jack, because he has to like, live up to his father's expectations he suffers from it and he suffers from those expectations that he places on himself and for biddy he's also living up to his father's expectations of like you have to be a man junior because he's from the south and he suffers from that as well so i i think both they're like

both sides of the same coin of like guys trying to navigate what it means to be a man that's so that's overly deep i wasn't thinking about it's when i start the comics i was like pies pies let's talk about stress eating. Now, or stress baking, I should say, actually, it would be more the appropriate thing. Where did stress baking come from? Stress baking is something like I saw my friends do in college. Really? Oh, I have three essays due this weekend. I'm going to bake cookies for everyone in the sweet. Like, just, it's just like this, like, really funny coping mechanism. Well, it's not, it's not a great coping mechanism, but I thought it was pretty amusing. This is what I missed out on by not being smart. Like, I went to Maryland. Not saying that wasn't a smart school.

Maryland's great school. Yeah, come on. But I don't think we had an oven in our suite. Yeah. I've got a microwave oven. We didn't have an oven in our suite, but we had, like, a student kitchens that people would just, like, wonder off to instead of going to the library. Oh, that makes sense that. You know, it's that thing of, like, sleep, study, socialized choose, too.

Right. Then, yeah, some people just chose sleeping and baking. I think the stress baking thing is a great character aesthetic. Yeah, yeah. Where do the vlogger thing come in? I don't know, actually. I think it was just like, oh, it kind of, as I was developing the character, I thought the character would be like maybe a blogger.

And then when I realized it was a digital medium, I mean, a visual medium, I just decided to make him talk directly to the reader, which was a really lucky choice because I feel like people do connect with Benny because he's like, hey, y'all, like, welcome to the story. And it's like, it's a different way to do, I mean, like, you know, for decades, Spider-Man's, you know, his thoughts have been on the page and everything. Which I love. He's not speaking to you, sort of just speaking.

to him say, Peter, don't do this kind of thing. This is more of breaking the fourth wall, kind of, and Deadpool, right, talking directly to the reader, yeah. Yeah, but he's just like that. It works great. It's a really cool mechanism. I was being facetious, but he's not like Deadpool. It's so, oh, no.

Both characters, it's very similar. It's totally similar. I mean, Deadpool's cool. I think they would probably get along, actually, to be quite honest. They have a lot in common. They do. They would talk a lot for hours. It'd be a therapy session.

I love this fan fiction we're writing. Yeah. Well, I was going to say that, too. Like, I remember you saying somewhere that, like, you know, not only do people, you know, take your work and trade it around on Tumblr and stuff, but now you have an entire, like, slash fiction sort of aesthetic going out with these characters, too.

Yeah. Like, I remember the first fan fiction I ever got. I, like, wrote to the person like, thank you. Why are you doing this? How is this possible? And then now, like, people just, you know, have written the novellas that are, like,

tangential to the comic. And it's wild. I, yeah. I love world building, and I'm glad that people can play in that world. You, well, you do a hell of a lot of world building with Chequoise because the whole notion of like, the character tumbler thing is something I find really fast at it because now you're taking these characters, they have their own tumblers, they have their own social kind of outreach, but like people are going to them to then get teasers about how the stories are going to play on. That's insane. That's really cool.

That was really, and I was like, it consumed so much of my life when I was like, I was going, I was logging on every day to like, like, logging on to Twitter to like tweet as these characters. and people would say like, oh my God, hey, I just saw this new Beyonce video. And then I would be biddy. I would put on his face, like a mask. And then say, like, yeah, like, I'm bidding. And I saw the video, too. And then people would just be like, I can't believe this is happening. It was, it was a fun aspect.

It makes the characters more real. The hockey shit segments. Yes. What did you think about those? I think they're fantastic because I think what they do is, I think that you've really drilled down to the things that you need to know about hockey. Like the X's and O's shit, we can leave to the Canadians. But for us, it's like hockey butts, sellies.

Yeah, like nicknames and all that stuff. Where did that mechanism come into play? I mean, I just wanted to explain to people why this is such a weird sport. So I really want to get that out there. But also, I feel like people just needed to understand. Like, there's no way they would ever, like, kind of stumble onto these different, idiot sequences of hockey by themselves. So I was like, okay, in order for you to get this story,

we have to go deep into hockey ship and learn about all these little facts. So it sounds like you did, you did your homework on all this. Like it sounds like who were you relying on or were you relying on yourself to figure out the authentic hockey parts of Checkways? I think I was scared of messing up

because I didn't want anyone to read the comic and be like, well, that's not how it worked. So when I first started doing it, my screenplay. I watched a ton of documentaries in hockey. What was the screenplay I about, by the way? Oh, the screenplay I wrote it was called Hardy and it was kind of like a spiritual precursor to

Check Please. It was about like this big, brutish like Boston Enforcer guy who's in college who falls in love with his best friend. He's like, oh no, what's this? Internalized homophobia. Except he doesn't really, he's one of the main things is like he is very bad at communicating. So it's just like, I don't know how I feel.

he's a fun character but in order to get all that I watched some documentaries I watched like NHL 24-7 like over and over again I went on YouTube and like I went to the library to check out books on hockey there are like ethnographies on hockey

but I also did a lot of interviews I interviewed like roommates of hockey players for like Yale's team like girlfriends of people like people who played hockey like a ton of people I interviewed a current HL player, one of my friends who was just like, like, just would say all the weirdest things that ended up.

Like, he would just talk about how much his hands were, like, callous. And I was like, there's like stuff, like little details like that that I thought were just to add the story. What surprised you, like, did, you mentioned before the sort of found family aspect. Did you understand that as being part of hockey? Or was there anything about your, in your research that surprised you about the sport? I think something that surprised me or like that I kind of had to relearn was the devotion that, I mean, not just fans have the hockey, but hockey players. It's like a reverence. It's a reverence.

You know how people say like, ball is life and it's kind of like ha ha ha. It's a joke. It is literally like, it's when you're on the rink, it's church. You are going there to like worship the puck, worship eyes and play. And it's the same thing where fans go to the arena, as their temple. It's exactly. For that, you know, three hours. And I think part of the research was almost, it was a respect, too, because even though it's a culture that I know has a lot of problems, and I know that I necessarily may not belong, I wanted to respect you.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you've done a really good job sort of broadening, in beginning the tent, if you will. In beginning the tent, yeah. In beginning the tent. Yeah, there you go. For people to approach hockey. what's been your interaction with folks when it comes to the hockey part to the book?

Like we talked about before I'm making new fans or people, do you have hockey fans being like, I can't believe how well you've got this? Or maybe more to the point, like, I can't believe I'd never thought of it this way before. I can't say that a lot of people say kind of that latter statement, but it's really a lot of people who used to play hockey either in high school or college. And they tend to be like women athletes who are just like, yeah, you, you, you, you, you, got it. Like, this is what this is. This is how Rose are. This is how it's stupid. But, yeah. Oops. Oh, so, yeah. Yeah, I don't find a lot. I mean, people have thought of the story of, like,

former figure skater joining a college hockey team is very, like, Disney Channel. So I'm not the first person I think of it. It's also very cutting edge the other way. It's opposite-cutter. It's reverse cutting edge. I think it is, yeah. I haven't seen that. You know, I want to say I've seen it many moons ago, but it's not one of those movies. that resonates within the hockey community. Yeah, I mean, I watched, like, it was Slapshot Miracle on Ice and, like, what is it? Oh, my God, Goon. Those are movies before.

Well, the thing, like you said before, like, using 24-7 as a touchdown for your work is perfect, because that's... Such a good series. I mean, you duck into the hotel, or you see Sidney Crosby in bed, just shitting around with his buddy in the hotel room. I mean, that's the essence of life on the road and everything else. Yeah. Have you heard from any gay players? Yes. And, like, I hear from queer athletes from, like, high school, college.

And I can't say that I've, like, spoken with professional athletes who are, like, hey. I mean, because it's a lot more risky to do something like that. But I think athletes in college, you know, you know, are more comfortable than themselves. Definitely reach out and say, like, like, and some of them aren't even hockey players. Like, oh, I row crew or, you know, I'm like, I'm, like, I'm, like, I'm, like, I'm, like, track and like this is what your comic means so yeah we should say that your main character is closeted to his team yeah in a relationship with a captain yeah right um yeah he eventually does come out but it's something where uh i think people enjoy seeing like a character come out and then

be accepted by the team because that's their experiences right yeah i came out to my team and then yeah yeah which is and i wanted to ask you about that because i mean that's that's the thing i've heard time and time again from gay hockey players is that you know you come out to your team it doesn't leave the room But everybody in the room is okay with it. Yeah. So why do you think it hasn't left the room? Why do you think that there hasn't been somebody to be the Jackie Robinson of queer hockey players? Oh, my gosh.

Well, that's going to be a whole other interview, wouldn't it? Because I think there's so many things, even though hockey has weekend playing, even though guys are, you know, go on the record saying, like, oh, yeah, I'd be fine if I had a teammate who was gay or whatever. It's their choice and it's not of my. Yeah, it won't, it won't leave the room until, like, the entire culture is like, yeah, we're ready to accept you. There's too much on the line for some of those players. Do you think it's our fault in the media?

I think we would make people feel like a bunch of assholes if they came out? No, I think it's not just the media. It's literally the culture of hockey, like, from start to finish. Like, let's not show any pain. Let's be super stoic. Let's never show any emotion. let's um

queerness is this is political and people are like I don't want to be political which is you know a lot of BS but do you think your story is resonated with people

because it is a coming out story in some ways yeah and it's also funny as shit like it's not it doesn't it means it's point it can be pointed

but it's not it doesn't stop for the this is a special issue kind of thing you know I think people especially a lot of audiences are tired of like the um

with a lot of queer media It's called like this tragedy porn where the character is like coming out and they get beat up and then they get kicked out of their house. And these things do happen to real people and those stories are very real. But I think people do want to just have stories about characters who, you know, are gay. And that is part of their identity. And they also get to baked pies. So how do you feel being, now you're on, you know, NPR is talking to, EWs doing the thing on your house. This is the year of you blown up, I guess, yeah?

It's been a whirlwind and it's been really great And it's just fantastic that people are learning about the comic That may not have, you know, vlog on the Templar and found it So I'm pretty psyched that new people are discovering it But you are an artist and you are ending this thing after four years, right? Done and done. Was that always the plan? Yeah, like when I, the summer I made the comic

I wrote like a little chart about what happened like each year And then it would be done The touch point for me was always British sitcoms British sitcoms always end You ever watch Faulty Towers? Yeah. Yeah. It's quality over quantity.

They know one to quit. Yeah. Even Parks and Rec knew how to like want to finish. Parks and Rec was interesting because I, it took me so long to catch up to it again because I hated the first season. Oh, season of when they were trying to, when they were trying to ape the office. But then I quit. And then my now wife is like, no, it's the funniest show you're ever going to see. And I got back into it.

And it's. The British sitcoms, I know how to do it. Yeah. I just, I don't want to make Spider-Man like Check Please Issue, like 756. you know, Detective Comics, they're on, like, I don't know what issue they're on. But that's the thing. You're in comics. You can do Check Please 2000. Now, just all the first. Check the 2000. They go to the future. Yeah, exactly.

But he shoots pies out of his fans. It's either the Czechlees multiverse. Now they're lacrosse players. Like, it could all be like that. I mean, it's, nah, there's no point. I want to finish the story and have it be a moment in my life and then move on. Do you know what you want to do next? Yeah. I'm working on a script about softball, a girl softball, a bunch of art students. try to win one game of softball to get their athletic scholarship.

Your classic sports underdog story. It is very much like shenanigans. Like none of them could catch the ball. One of them is like really, really good. Yeah. So it's well. You're awesome. Congratulations on your success.

My thanks to Ingozy, Yakuazu for joining us here in Puck Soup. CheckPlease can be found at check pleasecomic.com for all the information there. And it's coming out and sort of a, it is out in a sort of a collected format. Do check it out, man. It's super funny

and really comes out the sport in a different and interesting way, which, if you've ever read Puck Daddy or my work at ESPN and have listened to this podcast, you know, we're kind of fans of. It's Ryan Lambert technically Puck Daddy now? Yes.

But I have created Puck Dinosaurus and most of the writing is based on what kind of dinosaur the players would be, Stegosaurus, Kevin BXA. well Ryan's coming here in December yeah we're gonna get Ryan on honestly I get asked all the time about Puck Daddy

like I was just doing a radio thing the other day like so what are you can you take the name no they own the name puck daddy isn't dead like it's still there I just feel like you know when when when they find out that I'm leaving in September and now it's like almost the end of October

like you gotta give them a better runway to figure out exactly what the next steps are for that site like it's still I don't want it to not be good like I want Yahoo to thrive and I want my old place to do well. It's not as if I'm sitting here saying that I

want to bleed Yahoo dry. You don't want to drain their blood. Drain their blood. And suck the marrow from their bones. Which brings us to another topic here on the show. It's actually a couple topics we're going to talk about. And we should preface it by saying that I work for ESPN.

Dave does stuff for the athletic. Please keep that in mind going forward. For now we do these two things. We'll see how this goes. The Athletic made news this week because Alex Mather, a co-founder of the site, did an interview at the New York Times in which he said, we will wait out, we will wait every local paper out and let them continuously bleed until we are the last one standing. We will suck them dry of their best talent at every moment. We will make business extremely difficult for them. Now, this didn't go over all that well.

and then Alex then responded with a statement that I wanted to clarify something I'm not rooting for newspapers to fail I mean other than the whole sucking them dry of their blood and precious fluids thing but rather hoping to build the product that will give readers more choices whether it's in their local market or nationally

we are privileged to have incredible support from our passionate readers and we could literally do not could not do it without your backing I do not take that for granted if we want to deliver a product that makes you proud and will continue to work nonstop to do so. So I think, you know, lesson learned when you go and say, the timeline for the athletic for me is, the athletic,

oh, this is an interesting new thing. Hey, your favorite writer that got laid off or is worried about their job? We're going to hire them. Here they are. That's fucking great. I love Mike Russo. Oh, by the way, we're going to sculph up the Star Tribune until it's dead. And even after it's dead for fun.

Yeah, and then you're like, wait a second, I didn't sign up for this. lesson learned, man. I think this is a classic case, and we'll get to the ESPN example in a second, of A, not knowing what the reaction from your own employees is going to be because I think a lot of people at the athletic who are proud newspaper men and women

did not appreciate the idea that their new venture was, you know, the goal was to put their old ventures out of business. But at the same time, shouldn't they have known that already? I mean, that's the, the athletics are a competitor. I think of a local paper,

think of more than the sports section. I feel like to me the athletics competition should be people like Bleach Report and SB Nation, who they both trashed in that article too. That was the one thing that like, so like I, as, I mean, I write for the athletic once a week.

I'm not like an employee full time or anything, but like I felt like they just said the thing that we all kind of knew is true, where like the athletic is, is, newspapers are failing. The athletics taking the people that are talented that are getting laid off from newspapers because they don't know what they're doing and they're trying to. I think,

it was that it was just how they said it was the extra level of what's the word I'm looking for the blood imagery it wasn't it was sort of the stated goal to put them out of business it was the problem with it even if he didn't really mean it to come off that way

the whole thing seemed it was very much like a search and destroy thing which to me comes from the fact that these guys aren't journalists but they came from Silicon Valley and in Silicon Valley you know the goal is not simply to make a great company but to crush your competition. Like, it's not good enough to be the guy at Lyft that's like, I'm going to make Lyft. Lyft is going to be great.

You have to be the guy at Lyft is like, all cab drivers will die pettyness and their families will starve. Great. And Uber, I will throw you off the cliff and piss on your remains. Like, that's the way it kind of works when you're in tech. And I feel like these guys are sort of tone deaf to the difference between those things. Yeah. But, like, again, I just, I feel like they just said the thing we all kind of already knew.

And it was weird, too, because we all, like, we constantly see people. getting laid off from newspapers and we're always just like fucking newspapers these goddamn jagoffs firing talented people pushing video on people god they drive me nuts and then this guy's like yeah well we're gonna try and take them down and someone's like whoa whoa whoa hold on a second right why can't we just let them limp by forever like no that's that's not it's like it's like um what do you call the players tribune yeah it drives me nuts when i see like media people retweeting the players tribune like like yeah like it's cute that you think that like Kevin Garnett or

you know Logan Couture really wrote that like no like they're they're trying to siphon off readership from you like they're a competitor like no one from the player streamers ever come out and said we're going to drink the blood of of newspaper people but it's it's a business like you can't the thing

that I thought was funny was people got mad about the empty calories comment yeah I don't kid myself into believing anything I do is other than empty calories I write about sports I think the athletic though I mean, we're all coming to bat for that. There's a big ass difference between the stuff that, like, Justin Bourne or Delo or whoever writes versus, you know.

But it's empty calories. A four-paragraph story on SB Nation with YouTube. Oh, for sure. That's where I thought they were getting at there. Oh, is that what they were? Yeah. I didn't really know. Because, like, in my mind, empty calories is just, like, unnecessary stuff you put in your body that feels good.

Like, that's sports. Like, nothing you do in sports is really, like, like, of course. Calories was like you, you, okay, so like, I'm going to eat a head of lettuce to make my belly feel full, but it's not the thing I want to eat at all. Well, no, like, I picture like empty calories as like a big old handful of jelly beans. A big old handful of jelly beans. Yeah. Have you ever taken a handful of jelly beans? That's a food that is designed, designed to be eaten individually.

Disagree. They have different flavors. You combine flavors to make a delicious mix of candy in your mouth. Okay. But if you take a handful of them, you've not spent any time to call. cultivate the flavors. You're just taking a fucking handful of candy. Not like 30. Not like 32 jelly, like three or four at once. You never just like a little yellow, green, red? What are you? How small are your hands that that's a handful? That's four jelly beans. Well, when you say a mouth full of food, your mouth is not packed 100% density with food. It's just a bunch of food. Let me just get this straight.

When you eat jelly beans, you're trying to match flavors. Is it like a food Iraqa cycle on the Jetsons where these little pills come out? And then you match them up like, oh, look, I got bacon and eggs. Is it that kind of thing? You take one jelly bean and another jelly bean and a third jelly bean and you're trying to create a little dish. If I could have a bacon and egg jelly bean meal, I would absolutely do it. I would shove the pancakes, the bacon, the eggs, all those empty calories into my mouth. But your point is, well, taken. That, like, yeah, Justin Bourne breaking down why the Penguin's Power Play sucks is not the same as, like, aggregating.

Have you ever taken the jelly bean challenge? What do you mean? Like, to guess the flavors? Yeah, but they have ones now. And this is like, my kid watches way too much YouTube. Or do I pour jelly beans over my head to like raise money for charity? And you're like, oh, my eyes. No, it's a thing where like, like the horrible dad who makes his children do YouTube videos so he can get ad revenue.

Like, we'll sit them down. And they, and the jelly, I think it's jellybelly makes a thing where like there's like two jelly beans. They both look the same. But one is like grape and one is like dead fish. And the whole thing is they look exactly alike, so you have to taste them to know exactly which one it is. And it comes to like a little spinner that tells you which belly jelly bean a taste. That seems mean. Yeah.

But like I, they're like intentionally grossly flavored jelly beans. Yeah, they're grossly flavored jelly beans, but they look like real ones. So my kid likes to do this. Like occasionally she'll make me buy it. And like, because she wants to do like a YouTube video or whatever, like recreate a YouTube video. And then I'll put down with her. She wants the grower brand. I understand.

And it's like, it's like, oh, is this cotton candy or is spoiled? milk. Oh. And then like, I would never do that. Like, she'll spin it and it'll be like, oh, it's either cotton candy or spoiled milk. And then she'll take it. And then she'll be like, you taste it. I'm like, that's not how the fucking game works.

I'm not growing my brand. We're growing your brand on YouTube. Yeah. And then I'll taste it. I'm like, it's cotton candy. She goes, okay, that one was mine. Your turn. This is horseshit.

Like, what is this game? This is bullshit. Yeah. Playing games with kids is fucked up. Like, they come up with these asinine rules that gin the game for them. shoots and ladders is like a pretty basic game where depending on what you spin you move that many spaces and go up the ladder or down the shoot or don't do anything at all

except when you're playing with a kid who goes on the you know she gets all the way up to the top now she's on the big shoot all the way to the bottom and then she nudges the spinner over one so she doesn't actually get four she gets three and that's somehow legal now I know as a parent I should probably police this behavior you see more upset about actually losing than letting you that having your daughter not yet learn winning and losing it bargain really like you're gonna lose the game but you're also gonna make the kid not cry

you gotta find the middle ground there but at the same time I feel like I'm raising a fucking megalomaniac who now believes she can do whatever she wants with rules and regulations well when she first does she play like competitive sports yet does she play soccer but I wouldn't call it competitive sports but like when she like gives up a goal does she like take the ball out of the net

and go that's not a goal no but like I watched her play soccer last weekend and she at one point she like hit a power up and took the ball away from three players and then scored a break breakaway goal. And the rest of the game, she literally did nothing.

She just stood there. So she pulled an Alex seven. Yeah, she was an Alex seven. I got my goal. Yeah. I'm good. And I said to her after the game.

I'm like, why don't you always do that? She goes, because I don't always want to score. Like, holy shit, what is this? This is your prodigy?

But like, see, see, this is the problem. You need to be sports dad more and, like, shame her. Be like, you need to score 24 goals in a game or...

You're bad about that. All right. The other media news this week was Barstool Van Talk. Van? Van? Van? It doesn't fucking matter. It's not online anymore.

BVT, as I called it. Got canceled after one episode. I work for ESPN. I have no inside knowledge of anything. I merely wanted to mention that... You were a fan. I liked the show. I thought it was interesting.

But ultimately, everybody who said it was going to be impossible to separate the Barstool brand from the show was completely right. And it had Barstool in the title. How could they ever do that? Well, because I think, I think maybe there was this notion that those two guys are kind of the exception to the rule in the eyes of a lot of people. People who listen to Pardon My Take say that's not,

that's not Barstool. Everybody says that, yeah. Right, they all say it. So they bought that hype, but what they didn't realize was that there's a lot of bodies buried on the way to becoming the guys who aren't Barstool. And so when Sam Ponder and Sarah Spain

and others inside ESPN said, this is you can't run away from the shit that's been said and you were complicit and laughing to when portnoy was saying all this fucked up shit about me like you can't you can't you can't at the moment in which your own people are saying these things much like the athletic where I'm sure a lot of people emailed the up and ups and said we're embarrassed by this like we don't want newspapers to go out of business I think it becomes a situation of like we're embarrassed by this we don't want to be associated with this brand and then that then you have to kind of do it but like I The thing I don't understand is like how no one at ESPN didn't see it coming. I kind of get it. Like I kind of get the idea that you believe that you can run away from a brand if you've taken the people that are not the except, that are the exception to that rule. And that's the way that it was sort of being pitched. But like my thing is like I'm assuming those guys have contracts, right? So they just can't leave bar still whenever they want.

They said on their, on, I listen to their podcast today about the whole thing because I've been kind of fascinated by it for various reasons, including the fact that I was at Bristol for a rookie camp. this week and one of the first things they showed us was like kind of like hey here's what's going on at ESPN these days and one of the things was like the fucking Barstool van logo and by the end of the day the show wasn't on the air anymore like boy lift comes out you fast

so I've been fascinated by it on that score but also because I don't know what their side of the story is and so like I listened to their podcast and they said they had a contract for 22 weeks so they're still getting paid for 22 weeks I assume right I mean I assume that I don't know like like my feeling is like okay let's say let's say they are not what Barstall is known for

they're like just two dudes who don't do like the barstool type thing like you like you like you don't want them to like never like like let's say like two years from now they don't work for barstle anymore they still have a podcast they still have part of my take and it's under the nerdist umbrella let's just say hypothetically and then like someone gives them a show on fox sports like are we going to punish them forever how many steps of separation there's the other need to be yeah like because like if those two guys specifically haven't done anything awful then like they like they shouldn't be punished forever because they once worked for barstool you know what i mean but like i do but like i don't know like i get i get the other side of it but like at some point you want to it's like Andrew Shaw like you don't want to forever you know condemn Andrew Shaw if he's apologized and moved on and shown all like if those two guys are really like that you don't want to have them never get a chance to do something until that video comes out where it looks like big cat is mouthing a a terrible thing about sam ponder's kid and then we have to do it in full investigation to find out if he actually set up. The key, here's the key. The key is going to be two years from now when those guys stop calling themselves PFT him Big Cat. Because it's so ridiculous to see it like a pressure that says like we're parting ways and we love what Big Cat is done. Like they have to go by their real names. But like to Big Cat's credit man like on their podcast today is like I'd ever ran away from it man like barstool's in my title. Right. You know. Right. Like that like that's the part that sucks for them is like they're like okay we're from Barstall. You know that right? And ESPN's like we sure do.

and you understand what Barstool does, right? We absolutely do. We have the internet and we've read it. Okay, we're going to start working there. Okay, we work here now. Yeah, we have to let you go because you're from Barstall. What do you mean? We talked about this.

It's in the contract. I'll let John Skipper's statement stand for what it is. I don't want to get too deep down the rabbit hole because I kind of like my job. Yeah, I don't want to have to come back here a week from that. So Greg Wischinski now is no longer part of ESP. Like, it's just, like, yeah, it feels like they got fired for no reason, but there is an absolute reason. but it's not their reason.

It's just, yeah, it's all tangled and... Do you think that they look better because of this, or do you think it's... They might be pissed that it happened. Who ESPN? No, no, no, no. I mean, Big Cat and PFT. Do they feel like they look better because of this?

Do you think that they kind of get more street credit in the, like, too hot for ESPN kind of thing? Or do you think that they're pissed that they had a TV show that got knocked off the air because of past foibles? Oh, both. Yeah. It doesn't hurt them at all. I don't think.

It just sucks for them because, like, this could have been an opportunity for them. But, again, if you don't work for Barstool, then you don't have to worry about it. But they have, so, again, you can't be punished forever because you happen to work for. I want to clarify, somebody just said before. Like, I'll criticize ESPN when necessary.

I don't think I could do it necessarily a lot here because it's sort of a business transaction. Yeah, don't. Don't do it. From a hockey perspective, like, if you guys said B, with anything hockey related or any SPN, I will fight the good fight. I'm on the inside now.

The bizarre thing with you now is like I love, I love like a, so like, I remember when I first started following Katie Nolan on Twitter. I would go to her timeline at the day and like read all her tweets where she would like go back at trolls because it was just fun reading. Yeah. I do the same thing now for your Twitter account where I go back and read all your mentions. People are like, oh, ESPN Lib Greg was Sinski already. And I'm like, Greg literally said this like six times last year. Oh, no, that's the weird. That's my favorite thing.

The two weirdest things about the ESPN gig on top of being a 40-year-old man at something called Rookie Camp was... You're like Chris Wanky. Yeah, I felt like Seri gave a car off. Yeah. That's a hockey in the reference. That's better for the podcast. So I, like, the two weirdest things are, one, writing and believing the same things I believe the month ago at Yahoo. Yeah.

Restating them and then being like, ESPN has fucking corrupted you. They put you in the hypno chamber and made you say these things. You've been there six days. And in everything, too, it's like tweeting out stories that I've written for ESPN about hockey. And then having people come back and being like, well, this would have been fine, I guess. But ESPN doesn't care about hockey. I'm like, but they hired me and I'm writing the hockey for them. They're paying me money to write about hockey.

They must care to some extent. Having spent about a week now in Bristol, I could tell you that there's so many hockey fans there. It's ridiculous. And again, like I said in the last episode, it's like they're all coming up to me and being like, free us, help us. You're like Phoebe at Monica's bad party trying to get everybody over to Chandler and Joey's place for the good party. Two o'clock in the afternoon, we will all meet, we will all wear our sweaters,

we will storm the gates, we'll make them put highlights on. Like never read your own mentions, but go to Greg's mentions and just read the guy who's like, oh, oh, you're writing about Andrew Shaw, typical ESPN lib stuff. But again, but again, seriously, like any beef you got with ESPN or ESPN hockey, just let me know. And I'll try to get you info or defend the network or follow my own. Oh, I got one. Predators are the best national sports team. That's a, that's like a franchise ranking they do every year, and I'm assuming it has some algorithm or what have you that determines that. I don't know.

It felt like it when I was at the cup final. You just show up at ESPN, and suddenly the Patriots aren't the number one franchise anymore, Greg? Yeah. Yeah. Number one quarterback. They're going to be good forever. Yeah. Fucking Patriots.

Christian Hackenberg. Now, a lot of people are saying Hackenberg can't be the best quarterback because he's never three. NFL pass, but I happen to believe. Number one, Jets, number two, devils. I went Apple picking on Sunday. You missed a good game. And the Jets were up 2814, and then I got back

to the car with two bushels of apples, and they had lost 31.28. Well, what happened was they took the quarterback out who doesn't care about football anymore, and they put in the guy who had beat the Jets. Previously, yeah. All right, we promised you some Bridge Galaff, iTunes reviews. I will acquiesce

and do them. Bears. Bears. This is from Joshko I can't describe how giddy I feel when Dave sighs It is so deep and sensual

I can feel it deep in my loins Is this real? I don't remember reading this one I'm reading them off the page Good for your loins This is from Kyle 321N Great show But I feel they glorify bears too much bears are not something to be trifled with.

They roam our parks and eat small children. And this is from someone who is called Pope Bridge, who left a rather lengthy one. His holiness, Pope Rush Galloff, was pleased to learn that in an international group of hockey organizations has chosen formally to adopt the Declaration of Principles that emerged from last year's Global Conference on Sport at the Service of Humanity.

His holiness trust that this significant gesture will inspire greatness for the pivotal role played by sports and sportsmanship and training future generations to pursue personal excellence and to remote the spiritual values of teamwork, solidarity and mutual respect so necessary for the building of a more just and fraternal world. Wow. People really abused the privilege that we offer for this. Some of them were just left regular comments. Some of them, like, I think one guy put like a bunch of song lyrics there that you're going to have to do at some point. Finally, Irish of any be always a lot of fun. One of my favorite podcasts, even though there are no parks and because there are no bears. There it is. All right. Halloween is coming up next week as we do this podcast, which means, of course, that we have to do a Halloween theme bit for your edification. have to This time we've decided instead of doing something that we did last year

which was of course yummy and my tummy are only for a dummy on Halloween candy we noticed the trend that I'm sure you all have noticed

which is the sexification of any and all costume. It began with sexy nurse it continued with sexy maid

now when I go to the costume store there's an entire section of different people and professions they're all Sexy.

Sexy. They're all sexy. So Dave and I present to you here on Puck Soup, the top 10 least sexy, sexy costumes for 2017 Halloween. So if you're thinking of going as a sexy blank, I said Bippy, then there's a match game reference for those who don't know. Then please reconsider if you do hear your costume on this very list. Dave, why don't you go first? All right, I'm stealing all of these from a Twitter friend Holly underscore Hall. She kind of, um, it's kind of her brand.

She just finds the worst sexy Halloween costumes. And like they're, they're, they're, they're really ridiculous. They're really, really, really bad. But there are sexy girls wearing them, so it's, it's not that bad. Number one or five. Number five. Sexy pancakes. Sexy stack of pancakes.

It's a picture of a woman wearing like a black under, like leotard and she just has she's got pancakes pancakes. Pancakes. She has pancakes on her upper torso.

That's, I mean, it's, it looks like that it could be the shape and, and, and, uh, outline of a sexy big Mac as well.

Yeah. Sexy, anything of that nature. Any sexy burger, but like, yeah, this is, it's a big old stack of like seven pancakes.

Sexy pancakes. Sexy pancakes. Sexy pancakes. Um, number five for me is, uh, sexy Steve Bannon. Now look, uh,

he is, He looks like a disease sack of garbage. He looks like Baron Harkonen from Dune put through a toxic waste bath. There's nothing sexy about him. I know that is sort of one of the goals of the sexy Halloween costume is to take something unsexy, like a stack of pancakes, for example, and make it sexy. But I see no way that you could possibly do a sexy Steve Bannon. A sexy Milo, I can see, but not a sexy Steve Bannon. But what is sexy Steve Bannon?

Is you wearing like a skin tight clan outfit? Like it's like a really tight. It's not baggy and loose like the regular ones. Like what is his sexy version of his outfit? Like the hood is like skin tight. Yeah. You know, like a gimp outfit? Like a gimp outfit.

What's number four for you? Number four is a sexy computer hacker. Oh, well, what about Mr. Robot? That's what it is. Remy, whatever the fuck. It's, no, but like you pretty much just wear like a hoodie. Oh. With your, it's zip down so you're showing a lot of cleavage.

And you just wear the stupid mask that they wear. Oh, so it's literally like, the computer hacker, it's when he's on the screen and being like, This is Mr. Robot. I've never seen Mr. Robot. This is Mr. Robot. I've taken over the televisions in Times Square or whatever. Only sexy. By the way, Mr. Robot is the only show where for one season, it was my favorite show.

And then season two, I never got past like episode two. This is very interesting information because you then revealed that you've never seen the show Heroes, which was also that. What was hero? Oh, the NBC thing? The superhero show that bit off all their stuff from Watchmen, and then it was an amazing first season, and then in the second season, it was just utter shit. You're telling me a show that tried the copy of one of the worst movies ever wasn't good?

It was a graphic novel before it was a movie. Number four for me, sexy fireman. What's wrong with sexy? Wait, fireman or fireperson? Fireman. So just a man. Yeah, like a sexy, like a man dressing like a sexy fireman. You seem to be against the male sexiness.

Well, I find it to be redundant. What's the fucking point? A sexy fireman. Okay. A valorous night. A corrupt politician. Like, it's, it's, the fireman inherently is sexy. The idea that you would then, what, you took out of the jacket and the shirt and you're just wearing suspenders and the hat.

Now you're a sexy fireman. A fireman is sexy to begin with. See, all right. I grew up across the street from a firehouse in Harrison, New Jersey. Nobody there was sexy. It was a bunch of fat old men. They're also. You're...

Fat old men. The other thing, fat old men can... First of all, I... In a small town, they don't do much. I don't want to offend our boys in blue, our brave men and women of the police. Firemen have better shaved than police.

Come on. Oh. Yeah, I would... Because, like, firemen work, like, 72-hour shifts, and they just stay in the house for three straight days. Think of Kurt Russell. Think of Kurt Russell in backdraft.

Now, think of Andy Sippewitz from NYPD Blue. Now are you talking. You're telling me you wouldn't have sex with Andy Sipowitz. Those short. sleeves and that tie just bouncing up and down come on, that's hot. I'll tell you why

because I brought this asshole in. He said asshole on ABC. Wait, wait. And he showed his asshole on ABC. Wait, are we talking cops or detectives? Because he was a detective. That's a good point. Lenny Briscoe, sexiest man

on TV for like 10 years. Wait, did Sipowitz become a detective at some point? Or was he always... I never watched the show. The Silver Spoons guy. Don't be a sexy fireman. It's redundant. What's your number three? Number three. I'm saving that way for Number one. Number three is sexy corn on the cob. Corn on the cob is maybe the least erotic food you could really incorporate into your lovemaking if you were going to use it because it gets stuck on your teeth.

Yeah. You know, you got to turn it and, you know, that teeth motion is not sexy. And also, you know, I think all of our Jewish listeners would also wonder, husk or no husk. Wait, is that a, is that a, oh, there is. It took me a second because of because of the, yeah, I get it. Uh, Husk, according to this costume that I'm looking at right here. Oh. This actually is a pretty sexy outfit.

I gotta tell you, I wouldn't. That's, that's, you put some butter on there and, I don't know, what were we talking about? Sorry. Number three for me. What anti-male sexiness are you against now? Sexy Taco Bell sauce packet. Oh, come on. That's one of the sexier things in the world.

No, I disagree. Because here's the thing. You know why eat Taco Bell? So I can poop. Because I hate myself. And the last thing I want is for. something quasi-sexual to be integrated into a place that I just eat Taco Bell to feel shitty. Because I do feel shitty and then I feel shittier.

And I don't want there to be any kind of sensual come-hitherness to Taco Bell. I like it as it is, which is the single worst thing I can put in my body that takes a bad day and makes it slightly better, but then ultimately worse. There's nothing sexy about it. So you're telling me, when you have that burrito, you crack open that packet. you just drench the burrito tip with the hot sauce you put it in your mouth. Can we talk about packets for a second? I was at a chick-fil-a over the weekend in Maryland, and they had a basket next to where all the condiments were for sauces, unused sauces that you can return there.

Yeah, you didn't like that. You like that? They're unopened. People aren't wiping their nose with it. Have I ever eaten with a child before? Have I ever eaten with a child? Yes. What do you mean? Oh, why?

Because they do weird stuff with the packets. I mean, like, their hands are covered in their own shit and then other sauces and grease. And they touch everything. Yes. So, like, I assume that that sauce packet has been handled by a greasy little child. And I don't think. Who do you think is working behind the counter? Also, who gives us children?

How much a fucking sauce do they make? Like, fucking who cares? Let me ask you this. Like, if you throw it away, if you don't use it. Like, what in what other world? Like, when you go to a restaurant, I am fucking praying that the bread I don't eat is not give them to the next person at that table. Okay, how about this then? If you're saying kids are

gross and touch stuff and mess with it, what do you think they're doing with, like, the sugar packets at the table that don't get thrown away? They just take them out of the thing, they rub her hands on, they put them back in the thing. If you are saying to me that they should get rid of all the sugar packets at every table and every diner between customers, you'll have no quarrel from me. Really? No quarrel at all, sir. So what about, what about, like, milk and cream and stuff at, like, Starbucks? That's like a trust situation. It's all covered. What do you think there's like a kid,

like put their fingers in the milk. Kids sneeze. Kids cough. It's covered. It's not totally. They're always unscrewed a little bit so you can get it out. I don't want to even conceive that there is a sauce packet that's been in someone else's hands now in my hands. Because like I feel bad when I go to Starbucks and I take too many napkins and I don't need the last six of them. I leave them on the counter in case somebody wants them.

Yeah, but like you're still wasting. What do you think? Well, when the great reckoning happens and there are no more napkins, you're going to cry into your arm about how you were the main. or the main contributor because you took one extra napkin at Starbucks? It's usually a lot. I usually overestimate how many napkins. Well, that to me is a problem with napkin deployment. That's me for sure.

Because like when you're trying to take one and then you take a stack, it's not your fault. It's the mechanism that they provided. That's why those big tall ones where you have to pull an individual napkin out. Those are bullshit those ones. But those are prevents the very thing you're lamenting. No, no. I'm not saying like I'm taking too many by accident because like my thumb gets too deep in the thing. Like, I'm just stupid.

I feel like I need 11 napkins for a couple. coffee. A little too much thumb. But, all right. This one, this one's my, this is almost my favorite one. Sexy Eiffel Tower. A building. It's a building.

You're a sexy building. And like, you're not even like a building that's like really sexy. It's just like a big old metal like oil thing. Yeah. Like an oil derrick. Yeah. And then you just, you just, you just, you just, it doesn't work. It's not even really a sexy costume.

Well, the bottom of it is kind of sexy to be honest with you. Well, I mean, yeah. she's wearing a skirt and she's got legs number two for me sexy cat just fucking lazy it is the official uniform of girls

who just could not put in a millisecond of effort into their costume they run they run to rickies here in the city and they get a cat mask and the little hair band with the ears and now here's your costume because every woman I know owns

a black outfit for the club the clurb and then they just put on the the cat thing, and then they put on the ears. Sometimes there's not even a mask, it's just ears. And then they put a little black makeup on their nose and some whiskers and your sexy cat. The single laziest, my dad used to have a

t-shirt that had checkboxes that said, my Halloween costume is a ghost and you check the box, and that's your, even lazier than that very thing, is a cat. You are a spoiled 40-year-old man. When there are 24-year-old girls walking around in sexy cat outfits and you're like, you're lazy.

put some effort into it. I like how the cat outfit is like the ramen noodles of Halloween costumes in your eyes. The virtue of being young and broke here in the city. And the only thing you can afford is a hairband with ears. Listen, listen, any women out there that are dressing up as sexy cats or nurses. I support you and all that you do. I believe in your magic. Here's my number one.

This is by far. It should be number two. Oh, wait. No, you're right. Number one. Go ahead. Sorry. Please.

Ballmates. Sexy. Captain Crutch. Stop. The 60-year-old man, I'm guessing, based on his appearance in the box, converted. Look at this costume. Hat? I mean, you don't like the cat because it's lazy.

Look at this. Look at the detail in this outfit. Look at the hat. Right. Look at the right in there. Right. But like what is inherently sexy about? About what?

The most delicious cereal ever? You could do a sexy tricks rabbit. You could do a sexy lepricon for Lucky Charms. You could do a sexy... Oh, that's not good enough for you either now, Greg. You do a sexy Count Chocula. There's nothing inherently sexy about Captain Crime. Sexy Frankenberry.

Well, again, redundant. Just paints yourself pink and then... Finally, number one for me, I mean, kind of goes off something you mentioned before. Sexy podcaster. Impossible. Can't do it. Can't do it. What are you going to do?

We're going to do, where a boostier with Cheetos dust on it? Doesn't like Elizabeth Banks have a podcast, though? I feel like that's... So that's a little... But that's like... Or on a Ferris. Like, you could dress like on a Ferris and be like, I'm a sexy podcaster. But you also say, I'm the house funny.

But of course, you're like, oh, that's so lazy. You are in a Ferris. Ugh. What was your Halloween costume? What was your most recent Halloween costume that you did? I was a fucking lobster. I bought a full lobster costume because my kid, my kid was a little mermaid. So I was a lobster.

Oh, I guess technically you dressed up at the Comic Con. And I also was a Curric at the Comic Con. I still have the lobster costume. I have to do a costume party this weekend. I'm going to have to wear it. Anyways, we asked you the Puck Soup listener, the question of the week was, what exactly, give us an NHL player

and an NHL costume, a Halloween costume for the NHL player. Angel costume. They're called uniforms, Greg. He's masquerading as a commissioner. So you sent in many, many great answers and we'll read some of them here on the air. Alex Voorhees writes in

Neil Yakopov, Nicholas Cage being chased by bees, a reference to the wicker man does Naili Yacobov does not look like Nicholas Cage I'm just assuming that's just a great output for a guy who maybe has fallen on hard times

Yeah but like I don't know what that What the link is Like does he scream a lot Does Neil Yacobov I don't know Did he ever get caught up with a cult at one point Did the Bruins do something to him The quote bees?

Is that a situation that I don't know about How about Jonathan Erickson as the pylon Jonathan Erickson has a pile on is pretty great That's a good costume It's a great costume Peter Shepard writes in Milan Luchich as a scarecrow intimidating until the crows realize his feet

are literally planted in the ground That's great How about Andrew Williams Jamie Ben is Scrooge McDuck Because he's too frugal to eat out Another reference to Jamie Ben's One bad tweet ever Yet he also will dive in

To the good stuff I play screwb. Kyle Stevens writes in this is a quasi does Sidney Crosby like. Sid definitely dresses as Cid and goes for an optional skate in the dark

so as not to attract arena employee trick or treaters. We know for a fact that does Sidney Crosby like Halloween. Sidney Crosby dressed up as John Snow, we found out. Yeah. So he does like Halloween.

Mavcoup. Mavcoup. Brian Boyle's, Captain Morgan. That's good. That's good. Well, like, Brian Boyle doesn't have their mustache going anymore. So, but when he has the mustache and the long hair going.

Definitely kept the more going. Or when he doesn't have any of that, he's tagged from friends. So he's got a lot of flexibility. He's totally tagged from friends. Eddie Cahill. Eddie Cahill, who rejected our podcast. He rejected our podcast, right? Invite.

Scott Deneoon writes in, with his receding hairline and long hair in the back, Phil Kessel is a fake tan and a pair of red underwear away from being the perfect Hulk Hogan outside of maybe, I guess, a physique, physique. Yeah, like he's a little too round. But, yeah, I can see that. I could see that. I think also, I mean, honestly, receding hairline, long hair in the back, and the stubble,

he kind of reminds me of, let me see if you get this reference. Bob the Goon from Batman 89, the Joker's number one guy who he shoots at the parade. Oh, yeah! No, Bob the Goon, he's a little too, he's too tiny. It feels a little too big. How about this one? Booty Will's One, who goes by Rudy Will's one on Twitter.

Oh, it booties his, his Halloween name. Claude Drew as Slender Man, because a few years back, some dummies believed he was for real, but it's not something people talk about anymore. He's on the redemption tour, too. Brian O'Neill writes in, a perfect one, based on not only what he looks like, but also what he loves. Jonathan Taves as Captain Planet. Who's Captain Planet? Remember Captain Planet, the cartoon?

Captain Planet, the Planet Tears. It was on, like, TBS. He was a superhero who literally saved the environment, hence Captain Planet. How about Jake Flancer? Ryan O'Reilly is a Tim Horton's employee. That's good. Fabrice Hare writes in, Brian Elliott as Swiss cheese. Mean, but that'd be kind of funny to do a full goalie uniform deal and then, like, just have Swiss cheese all over you.

That'd be pretty good. I mean, that's a little too self-deprecating, I think, for an NHL player it ever do. But I would like it. Rick Nash, this is a good one. Rick Nash is Jora Mormont because he's an honorable guy who does everything right but still can't score. Boom! Trip writes in Matt Zuccarello, who by the way used to be the Hobbit Wizard, based on his resemblance to Elijah Wood, as Arias Stark, which is great because he does look like Masey Williams. He does have that face, yeah.

So this is actually really good. This is a good Game of Thrones reference. And a well-matched character to player. This one's more visual. You have to go look at our mentions. But Amy Mark's Cors, Magnus Pay-R-V as Tukarask. They do look alike. It's amazing how much they look like.

I thought it was like, I thought all the photos were Tugarask at first. Like it's... Winged Wheel writes in, Ken Holland, dressing up as a competent GM, and it's a picture of Steve Eiserman. harsh Yeah That's good That's that's

That's that's funny Any good ones here Let's see I'm gonna give you one more Finally for me This is from SJ Devils Elyobos Elyobrish Ghaloff

As a bear Poor guy would be terrified of himself He just looks in the mirror Oh no Oh the beautiful day trick or treating Walk inside sea Ah bears all over the place Everywhere I look bears

Also Cheryl Ann, she sent us a link to Alex Colorn's Instagram. Colorn and who is it? There's another guy in the photo. But they're dressed as Agassi and Bjorn, and it's pretty freaking good. That's good. Schuster, Schuster and Cologne. That's pretty good Halloween segment for the show this week.

Much appreciated everybody who wrote in. All right, folks, that is Puck Soup for this week. As always, we thank you for listening. The Patreon, thanks to everybody. We're up to about 1100 Patreon subscribers who, signed up and check out the bonus content each week and each month. Next month will be

our first movie commentary. Spoiler at sudden death. I think you'll really dig it. And thanks to everybody for subscribing the mailbag segment of the show, obviously coming up on Patreon. And thanks to Ngozi Akazu for joining

us on the podcast. Talk about Check Please. And I'm Greg Wischinsky of ESPN. Thanks for reading all of our stuff at ESPN. Hmm. And now Dave will take you home. Big mailbag this week.

A lot of good questions. We put the question up really for once. By we, I mean I, which is my job. And I always forget to do it until Tuesday at 9 o'clock at night. And this way, we only have 40 questions. This week we have like 130. Holy shit. Also, besides the seven-death thing, we got a potentially fun, different, weird thing for next month as well.

Stay tuned. Stay tuned for more. And, yeah, that's it. Thanks for joining us, sir, babe. Talk to you next week. and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons We've got sportly commentary To what if you commute

But we also cover movies, TV shows It's in tunes It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nancet Part 2