Puck Soup - NHL Confessional

Episode Date: March 30, 2018

Greg and Dave break down the final stages of the Stanley Cup Playoff race, from matchups we want to the fate of the Golden Knights. Plus, Connor McDavid for Hart, Taylor Hall is libeled, Lozo has an issue with the NHL's social impact, which characters on FRIENDS likely voted for Trump, coaches that might be fired, Mike And The Mad Dog reunite, the Franchise Movie bracket and confessions from listeners about their hockey sins, from lying about games to never watching the Western Conference. Brought to you by Health IQ, Seat Geek and Blue Apron!

Support for today's Puck Soup comes from Health IQ. Health IQ believes that the best way to improve the health of the world is to celebrate the health conscious through social and financial rewards. So they use science and they also use data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health conscious people, including runners, cyclists, strength trainers, vegans, and many, many more very healthy people. To see if you qualify, get your free quote today at health IQ.com slash soup or mention the promo code soup when you talk to a health IQ agent. So if you're not someone who, like me, had hamburgers and hot dogs with his family around like five or six yesterday and then chased it

with a vodka-slice pizza at like 11. I don't think I would qualify. That's a good day. Listen, I'm not going to lie to you. It was a great day. What are you doing barbecue and a hot dog on a Wednesday? Just for fun? My parents cooked. And let it be known that that, uh, Growing up, there were certain comfort foods for me as a kid that my mom never makes me. Because every time I show up there, it's always we're going to order Chinese food or my dad's going to overcook a bunch of burgers. I don't know how everybody else's dad is on the grill. My dad, if there's any pink, it's a fucking miracle. Oh, he's a, he's a, he's an overcooker.

Oh, boy, is he an overcooker. Did you, like, read some, like, thing on Facebook in, like, 2011 about, like, food poisoning and now he just cooks everything too fine? No, he cooks by instinct, and his instincts have been wrong for the last 30 years. By instinct. I remember the first time someone taught me the steak trick with your fingers? Yeah. That blew me away. I was like, oh, oh, oh, yep, right here.

That's where it is. And the most amazing thing is that he makes the concerted effort to try to make it rare. I like my burger's rare. He makes the effort. Like, he acknowledges my desire to have it rare. And then he gives it to me, and I take a bite, and it's not at all rare. And he goes, oh, I thought I got caught it in time. It's like rare for him.

It's like rare for wood. You can like just put like a little slice in it and just see where you're at, you know? You don't have to cut it in half or anything. That's not how he does it. He blindfolds himself. No, I don't know what he tells him out there. You know, you could make your own burger, you ungrateful son of a bitch. Your dad's trying to cook for you.

It wouldn't be my parents cooking for me. Today's episode of Puck's Soup was also bought to you by the NFL experience, Times Square. Hell yeah. A live action. an attraction. Rides and attractions. Non-stop action.

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the NFL experience. Yeah, as a Jets fan. I'm like, I don't know. I'd like to experience. Maybe I can go there at experience winning as a Jets fan. Wouldn't that be fun? I want to go to like the Giants virtual reality booth where I just pick Sequan Barkley with the pick with the second pick every single time. Spend your spring break at NFL experience.

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point out at the top of the show that the Puck Soup bump, once again, has brought about greatness for a former guest. Harrison Brown is now an NWHL champion after appearing on our show. That's right. And that's the end of my intro part of this. I think you're absolutely right. I'm Greg Woshensky, by the way, of ESPN and you're in Puck Soup. Our podcast continues to create stars. Our podcast continues to elevate greatness. It does. It does. I think, though, I have noticed, I mentioned this this morning to Ruby, we may be on a different ratio than we were in the past of the friends of ours on the show versus new, new people we're meeting for the first time. I feel like maybe it's gotten to be like every, for every four episodes,

three are with people that we want to talk to, and one is the person we've never talked to before. Oh, that's way too high. I don't want to talk to anybody. Three out of four. What are Are you kidding of me? We're going to have some guests coming up that aren't our friends yet. Are we? But that's the beautiful thing. Like, even the people that come on, like, Kellyn, we didn't know before he came on. He's a friend now.

Yeah, but Kellynne was too reserved on our podcast. You follow him on Twitter? Yeah. He's a lunatic. Yeah. And sitting with us, he's just like, I like the sharks. The sharks are nice. He liked the show.

He was very nervous to meet us. I think that's the problem with most people that come on the show. That is true. We are pretty intimidating. We're very intimate. We're very intimate. We're very intelligent. Can you imagine being a young, like, New Yorker and coming on.

the Mike and the Mad Dog radio show for the first time. Like, that's what it must be for most people to listen to this podcast. They did MLB Over Unders yesterday. I heard they got reunited. It's amazing. Dog, the Padres, no hitting 84 wins. I'm going to steal this. I'm going to steal this story from Jimmy Traynor because I just heard it on his...

By the way, congratulations to Jimmy Trana, who doesn't like hockey. It will never be on this show for now being the Sports Illustrated media podcast host. But he told the story. Did you ever hear the Michael Vic Pita story between... The Michael Vic what story? Peter, Peter, you know, Peter, because he had the dogs, Michael Vick. Oh, Peter. Yeah.

Right, okay, but this is the story. I think you understand it now. No, no, I was thinking that the bread. Train is like, he said at one point, Franz Hesel was talking about Michael Vick and the dogs, and he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, dog, you know, keeps on down his path, probably going to get in trouble with Peter. And Rousseau allegedly goes, Peter King? No dog, Peter. Peter Tagliaboo? That was Paul Tagliabu.

Peter Taglii and Eddie. Paul Tagliu. Oh yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. That's what you're thinking of. Dog taglianetti. All right. Good scorer. So did you listen to Rousseau and Francesa get reunited or no?

No. I was out. I feel like it's one of these things that we all root for. And that one thing at Francesca Con was whatever. I mean, here's the thing. I just watched the last episode of the X-Files reboot. And I feel like- segue.

I feel like the X-Files reboot is the quintessential, like, be careful what you wish for, uh, proposition. Wait, is it over now? Is it done? It's over now because Julian Anderson's like, Julian Anderson's like,

I am not carrying this shit anymore. Like, she acted the fuck out of this season. And she looks amazing and she's done bigger and better things in the X-Files now. Has she? What else? She's been, she had her own show.

Um, the Jillian Anderson. No, she's been in a ton of shit. Like what? Sometimes with impeccable, uh, English accent. God damn it. You're telling me these bigger and better things.

you can't even name a show. You're just a Jillian Anderson lover. She played a David Bowie proxy on American Gods and looked amazing. Whatever that is. Here. The fall was the big show. The fall was this incredibly successful show that she was on. I didn't see it because...

Critically acclaimed. It was the show that introduced us to one of your favorite actors, Jamie Dornan from the 50 Shades of Grey movies. Oh, that guy. Yeah, that guy. I was going to watch the fall, but I haven't seen the summer yet. Christian Gray. Not Alexandra Steele, but the...

person she's involved with. Christian Gray. It's Anastasia. Whatever. Get it together. No, she's, okay. American Gods, the fall. She was on the TV show Hannibal, which neither of us, I think, watched, but it was critically acclaimed.

Everybody's like, the little guest spots. She's basically like an older actress who shows up on law and orders. Like, she does like the criminal intent, SVU. Oh, that's really interesting. Because she was also fucking fairy godmother on robot chicken. So case closed. Closing the laptop. I've won this debate. Bigger and better things.

No, but like, everybody's like, oh, cool. The X-Files is coming back. and then like Chris Carter wrote a bunch of episodes that were dog shit. There were some real great episodes. But in the end, it all became a thing where like Scully had a son who was a mutant who could blow up people with his mind. Which sounds really cool, but in the pantheon of the X-Files, not so much. But my point is, is that if Mike and the Mad Dog ever did reunite, I don't think it would, do you think it would capture the same magic as previously? Oh, if they, like, did a show on Sirius or they did a show on F-A-N here, people would absolutely tune in.

But would it be as good? Like, I have no doubt. Was it ever good? It was never good. We were laughing at more than with most of the time. I have, come on. I have no doubt that if Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman got back together, it would be good. He was on PTA.

He was on PTA. He was recently with Kornheiser. Yeah. He was actually pretty nice. Yeah. He's over and knows what he's doing. Those two would not miss a beat. Another puck soup bump.

He's back on ESPN now. Exactly. It's a delayed bump, but a bump nonetheless. The bump happens eventually. Do you watch the Gary Shandling documentary yet? I saw parts of it. I've not seen the whole thing. It's wildly.

It's wildly good, man. The thing that that documentary did for me, though, I had never seen the interview that Ricky Jervais did with Shandling. Jervais had a talk show where it's one of these things that ever, eventually every comedian gets to the point where all they'd want to do is talk to other comedians about their craft. It's kind of the coffee and cars with comedians, disease. So he had a talk show in the UK where he was talking to all these other comedians.

And what happened was he had an interview with Shandling. He's like, he's like, oh, can I do this interview with you? And Shandling's like, yeah, we can do it. If you can appear on the Larry Sanders DVD doing commentary, we can do it. And so they schedule this interview at Shandling's house. And Shandling was under the impression that Jervais was going to do the commentary track for the Larry Sanders DVD. And then they would do the podcast or whatever, the fucking TV interview after it. So Shandling comes home.

home and Jervais and the TV crew were already in his house. And like he's literally like taking off his prescription. Something like, oh, good to see. And then putting in like contact lenses and shit. Like he is clearly not prepared for this, but they're filming. Yeah. So the rest of the interview and I watched the whole damn thing. It's like on five, if you want to watch it, it's like in five parts on YouTube,

is Gary Shandling literally no selling the entire interview to Jervase and being and and and Jervase being like. Yeah. Who are your influences? And Shannon's like, I, what, what, who would, I can't believe you dress like this for an interview of this nature. The things that you're wearing now don't even look good to anyone.

And just like completely ignoring the premises of, of questions and kind of needling your face and being like, do you feel like you've accomplished all you want to accomplish in your career? Because why would you feel that way? Are you offended? Am I offending you by being in your house? It's like, is that what it is? So I, it's just, like, within the comedy circle, it's like a legendary interview.

So I was like, how did this happen? Why did this happen? And I come to find out that it's because they got there before they were supposed to. And Chandling, like, in the interview, he's like, you know, I was at that moment. I decided it was going to be like a boxing match where I was just going to, you know, rope a dope him for the entire interview and not give him anything. I'm just like, what a beautiful dick that man was. I had no idea that.

because this was right before, like I guess if I was still a kid, I had no idea. Like, he was basically down to him and Jay Leno for Carson, so I had no idea. Yeah. Like, I always thought Jay Leno, like, screwed over Conan and he screwed over Letterman. I had no idea that also Shanling. Like, how did Jay Leno rise above those three people that are clearly more talented and funny than he is? It's insane. He kissed the right asses and hid in a closet once to listen to a...

The Gary Shanling show was why he wouldn't do it on you. I had no idea that, like, he was just so more into the Gary Shanling show that he's, like, screw the Tonight Show. Right. He just grew past it. And that's why Larry Sandling show. was so brilliant because he was completely obsessed with late night and he had all this shit to work out. And Hank's assistant on that show was his girlfriend in real life.

Right. I didn't know that. Like so much about Gary Shandling, I really didn't know. It was just, it's a great love letter. And like Judd Apatow's book, uh, in which, spoiler, he talks to a bunch of comedians about their craft. Um, it's also really good. The Shandling part's really good too.

Why do we do? Like, imagine if the show was just a nonstop string of podcasters that come in and we're like, So when you tune the Yeti mic, which one do you put it on? The one where it's like the big spray or the two little circles linked together. All the podcasters in the audience are dying right now, by the way. I didn't want to say anything, but next week we have Zach Braff coming in to talk about this podcast show. Now, Zach Brath on his new sitcom is the head of a podcasting company. I can't think of a less interesting premise than Zach Brath as a family man running a podcast company.

Does that make him, do you think he's trying to be? Scott Ockerman, or do you think he's trying to be Chris Hardwick is the question? Well, Adam Carolla has one, too. Oh, is he trying to be Adam Carolla? I don't know what he's trying. I don't know what it is. When I think of Adam Carolla, the first name that pops into my mind is Zach Braff. Zach Braff narrating again for fucking two, for 15 seasons.

Oh, Jesus God. It's fine. You know what? You don't have to watch it. You know why? Because the playoffs are almost here. Thank God. As we do the show today on a Thursday, March 29th.

2018. 2018, the Year of Our Lord. the year of the Washington capitals are leading the metro the penguins are second the Philadelphia Flyers your third

would you rather see penguins Columbus in the first round or penguins flyers let's get that out of the way first Oh fuck Columbus I don't want to watch any Columbus Playoff series Columbus has no rivals

They're faceless team They have one rival But it's a one way rivalry It's a punch up It's a punch up With the penguins right now That's not a rivalry Well that's

But no it's like when Don't sell me the Wednesday night rivalry We were kids The Devil's Rangers rivalry Wasn't a rivalry either It was the devil's thinking that there was a rivalry and the Rangers were like, who the fuck are you?

No, but weren't you just in Colorado? I think the Rangers would still take joy out of pounding the devils back in like the 80s as opposed to like now Pittsburgh like Columbus. Columbus could be they could be anybody. They could be Calgary. They don't care. I don't think they play Columbus. Like they're close in proximity, relatively speaking.

But I don't care. I think the boss, like I, if I'm Columbus, I don't want any part of Pittsburgh in the first round because you can't beat them. They got two basic problems, Columbus as a playoff team. They, Bobowski, can't win in the playoffs. He's not good. Wow. And they can't beat the penguins. So get away from the penguins. You solve one problem.

You hope the Bobrovsky figures out his shit in the playoffs. So I was saying this on the other podcast. Oh, the Biscuits podcast. On the biscuits. For all year, I've said this here too. I've been very much a Predators, Penguins, Tampa over everybody else guy all year. I'm kind of starting to not feel that way anymore. I still like Nashville. Still very much a Nashville guy. But I don't know if there's really any team in the east where I'm like, I don't want to play that team in the first shot.

You know how people do that? Oh, you don't want any part of so-and-so. I think every lower-seated team in the East could win in the first round. Austin at the height of their powers. They're real good. Like, when they're healthy, they're real good. Question is how healthy are they going to be entering the playoffs. And what you're basically saying is that despite having a gaggle of Gasparilla pirates on this bandwagon going,

you aren't allowed to jump off there, lozo. You've leapt off the lightning bandwagon. At some point, man, if you're going to play Dan Gerard on your top four, playoffs man it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna go sideways at some point could be the first round could be the fourth round but it's gonna happen it is less a problem with them playing dan gerardi because quite frankly ryan mcdona who i literally in my mind called martin but didn't let the words come out three defensemen outside of Tampa Florida playing with Ryan McDonough cleans up a lot of those problems but the real problem is that you have a goalie

that's never played this many games in his life and is not playing well you're turning against your boy and he is turning into a pumpkin pecker rennie pecker rennie has cleared out the space on his mantle for the vesina he is he's printed a

a vesna in a 3D printer to then just put it there until he gets the real thing well Who are you going to give it to instead of Peca? Gibson? No one's watched him. That is a problem. And also everybody remembers what Pecker-Rene did in the playoffs last year.

He's going to ruin the award based on that. Pecker-Rene is basically, it's funny. There was a couple, like, a week ago, I was looking at their stats, and they're super similar, but Peca René's done, like, just enough more in his extra game. He has a few more wins, a few more of this, a little bit better that, so he's going to win. He's also 35, and, like, he's not had this. This is his best regular season. in pretty much.

Like, he's going to win in a walk. Now that Vasilewski is turned to a pumpkin, he's going to win in a walk. And I'm seriously concerned. Like, I would be a little bit more bullish on Tampa were they still be possessors of one Ben Bishop. But the fact is that Vaselowski's now the guy. And I don't think he's ready to be the guy. Wow, you have, you have sold your, your Andre Vasilevsky stock.

I've seen him. Look at you. You're like Zuckerberg. Have you seen him in the last guy? Selling your Facebook stock for the playoffs? Zuckerberg. Look at you. I would have mentioned this.

at the All-Star break because I would have had some inside information and save myself billions. No, I'm saying that having watched this guy a couple of times, the Islander game, the double game, a few other games, there's just something off about him.

And he's given interviews to Joe Smith, now of the athletic, about how he's tired and shit. And just like, the last thing you want to hear is your goalie in the middle of March being like, whoo, I'm exhausted.

Share hope I don't have to play every other night for two months in April and May. That's fine. Like, ready, ready, here's, if I was to predict right now who's going to come out of the East, you know, I pick. You want to hear it? Penguins. What I'm going to say?

No. No. No. The NJ.D.? Oh, yeah. All right. I'm thinking. Like, Brayden Holpey.

It's weird how, like, right now, the caps and the devils are like, we have Brayden Holpey and Corey Schneider. They're like, oh, I don't know. We do have Philip Groupauer and Keith Kincaid. And they're playing those guys a lot down the shit. It reminds me of the penguins last year when Murray was hurt and we knew he was better. than Flurry, but Flurry got hot at the right time. So they were just like, let's just ride this guy as long as we can. And they wrote him into the auto series, and then he hit the wall.

And they were like, all right, Matt, take us the rest of the way. And that's kind of what the doubles were doing with Keith Kincaid. You know, Corey Schneider can't stop anything. It's crazy. The biggest problem with Kincaid is this. He's not that good. Bofinger wasn't a huge hit, and nobody really, like, 99% of the population doesn't remember it. But the fake character they cook up for Eddie Murphy as they're secretly filming him in the

sci-fi movie is named King. Oh, boy. So literally throughout the entire movie, you have everybody like, Kincaid, so we finally meet. Kincaid, you're going to die. And like all this shit. And it's ripe for sampling on the Jumbotron. But then I think to myself that I'm literally one of the only people outside of the cast and crew that saw Bofinger.

I've seen that movie and I could not tell you the names of any of the characters in that. It was on HBO a couple of weeks ago. I re-educated myself with it. The movie's HBO re-shows over and over again. I can't figure out why. why is the edge of 17 constantly on when it should be edge of tomorrow don't you hate when movies do that like you think it's snatch but it's actually snatched with fucking amy schumer and gulby on every day every day that happens today i'm like i'm like oh turk it oh fucking amy schumer oh jesus christ i'm like

hbio oh flight of the flight of the concordes is on and it's oh it's flight of the navigator flate of the phoenix and play to the phoenix right that's actually not a bad movie Giovanni Ribisi's doing a weird accent the whole time. I can't figure out why, but it's a pretty good movie. It's fine. You know, Zach, one of these movies that's been on incessantly lately on Showtime was Zach and Miry make a porno and I can't figure out why. I can't get through that movie.

I watched it and it's fine, but like, I think we talked about this already. The scene where Tracy Lord is talking to Elizabeth Banks and like, there's no way Elizabeth Banks has ever attracted to Seth Rogen in any form and any character in any, like, ever. And she's just like, I don't know. I don't think I need the Loub. Like, all right, all right, Kevin Smith, we get it. We know you're the Seth Rogen avatar. blah, blah, blah.

It's just not, it's not great. So you like, I don't, in this scenario with the capitals emerging from the Eastern Conference, is it like a KHL situation where the penguins just run out of money and then they stop playing during the playoffs? Are they, are they getting upset in the first round by either the Flyers or the Blue Jackets? There's no team in that conference right now. Penguins can't, Penguins can read the Devils for God's sakes. Devils are like a one and a half flying team. Great. As we do the show tonight, they play tonight, the devil's are obviously, the devils are

now going to lose seven to two because of this boast. Oh, that's right. They do play tonight. Thanks. They're due. That's the thing. The devils are undefeated against Tampa and Pittsburgh. You ruined it. Right. So like, I don't know. I just, the West is Nashville for me. I'm still, I don't love Winnipeg like everybody else does. Toronto can't hold a lead. I'm still. No, they can't. Boy, last night, you knew that was going to happen. Three nothing. It's like, all right. It's going to get the three, two. Let's see what happens after that. Yeah. Boston, I don't trust, man. I just, I still don't have the trust for Boston.

I don't know why. Columbus is Columbus. Toronto's kind of fascinating in the sense that like they're close. Like they're close. Like they've got the pieces up front. They need to add what to the blue line? Like two guys? Oh yeah. Like two guys?

I mean, it could be four. I mean, they just need better guys. Like if they're not going to be able to get a number one, it's so hard to get a number one defensive. Unless they, you know,

trade for Eric Carlson. Well, what they need to do is convince Drew Doughty to leave California, which I don't know if anybody can do. But like that'd be the guy in two years. He's got one more year, right? Well, what if the Kings,

Say the Kings missed the playoffs this year. And they're just like, what are we doing here? We're just going to tread water in eighth place forever. Maybe they trade Dowdy this summer. The Eric Carlson thing is really interesting because obviously Eugene Melnick just does not fucking care about his fans. Oh, none. And so like... He got his organ.

He's fine. He's got all he needs. So the idea that he could trade Eric Carlson or order a trade of Eric Carlson to the Leafs next year is not out of the wrong possibility of my mind. Like he doesn't really, he doesn't care. No. He does not care. I order it. What are we getting?

We're going to get a... We're going to get Matt Martin and Garrett Sparks. Done. Done. Yep. But Dowdy, Dowdy. Yeah, they need at least two better good defensemen. And they might have, I mean, I don't know.

They'll be better next year. But they're just, they're vulnerable. Every team in the East feels vulnerable to me. The Florida Panthers, as we do the show, 85 points, the Devils 88, Columbus 91. It's looking very much like it's the Devils are bust for the Panthers. Panthers have a game in hand. Flyers are still kind of, eh. as we do.

They both are in action tonight, by the way. You think the Panthers are going to catch the mighty devs, or do you think the devs are good? Well, I was doing the old math, the old analytics, as the kids call them. Wow. And the Panthers had two games at hand at the time, and the Devils obviously had two fewer games because that's what two games at hand mean.

Thank you. Awesome. And the Devils had, what do they have left? They had Carolina. They basically had whatever it was, say if they had seven games left, Like four they were supposed to win And three were kind of like Could go either way. And let's say if they go four and oh in the games

They're supposed to win and one and two against. I forget they play three good teams. I think the devil said Pittsburgh Islanders at home At Montreal, Rangers, Toronto at home at Washington. Right. So they both have four home games left. Right. They already won the Carolina game they were supposed to win.

And Florida lost in Toronto a game they're really not supposed to win. So Florida I think kind of still has the game in hand in a way because they have some easier games left. They play Boston three times, which is the problem. The Boston three times Buffalo, Nashville, Carolina. The Boston three times things is... I mean, two of those will be against Boston, one will be against Providence. Three times, Greg.

Three times. They never said you went three times. Wow. How's that for a reference? That's a good poll. So, I don't know. I think the devils are probably still going to get there, but I just... The whole riding Keith Kincaid to the finish line thing would just worry me a little bit.

It worries me that they have to play the Islanders and the Rangers. Those are two games that could easily go sideways. The Islanders and Rangers are so done. You got to get three out of four points there. I'd like to think you have to get four points out of those. And then I think Florida's got the more favorable schedule and that they have four straight home games versus having their home games broken up like the devils do.

The devils also might have an advantage too because their last game is against the caps, right? So the caps might be like screw it. We have nothing to play for. And the big advantage for the devils, they only have one back to back while Florida has, this will be, tonight is the first of three that they have down the stretch.

Yeah, like if they play, who do they play? They play some Montreal tonight? They got Ottawa tonight. Ottawa, yeah. Carolina, Nashville, Buffalo, and Boston. an end of the season. Like, if they lose, like, I think the way I figured it out

was if Florida doesn't lose any of the games they're supposed to win, I think they've got a really good chance. I can't believe we went through this entire segment without me going, all right, Ottawa, Boston, Carolina, Nashville, back to back, Boston again,

then you got Buffalo and Boston back to back at the end. This is like, we just, I don't understand how we do an entire first segment on Mike in the Mad Dog and not recognize that we're doing overrunners, basically. Win, loss, win, win, win, win, loss under over

let's pause let's pause on carolina for a second by the way bill peters has an out in his contract do you think he takes or do you think he gets fired there's the mutual parting of ways i guess right what's what does he have left i guess i guess probably a couple years like maybe a year left i don't know but like new new gm gets new coach i mean and this guy has not gotten results mainly because of scott darling but also because just not they've not gotten the results so he's probably gone right yeah how many of those goals in the devil's game where scott darlings's

By the way, none. None. None goals. That's every fucking game. Carolina sucks. Carolina sucks structurally in their own zone so bad. So Bill Peters should go. You should go.

They should make it, I mean, well, it depends on what he gets in the mutual parting of ways situation if he takes the out. Like, he's, does he have a job lined up? I feel like he would have a job lined up for some reason. If he was going to leave? Like if, I'm not saying like that's why. First head coach of the Seattle, whatever's? Nah, that's too far away. Is it?

It's two years. It's two years. fired and then you collect. Go Costanza. You collect for a year and then you go coach Seattle. Where do you think Lane Vigno is going to end up? On TV. You think so? Because here's the thing. I feel like

Gulletson's going to get fired in Calgary. Oh, you don't want a lane Vigno behind your bench, man. Why? I'm telling you. Why not? He's dog shit. First couple of years, Lane Vigno with the talent on that roster, that defense? He'll make something out of it. Here's my bold prediction. He won't get out. Everything out of it he should.

Lane Vigno. goes to the Calgary Flames. You're not watching enough for injury games. The Calgary Flames will be in the Stanley Cup final, the final, within the next two years. See, like, that's such a bad prediction that I won't even bet you on it, because I don't want to just take your money so easily. That's insane. Oh, I'm not, this is not a wager. This is a fact.

Either in 19 or 20. The Calgary Flames are going to come out of a conference with the Predators, the Jets. Yes. I'm not going to say Vegas because I don't think they're going to do this. Now who will be their goalie? Henrik Lundquist to reunite with the coach he loves. Yes, yeah. By the way, that's the thing I love to about, like, Elaine Vigno.

Someone says, like, coming down the stretch here, you know, you're going to see what the kids can do. You're going to maybe shut down Lundquist for the season, and he's like, yeah, you go tell him that. What are you? Are you, what are you an asshole? You're the coach. Go tell him he's not playing. He's 30 hundred years old. Put him on the bench.

He doesn't it your job to tell him that? Yeah. Oh, you tell him that. Oh, isn't it your job to tell him that? I know. And then it's like, what happens if you tell him he? gets mad. They fire you, which they're going to do anyway. Right. Yeah. Like, go out a

blaze of glory, man. Be like, I'm starting Pavlik the rest of the way. Okay. You should be tanging. Shut! Damn! Like, the Rangers, if they really tanked hard enough, they could have got, like, into the bottom five, instead they're, like, running Lunkwist out there and make 47 saves. Like, why? Why? It doesn't seem like

anybody wants to tank. Like, does the fucking Arizona know? Do they know? Do they know what their roster looks like? What a dumbass organization that is, man. Like, and I love seeing people on Twitter that are, like, this is a good sign for next year. Yeah, this is an inspiring thing. Why?

A fucking garbage time team. Yeah, it's like watching a garbage time 12th, 12th man on the bench come out and score seven points for the nets. Yeah. You're like, oh, this is really, he's going to get a real encouraging boost for next season. Like, if a fucking fucking shit. You know what's going to be encouraging if they play well in October next year? You know, this is nonsense.

Remember those years when Columbus would close the year like 9-0-1 and people would be like coming up next year, here we go. You know what would be encouraging next year if you started the year with fucking Oliver Reckman-Larson on one pairing and Raspers. Stahlene on the other one. That'd be really encouraging. It would have to work out where they wind up in the slot that wins the lottery because they got hot, then you can be like, see it worked out. But the

goal should not be that. Oh, and that's the shit that I'm really getting fucking sick of. Everybody praising Arizona and being like, you see, this is why they should adopt the gold plan, where you encourage teams to play well after they're eliminated in order to get a higher draft pick. No. This is why my plan is the only one that

works. What? Well, oh, what? Fuck it. Everyone gets in. The winning matters now. Whizie wig or whatever. Nimbie. What did you call it again? Whizzy wig. Fizzy wig. What is it?

Whizzy wig. Look at you, you friggin, former sports editor on a desk who knows what Wizzywig is. What is it again? Fiji? What you see is what you get? Fige? What was the name of your plan?

Fuck it. Everyone gets in. Right. Fiji. Fiji. Fiji. Fieri. Like right now, if you're a coyote fan, you're like, shit, we're

screwing up our draft pickbook, man. We got a chance to make a run. The Fieri plan. The Fieri plan. We got diners, drives and dives and 30. one NFL teams making the playoffs all the next on the next triple B. Tell me you saw the Thanos as Guy Fieri

that was going around. That was great. He's got like the blonde hair, the sunglasses, and he's holding up with the hand. And he goes, I'm looking for the flavor stone. It's really good. It's a good piece of Twitter. In the Western Conference,

keep in mind there's a bunch of games tonight. Nashville 109, they obviously get the first seed. Winnipeg and Minnesota. It's a fun matchup. I mean, it ain't going to be a good series. Winnipeg will probably roll them in four. But like, at least it gives you a chance. to get reacquainted with that

geographic rivalry. The old North Stars and Jets rivalry back in the day when it was Cheapotinemannin and oh, the old what's Alex Dean's Alex Dean's that

Tomasstein and oh the North Stars had many Broughtons all the Brutons in the world they had That's Milwaukee No, Brotens like Aaron and Oh Broughton

That they meant Meal not Brots Like Brots Like a sour Brotts Like a sour Brotten? Oh, is that... Bring it on. Oh, it's been brought in.

How could that headline not have existed in the Star Tribune at some point? What's that? Sour Broughton. Neal Demands Trade or some shit. Wait, what's a sour brotten? You know what a sour brotten is? Oh, my God. You and your crazy German heritage over here.

Sour brotten. Okay, ready? Mm-hmm. From our friends... Is it a brat? Or is it just like a thing? Sourbrotin is a German pot roast that can be prepared with a variety of meats, most often beef, but also from venison, lamb, mutton, pork, and traditionally horse.

One time on a baseball trip, me and my friends were in Milwaukee. One time on a baseball trip? I stuck a bat. My friend Jeff, who is always miserable on these trips because he hates baseball, booked us a Saturday night dinner. We usually do a nice Saturday night dinner, and he picked this German place, right? So we drank all day, and we're hungry, and we go in this German place, and I think he ordered for us. They brought out the food, and I've never been so close to vomiting.

on a table based on the smell and appearance of the food. I will never eat German food or go to a German restaurant ever again. It was so good. You just slathered mustard on it, though. But it was like the ref when she brings out her dinner and it's all like gookens and coosens. They're not. That's what it was like. And I was like, I got to go to the bathroom.

I'll be right back. So that's what I think of when I did. So what would a Winnipeg Minnesota series mean to you? Oh. I'm bullish on the wild. You like the wild. It's just that I don't like. Winnipeg as much as everybody else.

Why? I'm not like, for, for years, we were all, we were all pretty much universally agreed that Winnipeg was an underachieving team and not good. And then they have one good regular season. Oh, you're right at Paul Morris. And now we're putting them into the Stanley Cup final already. It's weird. I don't know about you, but every time I watch Winnipeg play anybody, I immediately tweet,

give me seven games of Winnipeg versus this team. That's every game anyone watches now, apparently. You're watching like a Ducks Islanders game. Give me seven games of this. Put it right in my veins. What about five or six? What if I want a couple days off between the series? Whenever I see a free agent, a pending free agent, I say to myself, you know what?

You know what would be really interesting? I think there's a possibility for a sign and trade, a sign and trade, which, by the way, has never happened in the history of this since the new CPA came into effect, I believe. Was that never, well, yeah. It's never happened. There's never, there's never been a situation where somebody got eight and then they got traded to a team. No, but one time Ron Wilson kind of fucked over Devin's. set of Gucci to get Brett Burns. He signed them in the offseason, and immediately sent on the Minnesota.

But that wasn't from the fucking new CBA, though. No, no, no. It was from 2012 when they changed the rules and shit. No, I mean, it wasn't even really a sign and trade. It was just like, Devin, we want here for three more years. But every time, every time we talk about John Carlson, every time we talk about John DeVarren. You know what? Possibility of a sign and trade. Possibility of a thing that'll never happen because, A, they're going to re-sign with their teams and, B, no one's ever done a sign-and-trade. What, like, what does it benefit the player to do?

They get the extra year? That's it? I guess so. why they're going to give up their free agent, right? Well, the theory is they sign with the teams they're currently with to get that extra year. That's one of the reasons they stay. That's what I mean. But, like, say if you're a player, right?

Why would you, why would you let the team do that to you? Well, that's just the thing. Like, the benefit to the team is that they can bring down their cap hit, but the player is like, why? Like, why? I have all the leverage. Why would they bring down their capitol? Oh, because the longer or the longer deal? Slightly lower.

I wouldn't. Not like Colvichuk making as much money as a guy working at Wendy's low, but like, low. It was pretty low. It was amazing. John Tavares, man. By the way, Joshosang, I know I know nobody likes Joshosang. No, no, no, everybody likes Joshosang because he speaks the truth.

Oh, I've seen some people that are just like, oh, problem guy, blah, blah, blah, blah. He makes it a good point. Like, he hasn't been on the team for 60 games, and there's still the shittiest defensive team in the league. Maybe it wasn't Josh Osang that was causing the problems for the first 20. But what do I know? I just know that he's, it's almost like he's Russian. You know what I mean?

Like, he's this really skilled dude, and everyone says he can't play defense and he can't crack the roster, but the islanders. I genuinely would like to see what happens when he leaves that organization. To ours? No, Josh Hossang. Because it's going to happen soon. And he's one of these guys that I feel like is, and rightfully so, has been a cause for a lot of people to call out how he's been treated in life and how the Islanders have buried him. But he's also one of these guys that when he goes to the next organization and if this shit still happens, I want to see what people say.

I want to see what people say if he goes to someplace else and they're like, This fucking guy doesn't want to learn how to play a defense and shoots his mouth off and he's a problem. We're going to bury him in the HL. Like, I mean, I've only seen him play live a few times. He is kind of a vulnerability or a liability on the ice a little bit. But I mean, still, he'll score you 50, 60 points as a rookie probably. And I don't know. This game's stupid.

Well, it's like how a vander cane, remember how the shit in Winnipeg with the Vander Cane went down? And everybody's like, he's just misunderstood. You know, he's just like, you know, misunderstood. Then he goes Buffalo. He gets in trouble twice. And they're like, fuck this guy. Don't even fucking mention his name anymore. Just say number nine or whatever.

Where's. Like, I feel like, I'm not saying the Hossang is going to be involved in criminal activity. I'm just saying it's, it's interesting how, like, the misunderstood problematic player in one market can go to another market, then all of a sudden it's like, oh, fuck, well, maybe he's just kind of an asshole. But he doesn't run his mouth off until he's been in the minors. Until Arthur Staple goes to Bridgeport and puts a reporter in his face. It's not like he was running his mouth off the first 20 games he was in the NHL and that was the issue. Yeah. It just seems like in other sports, when you have the super talented guy, like, say, for instance,

O'Dow Beckham. He's super talented. Yeah, he's, he's kind of a, you know, a free spirit, Dave. He's a free spirit. I mean, dude, if you're going to have a girl in your hotel room doing Coke, put the fucking phone away, man. Like, I'm just saying, eat your pizza and let her do the Coke and then you guys could fuck all night on Coke and pizza. Or at least. Turn the Snapchat. Have her do the Coke on the phone, so you can get a really cool. Like, can you imagine, like, her doing Coke and then there's like panda ears on Snapchat? Like, how fun would that be? By the way, that is, that is one of my only favorite things about, like, a tweet that kind of goes viral is you discover that there are two things that still exist. One is the girl

picture avatar with the dog ears and the dog knows from Snapchat. And the dudes, it's always girls with the Snapchat and it's always dudes that still have the madmen avatars. Right. You see, like a fucking Don Draper avatar. Oh, it's a great point. How is that still, how do you still have a madman avatar in 2018? But the point is, in hockey, it seems like coaches can't figure out a way to manage a super talented guy who's not the perfect player when he's 21 years old. But in other sports, they seem to find a way to make it work. Speaking of Mad Men, I mentioned on our last show with Pete Blackburn that we are binging billions.

And my first thought was that billions was going to be like Mad Men. But it's not. Billions is actually the Sopranos. It's alpha males bumping heads. It's like Malin Ackerman is the wife of a guy who's clearly a criminal and she's trying to keep their little world together while the feds close in and shit. It's very much the Sopranos. But the Sopranos obviously never spent as much time with the law.

enforcement as billions does where we have to see Paul Giamatti too much of Paul Giamatti. Apparently he's like he's into being dominated right? Yeah. He wants to have his like balls whipped and stuff. Oh, it's a thing.

Oh, it's very much a thing. There's a lot of Paul Giamatti in this show. Oh, do you see his, do you see his... No, you just see... You see his George the Animal Steel like body and like strapped to a wheel with like handcuffs and shit.

It's funny that you say that. Did you see the commercials for Mitch Marter where he's like meeting with two people who are trying to do a casting call for him. Yeah. And like Matt Martin's in the commercial. He's wearing a super tight shirt. I never noticed, but like Matt Martin has like the physique of like a super strong guy from the 50s.

Like like on the back of the comic book where it's like we can give you this build. Yeah. We can look like Charles Atlas. Yes. It's exactly. And like you can tell by looking at him he's in super great shape and everything. But like usually like today in like 2018 dudes are like lean in their cut. Right.

Like he kind of has like a stomach, but it's muscle. Right. No, it's muscle. And I don't remember seeing anyone look like that in this modern time of, like, being lean and shit. I've always felt that the changeover was when barbells went from being giant balls on the ends of them. Like, old-timey barbells being more of the discs. Like, I feel like that's what I mean. Right.

Like Matt Martin works out with like old-timey cartoon weights. That's why he's jacked like that. Right. Absolutely. Whatever works for you, man. I got to get on the Matt Martin. They're like, Matt, what's with the physique? I don't want sand kicked on my face at the beach.

Like if you punch them in the stomach, you'd be like, oh, that's his vulnerable spot. And your hand would shatter on the absolute muscle. That's not his vulnerable spot. He's not King Hippo. Vegas, of course, is still your leader in the Western Conference's Pacific Division. But you said that they, I mean, they've obviously fallen off a lot. Yeah, they're going to lose in the first round. I think they're going to win the first round.

I think they lose the second. They're going to fall off. All right, let's do it. Let's wait for the playoffs to start. I just want to make sure you want to stick with it because it's the Vaselowski thing, you turned around on quite a quick. No, I mean, I'll bet right now that Vegas won the first round. series. All right, Don.

Okay. What do we bet in? It's about something interesting. Bottle of Quantro. We drank it the rest of it last night making Paul Quantrell? Who's Paul Quantrell? The bottle of what?

His urine? Who else? Cuato from Total Recall? If you tweet out us Puck Soup podcast on Twitter and tell us what we should wager, we will wager it. Yeah. There you go. It's something interesting.

I can't keep taking 20 bucks from you and giving it back on technicalities all the time. It's no fun for me. Yeah, it's become sort of that scene in the naked gun where he gives the 20 bucks the informant. And he's like, what do you know about this? He's like, I don't know.

What do you know about? Why do you want to know? He's like, I don't know. Well, maybe this little jogging memory. San Jose, L.A., two, three.

Whatever the combination is between San Jose and L.A. or Anaheim, give it to me, man. This can be fucking great. Like any of those California teams play together in the first round,

it's always going to be fun. You want San Jose, Anaheim's, so we get Anaheim out of there? No, I want San Jose L.A. I don't want Anaheim. I hate watching Anaheim playoff games. They're fucking boring.

If it's San Jose. Whoever of San Jose plays, they're going to beat them. Yeah, probably. I'd pick them probably this series. Yeah, so I think you get Anaheim in that series to get them the fuck out of the playoffs, right? Well, I wouldn't, well, yeah, if Anaheim plays Vegas. Plus, you'll also get the fucking Thornton gets laugh battle if Joe's healthy, too. That'd be fun.

I'd rather just see San Jose play L.A. That's like the only series where, like, in the first round, you know, people are like, oh, give me seven games of. That's the only one I want seven games of. I want seven games on Nashville, L.A. But actually, that's not true. Like, okay, here's the thing. Nashville would wax L.A. in five. I really want Vegas, L.A., but then I'm going to lose his bet because I feel like L.A. is going to kill him first.

So who do you think Vegas beats then? And that's in the bottom of the – you think they beat St. Louis or Colorado? Look, and he split. I mean, let's face it. It's a revenge series for David Perron. It's going to be every series for Vegas. Oh, it's not a cup final. Do they want to win the cup final, or does Nate Schmidt want to beat the capitals?

It's going to be so fucking depressing when we're going to win. William Carlson goes an entire playoff series without a point after the season he's had. That's what's going to happen is like Vegas is going to, like, they've already kind of hit the wall. They're going to lose their first round series in five, and everyone's going to be like, oh, was the experiment of failure? You know, like, people just turn out people. Way too goddamn using this word. You think that's her going to really be the take? Like, it's going to be like, what did they really cap this?

There's a take out there that's like Connor McDavid shouldn't be the MVP, which is fine. But it's only because he shouldn't be the MVP because he's a solo act. Like, there's idiots everywhere that they're going to. There was some idiot that made the case that he wasn't, like he wasn't valuable to the whaler. Yeah, that guy. It was after the 7-3 Columbus loss. Yeah, it was horses. Where he was just like, oh.

Which was really funny, by the way. I mean, as someone who is not going to be giving his heart vote to Conner, David, all this shit of like, oh, so valuable. It would have been 7-0 without Connor here getting his three points. Oh, ready? I got to tell you. I've been working on an impression. Oh, please. We do.

We do. impressions on the show. I haven't really... I was unaware of that. I haven't really practiced it too much, so if it's a little rusty. This is my impression of someone who for the last two months has been touting Nikita Kutjurov as the MVP, waking up last week in the morning and seeing Connor McDavid pass Kuthorov in the points race, ready? Go ahead, yes.

Connor McDavid should be the MVP. Thank you. That's my impression. Nikita Kuthorov's not the MVP anymore. Now it's Connor McDavid because he has four more points than Nikita Kuturoff. I love it. I love the sport. I love the people who cover it.

at the actor's studio, we don't often ask for things in the moment, but if you could, if we might have a moment to talk to guy who has been touting Andre Vasilesky as the runaway Besna winner, having seen the way Andre Vaselowski has played in the last month. So I was watching Star Wars. And Andre Vaselowski's play reminded me very much of Obi-Wan Kenobi's role in the original Star Wars, where early on he was extremely helpful and he was there for the rebels. And then he let himself get killed. And he left everyone around him.

And Dave, when you go to the pearly gates and you see St. Peter in front of you, what would you like him to tell you? How the iTunes podcast ratings work. The answer on inside the actress studio, there's only one answer to the, when you die and go to the pearly gates and see St. Peter question. What do you want him to tell you? And the answer is always, good job. That's what they always say. And then everybody claps. Ladies and gentlemen, Kevin Spacey.

Everybody claps. I didn't see the ending to the usual suspects coming. All right. St. Louis, Anaheim on the Bub right now. Colorado, one point back of both as we do the show. Dallas, they're cooked. Does Colorado get in here? Do they make the thing?

Do they do the thing? Or is it St. Louis and Anaheim and the Kings that end up in the playoffs instead? I feel like Colorado is going to be the team that misses still. I think I was on Colorado last time we did this, right? Colorado was a point out. They kind of made a little push, then they kind of fell back a little bit. I just like, I don't know. What's the remaining schedule?

Do you have it in front of you? Hey, I do, Mikey. Versus Chicago at Anaheim, at L.A., at San Jose. Three in California in a row. Good sunshine out there, but not the easiest games. Dog, I'm going to say two in two in that stretch. Versus St. Louis, the closest season, Mikey. Ooh, in St. Louis?

Oh, they're at home. They're in Colorado. The problem is that, like, I think Colorado's better than St. Louis. but I feel like Colorado is just going to that three and four in Cali that's never good man it's not good like the devils went the devils were three and oh on the road trip going in there

and they went one and two and got smoked twice and they're also getting slam with the goaltending injury bug right now too I feel like they're going to fall short too which sucks so what happens then with your MVP vote well we'll talk about that in a second but first if you want to watch any of these playoff games there's only one way to do it

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Someone else used Seekek in front of us. A couple of Tampa fans were decked out in their Tampa gear in front of us. And when the Lightning scored their first goal, one of the people turned around to ask for a high five for my daughter and she refused. Oh, wow. And then at the end of the game, when the Devils won,

this guy, you know, all in good fun, turned around and wanted to give her a high five for hey, good game, and she refused. Wow. And I had to, like, tell her, it's okay now. Like, it's over. We won. Like, the good guys won.

It's fine. See, like, I want the next game to be her giving double-barrow middle fingers to somebody. I told her the story about how my sister had a beer thrown at her by a Ranger fan once. I've told this on the show many times where a Ranger fan threw a beer at my sister because she started dropping F-bombs about Bredore. like my sister to this Ranger fan like the Ranger fan was trolling her or whatever and then the Ranger fan threw a beer at her

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Just download the app today. And for the promo code Soup, SOUP. That's spelled soup. That's promo code soup for $20 off your first Seekeky purchase. I don't know what I'm going to do. If Colorado and the Devils both missed the playoffs, then now Nathan McKinnon and Taylor Hall are on the outside looking at. The good news is that,

the kings will get in in that scenario, which means the Kopitar will be in the playoffs. And he is without question a heart finalist for me in what he's accomplished this year. I've got a long read on the Hart Trophy coming up on Friday. I don't want to give away the goose here, but suffice it to say that the arguments being made for Connor McDavid are stupid. are not only stupid, but completely unprecedented in the history of the Hart Trophy since the 68 expansion. I saw another piece of logic, too. I don't think this person has a vote or anything, but somebody, like E.J. Radick tweeted that he doesn't think Connor McDavid should be a finalist. And then E.J. took it on the chin because he's an establishment media.

And people were like, look, this old dumb guy. No, no, it was another old guy. It was an older guy than E.J. replied and said that it was just long. By the way, when you reply on Twitter with the new length, you don't need to go the full 280. No one's going to read it. But this guy did the full 280 on EJ. And his logic was, Connor McDavid is the guy who I find to be the most compelling player in the league.

Therefore, his value to the Oilers is stronger than everybody else is. It's like, okay, it's not the most outstanding player. It's not the most compelling player. It's the most valuable player to his team. It's been that forever. I'm sorry that this year it's harder than it is in most years, but you just can't give it to the guy based on your criteria that you're making up. You can't.

If you've been doing that the past, you should confess, so we take your vote away. I think he I think the biggest problem I have with this One is that he's going to win the heart trophy Because too many of our colleagues are starting to turn And and slowly Slowly pilot their ships towards island The aisle of McDavid

Nicky Ducreops waving on his aisle What about me? You were coming over to me for like the last two months Comrades I was played out of year before I do change a breakaway goal like six times I was an all star Remember love fest Like, Conner McDavid is going to be a finalist.

I would bet anything that he'll be one of the three guys. I think he's definitely going to be a finalist. I'm honestly not convinced he's going to win, but he's definitely going to be a finalist. My biggest problem right now is that, like, I got people taking runs at me saying you hate Connor McDavid. Like, are you out of your fucking mind? Like, first of all, once in future Pucks who guessed. Also got the bump, won the MVP. Yep, one of the MVP.

Right after we did. I love McDavid. I got McDavid jersey. He's a member of the exalted team North America. Best player in hockey. He's the best. I love watching him. I'm angry at the Oilers for being this.

terrible that we don't get to watch more of them. I will, you know, admit a certain disdain for the Oilers as an organization for several reasons. But this is an argument about logic. This is an argument about standards. This is an argument about precedent. It has nothing. It's not like the only exceptional thing about this vis-a-vis, thank you, Connor McDavid,

is that these arguments are being made because it's McDavid. These arguments were not made for Colvichuk. These arguments were not made for Rick Nash. These arguments were not made for almost any other player in the last 40 years, save for Salani and a ginla two years. That's it. Otherwise, this is just like some bullshit that Oilers fans are bored, so they decided to start rallying for Connor for the MVP. And the analytics community decided that they could disrupt the whole thing because they've got some numbers to back up his value. That's the thing.

This is what I wrote about when I did my MVP thing where like Mike Trout now and, baseball is going to win the MVP forever, no matter how bad the angels are because of the stat war. And also because there are fucking 10 teams that get in the playoffs, a few of them for cameo appearances in baseball versus fucking 16 in hockey. No, but it's still, though, like, that's what people base it on because wins above replacement is basically like how you would determine value, right? Even though like that's an equation, it's a formula, you know, it's not necessarily like

airtight. Hockey doesn't really have a system for war just yet. But if there was, McDavid would probably be like 17,000 games above the next closest sky and that's what people are going to base the value quote-un-un-cloth. Yeah, because, yeah, because everybody's, eventually every other analytic community in sports steals from baseball. Yeah. Yeah.

But like, what are we going to do for the next 10 years? Just give McDavid the MVP, no matter how good his team is. Like, that doesn't, that's, that's, that's, it's, it's, I got every podcast now. I mean, hey, I mean, Gretzky had that run, too. Like, Gretzky won the MVP every year because, like, who the puck is more, more valuable than Gretzky? The only difference is that Gretzky was, you know, scoring 200 points and getting his team into the playoffs every year.

Like if you, I don't know, I can't tell you what the difference is between like Gretzky and like the next four guys. But like if it's, if it's, if it's McDavid with 101 and then like three guys between 97 and 93 points, like that's not, he's not, he's not so far and away better. Yeah. Yeah, like the year Mario won being one point out of the playoffs. Like, I think he was like 30 points clear of the next guy for the, for the art Ross.

That's, you can, you can so make the case when it's like that. Simply winning the trophies does not mean that you had a year above and beyond what McKin. And the thing about, like, listen, I, I, I, I, I, I. I've made the argument you got to be in it to win it. I am, if not anything, as a, as a, you know, approaching middle-aged white male. Very open-minded. Yeah, you pass that middle age like five years ago.

You fuck, just go fuck yourself. We're the same age, man. It's, it's where we're... I plan, with the advent of nanotechnology, I plan on living a lot longer. So I don't think I'm at middle-aged yet. So when you, when you, when you kidnap, um, uh, Emilio Estevez using the freejack system, right. Put your, put your younger, older self in his body.

In his body, right. How old will you be when you do that? Technically, that's the end of that life. I will be probably around 80. Yeah. And then, you know, obviously, you know, Mick Jagger is going to chase me, you know. He's a free jack man. He's jacking and he's free.

Who can forget the classic line for Free Jack? Hey, he's a free jack, man. I feel like Anthony Hawkins has been 80 years old in every movie since 1992. I know. Like, if you go back and watch Silence of the Lambs, like, he looks youngish for his eight. But, like, I feel like ever since that movie, he's been like Odin's age. He was youngest in that movie, but, like, compared to, obviously, that's the way age works, but, like, he still looked like he was fucking 65. Yeah.

He still looked, like, like, grandpa with the slick back, the slick back hair. But, like, he was, like, he looked like, like, the kind of person who could do the stuff he does and, like, killing people. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Like, in Hannibal, when he's, he's doing more shit than he ever did in Silence of the Lambs. Like, he's literally biting people's faces off and disemboweling them and cutting Ray Leo's head open and shit. Is it?

He's built, like, like, fucking. He's built like Matt Martin. Yeah. Like, he had, in Silence to the Lams, he has like that strong, in Silence of the Lams. He's built like Matt Martin and Hannibal. He's built like fucking Pudge Rodriguez.

I don't remember. To me, like there's no bigger drop off in sequels than from Silence to the Lamps to all the things after Silence of the Lamps. Like fucking Ray Fines eating a painting and shoes. He might be right on that one. Although I will make the case for another steak out.

Wait, that was the one? Was Emilio Estevez and Richard Dreyfus? No, but Madeline was it in the second one? Who was the second one? Rosie O'Donnell was in the second one. You're right.

They're like, how can we have to take a cue from Superman 3. Let's get the hottest comedian we can and put them in this movie to really spice up things. Well, Rosalie, O'Donnell is good in the movie where it's like the Dan Aykwright and Dana Delaney. It's like the sex. Oh, exit to Ed? Yes, that's what it was. She was also really good in, and she was really good in this show Smilf on Showtime, which she just plays an old, crazy Boston lady, which I think is kind of her purview. And then the other thing, too, was she was really good.

Remember beautiful girls? That was a flick that came out during my college years. The movie with... Oh, with Timothy Hutton. Yeah, and... Natalie Portman was like... Natalie Portman was like the... The saddenable kid or...

...nextor. Yeah, no. She was like 12. Yeah, but like he had a crush on... Or she had a crush on him. Yeah, Timothy Hutton. Or she had a crush on Timothy Hutton. Yeah, I don't think Timothy Hutton was like...

Humoring her crush. Yes, like, yeah, he wasn't pursuing Natalie Portman in beautiful girls. Two things real quick. First of all, I don't know if you know this, but my comfort food when I'm writing at night now is Lifetime Original Movies. Really? Just throwing one on. And last night I was writing pretty late, and I put one on, and I'm going to give you the setup.

There's an English teacher. He's living across the street from a girl who moves into a house. This is the Carri-Always Alicia Silverstone lives. It sounds like it, right? The girl ends up being in his class. She also ends up being crazy. But he never picks up on this. He cooks her dinner.

He's married, by the way. How old is the... He goes... Hold on. He goes over. He fixes the, no, no, this is high school. Is cooking her dinner? Yeah.

He goes over. He fixes her plumbing and the water sprays all over her and now she's got a wet shirt on. What? And she's doing all these things. I don't want to give away the movie. But the point of this is the idiot teacher who can't see that the crazy high school student is desiring him and is eventually going to harm his family. Or just inviting her over for dinner is weird too. But okay.

Chris Klein from American Pie. Oh, yeah. It was the greatest piece of casting I've ever seen. If you could find a guy who's like a good looking could probably be an English teacher, but as dumb as a fucking box of rocks. Oh, dude. The whole time, I thought you meant he was English. No, no, no, no, no. I don't mean like, hello.

Jolie good. Why is Chris Klein not doing an accent? No. He's an English teacher. Spot a tea, governor. You're going to fuck a pie. And also, 18 million people watch the Roseanne reboot. And everyone's claiming that it's a betrayal of the character that she's a Trump supporter on the show.

I don't know if you ever watched Roseanne back in the day. But like, wouldn't that be obvious that, like, that Roseanne that we watched for fucking however long it was before the show tried to become absolutely fabulous and it sucked, was a woman who would look at Hillary Clinton and fucking hate Hillary Clinton enough that she would support Trump? Like, I completely buy that with that character. So who was in office when that show was on? Was it Bush? Probably Bush and then Clinton a little bit. I want to say it was maybe it was Bush. it might have been both.

It was off forever? But was there ever an episode where she was just like, I'm going to go support Bush? No. Like, that's what I mean. Like, now they're just trying. We don't know what her policy.

We knew she was a feminist, but we don't know what her politics were. But like I saw Aaron Ryan tweeted something this morning that I thought was basically the point was like, there's a million shows on now that are like super woke with super woke characters. And whenever you have a show that like appeals to an underserved audience, whether it's, you know, it could be gay or lesbian or it could be just, you know,

unwoke assholes. Yeah. You put a show on for unwoke assholes. they're all going to go to that one show and that's why 18 million people are going to watch it. I mean, I think it's mostly nostalgia, but I also think that there is a certain, the thing about, the thing about Roseanne that I find interesting is that I think it's a Trojan horse. I think there's a lot of liberal politics on that show. I mean, Sarah Gilbert's like an executive producer on the show now. Like I was going to say, like her character on the show when she was very much like a hippieish. Yeah. It's not going to be the MAGA hour. I mean, it's going to be. Oh, it's an hour show now?

No, there was two episodes this past week, so it was sort of an hour show. But like, no, I feel like it's not going to. be like Roseanne's politics all over the place. I think it's going to be more balanced. But again, like, the most interesting thing to me is that when people were complaining, you know, you can't make that person the center of the show. Like it's, you know, I don't want to watch the show because I'm like,

do you remember, no one is a fucking student of history. The most popular sitcom of the 1970s was a show where there's a giant old racist asshole and his liberal kids. How on all this? Fucking all in the family. Oh, mash. I think you were doing mash. I was doing mash. I was like,

who's there. Who's the old? There's precedent for this. Like, it's not going to deter people from watching the show. But Archie Bunker was, like, the object of the jokes, though. You know what I mean? I think she's the object of the jokes in some ways, too. I don't think it's, like, a situation where she's going to be like...

Roseanna in real life's kind of fucking garbage, though. You know what I mean? She is totally garbage. I don't think Carol O'Connor was garbage. That's what made that show so interesting. And back in the day is because it was, like, great writing, impeccable casting. And then the quality of the show would greatly vary depending on the mental state of its creator. Right.

But the Carol... I don't want to be a half. housewife anymore. I want to win the lottery and go be absolutely fabulous. Is that how it ended? Yeah. By the way, for anyone who likes this show now, who's always constantly one of those people on Twitter that yells at people, stay out of politics.

Well, here's a show that you like that has politics. So shut the fuck out. Well, we're going to go into politics for a second. What's the deal with politics? I don't get it. The big topic of the week after this Roseanne thing was whether or not shows, other characters and other shows would also support

Trump. We're blessed on Puck Soup to have the world's most preeminent scholar when it comes to the TV show Friends. Thank you. Thank you. And I wanted to ask Dave Lozo about the cast of friends and who they would have voted for in the 2016 election.

I'll tell you the correct answer and I want you to tell me what you think. I have in front of me the BuzzFeed quiz asked this very question. So I actually have the People's results. We're doing the BuzzFeed quiz. Who did Chandler vote for in the 2016 election? Hillary.

Hillary Clinton won 53% of the vote on this. BuzzFeed quiz. Who did Joey vote for in the 2016 election? It was Gary Johnson. Now, another candidate only got 5%. The leading answer here is he didn't vote. That's also possible.

But my rationale is that he would vote for Gary Johnson because he thinks Johnson's funny. He would just be like, I like Johnson. That's hilarious. You don't think this is possibly he votes for Trump because he remembers him from TV? No, he would totally just be like, like, I'm all for Johnson and he would just think that's hilarious. Hey, that guy. He ran a great business. There's an episode where he's looking at National Geographic. He's laughing because he can see a pig's tits.

So he's definitely going to be the Johnson guy. Good point. Monica, I mean, come on. Also Hillary. Yeah, of course. Hillary, I mean, they would just do Monica and Chandler. Who did Phoebe vote for? Jill Stein.

Yeah, that one with 61% of the vote. You don't think she would have been a Bernie? No. Jill Stein. Yeah, she maybe would have been a Bernie and then like the Bernie Bros would have rose up. And she's like, ew! Jill Stein's kind of got like an older version of Phoebe thing going on. Right.

Oh, that's what I think it would be. Wow, I like that. That's like the mom. Maybe they can recruit Kudrow to star in whatever the Fire and Fury movie is going to be. Who? That movie that they're doing a movie version of the Michael. Oh, Kudrow. I think you said, Kudra.

What did you think I said? He said Kudjo. I'm like, who? I was like, Lisa Kudjo? Yes, they should get a rabid dog to play Jill Stein. Either one. Who did Rachel vote for? Trump.

59% of the people say Hillary, but you're probably right. Yeah. But she would not tell anybody. She's a rich kid from a rich family who would absolutely vote for Trump. Right. But when it's like, who did you vote for, Rachel? Oh, oh, oh, Hillary. Oh, of course.

Oh, Hillary, of course. Oh, oh, vote. Huh? And who did Ross vote for? Also Trump. Hillary Clinton, according to this, 45%. Wait, I don't understand. So who's deciding on this BuzzFeed thing, who they vote?

Is it just people were just voting? People. Oh, see? They're all wrong. But you think he voted for, why would he wrote for Trump? Same thing. He's from the same neighborhood as Rachel. he's an idiot, he's garbage.

But he's a sensitive, a sensitive boy. I think he'd be turned off by the alpha maleism of Trump. No, they have the same hair. Terrible, terrible looking hair. And finally, Gunther, Trump.

Wait, hold on. That was in my second batch of this. By the way, I tweeted this like two years ago. Gunther Trump, Janice Hillary, Joshua would vote Trump, Richard would vote Hillary, Paola would vote Hillary, Mark would vote Trump.

And David would vote Hillary. Oh, I like it. You wanted to talk about Andrew Ferrence. I did an interview with Andrew Ferrence where he talked about the NHL Green Initiative and also about his new job as director of social impact for the National Hockey League. Yeah. So you can get politics. What's the deal with politics?

Talk about politics. So I love Andrew Ferrence. Who doesn't? I love his hippie-ish, sort of crazy progressive leftist sort of ways. He rides a bike too much for me, but otherwise, I'm on board with everything. One can't ride alone in electric cars, Dave. Electric cars, too. He's like, he's like a younger, more handsome Ed Begley, basically, right?

That's what he is. I don't like this hiring from my, I don't even know this about me, but I'm a little bit cynical. I have a cynical point of view about things. And it just really feels like the NHL does not give a shit about anything Andrew Ferrence gives a shit about. But when something goes wrong now, they can just put Andrew Ferrence's name on the press release for the statement. You work there, so you think this is a token hire? Oh, I mean, I haven't worked there in five years, so I can't really say that. But the mindset at that place is that they don't really give a shit about anything this,

but now they have somebody who can talk about it. Six weeks ago, they fucking put Kid Rock at the All-Star game. So now you're telling me all of a sudden they care about inclusiveness and not just going after middle-aged white people now? I mean, it's not so much about going after middle-aged white people, Dave. It's that Kid Rock was available and could meet the price they were asking for. I mean, I would have got up there for 20 bucks and done some fucking friends theme songs. I would have performed for you.

But you're not famed. Like, he's got a modicum of fame. He was willing to, he wasn't going to the Grammys that were that same weekend. And he was also willing to work for several Tim Horton's gift cards. That's my deal breaker. It's got to be Duncan as opposed to Timmy's. I think, I think, I like, I mean, I think Ferrence is going to do good. The one, I'll be honest with you, the one part about our interview that kind of gave me a little bit of pause was this notion that that street hockey is going to be the key that unlocks the sport for, for, for.

communities that don't really embrace hockey right now. Like, I want to believe in that ideal, but I feel like that we've been talking about this for 25 years with, like, hockey and Harlem and shit like that. Like, I feel like we've tried to make street hockey happen. Now, maybe there's a different way of doing it. Maybe if you made it, like, two on two or three on three, and you put a bunch of trick videos on YouTube and shit.

Like, maybe there's a different way to do street hockey. But the idea of just, like, you go out of the play street hockey, and they'll understand ice hockey, and they'll want to watch the devils is, like, never worked. And so I'm a little bit... That's where my cynicism comes in is that that's going to be somehow the key that unlocks things.

Mine's the whole thing because former Puck Soup guest who actually, I realize this, we follow 68 people on the Puck Soup account so the next person will obviously be the nicest... The nicest follow. But really, it should be, Pete should have been 69 because Patrick Burke deleted his Twitter.

And Patrick is basically Andrew Ferrence, but like more aggressive in everything. And Patrick, I'm not saying the NHL told him to delete his Twitter, but Patrick did delete his Twitter after being extremely vocal about all the things Andrew Ferrence believes. And so, vis-a-vis if you're going to be forced to or feel pressure to delete your Twitter for standing up for all the things Andrew Ferren says the NHL should be invested in because you're afraid of repercussions to your career for saying those things, why do I, again, come back to the idea that the NHL really cares about anything Andrew Ferens?

And what you're essentially saying is this. If you're still going to be the lead that doesn't suspend Ryan Getslav for a gay slur because it's the playoffs. Or at least say something about it, man. Or retroactively suspend him in the regular season like MLB did for the dude on Houston. Oh, for Gueriel, yeah. Yeah, I mean, like. Well, Guriel was, that was, there was no way you could like play dumb with Guriel. Right.

Like, at least with Gets off, you can be like, oh, I never thought about how, what was the word he used again? He used the word. He said cock sucker. Right. Like, you never really, I was the same thing. If I heard that word, I never would have thought about it until somebody pointed out. But still, it would be nice if the NHL was like, hey. Yeah, well, the real problem isn't that you have to reconsider it.

The real problem is that you have got. the NHL are like, hey, what's wrong with that? That's most of my email subject headings when I write about my son. Don't, yeah, seriously, fucking cold. Boy, it's just such a backwards league. Them teaching the goalies to dive

is what them doing. I'm starting to get into like old prospector territory with McColling. It is. I discovered a diamond in the rough. That diamond is everyone's trying to get my son. Jesus Christ. I just, I'm just

super cynical from the point of like I just think it's a complete PR move and they're taking advantage of air references cachet with people and I don't think they're really going to do. Coley, why you why you in the middle of the ice with a pickaxe? Oh, I'm going to find the black gold. Damn this black gold down there. Finance a whole new league with it. I hate this league so much.

But Coley, they're only called the Oilers because of the... I don't care. What better place to look than underneath the Oilers hook? How awesome? going to pay for a retired referee to sit next to me for seven hours on a Saturday to watch games. Like, I hope Andrew Ferrence does some good, man, but I just, uh, again, the fucking Pope was like, hey, you know what, everybody, we should be more inclusive.

And then two weeks later, they were like, let's go to the White House and hang out with the white supremacist president. I just don't believe anything this league tells me, man. I just don't. He, parents brought up the declaration, the declaration of principles in our conversation and saying, like, you know, they're not, we have to do better than just words in the paper. And like, man, I really wish the Pope didn't get involved in that shit. Because every time I think about the damn declaration of principles, I have to come back to the fact that fucking fat Lafontein stood up on a podium.

He was like, this is all great, but I've got some real big news. The Pope has endorsed these. I'm just like, what? The Pope. He read a letter from the Pope before the season started. Pontiff, I know that there are many problems in the world. Poverty is running rampant violence. people running away from the faith.

Children being murdered. Where should we begin? I want to talk about the National Hockey League's declaration of principles. That they just completely ignored immediately. That's what I mean. Like Andrew Farnance could like stand up in a conference room on the 15th floor of the NHL and be like, I believe that we should be inclusive with this and that and this and that. And everyone's going to be like, yes, absolutely. And they're going to be like, well, how are we going to kick off the NHL playoffs?

Well, David Duke is going to want to do a speech. before the first game. Wait, why are we, I thought we weren't going to do that stuff anymore. Oh, well, we're going to have to hire another former player with progressive beliefs, I guess. You know what you can't ignore, though?

The fact that I'd have to kind of go to the bathroom right now. Blue Apron. Blue Apron is the leading meal kits, delivery service in the U.S., while many people know what Blue Apron does. Many don't know the types of meals you eat when you cook with Blue Apron, like quick Bucatini with broccoli and pecorino cheese.

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Blue Apron delivers fresh, pre-portion ingredients and step-by-step recipes right to your door. That can be cooked in under 45 minutes. Or if you're me, Probably around 55 because I never timed things right. And I get very nervous about starting one thing while another thing is going on. How's your oven in your place? My oven, I always have to take off 25 degrees. My oven runs hotter than most of them.

Borderline Pierre McGuire. What do you mean? How's your oven? Talking about it, my oven was made in Moosh, Chaw, Manitoba in 1984. Bill, Bill, Phil. How's your oven? My oven doesn't run hot. My burners, because they're electric run hot.

I'm a gas heat guy. And we have electric burners, and I can never figure out the fuck to put it on. Like, 4.5 or 5, what's medium? Right. I can't figure it out. I'm with you. Life's hard. Blue Apron offers 12 new recipes each week, and customers can pick up two, three, or four recipes

based on what best fits your schedule. I love to cook Blue Apron. I love the fact that, again, as I've mentioned before on this very show, I don't have to run to the supermarket and buy a bunch of ingredients I'm never going to use. They give you everything you possibly need, right down to the salt packets. So you can make delicious food in the comfort of your own environment. Blue Apron is treating Puck Soup listeners to $30 off your first order if you visit Blue Apron.com slash puck soup.

So check out this week's menu and get your $30 off Blue Apron.com. That's blueapron.com slash puck soup. Do check it out. It is convenient and fun to cook during the week. And the food's delicious. Blue Apron, it's a better way to cook, Dave Lozo. Are you going to say Delish when you're so anti-Selly? What was the...

Oh, what the fuck was the word? Chell? Oh, I know. Chell needs to die. No, I know exactly what you're talking about. And Selly, I tried my best to kill it, but it hasn't died. But the thing that we're thinking about now... There's a new one, right?

Natty-Haddy. Natty-Hattie. Nattie Hattie. Somebody had a Natty. Was it Uber-Doh? Somebody had a... Somebody had it. Yeah.

A natural hat trick for those who aren't speaking gibberish. Nattie-Hattie. Nattie-Hattie. The chel I fucking hate. It's the worst. It's the worst. Like, the NBA fans, if they short-handed, call it the association. That's really cool.

That's also stupid, too. And MLB, it's like the show. That's really cool. We're going to go over being like... The association is what you call like your fucking, you know, the guy who comes to pick up your car when it breaks down on the side of the road. The association's stupid, too. He's up in the chel. We're going to watch some chel tonight.

We're going to play some chel. Oh, God. It makes me, it makes me hate those two fuckers that do those videos. Jane and Dan? No, no, no. The guys just dressing like the one guy's in the

Flames jersey and they're like, they're like Albertans and they do all the videos of the players they're like off the bench or on the bench or the fuck those guys

are like, I feel like they are like no, they're the hockey guys do the videos with the I feel like they're the purveyors of this baby talk. Dangl and Myrtle? Yes, Dangle and Myrtle

Weekends on the Fan 590 in Toronto. Dangle and Myrtle. Dangle and Myrtle. Speaking of radio, George Lark apologize this week for having gone on French language radio and saying that Taylor Hall was in rehab. There are so many levels of that story that piss me off. It's just, it's endless. Like, so, so, oh, the thing we didn't plan to talk about, but the Vegas Golden Knights Twitter guy got fired, right?

He didn't get fired. Well, okay. He was, I was told he was fired. Who are you told that by? I can't tell you that. But I was told. Tell me later. But I was told like two weeks.

ago. A while ago, I was, I was told that he is exploring his future endeavors as well. Yeah. Um, fired is a, is a strong word. I was told he was fired. But it was a parting of ways. Yeah, like, he was let go. Yeah, he was let go. But there you go. That's the, that's the, that's the term I think we can agree on. He was let go. But like, it's one of those things where I was told it two weeks ago. I knew it to be true. I didn't need to go on a podcast and like shout it to get like an extra couple of listens or retweets. Because, I mean, the guy who runs, first of all, I didn't like the Twitter. Yeah.

I don't think you should have been fired for it. Right. It's comedy. Like, I just didn't find this stuff funny. I don't think you should be fired for it. It's kind of weird that it happened right before the playoffs though, don't you think? Right. But, like, the point is, is just like, if someone tells me that, I don't need to repeat it

because it's just, it's a regular dude who works, you know, a job. You probably makes $60K a year. I'm not going to, like, breaking news, guy who runs social media account fired because Vegas, Vegas, that's like 80K because of taxes. But, like, let's say someone told me Taylor Hall was in rehab five years ago, three years ago, whenever it was. I could double, triple, quadruple, verify it, find it to be completely true, and you would never hear me say it because there's just certain things that aren't, there aren't, that's just

not newsworthy. But to get it from one person and then just go on radio and tell everybody this thing is bad on so many different levels. Endless levels. That I can't even begin to. And then like he apologizes on Twitter for it, which is good. He realizes his mistake. It's fine.

Yeah. And then there's people on Twitter who are replying to him and you're just like, you what, this makes me like you more. Like, okay, I'm, I, I'm okay with you for giving him and like, we can all move on from it. It's fine. If Taylor Hall's, but like, oh, man, you're even better than I thought you were. You know what, journalist. What are we doing? Apologizing for your straight up libel has made me really respect you. I know. Like, what is that? And it's just like, like, like, and you know why he did it. He did it to reinforce the narrative that Taylor Hall was a problem in Edmonton. And it's just so goddamn petty. And he got it completely wrong. And he just

I apologize. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I put it out there that you were in rehab and reinforce a stereotype of what people think of you. And now there are people in Edmonton who will never see my tweet, but will remember when the story came out that you were in rehab. But imagine, like, if you're a player who actually was in rehab or wants to go to rehab and then you, it's supposed to be secret. Yeah, that's the real problem with it. And now, like, some agent somewhere who knows about it might tell some fucking ex-hockey player who has a radio show that he's going to go and repeat it. Like, it's so fucking bad on just.

Yeah, yeah, I see, that's a quality side. You're out on Big George. I always kind of like Big George. Me too. You know? There's a major screw up, though. That's just so bad. It's just so.

It's just so. But again, I could. Like, what would happen to you at ESPN if you did that? If you'd refer to that story. I would not be at ESPN. I would start every show. I'd be, I'm Greg Wyshinsky, and I played Splatoon this morning before coming here. I like how Splatoon is now becoming our new dark night that you're going to mention every week.

I was playing Splatoon. We picked up Mario Kart because my daughter is here for spring break and she's a spring break. Big on Mario Kart and, you know, like when you're stuck in an apartment with the kid all day because there's no school, got to play some Mario Kart. But on the new Mario Kart for the Switch, they have a bunch of new characters for it, which is kind of fun. And I got yelled at by my seven-year-old because I kept on picking Green Shy Guy as my character. You know, shy guy from... Yoshi? No, no, no, from Mario.

Like, the little guys that look like Jawa's, but they have, like, masks on the front of them. So I kept on picking the green shy guy, and I kept on doing really, really well. And she's just like, Daddy, you can't keep picking the same character over and over again. That's not why you play Mario Kart. Like, all right.

Were you just like, that's why I bought it. I will play it the way I want. So I picked, like, Waluigi or somebody, like one of your favorites. More Mario's hilarious, because... You know. I don't know why. And then I came in 10th.

And I was fucking seething. Sure. I was seething at this little, this little sabotager, this little saboteur who knew that I was at my strongest using green shy guy and then fell apart using Wal Luigi. Did she use green shy guy after you bail on green shed? No, that would have been diabolical. Yeah, I was going to say. What happened? You're looking at your screen.

Did you just do something? No, I might have told her to shut up when she said, when she chastised me from. going back to to Green Shogai she's like, Daddy, I said, shut up.

I think she got upset. Listen, if you want to beat the best, you got to beat the best, and I'm the best. All right. Speaking of being the best, March Madness is still upon us.

Obviously, we're all hoping the best for Sister Jean and loyal of Chicago this weekend. Although you might not be here. Are you out on Sister Jean? I'm fine with Sister Jean. An old lady wearing a backwards hat

in a wheelchair, cheering for a basketball team. More power to her. What could you hate for it? I just, I mean, there is a part of me that wants them to lose in the, in the next round, just so, you know, someone brings up the Jesus may be fumble conundrum of how a team can be powered by the Lord and then fall short of their goal. It always then becomes, this was a lesson that we all have to learn versus God likes someone better. Uh-huh. Yeah. God loves Michigan's card play too much.

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Michigan lose. God, God put hail to the victors in the mind of a composer many years ago, and it's clearly that he is proud of one of his greatest creations. March Madness continues, so that's why we are going to participate right now in the birth, movies, death, presents the Great Franchise Wars bracket. We'll tweet this out so you can follow along. Basically, it's all the franchises and movies, and we're going to decide the ultimate franchise in movie history.

Let's start with this bracket. Okay. Marvel Cinematic Universe and Jaws. That's your 1-8. MCU. That's an MCU, easy win. Jaws is better than any movie in the MCU, but the sequels, uh, Yeah, it's a problem.

Fast and the Furious at a three seed against the Halloween movies is six. A pretty easy one there too, I think. See, I was going to say Fast and the Furious. Yeah, of course. That's why it's easy. Oh, okay. Oh, I didn't realize they seeded it upside down. Yeah. Now it gets a little tougher.

Well, you have to remember, this is a bracket made by nerds. This is a bracket made by nerds. One eight shouldn't play the three-six winner. They should play the four or five winner. What the hell is this bracket? Here we go. And the seven's on top of the two. The two goes on top of the seven.

Who designed this? Nerds did. They don't know how brackets work. Idiot nerds. Good luck nerds. What are we calling a nerd bracket idiot? Alien versus Star Trek. Now, Star Trek is interesting because you're dealing with the Shatner films.

It's all included, right? And the next generation films and the JJ Abrams reboot. Alien interesting because you're dealing with the four Ripley films and then eventually a movie where Michael Fastbender fights himself. I haven't seen that all the way through. Every time I put it on, the shit blows up and the Steve Prefontein knockoff guy, which is named Billy Crudeup. Yeah, really crud. Like, wants to run back in. I get to that point, I'm just like, nope.

It's tough for me to watch that movie because Danny McBride's not making jokes the whole time. I really would think that, like, Danny McBride in an alien movie making jokes is something I wanted to see. But instead, no, let's watch Michael Fassbender flirt with himself. But I thought Danny McBride's, like, crying the whole time. His wife's down there. His wife, his wife got, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go, I'm going to Star Trek.

I'll go, um. I'll put Star Trek through. It's close. because the alien first two aliens are great I think you have to go trek here too

because I think that if you're going to be honest with yourself you have to rope in those shit fucking tastic alien

versus predator movies and to the alien obeer as well I'll go trek yeah I gotta go track Harry Potter versus Friday the 13th

Harry Potter quite easily there yeah all right let's stay out with the side of the bracket MCU versus Fast and Furious

oh we're pushing through yeah pushing through oh MCU MCUs Star Trek versus Harry Potter See, I've never really seen Harry Potter all the way through. I don't only have a strong...

Like, I understand that people seem to... Twitter's ruined the movies. Twitter ruins shit. And I haven't even... I don't even enjoy Harry Potter, but every time, like, a politics thing happen, it's like, this is exactly like the goblet of the doom or whatever. I don't know.

I think I go Trek here only because... I'll let you pick this one for us. I feel like Harry Potter is so... I think it's... Like, Trek can be real preachy and self-s. serious, but also they had that one where they go to Los Angeles and try to save whales. A, it was San Francisco.

Oh, sorry, you're right. I'm so, all God. B, it was, was it, was it two whales? Or was it one? Oh, it was two. Yeah, it was George and Gracie. Hello, computer. Like, that Star Trek movie is better than anything in the friggin' Harrah Potter. I'm going to go track. I'm going to get so much shit for that. I'll go track.

And then MCU beats track, because obviously. All right. Other side of the bracket, Star Wars versus the DC cinematic universe. Boy. How did the DC Cinematic Universe even get into this? There has to be a better... Is Mission Impossible?

Yeah, there it is I was going to say. Yeah, there has to be some other franchise. The Rush Hour franchise. The Rush Hour universe, cinematic universe. Seriously, like Rush Hour movie. The three Rush Hour movies are better than any of the DC Universe movies.

We can have Bernie's one and two is better. The cocoon cinematic universe. Star Wars advances over DCU. It's a blowout. Mission of Vosville versus the Chucky universe. Mission Impossible. I was thinking about this. There was a time when if you were doing a franchise,

if you fucked up the second one, you fucked them, you're fucked forever. But like Fast and the Furious and Mission Impossible somehow overcame terrible second movies to just become dominant billion dollar global forces. In the case of Mission Impossible, the one thing I always liked about it,

although they're not no longer doing it, was they handed each movie to a new director. But the same guy who did the last one is doing the new one. one too with Henry Cavill's mustache. Oh, was he in Henry, Henry Cabell? Yeah, that's why he had the mustache. That's why he had the whole Superman

mustache thing was because he grew it for Mission Impossible. I forgot. That's what it was. Wait, is he the villain in this? Yeah. Ooh. So Mission Impossible obviously advances past Chuckie. Absolutely. Jesus Christ. Like, you have a problem with the DCU being in it. Fucking Chuckie movies? Come on. But those were at least like original and

stupid. Sure. Yeah, that's a good point. Rocky versus Indiana Jones. You could have, by the way, you could have easily had the Adam Sandler cinematic universe in this how about this the trading places

cinematic universe because the trading places also appears in coming to America that's right those two that's a cinematic universe the Eddie Murphy cinematic universe yeah yeah that's better than Chuckie

Indiana Jones versus Rocky so here's the problem Rocky 5 exists and Crystal Skull exists which one was Drago 4 4 okay so one through 4

are solid and then but here's the Here's the, okay. The first Rocky and Raiders, Stone Cold Classics, Rocky 4, Last Crusade, movies of the people. Rocky 2, or maybe, no, Rocky 3.

Clover Lang, at least good as Temple of Doom. But here's the problem. Here's the issue. Rocky 3 is not great. Here's the issue. Give it to me. Creed is part of the Rocky cinematic universe.

And Creed. I haven't seen Creed. potentially could push this over the top. I watched Michael B. Jordan get knocked out by accident like 50 times, though, once in Twitter. Yeah. I didn't think it was real the first 10 times I watched it.

I'm going to put over Rocky here, only because I think Crystal Skull was really bad. So you have the shitty Rocky 5 with touchdown Tommy or whatever guys like that was. Tommy Gunn. Then you have all the ones where Rockies old after that and fights. Like he fights the heavy... Oh, Rocky Belbow was also good.

Oh, Rocky Balboa wasn't good. I think Rocky gets the rub here. What do you think? It's tough because you have three great movies, one objectively bad movie. Right. Rocky, you have Good Rocky 1, Good Rocky 2, and Rocky 3. Good Rocky 4. Raiders is one of my favorite movies, but I think you could say that you could cross out Rocky in that for being seminal classics.

Here's what I'll do. I'll put Indiana Jones through knowing that it's going to lose in the second round because it's just that there's no hope for it in the next round. I disagree, but the next round is the Elm Street movies for James Bond. Bond. Yeah, of course. So Bond goes over either Rocky or Indiana Jones. Yeah. There's too much good around.

Like, what's the worst James Bond? Timothy Dalton? Those are still enjoyable. The worst James Bond movie is probably Moonraker. They go with the fucking space shuttle. But that gave us a plot point in Austin Powers, though. And it also gave us a joke in Jane Silent Bob Strike Back, where Ben Affleck was a moonraper, I believe. it was. I don't remember that.

Yeah. Moon Raper. All right. Well, Bond, you're right. Yeah, Bond. So Star Wars are Mission Impossible? Star Wars. Well, all right.

Let's talk about this for a second. Yeah, now we've got to put the brakes on here. Okay. We can't just... Because using the Indiana Jones theory, like, the first three Star Wars, unimpeachable classics. And then you have the next three. The prequels are bad.

They're all bad. Does that even it out? Because if it does, then Last Jedi and Force Awakens are really, really good. And Rogue One's good for 25 minutes. Force Awakens isn't that good. Rogue one's not good. Last Jedi is great. Haven't seen The Last Jedi.

Oh. And then you have... There's not a bad... Like, even... Mission Impossible 2 was bad because it was long. Yeah, and there's, again... And there's a lot of doves. John Wu's got a weird dove fetish.

John Wooo loves doves the way what's... Jason Segal loves puppets. It's uncomfortable for me how much... Like JJ Abrams loves lens flare. Yeah, like, what do you... I don't know. So there's a lot of doves and it's long. I think dollars to donuts, my friend.

God, those fucking prequels. I think if, because of the prequels, I'm going Mission Impossible. I'll go Mission Impossible as well. I think, I think this is blasphemy and it hurts me on a very basic childhood level. But the prequels cancel out the original trilogy. The prequels are insanely bad movies. They're really bad.

Like, pick the three worst Mission Impossible. At no point is there a scene where Tom Cruise and Ving Rames are walking in front of a fucking green screen with a goddamn Yota, Yoda CGI. Also, too, you have to consider. is the fact that when you watch the original Star Wars now, they always have this stupid George Lucas extra shit in it that warns in the originals. Like the Java fucking, the Java Palace dance party that happens for like five minutes on T&T now?

What are we doing? Why are we showing that version? What if behind Alec and Mark we put a giant lizard who is eating a giant fly and he's doing a jiggly dance? By the way, George, wouldn't that distract from the scene? No, it's perfect. It shows the bustling metropolis. That is most easily.

I want to put this out there to you because you're the Star Wars expert So you would know this. Does Jabba fuck? If so, who or what does he fuck? And how does he do it? Does Jabba fuck? Yes, because I believe his tail is his penis.

Now here's a question will throwback at you. That's gross. Based on the MCU. Does Vision have a penis? Hmm. I have an answer. Does Vision have a penis? If you remember when Vision was created in Age of Ultron,

he gave himself a cape to look more like Thor. I believe he can manifest a penis when necessary. And by when necessary, I mean when he needs to be with Scarlet Witch. But is it like a 3D penis or does it just have a penis? It's like a 3D printing. Is it always there? No, no. No, he creates it.

Oh, then he doesn't have one. Why? He just, oh, because, oh, you're saying it has to be there at all times. That's a penis. Okay, so he doesn't have a penis, but he can create one through 3D printing. Oh, yeah, he can create anything. He's vision. Like, that's that thing.

Like, he has legs. Yeah. He doesn't need to create legs because he has them. He doesn't have a penis, so he has to create it. My fucker has an infinity stone in his forehead. He can do whatever he wants. You know what they call him vision? Why is that?

Because his penis only has one eye. Oh my God. That's so good. Yeah, one eye. Mission Impossible versus Bond. Bond goes over because there wouldn't be a Mission Impossible without Bond. See, this is where you lose me on your movie takes because you feel like the backstory and the origination stuff is so much more. I don't know why I just became Joe Pesci.

Okay. Okay. Okay. If we go with the prequels. If we go with... Fuck you with the reboots and they fuck you with the sequels. So if we go with the same premise that eliminated Star Wars, which is that Mission Impossible's success rate is... Higher percentage.

We've had what now? Four or five movies? How many? Five. Six, right? This is the sixth one. So it's De Palma, Wu. One, two.

Abrams. four was Brad Bird You're throwing out directors I don't know which movies The fourth one was the Kremlin And then the fifth one was Was Rogue Nation The fourth one was Ghost Protocol

Fourth one was Gross Protocol Fifth one was Rogue Nation So we've had five And one of them was sort of bad Because it was too long And there were doves That was a second one yet Right

But the rest of them are fucking great So they're about an 800 Four for five day to plate I would say If you put it If you stacked up all the movies the bond batting average is lower than the mission impossible

well yeah I would have to do but they have more A-Bs so you have to kind of say yeah I mean you had like Rosden you had fucking die another day and um tomorrow never dies you know the Dalton movies or whatever I'll go bond

only because it created golden eye the video game while Mission Impossible but like your your points taken and I think your point is is that Bond has created more it created Mission Impossible But, like, I don't care about it spawning other movies that are like it.

It's also hard to judge to because, I mean, like, have you ever sat through, like, a 1968 Bond movie? I have. The only one I will sit through is Goldfinger, because it's fucking great. See, I don't even know which one that is. It's the one with the guy named Goldfinger. It's a guy who has a finger made a gold. No, he's, they robbed Fort Knox because he loves, he loves gold. He was the basis.

Again, without Bond, we wouldn't have Gold member or any of the Austin Powers. They robbed Fort Knox? franchise. So he's Die Hard with a vengeance that we're talking about it? Why isn't Die Hard on this list? Oh shit. A birth death movies or whatever you are.

Where is? Chuckie over Die Hard? Where, where's the M. Knight-Shaw-M-N-N-Shaw-Lan universe? Huh? We have three. Wait, we only have two. We have Unbreakable and Split.

And there's going to be now the other one. But I guess we only have two in that universe. Oh, right. Split is a secret backdoor, unbreakable sequel. Or prequel? sequel? Yeah, I agree with you on Die Hard. I don't know where the fuck Die Hard is in this.

Wait, hold on. All right, what if we took Die Hard and put it in Chucky's spot? All right. Then what are we doing? Then you still have mission impossible. Over Die Hard? Yeah. Better?

Dude, Die Hard did not stop at Die Hard 3. Yeah. You had one word fucking, he's hanging out with the kid from, with Hudson Long. He's got Ramona Flowers. And then there's one. Even Jai Courtney running around Russia? The Russia one's not good.

Yeah. But that's the same batting hour. It's four and a five. No, I'll take overlong in dubs over fucking Jai Courtney playing John McLean's son. Jai Courtney is bad at everything, isn't it? Why is Jai Courtney in movies? How did that happen?

In fairness, greatest Captain Moomerang and Suicide Squad. Oh, right, that's who he is in that movie. Right. But, like, was he in, like, a TV show I never watched, and then, like, he became a movie star based off of that? What's his origin story? What's that one? Divergent.

He was in that group of movies. Where's the Divergent Universe? Oh, he's one of the bad dudes, right? who tries to kill the good dudes. Right, from the video game bad dudes, right? That. Bad dudes, right at R. All right, so I still think Mission Impossible knocks out diehard in that instance.

All right, we'll just go with it. All right, Mission Impossible versus Bond. We say Bond, Bond versus MCU. We say, MCU. The greatest franchise in all of movie history. Not only for what they accomplished and building towards these big movies, but also because what has been the bad MCU movies. what are they they're not Iron Man too

Captain America God shit Colin whatever I cannot deal with Captain America I'm from Captain America Colin the Brooklyn soldier Captain America colon

My friend Bucky Captain America Colin World Police Need to save the Williamsburg Bridge Yeah But would you say MCOver Bond Or is Bond the ultimate franchise

I feel like it's just one of those things where everyone who's our age or younger will say MCU and everyone who's older than us will say bond. I would certainly say bond. There's like 65 bond movies. A bunch of shissy Mary is running around in Cape. Was Spector bad?

I heard Spector was bad. Spector was fucking terrible. Yeah. But it's got Christoph Waltz is the bad guy. How bad could it be? That bad, huh? That bad. Wow.

That bad. Because by this point, Christoph Waltz is now just playing Christoph Waltz and all these movies. Again, another part of horrible bosses, too. I just don't understand how that movie doesn't get, that movie couldn't have been better. Christoph Waltz So there you go.

As the bad guy. The MCU, the winner of the great franchise wars bracket, courtesy of break-dead movies, which obviously is the official magazine of the Alamo Cinema Draft House who hardly endorse it. Mailbag time, we asked you, the people, the people.

To tell us your hockey confessions. Confess your hockey sense. Confess. Do you confess? And this was a really good interesting one, to be honest with you. It was also kind of dark. The last couple of these that we've done and have gotten very dark. Confess your hockey sins.

Casey confesses that she doesn't know anything about the Eastern Conference. Together, we are the perfect hockey fan. She says to Sarah, maybe not who I believe said she didn't know anything about the Western Conference. Mr. Jones won says, oh, wait, no, that was about Kenny Holland. I don't care. Craig Winter says, I can't skate and basically live

basically live in Minnesota. That's a pretty good confession right there. Emily writes in, oh, here, this is in response to one else. Inadmit carbon god, writes, it took me an embarrassing length of time to realize

the duck's logo was also a webbed foot and not just a stupid looking D to which Emily says, same but the reverse with the flyer's logo. I assumed it was just some abstract emblem

of flying. until someone on the internet pointed out that it's the letter P. To me, that's the Milwaukee Brewers disease of not realizing it's an M and a B. Oh, it's a web foot. Look at that. That's like a little tiny web foot inside a bigger web foot. I didn't know that. Jeff Orlando writes in,

I still don't understand how escrow works in the NHL and why it's such a huge deal in CBA negotiations. Pretty sure if I figure out the first part, the second part takes care of itself. Our friend Nick Robb writes in, never caught a... puck in my bare hands to impress a lady like Christian Slater did. Was that in untamed art? Marissa Tomei. Yeah.

There's a, there's like a rose. He's like a homeless guy or something, right? I like Eric Braun. I started out in a Jersey Devils fan. They got a grill. And once that ended, I lost interest in hockey. Until I started regularly traveling to Pittsburgh in 2011 to visit friends and became a diehard Penn's fan. Man.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a good thing your friends weren't living in, like, Ottawa. James Palmer writes in I say I was at game six of the Eastern Conference final in 2012 to see Rico's biggest goal as in Adam Henrique but I was actually rooting with someone else in his basement the Euphoria Cloud of memory for about three years afterwards lying that you were at a game you were not at I think is a very

That's weird confessible sin I don't know why you would do that unless you're trying to get out of like jury duty or like you're in an alibi for like robbery or something. Scott McGuire writes in, I've been watching the sport for over 30 years and I still don't quite understand offside sometimes. It just seems stupid to me. Somebody else had that too in there.

I think it was Vicki Foley, said she doesn't understand offside. I also never noticed coaching decisions when it comes to in-game lineup changes and double shifts. Matt Riegler. I've worn the jersey of multiple New York Rangers rivals just to make it hotter, but never my own. That shit's sacred.

To make it hotter. To make it hotter. Like make his body hotter? Like you sweat at the gym? Like you put the extra garbage bag on you or something like that? Ben Brown writes in, I am a hockey and Rangers fan solely because of the first NHL hockey game by EA on the sake of Genesis. Well, like NHL 92?

I guess so. Is that what it was? Yeah, the team was good then. And this is one an interesting one. This is from Rangers Report 2.0. I hated almost all of ESPN's hockey coverage. Gary Thorne and Bill Clement sucked. Bouchagrass is pretentious and sucks.

Melrose is a joke. Panger is somehow worse than he was as a goaltender. The only good parts were Steve Levy and the late John Saunders. Wait, what's he confessing to? I don't understand the answer. He doesn't like ESPN hockey? That's good, man. These are all really good.

Follow the, oh, this is from Scotto. I guess I never paid attention and thought goaltenders handled their stick with their glove hand on top. I've been watching and playing hockey since I was a kid and had no idea until a couple of months ago. What do you mean on top? That's not how you do it. Finally, Aunt Chalupa. I'm a lightning fan that doesn't hate Brad Marchand.

I'm sure this is what will finally get me thrown over the other side of Trump's wall. My confession, let me think. It used to be that I never actually saw Mighty Ducks movie all the way through. But obviously, we remedied that through the Patreon. Yeah, I mean, like, I've said millions of times that I hate Slapshot and think it sucks. So that's not like a new confession. I've never seen a hockey game in Montreal. I've seen more hockey.

I've seen more baseball games in Montreal than I have hockey games. Never been to a game in Toronto. I think my confession would probably be I've never seen outside of the Memorial Cup, which I legit watched on TV. I don't think I've ever seen an entire junior hockey game. Neither have I. I don't really want to. I remember I remember being in Canada for the first time to cover a playoff series. And this was like back when Brett Farve was.

every year retiring. Oh, yeah. And I put on TSN Sports Center with the RE instead of the ER. And they were like, coming up on Sports Center, it was like baseball season's underway. Because there's April of the playoffs. Brett Favre looking around for a new job and the OHL playoffs are underway. And then it was like, do-do do-do. And it's like, I'm J.

And you're here to, I'm like, oh, what's going on at Farrv? And they went right to the OHL highlights, the Start Sports Center at like 1101. And I'm like, oh, my God, where am I? Is this a real place? Yeah, indeed. It was like 7-4 final. All right, well, let's pluck soon for this week. We want to thank no one for coming on.

This was obviously a little solo skate from me in Lozo, as it should be, many weeks. Yeah, let us know how you feel about guests. I go back and forth. Like, we're talking about, like, I love when we have a guest that we really want, but, like, you know, when it's some idiot, like Pete Blackburn, begging his way on. Lozo, I believe, is... I'm just kidding Pete.

I love you. You've angled for a long time to try to get rid of guests, I think. Not get rid of guests, but, like, not have to have one. Not have to have one. Like, you know, if we have... someone that we really want or someone who really wants to come on? That's great. And I really want. He's a good guest. I hate chasing

people who are just like, I love to come on and then like it rains. But John Hamm. John Hamm for sure. Margarabi for sure. That's what sourd you is the fact that we've had weather-related cancellations, I think, and we always show up here. Not weather-related. But like, we've had, you know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Like, I just... Coming up on the Patreon, the mailbag. Coming up on the Patreon next month, Lozo and I have decided on what the bonus episode is going to be, and it's a fucking great one. For all of you people, I don't want to go into it. I don't want to give away the cow. I'll give way the cow quite yet.

It's good. The cow. Don't have it, man. Oh, maybe we just gave way to a cow. Our thanks to everybody for listening. You can find me on Twitter at Wysinski. Thanks for everybody who bought my book, take your eye off the puck.

It's still available. I keep on getting checks for it, which is a really good thing. That's what I work. You get like every month, every three months? Every few months? Quarterly? I literally found one under a stack of papers recently.

I'm just like, oh, look. Why? I know. You and your, this is why you have your $35 burrito at Artisan Burrito. That's right, at Artisan Burrito. At Culinary Spectrum, I believe, was the name of the place that you. But they spelled burrito without the you to make it look trendy. Where can people find your genius, bud? I don't have any anywhere.

All right. That's great. We will talk to you next week. We'll probably have a guest. Bye. Do do do do. Support for today's show comes from Health IQ. Health IQ believes that the best way to improve the health of the world is to celebrate the health conscious through social and financial rewards.

So they use science and they use data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health conscious people like runners and cyclists and strength trainers and vegans and people that aren't me. If you want to see if you qualify, get your free quote today at health IQ.com slash soup. or mention the promo code Soup, S-O-U-P, when you talk to a Health IQ agent. That's health IQ.com slash soup to get your free quote to secure lower rates on life insurance if you are a health conscious person. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nonsense.

Um, both Two.