Puck Soup - Our Stanley Cup Predictions

Episode Date: April 10, 2018

Greg and Dave break down all the Stanley Cup Playoff first-round series and pick their winners, as well as reveal their picks for the Stanley Cup Final and the eventual champ. That plus T.J. Miller calls in a bomb threat, NBC puts playoff hockey on The Golf Channel, commentary on the breakdown days for the Islanders and Canadiens and Sabres and Hurricanes, your playoff predictions and a tribute to those affected by the tragedy involving the Humboldt Broncos junior team. Sponsored by Seat Geek and eHarmony!

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by HBO films presentation, Paterno, starring Al Pacino, Huah. And directed by Barry Levinson. Paterno centers on Penn State Joe Paterno in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal. After becoming the winningest coach in college football history, Paterno's legacy is challenged, and he is forced to face questions of institutional failure in regard to the victims. The film also stars Riley Keio as Sarah Gainham, the 23-year-old journalist who, reported on the Sandusky case for the Patriot News and Kathy Baker is Sue Paterno, Joe's wife. Check it out now on HBO and, you know, I caught it and I didn't realize that it was going to be such a journalism movie.

I have a real boner for journalism movies like Shattered Glass and all the president's men and the paper and the post, which I didn't see yet, and spotlight. and it's a movie about process and about journalism as much as it is about Al Pacino as Joe Paterno. I just wish Pacino would have done the paterno voice. He didn't try. He's basically just doing the Any Given Sunday. He's doing the Any Given Sunday Football Coach voice. He's fine in the movie, but you're right. You want him more like the kind of sucking on air?

No, Paterno has that high pitch. I don't know. Oh, it's like a squeaky voice. I thought it was more like a punctured lung, like a... I don't know what happened. I got a good. go run off the field and take a poop. Remember when he had to leave the field to poop?

Nobody was like, maybe he's too old for the job. You know, sometimes that happens to all of us. And whenever it happens to me, I say we are Penn State. Joe Paul ran up the score on Rutgers back in 95. Oh, he ran up the score on Rutgers. Game of Giant Stadium. He let Mike McQuarrie throw like a 50-yard touchdown pass with like a minute to go. F him.

Wasn't simply Rutgers being Rutgers at that point. No. There was them running up the score. No, sir. Yeah. We were, we were resoundly or sound. only beat anyway. Oh boy,

Michigan really ran up the score on Appalachian State in week one. First of all, Michigan lost Appalachian State. What kind of bit is that you're doing now? You don't know a college football

want to do a Rutgers bit. All right. Rutgers suck. Start the show. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute.

We also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tools. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nansen. I'm Dave Lozo. That's it. And I'm Greg Wysinski of ESPN.

And you're in Puck Soup. It's the playoffs, buddy. We're here for playoffs. That's why the show's coming out earlier than it usually does in the week. Got to get it out early, man. Got to get it out before the playoffs. Got to get all the hot picks. We should have just done another regular day.

And then just did a bunch of predictions. Like Colorado wins game won them. We're just like, you know what? I think the abs are going to jump out in that series. What a great bit. That would have been a good bit. It would have been amazing. Just like our predictions completely sync up perfectly with what's already happened.

Like we do the show at Thursday. On Thursday night at like two in the morning after the West Coast games are done. Like I'm seeing Nathan McKinnon score a goal at like 745 at the first period. And it's probably going to be like on a breakaway when Alexie Emmeline falls down. And he's going to go backhand forehand, backhand, backhand under the bar off the post, off René and in. And that's how I just see it happening. All right. Before we get to the hockey picks, and by the way, we will be talking about the humble Broncos after, at the end of the show, to properly pay them credit and not to create the single most awkward transition in the history of podcasting as we go from a tragedy of that nature to...

Yeah, there's no segue there. Dick joke, Babropski, blop bloop bloop blo. Yeah, you do the dick jokes first for like an hour and 42 minutes. Get that out of the way. And then you do the other stuff at the end. Yeah. Remember the last time we had to do with something heavy on the show with the death of Gord. Howe when I was on the road.

We finished the show that we had to do an entirely different segment. Well, didn't he die after we did the show? Yeah, he died after we did the show. We didn't just ignore it for an hour and a half and then be like, oh, maybe we should do this. Like, it happened in the gap. Yeah. The entire hockey world is mourning the death of where you know, and we're like, the top 10 NHM players whose name sound like DC Universe supporting characters.

What's the deal with Ken Holland and the Red Wings? Justin Ablator, more like Justin Abdel failure. Top 10 episodes of Friends to feature a minority character, you know. It just didn't, you're not going to know. It just didn't work out at all. Then it just goes, we have sad news to report.

We put aside this Joey Tribiani impression to alert you that Gordy Howe has passed away. Gordy Howe's Memorial will be next Tuesday. And if you need tickets to that memorial, no better way is Ziki. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we do really. good with the heavy stuff. So the heavy stuff will be at the end of the episode. Before we get

to the hockey, we should probably talk about something that happened today as before we did the show. T.J. Miller was arrested by the FBI for calling in a bomb threat against the person on a train that he didn't like. That he was so drunk that he couldn't get the name of the train right the first time. Let's put aside the drunkenness because obviously that's probably the root of the problem here. But have you ever been so mad at anybody you've traveled with? It doesn't make sense to do we did. Answer the question. Counselor. Wait. Witness? I'm a counselor. You're on. You're on. Who was drinking before the show? This whole court's out of order.

Have you ever, have you ever been so mad at somebody that you're seated next to that you think about the ways that you could get them off of a plane or a train by calling it a bomb threat? That makes no sense because if you call it a bomb threat on a train you're on. They're going to stop the train you're on. Yeah. You're not going to get to your destination any quicker because of that. Like, like, what do you think happened? Do you think like, because like for me, it's usually when just someone's loud.

Yeah. But like I feel like with T.J. Miller, like, he did like one of his zany bits from his stand-up special where he covered. himself in water to think he would impress her. Yeah, water! I'm covered in water! Look at me! And she was just like, that's not funny. And he was like, you're a stupid bitch and I'm calling the feds.

You're of course quoting T.J. Miller there. It's not the word that you'd normally use. I mean, quoting T.J. Miller. No, I mean, in that situation, yeah, but I mean, if she's on the phone in the quiet car, all bets are off. Oh, but, yeah, listen, I was on the quiet car the other day and the conductors just didn't give a shit. It was at night.

I think quiet car rules are only in effect during business hours. It was at night, I was in the quiet car. And there was literally like a, a YouTube karaoke special being filmed behind me. But listen. No, you have to get that shit nip in the bud, whether it's 9 o'clock or 4 o'clock. You've clearly thought about it or else you wouldn't, you wouldn't have noodleed through the whole bomb implications.

Like, what if I called in a bomb threat? They'd stop the plane. That's not even implications. Like, that's the first thing you think. Like, say if like, let's say you were on the train. And I was like, man, this Greg Wushinsky guys constantly doing interviews with like, Milan Lucci, while I'm trying to do work or something like that. Say like, that's a situation.

Like, calling it a bomb threat in the train I'm on does not help my situation at all. Unless I'm getting off the train at like a stop before yours. Otherwise, like, I'm just screwing myself by doing that. There was a woman who put her seat all the way back on me while I was on. Oh, she should go to prison. And, uh, but she did, she did at the moment we left the station. And it wasn't even as, I, I've decided that I, I am all for that happening. And I know that this is a constant debate.

We talked about it on the show before. If you're going to sleep, if you're going to spend the next two and a half hours looking at dresses online, you don't need to put the seat all the way back. You don't ever need to do it on Amtrak. The Amtrak seats are so spacious and big anyway that you don't really need to ever do that. Right. The worst is when it's like a little kid who does it, who doesn't need the fucking leg space or anything. Like a little kid can just like crumble up into a ball inside a chair. And Amtrak seats big enough where you can curl up.

Yes. I agree with that. Yes. Those seats never need to go back. Plains, it's kind of a necessity because you don't have a lot of room to begin with. Yeah, but like the seats don't go back far enough for it to ever be a thing that's good for you. Right. All it does is inconvenience the person behind you.

Like that seven inch angle isn't giving you any more. So I didn't call it a bomb thread. I just angled my knees into the back of the chair in the hopes that it would discomfort her, but it doesn't because there's a giant plastic shield between my knees and her. Right. So even my subtle jostling of her chair, I don't think mattered. Also, she was really into those dresses, so I don't think it was going to matter anyway. And she had headphones on too, right?

So they're probably like, she had to listen to the dresses to see what they looked like. Yeah, like she's, she's listening to the show for the movie 27 dresses while looking at the dresses. Yeah, you have to play mental games. You have to play mental warfare. You can't just call the feds. No. That's insane. Like, what an insane unhinged fucking garbage human being he might. Like, seriously.

Like, she clearly did not recognize him or pay him the respect that he thought he deserved. And his immediate response was a call in a bomb threat. You, ma'am, must learn the problem with your ways and your approach to people. No, here's what she was doing. Here's what she was doing. She was sitting next to a friend. And she was like, boy, the new season of Silicon Valley is great. Right.

And he overheard her and he lost his shit. And that's how it happened. Yeah, the FBI, all the reports in the media didn't properly report that that was actually Thomas Middleich's sister on the train. Boy, like, fucking how just unfucking... Oh, man. I know, but this is what happens when you're in the emoji movie. Just drives you insane. When you have to go around and saying, I'm proud to have been in the emoji movie.

Which character was his? The poop one probably, right? No, the poop was Patrick Stewart. For real. That was the gimmick was the poop was Patrick Stort. Number two, engage. Can't wait to see Deadpool too. Yeah.

Excited to have T.J. Miller Back in our lives. Just talking about a movie. He's in Ready Player 1, but you never see him. You only see his avatar, which was... Oh, somebody in the desolate world. He uses T.J. Miller. Yeah, is T.J. Miller, but in the Oasis, he's like the Boba Fede of the movie, basically.

Wait, so is T.J. Miller real or is he the Avatar? Jesus, God Almighty. You just say he's the Boba Fed in the movie. When Ready Player 1, there's a place called The Oasis where they all go. It's a virtual reality world, and he's there. but also in the real world, but you never see him in the real world. You only see his voice coming out of this avatar in the oasis. Oh, I get it.

Boy, that's fucking annoying. Why would they do that? That's like the worst of all worlds. There it is. All right. Ready players suck. Here we go. Stanley Cup playoffs are here.

Let's start in the Eastern Conference, the conference that we actually care about. I'll say this because I've said it in 17 radio interviews already today. you could make a plausible case that every top seed's going to lose. Like, it could conceivably happen that every top seed is going to lose. You're making the face. You did the put my head back face. What? The crinkle neck face.

What in the world makes you think the devils are taking four out of seven from Tampa besides the fact that you're wearing an actual devil's... I'm not wearing any devils anything. Parker and underwear right now. You don't think that there's a chance they could be Tampa? There is no shot in hell they're taking four out of seven out of Tampa. Despite the fact that Tampa Tampa's played like dog shit

in the last month and a half and the devils have played playoff hockey for the last month and a half I don't care if that, yeah, playoff hockey against the Rangers, the islanders

Montreal, that's playoff hockey. The reason they beat the lightning during that stretch too. There were three and O against the lightning this season,

three and oh. Not during that stretch. Yeah, they beat him during that stretch. Yeah, they beat him three times during that stretch, no. The reason why the devils

aren't going to win the series is the reason why Taylor Hall should be the MVP is because there's nothing behind Taylor Hall. like all you got to do is neutralize Taylor Hall and you're good and you're fine I looked behind Taylor Hall you know what I saw Miles and Miles of Wood that's what I saw

Who was the guy they just signed out of college you has a name like something's like Oh Cam Johnson Cam Johnson like every dude they have is like a porn name Every third guy is like a dude who could be ill butcher I didn't think about that one Camp Johnson Miles Wood junk junk Maloney Stefan Nosen Can we like guys from Texas

Never would have guessed that I'm like, wow, this guy's a pretty good fine in Finland. I wonder who's scouted him for the devils. Oh, he's from Texas. Jesper Brat would be a porn star probably, maybe. Brat. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah, he'd be like a German porn guy.

Jesper Brat. Jesper Brat. You want my brat? You think there's a lot of pressure in the German porn industry to name yourself after different meat products? Yeah, like Brat is probably like Peter here. What's your name, sir? Johann Schnitzel.

My name is... That is already four Johann Schnitzels. My name is Kill. Kilbasa. Smother me in mustard. You dirty, dirty girl. Is that a German accent? That's not even a German accent I'm doing.

Yeah, it's, it just said to be German and German adjacent at this point. He'll me now and go down on me later. I am Arnold Schwarzenhager. Schwarzenhager. Did you learn how to do you? a German accent by listening to Wolf Castle on the Simpsons? Is that how you learned through that stereotype? Who's Wolf Castle? He's, uh, remember he was the

Schwarzenegger. Oh, he's like the, the, the, the, the, that's the joke. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. There seems to be a lot of learning stereotypes from the Simpsons going around this week. Yeah, I'm so confused by all that. I really am. Like, I, I, I just, I don't understand why. You don't understand the problem with a poo? I don't understand. Because like, I, I, I, I don't understand. Because, like, I, I, I just, I just, I just, I don't understand. I, I don't understand. I, All the complaints about him, I don't translate over into it. Like, the guy who did the documentary said that he was bullied a lot growing up because of Apu.

But, like, wasn't he bullied because there were just bullies who were assholes who would have bullied him for some other reason anyway? I know what you're saying. I think... Like, I don't know. Our girlfriend, Arpin Basu, who should be on the show at some point when we get a chance to have him on because he's the best. Never heard of him. He's with NHL.com. You always have to figure out now which ones are with NHL.com and which ones are with the athletic.

Is he at the athletic too? Jesus Christ, you're right. He is. He's in the Montreal one. So he's at the athletic now too. You're the only person who gets to write the why I'm not at the athletic column. Yeah, I'm it. Yeah.

There's going to be another big name coming to the athletic I heard pretty soon. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Seems likely. Yeah, but Arpin's explanation of it made sense to me. Yeah, Arpin said what about the Apu thing. And for those who don't know, there was a documentary called The Problem with Apu. it was about the problem with a poo, about it being a problematic racist characterature in the lens of 2018 in a way that it wasn't when the Simpsons started back in 1975.

And so the Simpsons then have kind of not responded to this much at all outside of a couple of jabs and saying that, you know, the Tank Azaria who does the voice won an Emmy award for it and his area didn't participate in the documentary. Every Simpson's response to it's been stupid. Yeah. And on Sunday night, they responded to it by having Lisa Simpson, which it was a real kick in the balls for everybody who's been, you know, waiting for them to comment on this because she's usually the paragon of politically correct virtue on the show, saying that, you know, something along the lines of like, you know, what was acceptable 20 years ago was no longer acceptable today because of PC standards. And, you know, maybe we'll never address this problem at all. and there was a framed photo of a poo on her nightstand sign, don't have a cow, a poo, which of course is hilarious. But the whole thing doesn't make sense.

That explanation actually makes them look worse because that's like them admitting it's bad, but saying I don't give a shit. Pretty much. As opposed to being like, it's not bad because of X-wise. The other interpretation I saw was that the idea that that was them saying they're not going to do the character anymore, which I think is probably not the right interpretation because I imagine them being kind of prickish and defined about it, which is the way they've been about it. And like, I literally haven't watched a Simpsons in 15 years, but like I don't,

know the character all that is like is the character dumb or no that's what I mean is like I don't get about Arpins because they go back to what Arpin from the athletic he just runs the quickie marty and he's what he said what was was interesting which is that he said I've always seen a poo as the hero figure

in a way the hardworking immigrant running his own business juxtaposed against the lazy dumb homer but if you're laughing at him and not with him then you're missing the point and then he probably missed the point exactly that's what I mean like if you're a dumb bully yeah who thinks that's a reason they make fun of somebody it's the bullies fault, not the show's fault.

The show is not setting out to create ridicule about this character. The character is without question. If you were going to do a power ranking of the most competent, successful characters on The Simpsons who aren't just slobbish, awful fucking people,

Apu is probably in the top three of those types. I mean, I would say, I would, I would wager to say that Apu probably comes off better than Catholicism. Right. In the history of the Simpsons or, you know, low-income white people in this history of the Simpsons. Like, every character is a stereotype on that show.

Isn't it basically? Like, you have the white trash guys, the priest, Ned Flanders, they're all. You mean in the sense that the police chief literally has a pig nose? Yes. Right. And like the, the mafia guys are all like Italian guys. Fat Tony. Yeah.

Like, I don't know. No, but I, listen, when it comes to comedy and seeing it through the lens of current times, it's always going to be tough. Like, I obviously grew up a little bit, a few. years ago, I grew up with something like Blazing Saddles, which literally could not be made today by a white Jewish filmmaker. It just couldn't. We talked about that

when I think Get Out came out, like the idea of who's behind the lens matters today. And I think the fact that Hank Azaria does the voice of a poo in 2018 is kind of a problem, right? I think that's probably the overarching thing that is what is driving everything. But weaponizing humor for someone's horrible

bullying purposes, I think, should not be the responsibility of the creator of the humor. Right. You know what I mean? Right. Like, like, our and said, like, if that's the thing you're taking from it, you're doing it wrong. If you're getting, if you're, if you're getting thank you come again and Quikimart and doing that voice as that your takeaway from, from a poo and not here's a successful immigrant businessman. Who hates Homer because Homer's so dumb. Yeah, who's made something from himself.

And meanwhile, here's the, here's the lead character of the show, taking a shit in aisle three. You're the pork cracklings. Like, if you don't, if you don't get that juxtaping. the position. I don't know what to tell you. It doesn't excuse their kind of stance on it now. And I think there are ways to probably- But like, no one on the show makes fun of a poo for who he is, right? Like, that's not a thing that happens on the show. No. No. Oh, well, you run a quick, you mark. Yeah. I don't think. Right. There's been like a towelhead reference. That's what I'm saying. Like, so it's like, I don't know. I just, sometimes I just think, like, I get where that guy's

coming from where he had to grow up with that and there weren't really any, you know, Indian people on TV. Yeah. But, like, I don't know how you can blame Matt Greaning. whatever his name is. For like three idiots you went to school with being assholes. The worst reaction you can have to that though is that like when someone says that about their background and about they, you know, a character becoming the go-to stereotype for their ethnicity. The worst thing, the worst reaction is always like what Salava Malamud, who has a, had a great week, by the way, saying that the KHL playoffs were fixed and then loaned to the team. He said the team he said they were fixed for didn't win. Came out and said, oh, you know, you think that dude, Abu is bad.

What about stereotypes of Russians as I do? stereotypical Russian accent. It's more like a Dracula. The worst reaction you could ever have to any of this is saying, but what about my kind? What if, like, Vermiga being like, a poo, yeah? Let me tell you about all these Polish jokes I've been told, I'm not even Polish. Mike Milbury hates those. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. There's no good Ukrainian jokes. Outside of maybe something about Sergey Bubka getting a Paul vault up his ass at some point. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not a big Simpsons guy, so it's kind of hard to weigh in on the ins and outs of every single nuance of a poo but I mean that guy has an issue with it and he has an issue with it you should be able to raise it and point it out that's the thing is like like that guy the issues that guy's raising the guy did the documentary like I have no problem doing it like the but

the Simpson's response to it is like extremely like condescending and prickish in a way that doesn't need to be yeah it's a real Greg Wischinsky circa 2012 reaction yeah someone questioning your humor right where it's just like like I understand there's what they're saying about how like something 50 years ago or 20 years ago might seem bad now and it wasn't then, but like maybe you can just go one step further and be like, yeah, maybe we should look at that as opposed to like the weird condescending response

from Lisa Simpson. And like I'm if you want to say it was problematic now, that's fine. Where I don't like where this goes sometimes is like let's eliminate this from, like let's never show this again in pop culture and say that it doesn't exist. Like, that's

kind of a thing for me. Like it was fine for its day and now it's not. That's okay. It's an okay thing to happen. That doesn't mean that you should put a lawn jockey on your lawn necessarily, but it does mean that somebody else's art that was okay for the time can still exist. You can still show things that are not as, you know, that are a bit problematic now. Wow. So you want to keep up all the Civil War statues, huh, Greg?

Well, I mean, the Confederate flag, from a color scheme perspective. So seriously. I would love to see that, by the way, if they show the Dukes of Hazard now. It's like watching an old WWF match where they have to blur out the WDF logo in the corner because they lost that lawsuit to the World Wildlife Fund. Is that a thing we have to do? Like if you watch, if you watch like the, I have old DVDs of WrestleMania as of years gone by, but the box set came out after that ruling.

So like every match is just these giant blurred pillars in the corners on the turnbuckles where the logos were. So if they could do that for Dukes of Habs is where it's like, all right, let's get them. The General Lee and they slide over these giant blurs on the side in the top of the car. Instead of like blurs, they just have like a painting of like the Mona Lisa or something on the top of the car. like just like a vase of flowers. Oh, it's such a nice looking car. I think the devils could beat the lightning,

but I don't think it's going to happen. That's why I picked the lightning in six. Tampa and five. You're going to go five, huh? Can you justify for me why you think the lightning who have struggled for the better part of a month and a half? And Vaseleski, who's been bad,

and Stamcoos, who, you know, because it's the playoffs, he's hurt. Why you think all of a sudden they can turn it on like this? Do you think the devils have just like emptied the tank to the point where they're going to lose in five? I just don't think they're anywhere near as good as Tampa. Like this run they went on where they went 7-1-1 down there, not including the Caps game. The Caps game didn't matter.

But I mean, you know, they beat, like we talked about. Remember how you were like, wow, I can't believe they beat Carolina, the team they should lose to. Right. They played a lot of bad teams down the stretch that compile their points. If Stamcoast doesn't play, maybe it goes six. I like the lightning. I mean, I didn't realize how deep they were this year as far as scoring. Like, Braden Point and all those guys.

Where would Sammy Vattenen play on the blue line if he was on the, on the lightning? He'd be their number four. He'd be their number four because of Girardi. You'd have to bump Girardi out, right. That's what I'm saying is like, like, Girardi will be a problem at some point in the playoffs, but it's not going to be a problem when he has to skate with Travis Zajack. They've been playing headman with Gerardi lately, which I think is the right decision. Oh, it makes no sense.

I don't understand how. Because then he's not dragging down anybody who's not as good as headman. Like, headman can just be okay on his own. Like, Hedman could be like Braun-Strauman to bring it back to the WVE and just like play by himself and not need a partner. Oh, I don't know, man.

Like, at some point, like, if you have him with McDonner or Hedman, like that's going to be an issue at some point. May that be to the cup final? I don't know. It's going to be an issue. How dare you forget the magic that Girardi and McDonough created several years ago?

Yeah. But not anytime recently. Even McDonough hasn't been that great since he got there. Yeah, I mean, like, they're vulnerable, but I just don't see how the devils are going to be able to compete over seven games. when they can just roll all those guys out against them. Yeah.

Yeah, Vasselowski craps his pants and Keith Kincaid's awesome. By the way, everyone with Keith Kincaid always points out the butcher from Brady Bunch. Yeah. I always go to like, it sounds like Kincaid sounds like a benefit show for people that need money for like kinky sex. Kinkade. Sam, the butcher's last name was Sam Kincaid? I'm pretty sure, yeah. I always see, I feel like Tracy Myers always makes the Brady Bunch reference and then like other people make some other reference to like a newer version of Kincade.

Tracy Myers digs up. some really old-ass comparisons and references. It's impressive. Like, she goes back to, like, the 70s. We go back to, like, the 80s. And then, like, eventually one day we'll all be old and dead, and none of our references will matter anymore. Right.

She used to come on the show with Me, and Merrick and make, like, wrestling references. What show is that? She was a wrestling fan. Don't remember that show. Yeah. Remember that other one? Doesn't ring a bell.

Remember? Jeff Merrick does the show with that really popular guy now. Who? Demetri? Steve Dangle. All right. So I say lightning in six, you say lightning in five. This is funny because on the other podcast, like, Sean didn't want to pick Toronto in the Boston series.

He's just like, I think it's going to be close. And he was like, like, you're both kind of doing like the reverse jinx type of thing where you don't want to pick your team even though I know in your hearts. I'm going to be straight with you and be straight with the puck soup listeners. I genuinely believe the doubles are going to win the series. I really do. I just don't have the balls or the humility. Like, we put out our picks on ESPN.com today. ESPN.

And the entire column is lightning logos. How's it going to look? If the one, you know, unabashed devil's fan... You're both cowards. puts the fucking devil's logo there. They're going to be like, look at this guy. He's voting for Taylor Hall. He's putting the devil's logo up.

You have nothing to lose if you do that, because everyone knows you want the devil to win. No, Dave. I have everything to lose. Boy, you could have been the one guy. Because think about it, because let's say the devils win that series, right? You know what Sarah and Amanda are going to do? They're going to screenshot that thing, put it out and be like, Like, thanks Greg Wischinski, and you'd be the only one that had it right?

Yeah. I know, but I can't. Now I want the Devils to win. Well, I genuinely believe they're going to win the series, but I picked the Lightning in six. You'll find out why later. All right, all right. Maple Leafs in Boston. I'm not a coward like Sean McInck and Doe.

Micndoe do our co-author on the 100 greatest players of all time and our stuff. Available on. I'm picking the Leafs. I think I picked them in six because I think seven would be a joke for them to have one in seven. Well, I just realized that I did all my picks this morning with Sean. on. So like, I need to have Biscuits Dave picks and Puck Soup Dave picks. Oh, by all means. There needs to be a reason to tune in and listen to this part. There needs to be two different daddies. So in, in order to keep it balanced, I love the Bruins in this series.

I just think they're too experienced. Your Biscuits pick was the, was the, was the Leaves and seven. But, you know what? Why now, well, hold on. Why do you like the Leafs in that series? I just, I just, I just, I, I, I'm just not a, but. I'm just not a, but. lever in Boston. Like, I just feel like, I feel like Zadano Chara is going to have some bad matchups with the speed of Toronto in the series. I'm not someone who thinks Tukur-ask stinks. I'm not a complete madman. Right. Looking for content. I don't know. I just, it feels, it feels a bike Babcock versus Bruce Cassidy. I don't know. I just, Toronto's not as experienced or not, you know, they don't have the 200-foot guys that drive the blah, blah, blah. I just, I just have a feeling

this is going to be Toronto's next step on the way. Freddie Anderson almost won a series. last year by himself. They were close to beating the caps. The caps last year were better in the ruins this year, I think. They're going to give up a fuck ton of shots, as is their want, until they get the other two defensemen they need to win a cup.

That's it. But you look at that forward group that they have, and you compare it to Boston's. Right, you throw Bozac out on the third. That's the thing about the devils, I keep saying, is, like, there are a couple pieces away where, like, if Travis Ajak is, like,

playing behind, like, Nico Heeshier and, like, one other really good center, you got something. But if, like, he's playing the second most minutes of any because he's he's he's quite immobile i actually think that but i actually think that he could play well against the lightning's top line i just think the lightning have other lines that can do damage yeah like he's proven in the past that he can like shut down some lines but he's not really good enough to be the other guy to the other way but that's why i'm picking boston they're just they're

just too good i like i like i like i like the leaves in this series um because i think Anderson's going to be good um i think offensively the lines they can roll are all real good and I think at least in this series, the Roman Polack black hole that is their defense occasionally is going to be all right. Yeah, yeah. That's what I think, too. The Roman Pollock's a problem. Boston wins.

I also kind of think they've kind of gotten better defensively and kind of know what to do a little more back there. Yeah, I also think the Leafs have been fucking great for like the last two months or so. As Sean pointed out, he said that the Leafs record in one goal games is the best in the league, but I keep pointing out that like they keep blowing leads. that get them down to one goal leads and you're not going to get out to three goal leads against the ruins the New Jersey Devils at the most third period cupbacks of all the yeah there's a reason for that

yeah because usually when you're trailing after 40 in the playoffs you don't come back so it's fine congratulations you have a high octane offense congratulations your defense blows yeah it all evens out it's Boston and six Leafs and six I like

I don't I like that pick for one reason which is that Boston is the chalkiest fucking chalk in the league right now as far as people picking them to make the cup final. I mean, you know, Nashville aside, I just find it to be this weird default setting where people are like remembering how good the Berger Online was a month ago and now they're like, oh, that's the team. That's a team that just lost at home to a team that's not in the play for. Yeah, it's also a team that has Rick Nash on the roster. You don't got to tell me, man. I watched

a lot of Rick Nash the last five years, my friend. Also, Brandon Carlos' loss is something that probably has not been talked about enough. Like they're missing Brandon Car, and all the guys they have that aren't hurt anymore that are going to play are still kind of hurt. but there is I mean Ryan Donato did win a gold medal for the U.S. Olympic team so I mean there is that they've got that going for them. What a Brian did you have to finish the year with like 31 points in like 14 games? Something like that. Yeah, it's not going to happen.

And also a B on his test at Harvard that he was studying for that one time. So it's very exciting. Is there a chance, let's say the Bruins actually win the cup. Is there a chance that Patrice Berserun doesn't win the cons mithe? Like what would have to happen? Like would Marshah, how many points would Marshand have to have more than Bergeron for Bergeron not to win the cons mithe? Like to me he is

The slam dunkiest of slam dunk Jonathan Taves preordained We're going to suck this guy off if he is anywhere near an MVP performance in the playoffs The only guy that could beat him is Chara Here's here's the See the thing is that Whenever we go out to screw over the guy who deserves to win the Kant's wife That guy is always not Canadian whether it's Kessel

Whether it's Kopitar We always find a way to not give the European guy This guy is He checks all the boxes, quote unquote underrated, quote unquote Canadian, quote unquote. Here's how it happens. Bergeron finishes third in scoring, but he's five points behind both Marchand and Pastor Knock. And so those two guys split the vote and then all the other votes go to Bergeron. And Bergeron gets all those votes and then he wins.

People are going to be torn between those two and they're going to be like, screw it. Give it to Bergeron. The polls would be wrong. He's going to win in Michigan. This room needs to be 10 degrees colder, and I need some trail mix. Trump in prison with Sean Leahy. There's a show I'd watch. I get to use the toilet in the room.

Sad. No, you don't get to use the toilet. I'm using the toilet. I'm reading box scores. And my old copy of the hockey news I bought with me to prison. Wait, who's who? This is a witch hunt. This is a witch hunt.

Same deal. I hope T.J. Miller goes to prison for the full five. Wouldn't that be amazing? Oh, my God. What's the next? What other series? What's the next series? What's the next series? You got me thinking about non-hockey stuff now. Capitals and Blue Jackets. Greg.

Okay, here it is. I don't know how to tell you this, but in the past, we have fallen for the caps being the team to beat. Right? Every year we're like, this is going to be it. Doesn't happen. Guess what happens this year? You fell for the caps? Caps and six. Yeah.

Didn't you write a story for Vice that said that you're all in on the Caps to win this year? I have never gotten more negative feedback from a fan base writing something positive about the team. It was fantastic. It's kind of the funny thing for both Caps fans and Sharks fans are kind of the same way, for obvious reasons, in the sense that like the more you write about their team in a positive life, they're like, fuck, no, no. It's like someone in New York finding a really great bar that just enough people go to, but not to. Too many people go to, and the drinks are like three bucks. Don't tell anybody. And you're just like, oh, this is the best place ever.

Oh, my God, I'm going to bring my friends there. No, you're not. You can go. I told you. No one but fucking you can go. I can't wait for the caps to win the series quickly. And then, like, the Flyers and Penguins beat the ever-loving bejesis of each other for seven games. And the people are like, this is it now.

The caps are rested and ready to go. It's almost like we see two different post seasons here. Because I like the Blue Jackets and seven. Ooh, seven. I'm going to win game seven in D. Boy, you are just so mean to these people. Teams don't win game sevens in DC. The Capitals lose Game Sevens in DC.

So the caps drop 3-1 in the series at some point, do you think? It was 3-1. No, I like this pick for two reasons. One, I like Seth Jones being deployed against the Ovechkin line. I kind of like that matchup for the Blue Jackets there. What about the other line? What other line? The one with Kuznets off on it, who disappears in the playoffs now.

What do you mean? He used like 13 points in 15 games last year. he had he had he had he had he had a bad postseason two years ago yeah he had a bad postseason I think he was really good last year though backstrom was which is a nice change I mean you know all those years when Hovecgian was being blamed for the capitals being shitty in the playoffs and it's actually backstrom who is shitty this is a battle between you hating backstrom and you hating Vibrovsky and Bropovsky come out no I hate Torto Lerloa more than anybody but

I do think that it's interesting that torts has had some success against the capitals in years past granted with Henrik Henrik Lundkwis between the pipes but here's the thing 2011. Here's the thing. My theory on Sergey Bobrovsky is that it's not a playoff problem, it's a penguins problem. In three of his four postseason appearances, he's played the penguins. Maybe, much like Tuka Rask playing in Pittsburgh, he's a great goalie who fucking sucks

against the penguins in certain situations. So my theory is that he will find his game and play well and win at least two of these games on his own and the Blue Jackets, the Columbus Blue Jackets, the first time in the storied history of that franchise, going all the way back to the years in which they had Mark Deney as their goalie and Dennis Brobreev up front will win a playoff series.

All right, Caps in seven. You think the Capitals will win a game seven. You're going to win a game seven. At home. We're going to do it at home. With the clenched sphincters of all involved as they prepare themselves from their playoff disaster. They may even come back from down three, two,

in that series to win it in seven. That's how, like, I feel like the caps are just going to enjoy not having expectations. Well, let's talk about the giant German elephant in the room, which is Philip Grubauer. Yeah, I like that too. See, like, I don't like it from the devil's standpoint where they have to use their backup goalie because the other one's completely messed up at this point. I like, I like how they've used, because like they really run Kincaid into the ground, too.

That's the other thing about this series. Yeah, he's not really played this volume of games. Yeah, and like Grubauer and Hopi, like, they haven't been switching on and off down the stretch, but like both for the first time going into the postseason, neither goalie has been run into the ground. And so even if Gru Bauer is like, they can just throw in Brayton Holby. But Holpey's been bad. I mean, maybe not Schneider bad, but he's not been good.

No, for sure. But I would have, I disagree with that. I think you start Holpey in the first two games and hope that he shows you something. And then you have Gru Bauer who's played out of his mind and in your back pocket in case the shit goes sideways. Yeah, but if you. I don't like going back to the guy with the yips. But if you take the guy out who's been playing out of his mind, that's kind of a weird thing to put into his head. Like, hey, you've been playing out of your mind.

Go sit down for two games. Why? It's been established that Holpey is a starter. I mean like you think it's What do you mean? Oh like just during the season. Like like he's signed through 2020 and Grubhauer's an RFA after the season. Like it's not out of the realm of possibility that you go back to your starter when you start the playoffs.

Yeah, but Brayden Holby has he hasn't like Mark Andre flurried the capitals yet. But like every year in round two, he seems to not know how to play goalie anymore. So same thing with why build up to that just to have that happening? Penguins problem, man. All these things. All these things you're diagnosing are problems when you play the penguins. We're going to play in the second round probably if they win the penguins, so why even go there? So you're picking the penguins against the line?

I know you did. I saw you say that on day. You were struggling. You were trying to find a way. What ultimately led you to pick the Flyers to beat the Penguins? See, my feeling about the Penguins is how you're feeling about Tampa is how they've been not good for like a really long period of time. We're all just kind of like, well, they're two-time cup champs. They'll flip the switch.

But if there's one team that they can't flip a switch against, it's the Flyers. The flyers are like the, the flyers are the penguins of the capitals. Is that the connection? So you're saying the flyers are the penguins of the capitals. And then they flip it around and then they, I just, everyone keeps pointing out the depth of Pittsburgh and it's awesome. Flyers depth isn't so bad. It's, it's sneaky good. No, the flyers have three good lines.

Yeah. It's sneaky good. A couple good D. Andrew McDonald's a problem. Don't love the, don't love the goaltending all that much. You know, which Brian Elliott are you getting? The competent one? or the one that's actually above average.

Like, Matt Murray's been kind of dog shit all year. I'll take Matt Murray in the playoffs, sir. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I just, I feel like it's going to be one and one going. And also, it's just, remember when Boston was the shitty sports city that couldn't win Dick all? And then they's, one day they just woke up and they win two titles a year now? Are you saying that you think the Flyers are going to win because of Nick Foes?

Nick Foes, Nova. Nova's got two titles in three years. the Eagles want a title with fucking goddamn Nick Foles. The Sixers are going to win 50 games this year. I just need to dissect this for a second. Your theory is that the Flyers will meet the penguins because Philadelphia is such a successful

sports town. Go travel back 15 years in time. That's what I'm saying. Tell that to past days. That's what I'm saying about Boston. Everyone loved Bill Simmons and Bill Simmons first shut up because he was the loser of Boston fan who just lamented his existence all the time.

And then by 2009, he was the douchebag fan you wanted to punch in the face at the bar every time. That's what Phillies be coming now man like Travis Hughes love that guy in five years I'm gonna kill him in a bar it's gonna happen he's gonna walk in wearing like a Sixers Flyers Nova Eagles jersey and I'm just gonna strangle the death it's gonna as long as it's a curse of the Bambino we're never gonna win a world series 10 years later Brady's working on his 25th Super Bowl title and he's still underrated what's the Philly curse the curse of the curse of Donovan

vomiting on the field they like exercised that part of the field that had to puke in it I think it's the curse of Forsberg giving up a player that ilk for Eric Lundraud Even the Phillies. Aren't the Phillies not terrible to start the year? They're like three and four or something. That's a pretty good stuff for them. WIP. Yeah, I want to talk about the Phillies.

Daring Dolton, John Crook, Steve Jelts, all All All-Stars this year. I'll hang up and listen. Steve Jelts. Jesus. There's nothing better. You know what's funny? I've watched sports as long as you have.

And like I know all kinds of old-timey names from all different sports, but the baseball ones are always the one that killed me the most. I don't know why. The baseball ones, like my knowledge of baseball players are basically from my top sets between the years of 1989 and 19. in like, 1999 in, like, 1999.

But, like, if somebody references Kurt Rambis, I don't find that as funny as somebody referencing, like, um, you know,

Andy Van Slyker. It's like, hey, Greg, did you see how good the Texas Rangers are doing? Yeah,

how's Encavelia? You're like, you know? How's O'Dobo doing this year? Right. You know, like, I just know why.

I just find them so much funier. Their pitching's been really good. Well, of course, they have Charlie Huff, master of the knuckleball. Why wouldn't it be?

How's Teddy Higara are doing this year. Teddy Higero's on the Brewers, motherfucker. Phillies are four and five. That's huge for the Phillies. I'm telling you, it's their year. But you're going to take this. I think the penguins will beat the flyers.

So you've got them in the conference finals already then, right? No, I have them against the blue jackets. So you just said that Barbarowski's problem was the penguins. Yeah. So you're circular arguing against yourself. No, I'm simply saying I don't have to pick the second round. So why the fuck would I pick the second round and make myself look like an asshole? So you really are a coward, huh?

As I am. Interesting. Yeah, that's right. So Pittsburgh, huh? courage. Uh, yes, Pittsburgh over the flyers. Uh, I, I want to say six. Flyers and six.

Claudeau's playoff numbers are incredible, by the way. Like, it last, like, who's, like, Claudeau. Oh, Clodrew. Like, he's a point, he's over, I think, over a point per game in the playoffs. And that's with a bad playoff last time because he was hurt. Hmm? They got Matt Reed on their fourth line.

They got guys who can skate with them. It's going to be a real fun series. Like, I think it's really going to be just like 2012. There's going to be like a bunch of games that are just out, like, just, nuts. Oh, I don't think it's going to be as bad as I don't think it's going to be as nuts as 2012, do you? I'm just saying, both goalies.

You can't count on either a goaltender on either side. You got a ton of skill, not a lot of great defense. Like, Andrew McDonald's going to play 20 minutes a night. The Penguins D isn't really great. It's, I'm telling you, that's got a lot of 5-4 written all over it. I feel like Malkin has a good day. Oh, he's kind of tall. Oh, you mean they're, oh, yeah, no, I don't have any faith in their defense.

Wow. So you just assume Malkin's got a hog on him, huh? Don't you? Because he's tall? And he's got sort of that... Trust me, that's true. That gigantism sort of like, like, Shrek-like features.

He has like a big jaw, so you just think he's just got a huge old... He's got a huge old... Yeah. Would you? Yeah. If you walked up to Gengen Malkin in a coffee shop, wouldn't you just assume that he has a giant? First thing I would think of, I'd be like, wow, this guy's tall. Yeah.

Nine, nine and a half inches, definitely. Mm-hmm. Like thick. Yeah. Couldn't get your whole hand around it. Right. It's like, it's like grabbing a baseball bat by the other end. Right.

Yeah. It's like grabbing a... tube of borscht. Does borsch come in a tube? I don't know. You could have just went salami. I mean, that could have painted the same picture of it. It's like a vodka bottle.

Oh, there goes that Russian stereotype again. Is that a great goose in your pocket? Are you just happy to, oh, you are just happy to, oh, you are just getting? How's it going? I'm just saying, like, compared to Connor Shiri. Now, I'm not trying to... Oh, now you're just assuming all short guys.

I'm just saying that... The size is fairity. It's like a master blaster thing. You always assume that blaster is probably doing better than master. I've had this conversation with women because like we've, when you see a girl about you're getting Mulcan. No, about like how like because like in the world of like

being attracted to people, when you see a woman, you kind of see whether matter what they're wearing, you kind of see what everyone's got, but when you see a guy, you don't know what a guy's, you know, you have no idea what's going on down there. But like some women just, some women just just know they say. They just, they can tell by confidence. Not necessarily like wearing the tight jeans

that, you know, like you and I wear. Right. That just displays everything. Right. Right. Yeah. Tall and short. It doesn't matter. No. It's probably a helpful guide in terms of proportionality, but... Women just know, like, when someone's, like, loud and overly funny and constantly boasting about themselves.

Like, most guys with podcasts are just huge. Just, just unforgivingly, just genetically... The smallest you could... Tiniest you've ever seen in your life. Like little baby turtles. Yeah, it's like, oh, man, I can see right up his shorts, but I can't, oh, I can't see anything. Yeah.

Oh, cross-ry cargo shorts, buddy. I can see right up there. It's like a Ken doll, but less hung. It's like an elbow macaroni between a couple of garbonzo beans. That's just not funny. Yeah. I know myself pretty well. You do go to the gym.

All right. So you like the penguins. Do you like the Flyers? I like the Penguins. And you like the Capitals and I like the Blue Jackets. Flyers, Caps, Boston, Tampa. All right. We both like different things.

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She's saying Gold Dust Woman. Like, no, he's the guy who sings Holiday Road, but his name's Lindsay. Yeah, that took me a while. And then I saw send her to Lindsay Graham. I'm like, oh, all right. I've got the Siki cap my phone and it's by far the easiest question. I found a shop for tickets. I could be anywhere where there's a few taps.

I can instantly find seats. I actually just used Seekek to buy tickets to the devil's Tampa game. I referenced before that you claimed didn't happen during their street, but totally did. No, you said all the games happened during the street. I said there were 3 in O this year, and you said, yeah, that happened during the street. Yeah, they played them during the street is what I learned. Of course, yeah, they played eye game. Seek is designed to make your ticket buying experience easier than ever.

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That's promo code soup for $20 off your first Seat Geek purchase. Seek, the smartest way to buy $2. tickets to anything. Can you see geek to get those game one golden nights tickets down from 575 to like 555? Sweet! Golden nights! Are they still doing that?

I feel like they don't do it at the games anymore. They just do it at all the other games. Like, oh, you mean the fans that send us the videos? Yeah, like, I've never, I can't remember the last time somebody sent it to us from a Vegas golden nights game. So I, had a few people, it must have been last month that filmed the Golden Knights doing it, like playing the song. Yeah? I don't know. Didn't they got rid of it when they got rid of their Twitter guy?

I mean, they should not get rid of the Sweet Cold and Nights thing. The theory is that, so the Stanley Cup has its own Twitter feed now, by the way. I don't know if you knew that. Well, that's great. It's called, it's Twitter.com, I think, backslash the Stanley Cup. And the theory is that that's where he's working now because the first few tweets from the account were obnoxious. All right, you got me to go look. As Dave looks up the Stanley Cup Twitter, we should talk about the fact that it is also getaway week for NHL teams.

closing out their lockers, packing up their gear, saying goodbye to their friends, potentially saying goodbye to their jobs. And in some cases, guys that we thought would be saying goodbye to their jobs have not yet or will not. No one's getting fired. In particular. Nobody. In particular, Garth Snow and Doug Waite both expect to be back next season for the Islanders

and owner John Ledecky, who didn't take questions at his press conference. kind of indicated they're doing a full evaluation of management book. Both those guys indicated to the media they expect to be back. The only thing I could think of is that John Tavares said to the ownership, look, it's going to greatly increase the chances on coming back if these guys are still here. And that's the only reason you'd keep them around. Then he's, he's dumber, he's dumber than a boxer rocks. If he's like, I need Gart Snowback to come back here.

What are you doing? Like, has John Tavares looked around? Why would you? Why? Why? like what is it well we know what it is because we've talked about on the show before which is that it's the idea that they had he has that guard snow has an incredibly problematic contract with a with a trigger for like 25 million dollars that they can't fire him for whatever

whatever the dollar amount is on that actual contract which i still don't know it's not worth it's not worth it yeah it can't possibly be worth it to have him just shuffling around the office puttering around the office fucking up the team for the next you know you know you know what else i think it is is that the billboard backfired because now if you fire him a month after the

billboard goes up it makes everybody look weak it makes them look like that the fans have influence on the team board than they should and like maybe that works

in Toronto where there were done people running the team have you already raised the white flag on that when you decided to fucking build a new arena because your fans

didn't like the ones you're playing in well they were always trying to do that I mean that's different like don't you kind of nod to the fans having influence

and all the fans are like we hate this place and the response is to build something that doesn't exist at Belmont Racetrack to appease them? When is that even supposed to open? Are they going to let Garts know run the team until they get to that building?

Like, that's the thing is like, okay, the fans hate the arena. They build a new one for the fans, and then they tell the fans the guy you hate is going to be the guy that takes you to the new arena? I don't understand. Nothing makes sense. He's been there for 12 years? Right? 12 years. He's won one playoffs. 12 years.

What do you say? What's your opinion of the idea? Because I saw this mention this week and I thought that it's not the worst idea, but I think it's naive of Tavares leaving to take a max one-year contract with the Leafs. No. Why is every free agent? The Leafs are getting like the Yankees now. Whenever there's like a free agent, everyone's going to go there. Kevin Sharnkirk will just take a two-year deal for $21 million.

Let's say it's the Leafs. Let's say it's the Lightning. What do you think about Tavares going and trying for a cup for one year before going and trying to sign a long? term deal. This is the same guy that we're all pretty convinced is going to stay on, stay with the Islanders because he doesn't want to move his stuff. Because the stuff is there. It's now going to move for one year knowingly. I think, I don't think it's the worst like business decision for him. No, of course not. Like, as we've talked about this, how like guys like, like, Priese went to arbitration for one year, one year and then left and got a shit ton of money because he didn't let them

buy up UFA years. Right. Makes sense to do that. But like now he's a UFA. You may as well get it all at once. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I think the issue for me, though, in the naivete of it is the idea that he's going to give up the security of having a long-term deal. He's already torn up his knee, too. It's also, like, I know, and it's like, everybody looks at the NBA

and the opportunism there, and it's like, but that's not a sport where, like, one bad spill into the boards can blow up your fucking, you know. Well, Gordon Hayward would tell you. Okay, okay, oh, fine. His leg is permanently on backwards, Greg. Um, I think this.

Chrisaps blew out his knee, but I see where you're, it's not, it's not as physical a sport, so you're less race. It's also not played on razor blades. on ice, you know, and the weird happenstances that happen. I think that, and then I also think as I often, as people now quote back to me from this very podcast, he doesn't want to move his stuff. Imagine moving your stuff for one year. Oh, that's insane. And then after that, you don't know where you're going to be. Right. Like people who do that are people like us.

Yeah, right. Someone's like, hey, you want to come work in Toronto. You want to come work in L.A. Yes. I'll go there for a year. Not one of the seven greatest hockey players alive today. Who just bought a house who has a long term. My girlfriend, fiancee, or whatever. Yeah, you're not doing that. You'll go to Toronto for seven. He'll go, where do you think he goes if he doesn't stay? Like, I feel like he's going to look around and come back. He's going to do his stamp goes.

Can I ask you a question? Uh-huh. Being that we're friends. Uh-huh. What odds? Mm-hmm. And by that, give me a percentage. 69%.

Ooh, nice. Yeah. Give me a percentage of what you think of the, of the, of this happening next year. Mm-hmm. The New York Rangers opened their season with John Tavaris, Eric Carlson, Elya, Ovalchuk. Well, that doesn't make any sense because Carlson and Tavares are still in their primes. And apparently the Rangers are not back to the team that just overpays for guys that are no longer in their prime anymore.

So I'll say they won't do it for those guys or John Carlson. They'll have to do it for Kovulchuk and maybe they'll bring Jerome McGillade of retirement. Did he say, I'm on Eric. I'm talking about Eric. Oh, I'm saying both. They're not going to get it. Yeah. I mean, it makes.

I will say, I will put it at 49.9% that John Tavares, I'll be able to hear of Yelago Chuck, Matsukarello, Eric Carlson, and Brady Shea are your starting five for the... So they're going to trade for Carlson and not give up Brady Shea in the process. That's a pretty... That's going to be an amazing trade. They have all those defensive prospects they got at the deadline. I just don't get why... Again, this is like the Chattonkirk deal where I don't get why either side wants each other.

Never mind why both sides want each other. Like Colvichuk... Colvichuk is like any dude who did not grow up around here. And he feels like living in New York is like... an awesome thing. So he's going to come do it for three years and get 18 million bucks or whatever it is. But like you're not winning dick all. I've said dick all like five times in this podcast. You're not going to win dick all with the Rangers in these three years. You're not. It is, it is sort of a Bobby Holikish move. Yeah. It's it. It harkens back to that little Scott Coleman.

I do I do think that Colvichuk has enough left where he can be a difference maker for a team. It's not as if they're signing. How do you know? It's a, come on. It's not like they're signing some like he's on a loaded. He's in a He's on a loaded team in a rigged league putting up 80 points in 70 games or whatever. It's not like they're signing Andre Kastitzen. I mean, like, Colchuk's a star. He's a great player. No, but he's playing with like Dotsuk. Who's he going to play with over here?

John Tavares. I just fucking told you. Dude, if John Tavaris goes to the Rangers only have one request, he has to do that shoe shine beard that Hollywood Hulk Hogan had as a member of the NWO when he turned heel. So we got the Boba Fett reference in. Hey Miller stuff. Robos. Listen, brother, the Allander's never met anything to Hollywood, Tavaire.

Broadway Tavares. Oh, my God. I'm over here now at MSG with the big man, Ilya Kovalchuk, with Eric Kay, and the Hollander's can suck it, crotch shop, spray paint belt. Henrik Lundquist just walks by and is like, what have I done? See, in this scenario, Henrik Lunkwist is, uh, is like a Diamond Dallas page. He has to figure out which side he's going to...

So then there was the Montreal Canadiens who also had a GM that didn't get fired. And a GM who, as bad as Islander fans probably felt this week, I have to imagine Montreal fans felt even worse when their GM said, we could have lost less than 40 games if the attitude was better. Not the players.

No. Not the roster. It's a character. It's the, oh, if everybody had more of a smile on their face, Maybe we would have lost more, less than 40 games. Also, they lost more than 40 games. Oh, oh. Mark Bergervan wants to not point that out.

Like with Gart Snow, you can, there's at least some stuff he can point to. You can be like, oh, hey, you got Jordan Eberley. Like, oh, he made the deal that led to Matt Barzow showing, okay? All right. What are you doing with Bergerzman? He gave up, he gave up circuit chair for Drewann. Yeah. The year after he traded Suban for Weber straight up, the team has gone completely in the tank.

Like, they went out and got a coach. They were like, oh, the coach was the problem. Yeah. It wasn't. And still terrible error injury riddled, sure. It was the, I mean, Terry, it was bad. But, but, like, like, like, where's, like, like, like, like, Max Patcheretti is basically begging for his job at this point. Like, what do you, where do you go from here?

You have to start over. You know what I would like to have is one off season or one, like, post season for the, for Montreal where I don't read a story about whether or not Alex Galchinox is going to play center. It's just like. Just wants. It's like, at some point. just let him go. You've got to get off the carousel and not do this anymore. He's one of those guys where he's going to go to a new team and put up like 85 points in the first year. I would bet if I could find that line somewhere in Vegas before that season starts, I would put like a grand on whatever his over under is.

I put it on the over. But it's amazing to me that's like they trade Suban because I don't know if it's going to work out. Meanwhile, he have Gal Chen Yuck in this like fucking purgatory of a career where he can't figure out what the fuck position he's in. Suban's going to maybe win a Norris the second year away. Maybe win a Norris, potentially win a cons. might, you know, the norm for the guy you trade. Cup final two years in a row, maybe. That's what they thought was going to happen.

Oh, yeah, totally. I just don't get, like, what you have to do to get fired as a GM. Technically, Ron Francis wasn't fired. He still wasn't. All right. Let's talk about Carolina real quick. By the way, the problem with firing a GM is, and I mentioned this in the radio this morning, the problem with firing a GM is that it's not firing a coach.

You fire a coach, you get a new coach, and he gets two new assistants. You fire a GM, you bring in a new GM. You have to change a hundred different facets of the team. Yeah, change. Two more things. New front office, new scouting apparatus, new napkins, new toilets. The whole fucking thing changes when you change the guy at the top. This is because Mark Bergervan hates urinals and now that you guys don't want a urinals put in.

I understand. Oh, if he's sitting down, does not get on the suit that way. If you, no, if you pee over a urinal, you will get it all over your $2,000 shoes, the toilet. You have more of a hood over your shoes as you take a tinkle. Dave Lozo's French pronunciation of urinal might be my new favorite thing. A urinal. It's been a year and out.

Did every time by the time I was trying to track down Matt Sundeen for a Hall of Fame story and I was calling people in Quebec because of the whole Quebec connection. And like I talked to so many people on the phone that I started slipping into it while I was like on the phone. Like I called some like car dealership where some guy worked who used to play with him in the 80s. And I was like, uh, thank you. I've told you many times. I think I've mentioned this podcast before, Bill mentioned it again because it's not as if everybody's listening from the beginning. But like one of my favorite things about my dad is when we used to go to Nets games as a kid.

And we'd be sitting in the upper deck. And my dad would sit next to a black man. And they'd be talking about the game. And for whatever reason, my dad to help, I guess, relate better to his new friend. Oh, God. We'd start talking in, like, 1970s sitcom voice. Like Jefferson's voice? Yeah.

Like, like, like, like, you know, Buck Williams, really good player. Yeah, man, I don't know, Buck Williams. I'm just like, it was like a, like, nine-year-old me being like, that's like me in Vancouver whenever I was up there for like two straight rounds. By the end of the third round, I would just be like, uh, how do you say, uh, is about time? You, uh, you got some from, like, I just, I couldn't stop doing it. I'd like, I'd, like, go back and listen to like an interview with like Dave Boland and be like, why am I talking like this? Yeah.

You do get, but, but that's the weird ass thing about Americans and hockey is like everybody adopts that sort of quasi-Canadian dialect. Like, you talk to fucking Joe Mullen from Hell's Kitchen and it's just like, oh, you know, you know, maybe, you know, Stanley Cup and playing with the penguins, Mario, you know. Playing with the Penguins organization. Organization. Organization. You're from New York. All right. Speaking of guys who don't talk Canadian,

Tom Dun dunn, does the exit interviews in Carolina instead of Don Waddell or Bill Peters or anybody from hockey operations? I know that there was outcry and everybody's mad. You don't do this. What a disaster. I fucking love every second of what's happening in Carolina. It's weird that you throw in your lot in with the subprime mortgage scam.

Yeah. Lambert's really mad at me about that. Who has no hockey experience running a team or playing. or watching or doing any of it, injecting himself into all the decisions. You love it. I love it. I love the idea that people outside of the hundred hockey men can come in and try to run a team.

And just to see if it works. Now, it could be Len Berry and Oren Koulos in Tampa again. It's possible. Yeah, why wouldn't it be? But maybe it's not. Maybe this is a guy who figures it out. Maybe this is a guy who knows hockey than everyone else does. He's admitted.

I think he's already admitted. By not knowing it, he knows it. Yeah. blew your mind on that one. Like it's weird how you view him as like Uber. Like disrupting the hockey world. That's right. That's right. Ownership disruption.

Not just a billionaire idiot jackass who doesn't know what he's doing and thinks he does because he's rich. What kind of idiot jackass would buy a team in North Carolina? I think the problem is that the circle gets the square. The problem is that his behavior will scare away many hockey people from wanting to work for him. Yeah. Like you're going to have to hire. Like he's going to be like Jerry Jones where he eventually makes himself the GM. Right.

That's what's going to happen. And how's that worked out in Dallas? It's worth that okay, hasn't it? Has it? You like going 8 and 8 every year with Jason Garrett as your coach? Are you saying the hurricanes wouldn't go, wouldn't take 8 and 8 at this point making the playoffs? I mean, they're kind of basically, they've been 8 and 8 the last couple years for the most part.

I just, it's not even like scaring. It's like, it'd be one thing if like, let's say Ryan Lambert, for instance, a guy with no hockey managerial experience ever suddenly started running the hurricanes. I'd be like, well, I don't know how having a. a Jurassic Park night every night for 41 games is going to help. But I understand that I've seen Ryan watch hockey. I've read his stuff. I understand he knows hockey. Like, all right, let him go into the exit interviews. What if, what if it's Tom Dundon? What if it's Tom Dundon and Eric Tolski actually running the team, then would everybody be happy about it when it's the analytics guy?

Oh, if they made Eric, that's what I mean is like, if they made Eric Tolski the GM. Yeah. Would that be insane? Sure. I am aware of the fact that Eric Tulski has attended a hockey game at some point in his life. Therefore, I'd be like, all right. I find. At this point, this is the only thing I want to happen in life because then I want to go back and read, this is insane. You can't have this guy running this team. He doesn't know what he's doing. Eric Palski,

name general, the Hurricanes of reinvented hockey. They've saved it. They gave it to the analytics community. Why is no one looking at the screen while they type when they do that thing? I was typing while I did that. But that's the thing.

He's not going to do that. He's, he's He's going to, wait, no one ever gave us the terms of the bet that we were going to do. And I don't remember what the actual bet was. What was the bet? Was it the Kings Vegas series? It might have been. I forget what it was.

Yeah, I think it was Kings Vegas. But I was going to say we bet on if Tom Dundon names himself GM at some point in the last season. I think he does. I don't think he will, but I'll take that bet. Yeah. Is that all I am to you, by the way? A fucking bet? Dude, you can't sports gamble in Jersey yet.

I got the itch, man. It's either this or I, play draft kings in the playoffs and I'm going to get slaughter playing draftsings. Finally, Ryan O'Reilly told the world that he lost his love of hockey because the sabres are that bad. So I already ranted about this this morning, but I can rant about it again. Let's say you're the kind of human being

who would crash his car into a donut shop. Hypothetically speaking. Hypothetically, you're a guy with an Irish surname who would crash his vintage truck. You're Brian O'Hulahan. And you crash your vintage truck while you've had, after you've had a few beers into a Tim You pops.

You get out of the truck and you're run away. Uh-huh. You don't face up to your, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you, you, you're, you, you're, you're, you're, it's, like a timbit. Like a timbit, like a hill into an empty Tim Horton's cup that had nothing under the lid when you rolled it up. Oh, ever. Worst. Never does. Never does.

Is that really the guy you want leading your, your, your employees in, in any setting anywhere, when things are tough. he has he has three rough years the last two he's earned 20 million dollars during and he's just like i don't know if i love this you know what go fuck yourself wow go fuck yourself his his words made me realize that the uh 2018 sabers are the pre mac david oilers they're just a bunch of guys that's where they are right now that have completely lost their smile they got they got a first they got the big the big you know second pick overall and jack ikel and like fuck They've got all this stuff in front of them. They can't win.

The ownership's like, all right, what about Phil Housley? And Phil Housley's like, I can't do anything with this shit. They're like, what about Jason Baderl? He's from a winning place. And Bauderl's like, I don't even know how we won there anymore. I can't do this either. So what they need is for what happened in Edmonton, which is they need to win the draft lottery and get Rast and Staling.

And then all of a sudden, they're like good. They probably need that. I'm just picturing T.J. Miller on the train. That's what that's what set him off. He told the girl to smile. He lost your smile. And then she told him to go fuck himself. and then he went off.

She's got a bomb! Yeah! She had a... See, the joke would have been for her, but like, yeah, there's a bomb in my bag and she pulls out a copy

of the emoji movie. The emoji movie made a bunch of money, so I can't do that joke. That would be the joke. Yeah, but like, I believe what Ryan O'Reilly's saying. It's just, it's just so fucking shitty

for him to be like, I've lost the... I don't feel like guys are really trying... Does he go to them? Don't you like... But don't you like it when these guys were honest, like when...

Luongo is like my contract sucks and all this stuff. But when you, when you're, just because you're honest doesn't mean I get to be like, that's great. You know, like if you're Roberto Luongo and you're like, I'm a, I'm a prisoner to my 12 year, $90 million deal. I agree to a certain extent. I agree that mayhap's the man who crashed this truck into a Tim Hortons who once requested a trade.

I can't believe he got away with it. And signed an offer sheet. I forget if he actually requested a trade. I know he definitely signed the offer sheet. but like O'Reilly's path to this was that like it all led him here like he's not born into it like Eichol's born into it. You want a no part of Colorado. Yeah. And he was like, get me out of here.

Well, guess what? You're in Buffalo now, buddy. Buffalo. And I just, I don't know. If you're like the leader of the team and you feel like all your players are not willing to try and they're playing it safe, like you need to, like has he told them that? Like, I don't know. Like, I hate when I see interviews and I'm not there for the follow-up. Like when Stan Bowman says, look, a full season is not enough time to judge a trade, you're going to be like, uh, hi, Dave Lozo, Chicago Tribune follow-up.

What? A year? See, you've referenced biscuits a billion times. I'll reference ESPN on an ice once. You saw my Pelican brief on that trade, right? That it's a way to launder Arcemi Panarian in Columbus for two years and then bring him back as Kane's winger when his contract's up. Yeah, when Patrick Haynes is like 36 years old at that point. Just remember that.

I'm going to be Julia Roberts running away from John Hurd. I think who was an assassin in that movie. He was the assassin? Wasn't he, though? Denzel was the reporter. And who was Julia Roberts? Maybe John Hurd was a hell. Oh, who the hell knows?

Is Julia Roberts like a government? Julie Roberts was the like the girlfriend of a judge that died or a law professor that died. Yes, law professor. That's what it was a great movie. That was a great movie. Oh, that's right, the playoffs. So the Vegas Golden Knights. The Golden Knights against the LA Kings in the first round, you liked the Kings here.

Oh, it's not even close. Well, I mean, it's going to be close because I think it's going to go seven games and the knights are going to win. But like, wow. Dude, I've been saying, listen, I... Are you overcompensating for the fact that I talked you out of Vegas in the regular season? And now you want to get on board at the start of the playoffs? I mean, yeah, I'm not going to cower in the face of your cynicism anymore about the Golden Knights. They're going to win this series.

They're going to win one round. They'll probably won't win a second round. round. But I'm sorry. They beat L.A. Why can't they beat Anaheimer or San Jose? I think San Jose is better than them. Spoiler.

I think that, I think that, like, listen, I've been saying for weeks that I think L.A. is a dangerous team. It wouldn't shock me to see them win this series. Kopitar, Carter, whatever Dustin, this guy impersonating Dustin Brown is. Jonathan Quick. Great. Not a lot of depth on that team, though, compared to what the gold knights can roll. at you. I think the knights are faster. I think you're going to see Dionne Funf

spun around like a giant concrete top a few times by the night speed. What do they have outside of the top six though? Come on. Who, Vegas? Yeah. Outside of that top six. He's good. He plays in their top six. He's not in the bottom. No, no. The other lines that Eric Huala. Errik Puran when he's healthy and Neil. That man's not fast. That's not a speedy line. David Perron's not flying by anybody. They got good speed. They play fast. You know, there's difference between being fast and playing fast.

I think. See, now you sound like a GM whose team missed the playoffs, and you're just like, well, there's a difference between and we're not slow. Oh, there is a difference between losing and losing. Jonathan Druand is a fast player who plays fast. Max Petruetti is not fast, but he needs to play faster.

What? Jasper Fast is fast in name, but also in fastness. he is very fast in all sorts of fastness. Oh my God, I can't wait to have Ranger fans blame yes for Jonathan quick, surprisingly not fast. He moves around it loud. But he moves around a lot.

He should be Jonathan Agile. Dustin Brown should be like the Edmontonweather's like beacon of light for Milan Luchichich, because Dustin Brown was pretty much a dead corpse skating around for like how many years? Luchich mentioned him and I was watching Luchich's a post-season press conference, whatever. And he mentioned Dustin Brown as being like one of the guys that he's looking at is like a potential career renaissance.

I'm like, yeah. But, you know. Yeah, but then he'd have to play with Connor, and I don't think they want to play him with Connor. Connor McDavid, it's basically like, it's basically like driving your car with a parking brake on. That's like Lou Cheach. So I'm taking L.A.

Because they played most of the season without Jeff Carter. You're missing Jeff Carter. You're missing very elite winger scorer that we don't talk about too much. You can play a center too. I like the defense better. I like the goaltending better. I like everything better. I think L.A. is coming out of the Pacific.

LA and six, even though I think that may be a game too long. The sweet golden nights will win in seven. Wow. That's what I say to you, my friend. Home ice advantage is, in fact. Is it going to be home ice advantage? Yeah. They're going to, Bill Foley is going to have every L.A. King's fan that shows up on the arena,

rustled up and put in a cell underneath the arena. Everyone who leaves the building now gets a free $25 green ship to go across the street to the Monte Carlo. The Kings fans are going to be kept in a vault between the Bellagio, the MGM Grand and the Vanis. on a fight night it's like a hundred LA Kings fans in there on a hockey night that's $120 million

dollars So so we'll go there for that So okay Sharks and Ducks I've long I've already spoiled it I think the Sharks can win that series

I think that one has maybe the most potential to go seven The loss of Cam Fowler is pretty big for the duckies I don't know I don't know what the status of Joe Thornton is for that series but if he comes back, you're rolling Thornton Pavelsky, Evander Kane, and then a couture line.

I think you're going to be doing pretty good for yourself, even with Anaheim having some pretty good depth on that team. Totally forgot about Cam Fowler and I'm playing. So Biscuits Dave took the ducks. Yeah? Puck Soup Dave loves the sharks. I think Puck Soup Dave is the smarter of the two Dave's. That is clearly the way to go here for everything. You just said, the depth.

I also don't trust John Gibson to get through seven games without, like, tearing his testicle or something. At ESPN, 30 for 30, the two daves. one Dave that was a Chappelle pit wasn't took the ducks the other day I was doing like

the two bills oh the two bills you'll have two Dave sitting in there and being like and then Francesa's just like Bill yeah

so one day he'll be like I made you and the other bills like I surpassed you did you ever watch that no dude like Bill Belichick

is extremely deferral to everything that Parcells does Parcells is the godfather he just sits there and nods yeah the big tuna

he was the tuna he was the tuna before Jim from the office was the tuna a acclaimed director Jim from the office. Speaking of comedy

that's problematic after it wasn't problematic. Right. Like watching those old episodes on Comedy Central now, they're not all like that, but like there's a lot where you're just kind of like,

I mean the power dynamics and the abuse of nature of relationships and like, I always thought Michael Scott was insufferable the whole time on that show, but like you go back and watch it now

and you're just like, how did this ever fly on television? How did people ever grab, Steve Carrell? It's just super talented if people like Steve Carrell's right. But that's a whole other. their conversation. So sharks in

six. I'll go sharks in seven. Hopefully jumbo comes back and everybody is How many of these things you got going seven? You're going to be busy the last two nights of the first round if you got on this. I say, Kings probably, I probably pick different games in my actual picks. I just remember them all as seven now. You don't have anything in five or four happening. Like, you're expecting. Oh, do I? Oh, do you? National Predators. Four games over the Colorado Avalanche. That game, that's going to be fucking quick. Like, I, I am so happy that McKinnon made the

made the cut to be eligible for the heart trophy. But I, uh, by the way, all of the guy, all the fucking naysayers, they were just like, what happens to Taylor Hall playoffs, Nathan McKinnon, playoffs, Anjikopatar, playoffs. Who am I missing? Who's the other guy? Oh, Claude Jureux. All the people that we said, if they make the playoffs, they should be considered for the heart, are now in the playoffs, except for that one guy who's fucking 20 points out.

So you tell me. Nikit Kutrae finished third in scoring now, by the way. Mm-hmm. the guy that was the MVP a month ago. He's ineligible for the heart now. Because he's on too good a team and he's third in scoring. That's right. Give it to the guy who's third in scoring.

Right. John Klingberg, ineligible from the Norris now because he didn't win the scoring title. By the way, I saw Eric Yohatchik's ballot. He's not a PHWA guy. I was surprised by this. It's kind of weird. He did it on the athletic and he gave the Lady Bing to Austin Matthews. And I said this when it happened. You can't give the lady Bing to the guy that mocked referees on the ice because they called something against him. And then after he scored a goal, he gave them shit.

Not gentlemanly. It's not. That's the least. gentlemanly thing. I don't care how many pims he has. I don't care how many goals he has in relation to that. I also think mocking referees is hilarious. He should do it all the time, but you can't win the Lady Bing if you do that. You can't. The Lady Bing, you can't. The Lady Bing should go to William Carlson. The Lady Bing, you know, the lady Bing should. The lady Bing should. He's a guy who had an amazing year who's generally a nice guy and doesn't have a lot of penalty minutes. And we just want him to because. And listen, it's great. He just has to walk like a cross the street from his house to the awards. How great would that be? That would be fantastic. It would be fantastic.

Seriously. Yeah, you just get an Uber from out where like Daniel Nogranu lives and just these are in ten minutes. Think about how much money you'll save NHL if you'll have all the Vegas Golden Knights be nominated for awards. Like Jerry Galant's going to be like upstairs at the fucking. Why can't Mark Andre Fleury win the award? He's an extremely gentlemanly person.

Mark Andre Fleury is going to win the, not win, but be a Vez and the finalist. I'm convinced of it now. I think it's going to be Pecker-Orenet, Mark Andre Fleury and Vasillesky. What about John Gibson and Sergey Verroffes? Nope. No way. It's going to be Sergei Vovovsky. GMs aren't,

GMs aren't those guys. I think GMs aren't kind of like, no. I think GMs are those guys. I think GMs are like, wow, look what he's been able to accomplish on the best expansion team that's ever been put together. He's made like, what, like 44 starts? 46, around that neighborhood. I'm telling you.

He's going to Jose Theodore his ass into that finalist. Well, then, Bradmore, should be the MVP then if we're going to just not have a game's consideration. Christ. This podcast is never long enough for my taste. Or maybe Cam Talbot should be the MVP because he not so many games and he helped his team get to good draft play according

to your theme So, Predators in 4. Do you have Predators in 4? You know what? I'm going to say Preders in 5 just so like if Colorado wins game 1 I don't have to hear from Colorado people that Oh, you said we're going to get swept. Preds in 5.

And then finally, the Minnesota Wild and the Winnipeg Jets, the Wilde of course without Ryan Suter. The Winnipeg Jets with everything on their roster that's great. And I think unless Connor Holly Buck is not good. Jacob Trub is playing them with a little thing. Sure.

But if the goaltending falls apart for the Jets, they won't win. But otherwise, I can't imagine a scenario in which they don't win the series in five. Biscuits, Dave. Big fan of the Jets. Okay. Puck Soup, Dave is going in on Minnesota. Because here's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

Winnipeg Jets have not made the playoffs in two years. They don't have that battle-tested sort of thing happening. Oh, yeah. sure Minnesota craps their pants they won a series last year yeah missing Ryan Suter problem right but I don't think it's a big enough problem

to stop them from winning the series in six I have a hard time picking the road team to win in seven so I'm just gonna say six I like I like your logic I like how you didn't mention Bruce Boudreau's name at all well if you win it in six

then you're not going to seven and you don't have the Boudreau curse wait you're right no it can't be six because then he's up three two and wins a series Right. Wild and five. Listen. We just gave you all these playoff picks, which means the playoffs are here, which means that you're going to watch them. And you know what the best thing to do is to have somebody to watch them with, and you know what the best way to find somebody who watch them with is?

Are we doing an adult friend finder? What do we got here? With e-harmonie. If you're trying dating online, chances are you run into lazy text messages, dead-end conversations, random matches that don't turn into anything. But e-harmonie isn't like many other online dating sites. You talk about, I think eHarmony is a good time. I think it's a situation where you can find someone you really like with EHarmony. I know many, many friends who have used EHarmony to find themselves a date.

And in some cases, Dave, even a life mate. EHarmony takes steps that other dating sites don't in order to find you a more compatible match. They use years and years of science and data to help you find lasting, meaningful relationships. And they've helped over a million people to find their perfect match. Now, here's the deal. What's the deal? What's the deal? soup listeners can get a free month of e-harmony.

What's the value of that? When they sign up for a... That's great value. A three-month subscription. Just enter the promo code Puck Soup. That's all one word. P-U-C-S-O-U-P at checkout. Stop waiting and start your journey to a satisfying, meaningful, meaningful relationship.

E-Harmony. Three-month subscription, one month free. Go to e-harmony.com to get started and enter the promo code Puck Soup at checkout. E-Harmony. get yourself someone to love. See, now, I don't want to compete with the harmony since we just did a thing for them, but why don't we have like a puck soup harmony thing

where like our listeners, we can link them right to. Soup harmony. We can hook up people. Yeah. Well, that's why we should do more live shows. Consumate. We should do, maybe we should do a live show at some point

and have, you know I want more game shows. Maybe we should do like a dating game, a live puck soup show at some point. I feel like that could probably get us in trouble. I think there's no good. No, nothing good could come from me. it. No.

It was a good idea at the time. The question of the week is... Super number two. If I were a goalie, how would you score on me? Well, you know what? You're a tender, and you know what? I would be tender with you. Super number three.

How do you grip your stick? What? How do you grip your stick? You mean like in hockey or how do you grip you stick? Super number four. Let's say you were playing in 1904 for the Brooklyn Cyclones, and you got into a stick fight with Gordio Hulahan. How would you defend yourself and how would you explain it to your teammates?

Are you noted hockey journalist Stan the Maven Fisher? I'm afraid I can't reveal my identity at this time, much the way a player couldn't reveal that he was going to take an eyeball out with a stick in 1915. 41 in the W.H.L. One-eyed Jack Johnson was a ranger's draft pick. He picked him in the third round. Of course, they didn't realize at the time. It wasn't just one eye he was missing.

He was also a leg. So stumpy one-eyed Jack Johnson. It's a lot of nicknames. The question of the week was tell us which, tell us your Stanley Cup final. and who wins the cup. William writes in and says the Leifes will beat the Jets. Canada has had enough

and paid off the referee union if there even was one to get an all Canada final. I mean, Leif's Jets would be a hell of a series. I don't think... Oh, you know we didn't talk about because I was about to make an NBC joke?

The fucking golf channel. Oh my God. I see, I think you said Toronto. I think they're going to say Steve Simmons. No. Oh, no, I don't even give a shit about that. But, like, I mean, I do, but I don't. I like, I like, the 95th most popular Vancouver column that says something about, like,

the Khan Smyth, and you're mad about it. But, like, Steve Simmons, the other podcast. That's why I don't care about it. Yeah, Steve Simmons talking shit on Marksavard. I just don't understand how, let's just say Mark Savard did not have a brain injury. And I was, like, trying to get him on the phone in 2011. He never called me back. Right.

And then in 2017, he becomes a Boston media guy. At no point in my broken, destroyed brain would I be like, how dare he not talk to me? Yeah. And then join the media. Right. Like, what's the connection there through your brain that you think that matters? Yeah. And never mind that he actually did have a serious brain injury and didn't want to talk on the phone anybody about it.

It's almost like certain journalists use their bully pulpit to settle old feuds rather than actually being, you know, good. He can put anything he wants in that fucking lazy-ass Sunday column. Yeah. Eric Carlson picked up the puck probably means he's leaving. It's almost like when one writes about Phil Kessel being a fat ass. Yeah. It comes from a place of malice instead of a place of journalism. Yeah.

Where there should be an absence of malice, according to the film. Mouss. Oh. No, the golf, there are two Stanley Cup playoff games on the fucking golf channel. The golf channel. I mean, we've come to accept the fact that there is hockey on C. NBC. We've come to accept the fact that there is occasionally hockey on USA Network where characters are welcome. We've come to accept these as facts because this is what NBC does when they have

more than one game on a night. We have never had a situation where there has been hockey on the Golf Channel. Maybe because, and this is going to sound crazy, it's a channel dedicated to golf and not hockey. I could not. Like, it took me like five years to figure out where True TV was in the NCAA tournament. I still have no idea where the Golf Channel is. I can't find, like, so around here for people that don't live around here. There's MSG, MSG Plus, like MSG2, MSG2 plus. And during the NHL NBA season, there's five teams that could potentially be playing on those networks.

And I still can't find, like, the Islander game on the third one still. I have no way. It's going to take me an hour to find Islanders or Devil's Lightning on Game 4. Yeah, it's a Devil's Lightning game and a Shark's Ducks game. Now, as much as this is a gigantic embarrassment for the NHL, I mean, let's be honest, there is something absolutely delicious about NBC, being so fucking bitter about the Olympics that they're like, you know what?

Sorry, we don't really have any room at the end for these two games. We're going to have to put them on the single most obscure network in an entire family of networks, the golf channel. The network they put on at like the casino when there's like no racing on. Right. Leave it on in the back of that. That's right. That is exactly what it is.

That's all it is, man. It's like, hey, hey man, should we put on that channel that just shows surfing highlights or should we put on the golf channel? I'll put on the golf channel See what's on I seriously can't wait Like for like You know like in like baseball postseason or whatever

Or even hockey post season Yeah You put on like USA or T&T And someone gets mad and it's like Where's bones Where's bones? Where's bones season 7 episode 14 It's supposed to be on

Only it's gonna be for golf channel shows Where's pitch and put with Phil Mickelson I DVR for that tonight man I don't know why it's a stoner who wants to Where the hell's men and green blazers I always want to watch it every night. It's my favorite podcast. It's not on for hockey. Where's Parr for the course with Jack Parr? It's my favorite talk show. I don't know if

Jack Parr is even still alive right now, but I want to watch that if it's a rerun anyway. Where's this ice stuff? Where the hell is getting the hole with Mr. Sandra, the sex advice show on the golf channel? It's not even on because of hockey. It's the worst. Hockey's the worst. You tell him This can go four over dives? Oh my God I want to

Where the hell is golf century on Patrick Reed So we can find out what a weirdo Patrick Reed is Golf Century Was that guy's name? Where's teeing off with Mr. T? The show where Mr. T explains golf to everybody I pity the ball that don't get in that hole Oh hockey.

Yeah. Then Brown says Washington, because I called them as my sneaky pick to win back in February. Yeah, everybody's on the cap's tip, man. And you're another one that just like, what did, what does, I know that if someone, if the, if the, if the, if the flyers can clear the road. Blow. Even if they can't. It's like, it's like when the Red Sox finally beat the Yankees in the World, in the ALCS. I got them over the hump.

They won the World Series in 2004. Same sort of thing. You finally beat the Penguins, the rest. I mean, they'll still lose to the Preds, but they'll get to the third round. This is how Brian puts it. Caps over jets because the penguins will lose to the flyers and therefore not be able to crush your dreams the second round. Everybody's got the flyers clear in the road. That's what we're doing.

Kyle Godwin, or Godown, whatever, says, flyers over sharks, so we'll be stuck with the hackstall and hex stall for the next decade. And I won't feel bad about not watching as much when I'm married with kids because they'll be terrible. Well, there you go. A lot of personal feelings in that. one. Yeah. Geez. Aaron Walker says

Nashville. Pecker Rene has gotten past his road woes. Well, yeah, unless they play Pittsburgh. And now they're deeper at center than

last season. Dan Jenny. How are they deeper? Just Nick Benino? Carl Turris, man. All right. Yeah. If you don't have,

like, if they had Carl Touris last year and played him up with Arvinson and Forthburg, maybe they actually win that series. Dan Jenny writes in Pred's in Boston. Pred's role. Boston just beats the shit

out of everyone in the East. I don't know, man. The East is wide open except for the devils. Fred's in six in the final series is dueling goalie meltdowns. Yeah, like this is going to be a year I think where the winning goal tender is going to have like a 906 percentage. We're going to be like, how did that happen? And then we'll say that goal is the best goalie in the league.

Jordan Hoff, I'm sorry, Jonah Hoff writes him, Preds pens, Preds win because I want to see Bergervan disgraced. It's a man after your own heart. Wait, he wants to see Bergevan? Yeah, Mark Bergevan for Subban winning the cup. Oh, oh. Jamie S. Oh, Jamie. Preds over Devils.

Because obviously Preds, no one thought the Devils were that good in 2012 either, and we can relive. Devils almost went to Nashville narrative during every pregame. Jared Lauer, CBJ over Colorado in the final because I forgot about my playoff pool draft and auto draft hitched my horse to those wagons. Jesus.

That's a great reason. Oh, my God. CBJ over Colorado? Hunter Lehman, Nashville over Toronto, the predators are too hungry and too good to lose. Only possible stumbling block is Winnipeg, but experience will decide that one. Bastian has too many injuries and too many, quote-unquote, healthy but not healthy players. Tampa and Pittsburgh are too gassed.

It's so done that L.A. has an easier path to the conference final than Winnipeg and Nashville do, but we all know how bad the playoff setup is. Nate writes in Jets Boltz is the most entertaining. Jets winning is the funniest end for Canadian drought and Linae winning before Ovecke. is exactly the kind of cruel irony this league thrives on, and I'm assuming half of Tampa's roster will be suffering from bonitis going into the final. I really wish that Florida got in so they could have lost to Vegas and jarga a lot in the final. That would have been fun.

And finally, Schifless Hobo writes in, The Dallas Stars, I've retreated from reality and now live in a fantasy world inside my own brain. I think that's true. I think the Dallas Stars would win in the Oasis. They would probably be doing pretty well in the fuck it everyone gets in tournament right now. who is your what's your Stanley Cup final we haven't we haven't revealed that yet oh I thought you're shy about this I know I had to I had to make a pick on ESPN so I've made my pick Nashville over Tampa which Dave am I speaking to this is the same Dave this is the Dave's the Dave doesn't want to deviate the days have melded together you get different daves for round one two daves from two different time periods touched but did not fall a a poll a pile of goo like Ron Silver and Time Cop you are melded into one Dave.

Like a slightly older, heavier Dave came back in time and gave me the sports omelmanac and told me that I should mix it up a little bit. Right. A Dave dresses of Flash came through your computer screen. You're like, Lois Lane's the key to everything. And then in the next movie, Dave doesn't even address that. Boy, we got right to the end before we got the Marvel, or technically a DC comic book movie in, I guess. That's a DC book.

There. Fill that quota, too. You're just making hockey picks. There we go. There it is. Did you say Nashville over Tampa? Nashville over Tampa, one over one. I picked Nashville over Tampa, too.

This is incredible. I hate it because those two teams have to come through the tougher roads. They do. Well, you know, according to you, not the first round for Tampa. My concern for Nashville is not Nashville. Like, I feel like if Nashville stumbles against the jets, it will be because they were not worthy to be a champion. I feel like Nashville is demonstrably the best team in hockey. They are red wings at the peak of their power is good right now.

I feel like they've been kind of dog shit the last couple weeks they've had nothing to play for yeah well I mean they had to hold off Winnipeg they were they were they were so good like defensively they're so good they're still loaded I but like those teams would lose to San Jose sometimes in a 1-8 matchup even if they were so good you never know I picked the lightning one because I didn't want to pick Boston because everybody was picking Boston

and two because I genuinely believe that they are good enough to win but am I confident about that pick based on how Vasleski's played and telling the media he's fucking tired and shit? No. Am I confident about that pick because, oh, let's see, by the watch I'm wearing, I see it's the

postseason and oh, look, Stephen Stamcoast has hurt again. Am I confident about that? No. That's a problem. That is a problem. Am I confident about a defense that's so reliant on Dan Gerardi? No. That's the thing is, like, I can't see that being a problem until they play Nashville.

Or Winnipeg or like whatever team that I can roll out three lines. Pittsburgh, yeah. But, like, if they play the... That's why the Devils won't be an issue. It's like, Dan Girardy can handle the devil's third line, you know? But the third line of the really good team? I think... Mostly because I didn't want to pick Boston because I'm not a big believer in Boston,

also because I don't want to go with the chalk. I think Tampa and Nashville with Nashville winning. What's your final four? Who's your other two? I mean, I guess I didn't really have to do that, so off the top of my head, I'd probably say Pittsburgh and the Sharks. See, I went L.A. and Washington... I think L.A. went in two rounds?

I don't even love L. I don't even think L.A. is that great, but I just think they have really good matchups in that. You know, who does love L.A.? Randy Newman. He said so. By the way, I went back and watched the naked gun clip where he takes off the mask and, like, that's Frank Drebben, ma'am. Yeah. He saved the queen's life. And then the guy from Peewee's Big Adventure goes, hey, it's Enrico Palazzo. Yep. That 20 seconds, it might be the funniest 20 seconds of that movie.

Yeah. And that movie is loaded with great jokes. When the crowd starts changing Enrico Palazzo. And he just looks around, like, it's so great. I have to admit that, and I know this is not a popular opinion, I've always been more of a naked gun guy than an airplane guy. Like, I think airplane is a ridiculously funny movie, and it gets a lot of credit for setting the template. Top to bottom, I laughed more at the naked gun

and probably refer to the naked gun more than airplane. An assault with a concrete, dildo, Frank. But like, but like we were 12 when that came out. Like, we probably weren't even born when an airplane came out. Probably because also the naked gun is, is, is a sneaky sports movie too because it takes so much of it takes place

at the Angels game. Like Ricardo Maltabon like when he's, I forget exactly what he says but like the whole scene with the fish tank and then he's like, oh, let me get you a tissue. Because he comes out,

he's all soaking wet and everything. He's like, oh, his nose is all red. Oh, let me get you a tissue. I only knew Ricardo Maltabon as the bad guy in the Star Trek movie. So to see him as like a normal guy in a comedy. Like Leslie Nielsen in a comedy.

Like those were the best Presley was hilarious. Yeah. Nice, Beaver. Right. Like when you're 12, that's the funniest thing ever heard in your life.

When they're doing the dating montage and they both walk out of platoon laughing their asses off and hugging and shit. She was killed by a blimp. Good year? The worst. I forget which naked gun movie it was, but it was that line where either her or whoever walks into the police station and she's like, I'm looking for a cop. Yeah. And then they're all like, oh, man. And this starts straightening her ties and shit.

She's like, no. Or the big giant guy. You have something on your, something on your mind. mouth. No, the other side. And then a big banana falls down. All right. That's good stuff. And we've gone through all the merriment. It's time to get serious for a second. The Humboldt Broncos story is one that, from a hockey community standpoint, it's extraordinarily tough to talk about for obvious reasons, but really easy to talk about for other reasons in the

sense that I am absolutely blown away with how people rallied. Like, over $7 million in the GoFundMe. It's up to seven now? Yeah. The sticks outside the doors thing is sort of a visual for the players, people lighting candles next to them in some cases, just taking pictures of them, writing the names of the team and the players on the sticks. Like, it's, the last time I felt this way about a tragedy in hockey, obviously, was the locomotive crash in the KHL. But that happened an ocean away. You know, it affected us all because we knew players that were on the, on the team, that lost their lives. Like Roussaint Slae, for example.

But, like, the, that was when the hockey community kind of came together and we all thought about, oh, well, this is a thing that could happen at any point, and we kind of take it for granted. A bus crash is also something that can happen at any point that we take for granted. But now it's less a story about a hockey team being involved, and it's like every parent of a key to play sports looking at this story and saying, you know, my God. And we're not talking about, I mean, obviously the junior players, right?

But like, the idea of taking for granted the idea that you say goodbye to somebody put them on a bus to, so they go play a game in another town and never worrying about that is sort of commonplace. And like the idea that this could happen and it could happen in a community like that is something that kind of shakes you to your core a little bit. Like I hate how it happened. I hate that like that intersection is so known as this insanely dangerous intersection and all they have is a blinking stop sign. Yeah. Like, it just, like, everyone's putting their sticks outside as part of the, you know, to remember the players. And it's like, how about we take all the sticks and throw them in the fucking intersection where this apparently could happen in any moment? Because they're not doing anything to change the intersection as far as I know.

Yeah. Until they fucking fix the intersection. So this doesn't happen again. Like, like, like, a bus crash in bad weather, like that happened to the other Saskatchewan team back in the day. Like, it fucking sucks, but, like, you can understand how it can happen, like, bad roads. roads and all that shit, but like, just a regular intersection. You're just fucking driving through and, like, put a fucking light there. Yeah.

And slow the speed limit down there. Like, that's, like, that's, like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, like, broken brain. Like, like, my brain has, like, my, my, why the fuck did this happen? Yeah. Like, why, why, why can it still happen technically at any point? Because it's, like, it's, it's this known day, like, like, Mike Babcock instantly was like, yeah, everyone knows that intersection. Like, yeah, why don't we, why don't we throw up? Like, this is completely different, but, like, like, it's completely different, but, like,

I live in Hoboken. Yeah. Washington Street in Hoboken is the main street. Every fucking intersection is like life or death because like there's the lights don't work. There's no pedestrian lights. People just cross the street and they don't know what color. And like it's like, why does this exist? But like imagine that instead of walking where it's like a car can go 100 kilometers per hour.

Yeah. Like it's not. It's yeah. It just seems like it's so unbelievably avoidable in this situation. And it should be rectified already. It should have been rectified. Yeah. But it's a horrible story.

I mean, Mady. even more horrible about the news that came out yesterday about the misidentification of one of the bodies, which is something like as a parent, I can't even wrap my brain around how you even come back from that. I can't even get mad about that because like I can't imagine what it's like for a small town to get like 14 bodies into your morgue and you have to identify for it. I could see how I'm never Yeah, I'm not mad about it. I mean, it's something that happens. I mean, it's just you can't even conceive of how devastating that is for one family. Yeah. And unbelievably, like, emotional it is for the other family.

I don't know. It's a horrible tragedy. It's a horrible story. But it is one of those moments. Like when you realize that when there is a reason to rally that everybody can put petty bullshit aside and, you know, differences aside and just commit themselves to really honoring the memory of these players and making sure that their families are taken care of. And like the one kids are already like talking about playing sled hockey. I can't even imagine being that optimistic that immediately after it. So our thoughts go out to the families that were involved in this

and our thoughts go out to all the volunteers that descended upon that town to, you know, facilitate everything that's happened in the last week. And, you know, we'll keep our eyes on ways that we might be able to help down the line for the folks affected by this. Because it's, I mean, it's, it really knocks on your ass, you know, the story itself. And then it's one of those stories that obviously permeates beyond. the bubble of hockey too, you know, where the rest of the world took notice. Yeah, like, I forget what baseball team it was, but they, they had a moment of silence for it.

I forget which one it was. The jets and the Blackhawks wearing Broncos on the back of their jerseys, too. Yeah, that's a shame. But it's, you know, it's a reminder that as horrible and toxic as this dumb hockey world we all exist in can be, there are moments of true togetherness and beauty that can be born of great tragedy. Yeah, that's seven million bucks in like two days. Yeah. It's amazing.

So anyways. So that's why we held it to the end, because we're ending on a real somber note. Yeah, looking back, maybe we should notice at the top of the show. Why? And then it would have been, how do we come back from that? We don't. This is a good, this is a good coda. But now, like, people are going to stop listening, and then we, I think everyone's going

to be real sad now. We usually leave with, like, dick jokes. Yeah, so it's either have them sad at the beginning of the show, how them sad at the end. I mean, I assume that most people are sad when the podcast is over. They have to wait another week for another one. Well, actually, we probably did make them sad at the beginning by referencing T.J. Miller for like 10 minutes. That probably wasn't the best opening. I mean, in theory, yeah, probably not the best move to go ahead and do that.

Is he even in prison now? Is he even in prison or has he been bailed out? He's been arrested by the FBI, which is something. What a world. Yeah, isn't it, though? All because she was talking shit about the emoji movie from her seat really loudly. I'll fix her. he says as he calls in a bomb threat.

By the way, Silicon Valley hasn't been that funny. I fell asleep watching it. I'm caught up on billions, by the way. You still haven't jumped into Barry yet? Not yet. I had people, though, tell me that your opinion on Barry was fucking wrong, so I'm looking forward to seeing it. It's just, it's a dark comedy that's not really that dark, and it's not even really

that funny. I tried the third episode again, and I just, I'm probably going to end up watching the whole season now. All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. And thanks for allowing us. this somber moment at the end. I'm Greg Wachinsky from ESPN.

You can follow me on Twitter at Wachinsky. You can read my stuff. I'm going to be going to Boston for game one. So if you see me in Boston, please say hey. And I'm going to be there and back. Going there and back? Are you staying for the whole series? No, I'm going to be there for game one,

coming back for some family stuff on the weekend, then games three and four of the Devil series in Jersey. Oh. So I'll be there. Going to be there for the clinching game. That's pretty great. Here's Dave Lozo. Yeah, I do a lot of stuff.

of vice sports. I made a lot of jokes about all 16 teams. I figured out the key to predicting things is just you just say all 15 teams are not going to win the Stanley Cup or all 16 won't and then when 15 don't, you're 15 out of 16. It's great. I did a thing today where I interrogated Gart Snow, Pete cheerily, and

Yeah, it's funny. Who's the other guy? Mark Bergevan. Yeah. I re-read the Jessup thing I did. Man, boy, is that funny. That's really good. And yeah, I won't mention the other podcast. I mentioned it like six times already. I know that makes Greg upset. I have another podcast called ESPN and Ice. And that's it. We're done. We've got to go. We've got to get that. We'll be back next week for more

playoff fun and everything else. Probably the usual day unless something crazy happens. And thanks for listening, everybody. See you. Oh, lo, loo. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute.

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