Puck Soup - Patrik Elias

Episode Date: February 16, 2018

Greg and Dave sit down with New Jersey Devils legend Patrik Elias to discuss his number retirement, the joys and frustrations of playing the trap, and learning English by watching Rikki Lake. Plus, the boys debate the Winter Olympics, a Hockey News columnist's NHL boycott, the NY Islanders fans' anti-Garth Snow billboard, why hockey players lose lockouts, the TV doctors show scale, the Phaneuf trade and a review of Taco Bell's new Nacho Fries. Sponsored by SquareSpace and Seat Geek!

Hey, Dave. Hey, Greg. How's it going, buddy? It's going pretty good. Yeah. Things are, how about yourself? It's pretty good, I have to say. I enjoyed surfing the internet this morning.

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If it looks like a tripod site from 1997, no one's going to want to go. No matter how many text things you make blink. You've ruined the word tripod for me because now I think it's at Aon-Hara when you say the word tripod. There's nothing to install, patch for upgrade. ever, head to Squarespace.com for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code P-U-C-S-O-U-P, P-U-C-S-O-U-P, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Puck-Soup, the code, and Squarespace.com for the free trial and error.

On the show today, by the way, Patrick Elias from the New Jersey Devils, who was wearing a beautiful black and gray camouflage sweater and wearing smart guy glasses when we interviewed him. Wait, it was camouflage. makes that camouflage. It was a camouflage pattern. It was like a pattern of camouflage. It was like horizontal stripes, wasn't it? No, I thought it was a camouflage.

I thought he looked like the firefly from G.I. Joe with the nighttime camouflage, the gray and black camouflage. Your references get more and more septic farley in every day. My references get more old guy every day. This reminds me of an episode of Taxi. When Danny DeVito says to Christopher Lloyd, bleh. Hey, Lois. Remember that time we interviewed Patrick Aliosch? He was wearing a camouflage sweater.

Cut to Patrick Eliosh, jumping out of him. of a bush. Ah. Hi, I'm watching growing pains. That's an 80s thing, isn't it? You and Jimmy Fallon. You should write for a show. You probably got some 80s bits.

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And now enjoy the show. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, it's in tunes. your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. I'm Dave Lozo of mostly vice sports. I'm done. That's it. And I'm Greg Wysinski of ESPN, and you're in Puck Soup.

Yay. We have an audience. Of one. Yes. It's like an old garbage time episode. We just have like two people in the room that will just laugh at our jokes, so there's like a response. I hope that there's booing and cheering throughout the podcast as well.

Here's why the Rangers suck. Boo. Look, we're both really tired. We've been watching a lot of the Olympics. Beyond the hockey. Which, by the way, I realized I counted it up. I've had 45 minutes with sleep in the last four days because I've been watching all of the hockey. That's a lie.

Well, not all the hockey. It was actually great that the U.S. Canada women's game last night was on at 10. You know, what's funny is I still can't figure out what is. on what network. Yeah. Like, I'm like, oh, like, people will be tweeting like, oh, great shot and curling. And then, like, I rifle through all the channels and I can't find where they're watching it. People are watching it on digital because like, I remember what, are they even putting shit on like CNBC and USA Network? I've seen, I've seen some stuff on either CNBC or MSNBC, one of those two. But yeah, like NBC during the day is still like, you know, access Hollywood

and shows. My shark tank viewing at the gym has not been interrupted by the Olympics on CNBC. So I can tell you for a fact it's not been on there. I mean, here's the thing, though, You're right. It's like, okay, so the hockey basically that I've watched has been at 710 a.m. Eastern standard time. Are you actually get up for it? Yeah, I do. Did you watch it? I have to write about it.

So you had up for the Canada game this morning? I wouldn't say I got up for it, but I didn't watch it. And then it's also at like 10, 10 at night. That's 10 at night. It's fine. Yeah, remember when everybody was like, oh, these Olympics, nothing's on at the right times. I've watched more shit happen live. Well, hockey, though?

Well, Sean White. That's noon over there, right? Yeah, the figure skating. Like, there's been a lot of shit that's been happening, like, live to us. But if it's not at noon, anything beyond noon, we're kind of screwed by. But it's at, like, three. I just found it weird to be like, they're all like, oh, my God, you're going to have to brew a pot of coffee and watch these games. Really?

Because, like, it's just the hockey. It's like, at the same time, ER used to be on on NBC. It's like, nobody complained about it being late then. There's a reference. There's a reference. I was trying to think about what's on at 10 o'clock. That's like what St. Elsewhere would come on at 945 back in 1983. I was going to go like Gray's Anatomy, but I don't even think that's on at 10 o'clock.

What's on a 10 o'clock? Name three 10 o'clock shows on the networks right now. I couldn't name three shows on that one. Three shows at 10 o'clock? Is Dr. Autism on at 10? Or is that, I think that seems like an 8 o'clock show. What is Dr. Autism? There's a show called The Good Doctor.

It's a doctor, a surgeon who has autism. Oh, that's a doctor that throws the ice on the coma patient and wakes up the coma patient, isn't it? Was that what happened? Is that on Fox? No. You see, you're confusing Dr. Autism with Dr. Fux. Dr. Fux is on Fox. That's called The Resident.

Oh, he has a lot of sexual intercourse on the show. That's the show where the doctor's all fuck. And also, Christopher Pike from the Star Trek movie is a... How often did we reference Christopher Pike on this podcast? With a shaky hand. He has a shaky hand. And we don't know if he's going to kill someone or not. Oh, so he's like a doctor that's an expert surgeon, but he has a hand thing now.

There's a doctor's scale. On the one side... Who's doctor's scale? On the ones, I was going to say... There's a doctor scale, a doctor autism, and a doctor? I didn't want to say spectrum because we're talking about Dr. Autism. There's a doctor scale. No. Oh, you thought I actually...

No, there's not an actual doctor scale. Like he's weighing himself every episode? Okay, so there's a doctor's apostrophe scale. Oh, okay. On the one hand, you've got the doctors who fuck. And that's your grave's anatomy and your resident. Then you come to the middle and it's like respectable medical shows. Like, your ER, your Chicago Hope, you're sort of like soap opera-y show.

Well, okay. In between Doctors Who Fuck and Respectable Shows is Scrubs. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we are not going to disparage Scrubs. It's not, it's not a ranking. It's not a ranking. Here, I'm going to draw your diagram. There's drama there. J.D. and Elliot, you didn't know what was going to happen, Turk and Carla?

Dr. Cuck. Then we go over here. Scrubs. I bet Scrubs had more fucking than ER. Sure, but it's a comedy. I'm saying this is Doctors Who Fuck Drama. Doctors Who Fuck Comedy. Wait, Doctors Who Fucked Fuck Johnny Drama?

What show is that? I do not watch enough TV anymore. Whoa, baby, bro. I was in the ER and all of a sudden. Looks like Vince is doing the sex. I don't know what that would be. I don't know what that'd be in a doctor's thing. You know what would help you land more nurses?

It's tequila. A lot of entourage riffs lately. All right, so Doctors who fuck, then doctors who fuck drama, doctors who fuck sitcom, then you come over here to the middle, respectable doctor drama. Okay. That's your Chicago Hope and ER.

Respectable doctor drama. Then you come over here a little bit here. This is respectable doctor drama, but with weird shit. And that's house. House is there. Okay. And then at the other end of the spectrum here, oh, sorry, the scale, is Dr. Gimmickery, where it's like a doctor, but he's blank.

Oh, like he's Duggy Houser. He's like 15. He houses, Dr. Autism. That's where you are. So we go, doctors who fuck drama, doctors who fuck comedy. ER Chicago Hope respectable than House Extreme Medicine, then

it's a doctor but a horse kind of thing. I would watch that. Like a horse diagnosis, like I got to go to the vet. You don't have a pet. I know. He's actually a horse. Should we intubate? Nay. He never lets us intubate. It's the worst. The horse

is like doing CPR to revive somebody and he's like, you shouldn't beat a dead human. Dr. Clydesdale was the first in his class at Harvard Medical. Oh, God. Could you call it horse as a parody of house? You can be like, hey, I got a bad disc thing in my. Yeah, I get a bad hoof. You have a bad hoof.

You have like a thing with your disc, so you have to go see Dr. Backstretch. Well, he just walks into the operator room, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clung. What seems to be the problem here. those horses at medical school, they're all jockeying for physicians. Yeah, baby. This is a good hockey podcast. Oh, God damn. Okay.

So the Olympics. The Olympics. There's no horses there this year. I finally figured out what's bumming me out about him a little bit. And that would be... Is it Canada? It's that... I'm watching all the USA games. I watched our proud U.S. women play

valiantly in defeat against Canada. But the good news is that usually we lose in the prelims and then we win in the prelims and lose in the gold medal game. Exactly. We'll lose in the prelims this time and then win the gold medal. Like if we out shoot Canada 42 to 19 again, I feel good. Yeah, I mean, we, yeah. A little problem is that all three of Canada's goalies are really good.

So I think that all of them can do that. Is our goalie tiny? I feel like she's tiny. That second goal that got past her, that shitty short side blocker shot. Yeah. I feel like, I didn't realize like at that moment I was like, oh, she's like Mike Vernon sized. But maybe she's not.

I don't know. I can't tell anymore. I think the argument you're making is that we should see if Gal Gadot has American citizenship. Well, Gal Gadda would go in there and then like the game would be 45 minutes longer than it should be. Everyone would tell you the game is really good when it really is that. It would probably go to a shootout too because the ending will be very disappointing. At the ending you'd just be like, I don't understand why she's fighting that other guy. That guy doesn't make any sense.

He doesn't really matter at all in this story. I don't get it. So I found out that the impact the NHL not being there is having on me. is that the ancillary games that I might otherwise watch if they had NHL players on these teams, I don't give a shit about. Like a Swatia. Like a Sweden-Finland game with NHL players

is super competitive and super fun, and I'm probably going to stay up to watch it. A Sweden-Finland game, sans NHL players, is Bjork-Bjorn v. Yuri Mika Leitinson. It's all guys that sound like NHL players. It's like Louis Jerkson. It's Louis Jerkson.

It's Louis Jerkson and Lats Sundin. Yeah, and then obviously Joel Lungwist. Yeah, Joel Lungwist. So that's really impact for me as far as the NHL not being there. I don't really care about the other parts of the tournament, just Canada and the U.S. And Russia, I guess, too, although I didn't watch that game because it was up against our game. They lost, right? Yeah, they lost to Slovakia and we lost to Slovenia.

Except no one expects us to win anything, and Russia was one-to-one to win gold. So how do you feel like, as a Brian Gianton enthusiast, how do you feel like, as a Brian Gianton enthusiast, how do you feel like him taking a crucial penalty against a garbage team with no one HL players will help or hurt his chances of getting that contract I keep hearing about? I think he came up small. More like Brian, well, I never really put that together. Gianta is like giant with an extra letter in there and he's not tall. He's not tall. That's like an irony name.

It's an irony. Yes, it's an irony name. It's an irony name. Speaking of irony, I think that one, I think a good sign that you have irony poisoning from Twitter is that you're pumped to see Pacific Rim to. Like, what are you doing? There's Pacific Rim 1 sucked. It was a terrible movie. It didn't suck, but it made the classic mistake that movies cannot make, which is being bad.

Showing you another better movie within the movie that makes you want to see that movie. What was it? I think we talked about this before. The first 10 minutes, like the first 10 minutes of Watchmen are the best part of Watchmen, right? The montage and stuff. Well, yeah, the credits. Yeah, the credit scene. If the whole movie could have been a two-hour music video.

The first 10 minutes of Pacific Rim show you this world where, like, we are building giant sea walls to keep the monsters out. The Yeager program starts. Like, it's this whole kind of like encapsulation of how we got to this point before we meet giant bland Charlie Hunnam. Yeah, we got to stop putting that guy. Yeah, exactly. So, like, they showed us this better movie. And I'm like, where's that fucking movie? Like, if this was a prequel that did all that stuff, I would be there.

But it looks like a giant Power Rangers episode instead. So Pacific Rim 2 is like a prequel? No, Pacific Room 2 is definitely a sequel. John Boyega plays the son of Idris. Elba. Cancel the apocalypse. Elba.

The movie's... God, it was such a bad movie. Yeah, Charlie Day running around with monster parts all over his body. We got to make a movie with Charlie Hunnam, Joel Edgerton, and Olivia Wilde called Don't See This. No, you son of a bitch. Joel Edgerton's a good actor.

He's in a fucking shit ton of bad movies, though. Did you ever see the gift between... That's a really... That was the most overrated hunk of shit I've ever seen, where Jason Bateman's the Bulletin's the Bulletin's the Bull or whatever. Maybe you just don't like the product that Joel Edgerton is pitching you. Joel Edgerton is really bad

in black mass. He's been good in something. I know I've seen a movie. He was great in... Oh, he's good in the fight movie with the Tom Hardy fella. Right. But he's also good in the Star Wars prequals. He plays Owen Lars of untatooing. See, I don't know if that's sure or not. It is true. He's in the Star Wars preples?

He plays... Remember Luke's Uncle Owen and Aunt Baroo? He plays Uncle Owen as a younger Uncle Owen. uncle, fuck off. Does he really? That's him. He's got nothing to do in the movie. That's it? Like, there's a number of people that were in the prequels that had nothing to do but are super famous. He's in it. Kara Knightley was one of, one of Queen Amadala's like doubles when she was a kid in Phantom Menace. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? But Kara Knightley was like, she was like in her 20s at that point, wasn't she? No, she was still pretty young then. But you have to remember that. I was like, like, Beckham Times. Yeah, but she's from the same clone line as, as Natalie Portman and also Daisy Ridley. So she fit in a

that role perfectly. Oh, because they're just white, white women with brown hair. They all look the same. It's weird how that works out. Do they all look the same to you? What, Natalie Portman? Natalie, Portman, Daisy Ridley, and Karen Knightley all look the same to me. Like they're from a cloning project. We're going to create great actresses, but we're going to put these two in Britain to keep them away from this one in the group in the States. Like that new movie where, what's her name is like a Russian, like not, she's like the bad,

she's like the bad Russian version of Scarlett Johansson and the Marvel movies. Oh, oh, Jennifer Lawrence's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, a new one. Red Sparrow? Red Sparrow, yeah. Not Black Widow. Right. Red Sparrow. Like, there should be a movie where Red Sparrow fights Black Widow, like in a prequel before like, right. Holy shit. Wait, hold on. Delete this. We got to use that as a script. You got to write that that. But yeah, Joel Anderson's, he's a good actor. He just has, like, Olivia Wilde, but I just feel like, they're always in bad movies that I don't want to. Ollivuio. Olivia Wild. Who? Oh, what movie is this? Justin Timberlake. Like, oh, fuck.

I don't want to see this. What the fuck. Olivia. All right. So the Olympics are going on, but we would be remiss if we didn't talk about one of the most important things that's happened with relation to the Olympics curling, which is an editorial stance that I believe you applauded when we talked about it yesterday. It's genius.

Ken Campbell, our old friends from the hockey news. It's both stupid and genius at the same time. Penn the story called Why I'm boycotting the NHL during the Olympic hockey tournament. Ken Campbell has decided that he is boycotting the National Hockey League for 12 days. The league

that he is paid to cover. Because they did not go to the Olympics. And again, like, I think I said this on Twitter and I said it on the other podcast. I'll say it again. Please give me the Henrik Lungquist for Eric Carlson trade. It's the tree deadline. And then his editor's like, Sam McCake, my good friend

from Yahoo, comes over to Ken. He's like, Ken, we need your take on this Henrik Lunguxt for Eric Carlson trade. Nope. Now, boycott. Because the trade deadline is the 26th. Is that right? And when do the Olympics actually...

No, he's going to be... His boycott will be done before the trade deadline. But like, Dionne Finoff just got traded for Marion Gabbrick. That's a pretty... It's not a great trade, but it's a trade worth talking about. Starting at 12.01 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I'll be fucking imposing a fucking complete boycott of the fucking NHL until 1159 on Sunday, February 25th. The last day of the men's Olympic turn.

tournament. As such, I will not write one word about the NHL, either in our magazine or on our website. We didn't say anything about Twitter. But there's, there's like a, but he says like it's for Lent, right? Because there's definitely like a religious component in there. So like if your bosses were to challenge you on it, you can just be like, oh, freedom of religion. Is that right? Yeah. I think it's like a, I think it's like an Ash Wednesday and Lent thing. Another important date falls on Ash Wednesday. Oh, this is Ash Wednesday. Oh, he's talking about giving it up for Lent. So he says it's like giving up something for Lent. But you're saying that you could pass it off. religious freedom. That's what makes it so genius. Because you go to your, you think about it,

you go to your bosses and you say, hey, I'm not covering hockey for 12 days. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy,

you cover hockey for a living. Why are you not going to do it? The Bible. Yeah. All right. It's fine. Fine. Go do it.

We don't want any trouble. Go right about Slovenia, US and Canada, Sweden. I should really start trying to use some of those obscure holidays that take opposite side of the street parking rules. Yeah.

Like, it'll fitter. I have to, it'll fitter. But like, What is this going to do? Like, no one. Well, according to Ken,

I just don't get it. The NHL is free to conduct its fucking business the way it fucking fits. But the owners, it's the owners league and they have the right to opt out to shutting their businesses down for 17 days. I get that. But hockey consumers fucking have the rights of their own. They can vote with their feet or in this case, their TV remotes.

As a call to arms. But, but like, like, I feel like the attitude of most fans is it sucks. We're not at the Olympics. Right. But. it's still the NHL. Like, I'm still going to watch it.

Yeah. Like, what is not watching the Olympics or hockey for 12 days? I think the fatal flaw in his plan is that if you give up the NHL for 12 days, then you're basically giving up hockey for 12 days because you don't want to watch this Olympic nonsense. It's in off hours. It's not great hockey. God bless Voiteg Volski, man. But, like, I'm not going to get up at 7 in the morning to watch him destroy Switzerland.

Like, Rasmus Daly, and the only guy that you're going to stay up to watch got scratched in the first game. He didn't play? He got, yeah, he was a healthy scratch. Over who? Well, they do that. What is up in Sweden? They were scratching off of Ekman Larson at the last Olympics. That's what I was going to say.

They do that. Young, young defensemen get screwed by this. But that's the thing. Remember, they didn't actually scratch Ekman Larson. They dressed him for the semi-final game and kept them on the bench the entire time. Dude, we talk about this all the time. I was just saying this this morning. The best way to identify a bad coach is the coach that can't coach anyone under the age of like 23.

Right. Like, oh, we're struggling. What's wrong? I don't know. Shane Gossis bears a problem. Wait, what? Shane Gosses bears a problem? Is this, is this you trying to tell me?

Is this a Léigno lament? Oh, this is, I mean, the Lainvigno is the worst at it, man. Like, he had Tony DeAngelo up for like two weeks to start the season and it was like, you know, we need more of Steve Camper. Like, that's a problem. I'll say this about Ken's column.

You know, I give him a lot of shit, but I give him shit out of love because he keeps life interesting in a good way. Not in like a Steve Simmons. I'm just a fucking willfully ignorant. you're in asshole kind of way. Like, Ken at least does, puts the work in to do these hot takes. And I always appreciate that.

Like, you put, you know, and you can smell it because you put the work in when you do hot takes. What? I don't do hot takes. Okay, thank you. What hot takes. I appreciate this, the stunt. It kind of makes me, reminds me of, like, back when, like, the local sports columnist

in the newspaper would wear, like, a really loud jacket and be like, I'm not going to refer to them to the Giants until they win two games in a row from now. on, they're going to be the littles. It reminds you of that kind of like hokey stunt that... But at least that guy was still working. I like... I'm with you. Like, it's so dumb.

It's so dumb. But it's so good. I'm not jealous that I didn't think of it because I think I wouldn't have done it on principle. Also, I'm team NHL in this dispute. But like it punishes you though, because then you have to get up at weird hours and write about guys you don't care about.

But doesn't even say he's going to cover the Olympics? No, he's going to have to. I'm assuming the bosses were like, all right, fine, we'll do this. But you have to give us Canadian Olympic content. I'm going to give Ken Campbell, I will buy, I will buy him a fucking handle of whiskey. If it comes out that he's doing this before a predetermined vacation that he was going to take to like Maui for 12 days. Well, look, he comes back. He does like one, one trade deadline column and then bolts for like two weeks to like the Alps. He's like, I need a break.

We see Canada trade deadline. He's like, tan. He's wearing a lay. Like, wait, what? Oh, it's a boycott. Yeah. Didn't tell you where I was going to boycott it. There's nothing in the definition of boycott that says I got to do it from my apartment. I can do it from anywhere I want. That's the beauty of the boycott.

Like, did he write about the U.S. Canada women's game last night or no? I don't know. Like, there's no, like, oh, I thought you were looking at his, his violent. Oh, man, I hope that's it. Click on his, click on his, on his, is, uh, deal at the top of the thing there. And Campbell, clicking on the link. Like, there has to be a U.S. Canada call from him, right? There has to be.

Um, come on. Come on, Ken. Team USA enters men's Olympic tournament with late Johansson on their mind. And then there's a story about the lightning that I guess was written before the boycott went to effect. So he's done some stuff.

Yeah. Okay. I, I, it's a goofy, wacky radio stunt and a goofy wacky, loudjacket, local column this stunt. And I think we, we had to, you know, it's like platoon, how like I was born of two fathers,

Elias and that other wacko. Sports journalism, hot takes, and hockey this week were born of two fathers. Kindly old Ken Campbell with a silly radio stunt and Steve Simmons saying that mixed curling isn't a sport for reasons. Like, give me the Ken Campbell thing five billion times before that idiocy, right? Steve Simmons is just, again, I'm somebody who's just enjoying curling because there's no real hockey to watch for me outside of like the U.S. Canada round Robin and the U.S. Canada gold medal game that will. eventually happen. But like I don't, as someone who's just kind of parachuting in, like, why, why is a boy and a girl playing curling together worse than like four boys or four girls playing? What's the, what's the problem? And why are we saying that they, they did, he made it seem like

these guys spent a half an hour together like they were speed dating or something and then all of a sudden showed up the Olympics as a team. Yeah, they've been curled. Now one, you've been curling since the fucking Clinton administration. The bad boy of curling. The bad boy of curling. The bad boys. Remember, There was that one skater Christopher Bowman that came in the Olympics that one time and he was like a dude who had like a mullet or whatever and he was like the bad boy of figure skating. Dude, the bad boys of Winter Olympics are the best.

Sean White's a bad boy. The bad boy of cross-country skiing. When he shoots his rifle, he twirls it first and then shoots it. What Olympic sport do you feel are you surprised we're not better at? How do you practice that? You're just like, hey, like if you want to practice curling,

you go down to your local curling club and just throw some stones. You want to practice skiing, you go to the slope. You got, like, where are you cross-country skiing uphill for, like, two miles, then firing a gun? Yeah, Europe, like, where do you do it? Like, I feel like, we're talking about this this morning when we're watching the Luge. Like, I feel like, why are the European countries so good at the Luge? I feel like, like if you ask Katie Couric, they would tell you that they use the Luge to get from their house to their office. Is that like how all the people in the Netherlands use speed skating to get from their house down the canal to their jobs?

Hop on the body of water that's frozen and get to work. Yeah. Well, what it is, I just think our best athletes play baseball basketball, football while other country's best athletes play soccer and then it's like Olympic sports. So that's how we wind up with like German pairs champions. That's how we wind up with like I don't get why we're not better at curling though. We seem to really not be as good at curling as we should be. We have northern states that have ice that have curling clubs. We have Minnesota. We can we can probably pull a gold medalist out of Minnesota. But no, Canada's just Canada's got too much ice man.

We can't compete. Um, I don't know. I feel like I feel like we're good in the sports that we're supposed to be good in is how I feel. And we're kicking ass and snowboarding. Well, yeah. Like, again, like Steve Simmons is like, oh, mixed curling is a made-up thing. Like, we kind of made up snowboarding for ourselves.

Like, no one else was really, like the X games. It was kind of like our thing in the 90s. And then we were like, what if the X games but the Olympics? And then it's like, oh, snowboarding. We got all these gold medals and snowboarding. I don't know. I don't care. I don't watch the snowboard. Anything, pretty much I watch the hockey. I watch the curling. I put on the figure skating for jokes.

Oh, come on. You love it. I don't get it. Well, I think the problem is that you haven't watched it enough. But you know what? If figure skating came to your town, I know the perfect way to get tickets for it. I would love to know because I really

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That's promo code soup for $20 off your first Seekek purchase. And thanks again to everybody who sends us their pictures from the games to show that they were in fact there based on the Puck Soup discount on Seekkeek. So thanks for all that. Joining us now this week as a guest is something that's really cool. Now, we tallied it up. Something. The interview is something.

Not the person we talked to. We tallied it up and we've now, we've only done two. interviews previously with hockey players. Previously, right? Previously. So one was Bridge Gowloff for that horrible interview that I did in Nashville where I'm like... Putin, that's so bad. But what about Crimea?

What about Crimea? You don't know nothing about it. Here, let me tell me, let me talk Crimea for 20 minutes. You don't have any notes, so I would dominate the conversation. So that was one. And then the other one was that awesome McDavid interview that we did, where we got, talking about meeting weirdos in the airports and video games. and all kinds of stuff.

I wasn't there for that one. I mean, awesome in the sense that, like, it's as good as you're going to get from Connor. We never, well, you never asked him any friends questions. No.

He's a self-proclaimed friends genius. And I feel like it's all talk. We'll get, we'll get Connor McDavid part due, the return of Connor McDavid. Since we're into recycling guests now with, with, like,

and Wilder everything. We'll get Connor back on at some point. Eliash, Eliash was really good. Oh, he didn't introduce. I never actually said who we were talking to. Patrick Elias. Oh,

former New Jersey Devil. It went on for a while. Getting is a number retired by the Devils. Next week? Yeah. He joined us for a chat at Prudential Center this week. What are you going to say about earlier? I was going to say he's retired, so he's not your typical player where he's just kind of being, you know, evasive and stuff.

He had really good answers about, I would say pretty much everything we asked him. He was a little evasive about Lou. I felt like he had some Lou stories, but he told a couple of good Lou stories about him coaching and interacting with him. And yeah, I thought he was. I thought he was fantastic. It's great. He's retired. He's happy.

The thing that I will take from the interview that I will never forget is asking him about what he wants to do next and what he's enjoying most about retirement. And his eyes would just light up. And he just said, my free time. Yeah. Oh, boy. He's so happy about his free time. And you can just tell.

He's just content in retirement. Okay. Best of number game, devil's roster. The sweater number is 26. Mm-hmm. We know that Patrick Eliasch is the best number, 26 of all time. which would these players would be the second best

in devil's history okay for their term as a devil not overall okay uh rocky trotier

mike kitchen Andy Brickley Alan Stewart Tommy Albilline Peter Stasney Jason Smith Christopholivov Valdivar

see it's Tommy Albaleen but he was 26 temporarily yeah he was only 26 for one season yeah he was six mostly so I don't know so he doesn't that I would say it by default

Stasney because, yeah, Abilene's best stuff was under another number. Oh, I thought Stasney was 25. He was 26? Oh, I thought he was 25. No, you made that joke yesterday, remember? And then I thought, and then I thought I fucked it up because I was like, I thought he was 25. Once in future Puck Soup guest, Ardo O'Call was wearing what he said was a Patrick

Eliash, NHL, like, 94-style T-shirt. Yeah, the star. A star in his whole pixelated in Losos. I was like, that's a Peter Stasney T-Syship. Because it has Aliash's a same. center. I don't know if he was ever a center in the game at that point. They tried to make him a center for a little bit. But I don't think he was ever a center in like NHL 97 or anything or an HL 98.

No. I don't know. All right. You're going to love this interview and we'll be back right after this. Let's get to it because you have a limit. You're wearing the ring and that's so great. Do you have two though? Which one do you choose?

Depends what I wear. This one is like probably a second time I have this since we got it. Yeah. That's cool. Where do you keep them? Lock and key? Safe. Safe.

You wouldn't know my code? I don't trust safes. I feel like when I go to a hotel and I put my passport in a safe, I feel like someone's just going to take the safe. Probably. They're very small. It's like 26, 26, right? Come on, you know what? Let me ask you about when you were a player, did you like being in games where there was a number, retired or a banner raising?

Were you on the bench seeing this is a beautiful mom? moment or you're just like, I wish this would stop so I can play the hockey game? No, I enjoyed it. Yeah. I enjoyed a moment. It's special for those guys, obviously. At least you see how special it is for the individuals that are being honored and their families and their fans. And you kind of admire that.

I don't hope maybe that will happen to you, maybe at some point. What do you miss most so far in retirement? No, for nothing. Really? No, nothing? No, not a lot of good. You were just getting to come back at the very end there. You wanted to come back and play some more.

Yeah. There's no part of that. Yeah, but I made the right decision not to. Yeah. I was ready. I still probably pick up hockey, you know, twice a week with the retired guys back at home in Czech in Prague. And I enjoy that. And that's about it.

I cannot even think of being in a competitive league. Like the everyday grind. You don't know this. No. I got time to, you know, to hang with kids and family. travel a bit and do skiing and stuff like that. I remember talking to Lidsstrom about that, about like as you get older, you know,

the amount of time you have to put in to get your body in an HL shape increases. And Lidstrom was a machine, right? I mean, he's a different kind of guy, but was there a point where you were just like, I don't know if I need to get back on the horse for this for this anymore as far as trying to train for coming back and stuff? Well, the physical grind for me was kind of enjoyable, actually,

to get in shape. It hurt more to play and get in shape. But the preparation and to get in shape, I enjoyed it. Actually, even when I was coming back after knee surgery last year, I enjoyed coming here three times a weekend, just getting on the ice and then do the stuff, you know, being around and all that. But I didn't want to do it seven times plus, you know, a week. But, yeah, so I, to me, it was more just that knee issue that I had.

that kind of kept me away. Otherwise, if I was healthy, I would probably play. What about that year, though? What if there was a playoff run that year? Was there any chance? Not really. No. It wouldn't be fair to those guys, you know, that played the whole season,

and I don't know if I would be helpful. Yeah. Our good friend Sarah Baker was mentioning to us that you helped learn English by watching the Ricky Lake show. Is that true or false? True. True plus Jenny Jones. because they were one after another. So it's like after get down practice, come home, football.

Relax. I'll have lunch, relax. And I think it was from one to three or two to four. Rickalake and Jenny Jones. So you learned those words like skank, custody. I got those important words down pretty quickly. That was your exposure to America. It was talk shows.

I didn't know any better. I didn't know what it was. Obviously, I didn't know. I didn't understand it. you know that the whole concept of the talk show enough to know you know how bad of a show I was watching but to me it was easy because they were repeating the same kind of a lot of the words you know one after another and most of the time

so that it was easy for me to remember those but like you said I mean like your first exposure to Americans is that we all cheat on each other and we know we don't we have no idea who our parents are that's Jerry Springer's You'll come to the rink and talk to the guys You're like, hey man, you see this guy on TV He's got two girlfriends and two Is that normal here? Hey, I love it

What was it like when you were a rook? Because you came from Cladno to Albany, right? First, I think was. Yeah, I was in Albany for almost the whole two seasons. Was it culture shock? Or was it sort of the same deal that's going on back in the Czech Republic? It was way better. No, it was

Hockey-wise, I knew what I was trying to get into. I knew what the North American style of hockey, what it's about. I played with a junior national team against some of the Canadian teams, internaments, et cetera. And I like playing on a small eye, so I know it's different. But culturally, the way they took care of me, I didn't speak, like I said, I didn't speak any English.

So it wasn't probably easy to have me on the team. Was there another Czech guy on the team at that point? No, I was by myself. Oh, wow. Christopher Hollywood was, which he was from Poland. Oh, the Polish hammer. Yeah, the Polish hammer and the Polish motech. Exactly, the Polish hammer, but he helped me actually a lot because the Polish language was quite close to ours.

So if I didn't understand something, he kind of said it in his language, which I translated to mine. But it pushed me to learn English quicker. And I had a great support of, you know, those guys that played. already Brian Helmer and, you know, all the guys and Stevie Sullivan, Scott Palarin, and the coaching staff, Robbie Fittorik was my coach there, and he was amazing, and the trainers. Everybody just, you know, I had no idea what I have to do to get a social security bank account, you know, driver-lice and everything. And they went with me.

I was like a little kid, so they took care of me and helped me all unbelievably. Just to be clear, Robbie Fetorick never threw a bench at you at any point during your time. Not at me. I thought it was great. It was amazing. He backed up his players, you know, and it was a dirty, dirty, dirty hit on, it was Jay Pendolpho. Yeah, Panofo, yeah. I love the emotions.

Yeah. It's part of it. And if the coach has it, it's awesome. When did you get comfortable with English in terms of, like, doing stuff like this? Because I know Ardineas him off for a long time, never wanted to be on camera because he wasn't comfortable. But now he is. Like, was it right when you got to Jersey? Or was it a little longer?

No, it took a couple of years. Obviously, with the language, probably within two years, I started kind of getting comfortable but I can speak and I was making mistakes obviously and been here long enough obviously then with the TV I was okay and I was actually better speaking English in front of camera or three reports than in Czech language for some reason I was very shy in Czech language because it's my obviously birth to language and people expect you to speak well or in English I kind of knew I learned the right way to talk but to be honest

the most I got comfortable was when I met my wife she was a TV person and back at home so she kind of kind of helped me give me some pointers and how to speak how to imagine when you're speaking to crowd and stuff on that you're professional coaching the whole time not the whole time just a little bit we're a explicit language podcast so I can ask this question did you know fuck before you came to the States or did you learn the word fuck while you're playing in the

I think that's the only word I know. My first training camp, I was in a room with Rob Patterson, American guy, and all I probably could say everything, my answer was probably fucking because all I knew was I am, you are, he is, she, and all that stuff, but

once somebody started talking to me I threw it out of there, yes, it's no. And trust me in my first couple years, About 80% of the time I had no idea what they were talking about. It's universal language. So you come up to the Devils in the 90s.

I always wanted to ask you this because you are an outstanding offensive player, an outstandingly gifted offensive player. You put up incredible numbers, obviously franchise leader in all these categories. I remember talking to Scott Niedermeyer once about playing for the Devils in that era. And the question about Nieder was always like, well, you know, if he was somewhere else, we see him as Paul Coffey. or like one of these guys that it's like, you know, a bork or someone like,

you know, would his point totals be exponentially higher than they are in your career? And I was wondering that about you. Did you ever feel when you were playing here? And, I mean, obviously the success makes it a little bit easier to deal with. But were you ever looking, casting at I at Detroit or casting at I at Colorado and saying,

God damn, if I was on that line. What did he either say? I mean, he kind of somewhat agreed. But at the end of the day, I think you guys all bought in because you're winning. Exactly. And you hit it perfectly. We probably, you know, some offensive guys want to play offensive hockey,

and it wasn't always that way here. And neither is one of them, especially, you know, I play with him and had a chance to practice with him. And it's amazing the talent he had what he was capable of doing without sweating. Yeah. And he changed the game. You know, he was like a fourth forward, you know, when he played with us. and it was so much easier.

And I bet if he played probably on different teams, different maybe coaches with different styles, for a longer period of time, he probably would have different numbers. And I think that goes for all of us, the offensive styles. But you cannot argue with that because we were in the playoffs pretty much my first 10 years of my career, and you always had a chance to win.

And you learn that it's not always about it. with you which you prefer obviously and what you want to play and you kind of there's a strength in the system and

we had that and that's why we were successful so having said that with your numbers maybe your numbers are still really impressive but you sacrifice some for winning have you thought about the Hall of Fame at all? I'm just getting asked because of this obviously because think about it you lost a full season to a lockout

when you're in your prime you lost the other half a season and you had the hepatitis A situation So you take those away, I mean, you have 500 goals. You're a lot. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe not. Two seasons?

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, you're probably like a 902, yeah. But I don't know. It's, you know, you have different guys going into the Hoggle Hall of Fame that, you know, the community feels that should be there. And sometimes there are guys that we feel like should be there and they're not for some reason. So who knows what goes behind the decision. They have to like you. It's a bunch of old white guys that have to.

to like you. You have to be Canadian. That's why I went there for the exhibition game this year for the Hockey Hall of Fame. It makes a taste of it. Well, like Lindrauss had to become like head of the NHLPA before they let in there. Like, yeah, you got to do a lot of glad-handing, I think. But I loved it, actually. It was a great thing that I got invited for this because for me, I knew about some of those guys that were there during that week, you know, that played in the NHL, they're a position now within the league and for the NHL.

And then to be with them, it's just like, you know, again, part of the team in the locker, just absolutely normal people and you're having fun with them. And I loved it. How serious was the hepatitis A situation? Was it ever really? It was. Like, was there a chance you could have died during that time? Well, that's what the doctor said to my wife, not to me.

Oh, gosh. It's like, you know, obviously the third day when I was, I got. sick and I was already almost two weeks in Russia with being sick and after that I flew back to home and my liver was still giving up and still not functioning and they tried couple treatments didn't work first day they didn't try another treatment didn't work second date and they said there's only a chance other chance to use a steroid treatment or dialysis obviously or something after that and if that happens then there's no chance that he can't play anymore.

So it wasn't really life-threatening. It was more career-threatening than... Well, it was both because then he said that a month before I was there, it was a kid that was about 10 years younger than me and had half the amounts of the blood test, and he didn't make it. So it's like, you know, by far you broke a record with the negative things, with the numbers of the liver enzymes, et cetera, and showing how bad condition. the liver is. But I didn't, I knew I was bad, I felt bad, but I didn't think about not that I'm able

to play, that I won't get healthy. It's just, uh, how did that change your mindset on life? I mean, going through something like that. Yeah. It sure did. You know, when you take one month in hospital and after that, you're not even, as a professional athlete, I felt like I was in the best shape of my career prior to that. And it might have helped me actually to get over the, the because I was 28, I believe, maybe at that time. And I was, like, working out hard because of the lockout. I kept myself in shape more than usually during the season here because I was playing back in Europe and there's not too many games.

So I kind of did all the extra work outside of the rink. And I really did was in shape. And I think that helped me to get over the sickness and eventually get back to hockey. Wow. What was it like working under Lou? Tell us a Lou story. Tell us a Lou's story. I don't know. I see you have some facial hair. Do you feel free to grow it now?

Was he scary? Was he scary? Facial, yeah, quite a bit. A little bit, quite a bit. Sometimes. You didn't want to have him stare at you, you know, for longer than 10 seconds. Oh, it hurts. He must have loved you, though. You're a two-way player. There were good times. There were bad times. If you didn't perform, if you didn't do things right,

there were years when I wasn't happy with situation, ice times, et cetera, and I wasn't happy maybe that he didn't back me up at some point in those situations. He wasn't happy with me still kind of worrying about what I was supposed to do, and that's playing hockey. So it's normal. It's a normal relationship, up and down. and it was very hard, very tough on everyone, very strict.

And again, it comes to how do you argue with that when you do have the chance to be in a playoffs on a yearly basis and winning the cup a couple of times and all that. When you say he didn't have your back, do you mean in the sense that you're there for X number of years, in theory, my GM should have my back in the situation being that I've been here as long as I have been? Yeah, well, that goes only for that one situation.

When we always back up coaches because they were the people that are hired. And, you know, they work for him. And we were supposed to just do our job as a player, you know, what the coach says, et cetera, which is true. But I wanted to be true to myself as a player. And I didn't like the way I was used and the way I was treated. And there was one year, obviously, when the captaincy was taken away for me, which is totally fine.

I said it was totally fine, but that's just the way it happened that was taken from me, and I didn't feel like it was the right way to do it without not mean, without them telling me anything and coach and maybe even Lou. How did you find out? Through media. Oh, God. And that was not easy. We apologize on behalf of the media.

No, they just asked me what I feel, you know, what I think about it, and I'm like, I don't even know. So that's kind of like. Yeah, that's not great. Yeah. coaches when they do have the ability to communicate with you or the right way and not everybody has that who is your favorite coach like who did you feel who do you feel had the best influence in your career or who did you like playing for the most here at the beginning robif to rec yeah yeah because

i had him in albany my first year um then uh when i make it when i made it to to jersey he was the head coach here yeah so he really gave me the biggest confidence and biggest boost in my career to start thinking about myself on a different level and played me you know with put us with Jason and Sikora the best line I've ever played on and we had so much fun so him then Larry took over

and Larry was just fun yeah right players coach players coach yeah we love playing for him all of us and later on you go through some good coaches

bad coaches was little good coach he actually was way He was different than the GM. He was, you know, from GM, he was very kind of strict, you know, can talk to him and, you know, like very demanding, very, just being loo. But behind the band, he was trying to be positive, you know,

talking to you, hey, keep your head up, you know, be positive. And you're like, who is this guy? Seriously, so maybe it would be a better coach, you know, we would have a better relationship if it was a coach. But, no, it was great to see it. And all of a sudden, I loved it because it gives you a different, perspective on him as a person I guess. Did you know Jason Arnaut

was there? Did you know he was there on that pass? I did. Yeah, absolutely. Not absolutely, but I knew that. He was in the area. He was there. It was a perfect pass. Sometimes, well, sometimes it happens. What was the more raucous celebration,

2003 or 2000 for the Cup? The 2000. Yeah. You guys were younger. We were younger and we had a better, We had the way we played, it was just a better environment, better team, more talented team, not a bad, more talented team, and we just had so much fun. It's just worked out. People always think about the devil's a certain way, but that 2000, there was a fuck ton of talent

he scored. He scored a lot of goals at here. But the league and goals that year, I think, as a team, right? Last those two years, both years, we went through finals. The second year, we lost, obviously game seven. But, yeah, we had done really talented players, really. Yeah. Scottian, and Miramar, speaking of him, he played on a second power play, okay?

So that tells you something. Alex Mogherne played second power play. Right. You know, we had Gomer there, and it was just unreal the talent we had. Is 2001 still buggy, six and seven against Colorado? Doug to me. I wish, but, you know, I wish we would pull it off. Because Lou always says, I've heard Lou said that he regrets letting you guys go home

as opposed to not stay in a hotel when you guys came back for six. Did you feel like I don't know Did you see how we played the first period It was 15 to 2 shots And we won nothing So I don't think had anything to do with us being home Honestly

That was a loose thing I was still it's not Yeah it's just You're trying to find something We all know what happened The NHL fixed it so boring We gotta wrap up with you But I wanted to ask you one thing

You can ask something too Because he's many questions Can you Can you watch hockey as a fan now I love it But I think my question is like, when a director watches a movie, like that's not his movie or her movie, they're looking at the screen and you're like, okay, I'm looking at this as a professional. I'm breaking down the scenes. I'm seeing what the actors are doing, what I would have done. Can you appreciate a hockey game as a visceral fan experience? Or does your hockey brain always be like, well, this guy took the wrong route to the pocket or something like that? Both. Both. Yeah. Because, you know, even when I, I got to tell you, I don't watch. too many whole games because of the time change.

Right. You know, all live games, unless there in the afternoon. But my routine is in the morning, I make breakfast or something, and I watch the highlights of all the games that were just played the night before. So I love watching it. So I kind of just see the good things. The cadence version, yeah. So I'm like, whoa, it's unbelievable.

What a game again. But when you do, when you watch the whole game or when I come watch, for example, back in Czech, I come watch some of the national team or the league there. And you're like, geez, you know, how could he make that? like this is like just keep your help you got plenty of time and kind of you do you know and then you're like wow this kid you know just made it that was nice i was he's you know he moves right way or he made right pass you know or something like he thinks the game right so you kind of watch it as a fan but at the same time you kind of more detail in it do you want to coach you ever thought about that uh thought

about it was to ask about it and not yet no not yet what's what's holding you back you feel like you just not ready to do it or you just don't want to do it my free time yeah just having too much fun doing everything else i guess my last question is if you know this you can tell us no one's going to hear yeah it's just amongst friends yeah sarah sarah's cool she won't tell anybody is there going to be another lockout oh why when like 2021 is that is that what it's supposed to happen when the cba stops again like do you get the you get the vibe that i don't get any vibes anymore no vibes anyone i guess the bigger question is how did you feel about the uh n-hl not going on olympics is here well now that i'm a fan

I'm not a big fan of I understand the decision But I'm not a big fan of the decision Because I wanted to see the best players play Yeah It's such a special event For not just going there to compete in hockey In that sports, in their own sport

But to experience the Olympic spirit And everything that goes with it As an American Having watched us against Slovenia this morning I'm not a fan either I just heard the result Are you kidding me? As an American me too

Oh, yeah, that's right. Are you kidding? I guess that's the last question. You became a naturalized citizen. What was the decision there to do that? I want to pay higher taxes. No. Shitty health care, higher taxes.

Let's go. USA. Absolutely. And you're in Jersey, I mean, for God's sake. Yeah, no. Both of my girls are born here in the States. They're American. They have both citizenship.

I was allowed to have both citizenship, so I have Czech citizenship and American citizenship. And it's good to have options. no matter what's going on in the world. Was it test tough? The test wasn't, well, the test was tough and actually was great because I learned so much about the history, American history, honestly. A lot of things I don't know. Yeah, I actually studied quite a big.

And I remember Mari Brodor when he went through his, like, I don't worry about it. Like, they didn't even ask me. I'm like, ooh, I don't know. And so me and my wife, we were studying the whole plane ride here the next day. And we were, you know, and I knew it. I knew all the hundred questions, kind of. I got it down. And so did she?

So we got six out of the six first question, so that was fine. But they didn't almost give it to me. So I was there for eight hours and they almost didn't happen. Eight hours. Holy shit. It was not a good experience, but I'm glad we went through it and it worked out. Awesome. Wow.

One goal to win a game. Marty or Dominator. What are you picking? Well, I never scored on Dominic. I scored on Marty in a practice. But I'll say Marty. All right. Good answer.

Patrick Geliash. you are great. Congratulations on your number being raised to the rafters of this beautiful building. Thank you so much. Thank you, sir. Our special thanks to the Devils for hooking us up with Patrick Eliash, and maybe we'll do more interviews with retired players. Tired players are where it's at. Yeah. I think he thinks there's going to be a lock. Actually, you know what? The lockout question, I feel like he doesn't care. I feel like he really doesn't care. I'm glad you brought that up. I want to talk about that real quick about, I was talking about, I was talking about, I was talking about, about that and then with somebody the other day and about, was it,

I don't think it was a for our bonus episode. I think it was just some of the conversation. I don't know. Say what you were going to say. Well, I'm going to say that I was there. The difference between the NHL and everybody else when it comes to work stoppages is that you're dealing with a massive amount of players,

unlike the NBA, for example. There's obviously more hockey players than there are NBA players. So the NBA gets their labor piece. But, I mean, you also have a lot of players in football and baseball, in baseball, too. Well, NBA played out.

half a season like 10 years ago too. Yep, but I think the thing about hockey that makes it really unique is twofold. One, the players have abs so fucking looting no leg to stand on. They've got no leverage. They've got nothing. The owners have every bit of leverage in these labor negotiations. Why don't they have leverage? Well, I think that feeds into my second point, which is that for whatever reason.

Okay, I know the reason. You just figured it. Yeah, I just figured to me. Like, the lifespan. of an NFL player, if you're not Tom Brady and you're eating stem cells, is pretty short. It's like three years. Right. The NHL is the second most physical sport, but has guys that play a long time.

Yeah, but it's still not that long for the average player. Right, but here's the thing. They play for a long time. They make a lot of money. They're star players, what have you. So you have a caste system in these labor negotiations. The guys that are 35 and over, like Eliash, they don't give a shit. They don't give a shit about anybody between like 22 and 33.

Right. 28 to 34, they kind of care. They got another contractor two to make. They're getting paychecks. They don't want escrow getting them, you know. But their priorities are very much for themselves. Everyone is. Everyone is.

They're not for 20, let's say, 25 to 17. Remember how mad everybody was at Jimmy V.C. for exercising his. negotiated right to do what he wanted. So you've got this massive amount of guys that don't care. You've got this massive amount of guys that care about themselves and their peer group. And then you've got a massive amount of younger players that really would love there to be unrestricted free agency at 23 or 24. But no one's going to go to bat for them because they're not as important as the 27 to 34s who are the biggest stars in the league usually when we come to these CBA negotiations.

Now, maybe it swings a different way when you've got younger guys like Connor and Austin that are still going to be young when the CBA comes up. I mean, I think if it's like 2020. But they're going to have their gigantic. Yeah, they're going to have their contracts. And maybe it's more of a contractual thing. But that's why I think the NHL always gets these pickles is because the players don't have any leverage. And if they were ever to try to create leverage for themselves, there's zero chance they're all getting on the same page. There's just too wide of a swath of different experience levels and different financial wants to get a,

everybody to find solidarity. You're always going to find some group that's going to break. So what you're saying is that the people in power are keeping the people with less power fighting amongst each other and distracting them with money, therefore not uniting and becoming a united front against the powerful. What country has that problem right now or they can't get anything done? The best country. Thanks, Sean.

Trail mix for all. What was that, President Leahy? We're going to give trail mix to all the poor people. Thanks. President Leahy. Down with global warming. Up with global cooling. I want to keep every state at a crisp 68%.

68 degrees Fahrenheit, rather. 68%? 68% Fahrenheit? Is that like a, that's not a Canadian. The shitty sequel to Fahrenheit 471. 68%. By the way, bull fucking shit that you get to do the 69 Star Wars Minute and I don't. Oh, wouldn't that great?

What, what, what, what fucking Pete? What are you doing? Have you ever been on the Star Wars Minute? No, no. And I'm not saying, like, I'm desperate to, but, like, if they're going to give out the 69th minutes, either you or me, uh, hello. I'm trying to position myself as, like, the, uh, like the, the Charles Nelson Riley of, of, uh, of, of minute podcasts where I just do every minute podcast. Why, you wear those big glasses all the time now? Because you're just trying to.

Star Wars, man. Oh, I, uh, so I've done the Star Wars Minute. I did the burnt thing, which wasn't a minute podcast, but was sort of like a bad movie podcast. I have done the DC movies podcast where I did Batman v. Superman Cole and Donna Justice. I'm on deck to do the Titanic podcast. And then I might do a Buccaro Bonzai one too. So if you've got a minute podcast, you want me to appear on it. I will appear on your minute podcast.

I will only do, I will only do minute 69's. That's it. The fact that Greg Wasinski was given minute 69 by a guest of this podcast over me will be a crime that will not be forgotten. If you're doing The Hobbit Desolation of Smog podcast And you're on minute, what would it be? 574

I'll come do your podcast. Not me though. No. Is that how you say it? Smog? I don't care. I thought it was smog. That was a big plot line.

Did you watch the HBO show the six episode thing with Sharon Stone? What that was the name of it? Oh, no, I haven't watched that yet. Mosaic? Mosaic, yeah. The Soderberg was the one. Boy, I hated the ending.

Don't tell you the ending. It wasn't bad. I just hated it. I'm not good with HBO limited series because I also didn't watch the night out but I also know the ending of that unfortunately already. Just watch the first hour and a half for the night of and then turn it off. Mosaic is good.

Do you watch high maintenance by the way? I tried to get into it. It's not a laugh out loud, funny show. It's more like a character study, but I got, remember how they used to talk about, like, Seinfeld and be like, does anybody outside in New York really like Seinfeld? They get the humor? Do you have to be from New York

to get the New York humor in Seinfeld? If anybody in the Pucksoove audience watches high maintenance and you don't live in New York or have lived in New York, please tell me how you enjoy the show because it is so fucking specific. Yeah. Like, the entire last episode I watched was about this couple who gets a low rent apartment inside of a luxury building and they're not allowed to use the amenities. And it's all about like apartment and townhouse hunting in New York.

And I'm like, this is really entertaining. What is the show about? It's about a bike, a guy who sells weed on, but he, uses a bike to get from place to place. So it's like, it's an anthology. But like it's not really about him. No, it's an anthology. It's about meeting different characters each week. Like I, one episode I watched, it was like an old Asian couple. You ever see that one? I don't remember. And like their son or daughter is like dating someone who's like a musician and they're moving away because the musician person has like a job on like the other coast.

And I had it on for like 15 minutes and I'm like, what, nothing happened. It was just, I'm watching it. And I'm like, nobody was high. Nobody was like, there was no set. Rogan like, oh, oh, drugs. Like, I don't know what was going on.

I'm like, this isn't really anything. I have to admit, the first time I saw it, like, I saw the goofy dude with the beard and I'm like, oh, this is amazing. This is going to be like,

you know, if Seth Rogan was a bike messenger in New York, but he's selling weed on the side. That's what I really thought it was going to be. Oh, God, a fucking truck hit me. Oh,

I need some brownies. You know? There's none of that. It's just like, oh, you want to buy some weed? Yeah. Yeah, thanks. I'll buy some weed.

It's a good show, but if anybody watches it outside of New York, let me know if you dig it, because I honestly like, it's so specific to New York that I can't imagine that people like it. But if you do like it, and you want to extol the virtues of high maintenance or mosaic or divorce or crashing or any show on HBO, you might want to do something like, oh, I don't know, build a fan site. And honestly, if you wanted to do that, there's only one place to go.

Where's that? Square space. It's a space. That's a square. If you listen to podcasts, you've probably heard about Squarespace. You're about to hear about it again because support for today's show comes from Squarespace. If you want to start a new business, you can make it stand out with Squarespace. You can, with beautiful templates build world-class websites by world-class designers,

Squarespace makes it easier to turn your new idea into a new and unique website. You could showcase your work. You could blog, you can publish content, even sell products and services of all kinds in just a few clicks. If you had a t-shirt, because you like the HBO shows, it says, I'm an HB bro. Say, mosaic, sick. Yeah. Because it's sick, bro. You can put that on a coffee cup.

Any mo mosaic. Divorce, eh? Question mark. Don't beat a dead divorce. I've got a lot of dead horse-beaten jokes in this episode. You could sell all that shit on your website. You can customize everything from the look and feel of the settings and the products. It's all optimized for mobile right out of the box.

Use Squarespace's analytics to help you grow in. real time. There's nothing to install or patch or upgrade ever. But if you do have a question, Squarespace has award-winning 24-7 customer support that's there to help. Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch your website, use the offer code Puck Soup, all one word, P-U-C-K-S-O-U-P, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com, offer code puck soup. Just imagining like the Squarespace like customer service person like 3 a.m. Like all that's like a porn site.

Hey, I can't get this Bukaki video to upload. Could you help me out here? I'm going to send you the clip. No, don't. I don't know if you can do that or not on Squarespace, but I'm just picturing like all the awful 24-7 late-night emails they get.

Oh, Squarespace. Yeah, it's me, Greg Wyshinsky. Oh, Devil's Domain? Yes, of Devil's Domain. I have a photo gallery of 25 Devils players and the potatoes that look like them. and I can't get the photos to link So it's 3.45 in the morning. I know!

I'm on my fourth mountain dew and I can't get it right. Yo, what's up? It's Jason from Long Island. I got a fire, Gart Snow website. I'm trying to get to upload here. And the GoFundMe is not linking out properly. What do I do here?

All right, we should talk about that. So Islanders fans are pretty engaged right now with the state of the state of the day. Team. Engaged is definitely a word you can use to describe it. They're engaged. Think about the roller coaster that is the Aoners fan season.

We start the season. I feel like the roller coaster has been at one level the whole time. Clean slate. Maybe we'll do great this year. Oh, we're not good. Wait. Matt Barzell is winning rookies of the month. We're going back up the roller coaster.

Oh, God, all these articles about John Tavares leaving. This sucks. I hope you get a new building to keep him here down this roller coaster. We got a new building. Up the roller coaster. But he hasn't signed yet. You're just reappropriating the Vince doing the movie bit. Down the roller coaster.

Looks like John's doing the Long Island. We're getting closer to the playoffs. And our owners are great. And what have you? Up the roller coaster. Garstow gave a press conference and he said that the reason we're not winning is because of injuries. But it's not down the roller coaster all the way down to buying a billboard. So the billboard thing, if you haven't heard it,

Islanders fans were trying to raise $2,000 to buy a... A month's worth of billboard... To buy a billboard near Barclay Center that was basically a Fire Garth Snow Billboard. So they ended up getting well over 2000. I think the last count this morning was like $6,000. They were going to donate the rest of it to Andrews Lee's kids with cancer charity. And then Andrewsley is like, I'm an employee of this team. You dipships.

You dip ships. You're trying to come up with. It's a way to fire my boss. The guy who drafted and signed me and signs my checks. Like, I really can't be associated with this. I can't imagine putting a stranger in a more compromising position than what the islanders did to Anders Lee. That's just unbelievable.

It's like, we're going to create a billboard that calls for the firing of Garth Snow, and we are going to donate money in the name of Glenn Sather, Rangers president. Like in football, the bills get to the play. playoffs because of one and the Dalton pass and Bill's fans give like thousands of dollars to this charity like great yeah the islanders are like we want to fire guard snow the guy who gave you your opening and your opportunity and all your money you mind taking like a couple grand from this here i'm i'm all four fan protests uh i love when people rent planes to fly banners over sporting events that are like fire whomever it's just such a waste of money i'm down with

buying giant advertisements and newspapers it's that feeling it's like it's like you take the fan and paramet of being able to boo at a game, and then you stick a syringe in it and pump it full of steroids, and now it becomes a fire Garth Snow billboard. Maybe just like take a step back and be like, why does this matter so much to me? Why does whether or not Garts Snow has a job next year? Maybe you're taking it too seriously. You can't, you can't do that. The moment you step back to the ledge, you realize that it's none of this matters. Like, you got to be all in or all out. Like Ben McAdoo could have coached the Giants for the next decade. At no point what I've been like, you know what I need is a billboard in East Rutherford that says

Macadoodoo. You know, like, I just have all the things to spend your money on. Listen, as a Jets fan who once participated in Joe Must Go Chance when I wanted to Joe Walton fired. Like Rich Cotite. Yeah. More like Rich Co. Loose.

Is it because of that roller coaster that I just defined earlier? No. I don't. I don't. They're so triggered by all of the stuff to do that. Because like, I don't think the season's really been a roller coaster. They went into the year kind of like not favor to make a a playoff spot and they've kind of been in the same sort of like wild cardish below its spot all year.

I just think this is like a decade of building of just, you know, every. And like there's also that weird sentiment too that like Gart Snow's good at his job. Like every once in a while, like I get a retweet where it's like, look what Gart Snow's done with. I think Garth sounds good at his job. Oh my God. Wow. Tell me why not. Has he drafted well?

Yes. Has he? Sure. He's picked in the top 10 like 10 of 12 years. But what does he have? Okay. I keep hearing Josh Hossang is going to work out. You want to hear about the Nino-Nuterider,

or Cal Clarke trade? There have been, you see, there have been some moments of great triumph and some moments of great disappointment from Garth Snow. Delcal. Ness. He's fucked up a lot. He's had a lot of high picks that he's fucked up. If you give someone enough high picks, they're going to eventually stumble into John Tavares.

Well, he didn't, I mean, it's the number one overall pick. Yeah, he'd stumble into that. Right. Although there was... He could have taken Dushain, though. In the corner news day, he was going to take D'Shain, right? That was, like, a debate that year. It was like, Dushain or Tavares.

And I remember, like, not knowing, I still don't know the fuck all about junior hockey. I'm, like, seeing her numbers and just being like, why would you ever take, I don't understand, but I don't think you would ever take Matt D. Shane. But, like, oh, man. I mean, he did, Rick D. Pietro was his. He wanted to go back that far. Like, he's had a lot of bad Nikolai Kulamins, not so great. He let Michael Grabner go.

So you think he should be fired. He should have been fired a long time ago. Like, he's, I mean, there was a time when you can make the excuse of, like, well, there's a lot of money there. They're not spending, but... I think that's... I think that's why I give him kind of a pass in some ways is because of everything that's happened behind the scenes through the years of him

and the money and the fucking moving... What franchise has moved twice within the same city to different arenas? Like, there's a lot of, like, Islanders... It's really hard to, like, recruit free agents without, like, giving them an Andrew Ladd contract when you've got, like, a circus

tent going on behind him. Oh, yeah, Andrew Ladd. Yeah, well, you know. Got to get someone to play with Johnny T, right? I mean, they, like, I don't know. It depends on how you feel about Franz Nielsen, but they kind of just forgot about Franz Nielsen. Like, ah. Well, you couldn't pay.

That was going to be overcompensation. I think that was a good move. I think, I think, I think history shows that. Can you see Sizkus'I's contract? I think history shows that Franz Nielsen and Ocopozo were both smart moves on his part, as far as far as not bringing him back. Like, he stumbled into an offseason where the Bruins and Blackhawks couldn't pay their guys because they had dipshits there, and they got Nick Letty and Johnny

Boychuck for nothing. See, but that, again, that was because the timing. credit like Ray gets credit for getting Marcus Johansson because the capitals were dips and they couldn't afford them. You don't give snow credit for getting Letty and Boiuch that year? Well, they were stockpile and picks the devils. The Islanders were just not spending any money forever. Then they finally had a season where they could and it happened to be at the same time two teams were capped out and they had to get rid of guys. It's not bad or anything, but like it's just, it's not strategy. I think Garth gets too much criticism. I'll, I'll defend him a

little bit. I think he gets too much criticism. I think that he is a guy, he's a tryhard. He swings to the fences and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I ultimately don't think that this franchise is being held back by Garth Snow. And this franchise is being held back by a lot of guys that at the time, if you go back and look, people probably were fawning over some of the picks

they made, they just didn't pan out. Well, I don't care of people we're doing. Also, the Bat Bar Zal trade. I mean, you win a trade with the Oilers. It's not really winning a trade. The one thing I'll say about him, though, that I agree with the I understand about is this fucking nonsense in goal. Like,

the Grice Halak duo can be upgraded, should be upgraded, and has not been upgraded. But I mean, who were they ever going to get? Well, think about some of the glories that have moved. I mean, like Martin Jones. Like, they're, they're, Ben Bishop. Like, but Ben Bishop would be a better option here than Halak and Grice.

I mean, if you're giving up 45 shots a night every night, though, like, really, what's Ben Bishop going to do? You know? Would Mike Smith have been an improvement? Would Brian Elliott have been an improvement? Oh, we can't sit here with Mike Smith. Everyone thought Mike Smith was the shudiest. Again, actually, this was a good point

because Mike Smith was dog shit in Arizona for years left, went to Calgary and he was pretty good. Ante Yerantam was pretty good everywhere he was. He goes to Arizona and you can't stop anything. Would the islands be a better team right now with Mark Andre Fleury? Yes.

What is this? Are you Slovakian? What are these valentines who are giving halak and grace? You know me. I'm more of a team guy in front of the goalie than a goalie guy behind the team. So Mark Andre Fleury is playing behind a better team, I would say, at this point.

I mean, that much is clear with your support of Scott Darling. Do Caroline, every time Can War gives up four goals, the fucking Carolina fucking Hurricane score five. It's insane. Like Scott Darling gives up three in the first period. He gets pulled. They never come back. Cam Ward just like spaces his goals out better when he gives.

Cane Ward is at like 902? Let's bring it back to three billboards outside of Ebbing Barclays Center. Why do you have to bring that up? I think this about the billboard. I think that... Why no results, chiefs, though? I think the Islanders fans feel empowered. Remember when Brian Burke was like, why, why fire your coach now, Brian?

And then Burke was like, I couldn't help but notice. The fans were all chanting fire Andy. Fire Andy. At some point, you got to fire Randy. You're an idiot if you're listening to people drunk in your arena screaming about firing. But it empowered Leafs fans. fans who were chaining fire, Randy, to throw in their fucking jerseys, they affect the change.

I think Islanders fans, by not going to Barclays, feel empowered. By not going to Barclays. Why do you think they're moving? No, but I mean, like, you think they haven't been going. They draw 10,000 a night in this place.

Everybody hates it. Yeah, but they're not going for empowerment. They're not going because they just want to go all the way out there. They're not going because they don't want to go. Yeah. And because they decided not to go, they're building another arena in New York City. That's the amount of power that Islanders fans have wielded in the last calendar year.

They did not go to one place. The Islanders are like, fuck, let's build a whole new place for you to put it closer to where you are. Yeah. That's an incredible amount of empowerment. But there's a difference between thousands of people not showing up 41 times a night than 335 people donating to a GoFundMe. But I mean, that's different. But that's, but I'm saying that like I feel like they, this is the GoFundMe billboard is a symptom of the amount of SWONMe. wagger they have now, they got their team to build them an arena because they didn't go to the one they moved to.

I see what you're saying. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, imagine how big your schwanza is after that. When you decide, I'm not going to Brooklyn. And the owner's like, they're biting their nails. We'll build a whole new place closer to you. Wait, hang on. I'm imagining myself with a big schwanse.

Wow, it's great. I see your schwances is as big as mine. So that's the saga there. again, I don't know how it all shake out. Maybe there's been a backlash against the fans by the usual water carrying people. And also, like, if even if John Tavares leaves, it's kind of his fault, but it's not really his fault. You know, like it's his fault because the team isn't good after all this time. But, you know, if 31 teams or 30 teams want to give you a bunch of money and they're in better situations, actually, I take it back.

It's all guards to those fault. You should be fired. If I'm the Islanders. Fans, vis-a-vis John Tavares. Vis-vis. Here it is again. I never noticed that somebody pointed it out. It's a crutch.

I'm worried about two places. Uh-huh. Okay. Montreal? I'm worried about Montreal. Very much so. Mm-hmm. I'm very much worried about Montreal.

I think... How does he go there, though, and get a big fat contract and have Montreal still be good? Because that's going to be like $20 plus million in between him and Carrie Price. Like, how is that team ever going to be good if he goes there? Short-term. Short-term window. You'll have the center, the defenseman, and the defenseman and the goalie. Nashville.

Three years, 24 million. I'm worried about much. I'll tell you the other thing I'm really worried about with Montreal. Papri Sahn is John DeVaris's agent. His best friend in the whole wide world is Mark Bergervan. And I got, it got me thinking, why hasn't Mark Bergervan been fired?

Is it because you can't fire GMs? What? Because GMs never get fired. But do you think that it's because they think that they have an end with Bresan and to get Tavares there? You're a devil's fan. I used to be a devil's fan. Who was Pat Brousand's big, big client for a long time?

Who was it? Marty Browardier. And every year it was like, oh, not every year, but towards the end, it was like, oh, Marty's going to go to Montreal. Marty's going to, he never did. Yeah, but Marty was fat and happy here in Jersey. He was definitely fat. He was somewhat happy.

But John Tavares, like, also, John Tavaris, the one thing I completely agree on is that he's not like a star fucker. You know, like, he doesn't necessarily want to go someplace where it's like all about him. Like, he would definitely, like Nashville is a low, what's your other city? That's why I'm concerned about. city number two. Because they are clearly carving out some salary space for something.

Oh, God. Come on. What? Ottawa? No, fuck it. He's never going to Ottawa. He doesn't want to play in Quebec in four years. Devils? No. Devils? That's great, but I don't think... I do believe that Tavares is a good enough dude to not go to the devil for the Rangers. San Jose. Oh, why would you go there? Why wouldn't you go there? See, again, this is like the Kevin Chattonkirk thing

last year where I'm not smart enough to be an agent. I don't have the business lawyerly skills to do it. I'm like, trial Leon, it's always sunny. Like, oh, excuse me, bird law states that you should not sign with the Rangers. Like, that's, I don't know what, like, I have no use in there, but I would tell Kevin Schaenck, and Kirk, buddy, this is a really bad situation. Don't go there. Like, that's San Jose now. Why? You think they're going to contend for a cup in the next five years? Joe Thornton's 100 years old. That's lost Patrick Marlowe. Joe Pavelsky's also secretly old. Are you trying to tell me if you added John Tavares to that team that you don't think they could for a cup next year?

To who? To Burns, Vlasic, Couture, Pavelski, Hurdle, Don Skoy. No. Really? They're at a point where they're sticking Brent Burns it forward. A hurdle got hurt, that's why. Yeah, but I mean like if one guy gets hurt suddenly your best defenseman has to play forward? Pull the thread, sweater unravels.

I would be very worried about them because I think that they are clearing the decks for something. I think they're keeping a lot of salary open for something. So you're assuming they let Thornton go after the season and then go John to Lovars? Potentially? I mean, if that salary, base leaves, that's even more,

you could add a couple pieces. You could add Tavares and something else. That is probably the thing that we'll end up keeping Tavares here is that there's just not a lot of ideal places. Not like ideal, but like really, really perfect places to go. Like, right or where you go. It's like Montreal. Ooh, look at that, Rossi.

San Jose. Oh, that's like, oh. By the way, this two teams to worry about rant is me acknowledging that the lightning are much more apt to figure out a way to get Eric Carlson and than to get Tavarison. I mean, they need Carlson more than they need Tavares.

Right. They have enough forwards. Yeah. But like where, like Nashville. I kid about Nashville, but like their bottom six sucks. Like, imagine you drop Tavaris up there. But you're paying Johansson and Taurus all that money. Short term, baby.

Tavars is, Tavars is 27? What the fuck? No one does that. That's not the NBA. Hey. No one signs the one year deal. Nobody went to the moon until somebody went to the moon, Greg. That's an excellent point.

And according to this movie, I saw it once on Netflix. there are Nazis on the other side of the moon. It was a movie called Iron Something. And it was about a Nazi moon base. And they sent a bunch of flying saucers back to the Earth to attack us. What? Yeah. Iron Sky, I want to say.

This is why I don't pay for Netflix. I never once heard someone describe a show on Netflix from like, I got to see that. Right. Like, what's it about? Well, it's about these eight-year-olds that fight off demons and Winona Ryder's there. What's amazing, though, is that like there's always an audience for it. Like, they just canceled a show. where Kathy Bates was running a pot dispensary,

and I was like, I feel like I'm kind of plugged into pop culture. I thought this was an onion article, because I literally have never heard of this show in my entire life. Same thing with the Dick, the Dick investigation, the whole drawing the dicks thing. Oh,

American Vandal, it was amazing. It's real. Yeah. I didn't know. It was real until it was like two months out already. I was like, wait, I just thought this was like a bit on Facebook,

like a Netflix joke. This amazing show that's also poignant and wonderful. Was it? Oh, God, it was great. Yeah, you should definitely check it out. So that's, yeah, so Islanders fans are a strange lot, I think, is what we're trying to say. That's very the lead. You know what it is is I would love to see a study on how being a fan of a team that's been shitty for a long time affects your brain.

Like in Edmonton, you know, like there's like this weird like Stockholm syndrome where everyone just sort of agrees with management because of the 80s. Like here, it seems more, it seems more vicious. You know, like they're more like out for blood. Like as bad as this is in Eminton, no one's taking out a billboard to get Pete Shear rally fired. In Philadelphia, Philadelphia was terrible forever in football anyway. And then finally they win the Super Bowl and like they were actually kind of decent about it. You know, like they tore down that, um, the, what were they doing the flips on the, what do you call it? Oh, the awning.

The awning. Yeah, the awning of the four seasons. In my brain, I was like the anvil. That's not the right word. They weren't hopping off a Jim Knightheart. Right. Like, they still fucked up the city. But like, but like Philadelphia fans before that had this weird, like, like, they're, they're, they're a response.

to the losing was we're still awesome. Like, oh, three NFC title games. Like, the Islanders are just, and plus the whole Tavares thing on top of that. Like, imagine if you were a Philadelphia Eagles fan and you might lose Carson Wentz. You're just like, I don't know. That brings us to our question of the week.

We have more things to talk about, but we might as well tie it in with this conversation about billboards and such, which was that... Okay, there's some good answers there. Yeah, the question of the week was, what would you put on a billboard outside your team's arena today if you could?

that would be Sherrod the Eagles writes in Phil Kessel's House O Hot Dogs The Matthew Shane one was good Miko 96 says

Even in my dreams I can't afford A billboard Outside of MSG Craig Gleason I've got to find out Oh he's a He's a Hurricanes fan

This is great A days since Playoff appearance counter That's expensive Though You got to update that one every day

Tray Doughty This is a This sounds like almost like Tray Gowdy Who I think is like someone in government Like a senator or something Trade Doughty Trade Gaudy

Sounds like a country singer Jeff Englehart writes in Caring loving home available For Ottawa Blue Liner's named Carlson Outside the Little Sears Arena Yeah there's a lot of good Detroit ones A picture of Mitch Martyr drinking Mountain Dew by Adam Foreman

What does that mean? He's a young child Oh, Mountain Dew still the kids still love the Mountain Dew. Russ Fort says outside the ACC, pretty pleased Lou with sugar on top, fire Roman Polack into the sun. Do you realize that if you fired him into the sun, how long that journey would take? And also, like, he would hit the sun from behind, and then the sun would sue and he would go to the sun. He would move like the Nostromo and alien. It would just be this giant floating oil derrick in space that would slowly approach the sun.

There's a good chance the sun might explode before Roman Polack gets there. The sun would move out of the way in time. He's too slow to get there. Andrew Williams Again, another Caniak writes in No Quebec, you can't have our team. Kevin Luss writes in Not even Andy Dalton can save the Sabres.

Russ Ivanoch, a Red Wings fan, writes in, outside of Little Seasers Arena, if you could read this, you're probably not in the seats either. That's a bad scene. someone suggested outside of the Buffalo Sabres Arena a picture of Bart Simpson with the At least you tried cake which is pretty good What was the D'Sheaan one you were talking about before? The Dushain one was like a quote that said, it was from Matthew Shane and it said like

I just want to play play playoff hockey. Right. And then you take that and you put it outside Pepsi Arena. Jeff Baldwin writes in a picture of Patrice Bergeron with the caption, Have you heard the good news? It's sort of a Jesus thing, you see. Is it? Because he's, yeah.

Oh, because he looks like Jesus. Is that a thing? Let's see here. I don't think Jesus is French Canadian. Is he French Canadian? He has to be. Nick Follis writes in, Hey, Ken Holland's so long and thanks for all the fish.

Oh, this is the one from R.F. Dean. A picture of Duchyne with the quote, I want to play play playoff hockey right outside the Pepsi Center. I mean, Colorado's not a lock for the playoffs or anything, but still, it's funny. A lot of Fire Hollands. Yeah, like Detroit. Detroit is like the anti-Philadelphia where everyone's way too angry about Ken Holland considering what he did for two decades.

Like everyone's really, I mean like it's been coming for a while, but they fucking hate Ken Holland. Finally, Vicky Foley bringing it for the Penguins going to the White House is a mistake you hypocrites. No love, comma, a former fan. Ouch. Bring that fire. You got to edit that down, though, because the font size would be too small on the billboard for everyone to see it. They have to just be like, fuck you, penguins, comma, Vicki Foley. Is there anything worse in life than when you're driving down like the turnpike and you see?

see a bumper sticker that looks amazing. And it's like, like, it's giant letters to say, hey, libtards. And you're like, I want to see what the rest of this says. But the font's so small that you can't make it out. And then you try to get up and back of them to kind of see it through your windshield. It's like, it's like, cuck you and your cuckiness cucks. Like, oh, that's, that's stupid. I almost died to see that.

Shillery for jail, 2816. Cuck nuts. Oh, wait, sorry. An apology. one of the exit interviews on the Patreon was somebody who said that we are too political. Oh, we are. And this is, in fact, probably the first time we've talked about politics in about two months. And you said Trey Gowdy earlier, who may or may not be an elected official.

Sounds familiar. Speaking of the Devils, Taylor Hall should be a Hart Trophy nominee. Here we go. Do you agree or disagree? I don't realize we're going to talk about this. I didn't come in prepared for a Taylor Hall. He's like 25 points up on Heeshire. He's like a bunch of goals up on whoever's second on the devil's.

You take them off the team, they fall apart. But, like, having 25 more points than, like, another devil player isn't really that hard, right? Like, what does he have? 31. No, it's funny, the devils this year are the bizarro devils, because, like, they can score goals, but now they can't keep the puck out of the net. Yeah. Which is Corey Schneider being out partially. Me not played trap.

Me give up goal. Like, Patrick Eliot's, like, Shadow coaching the team now, like, offense, just skate around and score. I just got Hesier instead of Nolan Patrick. That worked. out. Oh, that worked that really well. One thing we didn't talk about was the Funuff trade. Dionne Funnuff and Nate Thompson to the L.A. Kings through Marion Gabrick and Nick Shore.

I'm Nick sure that Marion Gavrick will get some ailment to retire in short order. I'm sure of that happening. Do you feel like that was like predetermined? Completely. No, but like I'm imagining like Pierre Dorian being like, trust me, once he gets her, he'll want to retire. He's not going to want to stick around anymore. It's not worth the money. I love that idea, but I'm sure it was one of those situations where it's a wink-wink nudge nuzz.

I mean, I don't know. Pierre Dorian has the finesse of a Lula Marillo to have that era, when I stamp my foot twice and wink, you will retire. He just puts him in a dark room. It's like when the Joker's in there and Gary Oldman leaves and then the Batman appears, and he's just like, Kyle Dubas leaves and all of a sudden the lights go out and lose behind him, slams his head in the table. Well, I've hidden my contract at Cicero. Where's your contract? You see, you're a bit of a freak like me.

Oh, just a good GM, bad GM routine. The thing is, is that people were like, oh, my God, this was such a blatant money-saving move by the senators. I'm like, yeah, their owner literally told you about a month ago. They're just going to start fucking cut in salary because there aren't enough fans and not enough revenue in that building to sustain the payroll. So it's almost like he said something was going to happen. And then it did. But congratulations, Encyclopedia Brown.

You really sussed out the reason this trade happened. But everyone's like, well, now they have all this extra money for Eric Carlson. But like, you're Eric Carlson. You're like, wait, so I'm going to spend the next eight years of my life playing, in a place where they're just going to trim money to pay me and then not pay other people? Like, they're screwed. I thought Travis Yost said it best.

Like, they have one shot of signing Carlson. Travis Yost said it best. Water is delicious. I like my pasta dry. Looks I don't know, Travis Yost is one of the best hockey writers alive with the single worst food takes alive. Just an absolutely diseased mouth.

Like his taste buds, something happened. Like he burned them off or something, and now he just can't taste anything. You know, a lot of people say that lobster rolls are incredibly decadent, but they've not tasted vanilla gum. Connor McDavid is the boiled chicken of hockey. And you're like, no, he's really good. And he's like, yeah, that's what I said.

But he said it best about Carlson. He's like, you know, they have to give him, you know, over 10 million a season. At least 10 for sure, yeah. Yeah. Probably more. Probably Connor money. and they have to come at him with a plan. They have to say, here is exactly what we are planning to do.

So if you commit to this franchise, you'll know in the next two or three years, you're going to... But, I mean, it's not to say that he's going to accept the plan, but that's the only way they're going to do it. The only way they can do it is to max them out money-wise and give him a firm plan on what they're going to do. It's all part of the plan. They're going to put Eric Crosson on one boat with explosives, and then they're going to put Mike Hoffman on another boat with explosives. And then Eugene Melnick's just going to be like, it's up to you. but I one boat lives the other doesn't

And this way he loses the salary Of one of those two guys And he doesn't care And then and then I retired Chris Neal walks over And takes the trigger out of Pierre Dorian's hands He's like, I'm going to do what you're too scared to do

And throws it out the window And then like Brendan Chanahan shows up Because he wants both of them He's going to have them both live This city He's going to show you What a good hockey town is Brendan

And you know how I got these scars? No, but I know you got these. Do you think Hoffman moves, by the way, at the deadline by Hoffman? What does he have left? One more year after this? Yeah. I think it's possible. It's weird to me how in the NBA, the calves below.

They're just like, we're fucked. And instantly, they remake the team. And in hockey, I get it. Like, sometimes guys are rentals. You don't want to overpay for rentals. But there's so many guys technically available who have more than one year left. And still, what are we? 13 days?

out, 12 days out, and still 11 days out, and the guys don't move. You make a good point, which is that we've never really had a point in hockey where at the trade deadline, it's always like, oh, if they can just tweak this one thing, they might be able to contend. It's harder in hockey because there's so many guys, I get it. But meanwhile, like, everybody has 60 points. Like, you have teams where it clearly isn't working. Like, why don't we have more gigantic makeovers?

Like, trade three key guys for the other team's three key guys. I mean, I don't know the NBA well enough to know, but I know they have a cap too, but like maybe they just have more room to play with. that to be true. They do things the NBA that defy logic. It's like we are going to sign LeBron James and Kevin Durant. We're going to give both of them the gross

national product of Uruguay and it somehow will still be able to fit under the cap. I don't know how they do it, but it's fantastic. Right? The NBA, it's fantastic. That was actually the slogan. Like the Dowdy, or Dowdy, the Finoff Gabrik trade, it's a hockey trade in a way for one team, but like really it's about dumping

salary. That's how all the trades happen now is Like, you have to get rid of guys. You have to have a guy on your team. Like, Phil Kessel's contract was, quote, bad at the time. And now it's like, oh, maybe the guy's worthy. You have to have, like, a guy trying to dump money. And then you attach a good player to the bad guy. And that's how the Ottawa will trade Gabbard if they trade him.

They'll attach, like, a first round picker, second round pick. Well, they shouldn't do that. I mean, that's also the Stan Bowman approach to general managing. And sometimes it works great. And sometimes it doesn't. Other times you trade Artemie Pinaran for no reason other than Brandon Sott was, well, Brandon Sots would fine this year, I guess. You trade Artemmy Panarin because Taves needs a winger,

and we're sure Kane can just do it on his own. You know what it is? It's too much kicking the can down the road in hockey where the deadline. Like with Rangers. Well, we have Zookarillo and we have Ryan McDonough. Ooh, teams should want those guys don't really make too much money. Well, we'll probably get a better offer at the draft. All right, you go to the draft.

You know what, though? Let's let the season start and see if they can increase their value. And then, all right, fine, the trade deadline comes again. Well, Chicago's got to find a way to get that Seabrook contract off the books. I don't know what it is. Right. That'll be a trade that happens. That, Anissomov's no move becomes a no trade on July 1st.

You can trade him. If you can somehow find a way to get Seabrook off the books, they might have at least one more deer of something if they can get those two contracts off the books and make their right calls. Ready? Go ahead. Ready? Yeah, here it is. Seabrook. Mm-hmm.

The Brinket. Mm-hmm. Murphy. Mm-hmm. And a second. Who cares? For Matthews? For Lundquist.

For Lungquist? Because goaltending's the problem. They need a goalie. And then you trade Crawford in the offseason straight up for darling. And then we find out who is right. Me or the world. Oh, you were on crack.

Speaking of crack. Talk about it's rare. People are always asking us food questions and we actually now have an answer as both. Dave and I in the last week have sampled the revolutionary new product at Taco Bell. French fries and cheese. French fries with spice on them and cheese. How does Taco Bell come up with these? I don't know. Let me hear your review first and I'll react to it.

It was good. I just wish the dipping container was different because it's a very shallow container of cheese. The cheese is good. The fries are good. I would eat it again for sure. But like you need to kind of like break the fry in the middle and then like dip it sideways a little bit. And they're almost like a little double-fried, so like they're stiff. They're not like floppy-flupy. They're not like floppy. Right. Where you can like swirl them around in the cheese and then create like almost like cheese spaghetti with your fries and then put it in your mouth. Right. They're good.

I like them too. I think the quality of the fry was better than I expected. Yeah. There's a lot of lot. It's a dollar fries. So you're not going to get a ton of fries, but it's good fries. The spice is fine. Like it's a good.

It's like eating old bay fries almost, I guess. Yeah. Like you get it at five guys. I still don't know what the quote Mexican. spices are. Yeah, I feel like it's just old base seasoning. Yeah, it's old base seasoning, and then maybe they put some pepillar, some, uh, um, uh, cumin on it or something. Is that technically a Mexican spices? I use it on my, and when I make tacos, I don't know. It's probably not, I mean, I think it's part of Mexican cooking. Or they probably put like, uh, like a, like a, a Chipotle,

uh, whatever the fuck on it. Fakes or whatever. Whatever it is, it's good. Okay, here's a thing, though. Uh-oh. I like the fries a lot, but I, I, I've considered now maybe bring them of the rotation, the four piece rotation for tagable meals. Get the fuck out of here with that cheese. That cheese is so thin. It's so flavorless. It's so not good. You need to throw some jalapinos or other peppers in that sauce.

Make it more of a queso than a cheese sauce and you might have something. But that cheese, like, it's just nonsense. I felt like you need to get either some other condiment, like a Chipotle mayo or something that I can dunk these fries in. Oh, man. where you need to upgrade your cheese sauce because that is the big flaw in this right now. You're going from an A minus down to like a B with that cheese sauce. Disagree. I think the cheese sauce complements the flavor of the fry very well.

I think it's a good balance. I don't think you want to have the cheese sauce be too overpowering where you lose the flavor of the fry. Well, I mean, the one virtue of the cheese sauce is that you don't have to order a drink because it's so watery. It is like having a big old glass of water next to you, flavored water, cheese flavored water. Yeah, it is, it is a thin cheese sauce. I can't deny that. Yeah. But it's good, though.

No. I would get it. I'd swap out the cheese sauce. You've got a big old winner, but as of right now, I'd have to give it a B. What do you give it? A minus. All right. A minus for sure.

Once again, these two wacky guys are always disagreeing about things in life. Oh, they're right each other's throats. I just don't understand why you don't want to call the night to do anything. We need Charlotte Wilder to come in and be our third host like she wants to be and be the one who says, guys, come on. Stop fighting. But like, I feel like that like that, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the woman who's on the

I was gonna say yeah Fox Sports show yeah no it's like there's a woman on um the the fucking shitty debate show on ESPN

you can't you can't call it a shitty debate show on ESPN do you mean first take yeah right it's like Max Kellerman Stephen A Smith and then actually I don't watch it but like it's the same thing Colin Coward has like the the lady moderator I'm so happy I'm so happy that our industry is so forward thinking and inventive that they've taken what every morning radio show has

and then just put it on sports shows where every morning radio show has to have that that that woman it's like, oh my God, you can't say that, you guys, that's outrageous. I never watched the shows. And like, now they're all on the sports shows. Oh, my, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Wait, I guess that makes, that's Jason McIntyre on that show. He's not, he's not a girl. Oh, is he the, he's on, he's on moderator and coward show. Oh, but I thought he was, like, part of the debate team. No, he's like that plays that role. Oh, he's like the guy that, like announces the topic. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah. I never watched. He's like staff boy or whatever. Like, every show. show is PTI Ruin TV. They had a good thing with PTI. Two guys have known each other for 30 years being crabby about sports. And that's like every show on ESPN.

Yeah. And I think the big difference is that, you know, those two guys had, like you said, a lifelong of chemistry while other shows were just kind of thrown together. Let's put the two loudest people that we have together on the same set and steal. It's two hours. First take is like two hours, man. Two hours. I've been watching Scott Pilgrim a lot lately in HBO.

I have that scene in my head. Two hours. For our first I'll know with Brie Larson. Yeah, I forgot she was in that. Allison Pill is so funny in that movie. That was a perfect movie. I can't believe that guy made Baby Driver. I really can't.

All right, that's the show for this week. Our thanks to Patrick Eliash for joining us if you are a Devils fan and you want to see his number get raised at the rafters. That's coming up soon. We probably should have looked up the date during the break, but we didn't. I want to say the 24th. Sure. And honestly, like, it's probably sold out, so.

Seat geek. Just on the boat soon. I think you were going to do the Bain, seat geek voice. Oh, it's a new seatkick, my friends. I bought my tickets in the darkness. I was going to say. The banner was raised in the darkness. So, yeah, just go see that.

Our thanks to all of you for answering the question of the week. And our thanks to all the Patreon subscribers, patreon.com slash puck soup. For five bucks a month, you get six bonus things. Or just kick us a dollar if you like us. We got some Gary Betman related content next month. Already already in the hopper. Yeah, I don't want to spoil next month's bonus episode, but I'll just say that it is March.

And Gary Betman. And Gary Betman is madness. We're Greg Golzinski. You can find myself on ESPN.com. Just look for the NHL tag, which has disappeared at the moment because it's the Olympics. Is that true? But it'll be back. And then me and Emily Kaplan write on that all day long and do fun stuff.

and my Friday column, if you don't know, I've got a column that's sort of puck daddy-ish, if you missed the puck daddy writing. It's called The Weekly Reader. You can read it every Friday. Also, ESPN are nice is my other podcast. We had Mark Lazarus on, to talk about Blackhawks and Mike Arruzioni on this week to talk about, well, talk about all of his former teammates selling gold medals to pay for medical bills and stuff. What did that guy do again?

What's you from? He's from the second greatest moment of Al Michael's career, the first being, being in the same booth when Chris Collinsworth, went over the Zach Ertz play for the hundredth time. You're still mad about that. I love the stuff that sticks on your craw. A Zachert's 4,000 conversion. Again, it's not the, it's not the Zachert's play. It's the fact that there was past interference on two-point conversion,

and it never mentioned it, to then talk about the Zachert's play again. It makes me mental. I'll be talking about this for five years from now. And no one's going to know it. You can be like, yeah, sure, I remember that correct. We'll find out Chris Collinsworth is the world's biggest Minnesota wild fan, and he'll come in and it'll be like, God, I'm trying, we need to stop the interview.

I got to talk to you about something that happened five years ago. This is a real man. But anyways, what do you have to Pimp? Let's go. Let's go out of here. I'm going to go pee. Pimp a bit butterfly. All right, thanks, everybody.

We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Be-bo-d-d-blood. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows. It's and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hockey and Nancet.

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