Puck Soup - Pete The Retailer from Star Wars Minute

Episode Date: February 9, 2017

Dave and Greg welcome Pete The Retailer from Star Wars Minute to talk about how his first Puck Soup was ruined, his New York Islanders' fortunes and potential relocation, how to do Minute-By-Minute podcasts and they play the exciting new game "Star Wars Planet or NHL Player." That, plus Claude Julien gets fired by the Bruins, and the boys talk about where he and that team go next; firing your coach during a Super Bowl parade; the best and worst of Super Bowl LI; reviewing the Taco Bell Naked Chalupa; the flat salary cap, and the NHL's evil reasons for it; reader mailbag; and the winners of the first Puck Soup contest, as well as the introduction of the mysterious Puck Soup Cup Soup trophy. Brought to you by Seat Geek and Blue Apron!

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Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you'll commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, eats and tools. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nancet. I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy blog. And I'm Dave Lozo of whatever. And you're in Puck Soup. Dave, it's a momentous day here in Puck Soup in which we welcome.

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Anyways, you know who else is good people? That's not us. Claude Julian. Claude! Claude! Clode! Oh, into Claude! What a mercy killing that was.

Just dangling in for two years. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, I've seen some people write about this, and I kind of agree that it's just good to get it done. It's good that this is finally over for him. So whatever the next phase of life is going to be, whatever coaching gig is going to be, it's good that he gets out of Boston. Because like you said, man, it's like, how long do you want to live life with a guillotine dangling above your potato head with Ken Neely hates you? Don Sweeney's like, don't do this. He's good.

He's a good coach. And Cam Neal's like, fuck this guy, you know. But, you know, it finally happens. This happens this week. Clue Julian fired after like 10 seasons. And, uh, and, and now we've moved into a different phase for the Boston Bruins. You know what it was like? It was like when you find out like your grandpa's sick and is going to die and like he's in pain for two years and you're just like, I love my grandpa. He's great. He's done so much, so many great things in his life. He's, he's still pretty great whenever he's, you know, he's lucid. But like, you know,

if he finally dies and like, you're sad about it, but you're just like, this is best for everybody. I don't want him to die He doesn't deserve to die But like it's really best for everybody now That we all move on And now he's going to be in a better place Like heaven will probably be like I don't know Montreal

Right Or the islanders Right So you're saying Don Sweeney is essentially Dr. Kovorkian He's sitting there with the tubes in the arm He's like grandpa's in a better place now No like Don Sweeney is like his wife Who's like tired of visiting the hospital all the time

And it's just like we're pulling the plug He's been the one arguing for a year. Right. No, no, no, he's still there. I bet you threw a ball out of him. He'd catch it, like in Awakening's. I've seen him react to my voice when I say it. Claude, stop playing Pastor Knox so much.

And then he twitches. I know he hears me. He pretends like he doesn't. We need more toughness. And then he like rolls over in the bed. You can't roll over if you're in a coma. He heard that. He heard that.

Listen, I don't think, if it's Montreal, it would be interesting because that'd be a return engagement. I don't think it's going to be Montreal. What if Montreal goes in the tank? They just lost 4-0 to the fucking abs. Well, I mean, I guess it should be Montreal because, like, if... What would it take for Terry to get fired?

First round exit? Oh, they'd have... And it could, though, because the way the East is, the four best teams are all in the Metro. So Montreal wins a division and plays the fourth best team from the Metro, which is like the fifth best team in the NHL. Right, which be the Devils.

Oh, my God. They're all in it. That's the crazy thing. I mean, like, I make that joke, and it's a stupid-ass joke because they have a minus-27 goal differential. But the devils, the islanders, the hurricanes are all the mix. And the fucking, you know, for all this shit said about the lightning, they're only like, I'm going to go find out right now because I didn't look at it before the show. They're two and two out of the break. I said they would go three and one at worst.

As of this podcast, the Tampa Bay Lightning have 54 points, which puts them five in back of the wild card. They played the same number of games, the Flyers. And it gives them, uh, they're kind of. closer to the wild card than the end of the three spot in the Atlantic. And of course, you know, you have Toronto with a couple games in hand. But like, they're not out of it either. Everybody in the east is still in it, which is crazy. Yeah, Montreal would have to lose in the first round on like five or six games. Like, they would have to be a sad first round loss too.

But even then, it's like, you know, Bergevans made such a big deal about being in the foxhole with Michelle Terry. And we're in the same foxhole. Like, it's, I don't even know what you do then. I guess it'd have to be a big, a big fish like Claude to go up there if you're going to make a change, His contract situation, Terry, and what's he's... I think he's like... His best friend's giving him a new contract every season. He's like, but I have seven years left on this. He's, take seven more, my friend.

That's a problem. Like, I don't know how you solve that in hockey, or in sports in general where, like, the general manager, like Doug Armstrong and Ken Hitchcock, they're like BFF and you're scared to fire him because you love him. Like, I'm not saying you should like never talk to your coach ever during the season and have like that Billy Bean, Art Howe, Brad Pitt, you know, Philip Seymour-Hopman relationship. this idea that like you don't want to fire your guy because he's your buddy like I feel like that

that's really bad for your team like there needs to be some sort of like distance there where you can't I'm in a foxhole of my guy buddy it's it's it's a workplace where you have to have yeah once Doug Armstrong cried at the beginning of his press conference then I realized it was less about the blues keeping Hitchcock around because they were worried about giving up that regular season success that they've had under him than it is he didn't want to fire his friend like he didn't want to go to his friend and be like dude you I know you're at the end of of of your time here. We've got this other guy. We really want to be the coach. Maybe you retire and then he's the coach. Oh, no, wait. No, you're right. You stay. And then he just is like a guy that

coach is with you for a little bit. And he can probably learn from you because you're really smart. You're like the smartest guy that I know. How many wins you have? You're so good. You're so good at what you do. I mean, sure your coaching hasn't helped Jake Allen get a save percentage above 857 all season. By the way, Jake Allen. Two games of the four he's played since the break. and he pitched a shutout. He stopped like 30 shots. Of course. This is good coaching.

Of course. Mike Yosch was up and he's like, buddy, I got an idea. Yeah. Stop Pucks. Wait, Ken Hitchcock told me never to do that. I know. I heard him. I overheard him, but I was the assistant.

I didn't want to step on his toes, but I've always thought it would be good for a goalie to make saves. That's such a load off my shoulders there, coach. Thanks, coach. And by the way, going back to the whole buddy system we got here with coaches and GMs, the thing I hate about Don Sweeney is that he got there and he was a coward from the fucking minute he took that job.

Whoa! He didn't fire a clode right away like you wanted to. Sat there and let him fucking, you know, hang in the wind. But that's because he knows he's a good coach.

Like, he didn't want to make up the bad decision which is to fire the good coach. But he fired him anyway. If you're going to fire him and you have an idea in your head for how you want to change the team,

do it. Even though it's not the popular choice. I have so much more respect if he got there. And then that summer was like, you're out of here. Cassidy. in. And there's that. There's the whole

not willing to rebuild. You got one foot in the rebuild bucket, one foot in the go-for-it bucket. And then the cowards move of all time firing him during the New England Patriots Super Bowl parade. Let's talk about this for a second. I think there's been a disconnect here between normal people who look at things and say, why are they being done at this point in time?

And soulless assholes that used to work in public relations like me. This was genius. This was genius. Like, the only way it could be more genius is if you fired him at half time of the Super Bowl. I mean, that would be the only way to be more genius. Do you think people didn't notice that he was fired? No, but there's no distraction that prevents you from knowing that?

You called the roles at the press conference of people that were out covering the parade or couldn't get to the arena because of the parade. You basically made it a big, a big jumble of media where, you know, some places went live to the press conference. Other places did live for the parade. It was, listen. As a former PR guy, doesn't that foster a bad relationship with the media when you go out of your way to fuck them like that? Oh, what are they going to do? Not cover the Bruins? No, they're going to fucking, they're going to slag you every chance they get out on the fucking press.

What they're going to do is ask a bunch of little pissy questions like that in the press conference of, Ery, uh, why couldn't, why, why are you doing this down? The pants for me. One of the questions literally was, good. Did you see on, that Sunday was one of the greatest comebacks in the history of Boston sports? Oh, it was like, it was like, how dare you, sir, is to do this? I'm like, come on, man. I think it's a fair question to be like, did you do this today?

Because he felt like you would get less heat while the Patriots were celebrating at the City Hall. That's a legit question, but the other one's not. The other one's some bitter townie that couldn't get to the parade because he had to be at Bruins practice. Touchdown Tom is at City Hall. He's talking into a microphone. I want to hear it. Mark Wahlberg left the game early. He blamed it on his kid.

I could be drinking beer off of Gronks' abs right now, but I have to be here asking you about Ryan Spooner. Let me ask you this. If the Patriots had not benefited from the. Falcons shitting the bed for the last 27 minutes of the game or whatever. Do you think they would have fired him on Monday? You think of the favorites were lost? Do you think so? I think I think they listen. I think they saw the window open up and they were just like push them out. The only thing, the only thing here is we have precedent. They fired Cheerle in minutes after the Aaron Hernandez's verdict. Like they did that. That's a fact. But that wasn't that wasn't Don Sweeney.

No, but that was the team. What do you think? Don Sweeney did this. Come on. Cam Neely did this. Cam Neely did this with the backing of the Jacobs who liked Julian two. Neely's been trying to fire Julian forever, but Julian kept on winning. That was the problem. But he really, I mean, he was winning. I mean, he missed the playoffs. They could have fired right in the last season. Well, he missed the playoffs.

Got to go, even though still he did the best he could. Sweeney fought for him. I give him credit for that. But we'll deal with the Bruins in a second. But I am, I know everybody out there was like, this is a punk move. This is a coward move. Of course it is. It is what you do in public relations when you have news that you know you're going

to get shit for. you release it at 5 o'clock on a Friday night. And like I said recently, like, this was akin to releasing bad news on 5 o'clock on a Friday night that also happens to be Christmas Eve. Like, it is the place that he put the bad news. Like, the bad news was put in a bottle and then shot into the fucking sun. Like, that's how far away from bad news they wanted to be. But, like, they're not. It's Thursday.

We're still talking about it. Like, it's not as, you can't hide that anymore in 2017. You can't, it's not like there's no internet and you can, like, fire somebody at, like, Friday at 501. And, like, all the newspaper guys are dumbing. They're smoking their cigarettes and they go home and you don't hear about it until Monday. But again, like, the first four questions in the press conference were not, well, isn't you anept player personnel management and that of your predecessor, the reason why you're in this spot now? The first four questions are, Errol, how could you do this during Twosmy's parade? And again, we live in a society right now where-

We're living in a society, people. We're living in a society right now where on the day that controversial attorney general candidates are being, you know, vetted and voted on, the president of the United States is, is tweeting about Nordstrom canceling his daughter's fashion line in order to make people talk about that instead of the other thing. So, like, this is what public relations is supposed to do. It is crisis management. It is Don Sweetie knowing that everybody's going to be pissed off because they all think Julian's a great coach, and they don't think the Bruins have any direction right now. And so they did the PR thing, and I applaud them for that.

Stupid. All right. Claude first. Do you think he goes to Vegas? I wouldn't. Again, like all these coaches that have recent success. especially Claude Gillian, who's fucking probably the best coach. He's probably the best coach that's not Babcock or Quenville. And you can make a case that he's better than them too, and that's fine. He's not going to go to a rebuild situation.

I don't think he goes to an expansion team. Why would he ever do that? Would he go to Vancouver with Jim Benning? Oh, no. I mean, you shouldn't. That team's a fucking disaster. They went off the cliff and did it. You know how like in the cartoons where like Wiley Coyote goes off the cliff and he doesn't know it yet until he turns to the camera and sees it? Like that's the Kinnux right now. They're hovering over the cliff, but they haven't looked down. down yet so they haven't fallen. Like, once they look down, they're going to realize, oh, shit,

it's over for us. He shouldn't go there. Would he go to Winnipeg if they fired Paul Maurice? Hmm. It's kind of a, they're a little bit farther away than you want to be, but the thing is, again, like, the thing is that, like, there's going to be a lot of teams that have, like, I would put Winnipeg in this position, I would put Buffalo in this position,

I would put Bedner in this position with Colorado. Like, there are some teams where logically their coach could return next season, they're going to look at this guy and say, all right, but what if we spring a little Claude, a little Claude, a little clode, a little clode? What if we put our head in the clode for a little bit? Like, would we, would be exponentially better next season if we fired our guy and hired this guy? I like the Winnipeg thing, because I think they're, they're pieces there. Their problem there is that, okay, there's two problems there. One problem is, is that if you take that job, are you worried that shovel day off setting to get fired in a year and then someone else

is going to come in because they're at a point where where they're at a point where they feel like the only option they have to win games is to put Andre Pavlik in that. They let Andre Pavlik shit the bed for like four straight years. They just kept throwing them out there. And then this year they give half a season to the kids and

they're like, we've got to bring Andre Pavlik back. I don't necessarily know if I want to be in an organization that feels like when things are going bad and we're two points out of the playoffs. Like there were two points out of the playoffs a couple days ago. Andre Pavlik is going out Audrey Pavlik is still the same guy. He's terrible. So if you go there, that's not necessarily...

You're hoping that Halle-Back becomes a good goalie, and you're hoping that you become more important than the GM. But here's the thing. If he goes there, you're asking for the impossible, which is a high-price free agent to choose Winnipeg. Now, three other teams I want to throw at you. All of them currently have coaches, but all of them could see him as an upgrade.

Philadelphia Flyers. Oh, yeah. I think Haxthaw's terrible. I think he's a dummy. I think there's something I wrote about this a couple weeks ago where if you're a coach and your plan

for getting your team out of a funk is to scratch one of your best players because he happens to be under the age of 25 The Gossessera thing you mean People keep saying that They're like oh he's he's not playing well And like I look at all of his numbers All of his possession numbers

Are way better than they were last year He's just not scoring Right and I heard people talking about this Oh where did I hear this People were saying like oh the NHLs figured out John Klingberg and Oh Elliot Elliot wrote about it. Elliot wrote about Klingberg and Gossisper and how tough it was for P.K.

to break into the league because of all these teams figuring them out. Like, Klingberg, there's an argument for that way more than for Gossack. Well, Klingberg, the argument is that he had a safety net in Gologoski. They worked really well together. And then you let that guy leave or you traded that guy. And now he doesn't have that anymore. Yeah. But I feel like he's more deserving of criticism than Gossack.

Right. He's like shooting like 2.2% this year. That's why he's down like 15, 20 points. He's still playing well, five on five. So if you're, to me, like, if you're a coach and you're like, man, we're not playing well, what do I do my, do I scratch Andrew McDonald? No, let me scratch Shane Gossespaire. What do I do up front?

I don't know. Why don't we, why don't we scratch connect me? Well, he's not that. He's, he's 20 years old. Let's get him out of the lineup. Like in 2017, that can't be your answer to why you're not playing well. It's to scratch your best player. So I think Claude Julianne would be a nice little upgrade there.

What about Detroit in Blaschell? Now, the theory is that when they missed the playoffs and the streak is broken, that will be the moment in which Ken Holland goes to ownership and says, all right, I can't get you a good defenseman, but I can get you a coach. Yeah. And that's a team you figure he'd be into the original six, pride, prestige. I would say no, because that's tough. Because they have all, they've got a bunch of young forwards.

The defense stinks, you're right? I don't necessarily feel like he goes there and suddenly they go from whatever they finished year this year with 89, 88 points to 99, just because of him. Do you think he goes to Colorado when they don't break up their core? Oh, I would, I would, I would rather, I'd rather work for, who's a despicable person

I can use as an example? John Spaddo. I'd rather work for the Republican, and party than Joe Sackick. I would not take orders from Joe Sacking. Do you think he goes and replaces Lindy Ruff with the Dallas Stars? I bet not. I bet like that's one of those like coaches fraternity things where he wouldn't want to go and replace Lindy.

I feel like if Doug O'Hawait doesn't want to coach next year, he should coach the I on there. I think that's a great way to get John Tavares to stay there too. I think Buffalo is in play. I think that's an interesting landing spot for him because I think Balsman is on a real hot seat. And then the last one I wanted to ask you because this is one that keeps on coming up, and I think it's bat shit but it keeps on coming up Tampa

like John Cooper's a genius like John Cooper will be snatched up in a millisecond by someone else if they fire him but Eisenman is such a fucking thick-headed win at all cost guy that I wouldn't be surprised if the coach paid for and also

let's be honest here let's get real on this podcast if let's finally got honest here and we're bullshit they both have huge egos and I'm sure it kills Eisenman that Cooper gets all the credit it.

Cooper got all the credit for those that run. Those runs. I just remember got all the credit for the off season. He did? So where's your team, buddy?

Where's your team exactly? Right. Um, I wouldn't fire John Cooper. I wouldn't either. Because you can't fire a coach that goes to the conference finals, the Stanley Cup final,

and then misses the playoffs by, say they missed the playoffs by six points without Stephen Stamco's for four months. You don't fire that guy. Also, I don't think we really gave enough praise for John. Cooper last year when they did as well as they did without Steven Stap. They basically won two and a half rounds. Right. Went two and a half rounds without Steven Stankos.

All right. No. It was really going to be fine. Now, the other thing about the Bruins I want to bring up is the fact that I think this does signal the beginning of a rebuild that they've been trying to avoid for a long time. They've been trying to put Band-Aids on problems. But they know that they've got to go in the wilderness for a couple seasons until McAvoy and all these guys are ready to be primetime NHL players. And that's fine. That's okay. I think they're allowed to do that. I think. in the pantheon of Boston sports, they're probably fourth in the pecking order right now anyway because the Celtics are pretty good again and the Red Sox are going to probably

win the division and the Patriots allegedly won the last Super Bowl. I don't know. I don't watch it. So you can go in the wilderness and be all right. I think the fans know that they've had a good run. They look at Chara. He looks like a fucking statue at this point. He's only got what? One more year left, right?

Yeah. So like, yeah, of playing. He's only, he's four million bucks next year. You can get something for him. I think it's okay now to admit, you know, put Bruce Cassidy in that job for a couple years until he gets fired. He's coached all those young guys anyway. And then just go in the tank for a couple years. Not in the tank, but just not, you know, try to sign David Backus for five years and pretend that that's a good idea. Right.

Again, this goes back to my whole Don Swinney's a coward thing, is he doesn't want to fully commit to a rebuild when he gets there. And now here we are two years in. They're in the same spot they've been in the last two years where they're on the fringe of the playoffs. like a real GM who was just like you know he stuck through his gun real GMs of genius

you'd be like look we're blowing this shit up and we're shipping out we're shipping out Char we're shipping out Krati we're shipping out anyone we can get for value that's long term on our cap that's not going to help us

win a cup during the course of their contract which of course goes back to Chiarelli who you know is the blame for most of this ship because he overpaid all of his guys to maintain a team that obviously was going to age out of contention but whatever it's fine I wanted to bring up something

about the Super Bowl before we get to Pete the retailer, I guess, which is that we all, I mean, we all are in agreement here in Pucksup Nation that run, run, run, kick, and then the Falcons are your Bull Champions. Fucking, they were at the 22. You hand off three times and lose three yards. And hand up off the middle. The first

play they ran from the 22, on the Patriots 22 with like, well, a scant like four minutes left in the game or some shit? Like, maybe a little bit more than that, right? Yeah. But still, it was 2820. It was 2820. It just scored. And Was it either Tevin Coleman or Freeman

broke off like a 50-yard run First play from scrimmage got down there Then Jones makes the crazy catch Amazing catch And you're just you're set up It's 2820 You're in field goal range Matt Bryant

I think missed one field goal All year from inside 40 yards Right Like you're you've won I was sitting there I'm like wow I predicted a 31 21 final This is awesome I'm gonna be within one point of the final score

I said to myself Yeah And then nope And then they drop back to throw One series after they drop back to throw Any sack fumbled They ran a pitch on the first play which is, for those of you to don't follow football,

a running play in which you can, you're gambling that you won't lose yardage. That's fine, though, because they run it. They won't that play a lot. Yeah, but you've also gained massive yardage running it through the middle of the line. So do that three times and kick the damn ball. Oh, and here's an idea,

and I say this as a Jets fan who's been in therapy for at least the last 10 years because of Tom fucking Brady. The thing you don't want to give Tom Brady is two things. This is all you got to do with beat the Patriots. As you a Giants fan know, you get in his face

they did that which they didn't do it overtime well they had run 93 plays at that point so guys were done so they were done and then the other thing you do is it's very simple you don't give him clock you take the clock away from him and if he doesn't have clock he can't come back and beat you

that's the thing is like think about how they were down 283 think about all the stuff that had to go their way just to force overtime with 40 seconds to go You had to get sack fumbled inside your own 30 You had to have him People forget this too Because there's so much crazy shit

Twice he got hit as he was throwing The ball fluttered in the air And not only was the ball caught It was caught like 15 yards downfield by Bennett And like 30 yards downfield by Edelman The Mett catch where it was like an inch off the ground And so Like it was it like

All that happened And they still had to go to overtime When the coin toss And in this day and age People never want to say a team choked I honestly haven't seen Edelman face down looking that lucky since I saw some chick's Instagram but listen the point

is that what's wrong I know you're going see your eyes light up when it when it's on you it was like someone put a piece of a piece of chocolate cake in front of me the uh yeah it was the worst and here's the thing like there was a huge debate about

you know we really need to move past this as a sports media this idea of like teams choking you know teams win teams don't choke no listen sometimes they choke sometimes they joke this team choked. Like, it's not a choke every single time the team blows a leap.

Like, the Warriors, everyone wants to say they choked. I feel like they choked the last two minutes of game seven. The rest of the time, like, LeBron was like, fuck this. I'm taking over. Bruins Leifes, game seven. I feel like the Bruins, I don't know if I think the Leafs choke that came away. Maybe once I got the overtime, they seized up a little bit. Bruins Flyers series.

Yeah. Yeah, that was choke. Was it? I don't, I didn't watch that series. King Sharks. King Sharks series. That was a joke. Vancouver Partial

Vancouver Game 7 It's not a choke When fucking Jared Stahl Cancusses Mark Edward Flassick and misses him through He misses three games But it's okay to call things Like this Atlanta Falcon thing is a choke

And it's not And to me the players Didn't choke The coaching staff Yeah Kyle Shanahan Chalk and then said I'm going to San Francisco

And then they fired Yeah Because you know what You know what teams don't do They don't make the Super Bowl And then fire The Defensive Coordinator Because the sheer will

Of the other team Was too overwhelming For him to handle No it's because the defense Fucked up It fumbled away all victory. No, this is so not the defense's fault. The defense couldn't hold the lead.

The defense couldn't hold the lead because the offense couldn't hold the ball for more than 60 seconds. They go three and out and give the ball back in 45 seconds. You can't be on the field for 99 plays and keep your pass right now. Listen, I know we're having a really Israeli-Palestinian debate right here, but I think I can bring us together. I think we bring us together. The whole team choked. How about that?

No, I genuinely think Kyle Shanahan-Callon plays. Got too fucking worried about the Patriots coming back, which ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy because he kept calling plays that saved time that allowed them the time to come. Seriously, they were down 25 points. They were down four scores with 22 minutes to go. And seven points ago.

Four scores and 22 minutes ago. Kyle Shanahan shit his pants. And cost me my bet when I had the Falcons Plus 3. Oh, no. The real anger is found. I won 60 bucks in a fantasy league and I lost 60 bucks on the bet. Um, favorite commercial?

Or at least his least favorite, easier in your world of hate. The walking one was good. The Spuds McKenzie one was fucking too long. The Spuds McKenzie one is bad. You know why? Because the people who made that commercial assumed that there are people our age

that don't remember Spuds McKenzie, let alone any millennial that doesn't know who Spuds McKenzie is. And of all the things to bring back from like the past, like Spuds McKenzie, like, I don't want to think about a dead dog while I'm drinking beer. Yeah, a dead dog who died of drinking too much beer. Let's be honest

There was more The Cam Newton one was good The Cam Newton one I think is the most Underrated of the day to be honest He was like that one didn't get nearly enough love The Audi one with the girl in the soapbox racer Was great, maybe a little teary eye Because I have a daughter

That was the one where like women don't get equal pay Of course you don't remember that one You fucking misogynist Patriarchy I don't remember actually seeing the Bud one That everyone talked about during the game Oh the founder of Budweiser And the Immigrant Journey

Oh Christopher Walkin doing bye bye bye That was great. It was very good. I enjoyed that one thoroughly. The ghost dog was bad. The kangaroo one people liked, I don't even remember the kangaroo one for Yellowtail. Yeah. The fucking egg.

Fuck you, TurboTax. I'm like, what, why don't I want to see a runny egg falling out of a cracked egg shell? Is that, wait, who did, who was that Humpty Dumpty? Yeah, it was a Humpty Dumpty. That was terrible. There was one before the Super Bowl where he falls off the wall on this one during it where he's getting medical treatment. It's so easy. Just like, here's the thing.

It's really easy, folks. Cute animals. low-brow concept don't go high concept in the Super Bowl you don't have to do that you know it was one of the biggest grossing Super Bowl ads of all time two women fighting in a fountain in lingerie

for Bud Light or whatever that was I don't remember that one yeah that was before commercials before beer commercials had to all involve dogs or horses or immigrants now do you like Lady Gaga I like Lady Gaga

she was fine the whole Super Bowl was fine except for the Patriots winning it let's be honest last 45 minutes all right when we come back Falcons. We're going to talk about the flat cap.

We're going to talk about the winners of our contest. And we're going to talk about the naked chalupa. But here... Oh, and we're also going to do reader mail. But here is Pete the retailer of the Star Wars Minute, making his triumphant return to the podcast after his previous appearance was destroyed by the static monster. Yeah, fucking static monster.

We'll be right back. Pete the retailer. You may know him from pithorretailor.com, but you may also know him from the Star Wars Minute. Welcome back to Puck Soup. We've referenced this on the podcast before, but you were on an episode that doesn't exist because when you were on, we had massive technical difficulties

and it sounded like this. So Pete, Star Wars, pretty good, eh? Which is actually what the dialogue from Roe 1 sounds like, too, if you're paying attention. I was just answering on a head of youths the whole time, so that's why you couldn't. We're already in it. I don't know what that means.

You know what hiddies. Huddies is the job of the hut language. Oh, ho. Yes, it's all laughing. It's also Santa's language. It could go either way. Bring me rogue one. Oh, oh, ho.

I bring toys to girls and boys. Job of the hut was a sad clause. Bring me rogue one. For Christmas. That's what I want, the blue ray. movies for the next 10 years. Oh, right. You didn't like it, right?

Sometimes when Lozo drops sci-fi references, he seems like a dad trying to play action figures with his kids. Oh, I'm Darth Vader. Bring me the rogue one. The rogue one. You want to know what you sound like? What do I sound like? My ass.

Oh, no. It says, help. There's too much Taco Bell in here. I'm smothering under beans. Oh, we got to talk about that. Either when we're done with Peter. Peter, are you a Taco Bell fan? I have been.

there was one around the corner from my office there was one so it was like I don't have to cross any streets if I get late in the day I'm hungry I just run down there and get some Taco Bell you and I both thought he was going to talk about an incident they closed it it was a combo kind of Dunkin' Onuts Taco Bell and Duncan Onus just totally annexed and took over I thought there might have been like an accident situation that caused you and finally examine your life and say what am I doing

I had that two times ago at Taco Bell not the last time when I had the what's the new chicken naked chicken have you had the naked chicken I had it. All right, we'll talk about that later. That's what we got to talk about. We don't want to waste feet. Although, I would love to hear the story about the Dunkin' Donuts conquered the Taco Bell.

It's just like one morning. It's just like there was a revolt. They're just like, come on, everybody. And they just start pelting them with Boston creams until the Taco Bell people leave. It's the coffee. The coffee is what makes the Taco Bell go bad. If you have Taco Bell and you have coffee to it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Coffee's like, Mentos and Diet Coke. Wow. We're going to high school science experiments now. I had Diet Coke with my Taco Bell. enormously huge diarrhea Is that right, Mikey? What did you do?

Dog number two for like 44 minutes Really gross Number two on the San Francisco Giants Aquis with the great Atlee Hamaker A dog My poop was about as big as Atley Hamaker's arm Pete, are you a Mike Francesa fan?

Are you an FAN fan here in New York? No, not specifically. It's not shedding a tear that he's going to be off FAAN beginning soon, I think, right? Like, real soon, right? Breaking news to me. I don't know that was a... Yeah, he's leaving FAA to go do something else.

There's talk he might have his own podcast, a la Tony Kornheiser, but it's no longer that. And I heard someone lamenting the idea. It was actually Richard Deich of Sports Illustrators, like their media critic, was talking about Francesa leaving, and apparently the rumor has been floated that Chris Christie might take over WFAN afternoons with like a co-host. Wow. Just fucking kill me.

Yeah. Purely for spectacle, I would like that. I'd like to be like, what the hell is that about? But no, I never got into sports radio, really, somehow. I don't know what. It's because you're an Iowner fan. They never talk about the Islanders on Sports Talk Radio ever. You know, boomers telling them how much he hates them.

Right. Yeah. It does kind of, it's not a very welcoming feeling when you're listening to Sports Talk. That's, I mean, but then again, it's like being a hockey fan and listening to Sports Talk Radio. It's like they never talk. It's like the most frustrating thing for me growing up was, you know, listening to Mike and the Mad Dog every afternoon for like five hours. Eventually the show was like eight hours long, I think. And then like you'd wait and

wait and wait and then finally they'd get like hockey news on and it would be like, commission a guy, Batman joining us. So Gary, Gary, what are the, wait, the Ranger's going to win this year or what? And just like, come on, man. Dog, we got Joey and Jersey. Go ahead, Joey.

Hey, you like Martin Bredor to win the Vezina? Dog, what's the Vezina? Well, Mikey, I believe it's a reference to your days Vezner, I believe was a reliever for the Sabinezico Giants. Ah, dog.

Bro, Dora's a goalie. He's not going to win that a war. He's not a relief goalie. He's a start goalie. Jeter. Speaking of relief goalies. Did I bring this up last time I was here? When the Islanders were having their three-goly kind of three-headed monster.

Three-headed monster. You're the King Godora of goleys. If only. Is that a Star Wars reference? That was a Godzilla reference. That was a Godzilla, yeah. I kept talking, telling everybody that would listen that I was like, why don't they have, like, you know, either Grice or JFB should be, like, a closer.

Because we kept blowing all these late periods, like, late game leads. Like, Halak could play, you know, fine for two periods. And then near the end, it would just be like, oh, sorry, we have two minutes left to play. I'm going to kind of take a nap for a second. It is kind of interesting in the sense that they, I have seen teams swap out goalies for the shootout. Right. So it's not completely unprecedented that you'd swap out goalies for certain things. The idea of a guy only being able to carry the freight for two periods

and you put in the closer goalie. I like it. Dallas did that against the Rangers in that 7-6 game. Like Carrey Lenten came in and made like 14 saves and eight minutes to preserve this. That was a legitimate save opportunity and he closed it. I think Pete's on to something here. Hockey closers. Hockey closers, yeah, I like it.

Because maybe there's some stat that someone can tweet at us after the podcast in which there's a goalie who's atrociously bad in the first period. Turn him into a hockey. Turn it to a hockey closer. Just like there's a starting pitcher who can't pitch more than five minutes. is because he just sucks. I like it. I like it.

You're innovating hockey. There you go. So speaking of innovating hockey, one of the reasons we wanted to have you back, obviously, is threefold. I wanted to say we're sorry for ruining the show. Making you waste your day. Making you waste your whole day. Or whatever this is.

On digital media. The second thing is, obviously, to congratulate you, because the firing of Jack Capuano has been like paddles to the heart of your beloved Irelander. By the way, Pete's wearing an Islander's hat joining Keith Olberman in the pantheon of people wearing the swag of the team that they're talking about. Well, Anthony Weiner came in here wearing nothing but a sock. A sock on his wiener.

We didn't say anything at the time because it wasn't a visual medium, but... I figured that's why my other episode got lost. Maybe it was some kind of cyber attack by Anthony Wiener, you know, he's savvy to that kind of a thing. We were like, were you coming back from like the locker room or something? He's like, no, a Skype session. But like, so the thing is, so the islanders are right back in the thick of things under Doug Waite. what did you think of the firing? And what do you think of the newly revitalized Islanders in this playoff race?

I love it. I thought they were, you know, he wasn't, Jack Capitana wasn't all the problems, but he was a big, like he was kind of like a, like in baseball, you have like quadruplea players, you know, like guys who are like, yeah, they're too good for minor leagues. But like if you bring up to the bigs, they're all right, they can, you know, they can catch a ball, but they're not going to do anything great. And he's like that for a coach. He was great to when the team was nothing, you know, for a rebuilding thing.

He was basically like a glorified HL coach. So, sure. Putting the team together, doing the rebuild thing, but he wasn't going to get them to that next level. I always felt that he got more of a break and got more rope than he deserved because he looked like everybody's like Italian uncle. Right. Wait, how does I get you a break? Like he looked like a, everybody figured everybody else was thinking he was somebody else's brother-in-law. So he was like, I guess we can't fire him.

He was somebody's brother-in-law. What I'm trying to say is that he was overachieving for his look. Like, you look at Paul Maurice. He looks very scholarly. He's thin sort of Niles Craneish, wearing glasses. You assume he's going to be a good hockey coach. You look at a guy like Joel Quenville. He looks like the vice principal in your school you're scared shitless of.

You figure he's going to be a good hockey coach. Jack Capuano looked like a guy who kind of just like you find sleeping next to your car. Hey, buddy, listen, you want a good deal on some of you? radials. You come see Jack, all right? Jack's going to take hair. I've got the best rates in all Long Island. He dropped the weight, his suits, and he had sort of Sean Spicer's suit, got it kind of going on after a while.

His hair was always sort of like in an Italio Fro kind of way. He just didn't fit the mold of a hockey coach. And because he got the Islanders into the playoffs multiple times and did better than maybe what appearances would tell you to expect, I always felt like he was given more

credit to the Dersk. He looked like Blutarski. And then he was a good hockey coach. He made no money. It's weird to look at, like, if you look at all the stats, like, you know, like Islanders, my headphones just went out. Yeah, my iPhone just went out too. Oh, fine. You're fine. Sure? We're still good? Yeah, of course. What'd you do? Would you click?

I'd do nothing. Go ahead. All right. If you look at all the stats, like the Islanders, you know, it's like most wins by a coach and, like, you know, highest winning percentage by a coach. Like, he shows up on all those things just because, like, you know, the Islanders had a merry-go-round for years. Like Corey Crawford's, like the third winningest

whole time there in Chicago Blackhawks history. It's just a matter of how bad your history. Yeah, just how long a guy stays there for. Right. Yeah, he had a little bit of longevity. But I, you know, he was always the guy who had to go before you got the guy. I guess the question is, do you think Doug Waite's the guy? I don't know that Doug Waite wants to be the guy. I mean, I'm totally happy with where they're going now. It seems like from what he said, I don't know that he wants, you know, because he's got that kind of dual role. He's like assistant GM and now acting, you know, interim head coach. Yeah. It's a way to decision.

Was it worth the weight? I guess we'll have to wait and see. I mean, the waiting is the hardest part. Oh, yeah. I mean, if they get rid of them, you know, you could say that they were overweight. That's true. You could say that. But again, I think they've dug this hole for themselves.

Oh, you see what I did? I went the other way with the name. The other name. His name's Doug. Yeah, I did. I dug that. Thank you. Oh, thank you.

I think he's a, I think what you're seeing now is the classic. They're doing the same. shit, but if there's a different voice, and these guys like that voice better than Capuano's voice. And the one thing I'll say about it, though, and I'm wondering what you think about this as an Islander fan. Like, John Tavares has picked up the pom-poms for this guy pretty quickly. He's basically said, like, I think he's doing a good job. And I say to myself, he said Jack Capuano is doing a good job, too. Do you think, but do you think Tavares, as an Islander fan, I think there's been a lot of sort

of, like, importance placed on Tavares behind the scenes. Because everybody, Toronto who writes about the Islanders that never watches an Islander game or has ever spoken to Tavares. They all say, you know, they're all trying to figure out a way to get him to... Yeah, they're all trying to get him into Toronto. So the question is, is how much sway do you think he holds? Like, if Tavaris went to John Ladeke and Scott Malkin and said, I think that Doug Wade should be the coach next year.

Is Doug Wade the coach next year? If he wants it? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he's that important. It's all... There's so many weird, there's so many balls in the air with ownership there. Like, there's, you know... Like, the stadium thing, too? just a mess again.

Do you think the people of Hartford will welcome him there? Oh, Jesus. All right, let's get right to it. 2019 is the question. The third reason you wanted you back besides the apology and congratulating you on the Islanders coming back from the dead is, of course, the fact that you're getting kicked out of your arena in two years. The Barclay Center did not include the Islanders in their budget for, I think, 2018-19,

which was an indication to all that the Islanders are no longer going to be there. There is an out-clause in the lease. This would jive with these sort of news that came out last year, where the Islanders owners were all of a sudden sniffing around arena sites outside the city field now it's at belmont park um so they don't seem long for barclays but there's also been speculation that this whole thing was a a giant negotiating ploy by the arena to get a better deal with the islanders if now let's start with the basic bare bones question for an islanders fan such as yourself p the retailer do you like barclays center i like that i can walk there from my house um i don't like you know

I did the politics behind it. Like, I was against it for a long time. Against it being there? Yeah. Oh, okay. So. Because of the Russian? Hello.

The Russian saved us a little bit, but he's a little. We build three in the, they build next to Target. It's all kinds of things. You know, they kick people out of their homes and all this other stuff. And they, you know. Yeah, we only reserve that ship. We only reserve that ship for the Olympics. Right.

That's the only time it's palatable. So there's a lot behind it. But currently, you know, the fact that two of my teams play there, it's been like, oh, great, I can just walk over and, like, move on the way home. You know, it's like, compare, you know, at the Coliseum, if I was leaving work and wanted to go to an Islander's game, I had to go through MSG. So I got to go, like, walk through a sea of Ranger fans to get to Penn Station to take a train out. And it was like, okay. Shame. Shame.

Shame. Shame. Look at this jackass in his Tavares jersey. The fuck out of here. And the fucking LIR. I have a bunch of blank jerseys, the only name and number jersey that I have. actually own Garstneau.

No shit. Yeah. That's so funny. That's my go-to. Because I figured, you know... Did you make a 15-year deal yourself to wear that jersey? Like, why do you still have that jersey?

I still believe in Garth Snow. Oh, my God. He's made... You know, he's made deal with what he's been given. It's not always, you know, not 100%. He's not batting a thousand, but he's doing... He's doing okay for a guy. He's got a top five pick for like 90% of it.

Yeah, not so good. I want to pause on this for a second because you're also a Nets fan. Yes. I'm a Nets fan, too, and I was thinking about... this the other day and I'll lay this on you. When I became a Nets fan, I became a Nets fan at a time when the team was hot garbage. Like, their best player was basically Chris Morris. Oh, nice.

I mean, Chris Morris, Dennis Hopson, Joe Barry Carroll, Buck Williams. Like, that's when I was a Nets fan. And then, yeah, and then they got, well, that was actually a little bit further down, but that's when they started getting better. Derek Coleman, Kenny Anderson, Droz and Petrovich. Yeah, that's when they started to, like, make the playoffs and shit. But I've always said to myself that, like, in order to really become a real fan of any team,

you've got to be there in the downtime. You can't simply just know success, because you'll never, you have to live and die with your team. You die during the bad years, you know, maybe you make the playoffs, but you get your asses handed to you. And then,

uh, then it becomes a part of you. You know, it becomes ingrained in you. It becomes a part of your life that you can't expunge. So, so the kid from the Patriots parades that has the signs that's like, I'm 10 years old,

eight parades and 15 years old, 11 parades. You, you throw that kid out of flight as day. They know nothing. They know, they know nothing. It's,

It's like a kid who was born eight years ago who's like, wait, Republicans can be president, too? It's like, yeah. It's like Geoffrey on Game of Thrones. It's completely everything handed to him his whole life.

It's probably horrible. They know nothing except, except joy, which makes me load them even more. The Patriots fans, not the Democrat. Now, the thing is,

is I've always said this about fans, and I've experienced it myself. As a Devils fan, as a Nets fan, I continue to experience it every year as a Jets fan. But I'm one, I've not been a Nets fan, since they fucked up the team

and traded all those first round picks and tried to buy not even a championship but like something they weren't going to win with Garnett and Pierce and who's the other the third guy Jason no Jason Terry he wasn't part of it

just Garnett and Pierce let's just leave it there they weren't going to oh Johnson from the Joe Johnson so like they were never going to win anything with those guys there maybe make some noise in the playoffs but they sacrificed the future to get there so I was very angry with this team but at the same time I've been thinking about recently

to get back into the Nets now would be to be at that point when I was a kid where they sucked ass. And like I'm going to have to wait a little bit for them to win again, but in order to have that fulfillment of them being good eventually, I should probably get back in on it now.

This year is, well, I'm not saying it's a good year to watch them because they're still bad, but last year I took this season off because it was the last year was the bottom out. Yeah. And this year's the one slight step back up where they're kind of like putting something back together.

And it's a new GM, all self-inflicted. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But that was, I mean, I don't like feeling it now. But, like, at the time, it was like, I, well, they, you know, basically moving into the neighborhood, they wanted to, like, mark their territory and make a name for themselves. They were like, yeah, with black piss.

Right, yeah. Black and white piss. So it was like, they want, you know, having those guys put their names on the papers a little bit on the back pages from time to time. You know, they wanted to make a splash. I get it, but they totally, yeah. A splash of black and white pants. A splash.

Yeah. your lad contract. They were just like, we gotta, we gotta make a splash. Let's pay this 32 year old man way too much money for way too long a period of time.

Yeah. Well, that was too much. And I wasn't, you know, I wasn't fully against that. I wasn't fully for it. I was like,

all right, well, it seems like everybody, you know, it's like that kind of middle draft pick where it was just say, yeah,

everybody agrees that this guy's, you know, number 12, so we'll just take them. So it's like, everybody agrees that this guy should be on the islanders

and we're supposed to be here. He wants to be there. He wants to be there. He wants to get the money. And it's not, you know. That's your boy, Garth. He's got obstacles trying to get, you know, free agents every year. Like trades and free agents, like, it doesn't always work in his favor because people don't want to play.

Like, it started, you know, for years with the Coliseum, people were like, oh, it's a dump. I don't really want to play there. And then, like, you know, people would show up and not want to play. Like, you know, Nabokov and Viznovsky both were just like, you know, once they were traded there, they're like, I'm not showing up. It took some talking to, and then they were like, oh, no, I like it here. Like, you know, it's not, the state that the franchise has been in is not, you know,

appealing to anybody. And that, I guess, going back to Barclays Center, like, that's part of the gig, right? Like, the fact is, is that it's a better arena in its innards than NASA is, except for the fact that it's not built for hockey in their seats where you can't see a third of the ice. And except for the fact that the practice facility

is, like, nowhere near the arena now, too, right? They tried, I think, to do something closer, but everybody complained because they all still live in, like, yeah, no one lives in Brooklyn. So now they practice out in Nassau County and then they bus in so. It's not advantageous to the players to play there based on

where they're going to live. The fan base doesn't come there, like they would for an arena in Nassau. So it was kind of a mistake to go there. But now the question is if you get kicked out, if the thing is done, what's the alternative?

Like, first, let's deal with this Hartford thing. It's horseshit. Every few years, these idiots in Connecticut, they put out a press release or something, and it's like the governor of Connecticut goes, oh, you know what? I spoke to President Obama today about the whale coming back, folks. Huh? Look who's doing hard lifting here. And it's just horseshit. It's all horseshit.

They're never coming back to Connecticut. Okay. But when they do, are you still going to? Are you still going to be a? a fan? Are you going to bail? Like, what's your thought process when you think of yourself, hey, Hartford Islanders? It's still close. You can get there if you wanted

to. Yeah. You know, every once in a while, I do, like, there's a certain appeal to, like, you mentioned the Jets before. It's just having, you know, I didn't grow up watching football and I married into a Niners family. So it's like, oh, once I was talking, again, talk about going for the rough patches to earn your family. The last, like,

12 years or so. I was in that, like, starting with Alex Smith. Is she okay? Oh my God, that's so sad. But so that having that's like, okay, my team's coming to town, you know, like, okay, next year on this day. Like having like one, you know, spot to mark on the calendar that's like, I'm going to go be a fan this day. Like, it's, I can see the appeal of that. So if the, if the Islanders were further away, but then they, you know, like everyone, when they'd come to play the devils or the Rangers, I'd be like, okay, here are my games that I'm going to, definitely. But when you say further away.

Like, like, okay. I was going to say, like, not Quebec. I don't know. It's tough. I don't know what I would do if they moved to Quebec. Like, what the hell are they going to do, though? Like, let's get back on it. Like, they're not going to Hartford. Right.

Nassau is doing the same thing Hartford does, which is having every politician all of a sudden be like, oh, come home, baby. When you couldn't get a fucking thing done to keep them there. And now you have Ledecki and Malkin, the owners of the Allenders talking about building an arena at City Field or building an arena at Belmont Park. And at some point, you know, listen, R. Kelly can only play so many places, okay? He's got Norke. He's got MSG. He's got Barclays. Another arena at Belmont Park.

Like, there is no need for another arena in this area to build one there. That's the, so of course, it's all changing all the time that I heard that, you know, as soon as they were like, yeah, we're looking at places. And then Barclays is like, all right, great, you can go, you know, at the end of the next season, go, you know, have fun, kids, do whatever you want. And then as soon as they started kind of, you know, talking a little bit more seriously, then because the same, the, the, the, the, the. Ratner, the same ownership group that, you know, built Barclays also is doing the Nassau Coliseum renovations. And they were like, wait, we don't want them to build another arena. Like, if we don't want competition, we just don't want them playing there. So, like, what now they're thinking about going back and kind of...

The amazing thing would be seeing how they could redo the Coliseum to add enough seats to make it. They could add a few thousand seats to Nassau, but it would have a smaller capacity than Barclays, which has the second smallest capacity in the NHL. Right. It just, it boggles the mind that it could happen that way. What's the Quebec capacity in that arena? It's 55,000 fans. Quebec?

A game, yeah. That's how crazy they are for hockey. It's like bigger than the football stadium in Jacksonville. Oh, you're doing a bit. Yeah, I can do it a bit. What do you think was 55? I don't know what the capacity is, but I know that other than Winnipeg, Nassau and Barclays would be the smallest, the smallest venues in the NHL.

I mean, think about it. Like, in this area, there's essentially two basketball teams, two football teams, two baseball teams, and those are sports people care about. Well, how the fuck are there three hockey teams? in this area. How is that a sustainable situation? It was, it was sustainable when they were all in different places. Yeah, but they're not anymore. So you're now going to throw them

all the way out on Long Island or throw them next to City Field? So you're saying that one of them should leave? I think one of them should leave. But should it be the Islanders? I think the Devils and Islanders should have an American gladiators battle somewhere. A lot of people don't know this. And I may have referenced this on the show before, but I found

articles in the 1980s and I was researching this Devils project once that said that the capitals and devils actually discussed in the 80s, a merger, a combination of their teams where they'd end up playing, but like they talked about, both teams were struggling financially, they talked about merging the franchises. Oh, they would play in that city in Pennsylvania where, um, no, no, no, it was an episode of 30 Rock where Alec Baldwin is dating, what's her name?

Oh, yeah. And they'd be, like, halfway halfway. Yeah, right. That's where they would play. That's funny. Yeah. But that, so you're saying, I would, I would be in favor of a Devil's Islander's merger, only because I think, you know, Taylor Hall could really use Tavares.

Right, yeah. And you got, you know, between the two of them, you can probably fill an arena. Go Schneider Grice, one, two. Oh, fuck, combine them right now. Yeah. Just, like, can we do that for the rest of the season? Next year, I guess, next season? There's two fucking...

We'll call them the Nors'Nalsh Island. The Nork. No, the Nork. De Vylund. The Norkland. The Norkland Coliseums. Devilders. The Norkland.

Oh, fuck. Well, the Norkland. Listen, their name would be the Chico's. Let's be honest here. You know the name would be the Chico's, whatever they're going to be. We're like, tickets would go on sale. They'd be like, tickets are available for $75. Oh, no, hold on.

They're available for $50. Oh, Doc, look right there. No, no, it's 75. Actually, it is 75 if you look right here. My partner, obviously, was blinded by the grace of a premium sausage. God, I love Chico, but Jesus was he bat. Him and the islanders. Talking about the islanders.

So my preference would be. City Field because I'm also a Mets fan. We've discussed all the losing teams that we like. Train it out there. Yeah. I'm familiar with that, you know, slog and it's totally fine. And, you know, build it next to City Field, build it, like, kind of in that, you know, where Shave Stadium was, basically.

And then I don't know what ghosts they would get. Belmont is just not feasible. Like, I go out there for the Belmont once in Blue Moon getting out of there. It's different. It's like 80,000 people. Although going to Belmont during the week's pretty easy because ain't nobody going to month or in a week. Yeah.

But, like, driving out there at 5 o'clock, though? A lot of the old fan base back, because they don't want to, you know, they are scared of outside things and they don't like to go to, you know, Brooklyn because they're afraid they're going to get mugged. And so they'll, you know, they'll drive places as long as they have their, you know. I like the idea that building a new arena where Shea Stadium used to be, the out underscored the first goal on opening night at the new arena. And the ghostly apple and the top hat comes out from center ice and cracks the ice.

Burst through the ice. It's got like a weird kind of like. And then you call the. real Ghostbusters and not the girl Ghostbusters because they ruined my childhood. They need Ghostbusters. I like the idea of people worried about being mugged by some guy in skinny jeans in Brooklyn who's

on like a scooter. All right, listen. All right, all right. Before we get to, by the way, so we solved it. So we apologize to you. Right. And thank you. Congratulations you for wait. And we decided that we're going to combine the devils and the

Islanders into one team, the Chikos. And they're going to play in both places. Just put the home dates, yeah. Orgy is playing in Jersey. I mean, it's pretty easy to get to Jersey, right? It's not bad. 20 in Jersey, 20 in Brooklyn, and one outdoor game at Giant Stadium. Best thing at the Rock are those urinals where they have the little devil's leg on?

I was so enamored by that. Like, when I first, I went to the opening night game against the Ottawa Senators at the Rock, and I walked in, and after playing in the Meadowlands for years and years and years, and it was just a shit hole and also being a Jets fan going to Giant Stadium, nothing made me happier than seeing a devil's logo on a pisser. I'm just like, we finally have our own place. This is what I want. This is why I'm excited kind of about the prospect.

Even though I can walk to Berkeley Center now and I can just, you know, like after the game, I can just stroll home. But having a place that's ours after years of kind of uncertainty. And, you know, the Coliseum was built with a couple of different things in mind. So it was, you know, primarily the Islanders for a long time, but it wasn't built just for them. So like having just like a new Islander's place that's just for Islanders. And look, you can see the ice from everywhere. And, like, you know, novel things like that. I'm excited about that.

They don't sign John Tavares. They're going to sign. He wants to stay. He's an Islander for life. All these guys want to see it through. The other day, I pictured the future without him, and I was okay with it in a way. Okay. Okay with it.

Why? You think he would trade him in like a Lindrosian-type return? I mean, if they, you know, again, new owners, if they want to do their thing and kind of ruin the franchise. Start over from scratch. If they get a new arena, they wanted to come. to start from scratch, kind of do another iteration of the rebuild. I can see it. I'm not in favor of it, but I can see it.

And I'm just preparing myself for another, you know, letdowns. It depends on where they are next year. It could be like Stamcoast, where the Islanders are a contender and they can't trade him. Right. Or maybe they'll be terrible. And they'll just say, all right, let's give us Nylander. Let's just, come on, let's make a deal. That wouldn't work. Last year, all those pictures, like that Stamcoast time and all those, like, everybody was like, look at this.

And they're sending pictures around of like, it's embarrassing stampco's hanging around when they were kids. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, more of this. Yeah, they're friends. They totally have sleigh over each other, right? Bring them here. Pete the retailer is, of course, co-host of the Star Wars Minute. That's why we've had them on. I've done the Star Wars Minute twice.

The first time was to talk about a dead Ewalk. At the time, it was the longest episode in Star Wars Minute history. It made me the happiest boy in the world to own that record for a short period of time. And then I came on for a week to talk about Jar Jar Binks and also Quigon getting killed during the Phantom Menace. It is one of my favorite podcasts, and I get so excited that people, every time I go on the movies, iTunes rankings, you guys are up there. You've got a very dedicated and loyal listenership. It makes me very happy.

Having a new Star Wars movie come out every year has been helping. It does a little bit. We get like a little kind of November push, and then now we're trailing off a little bit. I gauge where we are based on where Ellen is in film and TV. Right now we're below Ellen, so I'm a little bit. Oh, well, there you go. get back on top of Ellen. Now, do you, do you,

wait, what? Ellen. Oh, oh, geez. Wow. Ann H says hi. So the, the thing that's, do you think people like your, your podcast more

when you're doing the great nostalgia of the good movies or the snarky badness of the bad movies? Hmm. We do get a surprising number of people complaining that we're being too harsh on the prequels, which is...

Because of this really fucked up sort of revisionist history that's happening with the prequels where people are like defending their virtue. Right. No, it's because Star Wars fans

love everything that's Star Wars whether it's good or bad. No, it's because you have a collection of Star Wars fans that are now becoming of age, mid-20s, something like that, who grew up with the prequels. And so their nostalgia

for the prequels is my nostalgia for the original films. Yeah, you know, we're trying not to be, you know, nobody just wants to hear just like, oh, this is shit over and over again,

you know, a full week. So we try to kind of find the, you know, the good stuff when we can, but there's a lot of... The guy who drew Jar Jar Jar, I was really talented. He worked hard on that.

It's frame by frame. Yeah. So now that you're need deep in the festering wound that is attack of the clones, where is your overall ranking right now of the Star Wars films? I feel like there has to be like a...

You know, it's like a Hall of Fame or something. We need a little induction. There has to be a little gap before the other movies can be ranked. Like the newer ones can be ranked within their. So you have a waiting period. Yeah, because they, you know, they're too new. They're too exciting.

Did you like the Force Awakens or Rogue One better? I liked Rogue One a little better. I feel like Force Awakens starts out great and then has some parts that I didn't like as much. And Rogue One has, I like that, I like that upward build better than that kind of like downward slope. So it's like, you know, slowly builds, builds, builds, builds into a crescendo. I like that. Dave and I have discussed this. And while I appreciate your crescendo comparison,

I think Dave and I both feel like it's like when, if you took, if you mapped it out, walking from your car through the front gate at Great Adventure, through the entire park, through the queue at the Great American screen machine, and then you got on the screen machine, all of that previous stuff would be the first,

what would you say, half of Rogue One? Yeah, it was a good hour and 10. and then you minutes of that movie that just... Yeah, and then you hit

the roller coaster and then you're happy. See, I'm a wimp I don't do roller coasters so every time I've been to like, you know, I was to say action park.

Great Adventure or Action Park. It's been my, that's my experience. I go, my friends all go like I just walk slowly over there.

I look at a concession, you know, maybe I'll get a churro. So your amusement park ride is basically your experience is just the first hour, 25 minutes of Rogue One and then you go home.

So that's why I liked it, maybe. Maybe I'll go in the wave pool. You know, But that's it. Like, no roller coaster. Explain to me how all these rides work, but don't actually do anything. What do you think of great adventure there, Pete?

Well, I mean, they had a nice shady spot for me to eat my churro. My friends were online with the Great American Screen Machine. That's the character charit artist. He was nice. What's the highest grade, like, amusement park ride you'd go on? Because obviously you're not a thrill-seeker. So what would be the, if you were at great adventure and someone said, you have to go on one of these thrill-seeking rides, what would be the one that you'd brave? I don't even know.

The swings? Is it a gravity thing, a tummy thing? What is it? I don't know. It's just like when I was a kid, I think once I went on like, you know, the local kind of. Oh shit. You went to like a local carnival and something broke. It was like salt and pepper shakers in the church parking lot.

Like that kind of thing. And I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. I get it. Cool. Like. The one-eyed guy with no fingers working in the Ferris wheel. And you're like, nope. I want to see the Pete, the retailer, like, trip advisor list.

It's like, great adventure, four stars, great shade, awesome slurpees, not long lines for the bathroom. This bathroom is better than this bathroom. Yeah, I still put Force Awakens ahead of Rogue One. I had more fun at Force Awakens. And the other thing, too, is that even though, I mean, by this time, everybody knows that Rogue One is a nihilistic picture in which no one, you know, is there for the sequel. even if there were, I liked the characters I was introduced to much more in the Force Awakens. And to me, these movies live and die on characters as the prequels are a testament to. And so I think I'm still a Force Awakens guy.

But you didn't like either of them, I don't think, did you? Well, the Force Awakens was good. It was just as good as a New Hope when I saw that movie the first time. And Rogue One was an absolute, to use a word Greg Wasinski used, slog for a good hour and 20 minutes. And I like Force Awakens better, but I would put Rogue One just above the prequels in terms of quality of movie. Do you have hope for the Han Solo movie made by the guys who did the Lego movie? I do. Because everybody seems to be kind of, they're like, who wants a young Han Solo movie? I'm like, no, it's not a young Han Solo. It's just like an earlier Han Solo movie. Like, it's not going to be,

I trust these guys. You know, Miller and Lord, they did a Lego movie, you know, all kinds of good stuff, they I think they know that nobody wants to see just kind of like, here's how I found the Millennium Falcon you know, and here's how I met Chewbacca. But that's the thing, though, like, but in the hands of those guys in the hands. In the hands. In the Hans, depending on

which movie it is. Yeah. It's not a solo project. It's not a solo project. Because they're both that's right. I feel like even if it becomes Spot the Reference, they'll do it in a way that's sort of unexpected and a little off kilter. Right. And that's what I'm hopeful for is that like, because you know they're going to do a fucking

how we met Chewbacca thing and a fucking how we got the Falcon thing and Landau's going to be in it but I feel like they're going to come at it from an interesting perspective. The fact that Landau's in it makes me think it's like okay, it's like later it's not like kid to Hans Solo

it's like maybe five, ten years before we... Star Wars babies, day. Exactly. The origin story of Chewbacca. Like Hans Solo meets him at a place and he sees him eating baklava and he's like, hey, you're really chewing that

Bachlava. Hey, I'm gonna call you Chewbacca. And it's like, my name is Frank. Stop calling me chewy One time you saw me eating, Han It's not funny after 30 years Jackass

I'm hopeful for it too I like all the actors in it So far that they've cast I'm glad you have hope for it Because as you know Pate Rebellions are better on hope That's like a fucking puke Every time I heard that shit

During fucking Rogue one Who's playing young Hans Solo Somebody that I don't know his name It's a dude from Hale Caesar Elden Eldridge Oldenil-Jujig. I can't think of that guy.

He's been in a few things. He's really good. He's really funny in Hell Caesar. And then Donald Glover's playing Lando. Right. Oh, that I knew. Yeah. Which guy in Hill Caesar?

He's the Clooney. He's the cowboy. He's in that amazing scene with Ray Fines. Right, right, right, right. That, where they repeat the line back and forth. He's like, the guy who's like swinging on the horse and shit. Yeah, yeah. He's really good.

So I have hope for it. Now, I haven't seen in Hale Seas. You have hope. Because rebellions are built on hope. Because sequels are built on hope. And Stalwell's feet. I see anything Armed, armed assault,

assault with a deadly weapon. Wait, Angelina and Julie? Wait, hold on. It sounds like Nigel from Spinal Tap. Oh, but, well, this is a rebellion, right? Arabelle. The best line never to be included in the movie.

I know. I rebel. That's my name, Ira. Ira. Hello, welcome this American life. Oh, Arabelle. So I have a, because, So we had a quiz for you last time you were going to be on.

All right. That we did ourselves. You ended up doing it. All right. Because the episode got fucked up. And we can't do that one again. That was Rogue One character or Finnish hockey player. But I've cooked up another one for you.

Oh, exciting. So here's an official Puck Soup quiz for Pete the retailer from the Star Wars Minute. By the way, before we go on, are you responsible for all of the other Minute podcast? Because I've put myself out there as a guest on any Midnit Podcast. that wants me. And did you spawn all of those? Are they all, do they come to you for advice on how to do it? Oh, yeah, shit.

Do you get a piece of all the minutes? You should. I, uh, when, when people first started asking us, like, because they, you know, they heard our show and they're like, that's a great idea. Can I do that for this? And we basically said, all right, it's like open source attribution. So you can totally do it for your movie. Just every once in a while, give us a shout out to tell them like, oh, I'd do this

podcast because I heard Star Wars Minute. I thought it was great. And if you start it, you have to finish it. That's the other one, because we don't want a bunch of, like, you know, half done. Somebody who's like, I thought it would be a good idea to do, you know, grease minute. And then I got 20 minutes in and I don't care anymore. So when you do a minute, you have to come back for seconds. That's right.

You have to come back for seconds when you do a minute. Yeah, exactly. That's really good. That's our responsibility. These jokes are timeless. Oh, it's nice that you demand credit, by the way, on all their podcasts. It's very imperial of you, I think. Control of the Smaller.

systems as it were. But we don't get money, but we do, I don't know. I put up a site to help keep track of them and all that. Yeah, and it's very handy. You can't force it. I am in talks with the Spinal Tap Minute. Oh, nice. I'm in talks with the Back to the Future three minute.

And I'm in talks with the National Ampoon's Christmas Vacation Minute, which emailed me and said, I don't know if you're a fan of this movie. I'm like, do you actually see you have to ask people if they're a fan of fucking Christmas vacation? I've never seen Christmas Vacation. I was talking to those guys. It's great. I mean, like, it's not great.

But it's like completely like you can go to any point in that movie and talk about it. Outside of that scene where Chevy Chase is weeping in the attic while watching the old home movies, I don't want that minute. I don't remember that part of that movie. Yeah, you probably skip past it. I think they cut it out on regular TV. Wait, by what do you mean by in talks with? Like, are you like negotiating? Well, at first I want them to at least mention our podcast.

And then the thing is if we start the interview, we've got to finish it. Like those are my only two demands. Those guys are doing an awesome thing, but they're doing, they're not minute by minute. They're doing like day by day From within the movie And I'm falling more in love with them They're doing it day by day Like the day that happens in the movie

They're covering that And they're doing it on the day Of the year And which when is this? It's the Christmas vacation one Oh really? Because it takes place over several days Oh that's right

They're not doing it by minute, right? So they're doing like December 17th And they're doing it on December 17th Because the day, the year that that movie came out What was it? 89? 89. I want to say

That calendar matches up with this year so it's the same day that it was then it's all it's it's that is cosmic it's a little bit much I was gonna say

dorky but cosmic too that works sounds a little end of days to me to be honest yeah I have all planned out on this cork board

over here connecting everything oh thanks Carrie from Homeland Star Wars planet or NHL player now I have made it because I wanted to honor you

I know that you're a Star Wars expert I did not include anything from the extended universe RIP I thought that would be

too tricky and also because those are those are legends now That's right Yeah they don't exist anymore I've heard tell of a planet called I can't even remember

Okay you can't see what I'm holding No Star Wars planet or NHL player Okay Corella Carrella Coming out of them with a fucking big fucking guns

Right off the bat It's like a curveball Because it's not Corella Is Corella I think is a hockey player Yari Karela played five games with the 1980-81

Colorado Rockies. So we've set the baseline for how cruel I'm going to be in my selection of players and also my selection of Star Wars planets. I don't think you're going to get anything past them based on how quickly he answered that. It's over.

We'll say, I don't know. Tukey. Tukey. Can I ask for a spelling or is that... T-O-O-K-E-Y. Tu-K-E-Y. Tuki. Mm-hmm.

I know. I'm not fucking around with this one. I'm going to go. NHL again. Tim Tuki played 106 games with the caps, Nords, pens, flyers, and kings in the 1980s. Nice. He's going to undefeated.

Bogdan. Bogdan. Bogdan is definitely Star Wars. It's the moons of Bogdan. Count Duku hired Django Fet to be the template of the clone army on one of this planet's moons. I mentioned in episode two, which of course is being featured

on the Star Wars and then it as we speak. Rinas. Rinas. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Reanus.

you want a spelling honey please too R Y N-N-A-S I'm gonna go N-H-L again UC-Renus Leafs and Stars 2011 to 15 it's pretty good

Brinus always I mean it sounds more like a Trek planet To be honest That's true Renus 7 or something like that Captain We've approaching Renus 7 Mortis 7 Mortis

Mortis Mortis Mm-hmm. Not the Masked wrestler from W-C-W. Oh, okay. But Mortis. M-O-R-T-I-S. I feel like that's a Star Wars planet

that we haven't gotten to yet in my show. Well, you wouldn't get it on your show because it is Star Wars planet, but it's on Clone Wars. A planet with a wall surrounding it inhabited by force wielders. That's where the world of dead bodies go, and they go into Riga Mortis.

Riga Mortis. saluced. Oh, that's the Star Wars Planet. That's a volcanic planet. Base of Imperial Factory is mentioned in Return to the Jedi. That's where nine numb is from. Just blowing you away here. Zombo.

Zombo. Isn't he an NFL player? I think he was both, actually. I'll go NHL for Zombo. Zombo, of course, is a planet of zombie battle droids. No, it's Rick Zombo, a defenseman from 1985 to 96. Wobani. Wobani.

Wobani and Star Wars. I forgot where it came from, but... But you just think, you know it's Star Wars. I've heard it recently. That's because... That yogurt that you put. You mix it yourself. You're very right.

Well, Bany is the Star Wars planet with fruit on the bottom. No, Wobani is a desolate wasteland in the site of an imperial penal colony in Rogue One, where I imagine... That's where we meet Jen Osso. It's the rebellion, right? It's just something I'm sleeping sometimes.

All rebel. I saw my family killed just like at the beginning of most movies where there's a revenge plot I haven't seen that before everybody's staying in the ship okay everybody's gonna leave the ship and help

I know that but I need to stay saying the ship for the sake of the movie I need you to be delayed going down the same path as me because otherwise it would just be six blokes walking towards the place for a sniper shot well actually no wait we're doing British when it's Diego Luna who says that

he's not British Inexplicably there's chumper teeth at the top of this library Why were on earth Would there be chomper teeth? Juzda J-U-D-A-J-D-A-J-D-A-J-D-A? J-U-D-A-M-D-A-M-J-D-A-M.

I'm going to go NHL again. That's close to the attack of the clones tagline Yodeman. Who-D-Mand, Yodeman? That came up the other day. Somebody didn't believe me. I think Alex didn't believe me. Oh, no, it's true.

That's real? You're not doing a bit? No. It was a TV. It was like the third TV ad. Yeah, it was out for a while. And then they were like, how can we get people to see this? Oh, I know.

Yoda man now, dog. They showed him, like, in the lightsaber battle at the end, they're like, who's the man? Who's the man? Yoda man. Yeah, Bill Jews, the Ranger and Leaves Player in 1940 to 1952. And finally, number 10. Sorry, I like that you said Rangers and then you said 1940. So.

I know. I got a little. I was tempted to clap. It went from three to midnight. Finally, to sweep the category, sir, Kessel. Kessel. Oh. I see what you did there. I got a run.

Both. Both is correct. The Kessel is a planet, home with the Kessel run, and of course, Amanda Kessel of the National Women's Hockey League. Well, Pete 3 Taylor, you're the best. Thanks for coming back on the podcast. I'm pretty sure this recording, right? When were you deleting this one?

It wasn't that it was deleted. It was that it was unlistenable. Now, it's a different kind of unlistenable than the other unliscible ones we've had. You can hear it, but you couldn't listen to it. Right, exactly. You can hear it. You can hear Jimmy, but you ain't listening.

Oh, God. Wow. Was that singles? No, no. What was it from? What was that was a... the Stokey brothers what was it from

I don't know come on give me one more reference you're so stupid Billy oh wait a man can't jump oh okay there you go

right anyways I just oh no I was talking about wildcats the other day that's not your mama say you ugly hey yeah

football all right what would you like to plug p3 retailer um Star Wars minute dot com that's the main that's the main

that's the only it's my only running gig right now we did Alphabet where we went through all the Beatles songs, that's over. Got some other things may be coming up, but right now, Star Wars Minute. When is the next Star Wars movie out?

When's your next big bump? December, right? Yeah, December. Yeah, they used to see every May, but now it's every December. Oh, I thought there was a summer one. No. You haven't gotten to that. Think you have Wonder Woman movie.

Oh, is there a weather movie coming out? Yeah. Boy, John Wick, the Batman Lego movie. A lot of good stuff. Transformers, the last night. Oh, my God. All the great movies are killing out. Guardians of the Galaxy 2.

Some good stuff coming out. Justice League this year, bud? Guardians of the Galaxy 2, they could have just basically, like, that, the trailer is like Star Wars. The trailer is unnecessary. It's just put up a thing. There's a new one this year. Here's $20.

It's just put up the title and just play, Ooga Chaka. You're like, oh, that's it. I'm fucking take my money. All right, Pete, you're the best for coming back. Thank you so much for joining us. And we're back. It's time to get naked, Dave Lozo. What are you playing? What is that?

I'm walking really slow in the room right now. My name is being shown in blue neon lights as I walk past beautiful, beautiful paintings. Wow. The young pod. You're so young Pope obsessed. That's pretty great. Fucking show is just genius. I love that. There was a scene last week, or the previous couple weeks, where he's talking to the Italian Prime Minister. And the Italian Prime Minister is in a suit.

And Jude Law is in... He's in his Pope's night. He's in his Pope. Yeah, but it looks like a... It looks like a beda... It looks like... Like, if Trump went into a cocoon, it looks like what the cocoon would look like.

If Trump was some sort of a caterpillar, like this white and gold bedazzled... Pod almost is what it looked like. What's so sad is is that the show is on in February. If the show is on like six months from now, everyone would be out for Halloween dressed like the Pope. Yeah. We're just different versions of Pope outfits as far as the eye can see.

Which I'm still in favor of. We should do that. As I said, though, it's time to get naked. Okay, let's get naked. Naked chalupa time. Now, do you like it? All right. My official review of Taco Bell's latest creation as a Taco Bell officiado.

And by that, I mean, and I have it every other week. I found the chicken to be juicier than expected for being a taco shell. I found it to be spicy and flavorful. Mm-hmm. I did not get it with tomatoes. I don't dig on tomatoes. I don't know if you did. I got as advertised.

But I'm like, okay, so this is great. So chicken shell is great. But inside of it is basically what you'd find on top of the meat in a regular taco. Right. It's lettuce, shredded cheese, tomato. And then what they're calling an avocado ranch sauce. Wasn't a fan of the sauce. That reminded me very much of the green goddess dressing.

that you get at like Trader Joe's and you're like oh fuck man blue cheese is so fattening seizures is so fattening what's goddess dressing and then you get it and you taste it you're like oh it's terrible I wasn't a fan of the avocado ranch um so before I tell you what I would do to fix it I will tell you that I think it's a it is an item I think it's yummy in your tummy it is it is not only for a dummy right I would I would eat it again it's probably like it would not be in my every single time I go to Taco Bell rotation. I wouldn't get it every single time.

Not a cheesy ready to crunch. Exactly. It's not at that level. But it was better than I thought it was. The thing with the chicken, I don't know exactly how they murder the chicken to get it to be flatten around in order to fit on there.

I'm guessing they just use gross-ass chicken parts and lump them all together. They thump the chicken with a club until it becomes a curved shell of a carcass. They use the Tom and Jerry frying pan on it. And then they sprinkle some fucking red crumbs on it. It was good. I'm the same way.

Like the sauce, like, I always put regular, regular old hot sauce in my gorditas, my tacos, whatever, and, like, the chicken's already hot. So I felt like it didn't really do anything for me to add the hot sauce to sort of balance out the weird sauce that comes with it. I think if you eat it straight away, by the way, you might hurt your hand because it is hot. Like, the temperature of the chicken is hot. Yeah. But, like, I eat it second after my usual appetizer of a steak cassidia. So it was not the first thing that I ate If you eat it straight away as your first item

You might actually burn your hand a little bit Yeah, it's a little too And the quality of the chicken's actually not bad Like the chicken looks like the kind of chicken you would get If you bought like pre-made Like chicken filet type things Yeah But like it's juicier, it's better, it's softer, it tastes good

I would I would say everyone should have at least one Yummy and your tummy Oh yummy in my tummy I will say this though Bernie on my butt too actually How I would fix it What do you have a birdie on your butt? Put a Bernie on it.

Put a Bernie on my butt. Yeah, how would you fix it? What would you do? It's easy. It's an easy fix. Get that bullshit avocado ranch sauce out of there. Embrace the fact that you created a fried chicken shelled taco and put jalapeno cheese sauce inside the fried chicken taco. Lettuce.

You can even keep the cheese if you want, but make the, put it right, make it a river of melted jalapeno cheese where the avocado ranch sauces, and there you have it. But because Taco Bell isn't going to embrace its inner fat guy, it has to try to make it like somewhat healthy by having avocado ranch in there. Oh, dude, you're not, that's not why they do the avocado. That's not for health purposes. Full of health purposes. If you're dipping stuff into ranch, people know you're a garbage human being and you're

filling your body with garbage. There's no pretense there at all. All right. So both yummy and my tummy for the new naked chalupa. Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to get it the next time I go, but is it limited time? It is limited time. Well, yeah, fuck the, uh, those crazy ass tacos are gone already.

The one with the sweet, the sweet, the sweet hot chili sauce and stuff. They're gone. Oh, like the Doritos ones. Yeah, too late for you, sir. I don't really like those. But, yeah, I recommend. Taco Bell, there you go, a free plug on the show. And for those asking, it's steak cassidia to kick off the meal.

Best thing you can have with that sauce inside of the cassidia. And then cheese, it's a goody to crunch. And then a rotation of other items, I would say, depending on how hungry I am. So, wait, how much stuff would you say you get? Four items. Four. Wow. I top out at three.

Well, it depends on the items. Like, are you getting fucking three caseritos? I would say I get. Because that would be completely maybe one more caseritos. than you need in life. I think I go, like, regular gordita, a burrito of some sort. I like the, I like the, um, the, uh, the potato one, the other one.

The beefy one. Yeah. Yeah. Not the supreme, but like, the one in the middle there. And then, um, yeah, like a cheese grudita crunch. Yeah, you got, like 6,000 calories and three things. Yeah, it's always good.

And I'm usually eating it in the car. So there is absolutely no exercise involved afterwards either. It's fantastic. Uh, you wrote about the flat cap this week. in one of your thousand places you write your shit. Hey, they need the content. I got to give it to them. The flat cap is not as bad as I thought it was going to be

when I sat down to write it. Like there's, I would say 20 of the teams don't have any issues. There's probably like four or five teams that have issues, but they will without question be alleviated by the expansion draft. And then there's like another four or five teams

that are moderately fucked. They're sort of like the lightning you're going to get screwed. The Rangers are kind of fucked. They're all fucked by their own doing. They're not like fucked by the flat cap. They're fucked by the flat cap. And also the bad contracts they have

or the big contracts they have. Right. And one other team, Pittsburgh. Like Pittsburgh's screwed, but they're going to buy out Mark Andre Fleury or trade him, so that'll free up money. But for the most part, it's every team,

20 of the teams are going to be fine. But like the Rangers are screwed. They're going to pay Zabinajat and they're going to have no money for anything else. Do you feel it's sort of a bad look for the NHL, despite all these claims of success, to not have a cap that rises exponentially? It makes no goddamn sense to me that they're going to have played, and I realize like this year doesn't matter, but they're going to have played since 14, 15, 17 outdoor games. They're getting $100 million a year from Major League Baseball. 20, oh, wait, what was it? It was 70 of the 90 teams over the past three seasons are at 93% attendance or better.

and the cap's only got up $4 million for years. That makes no sense. Well, it makes total sense to me because to me, the flat cap story is this. And first of all, when you said flat cap, I was hoping we were going to talk about awesome lids. The newsies? Yeah. No, actually, no, no, like a Yankees cap with a flat brim

and a sticker on it that no one takes off from the store Lids in the mall. Ever go to Lids? Of course. Flat cap is also the personality of Steve Rogers and all of the Captain American. Oh, someone has to be the Boy Scout. I always love my, the favorite thing I, there's one tweet I always see gets retweeted once in a while, and they're both pro pair tweets.

One is the, of course, one from my 2011 where he's like, this country is dumb enough to vote for Donald Trump, which is funny and sad at the same time when I see that. But the other one's like, hmm, who do I root for? The tech genius billionaire or the Virginian American loves America too much? I always think of that. It's such a good tweet. So I think of it this way. The flat salary cap is the NHL loves it because it forces parity,

which is the thing that they love the most in this league. It forces really good teams that do really well and have high-price players to make difficult calls about those high-price players who inevitably trade those high-price players to teams that have a smaller salary cap and more room. Yeah, like Brandon Sodd winds up on the fucking bluejack. And that's good for hockey. I mean, in their eyes, that's good for hockey. In their eyes.

In their eyes, it's good for hockey. I don't think it is. people's eyes, they say, hey, you know, it's good for hockey? Dynasties. In fact, when you look at the top 100 players of all time, most of those fuckers came from dynasties. Amazing, isn't it? This is weird how that works out. Yeah, amazing how that works out. So, like, there's one, so that's part of it, is that they like to force parity and the flat cap forces parity.

But the really interesting thing about it that's been talked about a little bit, is the idea that Gary Betman is going to go to the players before the next labor negotiation. He's going to say, hi, it's me, Gary. Hi. Hi. You know what you don't like? Eskro. Eskro.

Do you know how to get rid of escrow? It's simple. Don't make so much money. You know how you not make so much money? Lower the salary cap. The end. So a flat cap to me is

a test subject bunny, if you Will, that is put before the players to say, hey, do you ever notice how you don't pay a lot of escrow? Too many glick here. You don't notice how you don't pay a lot of escrow. Why don't you guys ever get any money back from the salary cap? When the cap is low. What is this, HRR? They don't pay a lot of escrow when the cap is flat because it was, yeah.

But like, don't you feel like they're hiding money from the players? They have to be hiding so much money from the players. It has been creative accounting since the dawn of time. And it's one of the reasons why they fought in 2005 for a luxury tax instead of a salary cap because they were like they're going to cheat. They can't be linkage on the salary cap because they're going to hide money. But they're hiding. It seems like they're so obviously hiding it. It's not like the cap went up like $8 million or $10 million.

You're like, eh, it's gone up a million bucks per year for four years. Yeah. While they're printing money at outdoor games that did not exist 10 years ago. So, like, the Blackhawks have made probably about $100 million on outdoor games, and it's all in a file labeled foam hatchets. We gave that money to Rollo Tamasi. That's his money. Yeah. It's all bullshit.

You're right. No, I agree with you. The minute you look at the salary cap not rising, you're saying to yourself, why? Just like when you look at the Olympics, you're saying yourself, why? is this happening? Well, in the case of the Olympics, it's because they want the CBA extended, so they're going to do all this song and dance about, oh, are we going to go? Not going to go. You guys really want to go? Well, here's how you can go. And in the flat cap, it's like, oh, you guys hate escrow and you're going to fight tooth and nail to get escrow over it.

Well, here's a way to ease your problems. But like, that doesn't do anything. If you're just going to lower the cap anyway, it's still... It does do something because it makes your argument for rollback. Yeah, that's the league argument. Yeah. Players don't want that. No. Players don't want to go from 4.2 to 3.7 million. Maybe if we all make a little less, then we can take home more. The fucking, oh, boy.

Yeah, that's the argument. I don't know. Again, I just go back. Boy, this podcast is going to suck eggs when the lockout happens. I'll tell you that right now. It's just going to be too idiots going back and forth about escrow and HR. We'll just take turns. Like, you be the league.

I'll be the players this week. Then I'll turn around. Like, seriously, man, like, Donfear needs to tell the players, start saving your money because we're fucking not showing up to the next, fuck to the 1920 season or whatever the league is. Because there's better things to talk about it. You're getting upset, honey, and I want you get upset.

You're just going to take your money from you. Last time we did a podcast, we unleashed a contest upon you. The contest was going to be for some devil shwag, a copy of my book, and something else. Oh, pins from the kings. Pins from the Kings. Inexplicably, a lot of you, entered it. So we had to sit down before the show and pick winners.

So here are the three winners, and the way it works is Yankee Swap Rules, the first place winner gets to pick their gift. Whatever you want. Right. Number three is Ivan Perez. Ivan Perez. Ivan Perez is IPB-3000 on Twitter. We got a lot of Puck Soup logos printed out and put on toilets, but Ivan was the only person

to go the extra step and try to recreate the logo by putting a hockey stick in his toilet with the logo there as some people believe the logo designed by my lovely wife, Ruby. How does she feel about that, by the way? It's in fact a toilet bowl.

I'm sure you've told this to her. Like, what did she say? Does she get pissed? Well, there's the possibility, by the way, now that we might be able to sell some swag and I've been told that maybe before we do that there needs to be a slight redesign of a logo. told by

by Ruby by the by the by the by as she refers to herself the holder of the trademark yeah that is true yeah whatever you want whatever you want Ruby all right

second place in the contest is Raymond Lasky Raymond Lasky Raymond Lasky L-A-S-K-Y-11 on Twitter and so this was a bit of controversy actually because I found it

to be quite endearing it is a puck soup logo placed on a newborn baby swaddled in hospital swaddling. And Raymond says, my first child was born today. And Raymond put a Puck Soup logo on his baby. But Lozo saw it and saw something completely different. I'm calling fraud. It's either fraud or it's unfair.

Because just because you happen to have sex nine months ago, does that mean you should be able to win this award? You're taking advantage of an adorable baby. Or you work in a hospital. And you're like, I got an idea. Just like we were saying earlier, Super Bowl ads, babies and animals. That's how you win stuff. I'm gonna have my wife or I'm gonna go into the nursery and find the cutest baby that was just born and dropped this a logo that looks like a toilet on my child.

I love the idea in the first place you went was the idea that some fucking Dennis Nedry, you know, sneaking into the dinosaur DNA lab. Who's that? Wayne Knight. So this guy sneaks into the nursery at a hospital and places a logo on a random baby and takes a photo of it. for pins. To enter our contest for pins. Where's that guy from? If he's from L.A.,

maybe he just wants the pin. I believe he's from Florida. Florida man. Florida man breaks in a nursery, puts podcast logo on baby. Wait, so you're telling me you put a picture of a toilet on a child to order to win pins? That's a good.

That's a good story. But the winner of the contest is actually someone who did an animated gif. It's disgruntled Bill, aka a disgruntled pens fan. The tweet was hard at work in the Puck Soup Science Division, Bill put our logo on a monitor and then appeared to drop a smaller logo inside of either dry ice or liquid nitrogen, one of the two. If it's liquid nitrogen, a slight demerit, but not enough for you to lose the contest for not

then breaking the logo with a hammer. If it's dry ice, nice special effect. So you hold this guy to a higher standard than the guy that happened to have sex nine months ago. Right. and create a child at the same time. Yeah, it's possible this guy also snuck into a lab and put our logo on a monitor

and then use tweezers to dunk our logo in liquid nitrogen. Wait, now I want to look at all the entries based on the idea that they broke a law in order to do it. Like people just broke into some toilet somewhere. Now, we do have to announce another thing that has occurred, which is that we have our first ever

this is amazing. Like, Kathy Polo, KDA Polo on Twitter is someone who has designed podcast graphics and animations for other hockey podcasts. And this is the first time she's blessed Puck Soup with her genius. She animated our bit at the top of the show, the other show, of Ilibrage Ghaloff and the dangers of bears. She animated that as a video. You can see it on Vimea. retweet it when this comes out. So here's what we're doing for Kathy.

This is a big deal. We haven't even asked her if she's okay with doing it. And it doesn't matter. She's going to have to be cool with it. She has no choice. We are introducing for this genius, the puck soup cup soup, which is an actual soup bowl with our logo on it and our autographs on it. And whoever receives it will then autograph the inside of it.

Now, here's the trick. Just because you win the puck soup cup soup doesn't mean you get to keep it. You do for a certain period of time. Right. If and when we decide that one of the listeners has gone beyond the call of duty to create something or to give us something. That exceeds what was already created. That exceeds what's already been created.

That's a really good point because now it becomes like, I start with a paperclip and I trade it up and Now I own a yacht. Right. So, like, eventually someone's going to actually, like, do something for us. That's insane. The minute that we decide someone else has gone beyond the call of duty, duty. Kathy will be required to ship the puck soup, the puck soup, cup soup to the next person.

Right. Dave and I haven't decided whether she has to pay the shipping. I just love the idea that, like, Kathy, that was really great. Thank you so much for doing that for us. So your reward is that you're going to get something that's probably going to break when you receive it, and then you're going to have to pay $25 to ship it overseas somewhere else. It's entirely possible that we'll pay the shipping, but we haven't decided it yet. But there you go.

Kathy Polo, Katie A. Polo on Twitter. Katya. Is the winner of the first Puck Soup Cup Soup. Look forward to receiving that in the mail when Dave and I get around to making it. Yeah. So, 2019. Yeah,

still we're on there. But there you go. Congratulations to all the winners. Congratulations to all the people who entered our first contest. We're encouraged. This was a pilot project. We're encouraged by the response

and we think that maybe we'll do another one at some point. Here is the part of the show. What's, you made of a face? I just got a Facebook notification that's somebody I went to high school with tag me in a photo on Facebook.

Uh-oh. Oh, Christ. Little, little baby powder at high school in elementary. school. Back when I had hair. It's like Dr. Evil in the flashbacks when he had hair and as a kid. Oh, he's bald on those flashbacks, too, I guess. It's got to Eval had hair.

Now is it's the time on Puck Soup when we go to the Puck Suit mailbag. First question this week, Dave, is inspired by your love of Bruce McGill in The Insider. Love that. Amazing character actor and an amazing movie. Which fictional lawyer would you want

defending you in court? I will say that obviously, if I have a PR problem, I would want Michael Clayton to be my fixer. That's for sure. But as far as lawyers in court, I would go with, I would go with Tom Cruise

in a few good men. I feel like it took amazing prowess to break Jack Nicholson. And I feel like after that trial, he'd be up for anything. I'm going to go Matthew McConaughey in a time to kill. Because I feel like Tom Cruise,

was incompetent and basically hit a Hail Mary by accident I wouldn't trust them to do that again I feel like Matthew McCona had a plan he got himself a good team you got him

you got Sandy Bullock he got Oliver Plight on his team came up with a really great strategy great close I lot of people in this trial is saying my client took his dick out in front of them nuns

I disagree that was a different movie oh no I was doing your trial oh no that's right then I'm the young Pope, baby Say hello to the little young Pope Could be anybody's dick Maybe they're not even nuns

Close your eyes That's right Picture a dick I picture some nuns Can you see it Can you see the balls? Now imagine they're actually big As always Biscuits is the podcast

In which Dave Loza talks about hockey Without talking about his dick In my defense this time, I did not bring it in my dick. Counselor, let the record show. That the defense bought up my client's dick. Your Honor. Your Honor. I only do one McCona Hay impression.

I think you know what it is. What? I get older. No. Hell no. That's cliche. I do it from Rain of Fire of the Dragon movie. Oh, God.

And the line is when they're skydiving to kill dragons. Yeah. They go to high points. That's not skydiving. I think that's base jumping. Base jumping. Yeah. like Bruce Wayne.

That's why I needed the armor in Batman begins. The line is, you gotta bring the beast down if you want to kill it. I feel like that's more Anna Farris doing a southern accent in like the house bunny. My favorite Anna Farris line of all times in the movie Just Friends, a movie with great Anna Farris lines

in which she's asking Ryan Reynolds to leave a bar as he's talking to two towny friends and he finally screams at her I'm busy and she goes I'm busy you stupid dick oh yeah classic movie

Anna Farras Albert wants to know who are some of the big names if I need to be selected by the Vegas Knights in expansion draft I again like you look at you can go to what is it cap friendly

and play around with the expansion draft thing that they have there it's again becoming increasingly obvious that they're going to have a blue line worth of dam and maybe no forwards but also three great goalies yeah like Tampa is in a situation

where they're probably going to leave I'd say Alex Cologne available Detroit's got Detroit's got two goalies they can only protect why I think Vegas is going to Detroit for their goal you no matter what the ducks are in a kind of a dicey situation too but like again we're still

months away from when they're actually going to do it and teams are probably going to make trades, do stuff to get something back. I think there's a better chance of them amassing a war chest of draft picks from teams bribing them not to take their good players, then there is them ending up with good players. They should draft guys and then trade them to team. Like say if you know you don't want Jimmy Howard to be your goaltender, but he's available, and you can take him and you can trade into a team that wants Jimmy Howard. Like say Jimmy Howard finishes zero with like a 930 and like 45 games.

That's going to be attractive to some team at 5.4 million. So you take him, trade him to someplace else for a second. Like, Vegas should be doing, you shouldn't care about anyone. They actually draft as a player because Vegas, even though you say differently, is not going to be good. Just stockpile draft picks if you're Vegas and then build out from there. Right. And by the way, the thing I was tagged in was my high school prom photo. It wasn't tagged in it was a memory.

Memory that was shared. Wow. Right. I'm just as pale. How is prom? Good? Solid time? This the night the devil's lost to the Rangers in game seven.

It's a not a good night That was a weird Bad night You had any questions over there sir Oh the guy whose name I didn't remember But I like the question He said what's what's harder to do

Get a shut out in the national hockey league Or a shut out in a beer league And I think it's beer league Because No one has a system in beer league Yeah It's almost irreconately right I mean you look at like

Goleys that And again like we were both Devils fans Like Marty maybe some nights Only face 13 shots 12 out of 13 for a 2-1 win All he has to do is not fall asleep. Yeah. It does okay.

And at beer league, you're going to face at least seven odd man rushes during the course of the game, three breakaways. You're not going to get a shutout. It's just too hard. There's always one beer league team that has guys to take it super seriously and they actually have breakouts and shit. But even that team, you score goals on. Beer League shutouts really hard. Finally, Will Morales sends in an interesting one. Will Morales.

That's like a good movie name for like a character that's like noble, Will Moral. Detective Will Morales is in his first week on the job. He's got morals and will. Detective Will Morales is the best cop in the precinct, but the precinct is rotten. He's played by Michael Pena. Michael Pena in Rotten Precinct. Will Morales wants to know, does an exciting one-third or end of a game make up for a bad game? Would you classify the game as a whole as good?

That's a really, I mean, that's an interesting question because I'm sure Moly. Patriots would call this the greatest Super Bowl of all time. It's the Rogue One question. And it is a Rogue One question. Oh, who's saying this is the best Super Bowl of all time? Pat's fans, of course. Oh, well, yeah. That wasn't a good game.

I mean, I would say, well, it depends. I don't know, man. Like, I know I have watched like 1-0 games where it could be kind of a snooze through two periods, and there's a balls-out great third period. it ends up won nothing and I feel satisfied. I think you can feel okay about the game, but you can't call it a good game. Like, there was a Rangers Flames game this week or last week

where first period was great. Second period was the worst fucking period I've seen all season. The third period was great. That's not a good game. You know what this debate is? This debate is Team North America versus Sweden versus Team North America versus Russia

where I thought the TNA Russia game top the bottom was a better game, but people remember the first three minutes of the Sweden game and they remember the McKinnignell at the end of the Sweden game. Oh, right, right, right. And it becomes the greatest game of all time. Yeah, I don't even remember those games, to be honest. The team America, right?

Russia. Remember the awesome anarchy logo? No. Russia, I don't remember the actual 60 minutes of the game. No, yeah. Russia won, right? Russia beat us. Us.

Yes, beat us. You know, us young millennials. Us millennials. That game was whack, yo. TNA was lit. TNA was lit A-F. Lid A. F. You know it.

Yo. So I would say that, yeah, I would say, I would say for me, I need a full good game. An ending is great, but it doesn't change the fact that I've wasted 40 minutes of my life watching bad hockey for two periods. I'm your cliche guy at the podium after the game. Yeah, look, the game played well. It was a really good game, you know, but we didn't play a full 60.

We didn't watch a full 60. You know, we had some lulls there. They really push back there in the second period. but, you know, we're just going to work to get better and try and see some better games. There you go. Be some season better games. All right. That's Puck's you for this week.

Thanks to Pete the retailer for showing up. And thanks to us for not completely ruining his interview with Static Monster. Thanks to the naked Chalupa for existing. Thanks to, well, no, no thanks to the Atlanta Falcons. You should fold. That was terrible. And, um... Choking dog.

Oh, one, two bits of news. Obviously, you can still get my Dave and Downgroves Brown's book, The 100 Greatest Players in National History and other stuff available. Wherever e-books are sold, including now Barnes & Noble, it's on the Nook, if you got a Nook. $5.99's the price, thanks to everybody who's bought it. It's been crazy successful beyond our expectations, and we thank you for that. And then also, Dave and me and Dan Goes Brown, we'll be talking about that book and many other hockey things. On a Reddit, Ask Me Anything, Thursday, next Thursday.

So what is that there, Dan? That's a... The Suvignt. It's February 16th. 11 a.m. Eastern time is when we'll do it. So the Puck Soup Biscuits book AMA on the R-slash-Hockey Reddit. Do check it out there and ask us anything you'd like there. That's the whole point to an AMA.

I'm Greg Wachinkt, Javierysports. My other podcast is Merrick v. Wachinsky. Find me on Twitter at Wachinsky and find all my work on Puck Daddy. And here is Dave Loso. So here's a little story I want to tell you about America. It's last night. It's Tuesday. It's Madison Square Garden.

There's me, Dave. America. I am America. I'm writing in the press box for like 40 straight minutes. Rangers and ducks warm up. I'm not paying attention. I got stuff to do. All of a sudden, here they are.

Your New York Rangers. And I'm like, wow, I really got to pee. As the listeners know, when I got to pee, I got to pee. So now I'm going to crossroads because it's a minute until the anthem and the game starts. I really got to pee. Do I stand there, listen to the anthem and go pee, miss the first two minutes, or go pee there and come back just as the anthem's ending. I put my bladder before country every time, and I go to the bathroom.

So it's as meanest old guy in the bathroom in a Ranger jersey. Just no one else in the bathroom, but both the urinals, the anthem kind of starts. You can kind of hear it faintly in the background. We both get done peeing at the same time. I go to wash my hands. I realize that he never actually whips around. They use the other sink. He just runs out of the bathroom after peeing.

Wips around. He didn't whip around or reach around. There's two guys peeing in the bathroom during the anthem. So I go back upstairs to the 10th floor at MSG, the bathroom's on the 9th floor. It's right there. Walk back to the press area. Hook a right to where they have the water. Go to the fridge, grab bottle water.

I have my hat off too at this point. It's important to know. Anthem's winding down. The anthem gets done. Put my hat back on. And I hear... This is how I always get in trouble, by the way. I hear somebody yelling about respect.

Show some respect. Where's your respect? And I'm always like, oh, I want to see who's getting yelled at. Turns out it's me. That's how it happens every time. And so I turn around and this old guy in the Ranger jersey, who I just peed four feet from, is yelling at me about respect.

And I'm thinking he's pointing at my hat. And I walk over to him. There's like two security guys, like keeping him from coming back through the media are at MSG. And I'm like, what's he saying? He's like, oh, he's mad that you walk past him during the anthem. I'm like, he's mad that I was walking. And he's like, yeah, show some respect.

And I just like laughed and turned around. So for those of you who are keeping track at home, for what is respectful and disrespectful during the anthem. Disrespectful kneeling. Respectful standing. Respectful peeing because we were both peeing with our weaners out side by side while an Irish tenor was singing the National Anthem that we could definitely hear from the bathroom. Disrespectful walking.

So when they say, ladies and gentlemen, please rise or remove your hats, it's unspoken, but if you move, you are disrespecting America. So there you go. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. that's a beautiful story sir I like the part where he ripped around he whipped around he didn't whip around he didn't go to the he didn't wash his hands that that more than anything sir is un-American

like I just I couldn't believe he was yeah I could not figure out why he was yelling and once he told me why he was yelling at me like I just did that like when somebody tells a joke and you don't mean to laugh but you laugh it's not even a joke it's someone just like yeah you know so the other day I was out my friends and uh you know I I grew up on the floor

you should have looked at him straight in the face and said, and said, what about the Canadian anthem? I know. What about the fact that we were just pissing during the anthem? Like, why is piss proud, whatever.

Do whatever you want throwing the anthem. There is. Do whatever you want. That's the puck soup mantra. Do whatever the hell you want. Do whatever you want. All right. See you next week, everybody.

Bye. See you. Now leaving nerdist.com.