Puck Soup - Ryan Lambert

Episode Date: November 30, 2017

Greg and Dave welcome Puck Daddy's Ryan Lambert to the show for a free-wheeling conversation about the Philadelphia Flyers, the Edmonton media, naked Ryan Kesler, "Avengers: Infinity War," why scoring is up, a ridiculous NHL 100 documentary, this season's big surprises, Greg's family and their weird casino games, dog costumes and an intense bit of dinosaur trivia with RL, a dinosaur expert.  

Today's episode of Puck Soup is brought to you by Logan Lucky. Don't miss Channing Tatum, Adam Driver, Katie Holmes, and the high-octane comedy Logan Lucky. Certified fresh by Rotten Tomatoes. Get the film critics are calling magnificent and fun from start to finish. Own Logan Lucky on Blu-ray DVD and Digital Now. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, and shows. in tunes. It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. Pogsu. I'm Dave Lozo of Vice Sports. I'm Greg Wischinski of ESPN.

Oh, I have, I'm Ryan Lambert from Yahoo Sports, the original puck daddy. The new puck daddy. Technically, you are. The original puck daddy. I died and I regenerated into Ryan Lambert. That's the way it works, just like Doctor Who rules. and you're in Puck Soup.

Welcome to the show. This is a big moment for a lot of the listeners who I think I've been waiting at least over a year for you to come on the show. Well, that may or may not be nice of them. Well, no, why they like you?

I don't know. We'll see. Are you confusing Ryan and Jeff Merrick? I think Jeff Merrick is the one. What percentage of the people that follow this show do you think like you? Does Sidney Crosby like?

Ryan Lambert. Yes. I'm going to say 65%. To answer your question, does Sidney Crosby like Ryan Lambert? The answer is yes. Ryan Lambert has come to the defense of Sidney Crosby many times in the face of baseless criticism to say, no, you dumb fucks, he's great. Well, I wouldn't use that kind of language. Well, you can't on that Yahoo. I mean, we've all taken the brave stance that Sidney Crosby is better than Claudeau at some point, right? Peter Lafayolette, stowling at you from over the corner. man. There really was a period of like four years where they were like, we have to figure out who is better than Sidney Crosby because we don't like him for whatever.

Like we've decided that we don't like him. There's not really any basis for why. No. Conner McDavid's like nine years old. They're all like, come on, kid, hurry up. Can't keep pretending the Drews in the conversation. And now he's out. Eric Cawson is no longer the best defenseman because he's just, he's been the best but he's for too long now. We need a new guy. That's the thing. He was never the best defenseman to these people.

He's won two, I think, Norris is? Yeah, he should have three. He should have five. The Norris is so fucking bizarre, though. Like, the Norris, out of every award is, like, the best actor Oscar or whatever. Like, the wait your turn. You know what? We haven't given it a Pacino for the...

So, the blind, that's great. We'll give him the Oscar for that. The Norris is like... It's like, what is it, like seven different people in eight years or something along those lines? Yeah, something like that. And now it's... And now we've gone from the Drew Dowdy Canadian anointment of the next in line to win the Norris to the Alex Petrangelo

Canadian-O-It's his turn of winning the next His turn. He's due. He's due. He's due. He's been waiting patiently in the wings. And yet the lightning are like a billion points up and Hedron can't even get a sniff of the trophy. He probably should win at some point. Yeah. The thing about Hedman, that's weird, it's like for years it was always like he's a product of Strollman and then now he's doing the thing on

his own and it's like, well, he's a I don't know, we'll come up with some other reason. Well, Strauman was bad right up until he got to Tampa and then everybody was like, oh, This guy's really good. Weird how that happened. And anybody, like, the Rangers gave him away for nothing, I want to say, right? Like, they just let him walk. They offered him, like, a really bad contract.

Yeah, and then they were like, but we really need that Dan Girardi contract locked in. Do you think Stevie Y was like, you know, the last time we got a really shoot a defenseman for the Rangers, it worked out real night. Yeah, let's bring in Gerardy and see we can do the same thing. You pictured, like, Anton Straumman when Girardi walks in the locker, and he's just like, oh, God, no. I thought I got rid of this anchor three years ago. I can't do this again. Hey, he scored the other night, so. It's all going great with that contract now.

He's tied with Brent Burns and goals, man. Yeah, Girardi's like, hey, it's good to see you, Anton. And Han's like, remember that time you fell down and farted and then the goal, the puck went past you into the goal? And it was a playoff game. It's pretty great. And he's like, which time? Yeah, I was going to say, like, is there a specific one you're thinking of?

What is up with Brent Burns this season in your estimation? Certainly it's bad luck. But the sharks just, like, aren't that good. I think Delo has done some really good breakdowns of why their power play isn't especially, as effective as it probably should be. Everybody on that team is over 30 at this point. Joe Thornton's like 100 years old now. Yeah.

And, you know, I think it's also Brent Burns is, what, 32, something like that? Perfect candidate for a long-term contract. Yeah, well, his big one kicks in this, kicked in this year. Yeah, he just started this year. So only seven more years, baby. He's got, in his first 23 games, he's got one goal and 10 assists. and he's got what is the number here

93 shots in 23 games I'm going to guess that he's not going to shoot like doing the math real 1.1% yeah I bet that doesn't last forever but also have we considered

that maybe he's just focusing more on the defensive side of the game guys yeah that's the thing is like when there's offensive defensemen people are like oh he's not playing defense

but when an offensive defenseman stop scoring it's like oh I guess he's not good or no You can totally tell that Pete DeBore went up to him before the season. He's like, look, man, I know you scored a billion points last year and redefined the position, but I'm going to need you to be more of a Niedermeyer for us this year. Get down on your own end a little bit more, buddy. He's really lock that down, yeah.

The stupid sport this is. It's the dumbest, dude. It's the dumbest sport. What's been your favorite thing? We haven't had you in ever. So what's been your favorite thing this year so far? What's on your minds? Sweet, cold nights.

There are only six points from being out of the playoffs right now, by the. It really is a thing of every week, and you just wrote it this week, where it's like, when do we accept that these guys are for real? And it's like, never. Not ever. Like, are you kidding me? How many times, like, game 62, all the columns about the Colorado Avalanche or the Minnesota Wild, right? And then, like, game 82 happens.

And it's like, they're on a nine-game losing streak heading into this playoff. The only time that's never happened was the year Calgary was that team. And then Mark G.R. Giardano got hurt with, like, 20 games to go. and I wrote this obituary, and they still made the fucking playoffs. When is it his turn to win on Norris, by the way? Because he would have had two years ago. Two years ago, yeah. He would have went on two already. We're not for those pesky injuries.

Dougie Hamilton gets it in 2024, I believe, right? I got to check the calendar. Yeah, once he's done dragging Travis Hammannock up and down the ice. In the piece that you referenced there about the sweet golden nights, I said that I'll know there for real when we get to the trade deadline and James Neal and David Faron and at least 85% of their defensemen or so on the roster. Like, that's what I'll know they're for real.

No, that would be a horrible mistake by a dumb GM. But that would tell me that they're in such a playoff position that they had to keep those guys around because it's guaranteed. What kind of maniac wouldn't trade James Neal for a low first round pick if given the opportunity this year? They won't get a first. The same one that drafted like 14 AHL defensemen in an expansion draft? and the best is Ian Cole's available

and people are like, oh, the golden nights are all over him. Why? Why do they need another defenseman that's not that good? I don't understand. Here's the thing about Ian Cole that they can get a two for one, maybe. For those that don't know,

like he's been healthy scratched a bunch by the penguins and there was like talks of that he might be traded. He probably will be traded by the time you hear this. But like, the thing about Ian Cole, the one's talking about is this guy's played way too much hockey in the last few years for being Ian Cole.

Yeah. Like, he had to, his minute load in this past cup run with Let's hangout was like exponentially larger, like times too larger than what he would play for the most part Yeah, he was there too. Yeah. And people were like Oh, why is he so ineffective? Why is he? Because he's

exhausted, because he's tired. The whole penguin's team is not good right now because they've played 50 extra games than everybody else. Right. So, yeah. What could be wrong with them? Maybe they don't want it enough. Maybe that could be it. Maybe Cindy Cromis is now the best player in the league. Crosby had a good run. It's time to Yeah, there it is. It's time to say goodbye.

Pass the torch. And meanwhile, Nikita Kootjura, I was like, come on, man. Guys, have you seen me? I can score unscreen goals from 50 feet out. Why is nobody like me anymore? I still think the penguins are going to be fine. I do think that at some point, like, Malkin being out, he'll get back. It'll reset the lineup in some way.

Everybody will drop down a spot. I still think that they're going to have to add a center at some point. You don't think Riley Sheehan's doing it for him? I don't think Riley Sheen's doing it. I don't think Carter Roney is doing it. And he's in my errone. I don't think he's doing it. I think you got to go and find someone else.

So obviously you complete the trade everybody's talking about this week. Ian Cole for Ryan Nugent Hopkins. Let's do it. Let's do it. I love that that's everybody in Edmonton's approach is like, well, we've tried trading all the talented forwards, but what if we trade one more? It does warm my heart as an, and I will bring it up again in this podcast. I know people hate it, but sorry, fuck off. it does warm my heart that trading extraordinarily skilled forward for second or third pairing defenseman has become a meme after the Taylor Hall trade. Now it's like, it's like whatever, what are we going to do with?

Oh, New Jersey just scored a hat trick. Oh, quick, trade him for Kyle Quincy. But what's funny, though, is that media there is so like in the tank for whatever the coach or the ownership or management tells them that they won't ever just state the obvious thing that they've given up a lot of talent and not gotten a lot of talent back. Like, if you're an Edmonton writer and someone's like, hey, guess what Connor McDavid's wings are? I don't know. It's Milan Luchich and Mike Camilleri, and their first thought isn't to say that's terrible. It's to be Connor McDavid's just not trying hard. Like, what? He's too many giveaways.

Too many giveaways. Literally, they had McDavid such a problem for them now that they had him practicing on Mike Camelary's wing. And it's like, what universe do we live in? I don't need, like, I'm, it's just so happened that, like, like, it's just so happened that, like, Like weird things happened with the with Nick David and Edmonton and all that like the last two Saturdays. So like Sunday morning I'm writing what we learned and I'm like, guess I got to write about the goddamn oily again. And it's amazing. You don't trade a UC Yokinen and then not use the guy who get back as a top line center.

I mean, that's pretty much. They traded they traded Yokinen when he had like a 58% coursey and like was shooting zero percent. Yeah. And they got back a guy who had seven. points, but four of them were in one game. And they're like, he's, you know, he's adding, he's adding a scoring element that you see Yokin and just doesn't have.

What does Yokin have now, like 10 points in four games or something? No, I think he's still pretty bad. Yeah, he's still pretty bad. He's still used to Yogan. But he's better than my camp in Larry. Obviously, it would be remissive we didn't talk about the big news in Edmonton this week, which is that players that used to play there and no longer play there have hurt feelings. What's the thing that happened is?

Dude, dude, dude. I don't, I understand if you read stuff all the time by yourself and it's negative and it affects you. Oh, but you always yell at me for looking at the Reddit and self-searching. That's my point.

That's my point is Jordan Eberley is you. He's seeking out negative comments about himself to get mad about and then he's like, oh man, that affects my play. So like, stop. If you gave me six years and $36 million, I would never look at the internet again. Did I ever tell the Douglas movies

Reddit comments around the show? No, no. So I did love those movies on Sunday and Monday here in the city. And I didn't tell this on stage because Ruby told me not to because she says it's going to come off like her as psychopath. But on the hockey Reddit when I got hired by ESPN, I checked it out. You yelled at me for it. Whatever. Huge mistake.

And so I checked it out to see what people were saying when they made a thread about it. And like one of the people on the thread. Now I've written shit for nine years at Yahoo, right? Like there's a bevy of thousands of articles. It's been good. Thousands of articles. Oh, shit. You mean?

Oh. Yeah, no. I mean, every, you know, whatever. I'm trying to say there's a body of work. A body of work that you can look at and make a judgment as to whether or not you like me as a writer or not like me as a writer. There's a comment on the hockey Reddit thread that says, you know,

I never read anything this guy wrote. Oh, you did tell this story. Oh, yeah, I'll tell Lambert. But I saw him on this movie trivia game show once, and he was such an egotistical name dropper. I'm like, that's it. Nothing? You're a Ranger fan? You're a Ranger fan? Why are you seeking out that

information and putting it in your brain? Why do you want to have that information? Well, maybe I'm like Jordan Eberley, and I would read it, I would go searching it out for motivation and then bulletin board material. And then get really dunk on that Rangers fan from Reddit. And then get crushed under the weight of negativity. Like, I'm sure,

I'm sure it's like dabbling in the dark arts if you're Jordan Eberle. You start reading stuff, you're like, yeah, I'm going to show Mark Spectre a thing or two. And then you read like, and that's why Jordan Everly should turn his stick into pencils because he's a terrible person and then like me and Ryan are like Taylor Hall they come to us and you're like what's up at Wish and we're just like you know he's I told him not to read it I begged them I don't know why he's doing it I can't I don't even

remember the last time I thought about clicking on the Yahoo comments like I'd have to be a psychopath oh no I clicked them all on them all the time I just wanted to know the status of Obama's birth certificate it's really up in the air from what I understand Jordan Everly. Sad. Do you think he had a point, Everly? Or do you think that it's one of those deals where he should just suck it up, Buttercup?

Because in talking to Taylor Hall about it this week, like, it occurs to me that there is middle ground. Name drop, by the way. Thank you very much. My good friend Taylor Hall, with his beast on lips. I think there's middle ground. I think you've got the Jordan Everley side that's like the media crushed me and crushed

nail and crushed Schultz and crushed all these guys and made us feel shitty. And that's why we didn't excel there. See, it's the last part that's Right, I agree. And then you have the Mark Spector side and the Edmonton Media side, which is like Suck it up Buttercup. And then you have Taylor Hall.

It's like, you know what? These guys in the media... You guys in the media. You guys in the media weren't like unfair, but at the same time, like, it's human nature that if you keep constantly read about how much you suck, it's going to make you feel shitty about yourself. So I think that's... There is middle ground.

He is right. I think this discussion is a spectrum, but with... Like between all these three points, like if you want to say Taylor Hall is purely in the middle on this, right? Like I think I'm more between him and Eberley where it's like, look at the fucking roster. Yeah. Like you think these guys are supposed to be like scoring all. I mean, what was that stat like in his career in Edmonton? Taylor Hall was like a plus two goal differential.

And when he was off the ice, they were like minus 268. And so they're coming. And so they're coming to Taylor Hall. and they're like, hey, why is the team bad? And he's like, I have no idea. Like, I'm doing literally everything I possibly can. And, and, you know, it was the same thing with when Crosby and Malkin weren't winning cups. And it was because they had a bunch of guys who were getting like $4 million, but were 40 point players on their wings.

And everybody's like, Crosby and Malkin just don't have any leadership skills. And it's like, no, use your, like, look at the roster for two seconds. But, like, that sounds, that's on, like, spec to do that. Taylor Hall's never going to be like, oh man, have you seen our bottom six? Well, right. He can't be like,

these guys are all stiffs. Have you seen the guys that I have bubble? Have you seen our bottom three lines? It's insanely bad. Yeah. But like, I don't know, like,

I'm kind of with spec. I hate being with spec. But I like just stop. Oh, no, I also agree with that. Yeah. But like Jordan Everly,

just, dude. But I don't think that you can avoid it. Like I don't. Right, no, because they're sticking a mic in your face every day and being like, why you're a piece of shit. Not only that,

but like, it's not, I don't think it's Jordan Eberley cracken open the Edmonton, whatever the fuck and reading articles about himself. I think it's everybody Jordan Eberley knows saying, dude, did you see that what was written about you? And then, and then, and you have friends texting you articles where they're saying how shitty you are. Stop

doing that. Well, okay. Get better friends. So now we're getting to some truth. Blame the friends for making him feel shitty. Blame management for making the team shitty. Definitely. And don't blame the players. By the way, again, you brought up the Taylor Hall thing. like there should be

Oodles wore criticism of the Edmonton Oilers for having Taylor Hall play with, what is it? What is it? One, two, three, four, five different coaches while he was there maybe? Yeah. Well, it's just the first. John Hines, the devil's coach, pointed out this week.

Like, this is the first time Taylor Hall's are the same system for like three seasons. Right. Like, it's insane to me that, that, you know, looking at that era of that team when, you know, yeah, Hall didn't play to expectations Eberley, Schultz, Yakopov, all that. Like, that was such a fucked up error for that team, and it was all management's fault,

and it seems like that's been wiped away because they won a lottery. And I think that's, it's just nonsense. And they have what's looking like one insanely fluky season because... Because Camp Talbot stopped, like, 97% of all that's high danger chances. Right before I came in here, Demetri Filipovich tweeted, like, Talbot had played 1008 of Edmonton's last 120 games. Yeah. Like, what? I know.

That doesn't seem like it should be physically possible. That's, again, that's like, you know, these teams, Farlamoff and Colorado was the same deal. Like, they overplayed him and he bailed their ass out during one season, saved by Wa. Save by Waugh. That's right. See, the franchise was saved by Waugh. And then came back down to Earth.

On the spectre front, though, and Taylor Hall said this too, like, and I completely agree with him, like, it's really hard for me to take the opinion of a guy who literally, literally will block half the fucking world on Twitter for criticizing its work and doing it in usually not a dickish way but in a Tyler Delo Ryan Lambertie way

of pointing out the foibles of their of his logic I mean what's the difference between the dicky way and that's what I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying I'm here's what I love about approach criticism in a very intelligent way

Greg thanks I firmly believe that unblocked me after having me block for years just in time for this new round of being like and you know his fault this is it's the guy who's on pace for 110 points this year I was like spec delo his war with the eminentin media was always amazing to me because like he was in the halcyon days of early blogging like he was the ombudsman for the emberton media and I fucking loved it and you know he would point out statistically

why these guys are wrong and it was the epitome of what I think the movement of analytics and blogging should do in theory at all times, which is call them on their bullshit but explain to the nth degree why it's bullshit. And he would do that and he would infuriate them because they could no longer do the bullshit sweeping narrative stuff because now someone's watching the watchman. I can still do it apparently.

Yeah, but that's because Delo's behind a paywall now. Behind this wall, man, he is carving up those people. Let me tell you. Oh, yeah. Don't peek over the wall, Mark Specter. It's there. He's your president. You sure is. You sure is.

Yeah, but do you think Ebbotton rallies to make the playoffs? It's too late. Too late? Yeah. I think a mailbag like two weeks ago, somebody asked me, and I did the numbers, and it was like they needed to play at like a hundred and eight point pace the entire rest of the season, and that was before they lost two on the last three or whatever it was. Like the whole you dig for yourself.

Like the Rangers were two, six and two, and then they went 11 and two, and they still weren't in the playoffs yet. They were still like in 9th or 10th. So the Oilers' hole is just as big and it's deeper into the season. Right. And then the flyers were like 2-6th and 2, and then they went like 0 and 9.

That's right. What is Dave Haxthaw got to do to get his ass can? All right, let's talk about that. What is Darrell Sutter just going to show up and just start coaching that team ready? What are we waiting for? The Darrell Sutter thing is really fucking fascinating to me

because I did some like coaches hot seat thing, which is really hard because all the shitty teams have new coaches. I know. That's why no one's been fired. Oh, they just got extensions. Like every guy is like that. Yeah, like Phil Halsley's not getting fired because Phil Housley literally just got there.

But like Sutter to me is the most fascinating one. Like to me it's like there are a few places in Philly's one of them that you're like, what if he decided to come back and coach? What would that be like? Edmonton's another. Like, what if he showed up at Edmonton? I don't think that this is a Todd McClellan issue in Edmondton. It's not.

It's not. But like, let's say that they quit on McClellan. and the guy replaces them the Sutter Like what happens there? They get better, they get worse? Well, they get better, but again, it's too late now. Mm-hmm. You know, well, here's the thing.

I don't know how much better they can get just because, like, this is going to get a lot of people upset. Uh-oh. If you look at their coursey, they're really good, and they're not getting goaltending, and they're not getting scoring when McDavid is off the ice.

Right. And also the other team is scoring a lot when he's on the ice because of all those turnovers. That's right. And in the one game that that happened in. he's got Eric Carlson disease. Like someone saw him fuck up once and then all of a sudden Yeah, now he's a defensive liability forever.

Austin Matthews flew past Eric Carlson in game one last season. It's like Carlson's basically like the windmill on the mini golf course. Yeah, and then he had to drag that team kicking and screaming to one goal away from the cup final. And then everybody was like, I guess he's a good. He's like fine. There's no one foot. There's no other sport. There's no other sport where like when a team sucks.

No one's like when the cabs are like, you know, 10 and 7 for Oh, that LeBron killing them It's all LeBron's fault It's always McDavid's fault It's always Crosby's fault

It's always Carlson's fault Is it because these people Don't know the names Of other people on the team? Is that possible? I don't get it I really think it's like Hockey's a workman-like sport

And if you're To inspectors thing earlier Like if you're making $6 million You should be able to handle criticism And like they're not looking At a guy who's making 1.3 when he shouldn't be in the league

And going Patrick Sharp That's right and going like this is this is his problem because they're like well that guy's making that's the funny thing is David's still on his ELC so like his big money doesn't even start

till next year but yeah I mean the problem with the flyers is you know all their all their good players are getting older or too young and there's like there's no middle ground of like guys who are pretty good in their mid-20s yeah so I think well first of all

the next The next coach of that team is going to be Scott Gordon, the former Islanders coach. He's their AHL coach now. He's coached like half the roster. It's kind of like when... If that's the answer to... Scott Gordon's the answer to your problems. I'm telling you, man, that's who they hire.

He's groomed. He's got NHL experience. He's coached a bunch of guys in the team. Well, he coached the island. He coached Andrew McDonald when he was in the AHA last year. He's coached Gosses Bear when he was down there too. Like, he's sort of like the Bruce Cassidy. It's like the guy gets fired.

You bring in the HAL guys. All the young guys are like... Like, oh, fuck, great. Clean slate. I'm going to play hard for this cat. And then they do all right. Like, that's what it's going to be. That's the place they go.

Unless, of course, Dean Lombardi hires Darrell's letter. I mean, as you said. It's only a matter of time before the flyers become the king's west. There was an ancient Roman warrior named Caspidus who wants, they wanted him to get off the farm, but he wouldn't leave the farm. So that's why we're hiring Daryl. He's going to plant drugs on Dave Haxstall. Dave Haxthal is going to, you know. No one is going to look at Dave Haxstall and think he does drugs.

No, but that, no, it would be like Dan Aykwright in trading places where they planted on him. He's like a, he's like a businessy-looking guy, and then all of a sudden he's living with Jamie Lee Curtis. Right. So basically, when they promote Scott Gordon, it's a bet between Dean Lombardi and Ron Hextall to see if there's no other explanation. Because we had a one dollar. I just spoiled the end of trading places. No. That it's a $1 bet. Oh, I thought you were going to say that Scott Gordon gets fucked by a gorilla.

See, I haven't seen trading places in a while, I guess. Oh, yeah. You remember that when they're on the truck? train at the end and there's a guy in a gorilla suit in a cage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe the sex is implied. I don't know, I believe the... It wasn't on screen. Yeah, there wasn't a graphic scene of a man. Well, there's a lot of that in Dan Aykroyd movies. There was the ghost blowjob and ghostbusters.

I don't think that was that implied. I think that's fairly explicit. That could have been a foot massage for all we know. That's just goes cross-eyed. We don't actually see anything. Good point. It just wanted to be comfortable ends up in the fence. That must be some foot massage, that's going to be a really good foot massage. There's that scene where we believe he's masturbating in the convenience store and Gross Point Blank.

Wait, no, I don't think that was. I think that was just an deleted scene. Kidding. Yeah, I was mentally going through that scene. I'm like, wait a second. I don't remember. That was the only the non-canonical. Delete this.

Yeah, so, what the fuck we were talking about? Oh, yeah, the Flyers. You were, you were stumping for Scott Gordon. Scott Gordon's going to be the guy who gets hired when they had fired. But like I said, and I'm glad that you're here for this soliloquy I'm about to do because you are a college hockey guy. Like, I've rooted for a, hackstall because I wanted that door to be kicked

open. I wanted more college coaches to get their shot. And it's per usual. It's a copycat league. So like if he goes and they're great and they're like, holy fuck, these guys know what they're doing. There would have been more college coaches that got hired. But as it stands, he might get fired within the first what, three years of his gig there. Yeah.

Do you think that's going to slam the door shut? I mean, you hear all the time. Why hasn't that Denver guy gotten a job? Well, from what I understand, he talked to Florida a lot this summer. and he should probably be not just coaching in college. He's really good.

But it's one of those things where, you know, Florida was like, we want Bob Boogner, period. They basically were like, we're all set. From what I understand, you know, it's just one of those things where guys in college, usually they go, well, you can coach our AHL team first. Yeah. And then if that works out, okay, that's what the wings did with Blaschell. And why would you do that if you're, like, running a good program?

And, like, you're the king of the kid. Like, the king of the hill. No, exactly. Yeah. And, you know, this is a little speculation on my part. But let's see. Where does Ron Haxstall know Dave Haxstall from? Oh, his kid played for him at North Dakota.

Right. And that's the connection. Right. In, like, because that was a bit of a out of left field high. I mean, Haxstole was a good college coach, but everybody was like, what? I think that's, I think that's solid speculation. and also they had similar names so it's like the two Spider-Man's pointing at each other

name. That's right. But you're incompetent. Yeah, why does it seem like he can't coach young guys? Why does he get so, he puts everything on gossus bear, he's scratching Nolan Patrick? I figure a college coach would be good with the younger players. He'd be like, hey.

Well, I mean, he's an old school hockey guy, man. Like, these young, talented guys, they're the problems when the old shitty guys fuck up. You're not, you're not, sport. You're not doing well with Andrew McDonald's on your other side?

Well, I read a graphic recently that said Andrew McDonald's coming back soon. He's an impact player, baby. And he's an impact guy. Him and Ben Simmons. Or Ben Simmons. How dare they? So you got Drew who's 29.

You've got Simmons was 29. You've got Voracek who's 28. And then you've got obviously a chiton of good young players. What do you do? Simmons seems to be the one where people are like, what are they going to do with him? Because he's got two years left on his deal.

Right. And is imminently more. tradable than Vorechak or Drew, I think at this point, given them contracts. So what do you think they do with them? Because I think that's sort of like, is this a problem or a potential solution to a problem that will still

be okay in the next couple of years? I mean, my, my anytime there's a team that's like, you know, 18th best in the league. Oh yeah. Blow it up. Oh, absolutely. You guys need your blow it ups. I love it.

Teams have blown it up and actually you know, come back and won a cup. how many blow-ups have we had well I mean the Blackhawks were kind of blown up by accident well that's what I was going to say Penguins was the same thing they were just shitty for like six years in a row

and I believe I haven't won a cup but they're probably going to at some point I would like to point out that the difference here is that the Flyers have a commitment to excellence per the late Ed Snyder so they can't blow it up they've got to be in contentionally well right that's why the Bruins will never blow that's why the Rangers will never blow it up

because they just have like owners who were like We have to be in the playoffs every single year. Blah, blah, blah. I think the Rangers could blow it up. It's just their fans wouldn't notice for like three years. It's like, oh, have you noticed that the Rangers have been winning? Oh, I know. This lobster's delicious, though.

That's what happens in the lower bowl. Wow. Yeah. Got them. Yeah. I don't know. What was happening in the first? He was thinking about the scene in American Psycho, the novel, where they go to the Rangers game.

Is there a scene? I don't think there is. I read it in college. I don't remember now. I couldn't help but notice this ticket was a beautiful ivory. Movie references. I love American Psycho. It's a great movie.

Maybe too much. I haven't seen it in forever. Yeah. That's where we first fell in love with Christian Bale. I'll give newsies the bad news. Oh, shut up. Fuck newsies. Got them.

I remember I went to, I was, me and Ruby were out one night, and we went to like a Tim Hortons for like a late night coffee or whatever. and this family comes in. There's a kid dressed like a little newspaper boy. We're like, this is weird. And we didn't realize he had just come from newsies, so he was like dressing the part, which is like he was very eccentric.

Oh, it was cosplaying. He was cosplaying as a newsie. Oh. I saw Coco the other day. Yeah. Did you cosplay as one of the day of the kids? No, but as I was leaving the theater, it's right next to the theater where they do the nutcracker in Boston every December.

and it was just a million kids dressed up like little ballerinas and it was like, I don't get out of the sidewalks. Not my kid, she dresses like the rat. Rat King. So adults go to sporting events and dresses the players, but they don't do it when they go to Broadway shows? No, they don't. I dress my daughter like...

I guarantee people have done that for Hamilton. They're like, I'm the Hercules guy or whatever. I dress my daughter like a rat so she can enjoy the Nutcracker and make a strong statement for our union, brother and sisters. Keep those scabs away. And also, maybe you get some pizza in the subway. You never know. Indeed.

That's a great reference. That is a solid two and a half year old. I don't know that, but sneakers, my dog was pizza rat for Halloween that year. Did you know that? Oh, you dressed your dog up. I do remember that now that you say it. Was that a, do you dress your dog for Halloween?

Why the fuck would you have a dog otherwise? No, because there's dog. Yeah, to be your friend. And to dress them up like memes, obviously. That's my favorite thing every year is like a Halloween photos with dogs. And every dog face is just...

Some miserable ass dog Like being forced to wear devil horns Or like a Trump wagon It's like this is a statement The only problem with dress... About the Cheeto in chief The only problem with dressing up sneakers As memes every year is her fur got cinch

Because we made her the dog in the room That's on fire this time And so we just lit fire all around Oh, that dog, sure With her little hat on It was so uncomfortable We won though The hardest part was getting her to hold that mug

say this is fine say this is fine say this is fine again anyways you know what's fine boys yeah it's about time for this I thought I think it's fine to save some money

when you're buying tickets to a hockey game you know how you do that how you do that for our friends at seat geek a proud sponsor this very podcast Ryan you know there's nothing quite like seeing your favorite team or musician in person

As a person who listens to podcast, I did know that. Did you know that buying tickets, the sporting events, and concerts could be very complicated, what with the money changing hands? I want it to be more simple, Greg. Is there a way to have it be more simple? Oh, there is a simpler way to buy tickets. That's a problem for me. Through our friends with Seekek. Seek's seamless mobile experience lets you buy and sell tickets in just two taps.

Better yet, by searching multiple ticket sites to compare prices and grading each ticket based on value. Seek helps you find the best seats for the best. best price fully guaranteed. So you don't have to go and buy tickets from that greasy fat guy outside the arena trying to hike up the price for a game you want to attend. You can go to Seeky and see exactly how much these tickets should cost with their scoring method. I was at the Celtics game on Monday. They lost to the Detroit Pistons.

And there were a bunch of scalpers outside. We literally had, me and my friends had bought tickets off Seat Geek. Wow. Look at that. That's synergy. Are you aware of the promo code that could save you money on your games? Yeah, did you use the promo code? I was not the purchaser of said tickets.

So I don't know if my friend Kevin got up on the Puck Soup promo code or one of them. Well, assume he did. I think he did. If you haven't done it. He loves hockey and knows so much about it. For future reference, if you ever taking our friend Ryan to another Celtics game, make sure that you use Seek as your go to Approvining the best deals on every type of ticket. Because best of all, if you're listening to this method,

message, Kevin. You can get $20. Not you, Kevin, Kevin in theory. Any Kevin could if they wanted to do this. That's right. Kevin Connolly, Islanders fan, Kevin Costner, baseball actor. Baseball actor. Baseball actor. Gruff guy. Polaris death scene in Superman movies. I was going to say, you know we should get to play podcast? Kevin Costner.

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Seek, a proud, wonderful sponsor of Puck Soup. You know what I think it's time to do? What's that, Lozo? We got some questions for Ryan. Oh, do you? And they're dinosaur-related. Oh, boy. A dinosaur quiz for our good friend, Ryan Lambert?

It's not really a quiz. I think it's more just like they want to tap into his knowledge a little bit. So they're looking for dinosaur opinions. Well, no, dinosaur facts. And dinosaurs. I'm assuming they're not opinions. Somebody asks, when T-Rex and an allosaurus fought, who won? Well, so, I mean, an allosaurus is...

It's A-L-L-O, is that right? And Alas. This is podcasting. It's sort of a... We're painting a picture with our words. What is an allosaurus? Well, it is a smaller theropod dinosaur than a T-Rex, certainly. Also, the problem with this question is that, of course, an allosaurus existed.

of millions of years before the T-Rex arrived. I think we're thinking about if there was a dinosaur mortal combat arena and champions from different tribes and places were put in the arena together. So you're talking about a Jurassic Park 3 scenario where the T-Rex fights the

the Spinosaurus. Or a situation where the DNA of dinosaurs has been developed and they're all living on an island together even though they're from different eras. Oh, so like Jurassic Park 1 or 2? Right. Or or Jurassic World for that matter.

But not Jurassic World because we're talking about real dinosaurs and not genetically mutated ones that are created because kids are too into their iPods and their iPads now. We've got to create a monsterosaurus. Niedi Wong was just doing his job. What was the name of the dinosaur and Jurassic World they created? That's a great question. Gigantosauris.

No. Excelsiorosaurus? Yeah, it was something like that. Like murdersaurus or something? To be fair, I've only seen that movie like four times, so I can't remember. I can't remember. So this was a T-Rex and an Allosaurus. Yeah, so the answer is a T-Rex.

Okay. By a lot. Next one coming in is, since all dinosaurs had either green or brown scaly skin, how did ones of similar size tell each other apart? Well, of course, they didn't all have green or brown scaly skin. We have no way of knowing the color, of course, but we do know that many Theropod-Depad dinosaurs would have been feathered. Buddy.

Yeah. Indominus Rex. That's right. Indominus Rex. Indominus rex. M.k.a. M. Gensus Murdersaurus.

What else do we have here? In the immediate aftermath of the asteroid hitting the earth, which of them would have lasted the longest? I guess them as dinosaurs. Well, I mean, it would probably be the plant-based dinosaur. The small... Plant-based. Well, here's the thing.

Oh, the ones that ate plants. Oh, okay. I was picturing like a plant that was also a dinosaur. I don't know. I'm not a dinosaur expert. Yeah. Well, so it would be the small ones, certainly. I mean, that's what became birds.

So. Mm-hmm. The dinosaurs that exist today. Mm-hmm. That's right. What sort of tools do archaeologists use to dig up dinosaurs? Paleontologists dig up dinosaurs. Archaeologists dig up people stuff.

But archaeologists don't do any of the dinosaur stuff? I would imagine that they've stumbled upon things, certainly. but no. It's a different thing. This one's long. These 280 character things have to stop. Farrow's were known to have many jewels, precious stones, etc.

Okay. Ethically speaking, would you be okay with scientists and or governments possibly destroying those jewels in order to find the fossilized mosquitoes necessary to extract dinosaur DNA? Well, listen, DNA obviously

has a half-life of like 521 years I think is the number. Oh, this is like a job. Jurassic Park question, right? Yeah. So the Jurassic Park, of course, is for many reasons, not just DNA half-life-related, physically impossible. And I guess one more. This is another fighting question.

When Tyrannosaurus Rex and Spinosaurus fought, who typically won? Well, in Jurassic Park 3, we all know Spinosaurus 1. But that was only put into the movie because the, like, paleontological, what's the word? Like, he gives them information on set. What's the word I'm looking for? Oh, um. Huh? Like an expert?

Yeah. But there's like a technical, anyway, so that guy is like a famous paleontologist who, uh, he had like a pet theory that a spinosaurus would win. And then like other paleontologists were like, well, this would never happen. Oh, one more. What are dinosaur horns made from? Oh. I mean, the same stuff as their bones of keratin or whatever. Brass.

Because it says I assume they're just cartilage. No. They're like, if they were. cartilage they would have not survived the fossilization process. So it had to be bone.

Yeah. Bone dinosaur. Okay, by the way, those questions were all from Sean Gentile. Of course they were. I'm not surprised by that at all. In an effort to re-rebirth dinosaur corner, which no longer exists

because you don't want to do the podcast. Yeah, it's my, it's my thing of why that podcast doesn't happen anymore. The mailbag this week is ask Ryan Lambert anything, and a few people have asked, what happened to your podcast tick the sports. Yeah. You're going to have to ask John.

Oh, it sounds like we've got a bit of a rivalry here. It's no rivalry. It's just like, I would say, hey, you want to do the show this week? And be like, I have to blank. And then there was just like any. Play match game? That's right. I said bippy.

No, it was just like he was in a softball league this summer. A softball league? That's why we lost the podcast? That really jammed up the recording process and other stuff happened to. And then it's just a thing of like, I don't want to do it anymore. Like, after all this time, we almost got goaded into a Halloween episode,

but someone couldn't do it that night. I don't know. Big softball game that night. Yeah. It was a costume softball game. Yeah. He dressed up as a dinosaur and played third base. Ryan Lambert, why do you think scoring is up?

Power plays are a little bit up, I want to say. That's true. And power play conversion is super high up. No, it's the same. I think it's like 19%. I think it's like the same as it was last year, but there's more power play. Well, so Greg's referring to an article, he wrote that I did not have a chance to read. No, I'm not, I'm referring to my hours of painstaking research that I crafted into an article that you didn't have to read.

I mean, I assume others did. But I'm saying that the power play conversion rate would be the highest it was, it's been in 25 years if it stays at 19%. That sounds right. Yeah. So there's more power play goals. But it's like 19.1 compared to like 18.9 last year. Right. But it's been climbing.

there's something happening my theory is that power plays are getting overloaded with with like four forwards sort of a trend towards forward forwards in the league and penalty kills are getting super overly aggressive because teams are putting guys like McDavid out there

to try to try to these bums these bums like McDavid why would you put a defensive liability who turns over the fuck like Connor McDavid on a picket. I think teams approach the kill as an offensive opportunity in ways that they haven't in years past. Now that might just be it in a general sense that these teams

and the power play are going to turn the puck over because they're because of their structure with one guy in the blue line, he could pressure him and whatever. Or it could just be that the overall speed of the league has gotten to the point where you can assume the penalty kill is going to result in odd man rushes each time. Well, I think short-handed scoring is up

just because the Buffalo Sabers power play. It's hilarious because Phil Halsley's their coach. You'd think it would be one fucking thing that that guy could teach it'd be run a power play. Have you seen their blue line? It's terrible. it's a bad blue line it's really bad

it could just be one of those things though the scoring increasing yeah i i think it definitely like you know anytime there's a rules emphasis change like penalties get called a crazy amount in the first two months of the season then by january a thing that would have been

not a hook last year and then was like a double minor for hooking in the first two months of this season they're just not calling it again that was one of the things i learned in doing the story was the fact that like because they called someone so many

slashing penalties in the first two months this season it kind of changed the way the fence when we're approaching

it. So like now all of a sudden the slots opened up for shooters more because they know that they can go there without getting

hacked and whacked and once they get there they're not getting hacked and whacked anymore either. So it has it's had an effect but I think we all agree

that like the legal fuck it up. Of course of just stop calling it and it'll go back to the way it was and all the scoring will regress

and the dark days will be here and it'll be sad because right now it's super fun. It's super fun to watch a game. And at any point, if it's a one goal game in the third period, you're like, someone can come back in this game as opposed to normal hockey

where you're like, what's going on in the NBA right now? That's a good sport. It's an insanely good thing. They know what they're doing. I'm so ragingly jealous of the NBA right now. Please don't like your sport. The ratings are 24% up. There's like

seven or eight teams, including the Celtics, that you give a shit about. And And like there are so many little, I mean, they've always been a sport that can market stars better than anybody else just because they're on the floor for like 80% of the game. But like there's so many these little rivalries that I give a shit about. Like you can match up five or six, seven, eight different teams and just based on who the two stars are, I'm going to give a shit about that game. Yeah, they know what they're doing. I'm super jealous right now. It's, you know what it is too is they have a salary cap just like the NHL, but the way they, the way it's all set up now, there's like four or five super teams, right?

and the other games involving like the 21st best team and the 19th best you're not going to watch that same way in hockey but hockey doesn't really have more like Tampa's awesome but I mean they're not it's a parody I mean the difference is like obviously like to Greg's point about

the stars play 80% of the game in hockey the stars play less than a third of it yeah and also you know they only have to sign 12 guys to on a hundred and twenty million dollars or whatever and in hockey you're going to sign 23 plus if you're burying salaries in the AAHL.

Where do you stand on that? That's a constant debate on this podcast and every other podcast about the marketing of the NHL. Should it be star-centric, team-centric? Can you market stars in this league when, like you said, they're hardly on the ice? Well, of course you can, but like not given the NHL's culture. Because no star, like, what is discernibly different between Jonathan Taves and Patrice Bergeron? for like in their personalities or whatever I don't know like honestly

they're just Bertrand has thicker eyebrows well sure yeah but drives me nuts is like Taves is the most boring dude in front of like a camera and a microphone and he goes on Twitter and he has all these opinions about the environment and like the world

a podcast about like Eastern philosophy and he just opens up right but that but the second he writes that some some dipshit in the Sun Times is going to be like listen why doesn't he just play hockey you know like whereas Joel Embede can go on on TV and be like I'm at 69% right now.

And Jaling Rose goes, that's super unprofessional. And he goes, okay, I'm at 81%. Just to remind him of the Kobe game one more time. Message to you, Jonathan Taves. We're not buying tickets to hear about your green partying, eh? Yeah. And like, Gronk is like hammered after a touchdown and going 69 touchdowns, bro. Yeah.

And everyone's like, I love that guy. Yeah, and here in the league, it's like, I want to wear number 69. No, you don't. You want to wear number 68 in honor of Yamaria Yaga. I want to shout out Andrew Day. Jardin who used to wear who wore 69 for like three or four years. And then like somebody got traded or something and he changed it. And it's like, oh, if you're going to.

Yeah. Greg McHag wore it in the preseason a little bit. And we were talking about this before the show. Like we, we, this is a league that allowed a man named Grant Clitsum to earn a paycheck. And yet you can't wear number 69 in this league. It's absurd. It's absurd. It's almost standards.

Oh, you, we should mention that. So as you know, we wrote a book, uh, the 100 greatest players. in an NHL history and other stuff. And the most popular part of the book is the 100 greatest NHL names that sound like sex things. But you found out we skipped the name. Yeah, Duff has it in her book. What was it again? It was something CUNTY.

C-U-N-T-I. What was the first name? I can't remember what it is now. Luca Cunty? Luca, yeah. Luca Cunty. Well, like, he wasn't an NHL player, though. I don't think he ever made the league.

Why would I search the word cunt on hockey reference? I wouldn't assume anybody has the name cunt. Like Dick, balls, Harry. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. But, like, I didn't type in penis. I didn't think anybody was going to be named Joseph Penis. That's Pene. I was going to say, this is a Finnish guy?

Penis Grigio. Penis Grisio. Denny Savard, Pene, Grisio. Yeah, you type in E-N-I-S. You get, like, 57 guys who were, like, French-Canadian Dennis's. That's all you get. Cunty. Who knew?

Who knew? Is that why he didn't make the NHL because his name was too dirty from the HAL? We'll keep him at number 101. We'll fix it in the edit. Well, since apparently the NHL celebrating the 100 years every year for the next seven years, we can just do another book. Let me talk about that. So, yeah, I mean, plus once you get another season deleted in like two years or so, you can have another one of those. Let's talk about that too.

So I went to the Paley Center this week for the debut of the New York debut. It's already been in theaters in Canada of the NHL 100 documentary. They did a documentary about the league. and it's 100 years and it's centennial. And it's about what you'd expect. You know, we're talking about Rocket Richard. We're talking about Gordie Howe. The Bobby Orr, he's jumping through the air.

There's a photograph. I didn't even know I would look like Superman. It seemed bullshit you can see on. Can't get enough of that. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's great. And then, you know, the great stories. Why is the baby boomers going to die?

Like, for real, dude. Like, I don't need to hear about anything that happened before 1990 ever again. Well, are you aware that the United States? United States Olympic team in 1980. Jesus Christ. Defeated the Soviets. Oh my God.

Believe me. Now, was that for the gold medal, Dave? Or was that for... Actually, a lot of people believed that as for the gold medal. But they had to win another game after that. To win... It's a crazy thing. So we get through the 50s.

We get through the 60s. We get to expansion. Now we're doing the Broad Street bullies. But the bullies would find out there was someone that could even bully them. We get into Canadian's. But this would be... be the start of a number of dynasties. Islanders

dynasty, Oilers dynasty right into the Rangers in 94. The classic New York Rangers dynasty. And then we go One championship in 80 years is basically a dynasty. Well, while one original six team was excelling, another one

was about to start its own dynasty. Now we go to the Red Wings. But the Red Wings found in their own conference quite a competitor. now it's Colorado. Wait, are you doing the John Ham voice right now?

I was just going to say, poor John Hamm. No, I'm not. Was he drunk? An impression of the shitty writing. If you want me to do the John Hamm, it's like, it's like, I can't even fucking do it. He doesn't have like a voice you can do. Yes, you can.

Yes, he does. It's, it's, picture Christmas. Family sitting in front of the fireplace. That's a twilight zone. No, no, no, no, no. Imagine if you will. That's different.

a carousel right remember in that episode your feet are in the sand looking at the water do you walk in there that's just it uh no john ham was the narrator but no

so we go from colorado and now we go from colorado to where do you think oh here we go i knew this was going to be about the devils it's not about the devils they skip the devil they skip the devils the devils were i i was not a dynasty i was literally sitting there and i'm being like where are the devils

cups and then they they kind of they bought them in by talking about Bordor like in the era of great goalies him and Juan Hachick like they talked about Bordor there so that was their way of addressing the devil's cups which was funny because I'm sitting there being like

where the fuck are the devil's and Candanico that was on a who was on a panel afterward he's like when I was sitting there being like where the fuck are the devil so uh so what do they do they do the they go from Colorado and Detroit to the next dynasty

what the Daua Stars because they almost won two in a row? The Chicago Blackhawks. And they talk about the Blackhawks, Sid and Ovi, and whatever. I'm willing to give them that that's pretty much a dynasty. You need to win consecutively. No, it's a dynasty. At least once during the... Oh, are we going to have this a bit...

The Blackhawks are a dynasty in the... I think they are. Sure. You can't win every other year and be a dynasty. Sure you can. If you do it three times, you can. Yeah, absolutely. No.

Why? If they had won two, then didn't win one and then won a third one at three and four years, that's a dynasty. Three and six is not a dynasty. dynasty. In a capped era? Penguins won two in a row in a capped era. So is that a dynasty?

They do it again, yeah. So you have to win. Bad news for you. I think what the Blackhawks did could be considered a dynasty. For sure. Anyways. So they do that. Now, the thing I wanted to talk about is this.

You bought up labor stopages earlier, which got me on this thing. Lockouts. Yeah. Yeah, let's not, let's call them what they are. What do we don't? There were owner lockouts by greedy players. Let's all agree on that. Those had no home in this documentary.

Weird how that didn't come up. Weird how a canceled season that literally was like pounding the reset button for hockey. And after the lightning won the cup, Sidney Crosby walked into the... Right. Wait, what? It's like everything changed. It's like up was down. Left was right.

All of a sudden there's no fucking two line passes. So like nothing is mentioned of that. but there is a moment in the documentary where I was enjoying it I'm like what a wonderful trip down memory lane look it's like Brian Trotier talking about the Islanders and like Gretzky talking about being Gretzky and like those Oilers teams

man I'm having a girl they also talked about Gretzky the trade they talk about the trade in the L.A. Oh I can't imagine why that came up yeah and so and so like people it's like oh this is fantastic I'm like this I'm really feeling the nostalgia I'm getting into it and then it's like at one point They're like...

And then, in 1992, a plucky executive from the National Basketball Association was hired as the first commissioner of the National Hockey League. Now, keep in mind, up until this point, we've had mentions of, like, Clarence Campbell and mentions of other, like, league presidents

vis-a-vis their roles in giant controversies. Carrence Campbell was dick-punched by Rocket Richard or whatever the fuck. He had that comment. But now, at this point... Everyone knows that. The whole thing just goes, screaching halt. And now we're talking about the hiring of Gary Betman.

Yeah. Yeah, dear leader. Exactly what it is. So, dear leader gets on and he, and he's like, you know, I saw the opportunity in that. And it's like people talking about Betman. And they transitioned into like, Commissioner Betman oversaw a boom time in the National Hockey League,

full of outdoor games. Cut to outdoor games. Technology. Cut to an iPad at this fucking thing with the lines. And it was like, it was seriously. Simpsons bit. It was like seriously, like, it was like, the whole time you're like, oh, these are, this is real film craft. Like, I'm feeling emotions.

I love hockey. Hockey, hockey, hockey. And then all of a sudden, it's like, it's like somebody like a PA walked in and be like, shouldn't we kiss the ass of the person financing this? Like, oh, shit, we forgot the entire section about dear leaders. It's the Globex Corporation welcome video where the homeless guy turns into a mailbox. Right. So that part really took me out of it.

Oh, by the, and, and I mean, it's just. whatever. Like I was, I understand that it's not an independent look at the history of hockey. Are the Olympics mentioned? No. But it's about the NHL. It's about the NHL. Who plays in the last, like, six of them? But they also didn't talk about the Summit series. Like, it was just about the league. So I give them a pass on that. But again, I'm shocked they didn't bring up the summit. Because that happened in 1972, I think. Right. Yeah. I know we're not talking about CTE. I know we're not talking about, like, lockouts. But the section on Batman was just like, oh, my, come on.

Like, Batman got more fucking airtime than, like, Ted Lindsay did. I will say, I have long held that, like, Gary Bettman is unfairly maligned because, like, he's the face of these, like, horror. That's right. Bava, bavabobo. Gary Batman. But, like, no. I mean, he's the face of these, like, ghoulish billionaire creeps who are like, these players are making too much money. They're all making like $2 million a year.

It's too much. Yeah. We need to roll back their share to, what was it? 24%. Well, no, they rolled it back 24%. 43. It was like 57. Then it became 53.

And then it was like 53%. Gary, they're killing us. And he's like, I think we got to go with 50. you but you I mean you bring up a point in the same point I've made a lot about Batman is that like I feel like he deserves to be maligned about a lot of stuff can't argue with the success the leagues had

yep sure you can't argue with the innovations that that happened on his watch but I think a lot of those are low puck for example yeah because no coming back baby if anybody else was commissioned or nobody else would have been like hey I got an idea games on the internet nobody would have thought of that

Gary Gary thought of that all by himself where I think he's maligned unfairly is that people think that like the bad rules are his doing when he has little little to do with any of that shit you know well right because he has to then go out and be like I think they're great yeah you know like yeah oh yeah for sure he has to be the PR spin guy all the time well that's exactly so like any animus people have toward the sport for the litany of extremely good reasons you would not like this sport like they just go and it's Gary Betman's fault and meanwhile Jeremy Jacobs is like rolling around in a pile of money

and like trying to get people who live near his horse farm in Florida evicted or whatever Was that story? Wasn't that a story in like the Florida business journals? Are you thinking of Rand Paul? No, that's one of the great stories.

That was a good story. How great is it that a libertarian weirdo gotten a fight over like land demarcation? Amazing. But the thing about Gary Betman is he's the only commissioner of the NHL has ever known. So you don't know if things would be better or worse with somebody else.

but everyone just assumes, oh, Gary Betman, they're great because of Gary Betman. Like, what was it? It was a blog that did the Dave Nannis versus a potato thing? I think it was Pension Plant Popper. Pension plant. Yeah, right. Like, what if we did that potato versus Gary Bettman?

Like, would anything be different? What would be different if we had a potato there instead? Nothing. Exactly the same. We would know what time it is. You would plug in the little wires. Did you ever have to make a science fair project? I did the potato once.

I didn't go to school. Did you ever make a diaries? that wasn't dinosaurs? I had to do the solar system when I was in like second or third grade. I stumbled across it. Like at my parents, I was like not this past night, like Christmas last year.

Like I was putting something in the basement. I was like, oh, look at that. I guess that looks like Jupiter. How did you do yours? I did mine with like, it was like a box and then like I put like black paper inside of it and like glitter. Oh,

I did. Mine I went to Michaels and got Starphone balls. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And used like wire hangers or something. You know, I'm going to put this out there. I think we all did the same exact project as every other man, woman and child over the age of 18 in the United States. There's one, like, genius who made triangles and, you know, abstract shapes.

Yeah. To be like, this is what Neptune should feel like. But the rest of us were, like, making the Michael's balls. Like Saturn is, like, super cold. He's like, wow, it's so far away. Oh, wow. Speaking of balls. Oh, no.

Oh, boy. Ryan Kessler and the Anaheim Ducks worked together for a really funny bit this week. I thought you were segueing into Thanos. No. I was like, what did I not see in that trailer? Speaking of balls, Arnie Hammer's Balls were edited out of Call Me By Your Name because they were, did you read this story? I don't, I don't really click on anything. That's Army Hammer.

So Armie Hammer had to wear short shorts. Is he? I don't know. Apparently is phenomenal in this movie. He had to wear short shorts, so they digitally removed his ball sack from certain shots. because his penis and balls were so big that they were showing through the shorts that's what the correct yeah oh so it's like the mustache for the super man right it's Henry Cavill yeah they're now editing the balls into uh into justice league uh movie magic the greatest the greatest comment

maybe in the history of the internet was when the story was reported do you see billy eichner's tweet no billy eichner said i hope they don't digitally replace his balls with christopher plumbers i get it oh this the kevin spacey joke because of the thing yeah that movie looks horrible. Why? The one they digitally all the money in the world.

Well, they didn't digitally remove him. They just reshot like three quarters of that movie in like two weeks. I was really hoping for a while until I read what they actually did

that they digitally removed him. Like it's just people standing around and looking at Kevin Spacey's eye level and it's just like Christopher Plummer like digitally. Like a Jar Jar Jar Binks into the scene. That's right.

Here I am. It's me. John Getty or whatever that guy's name was. It's like the opposite of the end of Gladiator because what's his name died while they were shooting.

Oh, Alvareed. Yeah, yeah. So, like, at the end, there's, like, a weird scene where, like, he's giving Russell Crow the keys to get away, and he's clearly like, he's almost like Ben Kenobi at the end of Star Wars. It's like the opposite of that. Digally remove Kevin Spacey from the usual suspects. No, I was talking about Ryan Kessler's balls because they were covered up by a black,

a black band on a goofy, happy birthday NHL video the Ducks made where he walks naked past unsuspecting women in his office. and then into the HR office to say I'm in my birthday suit. Happy birthday, NHL. And then it got taken down pretty quick. Well, I mean, if you're going to do a video like that, this is definitely the climate you want to do it. Oh, yeah, for sure. Absolutely.

See, I will defend that video, even though it's not funny. It's bad. It's a bad SNL sketch. It's a bad SNL sketch. But, like, I don't understand how Harvey Weinstein doing, basically committing sexual assault allegedly. Has anything to do with a sketch that's scripted with Ryan Kessler walking through? How many women have come forward about this? the workplace, though, in this last couple

months. But it's not even that. It's literally just read the room. It really, like, it doesn't have anything to do with that. Oh, it's stupid. It's not like, but like it's just like, like I said, it's the client, like, now's not the time, quote unquote, not the time. I don't care, but like, it's just like one of those deals where it's just like, how did anyone not

say? Right. Like how many, like how many people said yes to this? Honestly, without anybody saying, the dogs are bad at this stuff. But here's the easy fix. Just have him walk into the office that he walks into at the end of the bit. Naked. That's it. You don't have to have him walking past women in the office. Right.

Like, if you're going to do the bit, why doesn't he just go into the locker room before a game with all his teammates there? And he's like, oh, it's my birthday. Well, right. Like, why is he in, why would he be in the duck's office anyway? You're funny. You obviously know it's funnier to force women to see someone's cock. But that's not, but that's not the joke, though. That is the joke.

That is not. That is not. That's absolutely the joke. The joke is Ryan Kessler is a dumbass and doesn't understand what the English. Well, that's not a joke. Yeah, I mean like... That's almost that documentary. Like, Brian Kessler, like, he's not walking through the office,

wiggling his balls and dick in front of people. He's just walking through the office thing because it's his birthday suit. L.O.L. Ha, ha. There was, and I was stunned by how many people came out and be like, humor police, blah, blah, blah, about this shit. Like, like, I said, I, like, I'm not offended by it or, like, I'm offended by it as a person who likes comedy. Yeah, I'm offended by the lack of humor in it, for sure.

But, like, it really is a thing of, like, what percentage, like, what percentage of people are going to be, like, well, why would you do this? Yes. Like, given what's going on right now, and if that number is more than like 4% or whatever, there should be multiple executives at the ducts going like, we shouldn't do this video. That, like, that, I'm just amazed by somebody retweeted that, remember when that woman, like, escaped captivity?

It was like a room situation where she'd been abducted when she was like 11. Oh, and the guy wrote the column about all this stuff she missed. And it's like, how much. She left the yard. Yeah. God, that was bad. Was that she went yard? No, she left the yard.

Oh, she left the yard. Yeah. It's like, congratulations. Oh, my God. And it's just like, somebody retweeted that today. And I was like, I forgot that happened. But it was the same thing when I'm reading it. I'm like, how many people read this and we're like, put it in the paper?

And it's still on the website now. Oh, it's like, it's the O. It's the O.C. register, right? I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think Yeah, that sounds right. It's still up on the O. Are you ready for a Blue Jackets Cup Final, Ryan Lambert? Is your body ready for it?

I don't think either of those teams is going to make the cup final, but they're both playing well. What was your Cup Final before the season? What is it now? I think I might have sent Penn's Preds again, and the Preds are looking like they could do it. I think I said Lightning Ducks. I might have said, I don't remember now. And to my, in my defense, I didn't realize the ducks would have everybody injured. Right. And that Cory Perry would be turning into a defense.

I feel like mine never actually published because, like, somebody who used to work at my website, uh, stopped doing that right before the season. So I, like, there's no way for me to even check. I saw, I saw him puck, tell you pointed out of puck daddy that, like, when I left, like, I had, I had published all my, my preview shit before I left and then, like, Cuthbert, I think, like, put up his own shit. Yeah. Like, to override.

Like, these aren't really the predictions. for fuck daddy anymore. Yeah, we're editing you out of all the photos like Stalin. You're out. That's it. It's like, it's like, it's like written by Christopher Plummer, Plummer over and over again. No, I, uh, it's fine. Who Gives of shit?

This is now a Christopher Plummer podcast. That's right. That's right. Plummer cast. Like, get Ryan Cessler out of the sketch and just put Christopher Plummer in there in a nice suit. That's right. Talking elegantly.

That's right. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, and you cling on makeup with an eye patch quoting Shakespeare. Oh, yeah. Star Trek 6. The undiscovered country. Never seen the Star Trek. Star Trek movie in my entire...

How is that possible? I don't like Star Trek. What? I don't like Star Trek. You never saw any of them. You never saw Wrath of Khan. No, well, you know what? I shouldn't say that.

I saw all the new ones. You saw the Chris Pine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw all those. But like... So you saw a movie in Star Trek into darkness that was completely based on another movie you never saw?

Like, I get it. Like, it's one of those things where like, Khan, like, all that stuff's in the zeit guys so much that like, anytime somebody posts a reaction video of like, this is my kids watching Empire Strikes Back for the first time. Like, I don't buy that for a second. Like, every kid knows. Like, that's just out there.

Oh, you mean as far as the surprise. Yeah, it's fake. Like, all those videos are fake. Like, just like, uh, all those kids who were like, or all the reporters who were like, my kid just turned to me and said, yeah, mommy, why is Donald Trump trying to raise taxes on the bottom 10% of Americans? Dude, I love when people do that. They're serious.

Clara Jeffrey is A number one. at doing that. Like, either she has the smartest kid that's ever lived, or it's all made up. And I don't know which way I'm going to go with it. There was a priest or somebody or like a parishioner or something. And it was when a, like, famous singer, Sierra, Sierra? She sung it like the college football championship game. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And, like, this guy was like, my two-year-old was like, why wouldn't she cover up her boobies or something? I was like, there's no fucking way. Your child cares and he can even identify what's going on. That kid has a real sense of propriety going. Yeah, great! Great! Oh, God, I hate the internet.

But Mommy, the Lord's watching. So wait, so what's your cup final now? What are you feeling? Tampa's going to come out of the evening. I think it's got to be Tampa and give me Nashville out of the West. Yeah, I had Nashville missing the playoffs. I only think that was a good prediction. Oh, no, Greg.

And that was one of those things where it's like, they're playing pretty well right now, and also they don't have their number three defenseman, who's also their power specialist. I thought I get that big old peck up. René bum season. I thought they'd really miss Ellis more than they did. He's always good for stretches, though.

But again, like, he's been great so far this year. And I, like, I think I wrote like three columns in the playoffs last year. Like,

when is the bottom going to drop out of this? And the answer was game four. In fairness, I didn't realize they'd be adding a potential heart trophy winner,

Kyle Turris to the lineup. So in fairness, I didn't see that coming. Just a free concert. And going into the season, yeah, their number two center was Nick Benino.

And it's like, well, They got to dress that soon. And everybody was just kind of like, well, they'll just trade for Matthew Sheen. Right. And they almost kind of sort of maybe did. They didn't. They didn't.

Except. Yeah. Well, I mean, Matthew Shane's on pace for what's eight divided into one. That's, you know, 14. Enough wasn't said about him being a bit of a sensitive soul. 12. And that's a weird to, like, to have all the shit go down and then go to this Ottawa thing and learn that whole system and live there. I don't know, man.

And live there. I thought that was one of the drawing points to having him there because he's so close to his hometown. That's right. He's as close to his hometown as I am to New York City. Right. That's what, but yeah. That's the thing for all those guys. That's why Tavares is going to sign a one-year contract with the leaves next year to try to win a cup.

It's going to be the pride of living near home. When he lives, when he leaves here, when he leaves the islanders, oh, man, it's going to be just the saddest day. Someone asked me the other day if you, like, you win the lottery and you're going to buy an NHL team. Like, and you can buy anyone you want. Yeah. Like, who do you buy that you can reasonably assume could win a cup within, like, a decade? And, like, you, obviously, like, you can go in and be like, I'm firing Garth Snow or whoever. So, wait, are we talking about, like, I assume this is not, like, you can't buy all 31.

They're, they're, like, I'm talking, what I'm trying to say is that, like, these are, like, a franchise that you feel like, as a lottery winner. Like, you're buying low on these, on these, like, you're buying. So you wouldn't buy Nashville, right? Right. Well, you can't buy the Leafs. Right. Not for sale. That's what I'm trying to say.

Well, no, no. You could theoretically buy any team you wanted, but like... How big it's this lottery? But 1.2 billion. Like whatever the last power ball, big power ball was. It's like a 24 state lottery. Yeah. But it's just, it's a thing of like...

Is that in Bitcoin? That's right. It's over $1,000. You're just trying to buy low on a team, I guess. And like, hope that in the next decade you can turn them into a cup contender. So the Islanders are your team? is that the year? I think maybe.

Like, I like a lot of the guys they have. I like Carolina, but they just, for some reason, they just can't get over the home. I'm going to move those guys to Quebec, baby. Let's go. Oh, yeah, so my 1.2 billion American would be like 64 billion. I buy Vegas. It's not bad. Everybody's going to want to live there.

He said buy a low, not buy a first place team in a division. That's right, baby. Come on now. It only costs me $501 million to buy the team just so before they're going to have a profit. Yeah, I would buy Carolina. I keep them there because I don't want to live in Quebec. No offense. I don't want to, I just want to eat barbecue and have chick filets on every corner.

Well, they have. I mean, they've got meat in Quebec too. It's horse. Chevelle. Oh, like the smoked meat sandwiches? No, it's like horse meat. But that's not what the smoke meat sandwiches are made of unless I've been woefully misinformed by my friends in Montreal.

I mean, it's meat. It's just a vague general term. It's not doing anything. You're looking at the phone. What time is it? We've got to get out of here soon? No, no, no. Keep going on, boys.

Sorry. What else do we have? What else in the docket? We have Kessler. We talked about Kessler's dick and balls and ass. Oh, what's tradition on the podcast? We didn't get back to the whole thing about what surprises you. Oh, uh, Vegas being in any way good is, is a big surprise.

Yeah, that's baffling. Well, I mean, I looked it up the other day because, you know, I saw their home record. No other PDO is at home. Oh, it's got to be like 110 or something. 108. Yeah. It's insane. And the thing, the thing that's crazy is like, let's say Flurry was playing all these games.

I'd be like, oh, okay, sure. They're on like their third and fourth string goalies for like weeks. And they're still beating teams. They're scoring William Carlson's on pace for like 40 goals. He was a guy I liked in Columbus last year. I thought he was pretty good. But like he's not a number one center. And everybody's like, oh, maybe he is.

And it's like, I'm going to guess that he isn't. And the Russian guy they paid for. They're like, we don't need you anymore. Yeah. Oh, somebody just had an amazing take about that the other day where it's like they'd seen enough of him. And it's like, they saw for 20 minutes at the NHL or half an hour. hour maybe and it's just like that's enough yeah meanwhile meanwhile they're they're like number two

left wing is a guy that couldn't cut it on the florida pal although i mean i guess the florida panthers were just giving away middle six forwards dude i watched that team last night they're horrible they're a one-line team yeah oh absolutely that that first line's great yeah the bottom three are their their defense is just nightmare like james rimer it was weird after the game they're like James Reimer really held this in it. And I'm like watching up and like, the range is going to have like nine goals on him. But like, pucks were hitting post while he was like down on his knees and looking over this way. The puck's like flying.

He was just swimming all over the place. He's trying to say that maybe Vinnie Viola's been a bad owner? Hey, yo, wait. Why don't we trade this Marsha Sokid out of here? All you need is one good line. Put him in the front. They march ahead. Like in the army.

Well, thank God Dale Tallon took over that team again. You know, that may be the greatest quote of the year. thank God I'm back or whatever he said like I've never seen a guy just completely make transactions out of spite for like two months yeah his office he's in plan was well well that and also they very clearly got the edict you gotta cut some salary because like a bunch of the guys they got rid of were on their bigger money but they like just gave those guys all those contracts like I understand look I get it but it's baffling yeah and and the other thing is obviously you know the guys they got rid of were actual good hockey players who were making money they're They deserve to be made. Like, these were bad contracts, or, like, even overinflated contracts for guys who were pretty good. Like, Damaris wasn't even really that crazy. Well, Marsha's so was still on less than a million dollars. And they were like, he's got to go.

We got to get rid of Riley Smith. He scored 30 goals last year for $850,000. Look, and he's going to score 30 again this year. The show's been very hockey-centric, and I feel like we'd be remissive. We didn't talk about other things. What are your thoughts on Young Sheldon? Well, first of all, I've seen every episode of Young. Sheldon. Well, there's only been how many, like seven or eight?

Five, maybe. It started late in the TV season. Well, I know. I remember seeing all those commercials and billboards of a young plucky kid with a bowtie. He's got a bowtie. That's hilarious. That kid is the worst part of that show by a mile. Young Sheldon's the worst part of Young Sheldon? Okay, so hear me up.

All of the Tonight Show except for Jimmy Fallon. I like the roots. Yeah, well, yeah, actually it's a bad comparison. I do like everything on the tonight show, except for Jimmy Fallon. I like on the Tonight Show when they do a funny game from like the 90s. Oh, let's play charades! They're like, do you remember

the show from the 90s? You remember saying by the bow? What if we did a thing at the max? Oh my God, I hate Jimmy Fallon. What if we played with? Mealborn with Anna Kendrick. Millbourne, sick game growing up in a French Canadian family. Hell

yeah, dude. Wheelborn was the shit. I played that. I don't even know what it is. The three games It's a card game where you're trying to to race a thousand kilometers. Oh, a car game. No, it's a card game about cars. But so like you're going along, you put down, I just went a hundred kilometers or whatever, and I'm like, here you go, buddy, flat tire, and you're going to stay there until

you pull a spare tire car. Dude, I wish we had it right now. The three games my family played the most were Milborn. Yeah. Uno. And my dad, because he's my dad, had a full of. casino set where it was a giant felt

like a giant one side was roulette you flip it over the other side is craps and so my family would sit down family game night is it down and play roulette all night I think all the only

you're just putting your allowance on black and you're like I gotta I gotta win this back I'm like put my allowance on black and my dad's like a $10 minimum I'm like oh shit pay me more I'm 85 cents in the red

come on my dad also when I was a kid we got, my first, like, gaming system was the Atari 2600, which he bought after winning the, I won the football pool through my mom's office. My dad used the winnings to buy Atari 2600.

Of the first three games, two of them were gambling games, like casino from Activision and something else. They're math games, really. And then later on, we bought, when I got Super Nintendo for Christmas, I got, like, Supermire World and, like, Super Ghosts and Goblins. And then, like, I open up another,

like, Christmas present. It's, like, Vegas mistakes. What's this? He's like, oh, it's a great game. You're in a casino and people keep up walking up to you and they're like, hey, buddy, can I give a, get $100 from you? And if you give him $100, either they're going to steal it or they give you $200 for being nice.

Like, how do you know this much about this game? My man was reading Nintendo. How do you have this game, but like, going for the same joke? But like, he's also, he's also the guy in real life when he goes to the casino, he stays on 16 and when the dealer has like 18. He's like, I don't want to bust. You were getting educated as a child. You should be like a blind.

You should be like the Mike McDee from Rounders of Blackjack and Roulette. Staying. He should have seen him just. He got so pissed off at me. Because he was the anchor at the end too and he'd have like a 15. Maybe I just wanted to crap out and go talk to that finish guy that I was speaking with for all the time. Boy, that was the longest conversation I've ever stood next to or sat next to you for like, oh my gosh. Me and Yon Hibbaki hit it off.

I don't understand. He was a great guy. After you left, he sat down and talked to me. He won a contest to go watch the first Vegas Golden Knights game. And they interviewed him on camera. I think he swore on live TV. He had a full day. That guy rules.

So Young Sheldon Greater Than Sign Big Bang Theory? Oh, by a lot. Yeah. Yeah, see, you claim to not like the Big Bang Theory. I hate watch it. Like, I can't not. Like the leftovers for me.

Okay. Yeah, like, I've just been, but the difference is you watched 30 hours of TV. I'm on probably 300. Like, no, I think they've recently passed 200 episodes. Like, it's crazy how much of my life. It's never going to end. No.

Like, at some point, Young Sheldon will be as the same age as old Sheldon when Big bang started. Oh, no, you know what? I said that, like that kid, he's an awful actor, but he's not the worst thing about that show. The worst thing about that show is old Sheldon's wonder years-esque narration

of what happens. Oh, Jim Parsons narrates Young Sheldon. Yeah. God, that guy's so rich. He must have so much money just flowing in every week. And like, it's, it's written as poorly as the Big Bang theory is. The rest of the show is like normal good. Like, the

woman who plays his mom is like Lori Metcalf's actual daughter and she does a great Lori Metcalf. Oh, I thought the mom was Annie Potts. Is that nice? No, that's the grandma. Annie Potts is on the show? Yeah, she got added to the cast like halfway through season one. She's pretty funny on it.

I got to say, like, I got to say, I thought it would be another hate watch. Like, but I, it's not good, but like I don't sit there just being like, these motherfuckers. I don't know how. That's unbelievable. And you see every movie that ever. comes out. Yeah, but you haven't seen the Infinity War trailer. Why is that? I was driving here all day. But I've watched TV all the time when I'm driving. That's fair. You know what? I should have been doing that. It's a strange shot of the Jersey Turnpike. Um, I love, did you watch the trailer?

Yeah. It's great, right? You excited? It's a trailer. Aren't you, but you, you weren't excited, were you excited to see Captain America bearded and sort of like he's, rugged. So Captain America's bearded, um, what's the spy lady's name again? Black Widow. Black Widow. Black Widow, she's blonde now. Because they're all on the run. Someone has a different hairstyle, too. Oh, is that what that's... Oh, so the scene where they're running through the woods and like the hulks running behind them or whatever... They're in Wicanda.

So, like, basically the good guys have tracked down the bad guys, Captain America and his one-arm buddy. And they're chasing him through the woods to bring him to justice. It's not a bad guy. Captain America's a piece of shit. He's... He is the goodest of good. He's got a pure heart. Him and his dumb fucking Brooklyn friends.

He stood up for truth justice in the American way. He took down the hydra infiltration of shield. He's a hero of heroes, sir. and covered up a double homicide of his of his friends' parents. Great guy. Is there any way this flick's good? Like, it seems like it's going to be so overstuffed. Civil War was nearly not good because it was so overstuffed.

I trust all the Marvel movies. Civil War was too long, was the real issue with it. Like, it was pushing three hours, and it's like, I don't know what universe you think. I guess the Marvel expanded universe or whatever. They had to, I mean, they had to really, they had to, you know, get all that information about the villain plot in there. I'll get them both in the same castle, and then I will show them a video. I mean, it really was an intricate. It was almost like the game with Michael

Douglas where you had all these things happening. It had to happen perfectly. Right. Right. Yeah, I you know, I think it's hard to screw it up just because everybody likes most of those characters so much. You know what? Like, you're not going to these movies like, I guess I'm going to have to sit through another part with like Dave Batiste to do it. Like, you're like, oh, it's my friend from the movie.

Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, I think Infinity War is going to be good only because we haven't seen these combinations before. We haven't seen Thor and Drax, as you mentioned, interact. We haven't seen Doctor Strange and Spider-Man interact. Right. That would be fun. Yeah, I... Give me a bunch of those moments.

Hey, Ant-Man wasn't in the trailer, was he? He was very small. He missed that. Ah! Because he's an aunt. Oh, God. It's going to be fine, I think. Thoughts on Thanos?

Will they pull that off? Haven't they changed who plays Thanos, like, four times? It's Josh Brolin now. I thought it was always Josh Brollin. It wasn't in the first one. It was another guy who played him at the end, at the end credit stinger. Then it was Josh Brollen. But isn't Josh Brollen also playing cable in the...

Yes. So how this guy is double-dipping in Marvel. He's got a real Chris Evans, a human torch, uh, Captain America thing going on there. Yeah, but like, concurrently, though, that's the real problem is that like, if they ever find a way to get the X-Men involved in... But in fairness, it's a mocap performance for Infinity War. That's true. like Ahmed Best could be Jar Jar Binks and someone else

in a Star Wars film. I hope he's Jar Jar Binks twice. Star Gingx. And Missed Jar Jar Binks with a pink bow on her. The other thing I should say, when I want to see a movie and I'll see this, I'm not like super enthused about it, but like I haven't seen one second of any Star Wars trailers. And I probably shouldn't have said that because now people will send them to me.

But like you want to avoid them so you don't know what's going on. You're going to get ray-rolled. They're going to send you a YouTube movie. Yeah, I don't want to know. I literally want to know Z. So people are like, oh, the porgs. And I'm like, I'll find out what that is in like two months. Sounds good.

Oh, that's like, oh, yeah, it's not in two weeks, right? Yeah, I'm going opening night. Like Thursday night, 7 o'clock show. Speaking of interaction with people on Twitter, we have a question to the week, as per usual. And the question of the week is, ask Ryan Lambert anything. Well, that's not a question. And we got, I'm sorry, ask Ryan Lambert anything? And these are actually real questions.

We got a couple of real questions for you for Ryan Classic. Oh, boy. How have dinosaurs with feathers changed your life view? Can you expand on that? I guess so, man. When you were a kid, you probably thought they were just giant lizards with no feathers. Well, sure. I mean, like, so.

That birds came from them. Yeah, I mean, Jurassic Park certainly popularized that theory. I was like nine years old when it came out. So I hadn't read up on the ladies paleontological like findings or whatever. But they're all brown and green underneath the feathers, right? We just don't know. Did you know if you shave a tiger underneath a tiger's skin are stripes?

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody knew that? Yeah. Fuck me. I didn't know what that. Same with zebras, but I mean, it's the same. Same with old-timey criminals.

I'm going to go. Bye, everybody. Andrew wants to know what are RL's top five albums this year? That is the thing that I am not decided. Diarrhea Planet. Didn't release one, same band from earlier. I really haven't nailed it down yet. I bought like 70 new records this year.

I got to figure it out. Wow. You do like a year-end list, don't mean? I do a top 25, yeah. You don't want to spoil that on here. No. For this bozo? Forget it.

Benning sucks wants to know which dinosaur could best correct the oilers as general manager. I don't entertain these questions because, listen, dinosaurs should be respected. and like I don't like the idea of oh it's like a dinosaur in space that's not where a dinosaur would be so I don't want to think about that wait why couldn't a dinosaur live in space they don't breathe oxygen

Dave I can't do this Jonathan Dunfey wants to know is Sidney Crosby still a vampire or has he evolved at all I guess he's wondering if maybe he's another monster in the dark universe well first of all shout out RIP the dark universe

one and maybe a quarter movie. I think they were trying to have that Dracula, what was that Dracula Untold? Oh, that was part of it? It was supposed to be, like... Yeah, it was your first attempt at trying to launch it. Because Charles Dance was like, showed up at the very end and he's like, the game is a foot or something like that.

And then Symmy for the devil comes on, probably. I don't know. I thought the mummy was the only one. That might not be wrong. Charles Dance. And then he's also the guy in the mummy. But then the mummy did so bad that they're like, we're not going to do any of this. this and they had like 10 movies planned.

I mean like people went to go see the mummy though. Didn't they even though it was bad or no? Well, I mean, I did. I mean, yeah. What's the last movie you haven't seen that you were just like, fuck this? It's too terrible looking. I'm not going to go see it. There had to be one.

Yeah, because for those who don't know, you had the AMC pass. The movie movie? I just got the annual plan where if I gave them like $80 up front, I paid $6 a month all year. Like I'm paid up for the whole year. Like, I'm paid up for the whole year now. So, like, $150 you can see as many movies as you want, pretty much. It's $10 a month now.

It's $10 a month. Ryan Taylor wants to know, F. Mary Kill, Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park, the Lost World, and Jurassic World. The sequels are also bad. Well, no, because... You're just trying to figure out which one to kill. Yeah. Wait. Okay.

DJ, run that one back for me. Lost World. Lost World, the original. F, Harry killed, Jurassic Park. Okay, Jurassic World was the third one. We're going to, I guess. Lost World, Colin Jurassic Park. Sorry, I'm fucking the title.

Apology. Or Jurassic World. Yeah, so I'm going to go 2-1-4. What does that mean? 2-1-4? Jurassic Park 2. You'd F the Lost World? Yeah.

It's got, there's no numbers in here. They don't correlate with anything. In my, like, in my, I don't need, I don't need the numbers in my, like, they're, like, you know what I'm saying. here? Sure. So you would F the lost world. Yeah. You would marry the O.G. And then you'd kill... Oh, you kill the most recent one. Yeah, well, it was

horrendous. Yeah, but the... Lost world. I thought the most recent one was better than that one, but... Wrong. Two more... The trailer scene in the in the lost world, like, where the trailer's hanging off the cliff and the T-R-X is trying to knock it off. Oh, when they bring the broken-legged one back to the...

Yeah. That... Harrowing, babe. harrowing. Yeah, I was surprised that everybody survived. Two more for you. Mike Anton wants to know, what is your favorite Simpson's shit post? What does that mean? Are you not familiar with Simpson's shit posting? No, do I know that? I don't think I do.

Okay, so it, first of all, Mike is probably my best friend in the whole world, and he hates Simpson's shit posting. So anytime he like says, like gives me a bad take or whatever, I just send him one from like the Facebook group

Simpson shit posting. So how does it work? Um, it's like postmodern reinterpretations of like classic moments from the Simpsons with other, like two, three, four references all put together. It's like that that Simpson's thing that generated all the pictures and quotes from the scene, but like the quote or the quote at the bottom is just something completely unrelated. Well, it's not quote. So like, for example, the steamed hams vignette from 22 short films about Springfield has like spawned this insane like kind of offshoot of Simpson shit post where now it's just steamed. ham shit posts and they're very difficult to describe and you have to be like a one billion percent I've seen every episode a thousand times you need to get outside more I don't disagree this is advice that you should be imparting to like 14 year old me I don't regularly watch

the Simpsons anymore but when I was a kid it was on like four times a night and I watched every single one of them is there is there is there friends shit posting because I feel like I you know what I bet there is you just Google friends shit posting and you'll like go to like a It's usually a Facebook group, yeah. Interesting. Yep. I know there's like... You started out with posts, and then they got to shit posts.

I know that there's like, that game Fallout has like its own shit posting genre, because anytime I click on the Simpsons one, it like recommends to me. Oh, you'd also like the follow one. I'm like, that's where you're wrong. Finally, Glenn can make his username 50 characters now. I know you punted on this before, but I think this is a different genre. What dinosaurs are Dave and Greg? Hmm He's thinking about it, folks

That's a good sign Well, let's see here Mm-hmm I think I'm a hippopotamus See, I knew Your rhymes are bottomless Because like I guess it does

I'm like kind of like You know I'm doing my own thing Which one's the one with the club tail Ankylosaur I fancy myself Ankylosaurus Armored tough on the outside

With a club tail And if you get flipped over on your back That's it Then you can eat my soft underbelly Hmm What dinosaur would I want to be? Well, Dave, Dave's a big tall guy. Big gawky tall guy.

That's right. A wingspan? Mm-hmm. Could I be a teradactyl? Not a dinosaur, and you know that. Yeah. This part of the show is all for Gentilly. I understand.

I just want Gentile to laugh and just pull his car off the road while he hears this stuff. That's my favorite genre of tweet, by the way. Guys, I heard a podcast. It was so funny. I almost drove off the road. I love it. Isn't that great? What a great.

compliment. You almost killed me. And definitely another real thing that definitely happened. What percentage of people would you say have really cried when they say I'm crying? Are you trying to say that the people that say they almost spit out there, whatever, while listening to this podcast? You owe me a new

keyboard, Greg, because... Oh my God. It's just, it's the same thing as being like it's my birthday. Can I get a retweet? Like, remember that genre from like four years ago on Twitter? That genre was better than the current one of like, quote, tweet this with the keys you have in your thing.

I don't know why you would want to do that to your mentions. I know. Like that's the real thing. I just don't want people being like, or my Twitter being like, I quoted that, you know, and said,

we need to go. Okay. Are we doing? I think we were cooking. Ryan Lambert, where can people find your genius? The puck daddy blog at yahoo.com. I'm the first and only fuck daddy.

And I'm on Twitter at two-line pass. Do not follow me or talk to me. me in any way. Are you doing other college hockey writing these days? Yeah, so college hockey sometimes at collegehockey news.com, but I don't

know when that's going to start. That's like a relatively new thing. And I think that's about it for my plugs, folks. And before we go, we want everyone to know, Ryan did this entire interview in a Randy Newman T-shirt. I love Randy Newman. And a stylish 90s grunge-style flannel as well.

All right, well, I'm Greg Wasinski, you can find my work at ESPN.com and at Wasinski on Twitter. If you want to listen to my two appearances on Doug Benson's podcast, Doug Love's movies. They were at the Gramercy

Theater this week. Did you guys have a bane-off? We did not. I would have won. What a coward, Doug? I finished. I finished in the top three no spoilers on one night to then come and compete on the next night, which is very exciting. No spoilers. Do you win anything in this? You get like a cash gift? It's bragging right.

That's it. No, the people that listen get the prize. You have to bring stuff to the prize bag, and the person you're playing for wins a prize. Shout up. By the way, this guy, I want to say it was Joe. His name tag for me was my giant face of my giant face. He, like, put together.

I would not have picked that guy. It was a little stockery and weird. He was also wearing a Black Hawk's jersey, so you certainly wouldn't have picked that guy. Yeah, racism is good for that guy. He made a giant one of my face, and I'm like, it's like the first time you get noticed on the street by somebody. Like, someone made a name tag on my face. I'm going to pick it.

So thanks to that guy. So what did you win him? Like a DVD? I can't tell you if I want or not. You almost tricked me in to give him away the what happened to the second show. Oh, I thought it was already out by now. It is, but I don't want to, and I'm not going to give it away if people haven't heard it yet. Oh, no spoilers. Yeah.

So shout out to all that. And thanks to everybody who was sweet in the audience there. And also, we should mention for the Patreon subscribers, I assume you guys have seen it, but the first ever Puck Soup cartoon. It's out. Courtesy of Caddy Polo is on the Patreon. It's the first edition of,

what did you end up calling it? It's Soup 7. Like Ocean's 11. Oh, I get it now. But fewer people because it's just too many things to write. It's a lot of things. It's a lot of things. I liked it a lot.

So that's the kind of bonus content that we'll be making for you people that are nice enough to subscribe, you people. We still over the bowl. We still over the bowl. We do. Dave, any plus? No, I want to get going. All right.

Thanks to Kevin for doing the show. Thanks, Kevin. Thanks to Ryan Lambert for sitting in studio the entire time. Thanks, boys. And we'll talk to you next week. Bringing us so much joy. Definitely. Blu-blu-blu.

Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows. It's your weekly bowl of hockey and night since. Park suit.