Puck Soup - Santa Jagr

Episode Date: December 22, 2016

Greg and Dave get into the Christmas spirit while discussing Jaromir Jagr's amazing career achievements and off-ice infamy; the lack of buzz for NHL outdoor games; a new survey on how hockey fans watch games; the Columbus Blue Jackets fans that hate Greg and Dave; the ultimate debate over whether DIE HARD is a Christmas movie or a movie with Christmas in it; the top 8 worst Christmas songs of all-time; how we found out the truth about Santa as kids; and a listener mail segment that includes some very awkward threesome talk about the brothers Sedin, Staal and Benn.

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by Seat Geek. It's the holiday season. Maybe you forgot someone you love and you forgot to get them a gift. There's only one thing you can do to make up for your last-minute shopping and absent-mindedness, which is to make them feel better with tickets to a game or a concert. And the only place to get tickets to a game or a concert is on Seat Geek. They do all the price comparison for you by searching multiple ticket sites and ensuring that you get the best possible deal.

Seat Geek does all the work. You save time and you save money and you save face with the people that you forgot about the holiday season. And guess what? You can get $20 off your first Seat Geek ticket purchase. What you do, you download the free Seat Geek app to your mobile device. You go to the settings tab. You add click a promo code. Enter the promo code, S-O-U-P, the very letters that are found in the name of this podcast.

S-O-P-S-U-P-S-P-S-P-S-S-Pel Soup. seek equal send you $20 after you've made your first ticket purchase. So, download the app, settings tab, add a promo code, enter the promo code SOUP, and Seekekykeek sends you $20 after your first ticket purchase. So there you go, Mr. Waits at the last minute, try to get a gift of the local CVS or Dwayne Reed and then find out that there's nothing left except for hair clips

and bottles a snapple. Now you've got a way to make it up to your loved ones. Download the Seek geek app today and enjoy the show. Now enteringnerdist.com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tunes.

It's your weekly bowl of Hockey and Nancet. I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy Blog. And I'm Dave Loz. Now here's a pop quiz. Pop quiz hot shot. There's an outdoor game being played in Toronto, Canada. Uh-huh. On January 1st, at one...

I'm sorry, on January 1st, 2017. Uh-huh. Okay. Who are the teams playing in that game? Outdoor game in Toronto. I'm going to say Blackhawks Flyers. Blackhawks, Penguins. Flyers...

No, it's in Toronto. No, that's the key. Like, it's sort of a reading comprehension thing. Oh, like, there's like a clue in the question. Yeah, there's a clue in the question. Blackhawks, Red Wings. Close. It's the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Detroit Red Wings.

Now, who's playing in the winter classic? Blackhawks, Blackhawks. Blackhawks. Blackhawks. It's right. Blackhawks Intrasquod game. It's a Blackhawks against the Ice Hox. It's a Blackhawks against the Blackhawks alumni. Mark Lazar. did a poll where he said,

how interested are you as a Blackhawks fans? Twitter. So, of course, non-Blackhawks fans responded, but it was like, how pumped are you for the Blackhawks playing another outdoor game? And it was like 48% pumped, 52% tired of it. Like, that's how sick and tired of Blackhawks fans are.

And, you know, listen, I don't know what it is about this year. I feel like there's overall fatigue for everything this year. I'm tired of everything. But, like, palpable non-buzz for these games. Now, this could just be the continuing

shift of excitement for the outdoor games locally. Like there wasn't really much buzzed to the Washington Chicago outdoor game. I remember that, I remember thinking that was bullshit, but then it was the lowest rated game of all the Winter Classics, so maybe there was something to it. Yeah, but when you were there and you saw everybody at the stadium and they were all partying, whatever, like. When you're there, it's great. Yeah, so it's very much now the localization of these outdoor games. I'm sure in Toronto, like, this is a big

fucking deal to have this game on January 1st, which by the way, in the unending marketing savvy of the National Hockey League it is referred to as the first ever NHL Centennial Classic which by my estimation

is also the last ever NHL Centennial Classic for there's only one centennial and you know someone at the NHL got a fucking raise because of that idea too they brought it up in the board room and they were like genius Kevin great work you're going to be a new VP of marketing You're the first ever Kevin who's the VP of marketing.

Oh, God. The Red Wings and Maple Leafs previously played in the 2014 Bridgestone. It's not even the first Red Wings Leaves outdoor game ever. Yeah, and now we're getting reruns. Well, we're getting another, well, no, this is the first Penguins Flyers outdoor game this year, so that's not a rerun. But they're playing it in a place we've already played it. They're playing in a place you already played it. Yeah, that's, yeah, what the fuck?

I just realized that. It's not like they don't have another stadium there. I don't know. I'm assuming there is some sort of reason why they couldn't do it at Penn State. Yeah, it's called capacity for, oh, no, Penn State. Oh, yeah. No, Penn State's always had this issue of, like, I think it's like beer, like, alcohol sales was an issue at any NCAA venue. Yeah, because if like you sell beer.

Did we say them in TWA? Always check that in say NDACP. It's like the worst. There's a combination there. Yeah. No, I get it because you don't want to have, like, you don't want to sell beer and like have a bunch of fans do something to make Penn State look bad because if Penn State ever ends. ended up looking bad after a sporting event or something like that, that would really hurt their reputation.

Yeah, you'd really hate for them to take down the Kevin Steven statue on the campus of Penn State. Because someone did something bad on the Penguins game. Because of the abuse of drugs. I always thought that that's Penn State, Lambeau Field, Notre Dame are the three places that I want to see a game taken there. Yeah, we're basically out of like spots at this point. Well, fuck, they're talking about West Point for the Rangers next year. What does that place hold?

I don't know. Like 30K? It'd be safe. I'd tell you that much. I don't know. I can go to Bear Mountain and watch the game. I don't think it's safe because I've seen Rutgers go in there and win. I don't know how good they are defending that place.

I guess we should also talk about that on the show this week. What? The Army? A national hockey league owner is now going to be a member of the Trump cabinet. I can't tell the difference between the onion and anything else anymore. Like everyone makes jokes about fake news. I saw that and I'm like, this is a big. bit, right? Like, this isn't real.

The great thing, the most amazing thing about Vinnie Viola becoming the Secretary of the Army is that the original question was, well, shit, like, what is he going to do with his ownership stake in the Panthers? And then the answer was, he's going to have his, he's going to give it to his kids. And I'm like, oh, of course the guy in the Trump administration is going to overcome any conflicts of interest or anything like that by quote, air quote, my air quote, my air quotes are like the flapping wings of a giant eagle. Lozo's hat just flew off. Oh my God. He's going to not

have any interest in running the team while his secretary of the army. We're all going to die. I don't get, what does the secretary of the army do? Is it like, is he like a sonographer? He goes into meetings. He takes notes of the joint chief staff meetings. Could you dictate this for me, Mr. Viola? Sure, go ahead. Go ahead, General. He just like types away.

Well, I imagine if you're hiring Vinny Viola that the secretary of the army is someone. who steps in about a quarter of the way into the war and then fires somebody if he doesn't like them on a basic level. I don't like this whole military hierarchy we have here where this guy gives this guy orders below him. Let's have like a group think tank and then push this general away,

but then bring him back in when we lose a bunch of wars. Or better yet, I'm going to push this general away. And then you there. Have you ever been a general? No, sorry, I've only been a lieutenant. Guess what? You're a general now. What's your background? Well, I invented Calcutta.

For the Army. You're a math nerd. You bet you, sir. Four months later. You there. General, would you like to become a lieutenant again? We're the need for a lieutenant again. And I understand that you're pretty qualified.

The odds of this working, the odds of us advancing on their Western Front are only 42%. So I feel as though we should not do that. The thing that I'll always cherish about Vinnie Viola, is that... Forget about it. When everybody sends former players, assistant general managers, whoever to the draft lottery to be their proxy, he sent his dopey, shaggy-haired son. Oh, dad, can I go over there and sit in the draft or what, huh? Oh, what do you think you are over here, me? And then they won it.

And then they want it. And then Daly's like presenting the lottery placard to, what your name again? Hey, it's Vinnie Viola Jr. Over here. What's up? Aaron Neckblad, you're coming down south, kid. He's pulling up his shirt and showing his abs. Yo.

Any words do you want to give to the Panthers fans? Yo, fist pumped to my boys down in top beach. Shout out to my boy who bought my bronzer today. Yo, I look good on TSN. Anyone you want to thank for this momentous moment for the franchise? Yo, I want to thank. Gooch, sweaty, biggie, smally, Vinny T, Vinny S, Vinny R, Vinny B, Vini D, Vinny H. And of course, and Joe.

And Joe. Oh, my God. What happened to that kid, though? Like, I always assume that because of the inherent nepotism of the, of the Panthers management, and by nepotism, I'm not just meaning blood relative, but I mean, like, anybody who tangentially related to the army. is a part of that. Like, Sergeant Slaughter, I'm pretty sure.

This isn't GM. That would make more sense if they tab Sergeant Slaughter to be the Secretary of the Army. At least he's been pretending to be in the Army for like three decades. He probably knows terminology. Secretary Slaughter, wondering your thoughts on Aleppo and how to handle the refugee crisis? I think it's pretty simple. You put him in a camel clutch. The what?

Sorry, the cobra clutch. I'm going to turn it over to my press secretary, Hacksaw, Jim Duggan. He loved America, that guy. This is where I bring up, as I bought up many times before in the show, that, like, that was when the curtain was pulled back on me for wrestling, was when Hacksaw, Jim Duggan and the Iron Sheik were picked up for having pot. I think it was weed in their car in the Jersey Turnpike. They both got arrested and I'm like, Daddy, why, why would Haxaw Jim Duggan, Defender of America, the inner car with drugs and also the Iron Sheik? well son you're about ready for me to tell you about this sometimes a man in a manner

pretending to hate each other for the purpose of ratings and entertainment no so he's not really the ultimate warrior then well if he is in your heart son that's all that really matters oh god I didn't see me to go like that why where'd you think I was going with that

it's funny like I remember being at a bus stop in elementary school because I was a latchkey kid and we were having moms and dads if kids are in the car you may want to turn down the volume for just a second oh no

we had a discussion about a certain someone not being real and by this time we were old enough Hulk Hogan you mean it was December wink wink it was around Christmas time

the peach bowl and we were all like talking about how we all figured out that this certain someone wasn't real your grandparents and I remember my friend Kevin Coser Kevin Cozer no relation to Joey

spelled the same way it might have been so it kind of looks at us like with these little like teary eyes but he was the first one to find out and he and he now he was like the last one to find out And he kind of looks at us

And he goes Guys, I don't know But like all I know is that like That's certain someone's always gonna live on in my heart Like literally what you just said And the amazing thing about it was that It occurred to me years later that we We may have just

We've blown the gig for him Like by having that conversation in front of him Like we were around the age where you should know But he He maybe didn't Like 16? 17? A little bit younger than that

14? I'm a little bit younger than that. How old were you, how old were you, how old were you, how old that was? I remember because, like, I lived in an apartment. It was like a house, but it was like a first floor part of the house. And, like, I realized the chimney didn't connect to the house. And I was like, what is up with this bullshit? How does he get in?

My parents were like, we leave the door open. We're not living the door open at one in the morning around here. I know what's going on. They were like, well, I'll tell you exactly how I found out. I've never told this story before. And luckily, I don't think my dad listens to this podcast. He listens the other one. Does he?

Yeah. What the hell, Mr. Wish? He might listen to this one. So we lived in an older house. I think it was built in like the 1920s in Madawan. And it had a basement, which my dad eventually did the noble thing and put wood paneling all over it, which was... You have to. It's a classic.

Makes it cozy. And it had a sort of a room off the basement. That's where the washing machines were and the work benches were and where, you know, adults did adult things. occasionally. You mean, you mean sex? No, I don't mean sex. You mean kissing? I mean kissing. Sex and kissing?

I mean, maybe it's legal in Colorado now. So, the... Anal. That's awesome. Good for them. Inside that room, this is becoming like a nesting doll. Inside that room was what is called a cold room. Now, the cold room in these old houses used to be, I imagine, where you would put, like, I don't know, like meat or whatever.

whatever like shit you want to keep cold I guess how big is this it's like the size of a large pantry okay and my parents used it as a storage room for like my old toys they had old like National Geographic's in there my dad had like his old

some of his old albums in there Playboys playboys no there was no playboys in that room but National Geographic could get you by if you're 10 years old and it's a free internet so So, it was around Christmas time one year, and I forget how old that was. I want to say it was maybe like before.

22. No, I was like, maybe 9 or 10, somewhere around that. Maybe earlier than that, I don't know. Oh, I know where this is going now. I open the room. And I'm looking for like, I don't know, like an old Star Wars story or whatever, like a ad ad or something. Of course. And there's a big garbage bag, and I open up the garbage bag, and I see all these perfectly

wrapped presents. and then like a week later same presents under the tree Oh you didn't even like confront them right then and there No no no no no I would have got upstairs with a bag with my tears in my eyes Same presence under the tree Gift tags would say like to Greg from Santa

I'm like oh There it is My parents are conspiring with Santa A garbage bag of lies That's what you found out there is a garbage bag of lies But I think I think I still went along with it Maybe for like one more Christmas For them

Yeah for them Right, exactly For them You're just like playing it off In like November You better be good Because Santa's not gonna get you anything Okay dad, sure

Whatever you say But it was the first moment When I realized that maybe I'm Maybe I was smarter than them In some ways And like Yeah

Because you're growing up You assume that your parents Have all their shit together Right And like when that happens And you're like Oh the gig is up I found this out on my own

What was worse Wrestling or Santa Um Oof Probably wrestling Wow And you still watch it today Now that I know

Knowing what you know Soap opera Well you Like when you found out Were you devastated as a kid Because it sounds like you were By saying you would have taken the bag And started crying to your parents about it

Like a little baby Well I mean if I was like 19 And I was still emotionally developing I probably would have had a real freak out I don't remember like I think it was the same sort of feeling where I felt like I had figured something out. And I was like, yeah, I figured this out on my own.

It wasn't really about deception or anything or being like, you know, lied to. I don't know where my daughter is on it. She's six. And when we see a Santa, she, like, I'll say, hey, look, like, we went to the Radio City show the other day for the Christmas spectacular

with the Rockettes and stuff and the overt Christian themes towards the end in which they actually recreate the manger. and have live camels on the stage. Really? Yeah, really. Like, the whole thing is like, it's me, Santa,

Materialism, New York at Christmas time, Macy's. Go to Saks Fifth Avenue. And then by the end of the show, it's like, and so the child laid his head down on the manger. It's like, where did this come from this proselytizing show? What does it smell like in there

when the camel goes on the stage? Oh, no, I was in the mezzanine. So tickets are expensive. So I say to her, I'm like, I'm like, look, Vivian, it's Santa. And she's like, Daddy. Yeah. That's not the real Santa.

You idiot. She's like, it's one of his helpers. And this would be an issue for me, where it not for the fact that occasionally we'll be out and about during Santa Con. And I'm really, really happy she knows that the dude vomiting in our trash can outside the apartment in no way is that the real Santa Claus. Daddy, that's not even a helper. He got fired for drinking on the job. Daddy, what's Santa doing to that girl? Oh, my God.

Dude, Hoboken Santa Con was this past weekend and there's the police chief has a Twitter account and he tweets out all of the incidents that happened during the course of it. And there was like one where it was like Santa Claus was throwing snowballs at two people. One of them was a city cleric. The party was broken up.

The best one was, it was like four o'clock. So by that point, people have been drinking for like eight hours. A cop stopped to Santa and said, can I see some ID? And instead of giving the ID, the Santa ran away. And so, and it says the sand. It's a tweet. It's 140 characters.

It's the greatest 140 character story ever told. It says like, you know, P period, O period, asked for ID, Santa fled. Santa was eventually detained after a three-block chase. Three blocks the guy got in a Santa suit. And I'm wondering, too, because Hoboken is, if the chase was like down into Hoboken, where it went from like Washington to Bloomfield to Clinton, the Willow,

they're short blocks. I can see that being a quick. But if they went from like first to second to third to fourth, that's like a 70-second chase. Now, I don't know if this cop was wearing one of those cameras on his chest. I'm freedom of the information acting in that video. I need to see him. You know Santa's pants fell down.

Oh, my God, you know they did. That's how they detained him. They didn't, like, catch him. Like, his pants fell around his knees. And I wanted to know how he got away, too. Was he like, sir, can I see some ID? And he, like, pats on his chest. Oh, I'm Santa.

I don't know what my ID is. And then he, like, he, like, turned and he just, like, ran really quickly. and the poor guy had to chase him and it was a snowy day too I don't see that I left my ID in the sleigh why would I have it on me I'm not in the sleigh I can drink if I want

I'm not I'm not flying yeah this is like one of the most famous people in the world me the Pope president Lindsay Lohan you don't ask them for IDs

I mean look around do you see any other okay I guess you do but the point is is that I'm him I'm the guy I'm the guy There's another arrest where it's at a couple Got a ticket for peeing in public I don't know if it was like a couple of Santas

Or like a guy and a girl like just walking home And they're like I gotta pee Me too And they just drop trow and just pee In the middle of the street I'm not trying to make New York out to be a cesspool of urine But there's definitely been times When I've come home to my apartment

And it's like my apartment's on like a side street It's not like any near any It's not like next to a bar or anything And I'll just I'll be walking in There'll be a dude pissing on the side of the building Yeah, and you'll just look at him and he'll look at you. You just know. You're like, good night.

You just know. Hey, you get it. Good job on you. Find it a place to take your dick out where a cop's not going to see it. You're like, I know you got 11 blocks and it's really backed up and you got to go. I get it. You sound like a man who might have peed out a building or two in your time. I peed on the spectrum at a fish concert in the spectrum.

Bathroom line was so long and there was like a little closet that opened into like the janitor stuff, I guess. And I was just like, I don't know, I'll dig out and piss right in it. Yeah. Well, I mean, you call it people. being on a building, but at the spectrum, they called it refurbishing. So I think totally different. All right, so here's the thing about the outdoor games. This is better than our Allen Thick segment from last week.

Oh, when we transitioned from a song, Christian rock songs. Christian rock parodies to the death of Al-Ampa. Sad news to report. As much fatigue as there is, there's always going to be a little bit something different about these games for somebody. So, for example, right, this is St. Louis's first outdoor game, inexplicably, because when you think of places where you might stick a game, you'd think about the Midwest where there's snow and shit. Where it's cold. Where it's cold in January.

Yeah. And where you have natural rivalries against the Blackhawks and the Red Wings and the whole thing. And, like, it'd be a really good spot to have a game. And finally, they're having it there. So you get to have the experience of, like, those players talking about, oh, Alex Petrangelo, what was it like? Grown up as a boy. I'm playing on the pond. Oh, lassie.

It was a great experience. So, like, you have that. And then, like, for Toronto, like, these kids are fun. Like, Marner and Matthews and Nielander are pretty fun. And, like, to see them experience it and get to do the whole thing and put on the gear and what have you is going to be fun.

So there's still a scintilla of excitement to these games, even though the building your day around watching them probably isn't the thing that happens. anymore. Like, God, like, dude, you think about the last time these two teams played in 2014, the idea of holding this thing in Ann Arbor was fucking awesome. Yeah. Like, it was like the thing you're like, oh, this is going to be like 105,000 fans all coming together, freezing their asses off, drinking spiked hot chocolate.

Yeah. Yeah, it was super fun. And now you're like, oh, they're holding this thing in a nondescript soccer stadium, an MLS stadium. Yeah. I'm worried about the Pittsburgh Philly game because it's at the end of February. and I think it's a night game. Like, I feel like the ice is going to be so frozen.

It's not going to be playable. Like, Toronto, it should be fine. Right. Are those games going to be on NBC? I think every outdoor game is, well, let me take that back because you're asking about NBC. Because the Winnipeg one wasn't on TV here, was it? Winnipeg Edmonton one?

No, that was on H.L network. So it wasn't on TV here. Oh, speaking of which, speaking of TV, so we've been doing these polls on Puck Daddy with regard to where people watch games and you took a it's a fan poll about a lot of things but today's edition as we tape the show was where or how do you watch NHL games and you were marveling at the fact that six percent six percent of the respondents said they don't know how they watched their games they don't know I was saying I was saying our boy Tim Hines out in the uh in the bullpen there in the

yahoo offices like it's almost like they felt as though a cop was asking them hey is that marijuana Yeah, where'd you get it? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I assume that's like illegal streams. They don't know how to like maybe convey that they're watching it through that? We had 6% saying another way and 6% saying I don't know. So that's 12% that are probably like, I watch it on illegal streams or I have my buddies sent our ice code.

But like don't know. It's such a, it's so weird how like that that answer was tied with a couple of other ones too, was it? There was a couple others that were six. So briefly, in person at the arena, 9% live on cable TV, 56% streaming through an internet device connected to your TV like Firestick or Roku. Roku, by the way, is great.

We just got one. 12%. Streaming through an app on your mobile device, 5%. Viewing highlights posted to social media 7%, which, by the way, was interesting because we do another thing where we do it by region, and

12% of people in the Northeast, and 12% of people on the West Coast say they watch games through highlights on social media. So basically what that means is... But you're not watching a game, though. But that's how they, that's the primary way that they watch an NHL game. It's just watching the highlights, which means that it's the people in the Northeast who wake up the next day and watch the highlights of the West Coast games.

And the people with the West Coast that are still at work, and they're watching the East Coast games, like, through gifts on Twitter. Is that what it is? Yeah, that's totally what it is. But the reason we asked this question, because the whole survey was sort of geared towards trying to figure out how millennials are consuming the NHL and what they think of the NHL these days. I was really surprised that 56% of respondents are still using cable TV and only 12% are streaming. Well, it's actually 70. If it's, if it's 56 on TV and the other 12 or whatever are using a device that connect through their TV. Connect to a TV.

Yeah, no, well, I meant like streaming through like an Apple TV or whatever. Oh, yeah. You know, but like, no, actually using your, what's time of water now? I forget. Spectrum. Your spectrum cable. Is that what it is? I don't know.

Your spectrum cable, your local cable stations, whatever, NHL network, NBCSN, 56% of all respondents said they do that. And demographically, 18 to 34 is 45% of them are watching it on cable and 15% on like a 5, like a Roku and then 7% streaming. But I feel like it's probably still probably around 60% they get it through cable. So like with all the talk of like millennials and court cutting. Packaging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's still pretty, everyone's still pretty much watching TV. TV's not going anywhere just yet.

The other interesting thing that we did with the survey was, uh, which, typically which if any of the following Stanley Cup playoff rounds do you watch if they do not include your favorite team and tell us, select all that apply. 50% of our respondents said that they watched the Stanley Cup final. 27% of all respondents said they watched the opening round.

22% of all respondents said they don't watch any playoff games that their favorite team is not involved. That's a fucking horrible number for the NHL. Like, I'm a Giants fan, and the Giants haven't made the playoffs in three years. I still watch the playoffs. In MLB, like, a ridiculous number of teams, by comparison to the NHL don't make the playoffs. But I'm probably watching the NLCS and I'm probably watching the World Series. Sure. But the idea that, like, you don't watch any, the word is any, you don't watch any playoff games if your team's unenvolved.

You know what else I think it is too? I don't know. I have to see the NBA's numbers. but like the NHL playoffs are two months. Football's a month. Baseball's a month. Like you have to commit to two months of watching playoffs that don't involve your team.

And in football, you're watching four games. Well, four games. I guess if you're watching them all, you're watching whatever it is, like 10, 15 games. Hockey,

like, it's an endless four-round seven-game series slog as a word. Somebody might use to describe a Star Wars movie. Slog. But yeah, like I totally get it. Because it's a long season.

You're exhausted at the end of it. You don't really want to, like, say, you're Boston Bruins fan and you're in it until game 81 and game 82 it's like you guess what you're not going to the playoffs. You're a Flyers fan and you're Oliokin and yeah you got a wait no that was the Rangers he

fucked up in the shootout totally yeah like like in football like if your team's bad you pretty much have like two or three weeks to kind of go through the grieving process get comfortable again and then you can watch Patriots Ravens on Saturday at 1 o'clock when the playoffs start like in hockey I don't think it's the same thing I think the other thing too is that it being

a seven game series like you said it's it's a it's a length problem not a problem. I don't know what that possibly can mean for in the sense that in the NFL you're just watching

a game. Right. I mean, you don't have to commit to watching a series. Easier to bet on to that comes into it. A football game

is going to be pretty entertaining no matter what. There's not a lot of blowouts I don't think in the playoffs necessarily. Yeah. The teams that are there belong there.

It's going to be tightly played. In the NHL, you might see some bad hockey in the early rounds. Like that Flyers cap series last year was just unfucking watchable. It was just this slog

of defense that was just for six games fucking Michael Neuvert Interesting Interesting here though On the How do you How much of the Stanley Cup playoffs

Do you watch We also split up the respondents Into very interested And somewhat interested Which means die hard fans Casual fans basically 13% of diehard fans Only they're only 13%

Said they don't watch any playoff games That their favorite team isn't involved 26% So double it of casual fans say they don't watch if their favorite team's not involved and 100%

of the diehard fans know it's a Christmas movie because it is sleep tuned for that too but okay but here's the other thing I want to tell you go ahead

50% of diehard fans um just want to come out to the coast and get together a few last no sorry go ahead do your thing 50% of die hard fans

dislike the character Ellis because he's obviously coked up in a bit of a turn coat 50% of die hard fans Hard fans will watch the conference final. 52% of Do Hard fans will watch the Stanley Cup final. 28% of casual fans say they watch the conference final. And 48% said the Cup final.

So basically what you have here is this. When it comes to the Cup final, good job, NHL. You've convinced people that it's an important playoff thing and people should make time to watch it. And it's like nothing else in sports. But you've got to work a little harder to get them to watch the final for. Yeah. I get that feeling too from people.

Like, it's so tough because, like, you work in it. And, like, by the time the conference final rolls around, I'm kind of burnt on the playoffs as, like, a writer and watcher and content creator of hockey. I don't know. Like, if you're not a fan of a team that's in the playoffs at that point, I can see why, like, let's say you're a, okay, let's say there's two teams left in the East and you're a fan of one of the other six. Like, you've just had your heart ripped out either a week ago or three weeks ago. You want hockey to go away. Yeah. You don't want to watch anymore.

It feels too painful. Right. And there's the other problem, too, which we always come back to, is how they market the league. And if you market the league in this way where it's all about your team and how great your team is. And there's never like a reason to get into the other. Like, again, football. Like I fucking, if Tom Brady fell down a flight of stairs tomorrow, I wouldn't care. But I want to watch him play.

Like maybe like that good looking back of quarterback pushes him. And then he goes down the. Elizabeth Berkeley. Grofalo pushes him. Garofalo. Yeah, the backup quarterback in a Gropolo. Gropolo is the company of my dad worked for it. Janine Girofalo is in showgirls.

I'm like, wait. Gene Girofalo pushes Tom right down the stairs. She's like, this is for Trump. Right. Like I would, like, I just, it doesn't, like, I just will never ever, like, hockey is just this thing where people don't give a shit about, like, all right, Columbus Blue Jackets fans hate us because we keep saying. saying they're bad, even though they're like 24 and 3 at this point, right? Lambert gets the same shit. Anyone who's ever pointed out

how Columbus is not as good as their record and they're not going to be good anymore, blah, blah, blah. Those fans have existed in the time of Calgary and Anaheim and Toronto and Vancouver and all these teams that were bad teams that had good seasons. And I'm sure they kind of heard echoes of it in the background while they were loving the blue jackets, but now

the blue jackets are that team. And they don't accept that. Here's the thing. Yes. as a sports fan. Love the Giants. Yes. Keep coming back to the Giants. When they were 8 and 3.

The New York Football Giants. The New York football, not San Francisco, even your giants. The football giants led by Eli Manning, the greatest quarterback of all time. When they were 8 and 3, they had just beaten the bears and the browns. Wow. Give them the fucking trophy for that. Super duper unconvincing fashion. And everyone in like power rankings that Monday or Tuesday was like, oh, we're the worst eight and three team of all time.

And I read that. And I'm like, you know, yeah, I think that kind of. make sense. I don't go on Twitter and start finding people that wrote power rankings actually the defense is super good bro. Maybe you're just to watch the games. Hockey fans defend their own territory so hard that they don't care about the

other territories. But it's usually because when teams are in that situation, they're not the giants. Like the giant you've got a lot of history to rest on. You've got a quarterback with a ring. Two. Two. Both against the Patriots, by the way.

I'm just going to bang my head against the desk. MVP's too. You got all that going for you. Like Columbus is, I said this in the piece this week. Like, I relate to the Columbus Blue Jackets fans being so defensive because I'm a devil's fan. And I had people tell me for years, your team shouldn't exist. Your team is garbage. Your team's not good.

Your team's doing, your team cheats. Your team's this. Wait, they cheat? Oh, the trap. Yeah. So, like, I get all that. So I get the idea of being super defensive about it. But here's my, I've been thinking a lot about it.

Obviously, I don't like Tortorella. I'm honest about that. If you want to say that that's a bias against your team and it's nonsensical, so be it. I mean, it happens in sports where there's somebody on the team you don't like, and it's going to color how you feel about the team. I'm sure the Patriots should be lauded for being a well-oiled machine, but fuck Tom Brady. So the thing about Columbus now that's bothering me is that the people that are so defensive about the team are hurting my ability to enjoy what's happening for that team.

a team that in the past, if you remember my whole Lumbus thing, I kind of remember that. I love him. I want them to be good. I want them to succeed. I want them to go on a playoff run that ensnars casual fans around Columbus that are like college age. You build a fan base. You have the genesis effect that you had in Washington where all of a sudden

a team becomes successful and scores of new fans discover it and you have the genesis effect. Is that where Phil Collins showed up and he played the song from the It's when Phil Collins was shot into a dead planet and it revived the planet And then he screamed out In the living years

That was the other guy from Genesis Yeah Phil Collins is shot in a torpedo He hits a dead planet The dead planet gets repopulated And all you hear is I can feel it growing in the air tonight Oveccon Wow

Yes So the other thing that's bothering me is this I'm going to talk to my friends in Blue Jack Nation for a second. I'm going to take my headphones off. Listen, I'll listen to this. You guys need to hear this for a second. We're all friends.

We don't have to put on airs. Okay. You were just as skeptical about Tortorella. I know. You all were just like, wrong coach, wrong time. How's that, how's angry man going to be the guy who leads the rebuild? And you all were like, we'll trade Ryan Johansson for Seth Jones and then get Austin Matt, fuck, we didn't get Austin Matthews.

And now the whole plan's down the tubes. None of you thought this was going to happen. Stop it. Don't, you don't have a right to stand on your soapbox and bemoan someone like me or Lozo or Lambert or anybody else who said they were going to finish last the division or whatever when you yourselves were skeptical about it. You were just as wrong as we are. It's just that because your fans, you bought, you drank the Kool-Aid,

quicker than we did. So when the Corsi was like terrible and your power play was at like 35% we all said the thing that was logical at the time. This can't sustain itself. Now the difference is that we didn't think the possession numbers would get as good

as they are and they're pretty good and we didn't think that the power play was going to still be clicking at 27% in December and it is. So there's a certain amount of admitting we're wrong but ultimately we were all in agreement coming into this season that it was going to be a shit year. And I'm tired of Blue Jackets fans,

pushing that aside and making pretend that they were all in the whole time. You were just as skeptical about this team as we were. It's just that you accepted the idea that maybe they were really good before any of us were, mainly because we hate your coach. Okay, counterpoint.

Oh, yes, please. Issue two, counterpoint. Issue number four. Fans of NHL teams, don't look at things objectively. Going into the year, this is what I'm saying, with the whole poll numbers and the results

is they believe so deeply in their team. They're just like, I don't know, we got Brandon Saad, he's going to be really good. Nick Felino's going to have a bounce back here. I've heard great things about this Werensky kid. Yeah, sure you did. So they all, so like, there, I think there are like a large portion of them that really,

every, every fan base goes into the year and says, we're going to be awesome. You're saying the natural rebirth of optimism that occurs for not only hockey fans, but many sports fans. I say that as a Jets fan each year. Yeah. that leads you to believe that maybe there was a section of the fan base that did believe that they were going to be good.

I think so. I think that's every fan base. Like, they're a Vancouver fans. A dude on Twitter after they won their first four fucking games and three of them were in overtime, Adamian was like, uh, bro, check the standings. Who's got the best record in the NHL? Still think they're going to finish last? And I'm like, yeah. It's been four games, man.

But even those optimists were saying after last season, and especially after the World Cup, disaster. Oh, for sure. That Tororella was the wrong coach for the team. And here's the credit I'll give him. They are playing the type of hockey that they played in New York when things worked well. They're limiting high danger chances in front of Bobrowski, who's playing as well as Lundquist used to, the back of that defense.

And inexplicably squeezing a lot of offense out of these forwards that are you great sandpaper guys. Cam Atkinson's on pace for like 90 points. Sam Gagne, you know, had like three goals. I honestly I can't believe Sam Kanye's still in the league but the other thing too is like all right they played what 30 hold on I'm getting the standings up here so we can so credit where it's due man like he he gave him some spine they they adopted this

sort of underdog aesthetic they have a goaltender that obviously allows them to play a certain style because he's got the back end covered see also Minnesota but like I just I I think here's the thing too is Columbus has 46 points and because of the stupid way the standings of the things are. Their next closest team, or the team that's closest to knocking them out of the playoffs is Carolina at 33.

So they would have to crap away 13 points in 49 games. It doesn't matter how bad they are the rest of the way. They're going to be a playoff team, and you're going to hear about it then, too. Remember when you picked us to finish 30th? Well, we're the three seed and the blah, blah, blah, blah. And the blah, blah, blah. So right now, our only hope is that Guy Bouchet went to Jack Adams, because otherwise it's going to be torts.

It's true. It's going to be torts. There's got to be somebody better. John Tortorella. Bruce Brudreau. Well, I mean, no, but that's just that. I mean, when your goal is got a 945 save percentage,

you're probably not going to win the Jack. Although, I mean, you might. You won't win Jack. The new segment on Puck. You're not going to win Jack, starring. Willie Desardin, Dan, Jared Bedner, you ain't going to win Jack. Yeah, there's really not a lot of good,

it's going to be Toritz, is it? Yeah, it's probably going to be Torrance. I'm looking through here. So again, my message to all of you broadcasters out there in the podcast audience, give Ghibusha a look. Good, good dude. All we are saying. All we are saying.

Is Gibusha a chance? Give Gia a chance. Yeah, that's better. You know, now that you're singing these songs, it makes me think about the time of year where we are. Christmas time. Simply. And I've been thinking a lot about Christmas music lately. Have you?

And I've been thinking about the Christmas music that I despise. You know what? You know what we should do is right now, top of our heads, come up with the worst Christmas songs that we consider to be the worst Christmas songs. Maybe like four? I mean, it's weird. Like, I was thinking about this on the way into the studio, and I just so happened to luckily have a few examples of these terrible Christmas songs

queued up on YouTube. Oh, you cute them up on YouTube. I cute them up on my fun. on the list. All right. I have one that I'm going to use right away.

That's not part of my list though because I want them to actually be Christmas songs that we all know love. This is like a honorable mention. Right. So like I, so this morning I googled

worst Christmas songs and like the ones that come up are like Billy Ray Cyrus's Honky Town Christmas or something like that. Like I'm not counting those in the list. There's a Bon Jovi song and I didn't click on it. I didn't listen to it because I'm afraid to do it.

It's called backdoor Santa. And I don't know what it's about. But I'm assuming that Santa got real lucky with Mrs. Claus one night and wrote a song about it. Santa used to work on the docks. Rainier bin on strike. Halfway there.

Oh, Mrs. Claus went there. Take my junk and we'll put it in there. Back door, Santa in midair. Back door, Santa. Whoa. Whoa. So yeah, there's a song called Backdoor Santa.

Go look that up. See what it's about. The first one for me, we'll just knock this out, and I'm sure it's on your list too. This giant festering piece of garbage. Okay. Oh, yeah. I don't like that song, but I kind of do.

I hate the song so much. Like, I totally see the case for hating it though. It sounds like the music from Terminator being played by the happiest person in the world. And I hate that. Oh, just shut up. Here's the other thing I hate about Paul McCartney's wonderful Christmas time is that it is the Paul McCartney that I hate the most, which is the goofy, fun, wacky uncle, now grandpa. I like the Paul McCartney. Who sang about having sex with 17-year-old girls called She Was Just 17.

You know what I mean? But even then, I know Paul. But even then, like, he was the sort of, like, fuzzier counterpoint to sharp John. You know, like, the Lennon McCarthy aesthetic is one of my favorite things. I know he's always been kind of a goofball. But, like, I hate, I hate his face. I hate his face when he's on S&L.

And he's got wrinkly grandma face now. And he's just always got that goofy smile and says, hey, look at me. I've come out on the sketch and I'm playing the bells in the background. It's me, Paul McCartney. Dude, if I was a fucking beetle and I was still alive today, I'd have that look on my face every fucking minute of every day

because I would be Paul McCartney. I'd be a billionaire. I heard a story when I was in Hawaii. It was probably a famous story for a lot of people. I didn't know it. George Harrison lived on Maui. And he lived in sort of an

unpopulated part of Maui. And he had like a mansion there. Ooh. That was loud. The cupcakes are done, folks. We'll be right back after this. And so he, he was out of town and like where he lived was sort of a secret but like an obsessed fan found his house

was like in the woods or something and she moved into it while he was gone yeah and she like did laundry and was like ordering pizzas while living in his house how long was she there for she was there for like two weeks no kidding and like he eventually like found out I guess somehow and then like called the cops and they took her away but like a obsessed female fan moved into it. George Harrison's Hawaii home. She's like on the front porch waving at neighbors. Hey, is that Mr. Harrison around? Oh, no, no.

Just give me the pizza. Dude. I noticed he didn't order this with any pineapple on it. Mr. Harrison loves that. Oh, he's trying to get off of the pineapple. He's trying to shut up and go. Get out of here. Get out of here.

You're not supposed to know it's his house anyway. Man, why are you wearing his clothes? He likes it. Even when you wear his Sarch and Pepper's outfit, he really likes it. Right, what's your first Christmas song? Brian Adams Having a Rege Christmas

By Brian Adams That's a bad song What is How does this blend in the list? Oh my God, oh you know this song Do I? Oh yeah We're having a reggae Christmas

Having a reggae Christmas Having a good time too I hope it's reggae Christmas Otherwise I've been singing the wrong lyrics All these years There's like a weird music video where he's like walking around and like a Broadway play type of like

setting. This is a sketch where Pee We Herman is helping him here it is. That's the video. You know this. I can't believe you've never experienced this. Alright, listen, I haven't and I have two reactions to it. You've never heard reggae Christmas. First of all, why did Brian Adams

try to be sting? Oh, with like playing the white guy reggae. And two, I directly blame this song for the existence of that band that did why you gotta be so rude hey look look we all have our hits and misses some of us have the summer of 69 and then we have reggae Christmas it's it's it there's no you made an effort to make a Christmas song I don't blame him number the other next song I want to highlight is this piece of shit from the band uh fun which you may know as having produced someone who is dating

fun period lean lina done um wait someone from fun's dating lean it don't You know, I don't know if I mind this so much. Hold on. What about what we get towards the end? I don't know what's happening there. Do not adjust your dial. That's a giant mess of a thing. If you like it, that's fine.

I think it's one of the worst covers of all time of any song ever. I find that dude's voice to be good for one thing. And that's that song, carry on. Not even... Tonight. Is that that song I'm thinking of? We are your... Oh, we are, we are young's pretty good too, but he's got a good voice for like certain things, but not, not Slay Ride.

Also, Slay Ride kind of sucks anyway because I don't like that giddy up part. Gitty up, giddy up, giddy up. Yeah. And also because, let's face it, it's the Fox football theme. No. Oh my God, light bulbs flashing over Loso's head. No, it's not. It's the Fox football scene.

Wait, play that part of the. song then. This is literally Vader telling Luke and you're like, no, it's not possible. No, it's the fucking Fox football theme. I mean, they're similar.

All right, but that bell means it's time for me to tell you my second, or I guess this is my third least favorite Christmas song. And it's kind of an upset. So I think people like it. It's the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Carol of the Bells.

Tired of it. Don't need to hear it again. Like, I don't need a hard rock version of that song. I like the bells. I like, ding, do, do, ding. I don't need fucking axle or fucking metallic a slamming that song anymore. It was at a good garage. It had its time.

I feel like it came out at a time where doing sort of a medallish cover of a delightful song was a novelty. Yeah, now it's played, bro. Yeah. It's played out. You have to get past the Atari's doing a cover of... What is it? What's that? There is.

Oh, Jesus Christ. To be fair, you were just going... The boys of summer. The boys of summer. Like doing that. Sorry. And also the alien ant farm smooth criminals. The other example of...

The alien and farm version of Spoof, The Criminal, kicks ass. It does kick ass. Here's a song that is really disturbing. Mm-hmm. I wonder just going to be the same one I have. See, I was going to pick that one, but I thought it was so obvious. It's become a meme at this point. And is that a Christmas song, or is that a song about forcing a woman to stay at your place so she has nowhere else to go?

It is a song about forcing a woman to stay at your place where she has nowhere else to go. On Christmas. I also think it's a song. about Bill Cosby. But it's more a winter song than anything else, right? Like that, like Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Leathle Weapon is a movie that takes place during Christmas. This song is a song that takes place during Christmas.

It's not a Christmas song, I don't think. But, yeah, but, you know, listen, I know a lot of things in life have been revised due to the cultural shifts and shifting cultural norms. I think this is one of those positive outcomes from our changing society. which we identify a song that is as rapy as rapy can be and say maybe not maybe not celebrate it Are you seeing the keen peel? Yeah, the keen peel one There's also one I believe it's an I think it's S&L

Where it was Sigourney Weaver and Buster Poindexter Did a cover of it so it's like Sigourney Weaver who has got a lovely singing voice She's like I really can't stay in here But baby it's cold outside I'm actually terrified I'm gonna run away Maybe take these peels

He was great And uh The one word Christmas movie that I couldn't remember Yeah I couldn't remember No he was in the uh let it ride too He played Richard Dreybuss's The Generate gambling friend Not the talking horse movie but the gambling Yeah the one where Richard Dreyfus keeps winning

Let it ride and then what was the Bobcat Gullthway talking horse movie Um Hot the Trot Hot the Trot, that's right Nice John Candy Now if you combine them Well you'd have a movie Did you ever read the interview they did John Candy's kids?

Yes That's very sad Very I don't want to talk about that All right my number two Or three or two whatever It's any version You name whoever sang it

You name whoever's going to sing it Walk in in a winter wonderland Don't like it Hmm Not a fan of that song In the meadow We can build a snowman Get out of the fucking meadow

Build your snowman in front of your house This meadow's not yours Just go home And we pretend that he's Parson Brown He'll say are you married and he'll say no man who are you to ask about my marital stats

before giving me a job? What kind of bullshit is this? You can't do that's illegal to ask me about that. You can't ask my age, you can't ask my sexual orientation, you can't ask if I'm married to see if I can get a job from a fucking snowman. Fuck this song. There's a lot of people that think it's Carson Brown by the way. Carson Brown? Yeah, like just a dude

named Carson Brown. Not understanding what a parson was. So it's even more confusing. Like who is this mysterious Carson Brown? You've been sort of into this narrative. Well, you can do the job if you're... What do you mean? Oh, because I'm not or because I am?

Like, what's my answer? Like, what if I said yes? You'll say, are you married? We'll say no, man. Yeah. But you can do the job when you're in town. Because, like, you can tell he's disappointed that you're not. Like, oh.

Oh, you're living in sin. But you can do the job. Right. Like, but, not and, but it's a, you know, just don't, I don't like the message. That song gets an eternal pass from me for rhyming, conspire and fire. Come on. That's pretty solid. That's not that hard.

That song's pretty good. birds and tors. This song's a piece of shit. Lay it on me. This year number one or two? Number one. Is that the old guy from family guy singing that? Yeah, that's weird.

This is what's going to happen when Obamacare goes away. People are going to sing about how badly they want dental care for Christmas. Thanks, Trump. In the 1950s and 60s. Yeah, there's weird ones. You really could do anything. The hippopotamus song? Yeah, like the chipmunk song.

which is just like voices sped up like you could do the weirdest shit and get a novelty hit out of it and like a really big show tonight we've got we've got Johnny Johnny fever Johnny Jony Moeller with them

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth And then the Beatles Right It's like the guy on Silicon Valley Who put internet on the radio That's all these people were They were just like I'm gonna speed up the voices on this track

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth is a horrible song. I have a worse one for number one, but go ahead, make your case. It's a horrible song because it's just bad. It's a, it's bad.

First of all, it conflates the tooth fairy with Santa Claus in many ways, I believe. That makes me angry. Also, it's annoying as fuck. And also,

if you go on YouTube, there's a collection of people, probably the same monsters that make their kids eat hot jelly beans and then film it. Wait, There's hot jelly means?

Oh, like somebody fucks with their kids? Well, yeah, like there's an entire line of jellybellies that either tastes like socks or taste like fire or whatever. And like people film their kids eating it and then put it on YouTube and get like a million clicks. There's a collection of people that also have their children sing, all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth when they lose their teeth. And they think it's adorable and I think it's painful.

It's very, very sad. The kids, the kids embarrassed about his physical appearance and they made a song about it. Like, that's not cool. Yeah. it's right all I want for Christmas is the ability to walk again what if it was that song people wouldn't like it probably Christmas is to not have a disease wow okay that's that's that's a really great two-minute song yeah thanks what's your worst Christmas song ever all right this is this is I thought this was

gonna be yours because I felt like we were on the same wavelength but we're close let me just let me just get the volume here called up on you because I wanted to get the ad to play before the YouTube thing here we go ready yeah it's an it's the unmistakable golden the whole ones of I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. You're a child. You're not, you're still at an age where you believe

Santa Claus exists. Wait, did you want to play that? No, I clicked the wrong button, so I had to bail. I was taking the song to get to the fart where mommy was blowing daddy under the tree in front of the kid. Now, the problem with this being number one for me is that there's actually a good version of this song. it's the song

it's about a kid watching his dad fuck his mom in a Santa suit oh that you know where kissing goes to at that point it's kissing it's sweet have you seen bad Santa women women love the Santa suit my friend I know that but like it's a sweet kissing it's it's not it has nothing to do with the thing you just said

you know what it's like it's like the end of Jedi you think the story's over right the kissing is the end but you know if the song goes in the two minutes like suddenly daddy's got hands in places and mommy's grabbing stuff and then yeah next thing you know this kid is being sent to therapy for the next 20 years of his life and I believe my microphone just cut out no

the headphones the headphones stop working that's that might be an issue alright we can pick it out from here and just go through I find it to be a delightful Christmas song it kind of ties back into our previous conversation how did you find out I found out because mom was sucking face with dad under the mistletoe. Mom was cranking dad off under the tree. Why is dad dressed like Santa though? You're right. That's a little bit of a disturbing because it's a role-playing fuck session downstairs while the kid's asleep and the kid woke up and saw it and now he's fucked up forever. That's what happens

in that song. Adults don't kiss on Christmas night in the middle of the night downstairs and then go to bed. They're not they're not in middle school. They have sex in front of the kid. It's terrible. It's a terrible, terrible, terrible song. And he thinks mommy's cheating on dad. It's one of two things. Either he Figures it out when the mask comes, the beard comes off, or he thinks mom's cheating on. Dad, like, it's a horrible song. But honestly, like, maybe the kid identifies that it's in marriage that's not working. And, like, how cool was it that mom found an amazing guy like Santa?

Like, how cool. Santa's, like, the best guy. Kids, like, I'm going to get toys every day. Yeah. Dad's such a, dad's a dick. And, like, dad's never around. He's always working. And granted, Santa's never around either.

But we know he's working. No, but he's around 363 days of the year probably. Right. He's around in your heart, too. So it's like, yeah. So, like, maybe. Maybe the kids really happy because ultimately, you know, moms are in a better place. She's not dead. She's just, the marriage is dead.

She's not dead. You know who I would like my mom to be with? Easter money. Yamir Yager. And knowing Yager, he's probably going to make his way around at some point to every woman on the planet. So at some point, you may be able to call him dad. By the time you hear this show, there's a very good chance that Yomir Yager will have broken Mark Messier's second overall mark. Mark, if you will.

They're both tied as we did this podcast at 1887 overall. And that's a hell of a total. Mark, Messier or Yager, who's the better player? Oh, Yager. For sure. I think so, too. But I don't think that...

I saw, like, people were outraged that the idea that Yager is a better player than Messier. No. I feel like Messier's underrated because Messier, you know, he's the leader who leads in leading ways. But, like, he was a super-duper-talented like skilled player

because he played with Gretzky who played in the 80s when the goalies used to wear tampons on their legs to try to stop the puck but to be fair they really soaked up the sweat when you're when you're perspiring through your knees I do find it interesting

though that it's Messier's Mark that's so funny that you keep saying that Mark I don't know why that Yager is going to break because you talk about two guys who's off the ice life has inexplicably or undeniably I should say

to find who they are like Yager will forever be known as um dude with the gambling debts dude who made us way way through Eastern Europe's model community even at age 44 um

dude who became a mercenary at the end of his career because he wanted to play in places where there were no income taxes great guy uh dude who left for Russia dude who was a cancer in the locker room in Washington. And then on Messier's case, it's the, you know, Madonna, it's the Vancouver thing. It's, you know, wielding the powery wheeled behind the scenes with the Rangers.

Like, there's a lot of sort of parallels, I think, in celebrity between Yager and Messier. The Gary Coleman picture. Oh, and Gary Coleman picture. Also, how about this? Both were second fiddle. Gretzky forever in, and Gretzky had to, Gretzzi had to, Gretz. Gretzky's shadow was overcast on Messier, Messier came out of that shadow eventually.

Mario's shadow cast over Mario Jr. Anagram, and then Yager came out of it eventually. Yeah. Yeah? There you go. I feel like Messier's not thought of as second fiddle, though. Well, he was, but he's not thought of. He was like the Federoff to Eisenman with the Oilers.

And then he won without Gretzky, and then he, you know, saved hockey in 1994, according to many. God, I talked so much shit that day when they were up three, two. I thought it was over us The only difference is that, you know, Yager got his power from his hair and Messia got his power from having no hair. He's like the anti-Sampson.

That's right, the anti-Sampson. That's biblical talk, you know. Probably had a hell of a bush down there, though, I'm guessing. Well, I mean, he was the early 80s. You know, no one was doing anything down there. I think I saw some of it in that Gary Coleman picture. Oh, no. Like he had a...

Like you had a... Like you had a... Hello, what? Are you looking for an afro to... talk about? Yeah, I was trying to think of the mod squad. Yeah, the guy with the big afro. All right, there.

He had Sam Jackson from Unbreakable down there. There it is. Oh, I had this debate with Ruby the other day. Could they make different strokes today? A rich white man with a Park Avenue apartment adopts two black kids from a woman who used to work for him and allows them to explore the world of the rich. It would have to be like sat-house. It would have to be reversed.

They couldn't do it straight. It would have to be a rich black guy who adopts two kids from the country and puts them on Park Avenue. Yeah. I think that's what it would have to be. I don't think you can get away with it the other way. Yeah, that's what I mean if it did the other way. It would have to be like a commentary on societies.

And a long come to, they got nothing but their overalls. What are you talking about? What's y'all talking about? Mr. D. What's y'all thinking, man? Huh. What can I spit my tobacco, Mr. D? Exactly.

It'd be the poor white stereotype instead of the poor black stereotype. They could do the facts of life still. Yeah, there's always going to be women's coming. It'd be like girls, though, you know. Yeah, exactly. What else we got to talk about? Well, I was going to talk about Yager a little bit. You're feeling Yager.

I am, man. I find it to be so exciting when you have a... Eisenman was like this, too. When you have an undeniable legendary player, okay, who gets to a certain point in his career and says, okay, I can't do this thing anymore. I got to change up what I do. And in Eisenman's case, it was becoming a more complete player, becoming a... defensive whiz after being an offensive guy

In Yager's case it was no longer having the legs to be a fucking comet like he was when he played in the 90s and to be what I have always kind of compared it to he's like a post-up player in the NBA

he's like Rick Mahorn he's like using his ass backs the ass in backs the ass in backs the ass up and wins battles in the corner so you have that and then you also have other than Chelyos

a guy who was defined by his dedication to training. Yeah. And I love that. I love that about Yager. Because like, I'm the same way, because you and I are both

dedicated to training. You go to the gym a lot more than I do. Yeah. You have gym stories. Yeah. My gym story is like, I couldn't get the door open

to my locker. My gym stories aren't good though. I walked in on a guy blow drying his balls yesterday. Yeah, I read about that. It wasn't, it was, because I went in the morning. I never ever go in the morning,

but like, once every two weeks, and that's where like usually the old people are blow drying your balls, apparently. I did have a question. about that. But why blow dryer? Does your gym provide blow dryers? Or was he doing a headstand under the hand dryer?

No. There's some commercial where a woman's doing that where she's like drying your armpits and I'm like, I don't get how that works because it's hot air blowing on your armpit. That's not going to stop you from sweat. But no, yeah, it's like a little thing you put, there's a mirror right there. So he kind of, he didn't have like a leg up because he was an old guy. But like he just was kind of like tippy toe in the one leg

and he had his right hand and he was just just the undercarriage was getting a little cool dry. I guess the towel wasn't enough for him. I don't know. Maybe he can't reach with the towel. It makes total sense because if you go outside with wet sack hair, it's going to be matted for most of the day. So it makes total sense. And that was the other part of it too. I didn't leave out where it was like I couldn't totally see the balls because it was like it was like trying to see like a, it was like trying to see Nell's house in the woods.

It was obscured by all of the foliage that I couldn't really totally make out everything. I'm never going to. It's going to be in my head forever. Like Nell's house in the woods. His balls were tae in the wind. Instead of taking a dip in the lake to wash up, he decided to blow dry. I don't know. It's old people, man.

I can't wait to be that guy. So, yeah, Yager over Messia all day, all night. I couldn't be happier that he's going to be second overall. Do you think he would have... Nope. Never would happen. No, goals, not points. How many goals back is he at this point?

Oh, Jesus. Come on, man. Like, I have that ready. He's like $2.50 or something. He's not even close. Hockey reference. It's more than that. By the way, if you're not using hockey reference...

reference, why not? It's a rabbit hole. It's like IMDB for hockey. I'll put it out there like that. Career goals. Gretsky 894, Yager 755. So he's down to like, three years in the KHL and then a year lost to the work stoppage. So four years, basically. Well, you can't count that because Gretzky lost that stuff too. Gretzky lost 94-95? Yeah, but it's half a season. So give that back to him. So he'd have a thousand goals. But you're saying, yeah, I know. It doesn't really help. But no, you're saying, like, all right, like, if he didn't go to Russia, would he have done it?

This is all very sort of Florida recount. I know that. Like, you know, if we count these, but don't count these. Right. I get that. And the argument John Shannon put up last night was, well, if you're going to count, if you're going to say, well, what about Russia? Then you should, by that virtue, say, what about the WHA for both Gretzky and how, in which case, Gordy would be the all-time leading score going away. Well, it's not, it's not the NHL's fault.

Those guys weren't good enough to get into the NHL. Not their problem. No, I don't think you. I mean, it would be more fun if he was 43 and he was like 14 goals back or something. But I'll say this about Yager. Yeah? Played in the toughest era of any of these guys. Played through the trap years, played with goaltenders that actually learned the position.

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing about Gretzky and that'siae is that, look, Gretzky's on another level. I'm never going to say that Gretzky was a product of his era. He's, he is. He could have kept playing, too. He's a mutant. He was the best. there's no one touching them.

Because last year he had like 90 points and 80 games or something in like the dead puck card. Yeah, insane. But Messier Messier was a little bit of a product. Messier played the same arrow as Gratzky. Messier had...

And more and worse and beyond. His last 100 point season was 91, 92. He hit 99 and 95-96, which is pretty damn good. But then he had the trail off because he was 34. But Messia had 165 points in 8384. Can you imagine?

If you combine the totals of the top two point getters in the NHL today, you might not get the 165. Yeah. No, Yagerb is better. That should be a debate. I agree. Now, here is a debate. And listen, there are people in our lives that we love.

We love them big time. But our friends on the Stick to Sports podcast, Sean Gentilly and Ryan Lambert. Tatekists. Top takest supreme. Both agree, I believe. I believe Sean agrees with this, right? Oh, they do.

Oh, yeah. Oh, Sean's more vocal about it than Lambert is. Lambert wrote on Twitter, If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Iron Man 3, kiss, kiss, bang, and neath a weapon, but none of them are, don't at me. Well, we're going to at you, sir.

Because... It's not the same thing, those movies. As played out as Die Hard as a Christmas movie is, even more played out. out is diehard is not a Christmas movie. Let me count the ways. It's every way. It's a Christmas movie. Let's start with the music. The most obvious thing.

When Ode to Joy... Is a lot in a cartoon? No, it's not a cartoon. It's a fucking cartoon. Die Hard's a Christmas movie. When Ode to Joy is the basis for all of the music in the movie, it might be a Christmas movie. When the lead

character's names is Holly It might be a Christmas movie Wow, you're really going deep now on this Yeah, I am It's just I can't read my writing You have the Christmas party

You have Which by the way, as you said Is a major point in the plot Because Essentially It's the day they chose to rob the place Right When nobody would be there

When nobody would be there It would be easier to take over Easier to take over exactly And John goes out there To visit her On Christmas for Christmas he's there John how could you say that

for all these guys Hans Booby Bovie All right You have that You have things like Al Powell

singing Let It Snow You have a character named Argyle Named after a stocking In the car listening to Christmas in Hollis It's there in every way a movie could be, just because like,

it's because like a child doesn't learn the meaning of Christmas in it, doesn't mean it's not a Christmas movie. Should we talk about... Yes, we should. Should we talk about... Theo. It's Christmas. It's a time for miracles. Right.

Should we talk about, now I have a machine gun, ho, ho, ho. She talk about Christmas packing tape being used in a critical part of the movie to hold the gun in his back. Should we talk about the fact that Carl who I'm assuming his last name is Hingus like in

Kovsky Carl is hung like an ornament when we think he's dead and that Carl in Polish it's Carol like a Christmas Carol

it's all right there people should we talk about the fact that at the end of the film spoiler because of the giant explosions that happened at Nakatomi Plaza I'm at Nakatomi Plaza I'm at Nakatomi Plaza I turn up my car on a Swiss cheese. I gotta send it back up now.

No, goddamper, no. No, goddamn it, no. The paper is falling from the sky. Falling from the sky on the people below. Like, snow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Should we talk about the fact?

Oh, no, what's this one going to be? Should we talk about the fact that John McLean has a big giant teddy bear that's obviously a present? Yes. He's there for Christmas. But more than anything else, I think. I think it's time that we really focus in on what diehard is. And what is die hard, Dave Lozo? What is the plot of Die Hard?

It's a fucking Christmas movie. Terrorists take over a building? No, sir. What is it? It's not what diehard's about. Do your bit. What do you got? Die Hard is about one man's battle to preserve Christmas

as a time for family and love and not money. money and capitalism exactly it is a story about a man who is battling against evil forces

taking over literally taking over Christmas ending a Christmas party that's taking over Christmas to take money to steal their money the people's money and keep it for themselves

out of greed and out of avarice the opposite sir of the Christmas spirit. And it is about a man. How much of a man is he? He's a man who's down to his undershirt and bare feet. That's how much of a man he is.

Just like Santa is when he gets home after delivering all the presents. And this man is risking his life. Yes. To save Holly, aka Christmas. Saving Holly, right. Right.

From the greedy capitalists that are trying to steal all the money and ruin Christmas. He just wants to get back to his family. There's a fucking Christmas tree in half the scenes in the fucking lobby where they're having the party or the room where they're having the party. Hans Gruber.

Yes. A famous name? Uh-huh. You know how George Lucas came up with the name of Darth Vader? How do he do it? Well, the name Vader is very similar

to the name father. If a child says it. This is actually what he says. The child says Father I need my cookies George Lucas is stupid kids who can't pronounce things Like Darth Vader was named after

The sound of the word father Hans Gruber Very close to hands grabber Grabbing with the hands Taking the money Holly Christmas Holly So that's diehard for you

Christmas movie He's trying to hands grabbed the money and he's trying to save Holly. Case closed. As far as I'm concerned, the case has never been opened. Again, Christmas is key to the plot of the movie. You can make the argument and lethal weapon.

It's just the thing happening in the background while Gary Busey and his army buddies are murdering dudes and it just happens to be Christmas. Christmas, the movie is set on Christmas Eve and Christmas for a reason there's Christmas messages, the Christmas spirit, they're robbing the building because it's empty because of Christmas, it's a Christmas movie.

You do not need to have like a mom and a dad reconcile who are divorced for the spirit of Christmas for it to be a Christmas movie. It doesn't have to be an overarching thing where like a child gets a gift. Like, what's more of a Christmas movie? Die hard or jingle all the way? Jingle all the way is just two asshole dads trying to buy a fucking toy for their kid. That could be for a birthday. And there's a Christmas parade in the middle of the day.

Yeah, like what the fuck is that? A teuggle man. First, I want to get the Turbo Man. Then, who else is in that movie? Danny DeVito? No, it's Sinbad as a mailman. Oh, Sinbad, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Anakin Skywalker himself, Jake Lloyd is the kid.

Oh, he's the kid in that movie? Yeah. I didn't know that. Dad, what's a Mitochlorian? Mitheclorian is the tiny orchids that give us the force. Stop it. First, I want to cut off your hand. This hot take Diehard shit drives me nuts

Yeah Yeah You're also like me A defender of love actually right It's a good movie It is a good movie I understand I understand that it's quote

problematic Because of how like shitty all the dudes are And how one dimensional Yeah He's secretary Right Yeah

Right Like he's Pretty much every Relationship in that movie The guy is a dick And the woman is just like An afterthought Yeah

I get it Yeah Except for that part with Emma Thomason. I always makes me cry. What part? When she realizes that Alan Rickman's cheating on her and she's, look, I think it's going to be that fabulous necklace and it winds it being like a CD instead. By the way, do you believe or do you not believe that he bangs the secretary?

He bangs the secretary. I didn't think he did. Oh, I think he totally does. I thought he never got around to it. I thought it was symbolic that he gave her, that the necklace was the thing. Like if the necklace had been for Emma Thompson, then we know he didn't do it. But I think that necklace going to the secretary is like, you don't give a necklace to that. Someone like that, if you're not banging him.

Yeah, but if you're like a desperate, weird old, not weird, but a desperate horny. A desperate old man who put sprigs of Harry Potter. I am not banging my secretary. I never thought he was, but I read a thing like he was apparently like the, who was the guy that wrote the movie again? Oh, director wrote the movie. But anyway, regardless, he says that he didn't. No, he says that he did. Oh, yeah.

totally did. Yeah, I just didn't think that was how. I thought it was just he was just like in a flirtatious thing where he loved the attention. He wasn't necessarily having the sex with her. But yeah. Having the sex. Hello. And then there's the weird fucking, the creepy guy from fucking Walking Dead who's trying to bang his best friend's wife all the time. It's, I get it. I get it. I get it. It's like, it's like, it's like, okay, if you voted for Drew Doughty for the Norris, I don't get it. If you voted for Shane Gossis bear for the Calder, I get it. I disagree with you. But I get it. I get why you don't like love actually But it's it's an enjoyable It's an enjoyable is it It's a Christmas movie Just like die off Real quick Because I know people were asking about Rogue 1

We're gonna talk about it On next week's show Because Lozo's gonna see it I'm gonna see it tomorrow Yeah don't have to watch the first third of it You can just come in two thirds of it in Because the first third I don't know if you've told you

It's a slog Now it's a third Because you said it said the first hour Was a slog Now it's down to a third I believe it's the three hour movie I looked it up It's two hours and ten minutes.

You add in the trailers. All right. It's time for a Puck Soup for us to talk about what you want us to talk about. It's time for listening or mail. Right. Question one is Greg and Dave, can you talk about Rogue One? Oh, come on. Will Morales has a question that he wrote out on his notepad on his phone, then screenshot it and gave it to us.

So anyone's going to do that much effort. By the way, plug in your phone. Your battery is low. I'm up to 72% now I'm doing good Oh that guy you're talking about My wife and my new year's My wife

Oh this this This syntax My wife and my New Year's Eve day tradition Is to stay in and watch a movie trilogy Starting with last year And going back The movies have been

The Riddick series Oh my God Leave him What are you doing Oh my God Are you telling me you necroman Wait, there's three of those? Necrombos have found the universe.

Wait, there's not three of those, is there? Yeah, there's pitch black, Chronicles of Riddick, and then just Riddick. I don't know. Where they bought it back to being more like pitch black. Oh, boy. The diehard series, the diehard series, so that's a diehard. Oh, okay, so he didn't bother with the last two. Good on you.

The Pirates of the Caribbean series. It's a lot of bad series. It's not a bad series. Boy, oh, boy, if you're watching those movies back to back to back. No, I said there's a lot of bad series. Oh. There's four of those. And finally the Lord of the Rings where it all started.

Boy, if you... I'm thinking about, like, how many inches of snow it would take for there to be outside for me to shut myself in and watch either Lord of the Rings or the Pirates series all the way through on a day. I'm assuming he just means the three, not like the Hobbit, the other Hobbit ones, right? No. Like, there's not a time in the day. This year, the frontrunner is lethal weapon. What do you think? Anything else we should consider?

I'll tell. Lithu weapon's not a bad choice. There's four of those, though? I'm thinking like trilogies. Well, I mean, the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy, if you haven't seen it, but I'm assuming that you probably have seen it, or else that would be, like, the pick. I wouldn't want to watch that last one again. Best movie trilogy.

Oh. What a lovely, lovely, lovely voice. What a lovely, lovely convenient. Yeah, lethal weapons a great choice because, and maybe it's like, this is like the Shane Black episode of the show. The movies, the movie, there's character progression through the movies. Now, granted, in the case of Mel Gibson, the progression is going from a Supreme Badass to a Three Stooges character. Right. But like, there's a flow to them,

the characters, I like, I like those Lethal Weft movies a lot. I think that'd be my choice. Trying to find a better one. Not a better one, but just like a different type one. How about? Uh-oh. You sit down with your wife because you want it to be, you know, have a little romance in there. The Before Sunrise trilogy. Hey. Before sunrise, before midnight, after midnight. Those are actually really good movies, I think. I've never seen them. The last one's bad. The first two are good. The last one is just like they wanted to cap it off and it's bad. But I feel like in every trilogy, the third one's usually the worst one. Right. So watch before sunrise, before sunset.

Before sunset. Is it? No, it's before. Four Sun set after... Watch those three movies. And then watch Training Day and pretend that's where Ethan Hawke's character went afterwards. He became a cop. It makes sense. Because in the third one,

they're the most miserable fucking couple. You're watching it for two hours, and you're just like, this is fucking terrible. He's two hate each other. I don't want to watch this. And it ends, and there's nothing even really like resolve.

It's just like, well, all right, thanks for making this movie, Ethan. Dave R wants to know, Vladimir Tarasenko, stealth heart trophy candidate. Nope. Oh, I think he is. is, but I just don't think that, like, there's going to be, I mean, he might get the third

pick, although I think that's inevitably going to go to a goalie this year. He's, he's, he's, he's not going to win it. Not stuff. It's like, it's like, it's like when people say, like, what's your, what's that word? People always want to put before a pick when it's, like, crazy. Like, what's your blank, blank to win the Stanley Cup? Like, who's your, oh, man, I do this a bleacher for a lot of time. Who's your, your, uh, dark horse?

Bold picks. Bold picks. Oh, okay. But your bold pick for the, bold is always code for a thing that's not going to happen. Like, Vladimir Tarasenko is not going to win. He's not. It's going to be Connor McDavid or Cindy Crosby. Who remains with the Rangers longer, Tom Ortz Jr. wants to know.

Lane Vigno or Dan Girardi. Alain Villarri, for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure. They'll find it. Easy. Dan Girardy, you can't go to Vegas, right? He's got that. Yeah, he's got that.

Yeah. Jake Ivy wants to know, not counting your own, what are your top three podcasts of the year? I would say for me Do Boys The podcast about fast food I would say From what I've listened to I'm trying to think what I listen to

Film spotting Always up there Great film discussion With With those boys As we take out our phones And tap on my podcast I'm trying to think what would be

I don't want to say Doug Wolf's movies Because that's like Sort of self-serving Big fan of Recode Media with Peter Kafka which is a show that covers people in the tech industry, but also people in the media industry.

He's done some really interesting interviews with movers and shakers in this deer industry that I'm in. So I like that one too. Peter Kafka. And in fact, Adrian Warnowski, who we just saw before, did an episode of that one

and totally through-shaded everybody else in his industry, which is a lot of fun. He was pumped because the Iron Sheek just followed him on Twitter. That's right. What about you? What be your top three?

I'm not a huge podcast guy I listen to Jonas and I listen to Katie's, Katie Owens, depending on the guest, like if it's like somebody I'm interested in, but like, you know, Jonah just had Carl Ravich on, I'm not going to listen to that one, but like what you had on Tim Kirchon, like I like Tim Kirchin, I'm going to listen to that one.

Katie's kind of the same way. Like she'll have like JJ Redick on and I'm like, no thanks, but if he has like Michael Ian Black, I'm like, yeah, sure. So, me, besides that, um, you know, Aaron Gloria Ryan on Twitter She writes for a new place now, The Daily Beast. She has a podcast called Girl Friday.

And it's not all girls. Like they usually have like a guy once in a while. But like it's just funny. Like they're just talking about politics and stuff. She's funny. That's, uh, those are my podcast. Cody Houdaman wants to know. Have you ever done Times Square on New Year's Eve?

Have you ever done it? I don't know the answer to that. And like, God, when I was like 22 or 23, we were so stupid. We were like, all right, let's go. let's go to Times Square and do the Times Square New Year's Eve thing. And I'm like, yeah, woo. Meanwhile, we left to go at like 9.30. Got the Penn Station at like 10, 15, started walking down to up towards Times Square.

Got within like 10 blocks. And we were like, can we get around these like gates? Because they had like those metal. Like cops are like, are you guys fucking idiots? You can't get up there now. It's like, no, we can. We can. They're like, are you different beers in those bags?

All right, we got to go. See you. That was as close as I ever got. I did it about, I think it was like 19. and me and some friends in Maryland and also some friends from back in Jersey all went and we did the same thing. We got to Times Square late

and noticed that it is an impenetrable sea of people and security gates. So what we did was we actually I think we watched it from outside, right outside of a subway station. Like literally standing in the doorway of a subway station near Times Square and then the ball dropped

everybody celebrated. It's a really, Really, I mean, to answer your question, it is an amazing moment, like when it strikes midnight and everybody there just starts hugging and sing in. And it's actually quite lovely. But then the aftermath is scary. So we all hightailed it back to Penn Station and got on the first train we could to Jersey before it got crazy. And it was standing room only. Everybody was shit hammered. Not as fun, but still an experience. It's an experience. It's much like a lot of things in New York. It's something you do once. And then. you don't do it again, like walk up to the fucking torch on the Statue of Liberty. I've never done that. Yeah. Like, you do it once and then, and then you call it a day. But it is a very singular experience that if you're, if you're not someone who hates crowds,

I would say, I would say do it once in your life. I've never done any touristy shit. I've never gone to the top of, like, the Empire State Building. I never gone to the top of the 30 Rock. I was on a boat one time. We rode past the Statue of Liberty. It's way bigger than I ever realized. But I've never like, I'm like Chandler on friends when like he brings in Anna Farris.

Come on, you know the episode. Yeah. Yeah, you don't. No idea. Or like he's like, oh, this is so hot. That's going to be me at some point when I go and like see all the stuff. But until then. Skywise wants to know worst Christmas dessert.

Is there like a specific Christmas desserts? I was in Starbucks on Thursday. And I was trying to decide what I wanted. I don't want a coffee. I'm like, I want to get something else. What do they got? And they had some sort of fruit cake flavored cappuccino or some shit. And I almost threw up on that little cold case of like yogurt because it was the idea of putting that fruit cake flavor in my mouth and coffee form made me so sick. Fruit cake is disgusting.

Fruit cake is disgusting. And unfortunately, I think that we're on opposite sides of the battle, the battle lines for the great eggnog wars. Oh, I love the knot. I fucking hate eggnog in all of its forms. So good. Ruby says she makes it. When's she going to make some for us? I don't know. Maybe she's not going to make it because she knows how much I hate it and she just be wasting her time. Come on, Ruby, I'll drink it all. Hey, like the tone. Come on, baby.

You know I'll be over there and drink that eggnog. Um, all right. Finally, two more. Um, would you rather have a threesome with the sedans, the stalls, or the bends? Asked, uh, Agu, Agu Eat World. Wait, it's girl free. It's just all the dudes. Just me and two dudes? Yeah. Yeah.

Would you rather have a threesome with the sedans, the stalls, or the bends? Maybe, I mean, we could either have women. No, I guess it's just us and the dudes. It has to be, because then it's no longer, then becomes an orgy. Well, the bends are out for obvious reasons. Why? Oh, yeah. Yeah, come on.

Jamie's not going to take care of me. I don't know. I don't appreciate a selfish lover. No reciprocation. Sorry, James. I go with the stalls because, frankly, the sedines would be confusing. Oh, I'm going to go with the sedines because it's cool to say you had a menager-a-to-o with twins.

That's a cool thing to tell people, right? And twins? I love menage with sedans having sex with three because they're twins and I. The only, but you wouldn't be freaked out when you're having sex with Daniel and you look up and Henrik's feeling it? No, I could say really funny things during the sex. I'd be like, so the connects are in the last place. Looks like we're bottoming out again here, aren't we? Because we're having sex.

I think it'd be actually quite central because they probably are able to have amazing sex without even speaking. They just know where the other one's going to be the entire time. I'm like, yeah, we're all in bed together and like Daniel like rolls away from me. I'm like, oh, wow, how did you know Henrik was going to be there?

Wait, yeah, I feel like actually that's a better point. Maybe I should go with the stalls because I'll feel left out. The Siddines are going to, I'm going to be like, I'm like, Ross on friends when he has a menage with his ex-wife. Lozo puts his hand behind his head. He's like, how was I, boys? You're like, you know, you're a bit of a bit of a, bit of a Louie. We're hoping you'd be more of a, more of a, of a, you know, more of an Anson or more of a boroughs.

We're looking for someone to burrow in there and get the, get the puck. And you were just kind of sitting there. Yeah, but, you know, we paid a lot for you and I feel like you're a bit of a louis. Wait, wait, they're paying for me to do this? What a whore? You could do because I want to. At least you're not a redeem. And you, yeah, it's like the sex is bad for the first 45.

This guys are straight up for Bata. No, no, no, it's like, it's like, I'm really bad for a while, and then I totally redeem myself. All right. Finally. Stahl's too big, too. If you can give a Christmas pret. Well, Eric Stalls. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Jamie Ben. Well, Jamie Ben was like, dude, I'm all about going down on people. I'd be like, I'm in Jamie. Yeah. Bring Jordy to it. I can't. I would always forget Jordy's name.

Like, I know your brother, and I know you're on the team like Cousahan or whatever, but like. Which one's older again? How are you older, but not as good? I don't understand. Why isn't there a Ben Ben Ben? Is there a Benjamin Ben? Why wasn't Jordy Benjamin Ben?

Honestly, you have one shot in life to be born with a gift of a last name. They're going to eventually get around to it. They're going to eventually going to get around the Ben. Yeah, or any name. Gentle Ben. Big Ben Big Ben There you go

B-I-G-G-E That's the thing Jamie the whole time in bed It'd be like call me Big Ben Yeah No No Stop making it weird Jamie

You're a bit of Delaware No Well, Ben Dover What? Where would it happen too Because if it happens In the city where they play Maybe I would pick Dallas

For the barbecue afterwards Oh seriously I'm really I really want to make sure I'm making sure eat the right show. Vancouver's got good seafood. Are you kidding me? You get done with the sedans. You're all in a sway pile. Then one of them rolls over and says,

okay, it's high the meatballs. Let's get some sushi. Well, that's Sweden. I'm talking like a nice like sushi platter probably afterwards. And then we can eat the sushi off each other. I guess it all depends on what kind of barbecue you like. Either Carolina barbecue, you like Texas barbecue. Or a juicy of Eric stall. No one's in Carolina

anymore. Jordan is. Oh, wait. Holy shit. Are we talking about different stalls? Were you talking about Mark? Mark and Eric. I'm talking about Jordan and Eric Why? Why would Mark Stahl not be in the Stahl threesome? Because I mean I like Jordan A lot better than Mark

This whole time we were having sex with different stalls And didn't realize it? Oh my God, this is so embarrassing This is such an unprofessional Podcast where we don't plan ahead to talk about Our Menages with NHL players Jared Stahl Jared Stahl looking wistfully from the window As it all goes down

Oh, that stall Oh, I was thinking of the shitty fourth stall I was thinking Jordan stall from the hurricanes. I was thinking Mark and Eric. Right. I know you were. This is no confusion. You're thinking about Mark and Eric. I was thinking of Jordan and Eric.

Who's all... No, I thought when you said... You thought I bet Jerry. Yes, that's what I was thinking. Who again is at the window we're looking at? Yeah, who's just like, guys? Wow, this whole time. Yeah. Who knew? Should we like recut this whole part over again about us, menaging players? When there are surprises. Finally, Dylan Betts wants to know if you could give a Christmas gift to

any NHL team. What team? What team would it be and why? I wouldn't give shit to any NHL team. I would give. What would you give? Inspire me. Speaking of the Dallas Stars, I would wrap up any goaltender with a save percentage above 905 that can play 60 games in a season

and give it to them. Anybody, anybody of that nature to them, straight away to get them back into this thing. Hmm. So it's like a toys for tots thing where we're going to give a gift to someone in need. Okay.

It could be like Yankee Swap where you take a really good gift from somebody else and give it to it to you. It's really tough to shift from like player menaging to like analysis of what teams need for the down the stretch. My gift is my boom. My gift is my tender lips. I give Connor a line made. I would give Carolina players. You know what I mean? Yeah, like they're like six deep.

They play good hockey, but they just don't have a lot of talented dudes. Like, I wouldn't just give them, like, a guy. I wouldn't, like, let's, let's, like, trade them three guys to the deadline so they can make a run at Columbus and get Columbus out of the playoffs so we can go on the podcast on April 15th and be like, suck it, Columbus fans, told you so. Oh, boy. I've had that daydream a lot in the last couple weeks, but I don't think it's going to happen. With the daydream with Jordan and Eric, or the daydream of Columbus not making the play.

The dream of Columbus, you know, bottoming out at one point. and like the five people that have really upset me on Twitter. Wow, you get really mad at Twitter. No, it's not about that. It's just, like I said, they're impeding my enjoyment of this whole thing. All right. That's this week's puck soup. Next week, year and review.

We're going to review the year. January 1st, 2016. It was a warm day. Warmer than usual. January 2nd. A bit rainier. I remember having a cruller. I was a little hungover from the winter classic,

but I only threw up once. All right. Well, I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahu's Puck Daddy blog. You could read me on Puck Daddy on Yahoo Sports. I'm at Wachinsky on Twitter. I do this podcast and the America versus Wichinsky podcast. When Jeffie has a chance to do it, he's a very busy man. Jeffie.

And time has basically run out for the bonus stuff for buying my book. But if you want to, take your eye off the puck. How to watch hockey by knowing where to look is available at all places where books are sold. And maybe there'll be more books coming. Wink, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Here's Dave Lazo. Now, it probably won't be an in-depth novel, this particular book, but it may be a fun sort of post-holiday hockey fan treat for not a lot of money.

For not a large sum. You won't have to take out a loan for this type of book. But it could be coming soon. Yeah, it's the kind of book that you can, you know, take with you wherever you go. Right. Not necessarily have to lug it around. No. Maybe have it exist in the cloud.

Where things exist that aren't analog. That's right. That's what we could be doing. But, you know, just something to keep in mind. That's right. Post December 25th. Maybe. Well, Merry Christmas Day, Lozo.

My gift, as always, is sitting across the table from you watching you knock over your empty water bottle while I'm on my second Red Bull. How great was that glove save? It was for solid, though. the ground. And I'm thankful too for sitting across from you and more of the check nerd ascends every three months. That's really what I'm too.

And also the obsessive compulsiveness in which I check six minutes into the show to see if the audio is working. Yeah, like that'll be like on the bonus, the bonus episode. Like our 25 year anniversary episode will have the first six minutes of this episode played back with the static. And on that note,

I think I'm going to say goodbye. And that's it. That's it. Oh, Merry Christmas. And happy holidays, Trump's America. What up? Now leaving nerdist.com.