Puck Soup - Stan Fischler

Episode Date: April 5, 2018

Greg and Dave welcome hockey legend "The Maven" Stan Fischler to discuss the end of his incredible career, era vs. era in the NHL, the demise of hockey fighting, Gary Bettman and some of his greatest hockey memories. Plus, the boys give a tribute to the Sedin twins, talk goalie interference controversies, take another run through the NHL Award, play the Channing Tatum game, talk playoffs, discuss "Dilly Dilly" vs. the PGA, rank their top five Steven Spielberg movies and discuss the changes Puck Soup fans would make in the Stanley Cup postseason. Presented by Seat Geek and Just For Men!

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by Permanent Don't Miss Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Rayne Wilson in the outrageous comedy Permanent. Set in 1982, Permanent follows a hilariously awkward family struggling through major life changes and bad hair, all the while trying desperately to emerge intact together regardless of what life throws at them. Sounds like my Easter. Permanent is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and Digital HD for. from Magnolia Home Entertainment Permanent, the lovely and talented Patricia Arquette from true romance, and a slightly less lovely,

and probably just as talented, Rain Wilson from the office. Enjoy the show. I didn't realize, I thought you were going to say something. Oh, no, I wasn't sure if we were riffing before or that was like, that was all we had to do. You know what I mean?

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It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. Puck soup. Hey, everybody. I'm Dave. And I'm Greg Wyshinsky of ESPN. And you're in. You're in Puck Soup. I'm going to get this thing shortened down to like four seconds before the season's over.

Dave here. I just can't wait. until you get like an amazing job like you're like you I'm Dave I'm Dave Lozo Dave representative of the sixth district in Hoboken and I'm here to tell you that you're in Puck Soup of districts have you ever thought about running for office what are you high no I'm what I can barely take care of myself but you're responsible for thousands of people but you're charismatic no I'm not and you are power hungry you would love to have influence over the the lives of others

wouldn't you want to you know it was one of my favorite things ever in politics was the remember when uh mayor juliani had his own radio show on 770 here in new york you don't remember that and so it was what i know that think think of like um think of the questions that we get at live shows sometimes right and now think of that as a radio show where it's like uh yes caller you're there uh how can how can the mayor help you and then it's like it's like there's a Hat Hall at the corner of 7th and 43rd, it is right up my apartment. The dog can't walk across the street anymore. And he's just like, yeah, you know, we had 357 gun deaths earlier this month, and I'll get to that pilehole when I get a chance.

So like a show for the commissioner where people call it and be like, hey, what's up, Bob in Jersey? What's the deal with goalie interference today? That man had that show on XM. It doesn't happen anymore. You're right. I remember that now. at the commissioner hour on XM, and I used to love that show because it was the same. It was sort of modeled on that Giuliani show.

And you get people calling up, you know, being like, you know, there should be two pucks, you know, play with two pucks. So they got one puck over there and one puck over here. And no matter where you're sitting, you know, I paid $300 from my grandson and I to come to the game the other night. We couldn't even see the puck on that side of the ice. So two pucks would be great. Thank you for your call. Okay. Pucks cost much.

funny, though. I couldn't help but notice on the game last night between the National Predators and the Florida Panthers that there was an egregious, a goally interference call that overturned a good goal. Your thoughts? Don't dig too deep if you don't see anything. Remember that was the advice? And then weeks later, now it's still giant gaping hunks of fucking bullshit every night when it comes to goalie interference? Well, they've got Coley Campbell and a, what I'm assuming? is a 94-year-old man wearing a striped shirt falling asleep at like 11 o'clock at night in Toronto.

So why should there be controversy anymore? Even if you make the case that Victor Arvinson interfered with Roberto Luongo in that game last night as we do the show today. Then you have to take into account a lot of things. That Arvinson was being pushed into Luongo by Keith Yandel stick. That Luongo was turning his head to look for the puck because he knew we didn't have it. He also, I believe the operative phrase and what you just said is he didn't have it. He didn't have the puck anyway. Whereas Philip Forsberg, no matter what Luongo is doing, even if Arvinson is spinning him like a fucking top at the end of inception.

Do people spin tops anymore? He can't, the puck's loose behind him. So Forzberg could have just skated up and took the puck and scored. It's insane. And Luongo's reaching out because he's reaching out for Arvison because he knows he doesn't have the puck. He's afraid Arvinson is going to get to the puck because he knows he doesn't have it, which causes him to be off balance more easily spinnable. If the call on the ice was a goal. No goal.

Let's say it was no goal. Okay. I can see how that's tough to overturn. Fine. I don't agree. But there's no way that's like the catch-in Buffalo in the Patriots game where Kelvin Benjamin, they overturned it, even though there was no real one way or the other. There's no real one way of the other here.

You can't. But hey, it happened in Toronto, so we can't argue anymore. Look, I'm willing to go with you on maybe if you see something on a play and you're like, oh, maybe. But there was. what, half a dozen maybes on that play where you could be like, well, I don't know, well, I don't know, well, I don't know. Like, once he get to that point,

like, the ruling from the league was that he deliberately stuck his stick in Luongo's glove or whatever the hell they said. And little tiny 5'7, Victor Arvison, caused 6'4.6 Roberto Luongo and his extra 40 pounds to spin that much with just one little jab at the stick too.

Meanwhile, and I'm only saying this because I had the benefit of all the replays the NHL had. He didn't have the fucking puck. The puck was behind him. It was leaving his pads. His fucking, he didn't have it.

I know. But here's what I like the picture, though. I like the picture, like, there's like an old man, an old referee man in a glass case, and then the call comes in and they break the case. And he runs around the hockey ops war room with his whistle, blown his whistle,

making signals. He doesn't know what's going on because he's completely senile. And then he just says, that's no goal. I have a bet. I've always envisioned it now that the NHL has invited ex-referees be part of the process, that it's kind of like Iron Chef,

where Coley Campbell turns to the back of the room and three referees rise from the floor. And you have Iron Ref, Don Quarsky, and he's got like a donut in his hand. You have Iron Ref Rob Schick, and he's got a funny mustache. Then I have Iron Ref who'd be the other one? Carrie Frazier, like, hair spraying his hair with Aquat. What would be the other one?

Oh, Paul Stewart, and he takes a fighting pose kind of thing. or whatever. Paul Stewart described. He was a big guy. Yeah, he was a scrapper. So, yeah, that's how I picture it. And they're like, who would be perfect to blow this call? I know.

Don Gaharski. Come on down. How would you blow this call? I challenge you, Iron Ref, Don Goharski. I've watched the review, and there's like 12 things that can go either way. Overturn it. He fell. Have another donut you're not big.

No, we don't use that. The have a donut thing doesn't really apply to this situation, but I love the creativity. We're going to go with it. It's absolutely 100% indisputable. So, goal of interference is still fine. And, uh, it's gonna fuck someone on the class. You know, and it's fucked to the point where now, not only does a former PGA champion tweet at the NHL. That was the, that was the best part about last night. Not only does Jack Bauer himself, Kiefer Sutherland, tweet at the NHL, who I don't even think is a Predators fan.

I think he's a Bruins guy. It's just watching the game. And he's like, this is where shit. He's like, what are we doing? And fucking, once you lose Carrie Underwood. Carry on, Carrie Underwood. Now, obviously, it should be said that there is a certain, you know, bias. she has she is a Predators fan I believe her husband plays for the team Even Dennis K. Morgan didn't think that was a great one. The thing I loved about Carrie Underwood last name was not only that she'd be like

Y'all got to fix this NHL but then she followed up with that play was poop emoji. She dropped the poop Did she like CC the NHL Twitter? She went after the NHL twice. Waiting all day for Tuesday night poop emojis out

We're gonna fight. I do find it to be a problem though that now whenever carry under with bitches about the league and I'm sorry I said bitches because she's a woman involved but complains about the league someone has to make

the Jesus take the wheel joke because that's her big song She has a song called Jesus take the wheel Yeah you know You know like when your life's all out of control Sometimes you look up to the sky and say Jesus take the wheel So is it like commentary on self-driving cars

Is that what the song is? Jesus Jesus take the wheel I waited all week for Sunday night. Jesus, take the wheel. Google Cars gonna get you killed. Listen, while we're singing, we might as well do a torch song to the Sidene Twins.

A what? Goodbye to the Sardines. Oh, the twins. I think this is a DeVito Schwarzenegger a bit. And it seems to me your hockey life was like a Daniel in the wind. Never winning a Stanley. I would have liked to known you, but I couldn't tell you apart.

You played too late on the West Coast for me to stay up late. I have to give the Sadeen's credit because it could have gotten pretty weird this summer. Like the Kinex could have been like we want to move on, we don't want to pay the money. They could have been like, we want two years, borka, borka. And so it could have been one of these situations where it's a Bredor with the blues or Madonna with the Red Wings where all of a sudden. My prediction, long prediction, was that the Siddins end up in Calgary playing for Brian Burke. I drafted him. I'll take them out too.

And that would have been painful. Yeah. Got to get Daniel to do some more spearing in the balls. He's too soft. Procalaance, pugnacity, sweet assity, ring and berry juice. Sweet acid? Sweet. sweet assity

sweet sweet sweet ass badass badass oh I think like Homer Simpson like sweet sweet

sweet sweet sweet back to the left back to the left um no I'm happy that it

they took they took the the onus to say we're done you know and not prolong the agony it's kind of sad in the sense

that what you wanted a longer goodbye if the Kinnucks weren't such dog shit I think they come back like they're probably just like

I don't want to do this again I don't want to you know lug around whatever dummy they're going to on our wing that's not going to be that good. Right. And then also

play fewer minutes because they're given all the minutes to Hobart and Bassar. They're still contributing. They're not completely, they're not what they used to be. But they're still fine. They're not seven million dollar players. But like, if you wanted to, you could bring them back for like four million a piece and then have them be like depth players. But like they're so bad. Like, why would they do it?

But why would they do that? Yeah. I mean four million apiece. Well, I mean Zadano Char is coming back for for peanuts. Yeah. He can win a cup, right? Because that's what I'm saying. Yeah. I, yeah. The Knotes being bad screws them. The tragedies of the Vancouver's a bad team. Yeah. But I mean, I prefer this. I prefer the tidy sort of we've played for one franchise and

our run with one franchise to them going someplace else and having the fire still burning inside of them. It would have been weird to see the Cedines anywhere about Vancouver. I could still picture Broder in that blues jersey. God damn. It's so weird. Why? He felt like he could still play. You're the ego, man. The Cedines don't really have egos. Madano, at least it was a situation. Well, it wasn't really a situation. Like, that guy should have known. Madonna was the same thing.

He was just, they didn't want to be told it was over. But the difference is that Brodor is like, I got boned by my team because they didn't allow me to go out of my own terms. Medano was like, Madano had the single greatest, like, storybook ending of any, of any situation where he's like skating around in Minnesota in a North Star's jersey. Oh, his last game was in Minnesota? Yeah. And then he, didn't he like win the shootout or something that game to or some such?

Like there was some epic finale to his time in Dallas that would have been the perfect like finish like roll credits moment and then he decided to go to Detroit instead. But that was like back when Detroit was good. Like he was like, I can get a cup here. Yeah. And then they were like, well, listen, you're never going to play for us in the playoffs. You're basically David Legwond. You can't skate anymore.

I guess there was a certain sense of like I wish the Cedines could play for a cup again kind of deal. Yeah, like they weren't since 2012. They really weren't 2011. Jesus, 2011. Yeah. It was seven years ago. And, yeah. Time marches on, my friend.

Like we're all slowly dying. Remember back in the day when Brad Marchand was a irredeerable miscreant who was just punching Swedish guys in the face with no repercussions during the Stanley Cup final? Tim Thomas was interfering, cross-checking the Cedines in the chest as they were going for Luscox. Now Brad Marchand is a redeemable miscreant who is now just cross-checking guys in the face without any repercussions. All right. You ready? We said enough nice things by the Cedines. Ready? I find it odd that they are such a slam dunk for the Hall of Fame.

I'm not saying they shouldn't get in. But if you look at their numbers, it's not really, it's good. It's definitely, like, to me, like, if there was just one of them who had those stats, we wouldn't be talking about them so quickly for the Hall of Fame. But there's two of them that look alike. So it's like, that's awesome. Put them in at the same time. I just think that they're a Hall of Fame.

They're in the Hall of Fame as a duo if they wanted it. And Henrik's Deidine told me in the past. He doesn't want that to be the case. They want to go in individually. But they're going to go in the same year when they go in. They're not going to have like Daniel one year and then Henrik three years later. They're going to do the same year. So wait.

So in my mind, they go in as an entry. They're like one in one A at a horse race. Like two plaques? But you're like, one plaque, two faces on it? Like I feel like your, yeah, exactly. I think your description is actually kind of problematic because you can't, they have to be an entry. You can't look at them and be like they both get in because as individuals, they're not Hall of Famous. Yeah.

But like that's kind of, it's for the best player. not the two but that'd be like saying like um i don't even know what the equivalent would be where like just two guys play it together forever and like together like hauling oats for instance are both hall of famers right play together or not but like imagine if they play it together but they had like 70% of their stats and you were just like well they're hauling oats it sounds just like a band from the 80s we got to put them in together but that's just like it's like i i understand what you're saying do those teams it's individuals i understand what you're saying and i do find it ironic that like we're talking about them as a unit yet like neither one of them would

have ever gotten a sniff of the heart trophy were it not for the fact that the other one was injured during those years. One guy missed like 20 games over the year and they were like. Henrik won the year that Daniel only played a few like 60 or 50 games or something like that. Weird how the team situation affected who won the MVP that year. And nobody seemed to mind. If they go in on the same plaque, I'm for it.

If they go in as individuals, I'm not, I'm not really for it. Because they really don't have any playoff bona fides. If Henrik gets in and Daniel doesn't, I'm really for it. See, that would be funny. If they're just like, well, you played 30 fewer games and you had a few less points, so I'm sorry. You're not going to be in. That fucking call, it's like, the Hockey Hall of Fame welcomes Henrik Sedeen. Okay, folks, that's all.

No, it's going to be like, we welcome Daniel Sedeen and Henrik Zetterberg. Congratulations to both Swedes. They go into the same plaque. I'm flying with it. You know, someone mentioned this the other day on Twitter about the Sadiens, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I want to bring it up. Like, I also give them so much credit for dealing with all the horrid shit they had to deal with for the last 15, 20 years, whatever it's been.

Like, not only just creepy twin stuff, you know, but also the Sedeen sister shit and having the lead analyst for the National Hockey League's U.S. television rights holder called them Thelman Louise. Mike Milbury, see? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They're girls, see? Yeah. Yeah. They're not tough, see. Right. Hey, what's a great pop culture example I can use where they're not actually, you know, related and also their women.

Thelman Louise, look at those two. Not for nothing. I don't know if I've ever actually seen Thelman Louise, but don't they like fuck some shit up in that movie before they like take care of themselves? Yeah, that was another problem with Milbury's assholeish misogyny was that he picked, he basically picked Ripley from aliens. Right. And said, look at these two. Wimperoos, huh? They're actually Susan Serrano and Eugenia Davis blowing up gas stations and fucking.

and Brad Pitt. This Brock Bess are soft. He's like he's like atomic blonde. Wait, so you mean like he's done like hundreds of murders and like save people's lives? Like that that sounds pretty badass actually. You know? Just keep picking. Oh, look at Wonder Woman over here.

You mean like the strongest woman in the world who is completely a hero? Yeah, Brock Bess is a real black widow. Oh, God. I hate NBC. But I give the Sadeen's credit for like enduring all that shit. But like I feel like the mood. in Vancouver changed once they got to the Cup final because before that, you would

always mention them in the same breath as like Joe Thornton like terrible in the playoffs, never gets it done, soft and all that sort of stuff. And then they got to the game seven. They got abused for six games by Brad Marchand and Tim Thomas and everybody. And they would have won the Cup. I still say they would have won the cup that year if they weren't down to their like 14th

defenseman by game seven. Because they lost Aaron Rome, they lost Dan Ham Hughes, they lost, I want to say they lost Andrew Alberts, which I know isn't really good. But they were so decimated by injury in that series that they still made it seven games. That's the other thing, too, like whenever Crosby would get hit with the Cindy Crosby shit and the Cidines would get the Cidine sisters. Like, all these guys do is grind in the corner, like the entire career.

And like, yeah, too bad you can't catch them because they're real good and elusive. But it's not as if they're just like floating. The Cidings don't fucking float. You know, Cidna never floated. It's, ah, goddamn. It's just the worst. But, you know, it's all in the past now. It's U.S.

hockey. We all appreciate the Cidines for what they were. is creepy. No, they're not creepy. Yeah, they kind of were. I mean, they're not, like, creepy, like, as people or anything, but, like, it does seem weird that, like, they could never not play on the same line together. Like, I wonder how that hamstrings you as a coach where, like, yeah, these two work together

so amazingly well, so it makes sense to put them together. But, like, you know, like, the line's not going well. You can't split them up. Yeah, like, you can't do, like, a Crosby here, Malkin here, Kessel here thing with those guys because they have to play together. Right, like, they're two the best players in the team, but only together. They're unable. Right.

So, yeah. So you look at their career. numbers again, going back to the Hall of Fame, imagine if they had to play with, like, imagine, like, having to put, like, Daniel on Kessler's line and, like, Henrik Siddine with just Alex Burroughs. Like, what would they have done? Would they be, would they have been a better team with lesser numbers? That's a great point. Are the Siddines, in fact, selfish, Greg, for having to stay together all the time? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like, imagine if, like, Ovechkin had to constantly play with Malkin all the time, be like, oh, Russians can't play with other players.

That was the thing, like, the, I mean, Ovechkin and Baxter played together forever, then they didn't, and they had to go and play together again. Maybe they're the package. They might be the package deal. Like, how many, how many games has Ovechkin played with Baxter? And how many of those goals are Baxterum's, uh, the responsibility? Do you want to just leap ahead to the part now where you say Baxter sucks in the playoffs and nobody mentions it? Oh, she's fucking terrible in the playoffs and no one ever mentions it.

And Ovechkin, Ovechkin basically wins the Kahn Smyth every first round. But by the way, outside chance the capitals of penguins play in round one, based on on where they are in the standings right now. So, there's a chance Pittsburgh could drop to the first wild card. I don't think they will There is a chance I'm saying there's a chance I mean there's a chance

It is kind of bunched up Mm-hmm See I don't know the remaining schedules For the teams That's my problem Well Mikey Penguins We're not going through that again

Dog That's a wind dog Blue Jackets That's not a real team What's a blue jacket John Thororella I was talking to Parcells The other day

He's talking to Bill about Tots Yeah He said he's an enormously talented coach. So farewell to the Sadiens. I would put them on this two, two Swedes one plaque and put them in the Hall of Fame. Two Seeds, one plaque is like a video I think I saw on Porn Tube once. Porn tube. Is that a thing? Porn tube. Porn hub. Porn hub is what it is. Uh, you porn. You porn. Red tube. There's no porn tube. There, I mean, I'm assuming there is a porn tube. I have a business idea for Greg right now. What do you say we start a website called

Porn Tube? So, But it's just hockey highlights. Porn Hub is basically Uber. And then what's the other one that's really popular? Lift. The other porn site. Whatever the next one, X-Tube, let's say, is Lyft. Pornhub's the best one, right?

Yeah. You always see like their press releases come up. They have market dominance. They're the ones who talk about how many people after game seven in the final went and jerked off. Yeah. Their team lost. searches for sad Stanley Cup masturbation reached an all-time high on porn hub today.

Nashville lost in game six and then got spanking. It's always that. The Sadiens did nothing in game seven and the search for sweet-on-sweet S&M. My favorite ever, though, is that they do those things where it's like a game will go to overtime in the playoffs. And it's like in the gap between the third period and overtime, The city cranked it more than any other city in America. That's actually smart because you want to relax. You don't want to be all stressed out when the overtime starts.

Yeah, you don't want to be attention. I don't want to be a tension. I don't know if I could. If my team was in a playoff overtime, I don't know if I could necessarily concentrate. I was, I was thinking of the old Damon Wayne's bit where he was talking about how his son was like 13 or 14 and just started like jerking off.

And like, whenever something went wrong in the house, like he would always go to his room. He'd be like, spaghetti again. I'll be right back. go to his room and close the door. Like, that's what hockey fans got to start doing between periods. My point before is that there are those porn sites that are sort of, I guess, porn tube would be one of them, where you're walking in the street and then you see one of those Uber cars and it's like an Uber sign, a Lyft sign, and then it's like a bug with a taxi hat on. And you're like, what the fuck is that?

And there's so many, like, I don't understand. I trust Uber. I know what Uber is. Right. I have it on my phone. I know what Lyft is. I have that on my phone. who has like a wheelbug or fucking tax e but it's an e with a fucking line over it or some shit like what the fuck who's just using these maybe they're just super cheap i remember switching the lift and realizing how much cheaper lift was it's a lot cheaper yeah it's pretty great but yeah it's like one car like and that's why cabbies hate all these motherfuckers because like it's a one car it's like enough stickers where it's more stickers than a crunchy liberal has on their on their hybrid it's like all these stickers of these cars of these cars

car services and half of them might have them probably went defunct within two months of their release there is a um like a parking spot right out in front of my place where not even a parking spot it's like an illegal spot but like that's where all of the lift uber drivers come in sometimes you like you leave your place and there's like a guy sitting in his car reading a newspaper and you see like 19 different stickers for like lift uber drive balls road dog all this stuff and you just like and he always looks at you for a second like you no no i'm i'm okay thanks I'm your Uber I didn't order an Uber

I meant your lift I'm your road balls I don't order a road balls I'm your tax E and there's a line over the E Listen there's a lot of brands out there And you have to figure out which one's to trust But this is the brand that we trust

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We were all ready to book our flights this morning and my one idiot friend who I won't name on this podcast, who listens to this podcast. suddenly doesn't want to book yet. So looked up on Seatgeek, found some good cards, tickets in the off-field, it's expensive. St. Louis ain't cheap for a baseball game. But with Seat Geek, I can save $20 off of my purchase. You could do that. Also, when you're in St. Louis, you should definitely go to the Anheiser Brewery. Yeah, I kind of have to, right?

It's a fun tour, and they give you beer afterwards that's not, like, available. It's like a better Budweiser. Wait, really? I know that's a bit of an oxymoron. Interesting. Yeah. And then also I went to the Bigfoot Monster Truck Museum. Museum.

That was not the word I thought was going to end that. Well, you know, Dave. I'm nothing but cultured. This is, this 1974 monster truck model actually begets the 1972 model. All right. This was one of Renoir's later works. He called it Grave Digger. It actually led to the Dave Matthews song, Grave Digger.

When you dig his grave. You get to sit inside of one of the wheels of the big foot. It's kind of cool. Like the tire. You can take pictures in it and stuff. It's pretty cool. We did the Milwaukee trip. We did the Miller brewery.

It's pretty cool. I don't remember there being like special secret Miller beer though, but they made us watch a video. It was like when you go to like that Kodak thing and like Disney when they play the, I can see you're true. It was like that. For like beer. I'm sitting there for like 15 minutes. Wait, you went through like a, you went in a boat through water and saw dinosaurs and shit? No, it wasn't that good.

Okay. Dinosaurs aren't. What did you think of the masters banning dilly-dilly from. the gallery. Is it real? Was that like a real report? I think it was a real report. But like what are they going to do?

Like is it going to be like one of those things we have to tell on your fellow gallery member? Oh, this guy was like, like how loud does it have to be? I guess I guess what they're worried about is the Pavlovian response from men in the and women in the gallery. Galley or gallery? Gallery is a thing on a ship. Okay. It's not as if we're like, go tiger, make the, make the shot or whatever.

Like that's fun. But like when you go dilly-dilly, the Pavlovian response is everybody going, Dilly-Dilly in back of you. I disagree. It's all bad. Idiots who yell get in the hole after fucking T-shots on a par five. They should be in prison next to the Dilly-Dilly-Dilly. But what about people in the cheap part of the gallery who, when Tiger is about to make

his putter, like, shoot! So every sport has it. Golf has people that yell get in the hole. Hockey has shoot. Baseball has people that boo whenever someone throws over to first base. Basketball. What's the what's the? the equivalent in basketball.

There has to be one, right? Like, timeouts? People get mad when you call seven timeouts in the last 45 seconds? I don't know. But like, yeah. I think they're shooting basketball, too. Like, guys that are outside the arc, like, in three point range where, like, they have the ball. You're like, yeah. Put it up.

Put it up. It's probably shoot. They're probably a guys that you all shoot a basketball game. Oh, no, no. You know what the thing is in basketball? Oh, but this is it by fucking far. A guy drives to the hoop. Traveling! Traveling! Traveling steps! They don't, they don't, they don't,

it. What's fun to do is you look to the sidelines behind the bench and look for somebody doing the hand motion. I love looking for that. The second I see someone kind of travel on a basketball game, I go right up to the crowd and I find that one like 74 year old man fundamentally that Euro step is actually a third

step. Not going to do that in my gym. I got to admit though, like half the plays I see in basketball, I think it's all traveling and I get really excited when I actually see a traveling call. It's like seeing obstruction in the NHL. Like obstruction happens on every single play. When you actually see get called, you're like, oh, that's quaint.

Oh, look at that. I guess that guy had, like, the over-on power place tonight in Vegas. That's good today. Well, as you know, Dave, the rules in hockey have changed a lot over the years. They have. Everything in hockey has changed a lot over the years. But there's been one constant. What is it?

That'd be Stan Fishler, our guest today on Puck Suit. Stan Fishler is a poor man's... I don't know. What would be the equivalent? He's a poor man's redfish. He's a rich man's Don Cherry. All right. Here's Stan.

Stan Fishler. You were a hockey legend. How many years in the business for you? For money, I got paid for my first gig in 54 when I got out of college. I went to Brooklyn College. And my first gig was with the Rangers in publicity. We did not call it public relations. What did you call it?

Publicity. Publicity. Yeah, we were, my boss, Herb Goren, was a former writer for the New York Sun, which was an evening paper. He was baseball writer and a hockey writer and a Brooklyn guy like me. And it was a wonderful job because it was getting paid. The last time I paid to see a hockey game was 54. Wow.

It's funny to say that because Larry Brooks' origin story was in publicity too. He was the devil's media relations guy. I only know that because he was the guy who had to go on the air and talk about the Kuharski thing. when he was working for the team back in 88. I was there. It was pretty amazing. So the humble beginnings. I got paid for that job, and I loved it, and the team didn't make the playoffs.

We had a tough year. And, of course, in those days, you didn't stay with the team after the season. You were on furlough. And I was, well, that was. was okay with me because I wanted to come back. I loved it. And a couple of things I didn't like because my boss, Frank Boucher, who was the manager, got canned. And they brought in Phil Watson as the coach and Muz became the GM. So I was unhappy about that, but I was, you know, looking forward to coming back. And I got an offer to go to work for the New York Journal

American, which was Hearst evening flagship paper, and to do a column. But I still didn't want to leave hockey. And I sat down with my boss and he said, you've got to be crazy not to take this offer. You can still do hockey on the side, which I wound up doing for the hockey news. And that enabled me to go to the newspaper job, do other things. So it turned out to be a smart move that I listened to Herbie. Where did the nickname The Maven come from? I don't know the origin story.

It came from Herring. And the way it came from Herring was in around 1971, there was a very popular herring called V-A-Hering, V-I-T-A. Like the fish? Yeah, fish. What other kinds of herring? V-A-Hering sounds like a herring. Herring's a lot.

Vita Herring sounds like it's a, yeah, it helps it, you know, it gives you a pep. It's, it's like Campbell's soup. It was Vita Herring. Oh, got you. All right. And V-I-T-A. And they had a very clever radio commercial with an old vaudeville actor named, what the heck was in? Al Kelly, his real name was Kalish.

He was a Jewish guy from Williamsburg. In fact, his niece was in my class at Eastern District High School. I should have dated her, but I didn't. But, uh, what was, what was, what was the issue? Uh, Gwendolyn Schaefer got in between us. Oh, as, as she's known to him. Oh, Gwendolyn. And so, so what happened was he did this commercial where he, it was a Yiddish dialect.

And he was the herring maven. That was the whole deal. He was the herring maven. And it changed every week. He had something different. He was hilarious. You know, you didn't have to like herring to listen to this guy. So at that time there was a magazine called Hockey Illustrated

and a buddy of mine named Mal Goldfarb asked me to do a column which I said I would do and he says why don't you give yourself a title? I said well I love this herring maven why don't you call me the hockey maven and he says you're it and that's how it I have by the way I hated herring I still hate herring

the two things I hate are herring and can filter fish The Twilight Zone twist of the Maven story Wow. So hockey back then, hockey now. What's better? What was the better game? Because everyone says now, all the players today are so much better than they were back then. Well, it was like comparing Cadillacs with tangerines.

First of all, first of all, nobody wore a helmet. You didn't need a program when it was the 16th League. We knew everybody. We not only knew everybody. We knew what town they came from, guy like Fernie Flammon, Dysart, Saskatchew. The Bentley's, the Lilesus. We knew everything about these guys, and we knew what they look like.

That's number one. Everybody had a wooden stick that wasn't curved. It was a flat stick. Nobody took a slap shot, a real slap shot, until 1951, and boom, boom, Jefferion came along. And when he took a slap shot, we thought this was like somebody from Mars came down.

What is this? What is he doing, you know? and it was altogether different, and the thing is, the thing about it is that we loved it. We loved it. And now we love it for a different reason, but the whole point is, was it exciting? And it was exciting.

Is it exciting? Now, yeah, of course it's exciting. I was at the Idle game last night. I mean, what Barzell did at the end to save the islanders from another dreadful three-gole league, So, but it was completely different, completely different. And as I said, the body day, it was meaner. Yeah.

It was meaner. And the high sticking, which was very frequent, the high sticking was nasty. And of course, if Gordy Howe was playing now, he'd be in jail for, you know, of all the damage that he did. and I saw a lot of damage. I mean, I thought Ronnie Murphy of the Rangers was going to get killed or got killed when Bernie Jeffrey and Polaxed him. In fact, I was Vice President of Ranger Fan Club at the time,

and I sent a very bitter letter to President Clarence Campbell. Yeah. And saying that how can you penalize Ron Murphy who nearly got killed, and you're penalizing Murphy as well as Jeffreon, and he didn't answer me. So I wrote a second letter, and I said, I represent 500 two-paid members that arrange his fan club. You're obliged to answer me. And he was a Rhodes Scholar, Campbell.

He was also a former NHL referee, and he was also a hero in World War II. He was in battle, no kidding around battle. He's a tough guy. But he wrote me back. two pages two pages in road

scholars and if you took all the words and put them together he basically told me to forget about

it see this sounds like Twitter before Twitter existed somebody would yell at someone they didn't like

they would ignore them he yelled at them again yeah and then they would respond and just be like

leave me alone did you you mentioned Clarence Campbell where what are your feelings on Bettman

as a commissioner. We've had 25 years now the man. You've obviously seen different presidents before him before we had a commissioner. What do you think about him with regard to the job he's done? Well, there's two ways for me to look at Batman. One is on a personal basis, and personally, we got off to a very, very bad start. My relationship with him was awful because when he came along, you may remember that in 1994-95, which was half a season, the Devils just barely made the playoffs. And what happened was John McMullen was being offered a sweetheart deal to move the team to Nashville. Right, yeah. And like a lot of people who were with the team, we were worried about

the Devils go bye-bye. We ain't going to move to Nashville. And I have a lot of people. And I have a lot of people who were with the team, we were worried about the devils go by-bye. We ain't going to move to Nashville. And I had Betman on during the playoffs. And it was a very nasty interview because he was talking about, well, New York City doesn't need three teams, just like it did need three baseball teams. And

he was unhappy about it. And I remember when they won the cup, he was still not to plays with it. But over the years, we kind of got close, very close, as a matter of fact. On the business side, he's seen the league grow to now 31 teams. He got serious about the hooking and this and that and whatever they.

And it's become a fast game, and now we've got a lot of stars. And the bottom line is that it's very exciting. and they're going to have a team in Seattle, and these guys are going to pay $650 million. Yeah, that's it. And crazy. It's crazy stuff. Did it take you a while to accept him as, I mean,

I imagine every other president that they've had in the league during your time was a hockey guy. You know, was it difficult to accept him as a basketball executive coming into the league and being the head of the NHL? Absolutely. At the beginning, it really, stuck in my craw because what they were trying to do was first get David Stern. They wanted the best of the best from the NBA. Stern wasn't leaving his second in command.

They went after also. Betman was the third choice. And the second guy turned it down. I forgot his name. And then, of course, Batman took it. But I almost went to work for him. Oh, yeah. Doing what? Huh? Doing what? Well, my cousin Ira was very close to Stern. And of course, Stern and Bettman were tight.

And my cousin Ira said, you know, I can get Batman to interview you for a job. And he went to Stern and Stern called Batman and Bettman and Bettman interviewed me. And what he was going to do then, he was going to have three vice presidents. He's going to have a vice president of PR. Then he was going to have a vice president on the business side. And then there was going to be the third VP, which was going to be me, which was untitled. Really? Really? Yeah.

They didn't know what the heck they wanted to do with me. And in the meantime, you know, my wife wanted me to take the job. My older guy, Ben, wanted me to take the job. But the bottom line was my gut. Didn't want me to take the job. Right. And I wound up not taking the job and... It all worked out, I guess.

Yeah. You found it okay around. Yeah, it's a bit pretty good run. Oh, I thought you're going to go next. No, I was more curious about the whole past current hockey and maybe like interviewing players. Was it different back then, as opposed to now where you're in front of the locker one-on-one and there's cameras? Tangeries and Cadillacs again. It was very simple.

Here's what happened. He ended a game. as at the old garden. Okay, I'm talking about... Pre-68. I'm talking about the 40s and 50s. And I guess early 60s. Early 60s, too.

The game is over. You go into the dressing room, unless it's the Canadians, and Toe Blake is pissed off at what happened, whatever. So you go into the dressing room, and there are 17 guys sitting around on their, you know, in front of their locker,

and you went over to any guy you wanted to go over. Now, occasionally, there was a guy who didn't want to be interviewed. So what he would do is that he would hide in the shower. Right. But how long can you stay in the shower before you wilt, you see? So eventually he came out. So you could interview anybody you wanted as long as you wanted. And that's the way it was.

And there was no press room. There's no press room. So the coach would be available. And occasionally, I remember when Bill Jennings was president of the Rangers and Phil Goyette, was speared by Ted Green of the Bruins and he nearly killed him. It was two Rangers nearly got killed by Spears. One was Red Sullivan when he was with the Rangers by Doug Harvey. And this was later, this was Goyette from Tears.

Ted Green. And I remember I was with the journal and I was furious. You know, I mean, I was, you know, you're covering the Rangers. I'm rooting for the Rangers. Hated the Bruins. We always hated the Bruins. I'm not kidding.

For a lot of good reasons. I remember when they were neck and neck for the playoffs and Milton Schmidt broke the ankle of Edgar LaProd, who was our best center about 53. So he's gone in the last couple of weeks, and they get in.

It was always hate the Bruins. So Goyette is in the hospital. He didn't know what was going to happen to him. And there's Bill Jennings, the president. And Jennings was like me. He was a very passionate guy. And I go over to him. I was the only guy there who went over to him.

And I said, Bill, what are you going to do about this? And Goyette, you know, we don't know what's going to have. What are you going to do about Green? He said, Green is a wild animal. And what do you do with a white animal? Wild animal, you put a bounty on his head. And the league has to put a bounty on. Ted Green, I'm going to call up Campbell tomorrow.

And that was my headline. That was my headline the next day. Had a scoop. Huckie was the best. And then I called up Green the next day. And you know the two words he said that began with F and began with Y? and I was on the blacklist of the Bruins. Ah, because you wrote the story.

Well, I wrote the story, and not only that, later on, when I did Derek Sanderson's book, I've got to be me. I had to go into the Bruins room to set up the interview with Derek, and the press agent, Herb Rolby would not let me in the room. Wow. I said, why? I want to talk to Sanders. He said, I can't let you.

And I said, why? He said, because I can't vouch for you. your safety. Oh, shit. That's what he said. That's what he said, because of green and the other guys. So it was different. It was different.

Now, the PR guys handle the whole thing. You know, it's, and you're lucky if four guys are around. Do you think it hurts, do you think it hurts having all the hockey players today? What? Do you think it hurts to have all the hockey players today, have media training, and they're polished and they know what to say and what not to say? Is it better for the game if players are all just unfilts? or like maybe they used to be back in the day?

Of course it was. It was because they were natural. It was interesting because when the Rangers, Rangers had a wonderful team. They won the Cup in 40. They finished first in 42. And then all their best players

go into the Army. I mean, every team had players go into the armed forces, but the Rangers had more than any of the teams. And so when they war ended, they had a very tough time. I mean, they got, during the war, they got beat one game 15th to nothing by Detroit.

It was incredible. But my point was, the Rangers were carried on the radio, and at the end of the game, Ward Wilson, who was the color commentator, he would go into the dressing room and interview these guys. Even when they lost, you know,

and these guys were really, they were very human, a very natural about it was, I mean, who knew from agents? They didn't have agents. They didn't have, they were themselves, and that was it. I mean, they were getting, I think the highest paid ranger at that time would have been probably Charlie Rayner the goalie. And Charlie, if he was getting 15 grand, he was getting a lot. Yeah, I was, I was seen a lot about you in the last year because, or the last year, I should say,

because of the centennial celebration. And I've seen you pipe up a couple times and say that when we praise modern players within the context of the modern game, like, how do you compare that with players that I think have been somewhat diminished and ignored when it comes to the top 100 players of all time? How do you feel about that, the sort of recency bias or overpraise of more recent players versus some of the guys that might have been amazing in their day, but because of, you know, the way that life works and media works, we forget about them. Well, to a certain extent, I resent it, but I also understand it. Now, there was a famous radio show called Baron Munchausen,

not connected with the movie. And the guy who played it had a standard line that he used every show. It was Vassi. you dare Charlie? Were you there, Charlie? Now, I can't talk about Eddie Shaw, because I never saw this guy play. I can't talk about Howie Morens. I can talk about the guys that I saw. Right. So if I started watching hockey in 1939, I can talk about guys who weren't, you know, who today don't know what the heck I'm talking about. They know who Sugar Jim Henry was. They don't know who Sugar Jim Henry was,

so on and so forth. And the point is, one of the greatest centers of all time was on the Stanley Cup winning Rangers in 28. He was on the Stanley Cup Rangers

in 1933. He coached them to the Cup in 1940. Frank Boucher, his banner should be up. Yeah. It's not. The Rangers are pretty slow

about that sort of stuff. The Rangers are really slow when it comes to putting banners up. I don't know how the mechanics work, but the point is none of these guys, well, I didn't even see Boucher play, but I mean, I've read enough about him, and he was my boss, and I did an oral history with him, and I know that he was the star in 28. He was the star in 33. He played on one of the greatest lines in history, centering Bill and Bun Cook.

And he probably saved the guy's life because one of the great stick fights, I think it was 31. It was Bill Cook and Nels Cushfield, who was a rookie on the Canadians. That's a good name. Cushfield, right? And he was one of the rare guys who came out of college. I think he went to McGill. Anyhow, he and Bill Cook had this stick fight, and Cushfield hit Cook so hard on the head. he was knocked that.

He was a tough guy, Bill Cook, and he was out flat, you see. It looked like he was dead. And Bun, his brother, was coming across to kill Crutchfield, and Bouchet saw what was going to be happening, what Bun was going to do, and he stuck his foot out, and he tripped him before he could kill Crutchfield. So, you know, so he saved this guy's life. But the point is that I understand these guys, you know, they write about, they're writing about the guys they know.

So it ain't the end of the world. Right. But I like how you say he was going over there to kill him. You don't mean that metaphorically back then. He might have actually killed him. Right. Like that was hockey. Well, yeah, because in those days it was still a frontier game.

Yeah. And, I mean, I remember when I was going to the games, there were only. three really prominent referees. There was Bill Chadwick, New York guy, whom remarkably, and people can't believe this, he had only one eye. Did you know that?

One eye? So like he was a lot of... He lost an eye playing hockey. Yeah. He was a good play. He would have been... He would have wound up on the Rangers. He lost an eye. So Bed Chadrick is one eye. He's in the Hall of Fame. Great referee. Then there was

King Clancy. He was a great star with the Maple Leafs. Well, Chadwick was interesting because he never wanted to be known as favoring the Rangers because he's from New York, so he leaned the other way against doing any favors for the Rangers. King Clancy came out of the Gas House gang Maple Leafs, and they were always fighting. So he liked fights. He liked to let them fight. Right. In fact, one of the greatest fights of all time, Black Jack Stewart against Johnny Mariucci, Stuart, Detroit. His name. James. Such great names.

Now we have guys named Miko. Blackjack. Blackjack. Can you imagine, can you... Glenn Sonmore, in his book, Old Time Hockey, said this fight lasted 20 minutes. It couldn't have lasted 20 minutes. But everybody I know who was there said it was 15 minutes

because it was on the ice. Then they used to sit next to each other in the penalty box. So these guys ain't going to sit next to each other. So they're fighting in the penalty box. Of course not. Then they're going down to come. corridor fighting, then they come back on the ice fighting. It's like at the end of Blazing Saddles.

Yeah, as I say, it just keeps going on and on until they get out to the parking lot, they get out to Penn Station. Do you mean, fighting, the last time I checked the numbers, fighting is going to be, there's going to be less than 20% of games this season with a fight, which is the lowest total in recorded history, I think, for the NHL. Do you, do you miss it? Of course I missed it. I was raised on fights. What I resented were the phony fights, you know, two goons. saying, let's go, because that's the only way they can earn dough. I'm talking about legit fights.

Legit fights in the old days was, first of all, you only had one referee. Right. And second of all, like I said, it was a frontier thing. So if one guy got creamed illegally, he's going to get even. Also, stick fights happened. Yeah, well, one of the great, the greatest stick fight that I know of, seriously, was not in the NHL. It was in the Western League.

Uh-huh. and it was two guys who came up to the NHL. It was Jack Evans at the Rangers, Tex Evans, was with Saskatoon, and Larry Zidl, who was one of the toughest defensemen, Jewish defensemen, who was with Edmonton. So Zidl was with the Red Wings Farm Team and Jack Evans was the Rangers' farm team,

and they had this stick fight in Edmonton, and they broke the sticks over each other's head, and then with the jagged ends of the... Stich. They went after each other. Like the Joker's henchmen? They're just breaking pool cues and just going at it? I have a picture of Zidl that Larry gave me what was in the Edmonton Journal the next day, because he's

wearing a suit and a tie now looking great, and it had all the marks from the stick fight, all, you know, the stitches here, there and everywhere on his head. And it was a great caption. They were describing the fight. the fight and this and at the bottom it said and Larry said to our photographer

you should see the other guy. My God, man. All right. It says we wind it down, Stan. Your career has been incredible. What would you say, if you had to pick one, what your favorite moment was? A favorite moment you were able to be part of something you were able to write maybe or accomplish

maybe or just be part of the atmosphere for something. Well, this is very, you'll find it unusual. First of all, I was still a fan. I was a Ranger fan. Are you still a fan now, though, or no? Of course I'm a fan. Every game I go to, it's like Finian's Rainbow. There's a song from Finian's Rainbow that says everything about me at a hockey game.

And the song was, when I'm not near the girl, I love, I love the girl, I'm near. So if I'm doing an islander game, I'm rooting for the Islanders, I'm doing the Rangers because I want to go down to the room where they're happy. Right. Okay. So I'm a Ranger fan. It's the 53-54 season.

I had been a Leaf fan for 10 years from 42 to 52. This is now 53-54. My favorite play was Max Bentley of the Leafs, Hall of Fame, the best. And Max played with his brother Doug from 39 to November 47. And this is the greatest hockey trade of all time. The Maple Leafs traded five guys of whole forward line. That was so good it had a name. Forward lines didn't have names as they were good.

And this was the flying forts. Gays Stewart, Bud Poyle, Gus Bodner, all from Fort William, Ontario, now Thunder Bay, where the stalls come from. And two defensemen, Ernie Dickens, and Bob Golden. Goldman's this short of the Hall of Fame, the first real puck-barking defenseman. Ernie Dickens was under 42 cup winning leaves. Five guys for Max Bentley. And you know what happened? What? Toronto with Bentley won the cup in 47, 48, 48, 49, and 50-51. He won three cups and the poor black dogs with these five guys won Gornish, nothing. But what's my point?

My point is Max was separated from Doug. Yeah, like a Sidney. The father, Bill, said they never should have done the thing, whatever, whatever. But so now Max's career is ending and the Rangers pick him up. 53, 54. He teaches Camille Henry how to work the power play. and Max is at one point and Camille's at the other. Camille wins the call the trophy as only playing on the power play.

Whoa. 24 goals as a power play specialist. Like a mark on. Not only that year. Only after that he, yeah. So anyhow, Max is, you know, toward the end and the Rangers, Frank Boucher is desperately trying to get Doug to come and play with Max again. the player coach of the Saskatoon team, the Quakers.

That's the same team that Doug Jack Evans was the stick fight. So he's pleading with Doug and Doug is saying, no, no, no, no, no. And Max wants him to come. And finally, in January 54, where by the way, the Rangers are neck and neck with the Bruins for the coveted fourth place to make the players, finally Doug agrees to come it's a hell of a story. We're all excited, and he had to fly from Saskatoon to St. Paul, from St. Paul to Chicago, from Chicago to New York, and he comes to the garden at four in the afternoon.

He hasn't worked out with the team or anything. And now they put, and of course, we're all excited, and it was the only time I ever sat in the first row of the side balcony, which was a phenomenal seat. First two rows of the side balcony were fantastic. Third row on, you couldn't see the boards because of the way they built that stupid thing. Anyhow, so it's the only time I ever sat in the first row and I bought my friend, my friend Harvey who went to high school with me,

he never went to a hockey game. Never went to a hockey. He was in Brooklyn College with me. He was a basketball guy. He was his first hockey game. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but, you know. And so now the game unfolds and you, it was unbelievable. The Bentley's with Edgar LaProdd, who they also came in, the three of them, it was like the puck was attached to an invisible string.

Ah, unbelievable goals. It was like old times. What's my point? Why was it so great? Well, the Rangers won eight three. Wow, yeah. Lousy Bruins, we hated them still. and I told you we were neck and neck with them

and Doug Max with Edgar all the goals between them and at the end of the game it was the only time at the end of a hockey game I was weeping I was crying because how beautiful it was

exactly wow but the Bruins I thought maybe you bet the Bruins I think maybe you bet the Bruins and you it was just such a beautiful thing to see these guys I was crying. The next day I pick up the paper

and a guy interviewed Max Bentley after the game. Tim Moriati interviewed Max Bentley and Max is in the dressing. I'm crying. Wow. He says, why are you crying, Max? He says, I'm crying from happiness.

Oh. Because he's back with Doug. Oh. And I'm telling you, telling you guys, this story, I'm almost crying because of what, that whole scene, the game, they're so great together.

And to me, that was my, the best moment I ever had. It's what hockey can do. It's like a great pop song. It's like a perfect moment in a movie. It's like those little moments where it just, it all comes together and you're just like, you're struck emotionally. And maybe you can't explain it to other

people who don't quite understand it, but it's what it does. But somebody else interviewed, if you, on the other side of the dressing room. It might have been Dave Anderson. I'm not sure. Anyhow, I was interviewing Doug, and the guy says, what's going on here?

Why is Max crying? He says, he's so happy that we're doing these things together. He says, I couldn't believe what we were going to do. He never practically, you know, he came in, he sits down, he puts on the uniform.

He said, I couldn't believe what we were doing. It was like, he said, he's crying. Because it's like old times. Well, now we're going to cry. Stan, thank you so much for everything you've given us as hockey fans. Dave and I, in full disclosure, watch you all we grew up. Yeah.

Oh, I want to tell you real quick before you go. My favorite Stan story was nothing you did on TV. It was the 2003 Stanley Cup Final, Devils, Ducks, Game 7. And me and a friend were in the parking lot tailgating. And suddenly my friend goes, I think that's Stan over there. And I'm looking around for like a camera, microphone. I don't see anything. He's like, no, the other way.

And you were riding your bike around the parking lot. And all the fans that saw you ride were just waving. It was like a parade for Stan. You were the only person there, and it was just everybody loving seeing you. It was just so weird. I was like a fan who only saw you on TV to see you in real life on a bike. People were trying to give you beers. They were like, Stan, Stan.

I still have that bike. Do you really? If it wasn't raining, I would have taken the bike down here. I was going to take the bike there because I love riding around the city. So how would you get the bike to? the jersey. You just put it on your car. I don't remember how it was, but it was easy because we had a bike rack

on the car. But that was a wonderful series because it went seven. You ride at the Giant Stadium, then you ride it over the pedestrian bridge from Giant Stadium to the arena. It was like there's Stan right. It was like Stan has the greatest job in the world.

Stan, you're the absolute best for doing this dumb podcast, and we thank you for all of the work you've given and time you've given to this game of hockey. You're the best, man. I mean this wasn't the rehearsal? All right, time to record. Is that good? Thank you, Stan.

Our thanks to Stan Fishler. Our thanks to MSG Network. You can watch MSG Network this week for a bunch of stuff regarding Stan and his life in the biz, as they say it. The biz. Stan is, of course, a man has a very stylish and stately bit of facial hair unlike you who looks practically unkempt. today.

It's great. I haven't shade in like a week. It's fantastic. Someone asked me about like growing a playoff beard and I had to inform them once again that I have gaps on my face. Did you know that? I have gaps from my sideburn to maybe like right here about, I would say about an inch and a half under the ear.

So I could do like a like a like a Andrew Sullivan type beard where it's just like real bushy in the front but it doesn't actually connect anywhere. You should do that. I don't want to do that. Absolutely. And shave your head, too, so it's like more emphasized. That's what I mean. Yeah.

I can grow what I would affectionately refer to as the medieval executioner beard. Yes. You'd be like the guy in Ragnarok, who's like the assistant to my lady. Right. Yeah. To beautiful. Cape Blanchette. Hella. Hella.

Hella. Hella. Yeah. Hela would indicate she's a giant lizard. But Stan has a beautiful beard. You have an okay beard. I can't grow a beard. But you know what?

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Visit Jfmbestbeard.com. Use the promo code best beard 25 to get 25% off your purchase. Jfm best beard.com promo code best beard 25 to get 25% off your purchase. Put your best beard forward with Just for Men. Speaking of Beards, Ready Player 1 came out recently. As of this podcast, I've yet to see it. I'm seeing it soon. You chastised me for making time to go see a movie about white people who dive into virtual reality

to them become the Iron Giant, whilst I waited months to see Black. Panther. Wait, the plot of Ready Player 1 is the winner. Yeah. Our producer's phone just made a little giggly noise. Like it was a tie, like a baby was on it. It was like I have a studio audience all of a sudden. But you, so wait, yeah.

The plot of Waiting Player 1 is that. The plot is to become the Iron Giant. That's how you win is become the Iron Giant. You go into virtual reality. You can play as different characters. That's the whole point of it. Wait, and are all the characters, Spielberg-based, nostalgic characters? No.

There are characters from all across pop culture except for like Star. Wars, which is hilarious. George, do you mind if I... No, I don't think you should use them actually. Well, what if I could just use the Millennium? No, I think it's fine if it's not in your movie. But George, you don't even have the rights anymore. Maybe I do.

Maybe I don't. Finally, he made a good decision involving Star Wars. What about for Indiana Jones 5? Indiana Jones is going after, oh, I don't know, the original Yoda puppet. Wouldn't that be amazing? Let's name the bad guy. Terror jobo Terrible

Why if the whole plot is like that movie fanboys Where he has to break into the Lucasfilm Ranch and steal the original Yoda puppet But the Nazis are after him too I saw that Wikipedia page with all the references I'm like I'm never gonna watch There's certain movies like the post I kind of wanted to go see it before the Oscars

But I knew I wasn't gonna I'll absolutely watch it when it's on HBO I will never watch Ready Player 1 I hate the post the same all those newspaper references in the post you know oh where are you from i'm from cincinnati oh so you're a bit of the Cincinnati inquirer like all these newspaper references all over the place we're running out of time specune to get the job done my thermometer broke well there's some san jose mercury news I hate it's true a self-referential I have an inside source in Seattle who's an intelligentser that can give me information I'm all out of weird newspaper names

I just finished the marathon I set a Bergen record that's a little jersey deep cut for you all right listen in honor of Ready Player 1 coming out Lozo and I figured we'd give you our top five Spielberg movies this is a bit that we stole from

Sean Fennesse's podcast on the ringer where they did their top five as well but I was inspired by it it was a good conversation inspired Bill Simmons came on and said my favorite Spielberg movie is Blue Chips They're like, but he didn't do blue chips

But whatever, it was fucking great He actually read the script for Teen Wolf Before Teen Wolf became a movie So I think he should get some credit for that too But he didn't Like he had nothing to do with blue chips If he didn't have anything to do with blue chips How is Anthony Hardaway so good in that movie?

It's like a little filly in your bills on it Your movie Number five for me in the South Five Spielberg movies is Catch Me If You Can. I think Catch Me If You Can is like a perfect sort of light caper movie. It's the best, it's the most charismatic DiCaprio's ever been and will ever be. And I just really loved it. I thought, I mean, Hanks is great in it.

The plot's great in it. It's, it's, it's a, I love it because it's kind of a change up. Like, I don't, Spielberg's never made a movie close to that type of, maybe the terminal was supposed to sort of be sort of that, but I hated the terminal. and you know 1941 was a disaster like he'll never make a good comedy but as far as it being a light funny movie that's also a bit of a caper and it's got great music and it's got great performances i think i put that just ahead of close encounters from my number five your mother left me she's gone the government's coming from my house two mice fall on a bucket of cream yeah your son owes uh 1.4 million dollars to the like like if the if the fbi agent in real life actually had a boston accent find but like if Tom Hanks can't do one, you shouldn't make him do one for two hours. It's also, though, a flick that I think suffers from, and it's funny because I think the best ending to any movie he's ever done is close encounters. Like the entire movie sort of rests on the end of that movie. I forget how that ends.

Where they go to the place in Devil's Tower and the aliens actually show up. They play the music or stuff. Do they get on the ship? Yeah, he gets on the ship. But like that entire like 20-minute sequence is like the best part of that flick. Catch me if you can is sort of like Latter-day Spielberg where almost every movie had a shitty ending. Monartary Report, War of the Worlds, all this shit, shitty endings. That's all right.

So that's your five. That's my number five, yeah. All right. My number five, despite what I said while we were waiting to come in here because I realized I had Jaws on here twice and didn't notice it just right now. Number five, Jaws. Number four, Jaws. Number three, Jaws.

I typed six movies into my notes and I had Jaws there twice and didn't notice it until an hour later. But number five is E.T. Because, like, that was my sort of, like, close encounters. I never got into it as a kid. I don't know if it was like too heavy for me. It's got some real slow parts to it. But like E.T. was like, you know, like you're a kid and like, you know, how cool would it be to have like an alien friend?

Right. You know, the story's good. The government comes in. It's anti-government. God, I love that. Yeah. Peter Coyote's in the movie. Kind of love Peter Coyote.

And then also. The bikes. It introduced the world to Drew Barrymore. And it also was the template on which all the other 1980s and early 90s movies were built, like Mac and Me, little monsters. with Howie Mandel, all these inferior copies of the ET formula of you find a fantastic creature in your suburban house and become best friends with it. That really has how movies work. Yep. They make one good one.

Like, think about it. They made Fast and the Furious. Then they took the kid from, not the kid, but the guy from Breaking Bad and put him in a car movie. Yeah, what's his face? Aaron. Aaron. Paul. Yeah.

Paul, yeah. Like they made that car movie. There's another one too. But like, yeah, that's just how it is. But ET, like, E.T. I feel like E.T. if you're 23 right now and watch it, it doesn't hold up for you because it's I watched it to

Vivian, who's seven, and she liked it. I mean, I didn't show her the whole thing. We kind of caught it unfortunately, right? Where E.T.'s like, they find him in that gully, and he's like, fucking gray. So I'm like, okay, here's what happened. I have to fill you in on a lot of details here about how we got to this part. But then

she liked it, and she liked the bikes and everything, too. So I think for kids it works, but I understand how it might seem hokey now a little bit. Right. But yeah, it's number four for me. So I'll just get that out of the way that I think it's still a magical flick. And seeing it through the eyes of my child has certainly opened my eyes to how potent it's slur remains. So like she didn't know that like E.T. was basically dying there because of the heart light and the lack of the connection.

Turn on your hot light. I'm like, look at it shine. Where is? There's a lot of Batman environmental life. But what is he? I'm like, he's an alien. And then the, well, what's happened? Let it be a happy glow for all the world to see.

What's happened to the boy? I'm just like, all right. My four is Raiders of the Lost Ark. Woof. How fucking dare you woof my Raiders of the Lost Ark? I'm woofing that because I don't know how it fucking ended up number four on your list. Because there's... Spoiler.

Yeah. Oh, you're saying it should be higher. Oh, that's fair. Spielberg has a lot of great movies. There's a lot of difference in tone and style and content and all the movies. And Raiders was like the first cool, like, adventure movie I remember seeing as a kid. Good comedy in it. The whole story behind him shooting the guy with the guy with the...

You honestly don't have to defend Raiders of the Lawfare. It sounds like you woofed. A woof triggers my defense mechanism. You need to defend the other three fucking movies ahead of it. Oh, no problem. But not the one you just picked. Number three for me is Jurassic Park, which I think is just a perfect summer popcorn entertainment movie. It is a movie that like revisiting it when it was released a couple of years ago under the name Jurassic World.

No, I'm kidding. When it was released a couple of years ago on it. It was called Jurassic Park, A New Hope. No, A New Hope was the original one. It was... The Jurassic Awakens. The Jurassic Awakens. The Dinosaurs Awakens.

It just holds up, man. It holds up because the CGI is still pretty good, and the practical effects with the Raptors and stuff are still great. And it's one of those flicks like Star Wars, where you go back and watch it, you're like, how many of these fucking moments have been, like, completely woven into pop culture now? You know, clever girl and...

And, you know, when he's about to shoot the Raptor and then the other Raptor's head comes out of the woods and he realizes that they set a trap for him, the hunter guy. Oh. He's like, clever girl. And, and, uh, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word. And, like, all the Newman shit in the movie and, and obviously all the fucking Goldblum stuff. And, like, Samuel Jackson needs to swear more for it to be a better movie, I think. Samuel Jackson's the best at cursing. He doesn't.

He does not. He does not. It's fucking great. and works on every level and it's my number three. Number three, saving private Ryan. Oh, fuck, I forgot about that. Make that number five.

Jesus. This guy sprung this on me when he got here today. He's like, we should do the top five movies. Yeah, it's number five for me. Although, I have to say that there are, like, the first 20 minutes of that movie are the best thing he's ever done. But then there's some parts of that movie that are also sort of meandering. Oh, well, I mean, they are, they are meandering.

They are enandering. Army andering. Army andering. Through the German countryside. It's good. It's a really good movie. It's the best war movie maybe ever made. Probably.

So I'm going to go with that as number three. Yeah, that's my number five now. Number two is Jaws. Yeah, that's my two. I mean, I mean, perfect on every way. It's funny. Like, I was thinking about, like, what impact that movie would have had.

Because neither of us were, like, alive, I think, in 75. No. Surprisingly for me. I was not alive in 75. Close. But no. Like, can you imagine that movie coming out? People don't know how they did the shark and like going to the beach that summer.

Like seeing your kids going in the water after seeing like kids get munched by a fucking mechanical shark in that movie? Yeah, don't show Vivian that movie. No, no, no. She won't take a fucking bath if I show her that movie, let alone go in the water. It's bad enough now. Whenever she sees a well, she's going to be freaked out because of you. Don't, don't ruin the summer for her too, man. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, it's awesome. So that was your number two as well. I'm curious just to what your number one is. Why would you be curious? Raiders is the Lost Dark. I kind of mentioned that before. I forgot you bumped out the other one. Absolutely.

What did you bump out? You bumped out of whatever your five was. Catch me if you can't. Raiders is, I mean, words can't describe how great it is. Every single moment in that movie, every single segment of that movie, there isn't a fucking false note in the entire movie. The end is awesome with the Nazis melt in their faces off and shit. Karen Allen's great.

Harrison Ford's never more charismatic. a monkey eats a date and dies. That's great too. The well of souls, the snakes. Fucking everything in that movie works. There's me, Andrew. And it redefines, it comes close to Star Wars insofar as like the overall entertainment of it from start to finish. Here we go.

But Raiders is without question the best movie he's ever done. It's never to be matched. I think everyone thinks my number one's going to be Jurassic Park. Hold on. So you've done, it's not going to be Jurassic Park. You just gave that away. Yeah. You've done Jaws.

Jaws. J. Jaws. J. J.D. Rators. You've done E.T. Private Ryan. So your number one is not close encounter.

So you said it's not going to be that. So your number one is going to be either Schindler's List or Minority Report. Nope. Oh, what is it? Munich. Munich. Munich kicks fucking ass. That movie is fantastic.

Eric Banna's brilliant. His whole journey from the beginning to the end of that movie and everything that happens and how they sort of said it with the idea with 9-11 happening right around four years earlier. Spielberg's best movie. It's not even close. Not even close. Even with the...

No mechanical dinosaurs. Even with, you know, the sex the sex scene where he's thinking back to the slaughter of his friends. Right. That's the jerk... See, I was thinking about this the other day. Have you seen the TV show Barry yet on HBO? Not yet.

There's something weird today because Prestige TV has broken everyone's brains where they feel like comedies now, half-hour comedies. Characters have to go on these fucking journeys of like discovery and we have to like explore human psyche and all this shit just make me laugh for 30 minutes i don't care about barry's internal stuff but in a movie like munich a two-hour you know drama you want that arc you want that development and how he deals with the scene the scene where they try to blow up the guy and like the daughter comes back like

that's fucking great that's a great it's a it's a really good i wouldn't i'd venture to say it wouldn't be in my top 10 but i think it's really good and i don't know how it could possibly be better than Raiders. Wait, so that means Jurassic Park's not in your top five. But you love Jurassic Park. Do I? Don't you, though? Not really.

Why? It's fine. It's an action movie. It's okay. All right. Well, if you want to send us your top five Spielberg movies, let it be known that you probably won't have a character count to do so. But you can try, and you can hit us at Puck Soup podcast on Twitter with your top

five Spielberg movies. I hate how fucking unfuny Barry is. Like, I just, like, the funniest TV shows the last, like, 20 years are Seinfeld. It's always sunny and Veep. And all those shows have characters where you don't care if they grow or change or anything. It's just jokes for 30 minutes. I miss that. So do you blame Louis for that?

Like was Louis the one who changed the game and made every comedian have to create their dramatic comedy, introspective, artsy-farty shit? But like, like, Louis wasn't always like that. Like, he had a couple episodes, the one where he goes to find his dad in Boston and, like, he gets on a boat at the end. Like, I remember watching that and being like, what the fuck was this? There was an entire segment of like meeting a guy in an elevator. Like there was a lot of artistic. There was. Junior League Woody Allen shit that happened in that.

But like that artistic stuff, like I felt like he always wanted you to kind of laugh at like the scenario. We're like, I don't know. Like I, again, Barry is like a well written show and I get it. But like all the insider like laughing at actor stuff. See, that's the part that makes me worry. I haven't seen it yet. I imagine it's going to be like gross point blank except he's an actor. It's very much.

It's not though. Like it's it kind of is. You're saying it should be. It's. But, right, like, gross point blank is sort of the same thing. He's a hitman and he wants to get off the get out of the game or whatever. But, like, gross point blank is actually, there's jokes. Like, no one knows how to do dark comedy anymore, man.

Like, in Bruges is a dark comedy. That's funny every five minutes. Well, wasn't the three billboards supposed to be a dark comedy? It's fucking dark. That's for sure. I fucking blacked out with anger 20 minutes in. Speaking of dark comedy, let's talk about the NHL Awards real quick. I know.

I'm sorry. Number one, my MVP is gold tender interference. It's been the story of the year. It's changed the outcome of games. I released my NHL Awards predictions of what I think will be nominated, who I think will be nominated. And maybe what? I don't know. Maybe like a fucking Cthulhu will be nominated.

Who just to say? But like Norris trophy is interesting because I think it's had been Dowdy. And I think it's going to be Klingberg, but I hope it's Suban. Like Suban should win the Norris. I haven't thought about the Norris. I don't really have any. Yeah. It's of an interesting field, only because Suban has this.

amazing thing where he has an impressive point total. He's starting a ridiculous majority of his shifts in the defensive zone, and he's been dragging around Alex Amalin all year. Like, he's got a chance at it. But he's sort of like, you know how like every analytics guy is like rallying around the fucking Tom Foolery of McDavid because it's fun to show the numbers and show the work and say this is why this guy should win and buck the popular trends? Like I wish they would channel that energy for Suban because he's the one who needs the boost

right now. Yeah, it's not going to be cling to. ticket over headman headman headman's the guy is going to win it but it should be suban i just i i fear the dowdy people the the dowdy people found a way to steal one from eric carlson he they can steal one from victor and the irony is like he actually is this season's deserving of it the one the carlson one was a fucking joke that was like yeah like hey his turn this year big boy hockey yeah big boy hockey they say on october first and then lo and behold he wins the award a year later um so like i i hope suban gets it. The Selky is the same way.

I feel like Bergeron's going to win it, even though he might not have the work rate that he should have this year. Domest award. But like, Coturier should win it. Cotterier put a bunch of a bunch of fucking great numbers and played great defensively. You know what's funny about Gutierreier is having, like, he's having his career year

offensively, and like the two things I'm going to think about this year are Sidney Crosby and John Tavares is turning him fucking inside out for goals. Yeah. You know, I know it's just two plays out of like 82 games. Do you know what I find Curier's about Caturier? so many U's in the name. Like maybe like three or four more U's than one would need.

There's no eye on Rizai. There's an eye. It's right at the end. Calder, Barzell. My question to you is you think Besser and McAvoy make the top three despite missing most of the season. I mean not most of the season, most the last few months, I should say. Well, Besser, that's a tough one, right? I think he's still leading in goals for rookies as we speak.

That's what I mean. Maccoboy will get in like Lickety Split, but I wonder about the other one. Like who else would it be though? Like who's, it's not going to be Nico. It's not going to be NICO. It could be Nico, recency bias. Clayton Keller. Nico's going to have the points.

That'd be best for him McAboy. Yeah. Vezna, Peca's got it. I think there's a case we've made for Gibson. I think also though, I would say I had Gibson in my top three for who I think is going to be the finalist. Only a scant two days later, I'd revise that to say it's going to be Pecca, Vaselisky, and Flurry. I bet Flurry gets in.

Oh, Flory hasn't played. enough games. But you remember it's the GMs though. And like all the GMs back east would be like, good for Mark Andre. Here's my vote. Yeah. Kind of thing, right? No, the GMs can't be that bad. Can they?

Oh, can they? He's not even going to reach 50 games. I heard one of the GMs. This is a true story. Once traded Martin E. Rat for Philip Forsberg. Boy, I do. I love tweeting that as often as possible, just to get J.P. to reply to me on Twitter.

I should say, traded Philip Forzberg from Martin E. Actually, you know what? He also built two President's Trophy-winning teams. That's right. He certainly did. Hey, JP. Coach of the year? Fuck you, anybody saying it shouldn't be Galant.

I say that to Ryan Lambert with love. Like, fucking, build your fucking case for Bruce Castodale all you want. And then you can tell me how a team with the Pashtunach, Marshan, Bergeron, and Chara and McAvoy, and Krakow, and Kukkarask should somehow in any way be ahead of a guy who walked in a room, saw a bunch of people with, hi, my name is fucking stickers in their chest, and built a hundred point team out of it. You are fucking insane if you think that he shouldn't win in a walk.

Yeah, that one's easy. Okay. That one's really easy. By the way, Ryan Spooner has like 16 points in 18 games since the Bruins traded him. I just want to point that out. I knew that would happen for him with the Rangers. I mean, he was producing more than Rick Nash was before he traded him. He was a producing at this level.

I think that makes him an MVP candidate. Which brings us to the heart. Did we miss one? Did I get them all? Selky, Marisbisna, Calder, Adams. Yeah. Who's your Lady Bing? Oh, that's an easy one.

William Carlson's going to win it because they want to, the writers will want to reward William Carlson. He's got 43 goals now and like 12 penalty minutes. So he's the perfect recipe for winning the Lady Bay. And he's a sweet, right? Yeah, he's got to be polite. Gentlemenly. Like, I hate you.

Here's your Lincolnberry juice, friend. Although a gentlemanly person would not have done what he did to Martin Jones the other night. That's right. That was rude and uncalled for it. that's fucking great. I love the fact that he passed Brian Bradley for the most goals for a guy on an expansion team because it makes me think of those early lightning teams

what was like Brian Bradley and then it was a pre-Pupa team. Yeah, Darren Pupa wasn't there. Yeah, pre-Pupa. Like Pat Jolonsky or something was the goalie, I want to say. But it was back in the day when like Roman Hammerlich was drafted and then we post like a minus 90 for the lightning and it was the best.

And they were like hockey men. capital H, capital in there. Like, maybe he's not a winner. Yeah, that's probably what it is. Any thoughts on the heart? I mean, like, I feel like we've said all we need to say about this McDavid bullshit. Um, if you're not voting for Taylor Hall at this point, you're just throwing away your vote. I mean, I'm here for your McKinnon love.

I really am. I still think that he, what he was able to accomplish this year for an avalanche team that wasn't going to be any good is, is remarkable. Hall has basically done everything McKinnon's done, except for, like, he's three points behind him with two more games play, three more games play. but like McKinnon has nothing over there, right? He's got nothing over there. Hall has even less. Keith Kincaid and his 913 is carrying the devil's. He has, Nico, there's a 40-point gap between him and the next closest guy.

There's one guy on the team with more than 20 goals besides Taylor Hall. I know the analytic response is that the games now matter just as much as the games in October, but they don't. They don't know. When you were looking at the standings every day and seeing teams around you winning and knowing that you've got, to be able to perform in order to keep your team fucking alive. That doesn't happen in October unless you're, you know, the Arizona Coyotes and you know that your season could be over in October. Like the fact that Taylor Hall has put together, the streakies put together in the last like two

or three weeks for the devils to win them games and probably put them over the top for a playoff spot. I just don't know how you fucking ignore that. And I know that it gets like expelled away as reasoncy bias, but you have to value again, like you said this the other day when we were talking about this online. Like, you have to value that performance in leading a team to the playoffs

more than you value a guy putting up points in garbage time. Like McDavid's been doing it for the last few months. Oh, you're talking about McDavid. Seriously, I don't even think about McDavid in this debate. But you're going to have to because he's going to be a finalist. Don't you tell me what I have to do.

It's going to be Taylor Hall, McKinnon, and McDavid. Because the thing about McDavid is that there are so many other candidates that are going to be siphoning votes. Like you've got Camp Drew and you've got camp copatari you've got camp uh fucking marchan which is a really shitty camp where you get hit in the face all the time the camp where the camp counselors hit the kids in the face with canoes yes overrun by rats but so all those guys are going to have their own parties of of like putting

them second or throw on their own ballots or whatever but like mac david's going to be on so many ballots because there's me so many fucking writers that are already like i don't want my ballot public i don't want the hassle of people coming after me and now they're looking at every fucking oilers fan that's been tweeting about macdavit even in the heart, turning their goddamn scopes on these writers and being like, you didn't have him on your ballot? And then being like, this motherfucker doesn't deserve a job. Yeah, well, guess what?

Guess what's going to happen on this podcast when that happens? I will not put him on my ballot and I will say, come at me. And we will go to Edmonton and we will have that town meeting that we talked about, the town hall meeting, and everybody can go to the mics and tell me how wrong I am and I will laugh at them and say, I am right. I meant the opposite. I meant like when I find like all these idiots in Edmonton, you see one fucking guy was tweeting about how like, oh, apparently everyone thought Milan Lucci,

was a great signing a year ago, but now they don't want to be... Oh, and also the fucking Larson trade revision too up there. It must be so suffocating to be an Oilers fan at Edmonton when like every person who's like a media person who works for the team essentially in some sort of way or indirect it just constantly parrots what the fucking team tells them. It's in, oh my God, I would go fucking nuts. Watching this team suck ass as Milan Luchich has two points in like 30 games. Well, you guys all wanted Milan Luchich.

Okay, A, we didn't. And B, even if we did, we're not fucking running. the team. The guy who ran the team got Milan Luchuchis because he thought he could replace Taylor Hall, who's now going to win the MVP two years later. What the, what the, what do you doing? And meanwhile, you know, Oilers fans, that ballot, I'm going to read on this. Oilers fans, when they're not fancasting McDavid for the harder, are then looking at the all-star team that Peter Chirale has traded in his career as a GM. Like, Jake Wheeler, Tyler Say again, Taylor Hall up front. Like, how many ex-chirelli players are going to finish

in the top 20 in Hart voting this year? Like six. It's embarrassing as shit. And just, oh, no, nope, Nope, that's not. But we thought Adam Larson was a dude. Yeah. God, I hate the sports so much, man. I hate it. Well, let's change gears then. I have a quick, you were shocked to find out who Jenna Tatum was.

Because you didn't know. Oh, I thought it was, oh, she took his, well, it said, it said, Jenna, whatever. Dwan. I don't know how, I had no idea who she. Channing Tatum's wife, but Channing Tatum and his wife split this week. And you were really surprised to find out. A, that he was married. I have no idea what's going on.

You also said that you didn't. know any famous Jenna's and that was embarrassing for you because people were like Jameson, Fisher. Jameson, I should have a media. That's on me. But I knew he was married to Jenna Jameson. She was on Porn Tube, I believe, last time I saw her. She's actually a spokesperson for my new website Porn Tube, where you think it's porn, but

it's actually just Jenna Jameson talking about hockey highlights. I can't look for it right now because I'm on my work computer, but I do want to know, can you look on your phone and find out if there's a porn tube? There has to be a porn tube. He said no. He's laughing at it. Are you going to look on your phone to see if there's a porn tube? I'll just put Porn Tube into the Google search box.

Oh, that's a great way of doing it. Let's see here. What do you got? One word probably. Yeah, it has to be one word. Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally. It's called Porn Tube.

It's called Porn Tube. It has a little registered trademark next to it. And is it T-O-O-B like Boob or is it like Tube like Tube? The next two sites are called Dino Tube. I don't know what's going on on that site. We have a certain friend in Massachusetts who might be interested in that site. And the one below that is called UJIS.com. What?

well i need to jizz better go to youjiz dot com i see the one i go to the one under it which is you may not jizz because of catholic guilt dot com actually it's dot net like these are ones like porna that's one i've heard of videos i've heard of that one in honor of channing tatum uh and his wife uh separating i wanted to ask you were going to play a little game that doug benson plays on his podcast can you it's a variation of it can you name the five highest grossing channing tatum movies uh adjusted

for ticket inflation prices. The names of these porn sites are hilarious. Dato porn. Like data with an O. Oh. Fine tubes. Oh, fine tube. It's a refined Doughton Abbey porn.

Top five Channing Tatum movies highest grossing. In any order. In any order. Just name the five. So there's Magic Mike. Okay. It's Magic Mike XXL. Okay.

Now you're having trouble naming five Chani Tata movies. I'll say 21 Jump Street, but I'm I don't think it's one of them. Is it? Well, no, I'm just, I want you to name your five and I'll tell you how I did. Oh, I think you're telling that. Yeah, I'm sorry to give you all that much encouragement. Um, mm-hmm.

Ooh, there's my phone going off. Channing Tatum. White House down. And isn't there one where he's like a street fighter and he like fights people for money because he wants to be a dancer or something? It's not like half of his movies. You mean step up? Is it, no.

Oh, step up's the, no. I don't know. Those are my four. What are the five? Number five is the, Vow. I have no idea what that is. Shannon Tatum in a,

uh, uh, uh, uh, I believe it's like a Nicholas Sparks type movie. Is he a priest? Like, no,

no, no, no, it's, uh, I think it's like he's blind or she's dead. It's with Rachel McAdams. Nope.

Never heard of it. Okay. It's number five. How much did it make? $144 million dollars. What? Just for inflation. Wow.

21 Jump Street is four. Hmm. Here's one that you probably forgot. G. Joe, the rise of Cobra in which he played Duke. Oh, I forgot he was even in that. Right, when Joseph Gordon Leavitt Leavitt played

Cobra Commander, inexplicably. But he wore like a mask the whole movie or something, right? Yeah, and it wasn't even the cool Cobra Commander mask. He didn't even talk like Cobra Commander. I have an incredible weather machine. 22 Jump Street is number two. Oh, see, I was going to say that. I didn't think the sequel did as well as the first one. Number one's kind of a trick question, because he was the voice of Superman in the Lego movie.

Wait, none of the Magic Mike movies grew more than one. 140? One. All right, all right. Was number seven. And Magic Mike XXL was number 14. Wow, seven. Seven or 14.

Yeah. All right. All right. Question of the week time here on Puck Soup. And it was assuming they aren't already perfect, which I believe they are. How do you suggest we improve the Stanley Cup playoffs? Sean Leahy, our good friend Never heard of them

said Puppies Colder arenas Trail mix on the ice at every faceoff People said that they like It was interesting We asked you guys

I forget if it was in the mailbag Or if it was in the main show last week But we asked you how you felt about guests Which is ironic Because we knew that we were going to have A real great guest today But people said they like when guests It said in for the full show

Which I thought was interesting One, I mean it's hard because who the fuck wants to be on this fucking dumbass show for two hours. Yeah, like, who don't want to talk to for two hours? We've had Leahy in for the full time. We had Lambert in for the full time. Right. Do we have Wilder in for the full time or just for a segment?

She was just in and out. Lambert, of course, is ducking us now that he sees his Taylor Hall arguments are falling apart as Taylor Hall continues to have four points. Plus, he doesn't like the fact that now that we've worked through the whole doing an impression of him thing. Now he doesn't like the fact that we humor people who want to bring back his other podcast that Sean Gentile has never. have time to do anymore. Clearly, it's Lambert who has no time for it. He's... Do you think it's a Lambert problem?

I think it's a Sean problem. I'm doing a bit. Oh, Sean's a big time, a big time columnist now in Pittsburgh. I don't know why they, I mean, they have time. They have time. Come on. Yins know they don't have time. Yins know when you're a columnist in Pittsburgh takes up your entire time.

Yeah, that's just one less podcast for us to compete with as far as I'm concerned. Flower? What do you think about stick to sports not broadcasting anymore on their podcasts? We should steal their, we should steal their draft bit. movie draft bit and just start because if they're not using it anymore we might as well you know what I mean it's like a bag of cash sitting on the ground speaking of podcasts puck puck puck podcast answered the question glow puck no not that kind for one game each series the NHTL turns off the lights turns on powerful black lights and only the puck the boards and the glass the goalposts

and the relevant markings on the ice are illuminated the players would wear special jerseys gear to globe rightly first of all I appreciate puck podcast participating in our question of without trying to start a radio war. I thought this might be a thing. Like, how to improve the playoffs? Fuck, Greg and Dave. So we appreciate that all being one big podcast family. Second of all...

Second of all, get off the drugs, buddy. Second of all, apparently somebody has gone lunar bowling recently. Yeah, I know. It would be a really cool idea to have that in the playoffs. Somebody has a good source of mushrooms, apparently, that they want to be able to use a game. Did you ever go to Rock and Bowl or Lurber Bowling when you were good? God, dozens of times. Oh, yeah.

That was a Friday thing. Yeah, that was a Friday or Saturday High School thing. Also, a friend of mine, Mark Russoff, was the DJ at Lunar Bowling. So it was called Rocken Bowl in Jersey. Yeah, Strathmoreland. So we used to go there all the time. If you had the red pin as the headpin and you got a strike, you got a free game. You had to call over a bowling alley employee to watch you bowl that particular.

You know who didn't like Rock and Bowl or Lunar Bowling people with Dandruff? Jared Moore writes, go back to 1 versus 8, 2 versus 7, etc. And eliminate the divisional format. The NHL, quote unquote, fixed something that was. it's broken and made it worse, Jared, is a man of, of, uh, out of my own heart. I appreciate that. Here's a bad one from Scott, Scotty Wise, college style. Already I want to stop reading it, but four division champions, 12 at large bids done through equations. Equations. Like math? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like the regular season some meaning on the

strength of schedule and it adds fancy stats to it. Like, like, no, no, that's not, that's, it's like, it's like the NCAA tournament in college basketball where they have, you know, last 10 strength of schedule, all that. No, that's not a good idea. Alexander goes away from the seating and standings debates to suggest something that I think is actually

really awesome. Instead of removing bands from the cup, make the trophy bigger. Now, it's an annual ritual, or not annual, but like semi-annual ritual, where they talk about, oh, the names that are leaving the puck.

There won't be a mention of dit clap around the cup anymore because the other teams have been added to it. Like, there's this fucking thing. I like this idea. Make the cup just elephant-tine. Like make it the size of the flat iron building at some point where it's just like... I as well.

Yeah. And it's like, it's like, um, uh, it's Cindy Crosby, come get you cup. And then Betman's like tipping over. By the way, thanks to everybody that says the fuck it everyone gets in system is what we should do. I'm glad to see so many people are seeing the light of how to make the regular season and postseason that much more better. Much more better. Is that the term I want to use? Mike Malley says, end it before Memorial.

But he spelled Memorial Day, Memorial Day, M-E-M-E-R-I-A-L, where it almost looks like Mermaid. Mermaid Day. Mermaid Memorial Day. See, I think people just say that now out of reflex. Like, the season should end before a certain date. Like, I mean, no. Like, has there ever been a time where you're like, I want to watch a Stanley Cup final on June 7th? But it's too late for me to put it on, so I'm not going to watch it.

You still watch it? You know, like, what does it matter? I hate... What are you doing on June 7th? that you want that night free. I just, I feel like part of the problem, though, is that the game, that people don't pay attention to hockey in the middle of June because they want to go to the beach. Well, there's that aspect to it. Yeah.

You know, they don't. They're like, I have better. Basketball end at the same time, man. Basketball catches up and they pretty much end the NBA final, the cup final go on at the same time. No one says it about the NBA final. But look, they're all wearing tank tops and shorts and shit. It looks like summer. But don't you want to be cooled off in the hot summer days by a nice ice sheet?

I've always, you know, that's an interesting thought. I've often had that thought. where it's like because it's kind of like when you go watch if it was the summer of like 1993

and Stallone's cliffhanger was in theaters in the summer it's like who wouldn't want to go see a movie that takes place in the icy mountains right

right I don't think that matters sure Dyerhard was a Christmas movie that came out in June did it come out in June? I think it came out in June

I may be wrong about that it's also not a cold movie but it's summer my movie had snow we fought in the snow Oh, I was wearing a big coat.

You think I'm going out on that ice? Yeah, you got another thing coming. Death then. By exile. Impossible. I love how they shoehorned Sillian Murphy into all three of those movies. It's great.

It's just, just the key in Hollywood man is to become friends with a powerful director, getting one of their movies and they'll stick you in something forever. Again, people have such a problem with how Bruce Wayne got from climbing out of the hole back to Gotham. Just getting out of the hole. stupid. I have a hundred percent less of a problem with that than how he climbed up on the bridge undetected whilst the military

was on the fucking bridges, right, to keep people from passing. Remember that whole thing? Sprit, put it up gasoline. Put it up gasoline. To make a bat thing. Got enough gasoline to make a giant bat. And then also make, didn't he also like bring the gasoline down to the ice too? So they'd think, like this. Light it up.

Light it up. Right, right. Right. Right. And then light it up. Excuse me, sir. What are you doing up there? Nothing. Uh, not painting with the gasoline, I can tell you that. Yeah, they're on the bridge. Like, what's that smell? Is there a gasoline in one of the tanks?

Like, what is going on? Quiet. I'm doing my heart. Hey, what are you doing up there, bud? Washing the bridge. Gasoline. It gets rid of the brust. This city showed you.

This bridge is good. clean it's a gasoline like Gotham his gasoline was left over for the Joker the whole mafia

just one guy in a clown Batman had a real bad job of prioritizing in that movie while you're in this prison Gotham will burn yeah I'll burn when I get back there

and put a giant bed on a bridge what nothing I'm gonna make this jump without a running start even though every time I've jumped before this I've come four feet short

and I'll live because of fear What a bad fucking movie that last one was It was so bad How are we supposed to fix your back With that modern Just keep punching it And I'll hang upside down

Four punches and 20 pushups a day Sobs and he's Yeah In Black Panther They have all the technology To fix spinal injuries In the dark night It's just like some guy with a rope

Punch me How's this possibly gonna heal Look I'm no chiropractor But I think it'll work. I can get Wi-Fi and a WebMD. It says I should just do push-ups. A couple more.

William Puck follower writes in Nashville has catfish. Every other team gets something thrown on the ace. Rubber duckies in Anaheim, syrup in Toronto, portable chargers in Tampa. Syrup, yeah, that's a good idea. And bags of Coke in L.A. It could also be Vegas. Kelly writes in, improve the spacing on start time. So there's always hockey to watch.

and I don't have to bother with any intermission shows. Oh, they have to start doing that because they start games at seven, and they start one and eight, and then the seven and eight, the first and second periods are overlapping. Yeah, every half hour. It's almost like you could look at what college basketball does and say,

hey, just do that, except that'd be way too easy. I know. Finally, Patrick O'Sullivan. Oh, Patrick O'Sullivan. Oh, a big fan of Beard-Doyle. His mother's merry potatoes. Wait, is it that Patrick O'Sullivan?

Yeah, the real, real. What's the suggestion going to be? Oh, wait, it's a fake Patrick O'Sullivan. Sorry. I got excited. I didn't see a blue checkpoint, and now I put my cursor over it, and I see the Dias out in 123 followers. Well, we'll humor it anyway. The fake Patrick O'Sullivan says, with my wealth of NHL playoff experience, maybe we can get hitting out of the game.

Never my thing. You know, now that I think about it, I probably should have been really clear that this is a fake Patrick O'Sullivan. I mean, it is a bad take, so it could possibly be there about Patrick O'Sullivan. All right. Well, thank you everybody for listening to this show. We packed a lot into it. Yeah. The Steven Spielberg list, a Channing Tatum quiz, Sedeens, awards. We didn't even really talk about the standings because, I mean, by the time you listen to this, I'm sure other teams will be eliminated. Although there's a chance that Blue's Avalanche game this weekend could be for a playoff spot, which is kind of exciting.

I guarantee you that it works out somehow where that game means nothing. Oh, we forgot them about the Chicago goalie. They go our seven save Patrick Lines, Stone and goalie off the street, who's not going to get paid and are going to have his likeness to sell stuff. Holy shit. That was, we didn't talk about that last show, did we? I think that happened like that night after we did last week. Yeah, no, that was an awesome story.

It's the kind of story that can only happen in hockey. I interviewed one of his beer league teammates, and that was one of my favorite things I wrote recently because it was just like, it was, his team got, his team was preparing to play. And then someone runs into the dressing him. They were like, hey, what's up? He's going in. and then and then so their team comes out and the other team comes out

and they're waiting for the Zamboni to get them resurfacing the ice so they're all watching the game on TV and the lobby of the rink and if you've ever been to any local rink you know that there's that giant sort of lobby area where kids are walking through and whatever there's usually like a fucking claw machine

there or some shit so they're all watching the game on the TV there and then the two teams that played prior to their game come out and they're watching the game in the lobby so all these fuckers and their full kits. Smelling like shit.

Yeah, skates on and whatever. Hockey. They're wearing this, their beer league hero play for the Blackhawks. And the other really cool thing was during the game, you can evidently see the TVs from the bar above the rank at Johnny's Ice House. And so the beer league teams are getting ready for a face off and one of them glances up and they see,

what was it, Scott Foster? Scott Foster. Skating around having been named first star of the game. And like they stopped playing and they just start, like tapping their sticks and applauding on the ice during their game to their guy on the TV. It was fucking, what a cool fucking story. Proofs two things. One, the CBA sucks because now players, even though they're not, NHL players will have their likeness and blah, blah, blah, blah.

But two, we got to stop paying goalie's money, man. Anyone can make a save in the NHL. I mean, he stopped lying. It was a stasily he robbed on the backdoor play. Like, just give every goalie the same contract, 10 years, $10 million, and then let them play for 10 years. But, like, what other sport does this happen? There's no like emergency closer in baseball. There's no like emergency quarterback in football.

It's like what a position. The emergency quarterback in football is like the wide receiver who played, who played quarterback for his D3 school. Yeah, like Heinz Ward is like waiting to come in. Yeah. Was a Heinz Ward? Was he the emergency guy for Pittsburgh? Yeah.

It's that guy in D3 who's like, you know, I'm going to grow up to be a quarterback. You're like put your a minority player who is really fast. Obviously you can't be a quarterback. And then they make him into a wide receiver or safety because football fucking sucks. And then, like, yeah, there's no real. It's basically like when an outfielder pitches in baseball. That's about it.

That's as close as you can get. Yeah, but it's never like a fan. There's no like guy on standby. There's like, hey, listen, man, if the point guard gets hurt in this game, you're going in. We saw you play on the playground once and you're going in. Oh, the Yankees, the Yankees let a guy manage the team this year who's never managed in baseball. That's kind of the same thing. They just fuck the guy out of the stands and said, hey, you want to manage the most popular team in baseball for a season because your last name's Boone?

Sure. All right. But again, I think our point is thanks to Stan Fisler for joining us. Stan is amazing. And I was super excited we had him on. I think it's going to be one of these moments where he'll look back on it and be like, I don't know what happened that day. But it was surreal that I did anything. I was in a studio talking to two idiots for half an hour.

Yeah, he'll forget about this the moment he walks out. Yeah, the moment he walks out. My favorite thing about interviewing Stan was the fact that no matter what we asked him, he just told a story. It's just a whole story. That's why I want it. I just want to hear stories. I don't want to hear his thoughts on Corsi and Fenwick. Stan, what do you think about the development of defensive sentiment over the years, going from the early days of Guy Carbado to now with Patrice Bergeron? There was a play in 1937. His name was Boom, Boom, Reginald Blackjack, Water Fountain Spitzer. They called him that because he spit water all over the place. Stan, what do you think about the development of a puck would be defenseman through the years?

I mean, we had Paul Coffey in the 80s, but now we've moved all the way up to players like Eric Carlson. In 1943, there was once a trade involving a hamburger. There was a kid named Tiger Lyonson. He was actually half Tiger, half lion. It was Clarence Campbell genetically engineered him in the basement of MSG, not the current MSG, the old MSG. And he skated on all four. should have been in the Hall of Fame. Stan, your thoughts on the developments in labor negotiations through the years and the current CBA.

In the Western Hockey League, there was once a fight in which a man took out a curved Arabian sword, and he fought the other guy who for some reason had a flamethrower. But not like a modern flamethrower, like the first generation of flamethrower where you had to use, you know, an aerosol can and a lighter. And one of his teammates, his teammates' name was Milk Cotton O'Reilly because he always went missing on road trips because he was in bed with the ladies. So Milk Cotton takes a lasso, lassoes this kid as he's skating over with the flame throw. That was a great game back then in the W.H.L.

His name was Dirt Pyle Robinson because he was buried in the minor leagues, you see. All right, that's the show for this week. We've probably gone over two hours now, and thanks for Stan for coming on. We love him. People here have work to do. We'll see you next week for the playoff review. Bye. Today's episode of Puck Soup has been sponsored by Just for Men for an enviable beard and healthy feelings skin underneath.

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