Puck Soup - Stanley Cup Final and Mike "Doc" Emrick

Episode Date: June 2, 2016

Greg and Dave talk about the Stanley Cup Final, including Sidney Crosby's genius, Logan Couture's whining and whether neutral fans should cheer for the Sharks or Penguins. Also, NBC announcing legend Mike "Doc" Emrick joins us to tell funny tales and talk puck. All that plus rants about the World Cup, expansion, the NHL in the Olympics, "Now You See Me 2," and a horrific story about a cleaning lady that drank Greg's vodka.

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Support this podcast. And get yourself some Seat Geek. Enjoy the show. Now entering nerdist.com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you'll commute. But we also cover. movies, TV shows, it's in tunes.

It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. Puck Soup. I'm Greg Wyshinsky, Yahoo Sports. And I'm Dave Lozo, Vice Sports, and a comeback and everything else. And you're in Puck Soup. I'm in Pittsburgh, actually. We're both in Puck Soup, but I'm in Pittsburgh for game two of the Stanley Cup final in which the Penguins were victorious.

We'll get to that in a second. But first, I need to tell you all about something that occurred in my apartment while I was on the road. Uh-oh. All right, so I'm on the road. Ruby's got a new gig at the Bill Simmons, The Ringer, which so started today. And so since life was hectic, we had a cleaning lady come to the apartment. I know, fancy. Oh, great poo-paw.

Rolls-Royces. Look at me in my elitist world of cleaning people out of town. We also got a camera for the apartment to check on sneakers and to see the dog walker that we got to take care of sneakers too while I'm on the road and Ruby's at work. So the cleaning lady comes the other day, Ruby's actually at home. Cleaning lady comes the other day. Ruby takes sneakers out for a walk. cleaning lady, this is someone we've literally just hired, you know, for the first time, uh, on a coupon, mind you.

There was a coupon involved. Oh my God. Exactly. So we have the camera set up and we have a little sign that says it's recording because we have to do that for the benefit of the dog walker. I don't think English was her first language. So mayhap she didn't see it. Uh-huh. So, um, so she's cleaning the house.

And, uh, now she's cleaning over. by where the camera is. And the camera is actually it's focused near where the liquor cabinet is. And I have two bottles of beluga vodka, one that I acquired

in Sochi at the Olympics. The other given to me by our good friend, Mark Fischel, as a gift at our housewarming party, also from Russia, also from Russia. They run about $100 a bottle, okay? You haven't drank that yet?

No, I'm trying to, trying to savor it. Oh, boy. I will not be drinking them going forward because the camera. Okay, we're watching the video. Let me rephrase, rewind this for a second. Ruby calls me. I'm like, oh, okay, what's up? She goes, she starts whispering.

She's like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, what's wrong. So I got a notification on email that there was movement by the camera. So I turned on the camera and I saw the cleaning lady drinking vodka. Like what? So I go check the camera and here's what you see. You see the cleaning lady go over to the vodka, literally look to her left and look to her right to make sure nobody's in the apartment and at that point

Ruby's out walking a dog she takes the bottle of vodka she pops off the top she takes a huge swig and she puts it back down and then 10 seconds later picks up the second bottle pops off the top

takes a huge swing and puts it back down wow and I was like I cannot believe I'm in a fucking date line episode like this is the shit I never thought would be a thing, but this is like caught on fucking film, right? So, wait, wait, like what time of day is?

This is like 10 in the morning. Oh, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, follow up question. Is she single? She, she looking or anything? Well, you know, just, I host this really good podcast. Spoiler warning. I think she may have some extra time on her hands.

So Ruby's like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, I'm like, she's like, I'm like, you got to get her out of there. You got to tell her that you know what's up. You just say, you know, just be like, listen, you have to leave now. And if she's like, why, just be like, well, like, we both know why. And, like, that's what I thought she was going to do. I thought she was going to really play it cool. So I'm like, keep me on the phone as you do this, right?

And so, like, she's got me on the phone and she goes up to the cleaning lady. And she's like, you know, Consuela or whatever. I'm sorry. I'm trying to, I'm not being racist. I just don't remember her name. She's like, she's like. She's like, Consuela, you have to go now. And she's like, why?

And I'm like, I'm thinking Ruby's just going to be like, oh, you just have to go now. She's like, because you were drinking out of our vodka bottles. I'm like, oh, boy, here we go. Well, she has to confront her. She can't just be like, because if you don't tell her why. I love she's going to be a badass and just be like, you know why. So like, she's like, you were drinking out of her vodka bottles. To which the woman then says, no.

Denied it. She goes, I. I was just cleaning them. And Ruby's like, yeah, with your mouth. And so, like, she then has to, so then I lose her on the phone. And I'm trying to call her back and I can't get her. And I'm like, oh, my, what the fuck happened here? Like, what did she just take the, she's like, this vodka bottle?

And she just like cracks her over the head with it. I don't know what's going on. So it turns out she then has to like, hang up the phone with me because she has to show her the video. So she's literally showing this woman the video. And she's like, here, right here, look. And she goes, I'm just cleaning it. And she's like, okay, but what about the second one here that you clearly tip back over your head and guzzle down Russian vodka with it? So, wait, did she like put her whole mouth on the bottle?

She did put her whole. She basically. Like one of those like shot girls, like will they get on the bar and pour it into your mouth? She's serious. She lips on bottle, tipped it back, had the, had the Sochi fire water fall. all the way down her gullet. And so she shows her the second time she takes a swig of the vodka. And the cleaning lady says, okay, you got me.

So she's leaving. And Ruby's just like, you know, I hope that you just get some help maybe. And then there it was it. And so. The future Mrs. Lozo. I'm really excited to meet her. So long story short, not to besmirch the good name of any cleaning company that we have mentioned, Like, we sent him an email, and at first they were like, what?

And they were like, no, seriously, it's on film. So we sent them the video file and sent them an email, and they're going to reimburse us for the vodka. But, dude, holy shit. Like, holy shit. Wait, so I know you have a dog walker over there because, God forbid, you let me ever take it to the dog walker. Have you, like, caught your dog walker do and, like, blow off your coffee table yet?

Oh, no, that's disgusting. No, he's just been masturbating in the kitchen a little bit. I don't get it because you know me. I'm willing to masturbate in the kitchen if that's what's required to walk sneakers every once in a while. Just tell me that. Just come out and sing. It was like one of those things where like you watch that like dateline shit or that like primetime ABC shit and you're just like, oh, that's crazy. Like how could someone let someone like that into their home?

But it's great. It's great that like Ruby wasn't like just, you know, she was willing to like present the evidence like Marsha Clark just like slowly like. bring it to the village and get her to confess. She was like part Marsha Clark, part like Donofrio in criminal intent where she's like bending over at the hips and kneeling and looking at her. You drank the vodka. She was, we have seen it.

Yeah, she was in a bar with a bunch of people and one of the dudes is like, I don't think once Consuel was guilty. And Ruby's just like, this beer bottle is a vodka bottle, okay? And this other beer bottle is also a vodka bottle, okay? And then just reenacted the crime and proved them wrong. She like investigated it and like on every single Law & Order episode where they go to the bar

and they show the picture of the person they think did it. Of course, the bartender immediately remembers that Consuela drinks vodka all the time, and that helps the case as well. Even though there's like 800 people that go to the bar on a Friday, and it's like, yeah, Consuela, 5-2, Spanish accent, nice lady, love their vodka. Like, come on, really? Really law and order? That's awesome.

Yeah, but it's awesome, but also sort of like you temporarily lose your faith in humanity. that someone would be, like, not only invited into your home, like, like, if this was a drunk uncle, if this was Tom Hanks on family ties drinking the Marasino cherry juice because of an alcoholic, like, that's one thing, right? But like, that's a reference. I know. But when you invite like a alleged professional who's working with like a bonded company into your home and then they pull that shit, that's like caught on tape, that's like the shit you don't think is going to ever happen to you. And lo and behold, it happened to us with really good vodka too.

Why couldn't she drink the fucking kettle one? And the amazing thing, too, is, like, if she had gone into the fridge and then, like, poured herself some orange juice, you'd be like, well, that's kind of friend, like, familiar. But I get it. She's thirsty. She's had a long day. She goes right for the vodka. It doesn't pour it into, like, a glass or anything.

Just go straight from the bottom, man. I mean, just find out if she's single for me when you actually found. Just, just, just see if she's interested in now. She could have taken a check out of my checkbook and written a personal check to buy a hand-hammered walk on QVC, and it still would have been better than what she did. It was terrible. It was such a violation. Good for her. You're terrible.

Anyway, restoring my faith in humanity is the fact that Sidney Crosby is an evil genius mastermind and also a feckless cheater, according to the Senate of the Sharks. Right. Right. Speaking of people that cheat and break the rules, Sidney Crosby in game two, it's like a final. That's a good thing way. All right.

Sid orchestrates the game-winning goal from Connor Shiri, walks, skates over all of his teammates and tells them all exactly how it's going to go. I'm going to win the face off back to Latang. Latang is going to pass it to Shiri. Sheary's going to have an open lane to take a shot and he's going to shoot and he's going to score. Except if Sid didn't say he was going to shoot and score, it's the only part he left out. I guess he's trying to leave a little bit to suspense.

But after the game, after the Penguins victory to go up to game, two games done in that series, the greatest thing that's ever happened happened, which is that Logan Coutor, Logan Couture, down 2-0 in a series. Logan Couture, fourth man on the totem pole with the San Jose Sharks. Logan Couture, Sidney Crosby without the looks, says after the game, after being asked what Sidney Crosby does to win face-off so cleanly in the offensive zone, Logan Couture says he cheats. He gets away with that.

He's Sidney Crosby. So his contention is that for, I guess it's just this year, they changed it, right? Just for this year where if it's a defensive zone draw, whether you're home or away, that the defensive zone team has to put the stick down for it. So he's saying that for all this year, Crosby, first of all, again, timing it where you're sweeping your stick through the little face off dot as the puck's being dropped. You probably can't do that.

But I mean, you're timing it. That's, I don't think that's really cheating. But his feet on that one goal, like I didn't go back and watch all 20. 25 faces he took because I'm not an insane person. I'm not insane. We're not crazy, yeah. It's, it is a little bit, but I mean, that's not why, that's not why the sharks are down too in this series.

Like, maybe that's why he won that particular face off against Joel Ward, but I mean, Logan, man. Well, he's not saying, he's not saying, he's not saying that Sid gets the benefit of those calls. I don't think he's, like, blaming the deficit on it. But my issue is this with, with, with that being something he calls out. And I know he calls it out because he's a center. He takes face-offs, whatever.

A face-off is one of the things in sports that is just, it's like your taxes. You just assume there's cheating. Like it's, you know, like a jump ball in the NBA. It's like somebody coming out and saying there was cheating on the jump ball. Like some guy left his feet slightly quicker than the other guy. Like there are some things in sports where we assume there is cheating on the play and no one should ever bitch about it. holding in the NFL is very close in my regard to being one of those plays you don't complain about. Because just holding on every play.

On every jump ball, there's somebody who leaves early. On every face off, there's somebody that cheats. And like to call it out and then to go down the because you Sidney Crosby Road, like, that's the other thing about it too. Like, I'm all for the whining about star treatment in sports. That's fine. but like, Sid to me gets an eternal pass because he was hitting the head twice by two different guys and there were no repercussions for it from the league that made him their biggest star. That's fair.

It is like that. It's like it's, but it's also like this too. There was a play in the Steelers Seahawks Super Bowl and I forget what it was, but it was a situation where I think, I think Seattle, because I, remember Seattle getting screwed that game. Yeah, we're coming after you, City of Pittsburgh on this podcast. Any great memories you had, we're going to ruin it. Putting fries on salads and stuff, the hell's wrong with you.

That's a good thing. Let's not disparage that. That's actually a pretty good idea. Like, if you can actually put some, like, chocolate sauce on that, too, that'd be great. But, like, it's one of those things where, yeah, there's cheating on every play. But when, like, the play is, like, the game-winning play, like, if it's a holding call, that costs you a touchdown or a missed holding call when the guy would have gotten to the quarterback and sack me for a loss of 12.

He ends up throwing a 40-yard touchdown, like that pisses you off. But again, if you're going to start bitching about things that don't get called in the playoffs, why do you bitch about literally almost everything that possibly happens in a one-goal game? Yeah. The amazing thing was about last game was that the shark's got that power play at the last two minutes because, like, Ben Lovejoy, I forget who he held, but he holds someone's hand and arm for like two seconds, and the ref's like, just keep going, just play. Then he grabs his stick, waves the stick over his head.

head like it's a trophy like look at me i'm going to do all the illegals and like they're like all right that's eight seconds worth of penalty i got to call this like you they don't friend brend dillon brennillan annihilated conner shiry at one point in that game on that play where the puck took the weird bounce and it skipped over the net puck went in the corner and before connor shir he could play the puck like brendan dillan commits a salt and they don't call it and i i get that logan guitar is not going to complain about that but if you're not going to call brend and dillan you know physically violating a man half his size, they're not going to call a quarter

of a second advantage. How do you feel about that, though, the playoffs? Like, again, it's just assumed... I hate it. You want shit called in the playoffs. You don't want the let him play thing. It's stupid, because, like, letting up... Like, I understand, like, letting him play

in, like, certain, like, like, I think, like, after the whistle stuff where, like, guys are pushing each other in the face. Like, you don't want to give somebody a power play after one of those, but, like, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, you're going to the corner to play the puck and a guy just crushes you before you can get there. I don't care if it's 1-0-0 with a minute to go or it's 5-0-0 in the first period. That should always be a penalty.

The whole idea of not calling penalties to let them play and let them decide the game. You decide the game with your inaction. It's the same thing, whether you call it or not. Like, I would just, like, again, this is a football podcast, so we'll keep talking about football. Ball soup. Right, right. If a guy's going down the sidelines that he's like, he's done, he doesn't get down and out and out and up, but he gets by his DB and the DB, like,

tackles him by his ankles and holds him, if it's 14, 14 in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, or it's like 7-3 in the first quarter of week four, they're always going to call that. But that's the thing about the NHL is they don't call the obvious, like somebody, I think it was Pavelski while the sharks were on the power play got slashed and high stick all in one motion. And it was just nothing. Referees looking right out. but he's not going to give somebody a five on three. That drives me.

It drives me nuts, man. I think it hurts teams like the sharks and the capitals in years past who have dominant power plays. If suddenly in the playoffs, the whatever, the scale for what is and is in the penalty changes. It changes the dynamic of that team. And seriously, I'm looking at – I'm sitting in front of my computer watching how long I've been talking for about this now. And I'm just going to stop because this could be a two-hour podcast. Listen, since we've changed this to foot soup for a second. As a Jets fan, I'm not really happy with the quarterback situation.

I'm not going to try to put a time stamp on this. I don't know what the deal with Fitz is going to be. Not yet. Not yet. But you figure it's going to happen at some point, but it's just been really painful and stupid. That said, as a Giants fan, no matter what happens with the Jets this offseason, doesn't matter anymore because your best player is now dating a Kardashian. You know what?

I went to the Mets game with a buddy of mine last night, and we were just catching up, whatever, and I'm like, I was like, yeah, even in Vegas, they actually set the over-under for eight wins for the Giants. That's an easy over-bett. They'll win nine games with a better defense, and he's like, well, he's like, what about Beckham? And I'm like, oh, God, did he get hurt?

And he's like, no, he's dating at Kardashian. So this is two days in a row now where somebody has thrown that in my face. Because there's a very good chance he could have an aneurysm and a brothel. by the end of the season, because that's what happens with Kardashians? Wait, who... Wasn't that what happened to Lamar Otam? He had an aneurysm in a brothel while he was dating

with the Kardashians, that was it? Wasn't that the thing? He was at a thing? I thought he had, like, a drug thing. I thought he was, like, really, like, messed up in terms of, like, addiction. I don't realize he had an aneurysm. Oh, you see, one of us just completely libeled somebody.

But here's the point. But here's the point. Like, now you've got to worry about your boy going to the stupid Kanye fashion shows. Now you've got to worry about him being on the e-show with having to have hijinks with Chris Jenner and with Kate and with Caitlin. And Victor Cruz basically fell apart and he's basically that like best known for being a cast member on Ballers because he's not good anymore all of a sudden. How did Ballers get a second season? Honestly, did it get better? I stopped watching it. It really didn't. It was really, it was one of those shows where you could just tell Peter Berg just

wanted to tell stories about how he knows players. That's all. I remember watching the first couple of episodes, and there was an entire plot line of, like, the Rock's character having, like, CTE or something. And then, like, the next time we're trying it around, it was just like, it was like a, like a,

like a sizzle reel for a hooter's boat tour. I don't know what that'll happen to that show. It was, it was like, the only good plot line was the one that involved Denzel's kid, who I didn't even realize was Denzel's kid, the wide receiver guy, Ricky Gervais.

Ricky, Martin. Ricky, Ricky, whatever. And then there's like the retired dude who wants to get back. It was the most

boring and like Rob Cordries and off of it. Yeah, it's, honestly, it's not a good show, but it's not a good show. But I give HBO credit

because the, the very valuable show that exists so its creators can have sex with the extras, slot was open after Entourage went off the air.

Right, right. So, like, Silicon Valley is not related to shows. No, it's not. Like producers at HBO need to have sex with somebody, so why not do that show? And also, let's just be straight up with it and just call the show ballers. Why not? So Game of Thrones, that's for sure. Exactly. All right, so listen, here's a deal.

We got Doc Ember coming up on the show today. We got the Pittsburgh Penguins up with a 2-0 lead over the San Jose Sharks. I'm going to imagine that there are a lot of people that haven't heard Doc Embrick's voice yet in these playoffs because they're not watching them. Or maybe they're not watching them as passionately as they should be because they haven't figured out who they're supposed to root for yet. So here's the thing I want to ask you, my good friend.

Fire away. Who should the neutrals? Who should the casuals? Who should the fence sitters root for in these playoffs now that the penguins are up to nothing over the Sharkees? especially now that it's 2-0 look at it this way right Phil Kessel as lovable as he is and how great

it's going to be when the penguins do actually win this series because they're probably going to at this point Joe Thornton Patrick Marlowe two old guys that have been crapped on way too fiercely with way too much wet sloppy corn-filled crap from people like Jeremy Roanick and Mike Milbury you know those two guys take disgusting dumps.

Yeah. Oh, look at that toilet. Yeah, she, yeah. It's all, oh, look, it's a truculate poo. Oh, God.

Somehow it's grosser when I hear you say it as opposed to when I say it. Oh, yeah, see, look at all the corn of my poop here. It's all over Joe Thoran's spirit, see?

Oh, the minions are back. Oh, oh, look that. Brent Burns is going down on a minion again. Oh, see? They should focus more on winning. Yeah. But, like, yeah.

but, like, there's no, like, Sydney Crosby's already got a cup. I mean, Malkin's got a cup, Flurry's got a cup, he's going to get his second cup as a mascot, basically, in a playoffs, even though he was good in the regular season. But just if the penguins lose this series, they're going to

have a really good chance at it next year. Like, both of the guys on this team aren't going anywhere. This is probably it for the sharks. Like, they've kind of, I don't want to say, fluke their way to the Stanley Cup final, but, like, they've had things kind of really go their way. Last ride.

playoffs. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So to me, like, you want to have Joe Thornton score four goals at some point in the final. You want that, you want that junk to come out and be on national TV. You want to have Pierre talk about where that penis originated in college and junior. Oh, let me tell you, Joe Thorin's penis in North Dakota University in 1992 had a really good weekend there. You want to hear those stories.

So I just, there's no wrong answer, but I think the sharks are the more right answer. Doc and Eddie, his balls are dribbling along the ice. And so. And so look at his balls. Silence. Silence. I'm going to take the opposite tact here. I want the Penguins to win even more now.

I pick the Sharks and Six. I still think it could maybe happen. They're going to go home and they're going to play really well. But now I'm really into the idea of Sidney Crosby being the best player in the NHL and then like excelling at the right time, doing it on the biggest stage. Like it's so rare that star player. can influence a game other than goalies in this dumb league. And like he's doing it.

Like he orchestrated the play for the game two game winner. He's picking up points left and right. Like it's cool to see that happen. And the other thing too is that like, yeah, I totally want Phil to win. I totally want Phil to win. He's American too, so that's better for us. It's better if Phil Kessel becomes like, you won't win the cons much. but he becomes like this huge driving force to get his team a championship and then he's not on the World Cup.

I think that would be funny. Well, that's the thing, though. It's not funny. It's fucking stupid that he's not on the World Cup team. I mean, we know this for a fact, right? Like, you know, as a proud American, it baffles me to no end that we have a World Cup team that is built to win a one-nothing game against Canada. and then that's it. Like, that's the reason it exists.

It's not to have the most talented offensive players in the team. It's simply to hope and pray that we beat Canada won nothing. And on top of that, you have Crying Dean Lombardi, talks about loyalty all the time. Who's more loyal to Team USA than the wonderful Phil Kessel, who always shows up because his teams never get in the playoffs will never get beyond the first round when they do. So he's always there.

He's representing the team. He's like Jack Johnson in that matter. Except he's really good at what he does. He's not bad. So why not reward a loyal guy who's good at putting pucks in the head? It's just stupid. And again, like here's the thing with the Team USA business and the World Cup. First of all, it's a marketing ploy of a tournament.

So just put guys that are going to entertain. You've got Canadians are going to be spending $7,000 on tickets. They're not spending $7,000 to see Ryan Callahan block a shot. Okay? No. And if you don't win the World Cup, Cup, guess what happens? Nothing. Nothing. But the other thing, too, is just like,

you know, we're talking about the American dream. We're talking about the fact that, like, like, think of it this way. What is America to you, Dave Lozo? To me, it's a place where you are rewarded for merit,

you're rewarded for hard work. You're rewarded for your abilities. And and it shouldn't be a place where you're simply rewarded for who you know and and and and and and and and and and and and and things like that and to me when phil kessel gets left off of team USA it's because there's a bunch of guys who john torturella coached and that you know dean lombardi drafted that are on that team and it makes me sad for

phil and it makes me sad for the american dream well here's what america means to me greg america is fat people with guns who are intolerant of non-white people. And when you think about it, Phil Kessel is sort of in the minority in the world of hockey in that he's really good and fun. And what's more American than finding somebody who's a creative, unique person who has a lot to offer the world and then just crushing them out because you don't understand them, that to me is the heart of America. So it kind of makes sense that Phil Kessel is not. Completely makes sense.

All right, listen. Yeah. Doc Emrick time. Go Penguins. F the sharks. And we'll be back after this with your listener mail here on Puck Soup. All right. So I'm here with Doc Emric. We're sitting at the glass in console energy center. I know. Why do people do that? Do they think they distract the players? I think they distract the players. I think they distract the players. I mean, that's that least my thing. It must be an outlet. It must be fun to do. I mean, that was pretty good right there. My theory has always been that it's usually people that sit downstairs but don't normally sit downstairs.

Like company tickets. Right. You know, they get it from their relative. Yeah. And they're not usually downstairs. Garrett Cole last round. Yeah. Yeah, Mike Tomlin.

I mean, they're normally not able to be here because of work obligations, but they were here. Sean Michaels. Yes. Yeah, now, he's used to noise. You ever been in one of those rings and walk across it? Like, like actually in the ring? When I was in the minors in Portland. they had a wrestling ring sat up and our five-foot five-inch trainer,

Sudzie Settlemeyer, whose son is still the equipment guy in Philadelphia, Derek, walked across the ring and then ran across the ring, and it's amazing the noise it makes. Because it's designed to make a lot of noise. Just running across it makes a lot of noise. Designed to make a lot of noise in the sense that it has the springs underneath, right? So it kind of cushions the blow as they fall into that? I guess so.

Where's your favorites? I mean, you have a certain area, broadcast area, that you've got to be in. But if you were here as a spectator, where would you want to sit? This is steep. So you can be in the upper tier and you're okay. Yeah. I don't know.

I think I really like for identification purposes on players, and we're spoiled here because they let us sit where those cameras are right next to them. Yeah. And that's 20th row, and I always say for identifying players, 20 rows are closer. Even if you're way up high on the seventh floor above is still fine. you're a little farther back here when you're on top here. But to watch a game, I like the corners, and I would say the last row of the lower in the corner would be perfect

because you not only get first shot at the concessions and the washrooms, but you also are in the corner and you're low and you're well above the glass where you can watch plays develop. And except the nearer corners, you're able to see all the corners, and you can watch plays unfold coming at you were going away from you. So as a fan, that's what I'd choose. It would be 117 in the last row there. See, I would go, I would go maybe 220 last row,

like middle of the ice, highest level. Section 417 in Washington was always where you used to watch games when I was in D.C. 417, were you a college guy then? I was a college guy then at Maryland, yeah. So you had to pick what you could afford as a college. I also, again, like we were talking about off the top, I had the benefit of having some friends that had pretty good seats that couldn't use them all the time.

So, you know, upper deck, but center ice is where I would like to sit. Busy, wealthy friends, that's what you want, right? In life, yes. That's the best, right. Nothing wrong about that. But when I was a kid at the Meadowlands at Brendan Byrne, like my dad would buy the cheapest seats available. So we would, I mean, the upper, you were talking about steep.

The upper deck at the meadowlands, like, by the time you got to the top, it felt like you could reach, like, just touch the sun. Yeah. You were so high. It was a bit too steep. And you were also far, you were kind of far back there, too. I had to do a couple of radio games once upon a time. And when I was working with Sal Messina doing Rangers games in New Jersey from the Halo.

And boy, that was a long way up. I'll never forget one night, Sal put his arm on the monitor, and it had channels 2 through 13 on it. And he inadvertently hit one of the channels, and we had a cowboy movie. Come on instead of the replay of a goal. It's funny what you remember. There you go. Now, he is a red light, Messina, and he has all of his various sayings and stuff. One of the things I wanted to ask you is when you're calling a cup final and you're getting towards the moment,

the moment in which the cup will be secured by the win of these teams, do you have different scenarios in mind as to what you'll say when they win? No. No, because what happens so much, now, there are a couple of exceptions, 06 and 07 because in 07, the Ducks had it over the senators with lots of time left. And so you had a minute to a minute and a half near the end of the game to talk about the season that the Ducks had had that led them to this. We had paid off Ottawa already because they'd had a great year. You can't be in the final and not have a great year. And with the hurricanes the year before,

even though when William scored into the empty net, that made it pretty secure by two goals. And so we had time to talk about some of their slogans that they had on T-shirts and what their motto was for the year and do it that way and kind of build to it. But then you had the play across the street here the next year that went wide just after the horn. Yes. And then the next year you had the save with a second half to go. All you do is say so-and-so wins the Stanley Cup. And there's nothing too creative about it.

There's no point in trying to chase down an Al Michaels moment because that was done in 19. 180. None of us can replicate it. There's no point in trying. But you do try to at least capture the moment. And in my case, I try to say as little as possible because if it's at home, as this last one was, you want the crowd to have a lot of yellow. Right. And this last conference final was clinched at home, and you wanted the crowd to yell a lot. What was your favorite final to call? I mean, I know for the finals that I've covered, it wasn't the best gameplay. but the Boston to Vancouver final for all of the ancillary stuff, all the drama, all the, I mean, we had flashpoints of violence, the suspensions, and the Longo versus Thomas, and Vancouver trying to burn their city down after the final game. Like, for me, that was the most epic, like, operatic cup final that we had, but action-wise, not the greatest. But what was your favorite one to cover recently? Gee, that's, you know, I've liked a lot of them.

That one stands out in my mind because there were no villains going in, and after the first two games, it was clear across the United States, the Canucks were villains. They were biting fingers, and then they were, they were offering fingers to be bent. You remember that? I mean, all of a sudden, they came across as real goofs. It was so bizarre. Yeah, it was. I really liked the Detroit-Pittsburg back-to-backs because it was the twilight of a lot of great Detroit careers.

Yeah. And we were seeing, we were seeing those guys as we were seeing the story. start of what looked like a long run for the penguins young kids that didn't turn out to be that. It turned out to be two years and now, now. So I like those, and it wasn't because we could drive between the cities, although that was something unique when you have the east and the west and you could drive five hours or four and a half if Eddie was at the wheel to get back and forth. But there was a lot about that Chicago, Boston one that I liked.

I don't think Bruins fans like the outcome, but it was shot. sure, wacky at the end. Yeah. When you get two goals late like that, that'll stand out in my mind for a long time. And I think the first time that I got to call a final, we went seven games in 87. I was working with ESPN then. And Bill Clement and I got to do the seventh game. Hextall had been just brilliant.

He had been wacky and violent. And he'd already been suspended for next year. Yep. But of course, you can't take a goalie out of this year, right? You can't. And he had been sparkling. The Flyer scored the first goal from behind. the end line, I think it was Murray Craven,

and then the Oilers, as the Oilers would, came back and finally Anderson scored in the third period, and it was going to be at 3 to 1. But I think just that was the greatest team I saw. Which one, the Oilers? The Oilers of 87. It was the greatest team I saw, because they were all together still.

And then after that, it was the unified team in 92 in the Alberville Olympics, and I think 17 out of the 23 guys came to the U.S. within two or three years after that or to the NHL. Because communism had fallen that fall as they were preparing and so they were the unified team

but they were terrific. I mean, you just think of all the guys that were on that team. And then after that, I thought one of the Red Wing teams, the one in 2008. Oh, 08, okay. Yeah, not one of the late 1990s teams

but I thought that one in 08 because they had all of those guys together and then gradually after 09, guys were going to retire. And, you know, the grind line wasn't going to be together. The goaltending wasn't going to be the same and all of those factors. Did you call Forsberg's penalty shot or shootout in the Olympics that year? Yeah, that was the first time, I believe, that the Olympics had gone to that 10-minute overtime.

They'd had to. Yeah. To the 10-minute overtime and then the shootout. Remember Stefan Rishi was telling me, the Devils had a practice that Sunday morning. and they postponed going back out after the ice flood for the second half of the practice so they could all watch the shootout. John Davidson was brilliant.

I was working with him on it, and all you do is call score, and then he takes care of the replays. And I listened to it about 10 years ago in the summer, and I sent John an email because finally we'd graduated to email communication by that time. And I watched it one summer. I never usually watched things over again, but I watched it one summer preparing for a speech,

to a women's group about international hockey. And I sent him an email telling him how brilliant I thought he was in doing all of those shootout attempts. And I believe Jean-Eve Waugh was going to be the next guy to try for Canada if it didn't work out. Wow. That's the name. Yeah, isn't it? And I believe it was...

It was well before NHL participation right there. Yeah, because we had the list of guys that were going to shoot. Yeah. I think he was the next in line for... It's crazy to think about, like, I know we could be easily right back there, depending on what they do with these Olympics coming up. But, like, it's crazy to think about there was a time when if you were an American hockey fan, you were pinning your hopes on Mark LaForest as your goaltender versus anybody that was in the league at that time. Like, it's crazy to think that it's become such the norm that there was a time that the Olympics existed, the Olympic hockey existed without NHL players. I remember when I was in Philadelphia, Mark was the backup.

and he was a great backup because he was always keeping the guys loose because Mark was wacky. And I remember with apologies to Joyce, and this Joyce Clymer that wrote the poem, I think that I will never see a man as weird as this guy, Trees, because that was his nickname. Remember the poem to Trees? I don't know who wrote it. I can't remember now. It was American lit. It was half a century ago. But, yeah, Mark was wacky. I saw him about two years ago. He still has the brush cut like he did before. But the last I remember seeing him, he was a backup one night, and I walked by the dressing room at the spectrum,

and they played the loud music. And he had his goalie stick, and he had adhesive tape, white tape, strapped over his back from one into the goalie stick to the other, and he was doing the air guitar with a goalie stick, because that was how he got the guys ready. He wasn't going to play, so he was plenty happy. Oh, that's tremendous. Well, you've mentioned Clement, you've mentioned JD,

you work with Eddie, you work with Pierre, What do you need? What do you require from a color commentator in sort of a general sense to do what you do? I don't know. You know, guys that really care, and the guys I've mentioned all did, that they come there and they like finding out stuff. And just for example, J.D. was unique in the way that he prepared. Every guy had their own way.

And Bill Clement would come up and he'd tell me two or three things that he thought were interesting to get in. John would go down in the hallway, and he would stand in the hallway at whatever arena we were, and he'd put his one foot up against the wall, and he'd just lean there, and equipment guys and players and owners and coaches would wander by, and they'd just stop and talk, and he'd chat, and they'd learn something. As soon as they'd go, and things quieted down, he'd duck around the corner, and he'd make notes on this yellow-lined legal-sized paper. Then what he would do, after he'd been in the hallway for half hour, 45 minutes,

he would come up to the booth and those yellow sheets that he had would be folded in little strips about two inches wide. There would be one strip for one team, one strip for the other team, and one strip for anything generic, like league-wide or anything else. And he would pick out a couple of things that he'd like to get in. And he said, and this was, you know, we were doing Fox at that time, This was in the era when we were first starting to get newspapers on the Internet. And he said, I have to come up with something fresh because if you're a fan of a team, you've already read everything on the Internet about that team for the day.

That's a really good point. And John said, I've got to have something fresh. And John was so trustworthy that people would give him information that they knew he would use. He wouldn't ambush them. And he had this phrase that he probably didn't make up. but it was it's a marathon and not a sprint you know I could use this and and ambush somebody and everybody'd say gee John Davidson came up with this but I'd never have that source again yeah and there's got I mean boy you talk about temptation now for guys that are in that spot

getting that information out as quickly as possible I know because it's all about speed well and it's all about the different if you're an analyst you also now by by virtue of what your bosses look for have to be an insider right you know and that's the thing and you're an insider by getting that on Twitter as quickly as you possibly can. That's a really, that's a, that was, that was his observation at the time. And of course, he was, he was changing with the time. Just heard from John a couple of days ago, he has his farm team, Columbus farm team, in Lake Erie, Cleveland.

The monsters. Yeah, the monsters are in the final now. And maybe in another hour we'll learn that they're going to play Hershey in the Calder Cup final because they're playing in Toronto now, and Hershey's up three games to one. but he said we're we're a character team he mentioned Newberry and a couple of other guys but you see that's not frowned on the American Hockey League

major major penalties do occur in the HAL Does it trip you out to see JD running a team No I mean he's one of those guys that we always thought could But at the same time you know You know as a guy I'm 39 now I definitely grew up with John as a Rangers announcer As the national announcer and now He's a guy running it

basically running his second team. He's on a second team now. Yeah, he is. No, he's gone into that role, and he's perfectly believable in that role because he's got authority, and he, you know, most goaltenders will, you know, I always thought catchers and goaltenders had an advantage when it came to being analysts because the game was always in front of them. Right.

Bad coaches. Yeah, maybe so. Yeah, I haven't thought about that. Catchers might be. Not a lot of great. catcher coaches. Yeah. But in hockey we had, we had, well, we had Ron Lowe, I think was a coach, right,

for a little bit. Emile Francis, but that's a long time back. Glenn Hanlon. Yeah. We've talked, and of course Patrick Juan now, and there's a myriad of opinion about whether or not he's a quality coach. Yeah. But yeah, it was always, you know, goaltenders for whatever reason, didn't translate to being great

head coaches. And my theory was always that much like, you know, punters and kickers and other and catchers and other specialized, physicians, they have a hard time. There's a hard time for a skater hearing from a goalie, here's what you need to do to do your thing, to play your position. Well, that's why goalie coaches are so essential, because in the same way, a goalie is not going to sit and listen to a head coach, tell them what to do, because what do you know, you're a skater? It's a big divide.

No, no, no, that's right. And I think that, you know, the same thing can be said about brilliant players that have elite skills being coaches. Not that they wouldn't ever be good at it, But there is a roadblock they have to overcome in that the game came easy for them because they were so skilled. And to a – I'll never forget – I asked Mike Paluso once when he was – he was this – he was the crash line left winger for the Devils when they won the Stanley Cup. And I said, what's the most frustrating thing about playing hockey? he said when there's a play to be made out there and I know how to make it

but I can't I can't get there or I can't once I get there I can't make the play that I see that if I could do it if I could make it it might help us and that's just that's the frustrating part and I would think that a skilled player might not be able to appreciate the frustration

that a guy that of limited skill would have let alone a guy of average skill because he's always had But anyway, that's a theoretical thing that's fun to kick around, but you probably have a commercial to go to. Right? Well, I'll ask you two things here. Okay. Before we go, and again, you've given us too much time as usual.

Tell me the best thing about working with both of your regular cohorts. Some of the best thing about working with that old check on the air, besides knowing more than you possibly want to know about horse racing. Well, it helps to, you know, he brings a sense of humor to it. You know, he's right next to me. Yeah. You know, the good thing is that I know and like Eddie a lot, and our families know each other. And those are things that, you know, 10 years ago, his kids were little. Now they've all moved away from home.

They're in school and all of that. And you watch a family grow up. And so you have an appreciation during that whole time. And really the same with Pierre. He has a child now since I first met him that is a nationally recognized youth hockey player. And the other young lady is a rower who is probably going to wind up in an Ivy League school in another couple of years. And they were just little tots when I first started meeting Pierre and Melanie, and the same with Diana. But aside from that, you know, with Pierre, you never run the risk of running a player by him.

that he hasn't seen play before because of all the world juniors. But with Eddie, he and I share a fascination with baseball. Obviously, he roots for the wrong team, except this year they're the right team because he's a Cubs fan. So we have that that we can kid around about. I remember when Andrea Kramer came in with HBO Sports on opening night in Chicago, and she stood politely outside. She said, I'm going to let you guys get prepared for the game. So she came back in and said, okay, now you've been 15 minutes.

What have you talked about? I said, we talked about baseball, horse racing, how the kids did over the summer, what all they were doing, what our dogs did over the summertime. And she said, not about hockey? No, no, we talked about that this morning. No, we're basically loosening ourselves up for the game, but no, we haven't talked about hockey at all. The ambient noise of the Zambotingway. Two things real quick. This game is fun.

And doing this is fun. And that's, we come to play. we don't come to work. And we're in the frat. The only difference is we don't have to go to class. What is the thing? Pierre can be kind of a divisive guy, but tell me what your favorite thing about Pierre is.

What's the thing that people should value about Pierre? Well, the fact that he knows, he's watched all these guys play, and he knows where they're from. And he has a job that's a real challenge would be for me, in that he is coming up to coaches during sometimes the worst moments of the game. Right? Right. Yeah.

And he's dealing with him. He's asking one or two questions. And the interviews are sometimes imperfect because they're spontaneous. They're in the middle of the game when they're doing what they get paid for or what they could get their next lopped off for, coaching a team. And so that's hard. And then doing the interview after the game. I think he picks really good guys after the game.

And normally he will settle, if a goalie's had a wonderful performance, he will settle on a goaltender. some of Tim Thomas's interviews when the Bruins had the run to the championship were magnificent because you knew the guy was he was going to give you something but was not necessarily conventional. But you had to find it. And I think that's the thing that maybe people don't appreciate because you just assume anybody holding a microphone is doing an interview. But Pierre really picks his interview subjects well. One of my favorite interviews that he did was during, and it was because he had the coach, he had Mike Babcock.

And at that time, in the early years, we were doing some of these live. We'd take the commercial break and come back. Yeah, people don't know. He usually cuts that interview during a commercial. Exactly. And then it's played afterwards. Right. We have a minute 40, I think, in the commercial break, something like that.

And Pierre does two questions, and usually it's done in a minute or 40 seconds, something like that, because we have to allow time to come back. So anyway, at this time, it's a Joe Lewis Arena in Detroit. Mike's the subject. It's the first period. The game is scoreless, but the Red Wings aren't playing well. And I'll never forget, Piers plays back in, and Pierre's asking Mike, why this isn't going so well? And you know, Mike always had something in mind. He says, I'll tell you right now what we're doing, we're not playing the puck up the boards.

We're playing it right through the middle. At that point, at the defensive left circle, the legend, Nick Lidstrom passes right up the middle. and Mike without missing a beat says, and there, our best player just did the same thing. All right, finally, Doc. That's what's fun about this. Live is spontaneous, and sometimes it's not perfect. And as Al Michael said, when he accepted the Lifetime Achievement Award,

this isn't Hollywood. We don't get 25 cracks at it. We only get one. Finally, Doc, you mentioned you worked on Fox. I forgot about that. What's your opinion of the Globehuck? What was your take on the globe? It was a very earnest effort on their part, and it cost them a lot of money.

And they thought it was going to make a difference in people appreciating the sport. David Hill had a very honest ambition of trying to help more people, appreciate the sport, and help ratings. As it turned out in three years' time that we had the glowing puck, it did not do that. It did not hurt the ratings. It did not help. And so by the time we got to years four and five, the glowing puck disappeared. The one thing that it did do, I think, was inspired with the Comet Trail and the miles per hour that you would see on slap shots. That was something that had staying power and others picked it up.

And you cannot deny when Fox started putting the score and time on the screen for NFL, they started something that the others had to do. And that was, I suppose, a risk because you want people to stay, you don't want them to go away. and the way to get them to stay is to not tell them the score, right? And there was the score right up there. I worked with somebody at CBS that once said he felt that the remote control was gender-related. Women use the remote control to find out what's on. Yes. Men use it to find out what else is on.

In my own experiences, Doc, this is absolutely unequivably true. It is with mine. My wife and I'll sit there in the evening. I have a small set in the corner where I sit with the dogs and she'll watch Home and Garden, and I'll have a game on, and it'll be either hockey or baseball now that we're into the pirate season, and the dogs are asleep, and she's enjoying the Homan Garden, and I've got the, and it's constant, every time there's a half-inning,

or every time we go to commercial on hockey, I'll go somewhere else. And it's sick because I don't even intend to go watch the other thing. Right. I just want to know it's there. Right. What's on HP? I just, now I know it's there. Yeah.

In case. Right. break glass if this is not entertaining. That's right. That's right. Doc Amrick, you're a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you so much. Thank you.

So, welcome back. Great, great stuff from Doc Emmerich, of course. A man, a myth of legend, a pirates fan. Did you know that here in Pittsburgh where the Stanley Cup finals being played? There are pirates that play baseball. Sharks? Pirates? Next.

He got the pocket and he tried to walk through him, much like Bob. walk, the great pitcher from the 1980s and 90s on your Pittsburgh Pirates. Speaking of walks, Neil Walker is now met. But he hasn't walked in his last 32 at bats.

He tried to enter the zone, but Burns leaned on him, much like Jose Lean, the second baseman for your Pittsburgh Pirates. Jose Lean's the best one to go to and we do that. It really is. All right. Before we get to

to listener mail, a little bit about Gary Bettman, who held court here during the finals to talk about many, many subjects. Two that we want to hit on the Olympics and expansion. First, the Olympics. A really interesting thing happened for the NHL. For the last year, they've been talking about all the things they want to get out of the IOC and the double IHF to get the NHL players in Pyongchang for the Olympics. And squeeze and squeeze and squeeze. Because for those I don't know, the NHL wants nothing to do with the Pyong Chang Olympics, but they want everything to do with the Beijing Olympics.

But you can't really skip one to go to the other. It's either like do both or not do both, right? So the really funny thing is like they've been talking about all the extra shit that they want from these two organizations. And then Batman came out the other day and he's like, well, actually, here's the thing. Like there's a new guy in charge of the IOC. and he's basically like, we're not going to pay for any professionals to come to the Olympics. So now the NHL is like having to get back the stuff they already had before they ask for the new shit. So it's really not looking good for the NHL in the Olympics.

It seems like it's not going to happen. And I'm fine with it because I don't want to have to, I don't even know what the time differences, but I know it's going to be a weird time to watch hockey in the middle of the week. It's probably not good for the league in terms of promoting the game. and all that because of when the games are going to be played. So if they have the World Cup and they eventually get ads on the jersey of the World Cup and they're going to make a ton of money off of that, it probably doesn't make any financial sense to send the players there.

But it's going to be interesting to see which players are going to be like, well, screw it. I don't care. I'm going anyway. Try and stop me. But I don't know. I get it. I get where they're coming from.

But as a fan, it's like the one time where I can get super jingoistic and nationalistic and just like root for America because it's, it's America and now I'm not going to have that anymore. I'm going to have the dumb World Cup where they're going to take a stupid team that's not good because the guy running gets a dumb idiot and the coach is a dumb idiot. We're so stupid and bad. We're going to get killed. We're going to lose the team Europe for God's sake, Greg.

By the way, I really appreciate how you said players and not Russians as far as who's going to Shanghai, the NHL, and go to their national team instead. Shanghai, the NHL for a Pyong Chang or Beijing Olympics. There you go. Way to do it. Because that's the thing. Like, if Canada and the U.S. are both like, okay, we're going to send, like, junior players, right?

Like, as if the Russians aren't going to be, like, calling. Like, like, basically putting the family of every NHL player in, like, a gulog until they come back and play for the national team in the Olympics. Like, come on, you know that's going to happen, right? Right, like, Alex Sebastian's going to get, like, a ransom note that says, like, we have your mother and father locked up. If you don't go win the gold medal, you're not going to get them back. All right, fine, I'll go play, I guess, if I have to.

Which I believe is the plot of Taken Five. Now, the other thing that happened is that Betman talked about expansion, and here's where things get real fun. There's going to be an expansion vote of some sort in June before the NHL awards, which coincidentally are in Las Vegas. The thing that's happened here with expansion is that there seems to be the vibe that they're not going to do it for the 2017-18 season. They could do it for 18-19, or they could not do it at all. What's the vibe you get from an expansion right now? I feel like it's going to be Vegas for sure because they've basically given them to go ahead to build the arena and everything. So I don't think they would get to that point without Vegas getting assurances that it was going to happen.

Well, Quebec built an arena too, though. Yeah, but I mean, yeah, but Quebec built that arena before that, like Vegas handed over half a billion dollars or they're going to hand it over. They've already, yeah, you know, they could fuck them, couldn't they? It could. It could. But that's, but they see, they won't be fucked though because, like, they'll get an NBA team there. That's the thing. Like, I think Vegas is going to be fine.

Like, they'll get the Raiders at some point. They'll get an NBA team at some point. They don't necessarily need the NHL. The NHL needs Vegas. I think being the first team in that market, it's only a good thing for them. And I think it's going to happen. I just, I'm really questioning whether it's going to happen, though, on the timeline that the ownership in Vegas, this guy Bill Foley, this billionaire, wants it to be on.

because I think there's a chance they might defer it, which obviously is going to be fucking stupid, because then you're going to get a bunch of guys that are going to know what the rules are for the expansion draft, and they're going to monkey around with no move clauses and things like that to figure out who gets protected and who does it and who, you know, all this rigmarole. I feel like the sooner the expansion draft, the better.

I think it's going to be 2018-19. I don't know if they're going to have it by 2017. 18 and who knows. I always go back to the whole the stupid friggin' vote in Phoenix or Glendale, wherever the hell it was, when the NHL was super duper ready to go to Seattle

and then they voted to get the team there. I still think they're holding out for Seattle to do something. I think that's in the back of their minds too, is they'd probably rather have a franchise there than anywhere else. They totally would. They totally would. And of course, the X factor is like a team like Carolina, for example, as we found out that their owner, Peter Carmanos,

is being sued by his own children. for borrowing money for his hockey team against their trust fund. Yeah, that's always an interesting Thanksgiving set up when you're carving the turkey. And it's like, hey, dad, can I get some gravy? And by gravy, I mean the $8 million I lent you, you son of a bitch. I hate you. I'm glad mom left you. But also, stuffing, too, would be nice, please.

Thank you, Dad. I love you. Oh, God. Dad, these cranberries are delicious. I mean, not as delicious as the $100 million you stole from our tree. trust fund to pay for your losing hockey team, but I mean, pretty delicious in the grand scheme of things. Dad, I asked you a minute ago to pass me to turkey and you have to pass me to turkey.

Why are you stalling? Are you trying to stall the way you're stalling on my payment for Eric Stahl's contract the last year that he played there, huh, huh, dad? Hey, dad, can you grab the other side of this wishbone? I'm going to wish that I get the hundred million dollars you've borrowed against our trust fund back. Oh, look, I ended up with more of the bone. Oh, you took the skin off the turkey the way you.

took the skin off of my child. You can't possibly afford his vaccinations because of you now. That's that. All right. Great father, you are. I still think it's going to be 17, 18, and I still think it's going to be just Vegas. The Quebec thing is so confusing. Maybe they go for the money.

I don't know. But I agree with you at the end of the day. They'd much rather have Seattle than Quebec. They'd much rather it. And I still don't know how Vegas is going to work long term. I know I've read every single thing possible. and how the transient population doesn't matter because they have enough people there to blah, blah, blah, and sell the tickets to all these corporate people for the suites. But I hope it works.

I want it to work. I love to be able to be like, hey, I'm in Vegas working and writing about hockey. I moved here because I really want to, I really love being in the desert and watching. I just, I don't know how it's going to work, man. I don't. I think the NHL probably feels the same way because I feel like we're well beyond the point where we should know, you know. I don't know. All right.

You are such great listeners and great supporters of this podcast. You send in your questions to the Puck Soup Twitter, and we read them on the air. Questions like this one from number one Shorx fan, has Crosby reached peak insufferability? Is Rinaldo-esque in how he made the game-winning goal about his genius to draw up the play? again, I don't think that's insufferable. I think he did draw up the play. And I'm, again, it's okay. I know that Crosby is divisive, but can't we just be happy that like, that he's making it work?

No. No. We can't. We have to hate him for everything he does for as long as he lives. And I, I get, here's another reason why we should root for the sharks is because I guarantee you that somewhere on the internet, there's this huge stash of crying Jordan Crosby's that we have to see. And they're not going to come out otherwise because they're going to be because the people that that hate Crosby the most are going to do the best crying Jordan's for him.

We have to see those. I do kind of miss when Crosby first came into the league and like the big thing was how will the teams that hate the penguins insult him the best? And I don't mean like the Cindy Crosby stuff. I mean like when the Capitals fans used to Photoshop his picture on it, on a baby and a crib and how, like, people used to put stickers of Cindy Crosby in the bottoms of urinals. Like, that was a special time in the NHL.

Like, I'm all for the fan hatred. I just, I just, I want to get to a point where I can watch a hockey game or, like, an intermission and not have to hear him ripped on for something stupid. You know what I mean? Like, I think a second Stanley Cup would give him, like, more sort of, like, a thicker outer shell where, like, guys like Jeremy Ronek won't go on TV and say, well, if you worked as hard as Jonathan Druent, maybe he'd be better off. I don't want to hear that anymore.

So that is a reason to root for the, that's what I mean about the series. There's no real reason to root against anybody. No matter who wins, we as neutral fans are going to have something good come out of this for us. Dave wants to know, what's the most Canadian thing I can do on my bachelor party in Montreal? Sadly, curling is out of the question in August. Oh, that's the first thing I was going to say was go curling. You can do lawn bowling. That's kind of like curling.

The first thing, I mean, if you're going to Montreal and you want to do an authentic Canadian experience, and say exactly what you do. They have horse tartar in Montreal. What's that? It's exactly as it sounds. It's horse meat, but tartar, like uncooked horse meat. So go ahead. Challenge your friends.

Have a grand old time. Well, if you're going to go to Montreal, make sure that you have somebody to show you around the city who speaks French. You can't have any English people leading the way and talking for you. You have to have someone that speaks French. Make sure that you get rid of all your English-speaking friends. Make sure all your friends can speak French because otherwise, what's the point of being in Montreal? You need to have all French-speaking people around you at all times. And when you lose, you should blame the NHL for it because everyone's out to get you.

So what Lose is essentially saying is go to club soup, El-Sex. Oh, did I ever tell you about the one time I went to that place? No, please do. So a couple of the highlights, the number one highlight was beautiful naked women dancing on a stage because that's what goes on there. Point two, one girl who went there looked like my friend's wife's sister. So that was like an added bonus. Hello. Yeah, that was great.

But the third best part was there were like a bunch of Montreal Expos who were hanging out there at that particular time. And we saw Brad Wilkerson and Wilfredo Cordero hanging out at super sexy. So to this day, like me and all my friends. like whenever we talk about going back to Montreal, blah, blah, blah, they get a team there. It's always like, should we call up Brad Wilkerson and Will Corderlo? And see, they were there for hours. They hung out for hours, Will Corderero and Brad Wilkerson.

So that's... Now, see, when you were telling, I'm saying Expos, I was thinking like Andres the Cat Galaraga, I was thinking maybe Gary Carter and his Jufro. I thought all of those guys would be there. But no. No, it was, it was, it was that last Expos team. I think that was in Montreal.

And it was, I think there were other players there, but those were the only two that we could tell about. looking at him who are they? I was really hoping you were going to tell me that Tim Raines was there and that Jonah Carey then said that he should be in the Hall of Fame of Strip Clubs and wouldn't rest until he's inducted. Right, even though Tim Rains has really bad numbers in the strip club and he's not pulling down the same amount of money as the other dancer,

he still should be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, he's kind of the poor man's Ricky Henderson, his strip clubs, but we digress. Right, right, right. What does Puck Soup? This is from C-3 Schmidt. What does Puck Soup think about Hitchcock coming back? Can his grinding styles still win? a cup. What did you think about Ken Hitchcock and the one and done, the one year, the one last

ride, then retirement with the St. Louis Blues? I would say his assistant coach is bailing right away, says everything you probably should have to say about that, where they, they're like, dude, no, I'm not coming back for another failed season and then having to look for a job next year. I'm going to start doing it now because I like a little more security than a one-year deal. I don't, I don't get what the blues are doing. I don't think, I mean, the blues really hit the wall against the sharks. Now, towards the end of that series, they couldn't skate, they had no legs. And I think that grinding style, it's like Tortorella with the Rangers, where they would

hit a wall at some point during the season. It's just a not a good, it's a lame duck coach. I don't, I don't think it's a good idea. It is kind of weird that this assistance left like that, right? It's like, it's like if Oceans 13 opened with Rusty and Don Cheadle both kind of fucking off, like being, we're not in on this one. It'd be kind of weird, right? Or like now you see me too.

And instead of Jesse Eisenberg, like it has like Michael Serra. And you're just like, wait a second. Why wouldn't Jesse Eisenberg come back for the sequel? Is it okay that I'm really excited about now you can see me too or whatever the hell it's called? No, it's actually really bad and embarrassing because the first one was really stupid and really not good. And the second one doesn't even have the same cast. They actually did. They changed the girls.

They got rid of Eila Fisher for the girl, from Master of Sex, who's in a bunch of stuff. She's in Hot Top Time Machine. I forget her name. Jennifer Jizzen. Oh, Jennifer Jismphism. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but listen, first of all, it's thieves that use magic, which is amazing.

They don't use magic. They use goofy CGI movie tricks. It's a thing, too. It's not like you're doing real magic tricks in the movie. It's just like a CGI thing where the card moves around. It's stupid, like Jesse Eisenberg disappears into it. So in a second. You're beef with this movie.

is that they're not all Ricky Jay and they're not actually doing official magic tricks on the movie. Yes. That's the whole point in the movie is that they're supposed to be magicians. So, like, can't they hire, like, you know how, like, in a hockey movie, they hire some guy to, like, choreograph all the skating. So they do real skating. They should hire a magician to do real actual magic stuff.

Yeah. Come on. This is very, you know, I would say 98% of movies involving cops don't have real cops. But, like, they're not, like, like, they're not, like, they're not, like, they're, like, That would be like going to see a cop movie. And when they're, like, attacking or they're going after, like, the bad guy, they're holding hot dogs in their hands instead of guns. You're just like, wait, wait, why is the guy giving up? He's only got a hot dog in his hand.

That's not a real gun. So is this why you're cool with the Pirates of the Caribbean films because Johnny Depp dresses like a pirate away from those movies? Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp, he's a pirate. Pirates of the Caribbean. Brought to you, bye. And first of all, outside of the magic being completely just ridiculously stupid, it was the most convoluted dumb, like, plot ever.

Oh, it was like one of those things were, like, the guy that you think is trying to catch him is actually in on it the whole time, and nothing makes sense because of it. And, like, Mark, Mark Ruffalo's out for revenge because his dad died during a magic trick where he threw himself over a friggin, you know, off a bridge and a safe that warped. Well, first of all, that's a safe that's not designed to go in the water for a human to break out of it. If you put yourself inside a fucking safe and you drown in it, that's not Morgan Friedman's fault. He didn't do that. The whole fucking movie was stupid.

You know, your brief flub of his name is beautiful because now all I could think of is a muffin shop called Mark Muffalo. Wait, what did I call? He said Mark Muffalo for a second. And it would be beautiful. like beautiful, you know, guys and they're like mid-40s come out. They serve you a muffin. They taught you about, you know, water policy. What's like to play Bruce Banner.

It would be great. So it's like a Mark Ruffalo themed muffin shop, Mark Muffalo. Actually, Mark Muffalo is Brent Burns' porn name when he's going down on minions. That's actually where that comes from. It's Mark Ruffalo's brother, but he has a hair lip. also also you're also you're also you're very too which is the fact that they hired Daniel Radcliffe to be the villain so like Harry Potter

is going to be the villain in a magic movie that's fucking great yeah dude you really should not go see that we shouldn't tell anybody you're going to go see that I'm so excited I hope it does extraordinarily well and then we can have thrilling conclusion to the now you can see me trilogy I can't wait to spoil that movie for everyone who's thinking

about going to see it go see it just a spoiler. Oh, you spoil the... What are you, Penn and Teller? Spoiling the magic tricks to everybody. That's right. I'm like the real-life magic movie spoiler guy. Actually, in this one scene, this is the scene where, like...

And first of all, and going back to the original movie, so the whole point of doing all that was so they could ride a horse and, like, a merry-go-round? Like, what the fuck was going on in the movie? Whoever did that movie... Were they also, like, stealing money and then, like, getting it to the people, like, Robin Hood style? Yeah, and, like, that very... nothing. Don't those people have to give the money back?

Like once they confirmed that money was... No, once you robin hood it to... It's in the Constitution. Once you robin hood it to somebody, they get to keep the money. Like that scene... Thanks a lot. Like that scene in Ocean's 13 when the power... Or Ocean's 11, actually, when the power goes out

thanks to the pinch. They... Like, everybody who grabs the chips and grabs the money at that point, they get to keep it. The Robin Hood rule. I'm so mad. Finally, this is from Robbins. Placanic, which is a great name, I suppose. Plechanitz?

Robot Plekinitz? Would the top five players in the league beat the bottom 10 players in a full game, i.e., a full 60 minutes for the top five, bottom 10 can change. So basically, so bottom 10 would mean like the dregs of the league, like the three minute of night guys.

All right. versus the top five players in the league. That's a really great question. So I assume we get the best goalie we want and then we stick the other team with a really bad goalie? Yeah, I think it would probably be they get a really bad goalie and plus the 10 worst players in the league. Fighters, cement skates, that whole thing. Yeah. I would take the five guys for sure.

I would, I would. I think the five guys could score a bunch of goals right away. And by the time they get tired, it would be too. late for the back. You see, because I think at the end of the day that you could take the 10 worst, this is almost like trading places. So can you take the 10 worst players in the league and teach them a defensive system to beat the best five players in the league? Baltimore, the poor futures. No, I would take the 10 worst players in the league because I think you could teach them a system.

And I also think that the five best players in the league are. only, like, even if you have like Duncan Keith and Crystal Tang, it's only like 30 minutes of ice time that they're going to play without feeling the effects of things, right? So I think the 10, I would take the 10. I would take the 10 worst players in the league over the top five players in the league assuming that, knowing the top five guys can't change. I think it, because I think of like my old hockey leagues that were like this where like you'd have a team that had a bunch of guys on it that couldn't change.

But like if you're a defenseman, like, it's. It's one thing to play 30 minutes in an NHL game where obviously shifts and stuff like that. But if you have like Sidney Crosby, like Tyler Sagan and Alex Hoveitchkin, just like cycling the puck nonstop in the offensive zone, if you're a tang and key, you can just kind of stand still at the blue line for a couple minutes and catch your breath. I think the team of five would win by like 20. I really do. I don't think it would be close.

How's your breath? What a stupid way to phrase that question, too? Fucking guy. All right. Well, that ends this episode, this long-distance dedication episode of Puck Soup. Me and my hotel room in Pittsburgh, I should tell you earlier, if you heard some banging on the wall, that was likely Dave Briggs from NBC being angry that I was podcasting at 2.30 in the morning in this stupid hotel. Or maybe Dave Briggs was just getting lucky.

You don't know. Maybe he was banging on the wall. Well, dude, he works with Hanson Carter and Jabby Ronek. He's lucky every night. But anyways, I hope this series is over. I miss home. I miss sneakers. I want to protect my house from maids drinking all of our booze. And so hopefully this series ends quickly. And also so I can get back to my life partner, Dave Lowe, so we can do this in person. And not for nothing. Don't call her the maid. She's my girlfriend now. So her name is Consuela, and we're very happy together.

And I want you to start treating her with respect. I certainly shall. And I look forward to seeing the security footage of your wedding as she takes a sip out of everybody's glass of champagne around the reception hall before the ceremony. She just, she just like bumrushes the stage of the church and just starts guzzling the line. Oh, I was cleaning it. Oh, it's the best. It's a single greatest. I was cleaning the bottle, she says, as we show her a picture of her with her lips

wrapped around. God. That's the, that's great. Just lie until you're actually presented with the evidence that shows you that you lie. Okay, you got it. Yeah, I know. I was sort of disappointed that she didn't carry it all the way through. And being like, her response to her response should have totally been, well, I'm a professional.

How do you know how to clean a vodka bottle? What I do is I pour it to my mouth and then I spit the vodka on the floor and I use that saliva of vodka combination to clean your apartment. It's like, it's in the group of. That's right. It's sort of how like you use gin inside of a martini glass to kind of sweeten it a little bit before you put it all. It's the same principle. Same principle. Wait, that was the first time you used her, right?

There wasn't like a couple other instances where, like, you got home and, like, sneakers seemed drunk, but you can figure out why she was, like, vomiting on the floor. No, she was the first and last time we used her to clean the apartment. Well, there you go. Lesson learned. Don't be Grey Poupon, eaten, Rolls Royce driving, you know, Nouveau-Rish and have a cleaning lady come. Get on your hands and knees and clean your bathtub yourself. That's today's lesson in life.

Yes, thanks for listening and thanks for, thanks for, you know, taking part in this late night after dark edition of Puckoo. Late night, come home. Jesus. This sucks. I know. Can I ever tell you that my theory about Blink 182 was that they were actually the real-life wild stallions from Bill and Ted and that they, one day their music would save the world? Like I felt like that was the thing I felt like whenever they broke up I said

They have to get back together because one day Their music will save mankind like wild stallions did You smoke way more than you ever let me know about Don't you? Like you get high a lot You just never like break it up to me High on the music of Tom Belong You're like

Dude I got an idea Blink 182 is wild stallions And let's use this group on the higher this cleaning lady and we'll set up a camera right and hold on we'll catch her in the act of kicking out of the bottle what do you say what do you say ruby i for one i for one welcome our new mark hopas overlords work sucks i know she left me a podcast by the bed surprises let's me know she's from bill and ted oh there you go it all comes full circle. All right. That's that's Puck Soup for this week. Thanks to everybody who's

supported the podcast with your reviews on iTunes by downloading it by being involved in the Puck Soup Reddit. I am Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports. You can follow me on Twitter at Wichinsky. You can bomb a book, take your eye off the puck. And of course, listening to my other podcast, The Hardcore Hockey Talk podcast with Super Smart Jeff Merrick called Merrick versus Wushinsky. Oh, and read the Puck Daddy blog too. Do that too. Yeah, you may have heard of that blog. It's mildly popular, right, Buck Daddy. It's kind of on the internet.

What's today? Today is, it's now Thursday. Oh, I'm going to have, I did a thing at Vice where I drafted the team Canada B team that every Canadian thinks is always going to win it all anyway because that's how good Canada is. They can have two gold medal winning teams. And I simulated it using this simulate website to see how they would do against all the other World Cup teams and the results may surprise you.

And after tonight, I kind of did some, I kind of got on my knees a little bit and performed on Sidney Crosby, the thing I wrote. Because I think he's really, I think he's really good and I think he deserved it. So by the time this gets up, by the time Katie actually puts us all together as we give this to her super later than usual, those two stories are probably beyond the internet somewhere. So go find them at the comeback advice. Yeah. And don't forget to watch the Stanley Cup final instead of the NBA final because hockey players are so much tougher.

Yeah, yeah. They, they, um. Please like my sport. Right. Like in hockey, if you get hit in the face with a puck, you just put on a visor and go back and play in a basketball. If you get hit in the face with a basketball. Basketball, if you get hit in the face with a puck during the basketball game, there's something really fucking wrong happening in your basketball game. You should probably call your local police.

and find out who's throwing punch to the basketball players because it's probably illegal. All right, that's it. Listen, everybody, thanks for listening. We'll be back soon next week. Thanks to Doc for his time. And that's all.

Good night, David. Do you sweet prince? Stay lit and be loyal, Greg. Bye. Now leaving nerdist.com.