Puck Soup - Stanley Cup Playoffs, Explained

Episode Date: April 13, 2017

Greg and Dave break down the Stanley Cup Playoffs, disagree a lot about their picks and then find out they have the same teams for the championship round. They go through the big coaching and management changes in Los Angeles, Dallas, Vancouver and Florida. They chronicle the weird sex case involving the Edmonton Oilers' owner, and even weirder policy on selling tickets to watch playoff games from the arena hallway. Plus, why Star Wars is about sex; Tinder, but for hockey fans; being podcasting consultants; masturbation habits in a friend's house; and reader mailbag questions on movie trailers, continental breakfasts and lonely people who roll solo to Disney. Brought to you by Zip Recruiter and Harry's Razors!

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and goals and saves and slap shots and goons we've got sportly commentary to what if you commute but we also cover movies TV shows it's and tunes it's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense I'm Greg Wichinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy blog and I'm Dave Lozo and when I count down on my other podcast I start from three not five why is that why not five? Why is that why not five? It's two seconds we're wasting of our lives to count down from five. It is two more... It's two more seconds of preparation to ensure that you get to do what you want to do. Like, for example, as you frantically use your phone to call up your picks as we do the Stanley Cup preview on Puck Soup this week...

I remember most of them. You're in Puck Soup, by the way. The extra two seconds on the countdown affords you the opportunity to do such things. Oh, here we go. I found it. Yeah, you found it. You did. Oh, wait. The comeback sent out of tweet.

That was my predictions. And? And there's just a screenshot of like a part of it. 2017 Stanley Cup playoff preview edition of Puck Soup. Where is it? My God, what a giant fucking jumble of a mess the seedings are this year, Dave Lozo. It's a problem. We went into the final weekend of the season with our hopes and dreams centered on battles of

Alberta and battles of Ontario and battles of California. Did we? And what we're left with is what I would respectfully call the same. kind of shit we would have gotten in the conference format. Like, Caps Leafs is exactly the kind of series we would have gotten in the conference format. It would be, it's two teams in different divisions, and one team just barely made it, and one team's kicking everybody's asses, and they don't have any history, they don't have any animosity, they go into it clean.

The only thing we know is that one team's really fast and young, and the other team is very disappointing all the time. Yeah. It's a kind of like Mish Mish Mashi. There's a lot of Mish Mish Mashi conference format matchups this year, I think. But they're not. It's still shitty. It's still shitty.

That Columbus has to play Pittsburgh and that... And that fucking Montreal's got to play the Rangers. No, that actually ends... I thought the same thing. That actually works out. That would have been a 4-5 match-up. Exactly how it would... No, but if you...

They're a division champion, though. They're a 2-seed. They would have been the... They would have played the 7 seed. They're a 4-seat. Who gives a shit that they won some shitty division? Because that's the way the playoffs work. It's a stupid not anymore?

Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm saying if they did it traditionally... 1, 2, 3, 2, 2, 7, right? I'm saying this. I'm saying the whole point of doing this fucking format is to get rivalry series. And we have two of them in the first round. We have the Blue Jackets and Penguins, if you can call it. That's a legit rivalry because, no, come on.

I know what you're going to say. It's like Rutgers Princeton and basketball. Like I care about it. No, no, nobody else does. No, no, I disagree with you. I completely agree with you that I just said I disagree with you. I completely, fuck, sorry. I agree with the idea.

These are not the matchups you are looking for. Your father wanted me to give you this cons might when you old enough. The whole movie's about dicks, by the way. You know that, right? He wanted to give it to him when he's old enough. It's a giant phallus that ignites. Yeah, the end of the movie, he has to fire his torpedoes into a small opening, and then there's a giant explosion.

The whole thing is done to impress a girl. That's every movie. No, but I mean, Star Wars got progressively worse when Lucas stopped thinking with his dick. So the Ewox are just like unshaven balls? No, that's when he stopped thinking. That's when he started making. Now I'm going to make teddy bears for my kids. Oh, okay.

Yeah, first one is like, oh, I really want to fuck this princess. And then the second one is like, oh, man, love never works out. He gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. And then the third one, it's like, I have kids now. I'm making teddy bears. And then he goes back to the beginning. And he's like, I want to put a child in the movie. And then, oh, shit, everybody hated the child.

the movie now I'll put monsters in a movie and then in the third one he's like ah fuck it Anakin's gonna kill all the kids okay so how does the incest in star wars translate to the blackest penguin series I'm glad you asked much like in Star Wars uh no one knew the incest was coming because they were just making it up as they went along and it was just like whoops like brand when like brandon do when like brandon dovinsky's sitting on cindy crosbie's face like we're going to find out like in round three that they're cousins Some woman comes running down from the upper neck. She's like, stop hitting him, stop hitting him.

Why, Mom? Because he's your brother. It's like, before game seven, John Tortorello is like screaming at his team and they're hiding from him and he goes, a sister. So, you got a twin sister, huh? You're going to go about your business. You're going to make love to your cousin. What, is she one of those whiners over there in Pittsburgh? Yeah, the Totter.

Tororella's now the Millbury who gets a shit. Yeah, yeah, see. I was going to say that's a legit rivalry because, like, you pointed out, like, Crosby hates Da Vinci, Torderella hates Crosby and Malkin. Like, there is some actual animosity besides the team is pissed off because all the Pittsburgh fans buy the tickets for home games paradigm that's also existing in the other rivalry series, which is the Blackhawks and Predators.

The two worst parts of the postseason hockey are the days... The end of it, obviously, because then it's the summertime and there's no more hockey. Between Monday and Tuesday. One fan base will always find another fan base as like Ticket Master page. Looks like this team isn't selling their tickets for enough money is the other team. There's that. And then there's this teams like Tampa Bay that would do it in Columbus that, hey fans, here's a special code.

Don't give it to the Penguins fans because we want to fill our building with you people. On the first one, you might as well just go ahead and say it. The Ducks haven't sold out their first home game. fucking Canada's teams have been sold out since 1987 for these games. They didn't even know they were going to exist. But they sold out all the games. You could fly to Washington and buy a ticket for the same prices just walking up to the arena in Toronto and getting a ticket

there. Fuck off. Sorry. Sorry we have more going on than Calgary does. And fucking Edmonton selling, first of all, I don't understand the concept of concourse tickets. Oh my God, I'm so happy you bought that up. For those who don't know, I saw that this morning. I didn't have a chance to write about it, but I'm glad you bought it up. The Edmonton Oilers are selling tickets for you to be inside of their arena and buy their concessions. And maybe get by a TV.

And maybe get by a TV, but you don't get to seat. You don't get to actually go into the arena part of the arena. You're buying a ticket to walk around the concourse. And like, think about it. It's like 80 bucks. It's not cheap either. And it's twofold. It's not even standing room.

It's like standing around in the concourse. course room and like it's a two-fold problem. The first is that like you're clearly doing it just to get somebody to buy a $12 beer that they otherwise would buy a $5 beer at the bar they'd be at watching the game on television but now you're going to have them you're basically turning your concourse into a sports bar. Yeah. Right?

But the bigger problem is I've not been to the new arena. I'm assuming the concourses are not the size of like Dallas airports. I'm assuming that they're like regulation arena concourses. Yeah. how much do you hit your own fans to do that to them? They waited a decade for this. And now when old Bob Johnson from nearby Flynn, wherever, he's like, great first period.

McDavid scored, Talbot made nine saves on nine shots, going to go take a pee. He's going to wander down to the concourse to take his pee, and he's not going to be able to get into the concourse because there's an extra 6,000 people on the goddamn concourse. That makes no sense. Makes no sense. It gets hard enough to piss at a Giants game when it's like a, you know, a pack stadium.

Can you imagine if, like, the Giants were like, we're going to sell 15,000 stand it around the Concord? You'd never be able. You'd run out of food after the first quarter. You're going to run a stuff. They're like standing online and take a piss and some guy cuts in front of you. You're like, what are you doing? Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I'm here on a concourse ticket. A concourse. Why can you cut in front of me? Oh, I bought the Express Urination package where you get to stand in the concourse and watch the game on television and buy $15 beers, but you also get to be at least the fifth person in line for the bathroom at all times. Greg?

Yeah. Daryl Cates is not going to be able to pay for women to have sex with him. Unless he sells as many tickets as he can to his building. I'm sorry. No. Allegedly. Sorry, I don't get sued. Allegedly. Daryl Cates is in a spot of infamous trouble.

What was the deal? He was asking an actress that was Google his name and Jane the Virgin because the actress, she was on Jane the Virgin. That was like her headline like Jane the Virgin actress. Variety reported earlier this week. It's an amazing story. Or last week that a Brazilian model actress is accusing an NHL owner and financier behind silver pictures of offering her millions of dollars and a movie role in exchange for SCX.

That's spelled sex. Sex sessions, by the way, is how they describe it. The model, I'm going to say Grace Santo, who had a... reoccurring role, ironically, on Jane the Virgin. I added the word ironically, that wasn't varieties, alleges that she was twice lured to the hotel room of Daryl Cates, the Canadian billionaire who owns the Edmonton Oilers, with promises that he could help her acting career.

I assume through some workshopping, you know, kind of running lines. Yeah, like when Joey taught that soap opera acting class on Friends. That's right. Santos says that although she spurned Kate's advances, she later received two wire transfers totaling $35,000. In an interview, she said that such behavior is typical. in Hollywood.

This is so common, but most girls and women, they're afraid of coming out, Santa told variety. So I feel like me coming out will give courage and inspire so many girls who go through the same thing I go through. And it goes on, it's a pretty crazy story. Like her husband, they describe her husband. Like, you know how, like, let's say like this were to happen

on your life and like you were the husband and they described. Greg Wischinski, a writer at yahoo.com, her husband, whatever his name was, was comma, professional gambler and FBI informant. Like, that's his title. Yeah, it's his title. FBI informant.

Yeah. That's his number two thing. And she kept the money too, and good for her. Okay, afterward, she met with Kate's. She got a text message from Kate's who introduced himself as her fairy godfather. Every paragraph after the one before it makes it worse. The subject turned to money and she suggested he make a charitable donation. To the extent that we see each other, I would prefer to give you money, he wrote.

Whatever you decide to do with it is your choice. and I think it's $1.5 million for, I believe it was six sex sessions. Six sex sessions. A month for a year. And another part of that story that's great too is I think it's Darrell Cates's cousin that allegedly is like the sex wrangler. He's like the guy that goes up and like, you know, he's like the opening act before like the sitcom starts.

He comes out and warms up the crowd. He's like, yeah, this guy can do a lot for you. He doesn't just pick the ugly chicks. He picks the hot ones to come in this hotel room. Why do you come back? You need a, if you're having sex sessions with a Brazilian model actress, you need your, you need a hype man. Yeah, you need to have a guy. This guy is so tender yet firm.

You're going to love the sex. It's going to be hot. And they're suing a company that, like, does, like, clean up work for these situations. And, like, the company has done it for, like, Art Bryles, the Baylor coach. Yeah, the Baylor coach, yeah. And, like, it references Silver Pictures, which did the nice guys. Like, every paragraph, I'm like, every, like, the words just kept. being weirder and weirder all the way through.

And so now every time I think of the Oilers and this story comes out about trying to sell tickets, I'm like, oh, yeah, just wants, just, you need to come. Yeah, something, something suddenly came up. Yeah, he saw, he saw an episode of, I don't know, what's a, what's a new show that kids, like the Flash. And, no, he's supergirl. He's like, I got to get Supergirl in here. Let's sell more tickets.

In fairness, he did, he offered her $35,000 to have sex in the room. but if they wanted to have sex in the concourse, it was only 10,000. So it would make sense in context. No, it was actually in the hotel lobby and there's no eye contact the entire time. That's the agreement. You can have all the beer and nachos you want to earn it,

but we just can't look at each other while we're doing it. I can't think of another thing in life and where you would buy a ticket to just be... Like, okay, let me rephrase that. I think I understand the idea of buying, going to like a... like a Super Bowl, let's say. And you're buying a ticket to tailgate.

And maybe you've got a camper. Maybe you've got a television in your car. Right. You just want to be part of that, you know, Bonaroo kind of festival feel before and after the game. Yeah. Getting drunk on your own beer that you brought there. It's cheap. Yeah.

You got a little sausage and peppers going. You know what your car has that an arena concourse doesn't? A fucking seat. A seat. Like you're standing up for three hours and overpaying. for beer and food. There's no line to pee outside your car. Like, what the fuck would do that?

People that haven't seen a playoff game in 11 years. All right. Who are not desperate to get inside the building. So, Taylor Hall. Oh, man. Sorry. I like how you've turned. I like how you've turned against every week.

One week gets the Oilers, then it's the least. Now maybe you're turning against the others. I'm the magnito of hockey blogging, man. I play both sides, but at the end of the day, I'm out for myself. And I can't read your thoughts. They are the ones that are going extinct, Charles. us. I still can figure out how that arrow got through his wife and kid.

It was like a shitty wooden arrow from like... Oh, in the apocalypse? Yeah, like I know. I didn't realize the daughter was dead until like five minutes later. I was like, oh, I thought the wife just died. I didn't realize that arrow got all the way. Well, you talk about your craven attempts to elicit some level of emotion in a really shitty movie.

I know. Like dead kid and trip to Auschwitz. I know. In like 15 minutes. And a dead kid and wife you met four minutes earlier in the movie. Yeah, they're just like superfluous. Lewis, you know, fucking kindling,

and then you go to Auschwitz, and it's like, oh, boy, we were really piling it on here. Remember that scene from the old Ex-Benn movie? We're going to flash on that real quick, in case you forgot. The first one, it's like, we're going to have a fight on top of the

statue of liberty, Logan. And then in the last one, it's just like, yeah, Auschwitz, dead kid, up the stakes a little bit. The weird thing was how they updated it recently. Like, there's a scene where, like, Magneto's the kid, and he's, like, shaking the fence,

and he's crying and screaming, and then Sean Spicer comes out and goes, no, don't worry. No, they're not going to guess anybody here. He's not a sod. It's fine. It's a Holocaust center. What?

What the fuck did you just say? Oh, I mean, it's a concentration camp. Oh, that's better. Holocaust is, whoof. I just, every day. We're not even 100 days in. I know. But yeah.

So two rivalry series, I think the other ones probably the Predators and the Blackhawks would be the one that I would say is the other rivalry series. But other than that, it's sort of the same thing you would have gotten in the conference finals. Or the conference playoff format, rather. Like Rangers Canadians are trying to make a rivalry. It's not. It's an original. Well, it's only a rivalry if you buy into the premise that Chris Kreider, you know, deserves some blame for the injury to price, which is, again, like, you know, Conner Trip last year and you got hurt.

Now we're going to establish rivalry with the flyers, right? You know, it's come on. What are the other series again? Anaheim against Calgary. I'm glad you asked. So we have some picks to make here, or at least reveal on this podcast. We've made them in every other place except for here. Yeah, like, let's begin with that aforementioned series.

The Montreal Canadiens versus the New York Rangers. I'm looking at the seven people on Puck Daddy who made picks, and only Ryan Lambert picked the New York Rangers. I myself am picking Montreal and six. I think here's a problem with the Rangers. Their offense is all counterpunch, and I think the Canadians aren't going to give them a lot of the Rangers. To counterpunch on.

They're very much a team that, loves the home run pass. And like the games they played against Montreal towards the end of the season, it wasn't there. So I don't know how they're going to score. Right. And Price is going to relish the opportunity, not only to beat Lundquist, but also win a series that I think he felt was stolen from him by getting hurt in game one a few years ago.

They weren't going to win that series anyway. Who, Montreal? Yeah. In a conference fine? No, really? You thought so? I don't think they were going to win that series anyway. Tarkarski wasn't really helpful.

But yeah, I just, the Rangers, that back end, man. It sucks. It's Ryan McDonnell. and then it's just like six or six, five dudes that, like, Kevin Klein. Dan Girardi has been trending this way forever. Brady Shays are a rookie, so you're going to get up and down stuff from him, but he's going to be okay. Brendan Smith.

Sure, whatever. Whatever. But, like, Kevin Klein, like, in 2014, like, he was, like, their second best defenseman. Like, he should have been on that top pairing with Ryan McDonough. And now, like, he's a disaster. He's like, I don't know if Dan Girardi, like, bit him, like, a radioactive defenseman and turned him into Dan Girardi. But there was like one year

Client was playing with like a broken hand and he was still great and this year in that last game of the year did you watch the Penguins game the last game of year but it was like the minor league

matchup like Kevin Klein turned the puck over to some dude I'd never heard of and gave him a breakaway goal I just think Montreal's defense is better there's a good I mean if you want to save Kevin Klein

you have to kill Dan Girardi you have to kill the vampire and then everybody turns back so it works oh oh oh so like if if Peter Parker wants to stop being Spider Man he's just a final

I thought you're going more of the vampire thing than the Spider-Man thing Spider-Man's spider gave him powers, like good powers. When a vampire bites you, he turns you into a vampire. Well, vampires have good powers for vampires anyway. They can't be out in the fucking sunlight. Why do you think all the games are played indoors, Greg? Well, you know what?

They never be able to go to Mammoth Park during the day. Congratulations. Actually, has Dan Girardy ever played in an outdoor game? The Flyers game was at night. The Yankee Stadium games were at night, too, now that I think about it. Is this a long-witted metaphor to just get to, he sucks? Well, I mean, that's been done to death. three years. We've got to get a little creative about how Dan Girardi's not good anymore.

Montreal owns every defensive stat except for power play goals against per game, and they are only 0.02 away from where the Rangers are. Other than that, they've got goals against, even strength goals. They're a much better team. I say six. What do you say? Yeah, six. Unless Chris Kreider goes and skates up again. Yeah, there's always the possibility. I don't know. I don't think it's going to happen. It would be so awesome if Chris Kreider came barreling in like a fucking bowling ball, trying to get carry praise. And all of a sudden he gets stopped by this giant hand

and the camera pans over. He's Che Weber. He's just like not today. And he just takes him and throws him. He throws him across the ice. And then he gets suspended for six games and then they put in Alexei Emelin and lose the next one. Oh, no, no. He doesn't get suspended when he takes somebody's head and slams it into something.

Ask the Red Wings about that. Also, also another thing that Tanner Glass over Pavel Bouchnevich in the lineup, I believe, is a game one thing that's happening? Like, I just, I don't get it. Oh, yeah, we should mention that when you hear this, many of these games will have already happened.

It's like five on opening night, right? Five series. Yeah, there's no Friday series that starts on Friday this year, which is a great five tonight. So let it be said that when we make these picks, it's before the significant injuries happen tonight in these games. Before Corey Perry's collarbone gets snapped. Yeah. Is that a game tonight?

I haven't done that game. Sure, whatever. Bruins and senators. The only person to pick the senators on Puck Daddy is our fantasy writer, Steve Lidlaw. Everybody else picks the B's. I like the Bs in the 7. I think it's going to be an increasingly chaotic and intense series. A little bit of Alex Burroughs in your life against the Bruins is always a good thing.

But I also think that Craig Anderson is going to win two games on his own, as he's wanted to do in the playoffs. And I think this series goes long, but I have a feeling that, you know, when you have a seven-game series, this is just a rule of thumb. I tend to pick the team that can score a goal versus the team that can't. You're a Devils fan from the 90s. That's bizarre. How'd you pick that up? Where'd you learn that one? I tend to pick the team that doesn't have the goal tending and great defenseman.

That's always been my thing. Well, at least in the devil's case, like, at least Claude. You knew Claudelemyot was good for a goal, you know, if you needed one. Yeah, if Ron Huxthaw's on net. But at a game seven, like, if you're out, like, what do you, what do you, what do you mean? Mike Hoffman. Kyle Turris. All right.

Brassard. Amazing. Murderer's Row. I think you're underselling the ability. Are you taking Ottawa in this series? In seven. You're taking Ottawa in seven? I'm taking Boston in seven.

Tori Krug's situation makes me skeptical. Okay. I agree. The blue line makes me a little bit nervous. Charlie Conway, Charlie Coil, Charlie McAvoy. Charlie McAvoy. Charlie McCoy. Whatever.

Mighty Duck to Minnesota Wild Forward to... I believe at one point you said Will McAvoy from the newsroom. Yeah, he's into like a 45-minute monologue about America As has Mark Stone skates around him I don't know, it's a very, that's a hard series to pick Because I don't know how injured everybody is on Ottawa But I like the, I think the Craig Anderson story is going to last In the second round

Mark Stone, by the way, in my Selkie top five Even though he's a winger. Yeah, sure. Okay. I don't know, I remember is I picked Patrice Berger on. I don't remember who I was out of. Capitals and Maple Leafs, Caps across the board on Puck Daddy.

The only person who thinks it goes beyond five games was Jen Neal. Jeff Merrick, my other podcast husband, thinks it goes four. I think it goes five. I think the caps win. You know, just demonstrably better team. Won't be fooled again, losing to a mediocre Canadian team in the first round, as they did once. And, you know, if you want a sense of the just happy to be thereness of the Leafs, consider that their law.

in the last game of the season in which they blew a two-nothing lead meant that they played the Washington fucking capitals instead of playing the Ottawa Senators. I think that Maple Leafs could beat the senators. I don't think they have a prayer against the capitals. And yet the reaction to this in Toronto, a place where they used to criticize how Phil Kessel would look at people. That's how fucking edgy everybody was in Toronto.

Now we've completely, the paradigm is completely shifted to it being our team blew a lead, and now they have to play an unwinnable series. Oh, well, sunshine, lollipops, and unicorns and Austin Matthews, we are going to build ourselves up to a Stanley Cup. Who gives a shit about this year? Seriously, fuck off this year. We made the playoffs.

That's all that really matters. To be honest, I like Brandon Shanahan's version of that song better than you. It's nice. Sunshine, lollipop. As the video shows, Sunshine, lollipops, unicorns. As a video shows, Tom's a steed are running over, Frederick Andrews. heard us in the last game of the year. As the video shows,

Freddor Anderson's toenail was one inch over the line of his crease. Over the line! He was eligible to be hit by Tom Sistito. Over the line. Mark it is a zero. Do you go five games or less? So I think it's going to go five. I think Toronto's good enough to win one. But a lot of the stats people seem to feel like all of us blockheads

are giving a little too much credit to the caps. Oh, no, it makes total sense. You mean in this series or overall? In this series. Oh, okay. So all of the Toronto-based stats people believe, as they peer at their numbers through their giant blue-tinted glasses that maybe everybody's wrong on the Capitals. They're a PDO-fueled team as opposed to, I think the Caps are going to win in five. I would tend to agree.

And I hope they do. Toronto's got enough talent to win one. If you believe in the capitals as a Stanley Cup champion this year, and many of us do, traditionally you have to have a quick series at some point. And this would be the quickest one, I think that they would have. I mean, compared to Montreal in 2010, even like the Philly Series last year was supposed to be fast. And they got like this mix of like Michael Noirich channeling Halak for six games. And then like the Flyers just murdering the Capitals every time they carried the puck into their zone. Toronto doesn't have that goalie.

Like Matt Martin might murder a couple. couple guys, but they're just not that same team. There's literally the only thing that you're worried about here is the caps reverting back to being the clenched Schfincter playoff disappointment caps. But I've long said that the difference between this team and those teams in the past is Holtby. Like, Holpsey is there to be the slump buster. But he shit his pants in the second around last year. He did, but people don't talk about that enough. His numbers are he didn't shit his pants. He just got outplayed by a rookie. No, he shit his pants. He gave up some bad fucking goals in those in those games in that series. The team in front of

wasn't great either. But like now, I was looking at this last year, Ovechkin and Kuznetsov had unbelievably disgustingly good years. And this year they were both down, yet they've scored more goals this year as a team. It's weird. You talk about shit the bed. Because Natsoff two points in 12 games last year, that's shit in the bed. Like Johansen's better this year, Oshy's better this year, they've got Shatt and Kirk, Brooks Orpick's playing less. There's no way that they can screw up, at least the first round. They can't screw up the first round. Maybe I didn't notice Hulpi because there was other pretty bad goaltending in that series. Flower.

Do you know how you gave up that terrible goal? Flower. Remember that time Mike Sullivan put you in the game because Matt Murray had one bad one? Flower, do you ever think you get outplayed by a teenager in the playoffs, despite being Sid's best friend? I'll hang up and listen. Speaking of the penguins. Segway. Penguins and Blue Jackets.

So we have two people on Puck Daddy picking the Blue Jackets. Cooper in seven at Steve Laidlaw in six I have the penguins in six and I'll admit that's a pick of cowardice it's a pick of cowardice because I do believe the Blue Jackets can win this series I worry about I really worry about a really solid forechecking team like Columbus against the Penguins team that is missing their best puck moving defensemen and I and I worry about the motivation for the Blue Jackets to beat this fucking team because they are living in their shadow, and that's a hell of a motivator.

And I also worry about, you know, the fact that they've got guys that can kind of get under their penguins of skin a little bit, too, and your Dubinsky's and others. So... I feel like the Flyers are the only team that have that consistent ability to drive Evgeny Malk and fucking bat shit. Yeah. Like the Chirier.

The Blue Jackets are just more like dudes that are just going to, like, hit you in the neck with their stick. I also, I should also say that, They also have a Brovsky. That's the thing, too. That's how they win. Yeah, Bob's stealing a couple games in the series, and all of a sudden it's a totally different series.

So the last 25 games last year, the Penguins were at, like, 563 with their score adjusted Fenwick, and this year they're at, like, 49-1. Yeah. So Matt Murray only had to basically be good to win the Cup. They're not going to be as good in front of them this year. But Brovsky's the best goalie in the league. That's how they win the series.

Did you put balls on the line and pick the blue jackets? I took Pittsburgh in seven. Yeah, I just can't do it. Like, it's probably the series that I've, I picked, and I'm like, if it goes the other way, not only am I happy, because I want the caps to win the cup. And I think clearing the road of the penguins is the only way it'll happen, maybe, in reality, not in like Picks World. Ah, Picks World.

Right. But, but it was also, it will also be one, I'm like, oh, of course. Like, if you showed me that the Blue Jackets won in seven and Bobowski had like a two-nothing shut out in game seven, I'm like, oh, of course. We all should have seen that coming. Like if there's like one or two games where like the penguins out shoot Columbus like 49, 22 and they lose two to one, like that's, that's, that's going to be trouble because you're probably not going to do that every year. Like the Columbus, like they can't let Columbus steal more than one game. The penguins team, I think is still better than the Blue Jackets team, but Barowski is like, he's like that little silent assassin just sitting there.

I love that that Sidney Crosby has a collection of what I would affectionately call Joel Otto's in his life. Gratzky back in the 80s at Joel Otto, his tormentor. from the Calgary Flames. And I love the fact that there's a collection of players in this league that Crosby fucking hates and that get away with all kinds of shit on him. The Mark Stahl stuff, the Dubinsky stuff. You know, I'm sure the Flyers have a couple guys

that have gotten over on them too. I love an angry Sid. Because an angry Sid is a really, like he's a scoreboard kind of guy. Like he's not going to like lose his shit and then they lose a series because Sid's off his game. Like he's going to score five goals in a game. When he's pissed off.

Like, Malkin's the guy who will, you know, somebody will, like, nudge his balls from behind him with a stick, and then he'll fucking flip out and get, like, a fucking five-minute major, and then they'll score two times and they'll win three-six. That scene in Shrek where he reverts back to being an ogre and starts terrorizing the village. Right, when the donkey hits him in the balls. Like, that's exactly the scene of talking about.

We both don't even know if that scene exists, but we both assume that it did. It has to, sure. Right. I mean, I haven't sat through Shrek, but that seems like a plot. I'm an ogre now. I don't even know what that is. My balls got hit by the stick.

Time to fight me blue jackets. Damn, Shrek! That's it. The Blackhawks and the Predators are in the Western Conference, and they're playing a series, and I'm going to show my laptop to Lozo now. It looks like a scene from a John Wayne movie. It's all these Blackhawks Indian heads.

There's like all of them, and then they're looking at this one predator, and lo and behold, this one predator is the pick of one Greg Wichinsky. Wow. I'm picking Nashville in six. I can't give you a reason why. Because there is no reason why.

The Blackhawks torment them. They beat them at every turn. They're a better team top to bottom. I don't trust Peckerene. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised that Peckerene at some point has replaced in this series. Boy, this is such a ringing endorsement

for Nashville Predators hockey right here. This is a gut. They suck. They're terrible. This is a gut feeling. They're not good. This is a gut feeling that every year there's a team that everybody was on their tip

at the beginning of the season and they underwhelm. And they kind of figure their shit. out in one of these playoff series. And I think that's going to be Nashville. Now, this is maybe a wish that my heart is making that the Blackhawks would be

exponentially more fun if they were eliminated in the first round in consecutive seasons by a division rival. Because I love, I don't like gloating everything's great Blackhawks. I like, We should be on the throne. Someone else is in the throne. Maybe this is

Joel Quenville's fault. That's the Blackhawks I love. The guy with 800. 100 coaching wins in three Stanley Cups in the past five years is the problem. Yeah, maybe he should switch his lines so often. Why does he have so many guys with no experience at the bottom of this lineup? Yeah. Is it because of cat mismanagement that Joel Quenville did?

Yeah. We need like Kevin Denine to be like worm tongue from Lord of the Rings to start whispering into people. Yes, it's Joel's problem. Joel's the reason we lost in the first round. I don't know who that is. Sure. Do you have the Blackhawks winning this series? I imagine you probably do.

Here's the thing. Okay. Blackhawks, finish stronger, better all season, way more Stanley Cup experience. Way more players than the top 100 players of all time as well. Three of the 100 greatest players in the history of hockey will play probably about 20 minutes each in every game this series. Corey Crawford was 101.

Corey Crawford, Mr. 101, just ahead of Evaggeny Malkin at 102. Sitting there, it's just too much. So, yeah, Predators. The new Chris Osgood, as he's known, Cory Crawford. Preders and Six. You picked Preders? Wait, you really did? So I picked it.

But wait, but why did you? Because I can't explain. I can't verbalize why I picked them. I picked them because I want them to win. I want P.K. to win. Like, P.K. is a hell of a drug. Like, he gets you high. You're just like, man, I'd love to have more that P.K.

Like, I can't, and by that, I mean, P.K. Suvah, not Pecker N. Because I'm sure he's probably PK. To be he's probably PK. to his own people. But like I can't explain why I think they're going to win. Can you explain it? Well, here's what I did on Monday on my other podcast. I picked the Predators.

And then on Monday night I wrote up my thing and realized how outmatched the Predators are. It totally are. They're not even like. And it's too late now to change. They might be better offensively. Like more offensive big guns. But like depth-wise, it forward, this isn't actually even like their best team that they've had recently. defensively they're stout like they might have the best defense in the fucking league as far as like on paper personnel wise but like their forward depth's just not as good as it's been Chicago

well well Chicago is filled in the blanks pretty well but I mean the predators natural right I mean the predators have I mean the Blackhawks have the usual big three they got Johnny O'Dia they got Brian Campbell I got TVR but like I just I go back to that 2014 series or not 2014 2015 series Where Corey Crawford shit his pants In some of the most glorious pants I've ever seen a goalie do And if not for Scott Darling

They lose in the first round They don't win the Stanley Cup Not that it's the same teams You know roster-wise or anything like that But like I feel like if Corey Crawford Has he yet another first round You know pants pooping Like Scott Darling is not going to save them again

So I don't know I just don't think there's a lot separating one from eight in the west. And the predators are just going to get hot the right time. I hope so. You can't just go off of like, you know, numbers and stuff. You got to pick a weird one sometime. Yeah, if you're going to go in the first round,

you got to kind of go off the chalk a little bit. Right. And there's no real reason for me to pick the predators other than fuck the Blackhawks. The only downside would be that we don't get to see whatever's going to end up growing on Jonathan Taves' face because it's always exciting. Big mutton chops, like he's on Downton Abbey or whatever,

or he's an old-timey doctor that uses leeches. Tough bounce. But you know what's going to happen, though, if the Blackhawks go out and won, they might have to shave those beards. And what better way to shave those beards than with a Harry's razor? Ladies and gentlemen, there's going to be a lot of shaving going on in these playoffs. When your team is eliminated, that horrible beard on your face just has to go, right? If you've grown one in support of your team and your team is eliminated,

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Don't shave your soup, though. Don't shave your soup, but do you use your lubrication script. Yeah, because when you get the lubrication script on there, everything just goes in and out easier. Speaking of lubrication, I don't know, has nothing to do with this. The Minnesota Wild are taking on the St. Louis Blues. The Wild of the seven Puck Daddy writers, six picked the Wild. One, Justin Cuthbert, a new edition from Canada. He picks the Blues in Six.

I picked the Wild in Six for one reason and one reason only. And that is, well, two reasons. The first one is that I don't have any confidence in Jake Allen. as a playoff goalie. I just don't. I think this could be one of those NFL fans. You know how sometimes

your team has a quarterback? You know how your team sometimes has a thing? Did you ever notice how every time you go to the shopping mall you get stuck with the cart with the wiggly wheel? What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

I don't get it. This bottle of shampoo, as you can see, is 13 ounces. This bottle I bought back five years ago. 14 ounces. Where do that ounce go? I don't know.

Why don't they get the last calorie out of the diet soda? The other one's out? What about that last one? What's the deal with the one gallery? This is a pretzel from 1987. As you can see, it's a certain about this big. Here's a pretzel from today that I just bought at the corner store. As you could see, it's about a millimeter smaller.

What happened? Where did my pretzel go? Why do you drive on a parkway? Park in a driveway? Who named these things, huh? What's the deal with that? So I had no confidence in Jake Allen as a playoff goalie, and obviously the Wild have to win in six

because they sure shit ain't winning in seven. Who do you like in the series? I think the Wild. I almost picked the Wild in four, but I was a little bit of a coward. But like the Blues have played well. They've not been bad. And also the other thing, too,

is that they're playing a style of hockey that insulates Allen a little bit, as has been the case. And the funny part, of course, is that like you look at Alan's stats since Mike Yo took over, and they're good. But that's because they were atrocious beforehand.

He's just gotten back to where he should have been under Hitch. Exactly. By the way, spoiler warning, we'll talk about Hitchcock a little bit later. Wild than five. Better team up and down the lineup. They didn't trade their best defensemen at the trade deadline. This is true. Don't trust Devin Dubnick, probably, but I trust them a little more than I trust Jake Allen.

Devon Dugnick's playoff stats are atrocious. But I'm going to hope that they score enough. They put enough on the board against Jake Allen. That might not be an issue. He can kind of figure himself out a little bit in the first round. Give me the wild in five. All right. Ducks and Flames. Every Puck Daddy writer, save for one, pick the ducks, the one who picked the flames.

Can you guess which one? That's a Ryan Lambert call for sure. That's for sure. Swimming against the stream. Picking my team to flames. I got Ducks in seven. I'll tell you why, seven. Banged up on the back end.

And I think this is one of those series, my friend, where, home ice will be, they're going to all hold serve. Flames will win three at home. Duckeys win four at home. No. Duckeys in Sevon. Disagree. Oh, and also they win in seven because of the awesome irony of them firing their coach because he couldn't win a game seven, and then they win a game seven.

See, I'm going to say Flames in seven for the opposite reason where the ducks will be up three to in that series. Calgary wins game six at home, goes into Anaheim and wins in Anaheim for the first time since 1947 or whatever. Now, this is really interesting. It's almost as if you and I are a skewing fact for what we'd like to see happen or some spiritual whatever the fuck. Yeah, I'm not looking for facts or numbers.

It is a post-fax society we live in. Yeah, I mean, seriously. Yeah. This is how you become president. You just make up your own shit and then shape the world to fit it. Mm-hmm. I just think... Game one, Anaheim, biggest crowd ever for an NHL game.

That's what they said. Look at the photograph. Look at the photograph. They actually had 40,000 people on the concourse. More people than the sharks. No, I... No Cam Fowler. But here's the thing about, like, trying to pick teams for the narrative. Corey Perry and gets off a total.

One of my, one of the planks of my platform has always been, that the team that wins in the end is usually the team that has the best story for the... for what I used to say was the DVD, but now I'll say it's the Blu-ray. Like, the Penguin story last year was amazing. Fire the coach, Sydney Crosby, fucking Phil Kess. Like, they had a great story. But there's never a cup champion that doesn't have a great story. Well, that's not true. Oh, yeah?

How about? Are you going to say the Kings over the Rangers? I'll give you that. Well, no, that was the second cup in two years of a season. That was like a dynasty. Yeah, that was like back-to-back 82 games season. Okay, keep going, because there's not one. Boston was an amazing story.

What was amazing about Carolina in 2006? First cup for the franchise. Yeah, but like, they've been to the cup for a little before that. Fuckin Cam Ward was an amazing story There you go He was a modern day Ken Dryden And if Ken Dryden was demonstrably terrible From that point on in his career

And didn't retire I feel like your definition of amazing story Is different than my definition of an amazing story An amazing story for me is a story Produced by Steven Spielberg It has some really shitty special effects But Bob Zemeckis was involved So we all love it

See like you're basically describing A Lord of the Rings movie If you just change the names of the directors and producers Because all those movies were horseshit Get to the mailbag early here, folks. The Oilers and the Sharks probably play the most compelling series, I'd say, in the first round. Agreed or disagree. I'm a little bit nervous about how many people are picking the Oilers, not only in life, but also on Puck Daddy.

Seven writers, six of them picked the Oilers. I'm one of them. I like the Oilers and six. Leahy likes the Sharks in seven. The Sharks are my preseason pick to go to the Cup final. But, again, this is like me falling in love with the Oilers team. Home ice, boundless enthusiasm, Connor, if he can get past pickles and whatever else,

the sharks are throwing at him, because it's not just flask, it's everybody else. Cucumbers, probably some deli meat, dill, coleslaw. Yeah. So, I like the, and I'm also saying that Cam Talbot's got one playoff series in him

before his limbs fall off. I feel like his limbs kind of started to fall off the last four or five games. Yeah. He's played 73 games. It's a lot of games for a guy who's a backup. Although maybe he's saved up all his energy from not having to play as many games earlier in his career. I went sharks in six.

Completely reasonable pick. Is it though? Yeah, it is. Because here's the thing. Even though they play a lot of hockey that should necessarily affect him in the first round. And, you know, at the end of the day, this is still the Oilers' first rodeo.

The sharks kind of know how to do this. And you have one of the best. Was that ever like a sentiment about the sharks before last year that they knew what to do? It's not a first round by. Like they advance past the first round most seasons. I mean, they crap their pants against the Kings. Then they missed the playoffs and tried the trade author. I mean, like, I feel like this is like a recent new narrative that the sharks know what they're doing.

I'm saying that you have one of the best defense shutdown defensemen in the league. You have forwards up front that are extraordinarily defensive really responsible. Fucking Logan Couture hounding Connor all series. Yeah, with like a little rink rat. I don't really feel like anybody can skate with McDavid. Like, you kind of need Martin Jones to basically ruin his day. Marlow can. I don't know if he can do anything defensively, though.

Yeah, he can skate with him and then just like, See you later! It's like one of the skinny guys in ice hockey the Nintendo game where he just bounces off of the guy. Like, great job staying with him, but that's about it. Does that make Brent Burns a fat guy? I also like the idea of like the sharks giving the big middle finger to Tom McClellan. Yeah, there's that too.

Just being like, yeah, you want to, bitch and moan about how you Joe Thornton, blah, blah, well, here we, Joe Thornton's not going to play probably in the series, but, oh, the idea of, like, everyone's like Tom McClellan knows these guys. Like, well, he knew how to fucking make them lose. I don't know. I don't know how knowing the team is good because, like, he knew them and still going to figure out how to win with them.

And now Pete DeBoar Ken. Oh, yeah, he knows these guys. That's great. Who on that blue line is going to do the things that he knows? Yeah. The way he knew Alex Steylock was a good idea to put in that for game six. Oh, God. Crapping its pants.

Yeah. Great job. buddy. I love Tom McClawn. He's such a great coach to talk to, but this is just, it's year one. I mean, in playoff bingo, what will be Logan Guterres complained about Connor McDavid at some point? He smiles too much during face-offs. He, you know, if you're going to let him just skate all over the place without any kind of, you know, you can't even touch him, that's fine, whatever. That's what it is. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. I was going to say, like, oh, he's always offside when he enters his own, but we review for that now. so he can't.

He's too fast for the offside to pick up. Logan, what do you got to do to take out to Connor in the series here? Connor, Conner, you know, he'll have 15 points in his first two games. You know, they'll let him put his stick down on the ice first all the time,

you know, and they don't even do anything about it. So like, whatever, you know, don't cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat. You know, that's a new rule now, right? Chee, In our, in our playoff media fantasy pool thing,

like you have to pick nine guys, eight skaters and a goalie. You get a point for a goal. That's cool. Point for points and a point for a win for a goalie. and nobody like took any sharks until the end of the draft like everyone was on the oilers they were on McDavid they were neverly dry-sidal and nobody likes the sharks you can feel it too it's like everybody wants to be fucking clever when they make these picks and like the oilers won it seems obvious it's like the new

new hotness versus old and busted yeah you know and like they have home ice like I get it they finished the sharks won like what two games the last two fucking months I get it I totally get it but I just think once the puck drops you shut down McDavid somehow I don't know. All right, let's get ready to it. Who's your cup finalists? Caps in the wild. Oh, shit, we have the same pick?

I don't necessarily... So here's the thing. The Caps group. You just... Boudreux against the Caps. No, I just... The West... Like, to me, like...

Hold on, you say no. How many games does it take for the Caps to win? Like the whole thing? Yeah, against the Wild. 16 is how many games... No, no, no, no. How long does that series go between the Caps and the Wild? What was your pick?

God, you're going to make me keep looking up. Yeah, I am, because you try the perpetrator. that you weren't picking the narrative here and I'm going to prove that you were. There's a narrative for like every single team the caps could play pretty much. Here, I'll freely admit to picking the fucking narrative. I said caps in seven.

Why? Because I want Boudreau to lose into game seven against the capitals. It's the whole point. Here's the thing. The West sucks this year. It's not good. And I feel like any of this eight teams

maybe except for the Blues can get to the cup final. But I don't think any of them are anywhere near as good as the caps. I would say my, you know Edmondton you're completely right

Edmondson could come out of the West you're completely right for sure because I was going to say Calgary but Calgary has a couple things going for it that are three things going for that are really good they got that checking line they've got Hamilton and Giordano which is our fucking phenomenal together

and if Brian Elliott's Brian Elliott from last year they could get past the ducks Brian Elliott figured some stuff out eventually during this season like if he's yeah if he's like the old Brian Elliot I don't really trust Glenn Gulletson as a coach? There are so many

weird coach storylines in the first round. Sullivan versus Torrella. Mike Yo versus the fucking wild. McClellan against the Oilers and then

you're gonna have like Bruce Brucho maybe running into the ducks at some point. You have the caps running into either the wild or the ducks. Like there's just so many

things. I was on the radio I was on the radio in St. Louis this past week and they're like they're like, so give us the perspective

from the outside. How many people are excited about this Mike yo against the, I'm like, I gotta be honest with you. This is why I hate fucking doing radio. You get on the radio and it's like, what's the perspective around there when it comes to the Montreal can I, like, buddy, no one gives a shit about the fucking hockey here.

People care about Matt Harvey's hamstring here. People care about the Knicks not being good this year. No one, like people think you walk down the street and there's like this like little coffee shop and someone just like, boy, I think Max Patrick Reddy's okay after getting hurt and practice yesterday, nobody cares, man. But you know what's beautiful about being a hockey fan and in our case being hockey writers is that there are, there are, everywhere we go, there are people that want to talk about hockey. They just don't know they're allowed to.

I did it. I was doing a phoneer. I was doing a phoneer on the corner of a street in Manhattan. And I was just like doing a, yeah, you know, oh, I don't know, maybe the predators or blah, blah, blah, blah. While you were talking on your cell phone on the street in Manhattan to do radio, that must have been a really good radio. Yeah, it's a great. Joining us down the line, the editor of the puck daddy blog, Greg Wichinsky, Greg, what do you think about the

prets? Oh, I think the preads are, well, blah. People are trying to cross the street while you're just standing there blocking the road. You're going against every rule of walking around Manhattan. And what are your memories of the late Gordy How? Well, you know, hey, fuck you, buddy! Get out of the fucking road! You fucking idiot!

Go back to fucking Kansas! Stop looking it up at all the buildings! My point was... Well, Gordy was a really great guy. I was doing an interview, and this guy was walking by me, and he heard, like... I think it was like during the Olympic thing. I'm not here like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, and I think that's why the NHL players might not go to the Olympics.

And his head did a turn as if it was Dave Lozo walking past Margarabi. Like it was fucking, like, it was like the only, I'm like, what? There's a hockey fan of this town who talks about hockey? And he was like staring at me for a while. And it wasn't like a, you know, no one knows what I am. But like, it was one of those things of clear identification of, this is someone who likes a thing that I like. And I wish there was a way that I can approach him and be like, I like the thing that you like. I like the thing that you like.

Like hockey fans are all over, but we just don't know that we can communicate with each other in the States. It's not the same, like you said, it's not the same thing in Canada. No.

Like in Canada, you could just walk out to the middle of the street and be like, who wants to talk about the Leafs? And then like everybody rushes out of their houses, like the beginning of the fucking

dawn of the dead. You know, they just all rush out towards you because they all want to talk about the Leafs. It's not the same thing here. Like here, we should start a business.

Tinder for hockey fans. Like, there's no fucking, there's no sex. It's just like, you know, you swipe through and you see like a dude and he's wearing like a leaf jersey and it's like, you know, favorite things. And if it says like, you know, Matt Sundeen's like speed, you're like, oh, I'll swipe right. That's the good one, right? But if it says like Darcy Tucker murdering somebody, you're like swipe left. I don't want that got to be my friend. Let's set that up.

P-U-C-R. Pucker. That sounds too sexual. People are going to get the wrong idea. We're going to have women on this thing. I don't want anybody to get like a misunderstanding of what's going to happen. It needs to be a word that has to do with hockey that is just missing. It's sex. second last letter. Yeah, well, we got to just, like, that's every business. You just got to get the E off of the er at the end. Let's see here.

Sticker. No, no. Slap. Slap. Slap. Shatter. P.ker. Winger. Winger.

Winger. No. We'll come back to it. If you have an idea for our hockey app where you can meet other hockey fans, but not have sex with. them. Yeah. Please tweet at us hashtag

no sex puckhead. Oh, puckhead, there you go. Remember this was like an Aaron Dark problem when she moved here? Remember she was talking about?

Yeah, she was talking about how she didn't have any friends. She organized like tweet-ups, but we're not going to use anything called a tweet-up. I'm sorry, I won't. Just saying that word just now hurts me when people, hey, Tweeps on Twitter.

Thanks for following tweets. But like we said to Aaron at the time, I think it was like, yeah, great. If you're a Red Wings fan and you go to this bar, and Aaron's there, you're like, oh, this is amazing. I'm coming here for every game. You get to a bar in, like, if you and I were lived in Omaha and we're like, devil's bar here,

devil's expats, and they walk in, and like, oh, they're like, oh, a fucking serial killer. We ain't turning up in Nebraska Red and White game for this. Is that how people talking Nebraska? I don't know. All right. So we both like the capitals and the wild, which is weird that we both picked that. But we both have the cap. I have the cap's one in the cup.

Again, I think that it is going to be. exponentially easier if the penguins are out of the way. But I also think that the penguins are vulnerable this year, too. I'm not saying that it's impossible that they could win, not win that series. What are my other picks? Let me just get them all in there. I got the Canadians over the senators. You got the whole thing planted out, huh?

Caps over penguins, wild over preds, sharks over the flames. Got the sharks in the conference finals. I'm nuts. And the wild spanked the sharks and the caps beat the haps. No judgment on that spanking, by the way. To each his or her own. Nope, can't do that either. A lot of hockey news happened this week, too.

I said on Twitter before the podcast taping today, this is, you know, we're going to do a mailbag that's going to have a lot of non-hockey stuff in it because this is one of the most hockey-centric episodes I think we've ever done. Yeah, sorry about that. Let's get right into it. All the firings and hirings and all that shit.

Let's start with chronologically what happened first. Dale Tallon is back as the, I mean, he was the GM, then he wasn't for a few months. Then they made him the GM again, but didn't tell anybody. and now he's a fishy of the GM again. Just a dynamite organization down there. At least they learn from their mistakes. Yeah, but like, they're at a point where, like, they might not be reversible.

Like, you fuck up things this badly for a year. You might not be able to turn it around in time to get, like, they took a hundred and three-point team and turned it into, what, like an 84-point team, whatever they were this year. Yeah. And again, Dale Tallon was part of that. Like, he was the guy who was like, Sean Thornton, skip that guy two years. Like, he's not, he's not completely. completely like innocent in this but yeah the stats guys are the ones that are responsible for all the low-cost signings that really worked out that's the answer to last week's question too by

the way oh yeah why no it's easily the best uf you okay without question people were like rajil off like no you get 30 goals at a 800k or whatever it was that's that's that's the winner and they still miss the playoffs like how do that you sign that guy get 30 goals and get worse the you know the riley smith acquisition was the stats guys that was eric joyce i'm sure it's the same You know, all the sneaky smart stuff was the computer voice. But here's the thing. Like, the part of the story that I haven't pieced together yet is who in that organization decided that Tom Rowe was going to be the dude to go with? Like, they made him general manager.

Tom Rode. After kid. Maybe. Yeah, maybe he just said, you know what you should do? You should make me general manager. They're like, we don't know anything about hockey. That sounds good. You're old.

You're old. Yeah. You got glasses. Yeah. You look smart. But, like, they named him general manager. And then he fires Golan. on the, obviously the advice of the entire organization

that was sick of him not being, you know, being in with the analytics and everything else. And then he makes himself coach. And then they're all, at some point they're all like, well, this is disastrous. Yes. We're going to put Dale back in charge of the day-to-day shit. And then Rose like, well, I'm the interim coach.

I'm not coming back. And they're like, yeah, but now we don't have a place to put you upstairs. So you're going to be a special advisor to the guy looking for his state, in the boiler room. Yeah. Special advisor.

Yeah. Boy, I'd love to get one of those promotions where, like, they just give me less work and I can just keep my job. Like, oh, you're going to be the new special advisor to puck daddy, Greg Wischinski. And I'm like, Greg, I think you should do this post. And Greg's like, no. And I'm like, all right. I look at being a consultant. Great.

The way that Costanza looked at being, having access to the model parties when he dates the really pretty girl. And all of a sudden he gets into, like a skeleton key, you get at any part. Like, I know that all I have to do is get one job. I'm a consultant, then I can be a consultant for the rest of my life. Like, that's the way it works, right? Is it? Oh, man, I didn't know that. I haven't, I haven't even, I haven't even, I haven't pondered that possibility. All right, hire me to be your consultant. Okay, then you, and then you hire me.

All right. We'll both be each other's consultants, and then we'll be foot in the door. No, that can't work. Like, you have to have, you have to have the business. Or one, like, we can't both do it. Then we're just, then we're just, we're just co-workers. Why? We both have businesses. But, like, say, like, say you're sitting on the floor there with, uh, Bastin's Tim Hines.

Yeah. And you're talking about stuff to do. You're consulting each other because you're co-workers. You're not really a consultant. Oh, you're saying that we're too close. Like, we can't consult. Like, one of us has to be a consultant. Why don't we be a podcast consultant firm?

Everybody's got a podcast. Now, like, you go to those iTunes rankings and all the shitty ones that we're behind. Like, they probably could use a little leg up. Like, let's say that I started a deer hunting podcast. Like, I wouldn't know, you know, shit about podcasting. I know about killing animals, but not about podcasting. so they would hire us to tell them how to podcast. Venice Sons of Anarchy.

See? Why do you give it away for free? Just saying, it's a little taste of what you can get when you hire Wishlow's Consulting, the podcast professionals. Buck stops here, H-E-A-R. Buck. Like a...

Hold My Deer. Do you think the Hold My Beer meme is dead after this week? It was weird. Everybody suddenly decided it died yesterday on Twitter. It was like this weird sort of like, collective moment on Twitter where people were like can we stop with the hold my beer jokes? Yeah and what was weirdest about it was that nobody used the same used an even more over joke which is the hashtag hold my beer party is over on Twitter.

What's that? Whenever somebody gets in trouble or the the world decides to turn on them they do like hashtag Harry Styles is over party and then everybody just posts stuff about fucking Harry Styles being over yeah. That's a part of Twitter I didn't know so like so like despite being a millennial so the so the lady who put like all the documents of the guy that got dragged off the Delta plane on her desk and was like, coming up later, I got all the info on this guy's dirty history and everybody savaged her. Like that lady was like whatever her name is over. The whole my beer thing's

funny though, but it's just like it's a little bit overdone. I mean, I still think the worst meme is the Merrill Streep screaming meme. Yeah. Which still occasionally pops into my feed. It gets retweeted into my feed and it's like three hours old and it has four retweets. It's like nobody wants it. Stop. I'll say, it still amuses me

but I'll say this. We have reached the crying Jordan saturation moment where now all the really funny people I follow are making the whole of my beer joke at the same time and it's just different variations of the same theme. I think it's over. Maybe. It had a good run. It was a good run. It was a good meme. It had its day. Lindy Ruff was, I don't know if he was fired or if he was just not renewed or whatever

but he's not the coach anymore. And then on Wednesday before we do this taping, Ken Hitchcock reported to be coming back to Coach Dall. Starts you shaking your head, but to me Ken Hitchcock does something really, really good, which is that he goes to your team and he makes you better defensively immediately. Let me spit some knowledge at you. Yeah, he goes to the team

and makes them just good enough to never win the Stanley Cup. The stars were 19th and goals against before Hitchcock came aboard, then they were third. The Philadelphia Flyers were seventh and then they were first. The blue jackets were 17th and they were ninth, and the blues were 18th and then they were first.

And again, like, he also does this with shitty goalies. Like he had Belfore, I guess, in Dallas. That's not a shitty goalie. But then like... Chichmanic and Esch in Philly. Halak and Elliot before Elliott became anything in St. Louis. No, Elliot had some years.

Pascal Leclair in Columbus. Okay, that's something. So I think, again, for what they need, which is somebody to give this team any semblance of defensive structure, and they need a guy who can plaster over the deficiencies they have on the blue line and goal, he's a great coach.

There's too many deficiencies, though. Like, he's not... You think this is too heavy? for him to lift? I feel like that he's going to really tear up his back when he tries to lift Monty Nehemi and Kari Letton in from 904 to 922. I just don't know how he can do it, especially in a year.

The weird thing too is, is Nehemi and Lettinen are done after this year contract-wise, so you bring him in for just the one year to fix this, but like you still have to bring in like a real goalie you can make saves. And then once you're

bringing a real goalie that can make saves, whoever that is, maybe it's Ben Bishop, maybe it's whoever. Like, I feel like it's like, if you're bringing Ken and Schock in for like this one year sort of like makeover, and then you're going to bring in a guy you can actually get you to the Stanley Cup final. So you're saying he's a quick, fixed stopgap. Oh, no, he'll be there for like seven years. Right. But you're kind of talking about like he should be like Jim Rutherford was supposed to be before Jim Rutherford won a cup. And all of a sudden it's like, oh, I was a simple caretaker.

And now I'm going to be here for 25 years. I'm going to, you're going to have to wheedle me out in a coffin. Werthers? I was just thinking how it's like, it's like Mike Emrick if he were like a little bit older. Oh my. Of course, Ken Hitchcock's going to arrive in a coffin. Because he's Paul Bear.

I always think he's the other guy, the other manager who looks like Paul Bear. No, he's Paul Bear. Toddler's sake of you. Oh, you know he was Brother Love? Brother Love, not Buddy Love. Brother Love. Who's Buddy Love?

Buddy Love is like a character in something. From Hellfire and Brimstone Tyler. All right, let's say this. They keep the goalies. Okay. Does Dallas make the playoffs next year? Yes. Hitch gets results, man.

Man. And there's a lot of talent in their roster. Again, they keep the goal. Wasn't it getting them this year. They keep the goal. The goalies are not the problem. The problem is the defensive structure in that team resulted in a negative, I think it was like 32 goal differential. And then that fucking blue line.

Again, like, that's the problem with this team, is Jim Nill. Jim Nill has decided to turn the blue line over to a bunch of kids. You look at what Lindy Ruff had the first year he was there Compared to what he ended up with and it's fucking night and day Like it's insane the degradation of talent on that blue line and how he allowed it to happen And the only reason he allowed it to happen is because he was trying to throw the kids into rolls they weren't ready for And then and then you know you even something as simple as as you know having Gologoski leave and then Klingberg falls apart Because he doesn't have anybody to hold his hand anymore

Trevor Daley left too So what they'll end up doing by the way? is like overcompensating, making their Keith Yandel deal, you know. Campbell leaves, and they overpay for Yandel to hold Eckblatt's hand, and now they're going to go out and overpaid for somebody to hold Klingberg's hand, probably. All right, listen, Kevin Chatton Kirk. Got good barbecue here. Mm-hmm.

Good. Got a lot of water burgers all over the place. Yeah. Seven years, $130 million. What do you say? Oh, that's, that's at least $20 million less than what the devils are going to offer him. Boy, he's going to get. Is he, like, the best UFA to hit the market in, like, for?

Forever. Since Colchuk. He got me, he's up there. But he never hit the market. Oh, that's true. Devils re-signed him. So technically he never got out and went somewhere else and got a money. Was the last, like, Brad Richards?

Brad Richards might have been the last, like, celebrity, everybody going to his place to, like, court him. Remember that? There was, like, some weird, like, strip mall on Canada. Yeah, like, a little office. And then, like, TSN's outside. They're like, well, the Rangers contingent just showed up. And it's fucking hilarious. NHL.com.

The second the playoffs started to delete standings from their fucking head. You got rid of the same. standing's on their pitch. All right. So I think Hitchcock's fine. You are a little bit more wary of that. There has to be more than the same 30 goddamn coaches every year. Like there needs, there has to, like, can Hitchcock?

The funniest thing was, like, Mike Hikeke, who I love, like, in his story about, about Hitchcock. Mike Hikeka football. Mike. Thank you. Mike Hike up these prices. Mike Hike up your pants. Hike up, you scared a little more. He was like, I guess he can go home again.

And I'm like, at this point, I think it's pretty established in the NHL that everybody's going home again. Everybody can go home again. Yeah, Randy Carlisle went home. Claude. Clode went home. That's another second round matchup, too. Claude, Boston. That might be a thing.

Be beautiful. All right. Willie Desjardan turfed in Vancouver. The expectation is that Travis Green, their H. H.L coach will be their coach going forward. They want a younger guy to work with the kids that they're going to have there. The most interesting thing about that press conference that Jim Benning and Trevor Linden had was when the Siddines came up. And they're both like, this is what they're saying.

They're both like, you know what? we think the Siddins would love to be mentors and like mentor these kids and have a great time and be mentors for these guys and really mentor you know mentor the young guys and you know they're old and old people like young people and they'll love to mentor these guys and I'm thinking myself what what exactly what at what point next year the Sadiens both go in and be like you know yeah so you know me and Tomax we decided that we want to leave Cobra and go play for a playoff team um It has to happen, right? They're not going to fucking hang around in their way, unless they just don't want the, unless they don't want, they're Shane Don and they don't want to have to leave their house. Like,

I was thinking about this. Like, it's like a new phenomenon in sports where like, like Shane Donne never wanted to leave the area. Like he loved living there, his family there, he's got his horses. And then like,

like Tony Romo, guy who had a really good career, never got the play for the Super Bowl, was still coveted by teams right now. And he was like, I'd rather retire. I'd rather just retire a cowboy. and go fucking dress as a Dallas Maverick for a night

and then go do the booth stuff. But Romo's an interesting one because, like, you have to imagine that the CBS thing is established before he retires. And it's interesting. It's like, okay, I want this thing. Well, you can't have this thing. Okay, what's my other option?

Oh, you're a complete novice, but someone's going to give you the most important job on their network. Yeah, you're going to get a shit ton of money working once or twice a week during the year. Like, no one's coming to Shane down and being like, you're going to replace fucking Eddie Olcheck. No, but like, yeah,

But like, Shane don't, like, turn down the idea of, like, getting traded back when, like, he still had some value. Like, this year, obviously, the report was. He's like, I'll only go to Pittsburgh and nowhere else's Pittsburgh was like, oh, this is awkward. Oh, boy. Like, Shane, we did this thing with Roma again once, and it really didn't work out, so. Like, Tony Romo could have played, like, two or three more years for the Texans if the Dallas Cowboys let him go or they've made it happen. Like, he could have kept playing, but he was just like, I'd rather, you know, I'm happy. I'm content with what I've done.

The Cidines might be the, Cidines could be the same type of thing. Yeah. But they're just content to stay in Vancouver. Right. They got everything there. They've been there with their whole adult lives. Like maybe the idea of like going to Carolina or something. They don't want to do it.

I can get it. I mean, I don't get it. I would go anywhere while I could still play hockey when it cut. I always thought that it would be Detroit. Like, but Detroit's not going to be worth a damn anytime soon. Detroit might have that situation with Zetterberg at some point.

But Zetterberg strikes me as a, as a retireer, a Red Wing guy versus anything else. Yeah. Like a lot of these guys do. Yeah. Like I, do you think it's a hockey-centric thing? I don't know. Jerome McGillah kind of hunted it down for a little while but then he was like, fuck it, free weed in Colorado.

Yeah. I'm going to go hang out there for a few years. Yeah, that's right. But, I mean, it's like a new thing. Okay, first of all, it's not free weed. Oh, and you're an athlete, it's free. Somebody just brings it to you. Well, it's free all over the fuck.

You got to go to Denver? Yeah. Because free everywhere. Well, I mean, it's legal there, so like, you don't have to like, you know. Worry about the police coming and arresting Jerome McGinla for smoking a J? We've got to pay the courier, I guess, to go get it free when you're Rich. Dude, I'm going to Seattle

in a couple of weeks. All I can think about is how high I'm going to be for four days. It's going to be awesome. High on life because of all the wilderness. Yeah, like the fresh air. Yeah. It just really changes your brain chemistry.

What is it? What we're talking about again? Did Travis Green probably the coach? Willie had to go. Yeah. It's fine. He got a raw deal, but he's old and he's probably ain't getting another job.

Let's get to the one you really wanted to talk about. Dural Sutter had to be fired because the team quit on him. everybody hated him and he had probably done all the work he was going to do there the novelty he had worn off God bless him he is

the second biggest reason why they won two cups but the first biggest reason personal feelings aside Dave Lozo is Dean Lombardo is Dean Lombardi oh I did not see

Dean Lombardi being fired from the entirety of the organization. I thought Dean Lombardi would have gotten the Dale Talon treatment. No, that's good. I thought he's getting kicked upstairs. It's a way to do it. He got, he got, he got cut out of there. Like a band-aid. Like, cut the cancer out of your shoulder. Yeah. You're not going to take the cancer out of your shoulder and move it into your knee. You gotta get rid of it. That's how it works. All right, listen. I'm really conflicted on Lombardi. I think the way he built that team

and he was methodical about it. Yeah, the way he didn't trap Drew Doughty. No, but think of it this way. I was thinking about this the other day. He did stuff. You have a guy like George McPhee. He's not like Ray Sherro. Who held onto his assets, never made the smart moves,

never upgraded his talent to the point where it was a cup-worthy team. Who is this? McPhee. Okay. When he's with the capitals. Never upgraded the guys that he loved. Turned on the team the second they had won bad first round. Yeah, and lost his marbles and fired a great coat.

Yeah. Good luck in Vegas. Vegas, everybody. Exactly. Enjoy that team out there. But Lombardi held on to his prospects until it was time to make the aggressive moves. And, yeah, listen, I'm not going to lie. There's good fortune in drafting Drew Doudy. He didn't draft Drew Doughty.

What, I mean, there's good, the organization, I mean. Sure. There's good fortune in drafting Drew Douty. And there's good fortune in the flyers having an untenable drug problem in their locker room and everybody had to be traded. Yeah, that's a lot of good fortune falling in your lap. And him having been there and knowing probably firsthand about it. Right. And also, you know.

The trades were good. Justin Williams, Jeff Carter, Mike Richards. He did a really good job building that team. It's all he didn't do anything. Yeah. Like, I give Ray Sherr of almost no credit for the bankers. But you give Dean credit for those cups.

Yes, for sure. And he bought Sutter in. Brought Sutter in. Yeah. And then, you know. But then it kind of fell apart. He did the thing, he did the other thing that George,

George McPhee did, which is he loved his players too much. He needed to be Stan Bowman, but he wasn't Stan Bowman. He loved his players too much. He loved them huge contracts. He loved them to the point where he didn't trade them when they should have been traded. It's not like he gave. He loved them to look beyond horrific domestic violence to try to bring them back and have them be defensemen.

But that was the whole loyalty thing was just such bullshit. Like Mike Richards love loyal, loyal to him. And, like, yeah, like his game was never as good as it was in Philly as it was in, or as good in L.A. as it wasn't. Philly and then there's the whole going to visit him got the compliance buyout Mike I need you to work out I need you to I need you to do your thing and he was like all right all right dean yeah and they held each other and cried it did they were tears yeah and then they were family and then he was like fuck I need I need I need a way to get this guy off my team without ever having anything really affect the cap but why wasn't why wasn't there that level of ruthlessness with

gaberick who who he just got there Yeah, but he was there. I mean, you knew it. Coming into the season, you knew it. Yeah, but I mean, they got him in the middle of 2013-14 season, 14-15, and now, I mean, you can only frame so many guys for drug crimes and shame so many guys. The Dustin Brown taking away the C thing was such a fucking bullshit fucking dedicate. I love my players. Okay, I get it, Dustin Brown sucks now, but like he's still revered in the locker room and loved.

You're basically taking away the seat to set him up for a trade the next year. That never happened. Yeah. Well, no, though, if they're going to do it now, well, obviously he's not going to do it. But yeah, it's a setup to be like, well, you got to modify no trade. You know, we don't want you here as the captain anymore. You're miserable. Maybe we should get rid of you.

Like, it's just his loving of the players thing was such a fucking bullshit. He loved the players as long as they fucking produce for him. And when they produced for him, he loved them too much to the tune of being the general manager who handed. a goalie a goalie DPA road a 10 year contract that's 10 years

of our goalie being better than yours that's what he said that was what the Kings tweeted oh that's what they said yeah that's a good tweet at seven million dollars a season for 10 years

5.8 oh sorry 5.8 sorry but his basis is 7 million dowdy is 7 million I mean again like there's nothing wrong with like throwing a bunch of money at the dudes got you got you cups like drew doughty and jacopatar it's fine but i mean at some point you have to

get rid of them yeah but like no but like you at some point but like you can get rid of them legally like by buying them out the way you're supposed to yeah i mean dowdy's not the issue the issue the the issue is quick the issue's brown right like at some point like jonathan quick's gonna like get pulled over at a at a stop sign oh you're all through the stop sign huh pop the trunk there's gonna be like a dead body back there that fucking dean put in there when he was leaving the practice facility that wasn't me and then next thing you know it's like well we went to an arby trader and it looks like you're going to have to not only forfeit the rest of your contract, but we're going to have to actually take back the last two years because it turns out these

bodies have been in your trunk since 2011. It's amazing that we've gone from being a team that was close to being a dynasty to now, like, what happens? Do you think that they're going to go make a go of it one more year? And I guess the other question is like, now that all of Toronto has moved their attention from signing John Tavares to signing Drew Doughty. That's like the new thing now. He's going to be a leaf now.

Wait, Doughty signed through two more years? Doughty is signed through, I think he's two more years. Let me double check that. Yeah, he signed through 2019. But now everybody's talking about him going to Toronto in 2019. Yeah, but like, if you're going to get, why is Tavares off the table? Tavaris, that Doug Wight hiring his son. Because they don't need him as much anymore because they have all these kids now.

Oh. Yeah. Listen, you get, things move fast in Toronto, man. You got to stay on the ball. John Tavares is like 26 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's like, thank God we didn't get Stamco's.

If we had only known his ligaments were made of like Taffy and he was going to just tear everything all the time. I love her, Taffy. Drew Dowry. I love her, Taffy. Yeah, I just thought Dean Lombardi's whole fucking loving the players thing was such bullshit and just made me mad. It's not been the best year for him. He was the man at the helm of Team USA. And then he got to.

fired from the organization that he led the two Stanley Cups in the last like five years. The nucleus of go fucking yourself. How about that? The nucleus of Gary. How about that, buddy? I am going to miss. There's a certain, the great thing about Dean

was there were times when he would talk and you would listen to him and be like, wow, I'm getting the real from this guy. Like the one time when like he was talking about restricted free agents and someone was like, well, what is going to happen if someone makes a bid for like Copatar? And he's like,

go ahead. Like, I have a long memory, and the Ant Schutz own this team. I'll come at you. Like, pretty much that. And it was great. But he was also the guy who, for lack of a better term, was the NHL's greatest used car salesman. Oh, it's just kind of making up shit as he goes along. Oh, yeah.

You remember that? Like, the fucking clock malfunction. He's like, you know, the Columbo's or something there. You know, it's very much. Dan Aykroy with the bag of broken glass in Ness and L. He had that kind of thing going for him. I don't know that sketch. I was just picturing

Dan Aykroyd and Tommy Boy. Bag of broken glass is the sketch where he plays the president of a toy company. And it's Christmas time and it's a segment on hazardous toys and he's having to defend all the toys. And she's like, what about this one? This is just a bag of broke glass.

Ah, you know, kids love this thing. It's like a giant pillow except more dangerous. And like, that was always Dean Lombardier me. Just a great merchant of bullshit at times when he needed to be. I think that'll be an S&L sketch this week like Melissa McCarthy will dress up as Dean Lombardi and just quote him directly. That'll be the

whole sketch. That's going to be the thing this week. Oh man, Melissa McCarthy's owning Sean Spicer and you're like, wait, this is just a transcript from the press conference with the Hitler reference. That's not really good. All right. So by Dean,

by Sutter. It's going to be weird, man. You got Copatar and Dowdy as your pillars. You got quick still on contract. Carter signed through 2022. This is a team that you need to kind of reload. You can't tear it down. Oh, like, and I think you just go one more year.

Like whatever happens in terms of like the expansion draft and trading guys and shedding salary. But like you said, the West, the West is not, you know, it's trending up in some cases, but it's not like. Marion Gabbard could show up next year and score 27 goals. No, he can't. He's done. Wow. Cut him. Wow.

I'm out. Sianar. Or when he gets on a plane in LAX, make sure that he's carrying illicit, illegal stuff. Here's what you do. He'll get arrested. You take him on vacation to Mexico.

You take him to a Mayan temple. And then you throw him in the weeds at the temple. And then all the villagers will force him to stay there, like in that movie, the ruins. That's the movie. I knew it was a movie. Because now the weeds are inside of him. Yes.

So it's almost like it's not your fault. Like he totally went on his own for on vacation. But now the villagers won't let him leave. They'll shoot him before he gets out of there because the vines are in him. Did we ever find out how Dean Lombardi found out about Mike Richards? Did we ever like get to the bottom of like who made the phone call to him? Because like if you are arrested, like let's say you are crossing the border with like, I don't know, like stolen WWE tights or something, whatever. I don't know what you would steal from your

Some like WrestleMania event happens in Winnipeg and you're driving back in. Coffey Kingston, what's wrong? Man, someone took my tights. They find a trunk full of tights and you're like, fuck, I'm nailed. How would your bosses at Yahoo

learn about it if you yourself didn't tell them? Like who, because it's a close investigation. First calls the family. Right. And then family calls a lawyer. Because you never think you're in that situation. Right. Maybe you call your agent if you're like famous like my Mike Richards.

But who is ratting you out to your boss who is dying to just terminate your contract? Like that's what I want that like, that's the part of it I don't get. Because like if you were to call up the Royal Canadian Mount of Police and be like, hey, what's the latest on this Mike Richard thing? They'd be like, well, we're working on it, sir. Can't talk about an ongoing investigation,

old chap. It's a British guy you got hired there. It's a former Bobby. Yeah, yeah. They transfer all over the country. I can't believe. I was a bucking about this last year. Now I'm in fucking Saskatoon. I got this guy nicked on some oxy cotton. Like, how does Dean Lombardi find out about that?

Like, I feel like that must have been brought up in the arbitration thing where he got money out of the deal. He got some of his money from his contract back because, like, there had to be some sort of thing where somebody broke a law or broke a chain of command and told him about it. Unless, like, Mike Richards did, which I don't believe he did. I thought it was a situation where, like, he found about, if there was going to be some trade or whatever, and then, like, he found out about it at the draft. Yeah, like, he got the call at the draft. Yeah, but like it's like it ruined the trade that he was going to do allegedly. Allegedly he got to call at the draft. Right.

I don't know. I just like whether it's like someone in the police or their Dean Lombardi, I don't know, framing him for the crime, possibly. I just, I want, I'd love to get to the bottom of that story. I feel like that part of the story was never explained. Last, last, the hang-in thread from this conversation about the Kings. Who's the new coach going to be? Do you think they go young? Do you think, do you think Rob Blake?

goes to somebody he used to play with or play under or whatever like that's a possibility to. About Dallas Hacons could be that. John Stevens doesn't see, I got, did he get fired? I don't even know. I think they let him go. I know they let Davis Payne go.

Oh, Davis Payne is who I'm thinking of who they like. John Stevens, I don't know. I don't know. It's obviously a desirable spot you know, for a lot of guys. Yeah, Southern California. It's warm all that. Oh, you mean the team. Oh, yeah, that's that's okay. too. Maybe that's where Dave Tippett goes. Not too far away from home.

Dave Tippett just got a sweet deal in Arizona. He's not going anywhere. Yeah, he gets to be everything there because his general manager is a child. He gets to be, yeah. Right. He's just basically like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't eat with your hands, John. Use the fork and knife like we taught you. Dave, I decided I don't think we should really go for this trait. Well, all right. I mean, I got you this Nintendo Switch to celebrate the trade. You got a what? Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God. Breath of the Wind, breath of the wind. Okay, I'm going to make the trade. I'm going to totally make the trade for you.

It's so cool that you did that for me, tips. Look, Dave, you had a good run here. You know, it's a bad mix. What's that? What's that under your shirt there? The complete first season of Riverdale. The complete first season. I love that show. Oh, the characters are so great and edgy.

What was I saying? Contract extension? Yeah, sure. Here's more power. Thanks. A bike. I could ride this everywhere. So, Dave, I think we're going to have to probably let you go.

Well, that's great. I mean, don't tell me. I mean, opens the door. Tell him. A magician in my office? Oh, it's amazing. Don't tips. This is the bat.

This is the bat. Oh my God. Yeah, no, it's best that you let me go because you're right. I think it's just a clash of just, you know, culture and personalities. You know, the clash is actually one of my favorite musical groups going up. Do you ever heard of them? No, no, no, no. What about them?

And he opens a door and it's, it's just. The story so far. It's the Jonas Brothers. Jonas Brothers. Wow. All right. Kellyn's been tweeting a lot about how. hot tubs lately. I hope he's okay. No, it's because

their bands back in the studio, he said. Yeah, but then like, friend of the podcast. Friend of the pocket, but he keeps saying like, how can we be doing a new record when we're in a hot tub? Like, he's been in the hot tub for like four days. Like, a hot tub for a couple hours is good. At this point, I feel like he's just mostly... No, a hot tub for a good. The recommended time in a hot tub is like 15 and 20 minutes. No shit. Yeah, if you go stay in a hot tub at a hotel, there's a sign that says don't be in this fucking hot tub from we're in 20 minutes. Oh, that's because there's like 50 people peeing in it. If it's just you by yourself. Or to keep it moving.

Some more people can get in. I didn't even think about that either. Tough shit, man. Once I'm in the hot tub, oh, the hot tub is great. I miss obvious things sometimes. Like, for example, I was talking to Megan Duggan from the U.S. Women's National Team. Name drop. They were here in town out of doing some press. And I asked her, I'm like, so did you hear, did you hear from the Canadian players at all during this stuff with USA hockey? Like this labor face off, like sisters in arms, kind of like, you know, hey, we got your backs on this as you're struggling. and fighting to get yours and face

the face of oppression, gender oppression. And she's like, not really. Wow. And then I'm like, oh, that's kind of terrible. I'm like, oh, but wait a second. Like, they totally don't want you in this tournament. Like, I missed the complete obvious thing. Why would they back them?

Like, the best thing would be like to be like silent and then it gets, and then worlds goes by and then they're like, oh my God, this whole thing was how, we were looking for you at the tournament and we didn't see you there and we didn't know why, and it was because of this late, oh, we totally have your backs now. No, there's, come on.

If you're in Canada, you know you're one of the two good teams and the whole thing, and if you win it without the other good team there, everyone knows it's a bullshit win. Not their fault. That's Team USA's decision, much like when Ovechkin wins gold next year in Fyong Chang. Not his fault, the NHL didn't go. He found a way. Oh, my God. Ovechkin, on his own in the Olympics, is going to be like our fantasy of Ovechkin time traveling to the 40s. crushing everybody.

Just fucking steam rolling, steam rolling some, like, some Korean guys, just fucking steam rolling like some 41-year-old fucking American plumber. Oh, it's going to be great. Alex, I just want to let you know

you're my favorite player. I will break you. I must destroy you. All right, now is the time on the podcast. What a hockey-centric podcast it is where we open up the puck soup mailbag and stick our hands inside

and hopefully don't find anything gooey. Andrew Dojack wants to know Have you ever had a worthwhile Hotel Continental Breakfast? No. And the answer is completely, but only at one place. I'll put them over on this podcast.

The Embassy Suites. Have you ever stated at NBC Suites? Probably. They are... Oh yeah, in D.C., I definitely did for one. Yeah, there's one in D.C. that you're thinking of. I know exactly what you're thinking of. That's the place where you get to, like,

they have, like, a make-your-own-on-armlet bar. they've got all kinds of food it's fucking great like if I was a homeless guy there ain't no way I wouldn't weasel my way into the embassy suites on a Sunday morning and get myself a little something I'm sure a homeless guy's never thought of that

I don't know every time I'm down there I assume that there's going to be one and there isn't like my problem with the continental breakfast is it like ends at like eight and sorry man I enjoy a good free breakfast as much as the next guy what's the sketch what's the the thing

in a general sense in a continental breakfast that you try to shy away from. Because you know it might wreak havoc on your tummy. Is it the eggs? I was going to say it was more like the cream cheese. It's kind of just sitting there. The tubs of Philly cream cheese that aren't under on ice.

They're just kind of, it's just, you like, you like touch the side of it. See how cold it is? And you're like, it's cold enough. And then you're at the rink an hour later and you're just like... Then you open it and it looks like a substitute teacher's chalk. Oh, no, no. It's like, it's like, it looks like somebody's spit in it. There's like weird water on the top of it. Right. There's shit not

It would be a film. Yeah. A watery film on top of the cheese. Yeah, no thanks. It's always eggs from me. I can't trust that the eggs... They're probably instant. They were probably powdered eggs or whatever.

Can't trust it. Stay away from it. No. Not a fan. R.B. says, curious, what do you think is the best Billy Joel song? It's the downeaster Alexa, correct? Yeah, that's the right answer. No.

Yeah, it's the right answer. You got it right. Seen some Italian restaurant. Brenda and Eddie. We're still going steady. Brenda and Eddie. Popular Steady, Summer 75. Then they decided the marriage would be at the end of July, dog.

There's only one answer, and obviously it's a river of dreams. In the middle of the night, Mikey. Dog, you go walk it and you sleep. Terry Kelly wants to know what's the most underappreciated HBO show ever. My vote goes to Summer Heights High, which is a very funny show. Flight of the Concordes doesn't get its due either. Flight of the Concordes definitely gets it to do. And probably gets more due than it needs because the latter seasons were very uninspired.

I felt most underappreciated HBO show ever, man. I'm going to go way back on this one, ready? When you say, Dream On? Dream on. Yeah. Well, I mean, it was a formative year show for me and you that had a lot of nudity. Right. So it makes a lot of sense that it would be like that for you.

Oh, I know which one it is. What's that fucking one with Schwartzman and Ted Danson? Yeah. Board to death was great. Board to death. Yeah. That's the most underappreciated HBO show of all time. That was a ridiculously funny show.

Yeah, I changed my answer to war to death. Yeah. That was, that was, oh, show was so fucking funny. Jeremy Casperson. Casperson. K-A-S-P-E-R-S-O-N. Like person, like Cassperson. Casperson. Casperson Capitin?

If you're stuck in a hotel during the Stanley Cup playoffs, which town has the best distractions, worst distractions, complete boredom? So where do you want to be? want to be stuck and where don't you want to be stuck if you're I guess you're saying of like if you have to cover a series oh like I'm like like stuck in a hotel there's nothing to do or you have work to do I guess it's like if you have a night of whatever when Chicago is the answer for where you want to be I mean dude I've been so many cities at this point I kind of know I've seen a million

cities and I've fallen asleep at 930 and all of them um I like Toronto a lot man Toronto's Toronto's a really fun city Toronto's got good food and good people like we know all the people up there too Chicago's good the one city I'm trying to think of a city I didn't like St. Louis

I've never been to St. Louis I went there for the winter classic and I had a really good time but like St. Louis is a place where you need a car you need to be able to go away from where the

arena and the stadium are Ottawa sucks like that too yeah and Ottawa is well do you stay out by the arena or do you stay downtown if you're up there I mean I was only there for that Ranger Ottawa series

in 2012 and like had to rent a car just to like I stay downtown and then had to drive out there but like those days where like the morning skate was out there and there's no way to get back and just sat out there oh fuck use the gym in the building um bad city

Vancouver's good I don't love DC I do it's okay yeah Philly's okay it's fine the answer is Chicago for where you want to be yeah I'd say Chicago or Toronto one of those two

Glenn wants to know my co-worker is in his 30s and goes to Disney at least once a year. That's weird, right? By himself? Well, that's the thing. If it's by himself, it's kind of weird. I mean, like... Unless you're getting super ripped. Unless you're going Seth Rogen, seeing Cirque de Soleil.

But, like, he went with Paul Rudd. He didn't go by himself. Oh, that's a good point. That's true. You did have a buddy there. Yeah, I feel like if you're going to, like, a child's park by yourself, unless, like, you're getting over, like, a loss of a child. Oh, my God.

I'm just trying to think of scenarios, but the guy's not weird. Wow. Like, I know that's kind of dark, but, like, you know, you go there and the laughing children reminds you of your son or something. Oh, wow. Like, Tom Cruise and Minority Report, you know, like, you'd watch all the old films of his, like, maybe that's... Yeah, well, it was on drugs.

Right. Yeah. Well, yeah, you get high and you remember stuff. Like, maybe this guy, maybe... Like, that's a thing. Like, this guy, it's a co-worker, right? So you're basically telling Glenn, we might need a little bit more context on why this guy goes to Disney.

Because, like, if it was his friend, he would probably know the answer. It's a coworker, so you probably don't know why the co-worker does it. Maybe he's part of a secret society from Tomorrowland, and he's actually going into some workshop to build jet packs. Yeah, maybe he works there. Maybe he works there, yeah. Maybe he's the guy building the Donald Trump Hall of President's animatronic Donald Trump, and he doesn't want to tell anybody about it, and he's super embarrassed.

Hey, why do you get all this orange hair all over your sleeves? My hall is going to be the biggest hall in the whole Hall of Presidents. Jee, jit, chit. Yeah Right Actually tell this guy We'll tell this guy Find out this guy's phone number

We'll call him and ask him Andrew Clark wants to know Do you watch movie trailers I'm avoiding Thor Ragnarach To avoid spoilers But I fear my curiosity Will get the better of me

I was reminded after seeing Get Out Which was great by the way Why Sometimes you should do your best To avoid trailers Because the trailer for Get Out In hindsight

gives away the entire movie, like the entire movie. You don't know what at the time, but when you're in there and you, if the trailer is fresh in your mind, you'll be, the only problem with trailers isn't like, I have less of a problem with giving away money shots because you have to sell the movie at the end of the day.

My biggest thing is when they give away, when all the money shots are at the end or whatever, and then you're in the movie and you're like, I've not seen this, like, thing. That's why I actually respect the Rogue One thing that they did. which was that they put a bunch of scenes in the trailer that aren't even in the movie.

Like there's a scene where Arabel comes running out and there's a fucking tie fighter that like rises up in front of her and that's not even in the movie. And there's a scene that's in all of the trailers where she's like dressed as an imperial officer and they just shot it one day. The story is they shot it one day because they had this really cool set.

And Arabelle is like, I want to go hang out here and dress like an imperial officer. Like, go ahead. We'll just shoot it. And they'll look cool. And they wanted to put it in all the fucking trailers, and it's not even anywhere near the movie. Like, do that shit.

I don't mind that. I disagree completely, because I decide whether or not I'm going to see a movie pretty much based on the trailer. I feel like the trailer will tell you 95% of the time if the movie's good or not. I got two words to you on that score, Suicide Squad. Trailer was amazing.

Movie was the worst superhero movie made ever, maybe. Once Batman was on the fucking car, like, you knew that was going to be bad. Anchorman fooled me. I thought Anchorman looked bad. that obviously wasn't bad. Yeah. But the trailer thing happened recently

where I was in the theater and I was like, oh, this guy's gonna fall off the, oh, because of like, that definitely happens, but that's kind of how I make my decisions. That and, like, the reviews never really tell me much. I just read them, I like,

I like reading hate-filled reviews, like David O'Derlix. Boy, when he hates something, man, like he hates something. That's what, you know, my muse is a writer is Roger Ebert because when he hated something, Not only would he be super bitchy about it,

but he would be so like just laud, like, flaying it with logical daggers. This was great. It was beautiful. All right, two quick things here. Scott Aveski wants to know, the cafeteria where I work serves only Hunt's ketchup. I need to quit, right?

Yeah, I don't know. All ketchup is the same. No, no. My God! What the f-f-no! Just tomato paste with sugar in there. Heinz is demonstrally better than the hunts. It's all the same.

No, you're completely wrong. We're doing a taste test next week. Okay, you're on. That's a great idea. I'm going to go to five guys, get French fries, and bring it a bunch of other ketchup. Give me three ketchup.

Give me Hunts. Mm-hmm. Give me Heinz and give me an artisan ketchup from like Brooklyn. I can go to Brooklyn for this? No, you can find it at any store. Like go to fucking Whole Foods or whatever. It'll be there. But find me an artisan ketchup,

hunts and Heinz, and I will tell you exactly which is which. They're all this. All right. The great ketchup taste off next week on puck soup. Finally, this is a hanging thread from a previous episode

Jason Waterfalls Don't go Jason Waterfalls Wants to know why you like the white socks Frank Thomas Is that the reason? When I was a kid I I liked the Mets when I was really little and then they fired Davy Johnson

And I was mad about that Like any rational 10 year old would be That a 55 year old man lost his job Like, that's what kid sports fans do, right? They get mad because managers get fired. And then I saw, like, Frank Thomas' like baseball card. And I was like, look at this giant dude. Yeah.

I'm going to like this dude. And, like, he was just the best. So you liked the white socks because of one player? Frank Thomas wrote me into the white socks. Wow. Because he was so good. Like, he was, like, this gigantic dude. Like, baseball today.

Baseball today. The big hurt. The big hurt. Yeah. Like, and he had such a batter's eye. And, like, he could walk. And, like, he was not great in the field as he got heavier. as he got older. I remember there was a postseason series

against the Mariners. The White Sox were down 2-0 and it was game 3 as the divisional series and Eitreau was up and there was like a guy on third. It was like bottom of the 9th, and he just bunted right at Frank Thomas and he knew it. The game was over. Frank Thomas was not going to make that play and throw at home. I think the closest I ever came to liking

a team based on one player was maybe Griffey. Like I was kind of into the Mariners as my American League team solely because of Griffey growing up. I can see that. Yeah. I understand that. I don't understand the full on commitment to a franchise when you have two perfectly good baseball teams here in the New York metropolitan area.

Well, fuck the Yankees. The Yankees were also terrible when I was a kid. Yeah. Between the 80s and the mid-90s, they were pretty bad. And then they got good, and suddenly everybody was a fucking Yankees fan. How'd you avoid the Mets?

No, I was a Mets fan. And what happened? I just told you. Oh. I feel like Dave did come to in. I must have missed the part where you like, you like, turn your Mets car.

in for Frank Thomas. I just explained that a minute ago. Why male models? Sorry. We're doing one more because I feel like this is an important question. Please. Please. Lay, who's Ahem-Hem on Twitter, says, does everyone's back hurt when they get to their mid-20s? Because I was up until 3 a.m. last night, and everyone else should be in pain to. This is an important time of your life, Lay, because Whoa. Hey, how's it going? Hi. Here's the thing. When you turn 30, you're dead. Your life's over. People will try and convince you that's not true. Go ahead. Keep going. We have some PR, this PA stuff going here. Go ahead. It's a man trying to silence me and keep me from telling you the truth. It's going to get worse.

Parts of your body that you didn't even think about in your 20s are going to hurt more and more. You're going to hurt stuff. Like you're going to hurt your like arm rolling over in the middle of the night. You're going to you're going to like your back, your knees, your shoulders, all this stuff is going to hurt. But it's good that you've identified it in your mid-20s because you probably have three or four more years left of perfect health. Like you got to be like Costanz on Seinfeld when the guy saw he was starting to go bald. You have to live your life to the fullest for the next three years. Go to the doctor for the back thing because that may be a chronic situation you should monitor. Right.

But as you get older, every sensation you've enjoyed in your earlier life gets less so. Hangovers get worse. It's just, I don't know how mid-20s you'll. are. Like when I was 28, I would say mid-20s. If you have two or three years left, embrace them. Hold on to them. The only thing that I find disturbing about me getting older is that I am, I'm starting to get like my dad where I used to be able to stay up until three o'clock in the morning watching TV or writing or whatever, but now I'm getting the nod-offs. Like I'll, it'll be like 1130. I'm like, all right, I'm just going to like hang here. I know I have

to write something later tonight. Then I'll like, the next thing I'll know, I'll wake up and it'll be like two o'clock in the morning and I've fallen asleep in the couch. Body's not falling apart. Body's not falling apart. My body's tight. Wow. I've taken really good care of it. It's been petrified by all the alcohol inside me.

But the sleeping, the sleepy thing is a new, a new wrinkle. I strained my forearm. I was telling Greg when I got her, I strained my forearm on the way here, tying my shoes. I pulled too tight on my right sneaker and like my right forearm was like, and I was like, whoa, we're just tying our shoes. And the last like two hours, like I've been kind of having this weird pain in my forearms. So like I feel like I'm not going to do anything strenuous later.

I don't mean masturbate. I mean like go to the j. Is it your jerkin arm? It's the jerkin arm. Oh, no. Yeah. I might have to put this off for a couple days. The jerkin arm sounds like an amazing crime, crime, true crime novel.

That was actually the original script to the fugitive. I'm looking for a man with no jerkin arm. I don't care. I don't want your arm. I want you to search every outhouse, dog house, whore house, penthouse, and find this man drinking off with a fake arm. You will go into every single board authority bus terminal bathroom. You will go into every... By the way, this is a question on another podcast I was going to do this week, but I had no time, was let's say you go to someone's...

You're staying at someone's place. You're on vacation. You're in someone's, like, house apartment. Now, this is a friend of yours? A friend of yours. Okay. You're in town. You're staying at their place.

All right. How and when do your rub one out? Are you in a guest bedroom? You're staying, we'll say guest bedroom, sure. Okay. Guest bedroom. Yeah? Yeah, sure.

So even if you're only there for a weekend. Yeah, the assumption is that they're going to change the sheets when you're done in that room, right? Oh, you're doing it on the sheets? You're not going to, like, find, like, a tissue or something or nothing? No, I mean, the assumption, you're talking about where, are you talking about where you should shoot? No, I'm saying, well, that's, that's the point. Wait a minute. That's the part you got to worry about. I would assume it would be probably in a tissue.

Oh, because you were like, I thought you were like Leon on Curve Your Enthusiasm where you just did it on the sheets. No, I'm saying like just where the act would happen. Oh, okay. Like, as opposed to like a balcony. Well, I mean, if it's a high enough up, no one can see anything, right? Oh, they didn't predict rain today. Because like my answer was I just wouldn't do it.

It's a weekend. Like, I can last a weekend. You know what I mean? Like, you don't have to like, boy, I'm sure I'm horny in my friend's place. Got to crank one out now. but if it's like a week then maybe you gotta kind of release the pipes I guess it depends on the jerk

What the fuck man You gave me the scenario Where you're jerking off in somebody's house And then you pulled it all the way back And you're like What's wrong with you? Why would you jerk off In someone's house? The very premise of the question is You're jerking off in someone's house

That was the question And then you turned it all around You're like for pervert You're such an asshole It was a it is an if you're going to do it situation. You don't have to do it. Unless it's like a compulsion.

But seriously, like, how would you kill her? Oh, I mean, I would probably opt for a sign. Like, you'd kill her? Oh, my God. The answer is you don't kill her. Oh, my goodness. I can't believe you committed murder. All right.

So anyway, Cap-Holism Wild to the cup. I like the caps in seven. And he likes them in six. Let the game is. Well, the game's already begun by the time you hear this poor shit. But the Cups, the Stanley Cup playoffs are the best. Get all your friends to watch them.

Tell all your non-hockey friends to at least check out some overtime games if they see on Twitter that a game went to overtime. It's the best. And, you know, we're very cynical on the show, but I say there's not any cynicism, that the Stanley Cup playoffs are the best championship tournament

in team sports without question. Better than March Madness. But in the NFL, NBA is sort of the reverse of it where their first round is atrocious and their later rounds are better. Every round was bad in football this year. Yeah, baseball can't have called the candle to it. The Stanley Cup playoffs are the best thing. Thing in sports, in my opinion.

NCAA tournament was bad this year. Everything up until the Super Bowl was bad. Baseball playoffs. I think the Blue Jays got swept. I don't remember being a lot of good series. I'm not talking about one. I'm not talking about World Cup or Olympic. I'm like an annual sporting event, the Cup playoffs are the best.

So please do enjoy them. Please like my playoffs. Please like my playoffs. The bra and Stubbs his toe and can't play in the playoffs. And Gregory Campbell, you got to put in a wood chip already played. Last year's NBA playoffs are pretty good. Last two rounds, anyway. I'm Greg Wushinsky, if you always sports puck daddy blog.

Check out all the playoff action on Puck Daddy. We'll be around doing a lot of stuff. It'll be great. And here is, oh, buy my book. Take your eye off the puck. Read something when your team gets eliminated. It's a great book. Here's Dave Lozo.

Um, do I have any final thoughts? Be good to each other. That's what Springer always used to say. Anything, anything grind in my gears? My gears are pretty clear, I feel like, now. No, I got nothing. Katie, you can cut this part out at the end.

Katie's on it there this week. All right. Just on vacation. Let's call it a podcast. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.