Puck Soup - What If Lightning Blow It?

Episode Date: March 21, 2019

Greg, Ryan and Sean discuss the Tampa Bay Lightning juggernaut and whether their journey ends with a Stanley Cup. Plus, breaking down the NHLPA player poll, Gritty's sidekick, Brad Marchand's trolling, "Bill and Ted 3" and Wyld Stallyns, Mike Babcock vs. Kyle Dubas, the Blackhawks' playoff push, NES "Duck Hunt," Ichiro and your saddest NHL retirements.

Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slap shots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, it's in tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hockey and Nonsense. Puck Soup. I'm Greg Wischinski of ESPN. I'm Ryan Lambert from Yahoo. I'm Sean McIndoo from The Athletic.

And you're in Puck Soup. By the way, welcome back, Sean. Thank you. I heard you guys missed me deeply. People were wondering why you were so quiet last episode. And then it turned out you were on vacation. We didn't announce it because we're just stupid idiots. Just didn't have a lot to say, you know, just kind of you guys were covering it.

I've known Lambert for maybe now over a decade. At least a decade maybe more. A little more. My one, my 10-year anniversary of Yahoo is a week from today. Oh, that's so fantastic. They probably give you, what, a purple swatch watch for a 10-year anniversary? I don't think I'm going to be getting anything at all. But that's fine.

I didn't know until about 30 seconds before this show that you attended the Monday Night Raw, where, spoiler, Vince McMahon was revealed as the higher power in the... The Ministry of Darkness. The Steve Austin Ministry of Darkness feud, what was the, can you take, can you take me back, to that moment in which Vince McMahon revealed himself, he took off the hood and said, it was me, Austin, it was me on the long. I don't know if I've ever said this publicly, but I do have like a real, my uncle works for Nintendo connection to WWF slash E dating back. since the mid-90s. When I was a little-ish kid, probably eight, nine, ten years old, something like that.

Little Lambert. That's right. My aunt and uncle and cousin moved to a new house, and I was over there one summer, a summer day. And his neighbor across the street was like mowing his lawn, and I was wearing some kind of a wrestling shirt. And he was like, hey, uh, are you, uh, my,

uh, are you, uh, are you, like, and you like wrestling? And I said, yeah.

And he said, my wife is Howard Finkel's sister. And I was like, are you serious, dude? You know, and he was like, yeah,

100%. Um, and, and like, do you really like wrestling? I was like, yeah, I love it.

I watch it every week, whatever. Um, and he's like, okay, anytime you want to go to wrestling, Let your uncle know, and I will get you tickets through Howard Finkel. Please tell me that you had the pleasure of dining at the home of Henrietta Finkel.

She's like, would you like more turkey? Here is the giblets. I never met the Fink, but he came through with tickets for, I would say, the entirety of the attitude era, without fail to pay-per-views, to Raws, to house shows, everything. And so, yeah, I was at the higher power, and always really good seats, too. I was at the Higher Power, Raw.

I was at the Raw where Mick Foley won the title in Worcester. A couple other ones that were like, man, I can't believe I was here for that, just because it seemed like every week back then. On the Higher Power one, though, do you recall if everybody, in the arena knew at that point it was going to be McMahon? Or what was the vibe?

Do you be surprised when it happened? I was a bit of a smirk at the time, Greg. This is 98, 99. No. So, yeah, that's right. So I, if I didn't know, I had a, I was pretty sure it was Vince McMahon. And then the second he hit the ramp like to walk out and he was walking with like his hands out like a weird priest or whatever. and he had a hood on, obviously.

I was like, oh, that's Vince McMahon. 100% that's Vince McMahon. And, I mean, I remember the arena going bat shit. Like, again, Mick Foley winning the title is the loudest, you know, applause I've ever heard. Like, insane. Just crazy. But, like, I remember the place going ballistic when it was Vince McMahon. So.

Chat, chat me up. Who booked this shit? I want to say it was probably Vince. I was on the Richard Deich podcast this week, and he also had Conrad Thompson on. And at no point was there an opportunity for me to do a Conrad Thompson impression, and I was so pissed off. By the way, my favorite Howard Finkel thing of all time was when MSG Network in New York used to run the MSG House shows as just like a three-hour, you know, stationary camera block. Yep. And it was amazing.

Oh, it closed circuit. Yeah, exactly. It was so fucking cool. And my favorite thing about Howard Finkel was that at some point during the show, he would come out and announce the next card at MSG. So people would be encouraged to, you know, buy tickets that day for that show. So it was always amazing to have him be like, you know, because it was like he had a secret. It was always like, you know, you know, we would be like, the hunky-tunk man. And then everybody would go, boo.

We'll take on Dick the Snake Roberts. And everybody like, yeah, my brother. That's so cool, dude. You'd run, run to go get tickets to see that on the next card. God damn. Wrestling, baby. It's the best. Oh, by the way, we're going to probably do a wrestling bonus episode on the Patreon next month for WrestleMania as an FYI.

So keep your eyes out open for that. The NHL player poll, I'm sorry, NHLPA player poll came out. Their first line is often imitated but never duplicated. That's a shot at your employer's song. Yes, it was. Yep. Which I thought was, you know, cheeky. So Connor McDavid won everything, basically, that he was up for.

I still find it amazing. Do you think that it's a situation where when the question is, who is the player you'd select to start a franchise with? Do you think that there is a list of like 10 guys and they just had people vote on it? No. Because who in their right mind would pick Nathan McKinnon over either Connor McDen? I don't, but there's clearly not a list of guys because all of these answers, it's like the other section is like 70%. Unless they only do it for a few, it seems like they're just getting all these random.

But yeah, you're like even picking, like I'm a Leafs fan, but picking Austin Matthews over Connor McDavid as a franchise story is bizarre to me. Like I could I kind of get why somebody might say Crosby even though obviously picking somebody in their 30s would be insane. At least it's like, you know, you're just picking the best player. But, yeah, McKin. Yeah, he spent 12 years as the best player in the world. So it makes a little bit of sense. We can let that one pass. But yeah, like, I don't know.

Well, yeah, they think McKinnon's, there's more people who thought McKinnon was the best forward than Kutura, which is also interesting. And also there was more people that slightly more people thought that Patrice Bergeron would be better to start a franchise with than Nathan McKinnon. So apparently it's like a bunch of fourth liners that are like, well, you got to win a face off at some point. the franchise. True. Yeah, no, McKinnon rated higher than Kuthorov, which to me is like obvious Russian bias. Also, he's a wing, Kuturov, so. Also, it bears mentioning, it bears mentioning that Alexander Barkoff was both the fifth

highest vote getter for the best forward in the entire fucking NHL. Like, your options are Connor McDavid, Sidney Crosby, McKinnon, Kuturoff, Matthews, everybody. Barkoff finishes fifth and yet somehow finishes first for most underrated player. So, I mean... Right. I know this is like your big

bellywick, right? Like, you're always mad about who's underrated or whatever. And I think the argument that I would make for this is anybody who's smart about hockey, generally speaking, is like Sash Barcov kicks ass. We all love him. Everybody thinks he's awesome. He's a pros,

pro, that kind of thing. Yeah. But, like, could, like, if you said, give me a list of the 200 best hockey players. Do you think the average fans coming up with Sasha Barkov? I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know. I mean, you're assuming that the average fan doesn't know anybody on the Panthers. Right. Yeah, pretty much.

Right. Okay. Well, I mean, that's a fair assumption. But I just find it hilarious. Like, these are, these are the, these are NHPA players, though, who are like, he's the fifth best forward in hockey and also nobody appreciates how good he is. Well, maybe he's the third best player in hockey. Right?

Like, for real, though. There's only one guy. You're right. It is in my Baileywick. It drives me fucking mental when people are like, Nick Baxter, who's sixth in points since 2012 and now has the Stanley Cup to his credit, is underrated. There's only one guy in the top five here that I think is actually underrated at this point, which is Mika Rantan.

Like, the other ones were Barkoff, Bauer, Axtram Point who everybody salivates over in because Netsoff who's fucking incredible. But like, Rattan, you could say, you know, is he a product of Bacannon and Landiscag? Is he really good on his own? Like, you could legit say that he might be underrated at this point. I don't know. I mean, more than Barkov, more than, Christ, more than Mitch Marner. Like, I was shocked Mitch Marner wasn't on that list.

Mitch Marter is incredible. I don't know. Can you be underrated when you're in Toronto, though? In Toronto, maybe not. Yeah. But I thought Barkoff was the right choice, actually. That's, you know. Yeah, that sounds about right to me.

That works for me. I'm telling, it's the Louis Erickson rule. You can't be underrated for five years running. And that's what Barkoff is right now. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, no, no. He's at least been the most underrated player for at least like the last two or three of these.

Wow. He's fourth for the Selke. He went to the NHL Awards last year. I don't think he's underrated anymore. I think, I think your point is, that is the only one that's salient, which is that he might be underrated because he's playing for the Panthers. And they, they're sorry.

I think it also depends who's doing the underrating. Like, is he underrated by his fellow players or by the media or by the fans? Like, I think you'd get three different results on that. I think players know, clearly no Barkov's good. The media has slowly but surely caught up. I'm not sure Joe average fan is there quite yet. That's what I'm saying, yeah. But that's the point, though, is that the players said he was underrated, though.

Yeah, but they didn't say by who. They're not saying by them. It wasn't who's underrated by fellow players. I get what you're saying now. Yeah. Well, they're wrong. Brad Marchand won best trash talker and worst trash talker. Brad Marchand, the morning of this podcast recording lashed out at Joe Hagridi of Hacks with Hags saying that Joe Haggerty is too busy, quote, at the snack bar to watch the Bruins play hockey.

Well, I mean, so, okay, he said that in response to Hags. Haggardie saying the Bruins might be better off without Tori Crew, which is insane. Yeah. What a take. That's, that's true. That's like real Joe Haggerty hours. That's incredible shit. But like, yeah.

So my take on this was, you know, I think that's a real Wayne Gretzky, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Like Brad Marchand is just talking shit to everybody all the time. And sometimes he really crushes a guy and sometimes it's a swing and a miss. but he's just put he's just he's Russ Westbrook he's put 50 he's Kobe I mean putting up 50 shots a game and saying what happens the other thing is like what's what is the difference between good and bad trash talk like if I'm playing against Brad Marchana he says something that really hurts my feelings is that good trash talk or bad trash talk or I don't know I found it weird that this was the only question where they did a bad version of the

question like yeah who's the most overrated player in the league howards yes I want overrated I want Worst fans, you cowards, if you're going to take shots at other people who do these polls and you're going to claim that you're like the only one worth, you've got to ask real questions. Don't be such a wimps. They used to do like worst, worst ice and worst arena. They used to do that in the poll. They got rid of that. They don't even do that. The word worst is an interesting one because you're right. Like is worst that Marchand is willing to go after, you know, your mother? Yeah. Or is worst that he's like a trash talk around the level of. of a Bif Tannen. Like, what does worst mean? And then also the interesting thing for me is, to speak to your point, Ryan, this makes me think that Brad Barshan is the walking embodiment of the movie Deadpool, where it's just throw every joke you possibly can at the screen,

and then a few of the dick jokes will stick, and then some of them won't. But overall, you're going to be entertained by it. The real interesting thing about this poll is Nick Cousins. Were either any of us aware of Nick Cousins being A, A, a Trash Talker, be one of the best or C one of the worst? No. No. Who cares?

Like, where's that come from? It's very odd. So, this one I thought was interesting. Who is going to be the best TV analyst once they retire? P.K. Suban won. Yandle was second. Then Ryan Reeves, Ron Hainsey, and Alex Steylock, which is a real rando pick. Yeah, I was shocked by that, too.

I've said this on ESPN and I say it here. I don't think P.K. is going to be a great TV analyst. I feel like he is no longer as candid as he used to be now that he's become so calculated and making his own little TV reality shows and such and working with the Hollywood marketing people. I don't feel like he's nearly as interesting as he used to be. I agree with that 100%. Yeah. I mean, he's...

But I still think he's... But once he gets out of the league, does he get that power back? Like, does he just not give a shit anymore? And he's willing to say what he should be saying when he's analyzing the game? That's the question. I think he's going to be, like, smarter Jeremy Ronek. Like, I don't think he's going to be, like, X's and O is breaking everything down guy. But he'll be that guy who you can just put him on during the intermission and let him through force of personality be entertaining.

You can send him to go do a segment somewhere. dress up like a leprechaun or whatever else. That's the thing. And he'll be able to do that. And yet in a way that'll probably be funnier and smarter than Roanick is able to pull off. So I think he's going to be really good. I agree with that take. Like I think that he could go do that Roanick thing better than Roanick because I think that he

naturally knows how to interact with other human beings better than Roanick does. And I think could probably mine the humor out of a situation. Like put PK in the way. the Lepircon outfit at the Winter Classic, it's going to be exponentially funnier than than whatever Ronex did. And plus, it leaves open my dream scenario because I don't know if you guys have seen this down in the States, but up here in Canada, we've seen P.K. Subman does a dynamite Don Cherry impression, like an amazing one.

Oh, that's a great Don Cherry. And that's my dream is that when it is time for Don Cherry to go, that they just replace him with P.K. Suban doing a Don Cherry impression and don't change anything else or announce it. And they just leave like all of these 70 and 80-year-old. Canadians watching TV going, is that, wait, what, is Don different? Is there something, I can't quite put my finger on it and just being confused and frightened? And because the suits are, the suits are only slightly, like, quieter. They're just, they're still outrageous suits. They're just slightly quieter. Yeah. It'd be amazing when all,

of a sudden, Don Cherry just keeps on taking runs at the Canadians, like over and over again every week. And people are like, there's something up with this guy. What happened to him? Who would make the best GM once they retire? You know, I can see myself behind the desk making personnel choices. And, you know, Chris Koonitz is probably my assistant GM at this point. Chris Koonitz is probably his first line winger. Sidney Crosby, best NHL GM with the retire. Sure.

I mean, is that just like Sid's smart and an archiever? Yeah, and let's just point. out, though, Sidney Crosby won this with 5.5% of the vote. There's... Right. So there was just 800 guys got named. Yeah. Nobody knows. Basically, nobody thinks. Jason Spets would be in second was kind of interesting to me, because I never really thought of him as, is that kind of guy. But, uh, apparently... 77% said other. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a pretty fucking big chunks to say other. So basically, you got 300 votes. So basically 15 people voted for Spets. 16 said Crosby and the other 270.

said somebody else who, you know, probably was just like the guy sitting next, the last person they had a halfway intelligent conversation with. This guy's from Cole Harbor. So we're going to take him first. Sid, he's trekking to be a fourth round pick. I know, I know him. Went to the same gym with him for a while. Good guy.

Let's get him first rounder. Fucking Sid. Do it. But best current female hockey player was Hillary Knight over Marie-Philippe Poulin, which I wouldn't agree. I think Marie-Filiq Poulan is a better player. I also think that maybe a goalie should have won. This is an interesting one. Would you be in favor of a regular season game featuring nicknames on jerseys, etc?

And 66.8% of players said yes. Now, this makes me wonder whether it'll be a couple things. make, make, make, I'm wondering about here. First of all, will it just be everybody's name with a Y at the end about true hockey nicknames? Yep. And then also, will it be the nicknames that they use in the locker room or the nicknames that are for public consumption?

Yeah. So this is, this is, they're stealing the baseball idea. And it's, it's a cool idea. And you're like, yeah, that would be fun. And then you, like, scroll further to their list of what they consider the best nicknames in the league. And you kind of go, maybe not. Because if tuna is the very best nickname in the entire league, maybe we don't need to be marketing our ability to come up with nicknames.

Yeah, that's a good point. Tuna won for, I think, best nickname. Tuna Tartar, right, was the nickname. And then what were the, I'm looking for the nickname list here. Bashat, Best Golly. Breadman was a few other ones. It was breadman. What was number two? So Artembe, Breadman, Panarin, Marco Sacks, Dano, Christian Stinky Fisher, which, all right. And Connor McJesus-David, which I guarantee there's nobody, nobody is calling Connor

McDavid McJesus to his face. Like, nobody's like, hey, McJesus. Like, that's not, that's, but I actually, I don't mind that one because that, my, my, my take on the nickname thing is we always say, well, how come there's no good nicknames. And it's because the media and the fans stopped giving nicknames. We started listening to the players tell us what their nicknames were. And they gave each other nicknames like Tuna and Stinky. And, you know, at least McJesus is one of those, like, somebody outside of his direct line of sight tried to come up with something.

Because that's where all the good nicknames. Like, nobody was like, you know, nobody was in back in the 50s was walking around calling people, you know, by cool nicknames in the dressing room. They were just calling each other gourd, you know, like there's no... So do you think, do you think tuna tartar might have been an influence by the office with Ed Helms referring to John Krasinski as Tune all the time? When I think of blank tartar, I think of steak, right? That's a bit of a match game question there, you know? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, right.

Yeah, so it's definitely steak tartar. I agree. I'm guessing that's probably office influenced. Where does Marco Snacks Dano come from? I don't know. That's one I don't get. Like, the only other Dano I can think of is Paul Dano of there will be blood fame. Marco Paul Dano.

That's right. Just name him Eli Sunday. He's a, no. Maybe he got that name because he abandoned his child, everybody would be saying. You're playing. Point's taken, though, Sean, that we've dropped the ball on nicknames, and I do wonder if there are enough to actually, you know, fulfill. Like, Bobby Hull wasn't walking into a dressing room in the 60s, and people are like, hey, Golden Jet. Like, that wasn't, and then some media person overheard that and was like, oh, is that your nickname?

Like, that was somebody, you know, sitting up in a press box or wherever that came up with that and everybody just agreed to use it. you know, instead now we just go up to people like, what's your nickname? And they're like Smithy. And we're like, all right, this is Smithy. And it's like, right. Like if that happened in, in the 70s like Wayne Gretzky, we'd all just call them Gretz. That's it. Yeah. There'd be no great one. Yeah. That wasn't, you know, nobody was like calling somebody the little ball of hate just, you know, as, as they were playing cards. A cursory, a cursory search for snacks for Mark O'Dano does not turn up anything. And the more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if it's a drug reference, to be quite candid with you. I see, I just, I type Dano snacks into Google as we're doing.

And apparently there is a snack company called Dano. That could be in that. What? And I've never heard of, but that's, that's what comes up first. So I don't know. Just don't say, don't say journalism is dead. What's your favorite sport to follow outside of hockey? To the surprise of no one, 30% said golf. and then football and then soccer and then baseball and then basketball so that makes sense that that tracks yeah although i thought soccer might have been number one there's a lot of soccer fans that are that are also hockey players not only the european guys but also a lot of the canadian guys but also a lot of the canadian driven though and they make up what like 30% of the league i can i can see that being yeah and zero and like zero percent of the competition committee as well and they love the Davis Cup over. And is that, that's the golf one,

right? Davis Cup? Yeah. Oh, speaking to that, what did you guys think of Brian Burke saying that he, that the World Cup of hockey will one day surpass the Olympics as the premier international hockey tournament?

Because, because, uh, and soccer, it's the World Cup. And rugby, it's the World Cup. So in, and hockey, it'll be the World Cup. Did you think there's any validity to that?

I thought it was about as good as his Austin Matthews take from last week. No. So, I mean, it's, he's on a roll is what you're trying to say. Yeah, he's killing it, man. It's, it's never going to pass it if, if the players are consistently going to the Olympics. If the players are not going to the Olympics, then we, we, we, it will because we've already seen that. Like, there was a time when the Canada Cup was the number one tournament, because nobody

cared about watching Russian pros destroy a bunch of U.S. or Canadian, like, high school kids. But, uh, my favorite Russian pros is Tolst. story, but the thing is going to be interesting to me is... What happens if... There's a shock. What happens if the NHL keeps doing this like, some years we go, some years we don't go thing? That'll be interesting to me.

If the World Cup is something that happens every four years and it's consistent and predictable and the Olympics, every time we have to wait until a year and a half before to see whether Gary Bettman is going to let people go, I could see that wearing on some fans. Like, that's the only scenario where a World Cup is going to potentially be more popular than a Olympics featuring the players, if we're all just kind of worn out from...

Well, I think he was talking about for the players, though. And that is... That for me is only if they just stop letting players go to the Olympics. Right. Because in... Even if... Even if they don't... They don't, like, go every other year. it's still you're like, well, I can go to the Olympics like once, maybe twice in my career.

And that'll be a huge, that might even make it a bigger deal to be able to go once in your career. But yeah, like if there's any Olympic participation at all, I feel like it's always going to be the Olympics. And if they, you know, take that away from them, they'll go, oh, World Cup's good as well. and by the time you know by three Olympic cycles when everybody who's ever played in an Olympics is as a pro is not there anymore then that's a different story I also thought it was interesting that like you know the the the World Cup and soccer has been going on since 1930 right and and so the obviously the World Cup of hockey doesn't have that kind of history to it but it's also a situation where you know soccer in the Olympics is I don't to my knowledge

never really been a real big deal. Because it's a U-23 tournament. That's a lot. That's the thing. It's not the best of the best, right? Right. But let's take the specifications of it out. Like, hockey in the Olympics has always been a big deal.

It's been a centerpiece sport in the winter games for decades. So I just think the prestige of the sport, in particular as an Olympic sport, is different. And I'm with you. Like, you know, it's going to take generations before we find one that doesn't give a shit about winning an Olympic gold for your country in hockey. Like, especially for God's sake, if you're an American, like, it's, if you're Canadian, it's a birthright. If you're American, you're living up to the standard of one of the greatest fables in all of sports history. So it's like, I just, I can't foresee a situation where people are going to be looking at that giant fucking paperweight and being like, yeah, that's more important to be than a gold medal.

Agreed. We've got to get rid of the stupid trophy at the very least. It sucks. The trophy is so horrible. It's terrible. How do you fuck that up? How do you think it's some like fancy trophy maker guy to make it? Yep.

Isn't that a thing? Yeah, and it was like unveiled and then like immediately. Yeah, and everybody was like, oh, this, what's the word? It sucks. It wasn't like Frank Geary, was it? It wasn't like an architect or somebody who made it right? I feel like it was. Yeah.

I feel like it was too. Yeah. It's horrible. It's bad. You could go to your fucking local trophy shop where they make stuff for like pee-wee hockey and get it some. Like, you know, like, you know. Here's a simple thing.

Put a fucking hockey player on top of the trophy. How hard is that, right? That's just the simplest thing. All right, Lambert, you're telling me and Sean about something involving the vote for best NHL mascot. Gritty, be Carlton the Bear. Upie, Nash, and Victor E. Green, who somehow made the top five. No Bailey or S.J. Sharkey, which I thought was a bit of an upset.

But what's the deal with the Gritty vote here? So Gritty, because, like, irony is day. had Gritty one with 69% of the vote. And somebody, and they actually specified that it was actually 69.4% of the vote. And somebody did the math, and I haven't checked the math. So if this is like just a made up thing, don't hold it against me. But somebody checked the math and said, Gritty actually got 69.420% of the vote. So he got 69.420.

And if, if there's anything that, you know, the internet needed to happen, it was like, that. It was that clearly. I think the reason Bailey didn't make it is because like Bailey's doing like the slow burn heel turn where he's like become jealous and obsessed with Gritty and he's like trying to lead the other mascots in this kind of mean girl revolution against him. So I think that clearly is being reflected in the, the player votes here. He's going to waffle him at the NHL Awards and spray paint a yellow stripe down his back.

He's going to cut his name. I think it's less heel turn that he's turning into Frank Grimes from The Simpsons where he's, it's, it's him waving his arms exasperated that Gritty gets to do all of these things that he doesn't get to do and that no one points out that Gritty is just doing the things that other mascots have done for decades. Right. And he's like, he's like the last sane mascot on the planet watching this idiot run around and do shit and can't understand why more people aren't rallied to his cause. Very, very grimy, if you ask me. Grimy. That could be a good, that would be a good mascot name. A grimy?

Grimy. Grimy sounds to me like the little sidekick mascot for Gritty. Like in minor league hockey, there's places that do two mascots. Yes. So Grimmy would be his sort of mini-me or his, or Grimmy's the one. I remember the Nets for a while had Duncan, who was a big dragon that used to walk around and shoot, you know, those party favors that go, and shoot the little thing out. He used to have those in his nose, I think, or his mouth or some shit.

And then there was Super Dunk, who was the version of Duncan that would go and jump on the trampoline and do like the Phoenix Sun's gorilla shit. Yeah. So maybe Grimy is the gritty stunt boy that will go and do the stunts that that Gritty won't do. Now we're talking. Question is, what does Grimy look like is my question? A worse gritty. Yeah. Could Grimy be Scott Hartnell?

Yeah, just make it, just make it like a Scott Hartnell mask and that's it. No, I mean the actual Scott Hartnell. Could Scott Hartnell be Grimy? I don't know. Does he, can he get up like that? Like the gorilla? Like the gorilla? Yeah, I need him doing like dunks.

A down on his luck, Scott Hartnell post-retirement decides to take on the persona of a junior mascot. That would be so cool. Grimy. That's at least an NHL award skit. Oh, God. Don't, come on. Can we not talk about Gritty in the NHL Awards? Because I really, I'm really afraid.

It's going to be bad. It's going to be really bad. It really's going to knock. It's going to be good. Again, I've laid out the scenario and do it again. The only situation in which they won't screw up Gritty at the NHL Awards is if he comes out to give away the heart trophy and the mask is pulled off. It's Gary Beckman. Yes.

That's the only thing that they can do. do. And listen, I put it out there. People have heard it. You could still do it. The joke's not spoiled. No one believes that you'll actually be that hip to do it. And also, nobody really listens to this podcast, like broadly speaking in the hockey audience. So it's all new to them. I think our listenership is really strong inside the NHL front office. It's like, I don't doubt for a second that Colin Campbell has someone, yeah, he's on the Patreon for sure, put the podcast on for him. And, and put it through his transistor radio so you can hear, you know, when we talk shit about, oh, a girl in the skills competition?

That's horrible. You're ruining the All-Star game is what you're doing. He's not wrong about them. I'm just kidding. Oh, gosh. Jeez. Talk about your heel turns. That's right.

All right. If you want to go and watch Frank Grimes and the Simpsons, if you want to watch the NHL Awards whenever they're on TV, you're probably going to need one, two things. A television and a remote control to control said television. But here's the problem, boys. In this day and age, you probably got a billion remote floating around. Your TV, your audio system, your Apple TV, all this other stuff.

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Hell yes. The announcement made by Keanu Reeves himself. Ron Wick himself, Neo himself. And Alex Winter. Let's not... And Alex Winter. I'm glad he was available. That must have been a tough negotiation getting the other guy to...

He's done a lot of stuff like behind the scenes, I feel like. If I'm remembering my Alex Winter trivia, right, I feel like he's been a director and a writer for a long time. Kianu, at this point, has some gray in his beard, but otherwise is just like hair. and two dark eye dots and then like a trench coat is kind of how he looks. Alex Winter being in the Bill and Ted movie in 2020 made me feel a little uncomfortable. He looked a little too old for this shit to kind of put it in Riggs and Murtog language. But I'm happy to get the movie. It should be all right.

Yeah. Oh, he directed the documentary from last year about the Panama Papers. Oh, well, there you. go. He's gone serious, then. What do you want to build into 3, Ryan? Well, so my thing is, I haven't seen either of them in a very long time,

but I seem to recall that bogus journey ended with, like, God giving them the power to, like, save rock and roll or something. Like, God literally imbueing them with, like, supernatural powers. So I don't know how you build on that.

Well, that, of course, was the inspiration for the classic kiss tune God gave rock and roll to you from Bill and Ted's bogus journey. It was based on the very plot that you're speaking about in bogus journey.

Sean, do you have love for the Bill and Ted films in your heart? I do. I don't think I ever saw the second one. I think I saw the first one many, many years. It's really good. Yeah. It's pretty great. I mean, this will be fun. Doing like sequels to old movies and that

and, you know, because there's no, you can't sell new ideas and everything is sort of overdone. But there is a point where it's just kind of silly and goofy enough that if people are on board and they're going to steer into it, I think it'll be good. I think it'll be, I mean, well, maybe not good, but I think it'll be what people want it to be. Let me put it this way. I now trust Keanu implicitly. They say he's in a movie. I go, I'll see you there. Because, no.

He had that one about cloning his dead family that came out, that I've, that's a lot. I don't think I trusted implicitly to go see it. What was this? Last year? This was just, this was like this year. I don't remember that. Oh, well, I didn't see it or even hear about it. But like, just from what I understand, he through the sheer, like, will of being Keanu Reeves, like, got the John Wick movie, the first one made. And if that's going to be what he does, like, if his passion projects are all going to be that good, sold.

That would be replicas, Keanu Reeves, Alice Eve was the life that he resurrected. Thomas Middletich was in it, once in future Puck Soup guest, and a real strong 19% on Metacritic for replicas. I'm excited. I'm interested to see if William Sadler will return to play the Groom Reaper. He obviously was the best part of bogus journey. And I have to tell you, and I don't think we've ever talked about it on this show, because why the fuck we have ever talked about Bill and Ted on the show. The concept of wild stallions, aka a rock band that makes music so beautiful that it brings the world together through song is something that I've always really been enamored with. And full of disclosure, there was a point.

in the last maybe dozen years when I kind of believed that Blink 182 could be wild stallions. Oh boy. A bunch of kids from California who come together and make music that brings the world together. And so I've been kind of waiting for them all to get back together to fulfill that destiny. But that was the band that I thought could be the real wild stallions because I've always loved the concept of that. that band They broke up

But that band could have been Diarrhea Planet I firmly believe that to this day So Diarya Planet was your wild stallions I thought the music they made Was so fun and so good And you know I think they never got over

The name being a big impediment To their credibility Yeah I mean Blink 1282 made an album called Enema of the States And one called Take Off Your Pants and Jacket I mean like Jacket yes So they had their own obstacles in place as well.

I mean, I know people be like, oh, the Beatles are wild stallions. I mean, no, they're not wild stallions. They didn't save. They happened and then Vietnam still happened. I'm talking about a band that like, much like when the aliens come to Earth and they come here and the whole world joins together. You wanted to be like the Osamandious moment at the end of, at the end of watching. I don't want it to be, I don't see Blink 1282 as a, you know, a squid monster that the world bands around to defeat in a nefarious scheme hatched by a super criminal. No, I don't see that.

I'm seeing that it's that beautiful moment when the alien, the aliens come down and as a world, we all come together and put our petty differences aside and realize that we are but a speck in this universe. not the other thing, which is that the aliens come down and we decide en masse to fucking kill the aliens, and this is our real enemy. Like, I want the other scenario, which is much more of a wild stallion's scenario than what you're talking about. Sure. Okay. The Tampa Bay Lightning won the president's trophy since the last time that we did this podcast. And then last night, they beat the capitals in overtime in,

in the latest Give me seven games of this shit moment here in the NHL because it was a really great game. It was awesome. But I guess there's a chance that they might not win the cup, which is sort of stunning to think about.

Very good chance they're not going to win the cup. It makes me sad, though. Like I've written about this before. I want a juggernaut. I want them to roll through the playoffs, like five games series. throughout the whole way. I think it would be so good if they went 16 and 0. I think I said that last week. I think it would kick ass if they did that. But yeah, I mean, it's hockey. It's not going to happen.

So I, but do you think that, go ahead. I wrote about this earlier this week. And I said two things that I thought were not especially controversial. I said, number one, the Tampa Bay Lightning are the best team in the NHL no matter what happens in the playoffs. And number two, they probably aren't going to win the Stanley Cup. Because that's just how the NHL works these days. It's, it's a, it's a, League with lots of parity, you have to win four rounds. It's, you would have to be an overwhelming favorite in each one of those rounds to be an overall favorite to win four of them in a row. And even the Lightning, even a team that may be the best team of the cap era are not a favorite. I mean, they're probably about a 20 or 25 or 30% chance to win the Cup. And my argument was, let's remember that if and when that day comes, that they run into a hot goalie or whatever else,

and they don't, they get eliminated from the playoffs, they were still the best team this year. You know, there's, and yet I was surprised how many people I had pushing back on, on either end of that argument, either telling me that no, the lightning are overwhelming favorites to win the cup this year.

I mean, they're definitely not, but sure. They're not. I mean, they are the favorite in the sense that they have the better off of the team. Right, but it's them versus 15.

If it's them versus the field, right. Yeah. Exactly. Or two, telling me that if they don't win the cup, they will not be the best team. Because by definition, the team that wins the Stanley Cup is always the best team of that season. And the playoffs are different and you have to find a way and all of this stuff. So I just wanted to get that out there. I don't care if the lightning gets swept in the first round by the hurricanes or whoever else.

That would actually be insanely funny. It would be. They're still the best team. Like, that's it. Like, who was the best team in 2018-19 season is Tampa? Like, they could lose every game from here on in, and they're still number one. But I am kind of with you guys. I hope, you know, as a Leafs fan, obviously, I don't want the Lightning to win because that means the Leafs don't win.

But I think if you're just as a fan, like the Lightning are what you want your team to be when they grow up right now. This is the kind of season that even, you know, if you're a Leafs fan and you're looking at this young roster that's being put together, the Lightning is what you want this roster to turn into. If you're if your team, if your team is bad and they're rebuilding and, you know, it's the Sabres, the senators or the oilers or whatever, the lightning is what you want to get to. And to see a team be this good and then not win, I think in some sense would be kind of depressing. Like, I mean, I know we love upsets and it's that time of year and, you know, it'll be a fun story if and when somebody does knock them off. But there is, you know, it's, I don't think it would be fun in this day and age to have a dynasty team, like the Canadians or the Oilers or the

Islanders that win four years in a row. But having the best team win, you know, if the best team never wins, then there aren't any upsets. Upsets don't matter if they happen every single year. And if a team is this much better, there's a part of me that would like to see them win, if only because if it's my team that's the 130 point team in a few years, I don't want to be going into the playoffs going, yeah, but that probably doesn't matter because who cares, you're just going to run into some goalie who's going to steal a series from you. Yeah. You just discussed the entire lifespan of a capital's fan, by the way. Yes.

The idea of, I mean, the idea, you know, you're the best team every year. And then at some point, you're just like, oh, who gives us shit? Because we're just going to lose anyway. And then the thing that you described at the start is kind of the Dan Steinberg argument, which was that you should appreciate the achievement of your team no matter what happens in the postseason. I don't necessarily always agree with that aspect of it. But in the Lightning's case, like, they've got like nine games left, I think. I think they have to go maybe eight and one to break the record.

Like, if they somehow break the record, like, there's no taking that away from them. Oh, I mean, they can break two record. They can break the wins record that the Red Wing's own. They can break the points record of the 77 Canadians. In both cases, obviously, the fact that we have the shootout now does, does have, you know, have an impact on that because there's more points available. But it's also the salary cap era. Like, you're not supposed to be able to do this.

And my argument was not that, hey, if the lightning go out in the second round against the Bruins, that lightning fans should be happy. My argument is not that the Stanley Cup is less important than the President's trophy. It's obviously not. My argument is just don't come back to me in the offseason and go, well, you know, clearly the Lightning weren't the best team because they, you know, Tuka Rask got hot and made 50 saves in game seven. Yes, they are the best team. Sometimes in the NHL, in fact, most times the NHL, the best team doesn't win the Stanley Cup. That's just reality and we got to get our heads around it. Would you feel better if they got knocked off by the hurricanes or like a wildcard team versus losing in the conference final?

I almost feel like the shock and awe of losing to a Cinderella team would be more palpable and understanding than having them be built up to be this tight and then get knocked off by like the second best team. I disagree. I mean, seeing them go out to a wild card team would be that kind of shocking. upset and those are fun, but that would also, to me, just reinforce how meaningless the regular season is and how ridiculous it is that we spend six months pretending to care about all of these results when really it just feels like you either make the playoffs or you don't. Nothing else matters. I want to see them, if they're going to go out, I want to see them go out on their shield in a great seven-game series against the Capitals or the Bruins or the Leafs or in the Stanley Cup final,

you know, let them go up against a team where at the end of it, we're left saying, you know what, that team really rose to the occasion and gave them seven good games and, you know, the best team for the last two weeks won the series. They weren't the best team overall, but they deserved it. And not just because, you know, some fluke happened or some goalie got hot or whatever it is. Because, you know, I do want to feel like all of this stuff that goes on and, you know, all the trades and all the signings and everything that goes into building a 130 point team that, that that actually matters. And it's going to be hard to feel that way if they just get bounced out in the first round and buy a wild card.

All right. I mean, they could get bounced out in theory by the Leafs. That is, if the Leafs don't implode by then. Right. Yeah. So what stock do we put into this Mike Babcock versus Kyle Dubas feud in which Mike Babcock's like, you know, we'd be winning a lot more games if we had better depth

and, you know, need the depth to win. Just the coach, don't, not responsible for the depth. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I wrote about it this week where it's like he keeps making insanely bad personnel decisions and then going, I don't know why we keep giving up 35 shots a night. Like, it's, it. It, you know, it's beyond the Ron Hainesie thing.

It's beyond, you know, it's beyond Willie Nealander playing a bunch of time with Connor Brown and Nazim Codry. It, just some of the, some of the personnel decisions he makes because he's Mike Babcock and he thinks he's a genius and, you know, he kind of has a more old school mentality. Like, that's what's holding the Leafs back. And, you know, I don't think that. Um, they're necessarily like, it's because the last five games they haven't, they've given up 26 goals or whatever the number is now. I don't think that's, I think, you know, I found it, I found a stretch from last season where Tampa gave up like 31 and six games. So, or something like that. Like, it happens. You give up a shitload of goals sometimes. But, you know, it's kind of a season long trend where they're getting by on really thin margins because they're. super talented. Like, they don't out shoot the other team a lot. They, they give up too many high

quality looks, that kind of thing. But it doesn't matter because they're so good up front. And you can reduce, like, if you're Mike Babcock and you're really trying to reduce the number of high quality looks you're giving up and giving your chance a team to win 5'3 instead of 5'4, you know, on average or whatever the number is, you can do that, but he hasn't done it. And I think in part because he hasn't needed to. And the other weird thing is, you know, his whole, his whole thing about how, you know, good teams have enough depth that when guys get hurt, they don't, they don't miss them. I mean, first of all, A, that's not really true, I don't think.

I mean, we're in a salary cap league. What team can lose two of their top four defensemen and just not miss a beat? The Pittsburgh Penguins, I guess is the answer to that, right? Yeah. Yeah. A couple of years ago. But the other piece of it, and other people have pointed this out, is, you know, you know, the reason the Leafs don't have more depth and couldn't add more depth at the deadline is because of their cap situation.

At least part of the reason they're in this cap situation is because they have guys like Patrick Marlowe, which are, which was a Lou Lamarillo signing, but one that has lots of Mike Babcock fingerprints on it, uh, up to and including the fact that Marlowe continues to be one of their most used forwards, even though he's, he's very clearly at this stage in his career, not one of their best players. So, uh, you know, to answer Greg's question, how much stock do you? put in this. I kind of went from putting almost zero stock in it a few days ago because it just felt like a very Toronto thing. Like this is, this is, you know, there's 10 games left in the season. The team's not playing well, but we already know where they're going to finish in the standings.

We know who they're going to play in the playoffs. We need something to talk about for two weeks. So let's over parse some harmless comments that somebody makes and turn it into a story. But then yesterday, Elliot Friedman led his 31 thoughts column with this. And Elliot is not a guy who typically leads. He's not throwing gasoline on fire. He's not a guy who, you know, he doesn't chase stories that have nothing to them very often. And he certainly doesn't write several hundred words in his lead. And so, you know, I wonder if maybe there's.

is a little bit more to this and that some of the people who are particularly plugged in have a sense that there's more to this. So I've kind of gone from putting no stock in it to putting not much stock, but cautiously watching. Because it's an interesting situation, because if there is, if there is any sort of, you know, division between Kyle Dubas and Mike Babcock, I mean, that's, that's not unusual. That happens sometimes in the NHL. The GMs and coaches don't have to be best pals. But Babcock's got four years left on the richest contract any coach ever signed. So he's pretty secure.

But at the same time, Kyle Dubest just got that job because Brendan Shanahan handpicked him, knowing it was going to cost him Mark Hunter, knowing it was probably going to cost him Lou Lamarillo, who is Shanahan's mentor. You know, it's not like if I'm Mike Babcock, I don't necessarily want to go to war with this kid and, you know, assume that I'm going to be the one left standing because both of these guys are in pretty secure spots. So it's, it's kind of a situation where they've either got to work it out or at the very least stop saying things publicly and get into the off season. And then, you know, you can kind of figure it out to where you go from there. First of all, counting down the days until

someone writes the, Mark Hunter would have a better relationship with Mike Bamcock story. I can't believe it hasn't happened yet. And the other thing, too, is that I wonder, though, man, And like if they don't succeed in the playoffs and you have a guy that's, you know, on that contract with the accomplishments that he does have. And while I think that he's a horribly overrated coach, there's no question he's got more of a pedigree of success than Dan does Kyle Dubus. I wonder if you have a guy being like, we don't have the troops. And then, you know, the other guy, you know, being a novice GM, I wonder where the sentiment is. I wonder who wins that argument. I agree.

Like, you know, Kyle Dubas is the endorsement of Brendan Chanahan. Like, he's the handpicked guy. But when you have a coach with a Stanley Cup ring being like, I need the guys to win and we don't have them, that's a hard argument for Carl Dubus to win. Where do we get them, Mike?

Like, we have no cap room. We have no cap room, partly because you want it, Patrick Marlow, Mike Babcock doesn't like Garrett Sparks. He's made that very clear. His constant passive-aggressive nitpicking at Garrett Sparks, a young goaltender in his first full year in the NHL all year long. I know he wanted Curtis McElhany or whoever else. But the fact of the matter is Garrett Sparks is an okay goalie on pretty close to a league minimum contract. That's what the Leafs need. They don't have room for a $2 million backup goalie right now. And that's not Mike Babcock's fault.

But part of it is because, you know, he's got the guys he's asked for. So, you know, if I'm Kyle Dubes behind closed doors, I'm sitting there going, Mike, here's our roster. Here's the cat. Show me where the room is to go out and get you these, you know, these more Ron Hainsey types that you feel comfortable using as a security blanket. Instead of these younger guys that we have sitting here in the press box year in or night in and night out because you never use them. And then we get to the end of the year when we need a young defenseman. to step in and the guys that we have haven't been playing all year because you want Ron Hainsey to do 22 minutes a night.

I love it. It's going to get ugly for Mike Babcock in Toronto. If they lose in the first round again this year, it's the honeymoon will be over. The seat will start to get hot. I know he's got like $24 million left on his deal. But remember, the Maple Leafs ate $25 million to get rid of David Clarkson just so that they would have the option to put Nathan Horton on the LTIR and they didn't use it. So, you know, this idea that because Mike Babcock makes a lot of money and has years on his

contract that he's somehow completely safe, you know, one or two years down the line, I don't buy that. Speaking of hot seats, you can get the hottest seats in the world. That's nice, good. Really good. Damn, dude. A plus this week. Getting tickets online can be far too complicated with hundreds of sites and varying levels of reliability.

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They do. They do. I know. Kind of. I know. I know. I know. They don't.

I mean, they don't. Well, and so does Vancouver. Arizona, Minnesota, Colorado, Chicago, Vancouver. Who, who, pick one team that gets in behind Dallas. Who do you want? Who do I want or who do I think it's going to? be because those are two different answers. Who do you think it's going to be and who do you want? I think it's probably going to be Arizona.

They just, you know, they have the extra points and that's, they're up a win right now and that matters a lot with nine games left. The only team I think is really, the team I would want to make it is Colorado because I think they're the only actual other good team. I think they might be the only other team with a positive goal difference in the whole bunch. Yeah. I like Arizona for both answers. I would like to see them in the playoffs, and I think they are clearly still in the best position. But look at Chicago, man. They got Philadelphia tonight, and then they go Colorado, Colorado, Arizona. I mean, you win those games, man. That's the whole race, dude. that's it right there I mean you those are the teams you're chasing so it's not like I mean it's it's it's hard to make up four points in fact they you know they probably wouldn't have the tiebreaker so they five points because the problem is you know you can make up five points on one team they have to go cold and you get hot but that can happen but when you're trying to leapfrog

four teams or three teams it's almost impossible because they're not all going to go cold on you at the same time unless you're playing them you know and yeah obviously you have to run the table and go eight, two, or nine and one. But if all those wins are coming in regulation against teams you're chasing, it's not completely out of the realm of possibility, especially if Corey Crawford just goes nuts over the last few weeks. Like I wrote about this this week and I said, you never want to be relying on a hot goalie in the long term,

but with two weeks left in the season, give me the hot goalie. Just, and we'll figure the rest of it out. I wanted to be Arizona. It's going to be Chicago. NBC is going to fix the games so Chicago plays Calgary in the first round and they could put those games on actual television

and not on like NBCSN which is where the Calgary games how are they going to fix it so Chicago makes the playoffs and wins the draft lottery? That's going to be the challenge. I said NBCSN throwing shade at where the games will probably be I meant CNBC of course.

Or the golf channel. I was going to say. Yeah. No, Chicago, first of all, Chicago is not going to win the lottery. L.A. is going to win the lottery. That's a more important market for them to get going again is L.A. But yeah, I feel like it's going to be Chicago. I feel like Arizona is doing the thing, but maybe hasn't been there before. And I feel like what's the worst case scenario would be Minnesota because nobody gives a shit about them. That's

absolutely correct. But the second worst case scenario would be Chicago because we're just like, who cares? but, you know, it's going to happen. It's just like, there's no denying it. They have a game in hand, too. So. Blackhawks, baby, feel the fever. Yeah. Yay.

But the thing is, if they make the playoffs, though, then Keynes win in the heart. That's the other thing, too, about the situation. Yeah. That sucks. You hate to see it. The darkest timeline. Yeah. Indeed.

The Carolina Hurricanes played duck hunt this week when, They won over the Pittsburgh Penguins with Justin Falk and Michael Furlin sitting between the benches where Pierre McGuire would stand and pretending their sticks were shotguns and shooting ducks on a Jumbotron, which was, again, now we've reached. They were using the gloves. Oh, yeah. Right, but the other players were using the gloves. Right. The gloves were the ducks, but it was also on the Jumbotron as they were doing it. we've now reached the point where the Carolina Hurricanes are doing multimedia presentations for their celebrations after games, which is pretty impressive.

Yeah, they're doing like the SNL digital shorts of the story. Yeah. All right. So you're offended that they're not done live now, that there is a certain recorded aspect to it? I'm not offended. It's just like, man, they ran out of ideas fast. They didn't think they were winning this many fucking games. That's going to be the next Don Cherry rant. You know, they were doing it improv for a real long time.

Now it's pre-recorded. So, so pissed off. I talked to Justin Falk actually for a Q&A this week on ESPN and found out that it's not so much that he was a huge NES fan. He was actually a... a guy who was bummed he didn't get to go hunting with his friends back in Minnesota during hockey season. And his suggestion was, is there a way I can hunt ducks? And then somebody had there, hurricanes is like, how about we put duck hunt on the Jumbo Tron?

He's like, all right. It was one of the old players, who said it. Because that's the thing. You know how you know Justin Falk didn't play, didn't play any as he's under 30. That's, yeah, he was probably maybe late superintendents. early in 64 would have been his wheelhouse. Yeah, I asked him. He was an N64 guy, he said.

Yeah, Ocarat of time. Coming soon to a storm surge near you. Did you ever use the, did you ever use the gun, the light gun? Yeah, sure. The NES. I never had it, I don't think. I used it at like my friend's place. Yeah.

My platform came with the classic Super Mario Brothers slash duck hunt cartridge. and that also came with But we had a couple other games Hogan's Heroes or no, Hogan's Alley It's called Hogan's Alley You said Hogan's Heroes though I know what I said. You don't think this is a very easy

This is a very easy one to complain a game I haven't thought about for 25 years It's an 8-bit game where you sneak around A Nazi Concentration Camp and then try to avoid Sarton Schultz That's the Hogan's Heroes game Yeah, no, it was like one of those

it was certainly a thing in old movies or whatever where like a cop would be training and like a bad guy would jump out. But then also a mom pushing a stroller would jump out. It was a game like that. There was a paintball, a side-scrolling like paintball capture the flag game called Gotcha that you use the gun for. So yeah, we got pretty good mileage out of it. Did you ever have the robot? My rich friend had the robot. We didn't have the robot.

We had the one that made it like an arcade thing with a joystick. Oh, the NES Advantage. The NES Advantage. That's what it was called. Yeah, we had that. That was good. That kicked ass. That was key for, like, I mean, granted, like for Contra, you didn't really need anything because you get 30 lives.

But the NES advantage had the rapid fire button, which was always good for games like that. Yeah, and for track and field, boy, if you ever wanted to dominate a game of track and field, you just throw on the NES advantage. And you're finishing that 100 meter dash in about six seconds. Sean, light gun or no light gun for you? You know what? I never even had an NES. I was a Genesis guy. But I did. I used it at a friend's house and I remember it like not working well. And that's just kind of being like this, this sucks. Let's play something else.

So are you living the dream now that there's going to be a Sonic the Hedgehog movie? No, because I never, even back then, I never like play. the game games. I was just always doing, I was playing all the sports games. That was pretty much, that was pretty much it was like, like NHL and Tacmo and NBA Jam,

and I was good. Sonic 3 is the only good Sonic game. I'm going to put it out there. Well, of the... Was that the one with Knuckles? Yeah. Okay. I never really played Sonic either

because I was a Mario guy, and it was like, it was a real blur and oasis thing for me. Like, I was a blur guy. Sure. I was a Mario guy. I couldn't like Oasis. I was a Mario guy. I couldn't like.

Sonic. You draw your battle lines in the sand, then you never cross them, obviously. That's right. Mario and Sonic, Israeli and Palestinians for the video game era. That's how I see it. The fun thing right now is my, you know, obviously my kids play a lot of video games, and I never have any idea what they're talking about when it comes to, like, Fortnite or whatever else, but they're really into Mario Kart right now.

And so they'll be talking about it, and I'll be like, oh, yeah, no, I know, like, Bowser, Yeah, like I know that, you know, yeah, I know what a mushroom does, and they're actually impressed. I finally have useful knowledge. And I don't have the heart to tell them it's from like 35 years ago. You mentioned Marriott, obviously that brings up the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals. We're not going to talk about the ins and outs of the White House controversy, but I do want to mention this news that broke during the tipping of this podcast. According to Isabel Kishritian of the Washington Post, the capitals announced there will be no official ceremony or immediately. availability while the team is in the White House.

The team will take part in a private tour and will meet the president in the Oval Office. So no propaganda, no standing there glad-handing. No laughing along with Trumpies jokes. Well, I would disagree that it's no propaganda. I mean, there's probably going to be like, but it's not, not nearly as bad as standing there for a press conference. Sure.

You know, I think we could agree on that. This is interesting to me. because, like, the one person that I keep coming back to is Braden Holtby. Like, he's the last person that I could think of on that team now that would want to sit there and just goof along with this guy as he's doing his shit in front of him. And I wonder how many of the capitals, like, I want to know the inside story of what factions of this team who clearly aren't Ovechkin and Kuznetsov or Orloff came together and said, I don't want to stand there for a, a, uh, fucking press conference with this guy. Because that's clearly what happened. Yeah, I think that's probably true.

Yeah, it's one of those things where it's like, you got, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Go into these stupid, like, it's an honor and all that shit, sure. But like, Devante Smith-Helley's on that team. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree. Shout out to Brett Connolly for just being like, I'm not fucking going.

Fuck that. Yeah, yeah. Word. That's what we need to say about that, I think. The question of the week this week, in honor of Achiro Suzuki retiring after 75-year career, I'm not sure how many years Ichiro played. Something like it was his first season, right? 98 or 99.

So it's been a long fucking time. Is Ken Griffey Jr. still the quintessential mariner? Oh, it's Ichero. It's It's It's Echero for sure. You think so? Yeah. Okay. Did he ever have a candy bar like Kangar Virginia did?

No, well, maybe in Japan. I don't know what goes on over there. If it was in Japan, it probably had puffed rice in it. That's usually what a Japanese can. Most of the Japanese candy I get is either puffed rice or also those little cookie pandas that have chocolate inside of them are also very tasty as well. I would imagine those are Chinese, but sure. Oh.

Well, you know, and that I think about it, you're probably right. The panda not synonymous with Japan Not as much as you might think Yeah Yeah The panda is definitely used in like Hello Kitty world That's Japanese right

It is Okay But the pandas that we get here Are given to aspire friends in China That's right Okay Just to clear it up So the question was with Achiro

Retiring What was the most heartbreaking Retirement that you had as a hockey fan Rob Cummings writes in Dan Girardi's ankles retiring seasons ago from all the burning Boner Iver writes in

Paul Korea is up there dude gave everything and never got a cup and obviously like the way he went out Yeah that's a bummer Luke writes in not his retirement per se because it wasn't but Madano's final game in Dallas

was a literal tearjerker for both him and the fans his importance to the team and helping grow hockey and Texas can't be understated. That's exactly right. But as we know, not a retirement at all had one of the worst codos of any player in the history of the NHL.

Jeff Wright says, Gretzky, I cheered so loud when he got an assist in his last game that my folks thought I had broke something. But his last game was as a ranger, so I kind of like have to knock that down. Also the most anticlimactic possible ending of having the game go to,

overtime and then end with him sitting on the bench with the other team scoring. Yeah, I forgot about that. That sucks. Yeah. Gretzky sitting on the bench like it's a shootout, right? Yeah, exactly. And the camera just cuts to him and he's just like, oh, okay, I guess I'll just stand up and leave then. All right. Jim Iserman writes in Iserman. Well, that seems kind of who was the goalie that Tomash Hurdle forced into retirement by scoring four goals on him, the Rangers goalie? That's that one's. pretty good.

Who was it? Damn. Oh, that's, it wasn't Valiquette, was it? No, I think it was later on. Yeah, it would have been later on, for sure. Oh, man, no, you're right. There was a goalie that he forced in retirement. Just never played again.

Eisenman, he was more than just a really good hockey player to me. He was an example of how you should conduct yourself. Talk is cheap. He led by example, playing hurt, not complaining about adversity, and owning every result good and bad. Eisenman also taught me that you can disparage your Russian teammate behind the scenes and people will still think that you're a great guy.

Neil W. Wrightson, went to see Tim Muslone's last regular season game when he grabbed Jiggy to start to skate a lap together, waving goodbye to the fans and that saw them raise a cup together. It gave me chills. A hockey memory, I will never forget.

Terry Thomas, Ray Bork! Didn't he retire the day? he won the cup. Him finally winning it was so awesome to watch. Captain Joe Sackick didn't even raise it after accepting just passed it right to Ray. If that didn't hit you in the fields, I don't know what else will. Still think you should have just sent Ray Bork up there, but sure. Exit 16W. That was the thing that year when they beat the Devils, yeah. CC says, got to go with the Sedeen twins just because it caused Lozo to stop covering hockey.

Ryan Cairns, Nick Lidstrom, knowing that the dynasty was over. That's the real kicking the ball's retirements, is that when you know the magic is done. Because these guys have left. Yeah, that's a really good choice. So there you go. Anybody on this very podcast have any retirements that really struck you in the fields, as they say? The worst for me, to me, it's kind of like, what's a, you know, what's a retired? Like, Wendell Clark is my favorite player, but when he retired, he was, he was done.

I was, it was, you know, it was better for him to retire than to go play fourth line minutes for the blue jackets or whatever. But the one that got me was Doug Gilmore because of the way it happened where he, you know, he obviously, he comes to Toronto, has the great, leads the great resurgence, gets traded away. Years later, they trade for him at the deadline to come back and lead them in the play at, well, not even lead them, but to be a deft piece of their playoff run, his last run back in Toronto, and in his very first game, blows out his knee, suffers a career-ending injury, and never plays again. That sucked. Yeah, for me, a guy I always really liked as a player, Mark Savard,

you know, being, you know, being. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because he tried to come back and he scored that big goal and threw his stick into the stands and all that. and then just being like, I can't do it anymore. Like that was such a bummer. For me, it was

Candanico only because he's Ukrainian like me, but also because he was the constant on the devil since I became a hockey fan. He was just like always there. And so it was kind of weird to think of a devil's team that didn't have him.

But he was like 39 and his knees were shot. And like it was time for it. It wasn't like a tragic story. It was clearly time for him to retire. But it was like one of those like, oh, wow, now things are different. Like, there's no longer a Kandico on the Devils, and that's kind of weird. Luckily, he came back to be a color commentator who is a real great personality, but maybe not the most best ex-sexist and nose guy. Maybe not. But then again, he's, but then again, he's replacing Chico Resch, so I mean,

anything. Oh, Doc, let me tell you, this sausage I meet is the best, oh, there's a goal. This sausage I'm eating is the best thing I've ever on. Another one. It's got peppers. It's got onions. The real hairy. Yeah. It's that whole thing. All right.

Let's fuck soup for this week. A little bit of a shorter one because we went over two hours last week. I'm Greg Wischinski. You can listen to my other podcast, ESPN and I said Emily Kaplan. You can listen to me and Emily on the Richard Deich podcast this week on the athletic to talk about how we do this shit. And then also find me on Twitter at Wichinsky, WS-H-Y and S-K-I. Ryan Lambert, Sports.

Yahoo.com slash author slash Ryan dash Lambert. But mostly sign up for the newsletter on the Patreon. It's four bucks a month. Three bucks a month if you are going to also subscribe to the $5 bonus episodes. And, you know, I'm doing music and movie recommendations on there. My album recommendation last week, very popular with people. A few people reached out and said they really dug it. And, yeah, also obviously hockey takes and that kind of thing.

I'm going to review us this week, the new Jordan Peel. So I'm seeing that tonight. So, yeah, check it out. It's not expensive, and I like doing it. Nice. There it is. Right on. You can find me at the Athletic on Twitter at Down Goes Brown.

This week, I'm breaking down the remaining nights on the schedule. on to just over two weeks and you don't have to watch all of them because some of them are not very good. But some of them are really good. And so let me help you out and determine that. And, uh, yeah, and, um, Martin Beron was the goalie retired by Thomas Hurdle because I picked it up because it was bugging me. So if, if you were yelling, yelling at your device, uh, we heard you.

Read, read Sean's article on what, what nights to not watch hockey and realize he does not work for a rights holder. That's fuck suit for this week. We'll talk to you next. week. Check out the mailbag on the Patreon. It's got amazing stuff this week. And we'll talk to you next week. Take care everybody. Bye.

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