PurePerformance - Perform 2020 Finale

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

We wrap up the last day of the Dynatrace Perform 2020 conference with an announcement of winners and learnings for the week

Coming to you from Dynatrace Perform in Las Vegas, it's Fear Performance! Hello everybody! Hi! We are here. You have the entire podcasting crew standing before you. Not that you haven't ever seen us before standing before you. I'm a radio phaser. Yeah.

I actually want to stand after them. That's great. You don't really? Don't you think? We're off to a great start. We are because it's day four. I'm glad I used the random orbital on the noggin. No, you're good.

You're shiny. So it's the end. It's the end, everybody. The end. The. You're shiny. So it's the end. It's the end, everybody. The end. The end of the world. The end of the world. It's the end of Diner Trace Perform 2020. Yes.

Which is, as usual. But it's just the beginning of your performance journey. We paid him just a small amount of money to say it just that way. As you can see, it's emptying out. They're breaking down. Those guys are packing things up. Everything's starting to disappear. Pack it up, tear it down, drive it home.

Everyone behind us is kind of disappearing. Well, they're not disappearing. Not like the rapture. Well, no, Thanos went like this, and they're starting to turn into dust and blow away. Yes, that's exactly right. But we do have a first-moving crew, like, yeah, we need to take it. Yes. But we're celebrating a couple really interesting things here in the

Peer Performance PerfBytes world. One, it's our fifth year doing some kind of live podcast. Fourth year for PerfBytes. I'm five years old. Last year I was four. Now I'm five. Okay, great. So he's five years old.

Podcast year. Our first year we did this in Orlando after probably half a bottle of scotch, if you go back and listen to that episode. We sounded just like that. But we were trying to actually do. But that was really fun. That kind of kicked us off with later hosin. Glasses, no glasses.

Glasses, no glasses. All right. Yes. It's a weird segregation here. That's right. So this is your third year with Peer Performance. Fourth year? Fourth year with Peer Performance, yeah.

Yeah. We did Cosmo, Bellagio, Cosmo, Fourth year. Fourth year with Pure Performance. Yeah. We did Cosmo, Bellagio, Cosmo, Cosmo. There you go. I like it. And first year with Perf Pait Espanyol. Yeah. I was a performed virgin. I'm not anymore.

Excuse me? I'm glad to say it. Did you make a perform? Did we miss something? That wasn't on camera when you did that. When you actually lost your performed virginity. Why do you always have to take it to the gutter, Mark? You're such a dirty-minded old man. No, it's just, I don't think we're licensed to stream video like that.

I mean, we're near Las Vegas, but it's not San Bernardino. I kept it broadcastable. Broadcastable. So, yes. It's an open TV that you would, you know. Leandro Melendez, the host of PerfBytes Español, gracias, amigo, for being here with us. How was your Diner Trace Perform experience?

It was a huge experience. I had more Latin, Spanish-speaking friends than I expected. Yeah. Way more. We were a bit worried that nothing would happen, and I was non-stop you rocked it i'm glad to say there were uh more podcasts today i guess and then on the previous perfect espanol season so hopefully there's plenty of content there for people who are new

to to dive into to pick up and uh yeah, if you had recorded them instead of going live, you could have just put them out as episodes and you would have been, like, off the hook and not been a real guest for a while. I'll see you next year, and thank you, everybody. So we also piggybacked. So the other first is we piggybacked off of Leandro's on the Pure Performance side,

and that was their first Spanish-speaking Pure Performance Español broadcast. Radio performance. Muchas gracias for that. How would you say, like, pure performance in Espanol? I had a question. Pure is because just performance? Yeah.

Or the pureness? That's not even it because it's a pure path, right? What the word would mean? I think more like solamente, you know. Solo performance. Like it's, we're only talking, all these topics are about performance. The peer. The naked, true performance.

Solamente performance. Strong arts. Performance. With no nudity. It depends on the host. How would you say space pen? Space pen. Pluma del espacio.

That sounds so much more elegant. I don't even know where it is. La pluma del espacio. It's a space pen. It is a space pen. Yes. Cool. So that's our cool celebrations.

Yeah. It's really awesome. We're doing something else new this year. Yeah. The other thing is like, I can't remember what it was. We're experimenting with this video thing. Yeah. Yeah.

So first year of video broadcasting. What? We promise, like our first year doing podcasts from Perform, it'll get better. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It, yeah. It's always got to be the first time. And, you know, we worked out with some keys early on.

Yeah. But now there's the nice Chiron that you had going on there. It was nice switching out. And, you know, it's always good to have your first time in Las Vegas. Yeah. Paradise. In paradise. Paradise. Yeah.

I don't want to wait to get to paradise with a space pen. That's a whole wow. Paraíso y pluma espacial. Yes, the paradise of the space pen. Yeah. Yeah. We also have some other announcements. Well, obviously we give away things, so we have a few announcements.

One is the winner of the Perf By Choose. Brian is wearing a pair of Perf By Choose. I'm wearing a pair of Perf By Choose. And it's from Launch Darkly, one of the PerfBite Shoes. Brian is wearing a pair of PerfBite Shoes. I'm wearing a pair of PerfBite Shoes. And it's from LaunchDarkly, one of the partners. You'll go back and listen to an interview with Yaz Graham. Right.

And Yaz shared a story that may or may not be performance-related. It is sort of a timing performance-related thing. It was such an awesome story. From Second Life, where it was the... They were killing virtual horses. Arabian horses. They could not get to their food.

They would slide right past it. The coefficient of friction had changed in the universe. And they couldn't stop to eat their food. So these horses were dying. People paid real money for these horses. For these horses. A virtual horse dies.

There's a real economy in that world. I kept thinking of that world, the panda logo thing instead of the panda horses. That's right. It was a saddish story for cyber horses. We should maybe take just a minute to remember those poor horses. Trigger and Black Stallion. They were Arabian horses. Was that with Black Stallion, the movie?

Was that an Arabian horse? Yeah, I think it was. Because I remember it running on the beach. Yeah. It was like a foreign country. Yeah. I saw it when I was like five, so I don't remember.

Very vague memories of that movie. No, it's like, yeah. I remember it was Bo Derek with the cornrows running down the beach. Was that? No, that was 10. Sorry, totally different movie. It would slide off the edge of the universe

and into the virtual glue factory. Into the virtual glue factory. Oh, didn't they spin up in the air and spin around? Yeah, something. Yaz, that was an amazing, amazing story. The grip on the floor, I think they were sliding a little bit like lemmings. That's right. So congratulations to Yaz.

Check out Launch Darkly, and you can go back and watch that episode. We'll get your details, and we'll send you a pair of these fantastic PerfBite shoes that say, you know, load test, dress test, or yours have PerfBites on the outside and maybe get some funky green. Those are like the Jamaican colors for PerfBite shoes. Purple is in Jamaican. Beautiful. Now, the other thing that we gave away, in the past, Dynatrace performed Santiago was the first winner of the big drone.

Yeah. It was really awesome. I picked up, because it was really hard to send someone home on an airplane with giant drones. Not being big drone. Yeah. It was really awesome. I picked up, because it was really hard to send someone home on an airplane with giant drones, were micro drones,

which are, these are kind of new and hip, and you can put them in your suitcase and take them home with you. So we had two other people. You can put them in your shirt pocket.

Yeah, yeah. So it was Chris Labrado, I think it was. I think so. Yeah, who came and shared a story with us about like zero balance, like pushing something that zeroed all the prepaid balances on like thousands,

if not millions of prepaid phones for T-Mobile. Sorry, T-Mobile. Clearly they learned a lot. It was T-Mobile. It was T-Mobile? Yeah. This was a long time ago. So he won a micro drone. And our other micro drone. 2007 that was, right? Yeah, that was 2007. That was T-Mobile. It was T-Mobile? Yeah. But this was a long time ago. So he won a MicroDrone.

And our other MicroDrone. 2007, that was, right? Yeah. That was 2007. That was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. Unfortunately, they've gotten past it. Yeah.

And the other MicroDrone winner went to Robert from Magenic, where he was talking about a success story more than a performance. It was a performance crazy story, but a success story where he stayed up until got the outage call up at 2 in the morning. And, but you know, he said, poured a glass of whiskey, but he

was using Dynatrace. So he didn't even finish his glass. Well, you hardly, you know, you just, you get to finish the outage taken care of in 30 minutes and finish the whiskey and go right back to sleep. And more soundly, I might add, after sleeping. So he's our second winner of a drone. So congratulations to Yaz and Chris and Robert, our winners of the week.

And of course, everyone that came with me. I was going to say, if you were at Performing and you're wondering how you could have gotten a drone, well, if you'd come by and shared a story. So next year, remember, come share a story. Share a fun story. It doesn't have to be as sensational as virtual dying Arabian horses. Although, if you're watching this, you have a whole year to craft a story. Make something up.

If it's real, practice it so that you own the story and it's real. Grab some cool experiences. Live a little bit and come and tell us. Yes. Try it out at your local TED Talks. Yeah. TEDx. A little dramatic run. You can try it at your local NED Talks. Yeah. TEDx. TEDx. A little dramatic run.

You can try it at your local Ned Talks. Ned? Yeah, those are like the off-brand TED Talks. Nerd TED Talks. That's beautiful. Or just the local meetup or your family, you know, because they want to know what you do. Thanksgiving dinner. That's exactly right.

Good to tell performance stories. We also usually have a little wrap-up of different announcements and topics and things from Dynatrace story, which is very important. But this week there were things that I picked up around AIOps, like some of the pre-recorded stuff that Andy, Andy on the Street, he wasn't technically on a street, though.

He was in Lintz or various places. He was all here. He was all captured. He recorded those all here in the hotel. All right. Yeah. What? What are you talking about?

It was Andy and his hotel room. Andy on the street. Don't look. It's a sausage making. It's really... And that was the... That sounds weird again. What's happening?

Yeah. We're in paradise. That's why. I don't know where Mark keeps going. Yes. No, no. But it's the jungle. It's Upton Sinclair's book.

Welcome to the jungle. Yes. No, that's a totally different thing. There's a lot of conversation around AIOps. Yes. Some key things around ACE, and Andy is in the ACE team. And ACE stands for Autonomous Cloud Engineering. I should know this.

Yeah, you should know this, but it's Autonomous Cloud. So if you're going to look for some interesting things about this, you hear people saying Captain. Ladies and gentlemen, the Perform 2020 Expo is closed. Hey. We'll be bringing in equipment and dismantling displays. You heard it, people. Please exit the room.

Thank you. That means we better hurry because we'll release the dogs. Yes. Release the hounds. So we're going to get the hook. Yeah. But people can follow up on peer performance on things for Ace and for some of the other cool stuff that came out. There's also some interesting business announcement stuff going on.

So, yeah, that should be very cool. James just faded. He's going to step out and get ready to shut things down. I think he's got gas and he's walking off to save us. Right, and that's the end of our broadcast. I didn't see him move his legs. I really appreciate everyone for coming out, everyone for listening.

We'll both be back to our regular type of podcast after this. So thank you if you hate listening to our Perform podcast. We'll be back to regular soon after this. If you love listening to it, another year you've got to wait for this part. I wonder if there are people who only listen to us

during this event. Yeah. Well, we do sort of abuse people with the pace of releasing things. Machine gun broadcasting. Another one. Another episode. Another episode.

Yeah. Yeah. I like it. But yes, as usual, you can listen to Peer Performance on Twitter at PeerDT. Peer underscore DT. Peer underscore DT.

PerfBytes, of course, and we have PerfBytes, PerfBytes Español. Español. PerfBytes ESP. ESP. ESP. And ESP. And ESP. Gracias, amigo.

Peer Performance on Twitter was like car racing stuff. Yeah, you don't care about that. James does the News of the Damned, so you can look him up at News of the Damned. If you have questions about performance, any questions, Preguntas a esta performance? Preguntas arroba perfbites.com. Yes, and Brian is the host of Ask a Perfbite. So anyone needs help, anyone has a question about any topic at all around performance,

we'll bring it on the Ask Performance Q&A session. Ask at Ask Perfbites or send an email to... Ask at Perfbytes.com. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, everyone. And we will see you next year. Oh, thank you very much.

Before we go, let's remember to thank you once again. Congratulations. Laura Stack. Because Laura Stack's the bomb. Yeah. She's the space pen of events as far as I'm concerned. Awesome. Gracias, Laura.

Yes. Ciao, everybody. Ciao. Adios. Adios everybody. Ciao. Adios.