Pursuit of Wellness - Best In Class: Motivation, Mindset, Productivity & Manifestation

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Ep. #127 Welcome to another episode of Monday Mashups on POW! This week, we’re featuring powerful discussions with Tom McCarthy, Melissa Wood Tepperberg, and Roxie Nafousi on transforming your life through personal growth and mindset shifts. We’ll explore using trauma as a catalyst for change, overcoming self-esteem challenges, and embracing new tools for managing anxiety. Discover how to find your true identity and purpose, manifest self-worth, and cultivate a positive dialogue around self-image. Tune in for actionable insights and inspiring stories to help you navigate life’s challenges and thrive! Leave Me a Message - click here! For Mari’s Instagram click here! For Pursuit of Wellness Podcast’s Instagram click here! For Mari’s Newsletter click here! For Tom McCarthy’s instagram click here! For Melissa Wood’s Instagram click here! For Roxie Nafousi Instagram click here! For POW Brand Promo Codes click here! Sponsored by: Plus, if you visit carawayhome.com/PURSUIT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase.This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit carawayhome.com/PURSUIT or use code PURSUIT at checkout. Caraway. Non-Toxic cookware made modern. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high-quality closet essentials. Go to Quince.com/pow  for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That’s Quince.com/pow to get free shipping and 365-day returns. AquaTru comes with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee and even makes a great gift. Today my listeners receive 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Just go to AquaTru.com - that’s AquaTru.com and enter the code “POW” at checkout.  Visit clearstemskincare.com and use code POW at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Again, that’s code POW for 20% It's time you own your health. To join Function Health, go to functionhealth.com/pow and use code POW100 to skip the waitlist. Available up to 1,000 listeners. Show Links: Ep. 78 How to Live a Life Without Limits and Transform Your Reality With Tom McCarthy Tom’s Book Ep. 62 Melissa Wood Health On Healing Your Relationship w/ Food & Finding Self Love ​​ You Can Heal Your Life A Return To Love Ep. 72 How To Manifest Your Dream Life w/ Roxie Nafousi Topics Discussed Tom McCarthy 02:15 - Using your trauma to transform yourself 04:32 - Victim Mentality  07:42 - Dealing with self-esteem with athletes   10:22 - Our subconscious mind 12:42 - Reprogramming the subconscious mind  16:47 - Finding true identity and purpose  Melissa Wood Tepperberg 23:38 - Hitting rock bottom 25:53 - Adapting with new tools for anxiety 26:58 - Taking full responsibility for your life 28:15 - Self hatred around acne and forming a positive dialogue 31:51 - Changing your perspective towards yourself 32:13 - Acupuncture, mediation, colonics  38:33 - Healing your relationship with your body Roxie Nafousi 48:40 - Addiction, yoga and hitting rock bottom 54:39 - The importance of hitting rock bottom  56:15 - Manifesting and self-worth 57:25 - You have to grow through what you’re going through 01:00:21 - Manifesting out of self worth, taking responsibility 01:01:25 - Roxie’s 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life

This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, and I'm your host, Mari. What is up, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Pursuit of Wellness. Today, we are rounding out our Monday mashup episodes with a motivational mindset episode. I think when it comes to wellness or a fitness journey, mindset is really everything. When I look back on my fitness journey, as you guys know, I lost a lot of weight, but more importantly, I completely changed my life and it's had such a big impact on the way I go about my work, my relationships, everything. And I've had some amazing guests come on the show to talk about mindset. So today we're going to be hearing from Tom McCarthy, who's a motivational speaker, Melissa Wood Health,

who you guys all know and love most likely. She is a fitness influencer, but also talks a lot about meditation and mindfulness. And we have Roxy Nafusi, who is the queen of manifesting. So we have a really great roundup today. I think this episode is going to leave you feeling super motivated. We're going to talk about using your trauma to transform yourself, dealing with self-esteem, the subconscious mind, and finding your true identity and purpose. With Melissa, we're going to talk about hitting rock bottom, tools for anxiety, taking full responsibility for your life, turning around inner self-hatred and that voice that can be really negative, changing your perspective towards yourself and the importance of flexibility.

With Roxy Nafusi, we're going to talk about manifesting and self-worth, growing into what you're supposed to be, manifesting and taking responsibility. I really think this episode is such a good one. Before we hop in, I want to remind you guys, we are doing a giveaway the entire month of August. Every single Monday, we are picking a listener to win a Bloom Sparkling Energy PR box, a Pow Tote, and a Healing Era hat. You just need to follow or subscribe to the show on Spotify or Apple, leave a review, and then send a screenshot to the Pursuit of Wellness podcast page on Instagram. Give us a follow.

It is US entries only. And we'll be announcing the winner on Sundays. So without further ado, let's hop right in. For anyone listening who has maybe a similar story or a hardship, as you mentioned, everyone has something. How do we take that painful experience and flip it and turn it into like you have, like a positive life mission? I think most people do, or many people do eventually. Like even you, the experience

you went through, you probably look at it now going, thank God that happened, right? Thank God that I had to go through that transformation. The trick is doing it sooner so you don't suffer as much. And the thing that I, you know, there's always, there's always something in every adversity, no matter how difficult and challenging it is, like losing a family member for me. And I wish my dad were still alive. I mean, I wish I would have gotten to it because he was supposed to be this amazing guy from all the stories I heard. I didn't, obviously only two years old when he left. So I wish he was here. But at the same time, life is not this perfect little path all the time. Actually, it is, but you don't recognize it because you want it to be this way and it's

this way, but it is perfect. And so I think the one thing, this is hard for some people to buy into because it's easy to be a victim. It's easy to say, you know, gosh, darn it, I got cheated. And I felt that way. So I know how easy it is. But when you understand the universe is always working in your favor and these things that are smacking you in the face or kicking you in the rear end, if you use them, you get to shift yourself. You get to transform yourself. Because if you just stayed on the nice little path, you'd probably never transform. You need these things to transform. Now, I'm not saying that you always need adversity. I used to think that. But if you're actively growing yourself the way you are, like reading

and listening to podcasts like Mari's podcast and talking to people who have skills and talents that you can learn from, when you're doing that, you don't need as much adversity. I think adversity comes when you're not on the right path or you need a little shift to get back on that path. I love that. And I think, as you said, a lot of people, I've noticed just even in my comment section or online, a lot of people feel like life is happening to them, not for them.

And that victim mentality is really prevalent today. And it's something that I went through too on my journey. Before going through what I went through, I would look around for people to blame or situations to blame, feeling like a victim. And I think taking responsibility and looking inward is kind of the first step on that journey for many people. Yeah. And then one of the big things that really changed my life was when I understood or when I learned that you can choose how you feel. The outside event is going to happen.

But we all have like you and I could have the same thing happen to us and you would go, wow, thank God, like that really moved me in a good direction. And I could still be sitting here going, you know, gosh, darn it. That's so unfair. Why'd that happen to me? It's not the thing that happens that really determines whether it has value or not. It's your way of looking at it, your way of perceiving it. And it is very easy to be a victim. I mean, there's so many shows on TV that you watch, you know, victim this, victim that, people blaming. I think we're in a time right now where, you know, so many people are pointing the finger at other people and trying to say, you're the reason I'm not successful, or you need to change, I'm fine. And when we truly take responsibility, it's not easy. It's so much easier to be a victim.

So that's the challenge. But when you go against the grain and you just say, look, I take responsibility for anything that happens to me, and I'm going to use it in a way that makes me better, your life changes, and you become powerful. And what my book was about is how do you shift reality? You shift reality by taking responsibility. And when you do that, reality starts to bend in the direction you want it to. And I have a quote in the book that, and I do this on my emails too, average conforms to reality. Oh, that's bad. Everyone says it's bad. Yeah, that's bad.

That's average, right? Greatness creates a whole new reality. Your company was built upon adversity that happened to you that you overcame. And now you've got, and we're in the beautiful headquarters here. It's amazing. You've built this because you took responsibility. Thank you. It's crazy you say that

because I feel like everyone I've spoken to who sat in that chair and has had some level of success has been through something really hard. And I say it every time I talk about this topic, but you, many people I've spoken to here, they've all gone through something hard and it makes them better. And I think you pointing out, we could have gone through the same thing and had a

different outcome. I think about siblings. I see that a lot. Siblings who have gone through a similar journey and one comes out, you know, successful and ready to take on life and one kind of stays the same. And it's just about, you know, changing the way we tell our own story. I'm curious when you coach people, particularly athletes or people who are trying to perform their absolute best, what are some common challenges they run into or you run into while coaching them?

Yeah, well, I think one of the big things, even though these are high level athletes and very successful, one of the big things is really their level of self-esteem. You know, I think an athlete that, if you look at athletes and you look at their capabilities, and I played football in college. I can remember being on a team where we had one of the greatest football players ever to play in the NFL.

His name was Lawrence Taylor. Now, he's long retired, but he was amazing. But I remember looking at another guy that played the same position as he did and he had all the physical talent. I mean, everything, just as fast, just as strong and was good, but not at the level that Lawrence Taylor played at. And so, yeah, what is the difference between what results? And I would see players and I see athletes that probably aren't as talented and they surpass people that are way more talented. You know, my son, Tommy, I can remember when he was 12 years old, he said he

wanted to play basketball and he'd been a really good soccer player. And he says, I want to play basketball. And at the time he was okay, but not a great, he was a really good soccer player. He got invited to, to play for the Olympic development team, uh, for just for California, but then, you know, potentially play a bigger role. And he says, you want to play basketball? And I think it's crazy. Like, why does he want to play basketball? And we put them on a team and he was like, you know, the eighth or ninth guy, He wasn't that good. But every day he worked at it and he had this belief, like he had this belief that he could be a really great basketball player. And he just started passing people by. And some of the people he passed by got better than were taller, were, could jump higher, you know, were better at this, better at that.

But eventually he became a guy that was recruited by many colleges and got into Harvard because of it, played basketball at Harvard. But he wasn't always the best athlete in terms of his innate skill level, but he moved beyond that. And so I think for anybody, the number one thing that they've got to, they have to have is to be deserving. They have to feel deserving of what they want to create. Now there's some other things too. They've got to really focus intently on it. And when I say focus, I'm not just talking about the conscious mind. Our lives are run by our subconscious minds. I've heard you talk about this. What is the subconscious mind? Well, our conscious mind is what you and I are thinking

with right now, right? We're aware of thoughts we have. You come up with a question. I listen to it. I answer it. But underneath that is a part of our mind. There's actually three parts of your mind. So the conscious mind is kind of what we look around at and make sense of the day with. And we watch something, we listen to something, we communicate. We're using our conscious mind for quite a bit of that. But what's really driving what happens in a day,

the conscious mind is about 5%. It can process about 40 bits of information per second. So pretty good, right? But the subconscious, the below conscious mind, that part that you're not actively perceiving all the time, is the massive part of our minds that really drive what we do. It's all our habits. It's all our behaviors, our patterns. They're down there. And the challenge is we're not aware of it. And some of the patterns that are down there are really good and some are not so good. It's from our

little two-year-old mind that picked up from our parents that life is hard or it's difficult to make money or you can't trust people. And then we're wondering like, why is life not working out? It's because that subconscious mind has programming that at one point in time, it thought it was good, right? It tries to protect you. It tries to keep you alive. But we need to do more than just be alive. We want to thrive.

We want to create. And so we can program that subconscious mind. And then the highest level of mind, I think, and it's not a body part, but I believe we have a super conscious mind, a mind that sits over everything, that can connect, that have you ever had a situation where you think of somebody you haven't talked to in a while and then all of a sudden they email you or call you up? Literally yesterday, that happened to me. That's your subconscious mind did that. It communicated through the ethers. And also it can work on programming and bringing in knowledge. It can work on bringing that into the subconscious where now you've got an upgraded subconscious mind and you can accomplish

a lot more. So how do we reprogram the subconscious mind? Because I feel like even me, I've been through a lot, I've achieved a lot, but I still sometimes feel like I have this deep rooted rut that comes from my childhood and I don't quite know how to get in there. Yeah. Okay. Well, the way that you can start, and you said something really important. You said you feel it. Yeah. Yeah, because the subconscious mind expresses itself

through feeling in the body. You know, you feel a certain way about something. That's the subconscious mind trying to communicate with you. Also, intuition that's positive. That's the subconscious mind giving you a little nudge, you know, telling you to do something, telling you to move to Texas, right? Or whatever it might be. So the subconscious mind is trying to communicate, but it's not doing it with words. What I like to do is when you focus on a result,

we're here to create. You've created an amazing company. You've got an amazing team here that I've got to meet already. Beautiful building, like just really cool stuff. You're a creator. We're all creators. So we're here to create. So at the beginning of the year, we should say, not just my intention to fix some part of me, but what do you want to create? What do you want to create in your life? Stop focusing on what you want to fix. Nobody's broken here. We're all creators. We came from a creator. We have the creator in us. We're creators. And so what I like to do at the beginning of the year is come up with three, you know, usually three or less, but big things I want to do during the year that would really be fun for no other reason that

other than I just want to create that. I would love to create that. Not because I'm broken. I need that to feel better about myself. But then you focus in on that. And then when you focus in on it, you visualize it, right? You use your imagination. Einstein said the imagination is a preview of coming attractions. And so you just get in and you go, you know, I really love creating this. I see it. I feel it. I believe it. And then you start to notice, is there a part of you that's not in love with it? Like really going for it. Even though it's really cool, there's part of you that might not have the level of self-esteem and the subconscious like, oh, you know, I don't know. This must, it might be too much or I'm not deserving or

it's too hard. And when you start to feel that, then you know that's what you need to go in and start working on with the subconscious. Now, there's lots of ways to do it. I do a version that some people might say is pretty out there, but I call on my subconscious mind to come treat, excuse me, I call on my super conscious mind to come recode my subconscious mind. And I'm a huge believer in the super conscious. I do believe that we have this super consciousness that is beyond your body. I think we live in the super conscious part of the mind. I think it really has pretty much no limitations. That's why my book is called Living a Life Without Limits. You know, the breakthrough code, I live a life without limits.

So I call on it and, you know, this is probably a little bit complex for some people going, what are you doing? But I actually do that. And then the other way that you can program the subconscious is by really visualizing whatever it is you want, but seeing it and feeling it. Because the subconscious mind is tapping into what are you really seeing? What are you visualizing? Are you seeing yourself fall short? Are you seeing yourself enjoying it and really now having this amazing thing that you've created? What does it feel like? Do you feel confident? And the other thing you have to notice is the subconscious in love with what you want to create. If it's not, you won't get it.

So you've got to do some reprogramming of the subconscious. And I feel like that requires us to really tap into our true selves. And that would in turn help with your identity. I was going to ask you about finding true identity because I feel like a lot of us are swept up in the noise and what other people expect of us. But by that visualization and really tapping inward, I feel like it would help us find our core selves too. Yeah. I think we're all here for a very unique purpose and mine's different than yours. You know, yours is different than my wife's who's here. And they could be similar, but we're here to do something special. We're here to matter. And we are these creative beings. And

a lot of people don't think of themselves that way, but they are. I don't care where you are in your life right now. You are a creative being. You are here to create. You're here to create just for the heck of creating what you wanna create, right? Now, when what you create is an alignment with your purpose, then that's even better. And it's more natural.

I think you've got this natural flow. But we all have different purposes. And I think the mistake that I think I made when I was younger was I would look at someone else and go, oh, I want to do what they did. I want to be like them. And then I realized what a crock, right? I'm not them. Like they have a whole different set of experiences than me. They're going to do their part on this planet, but I do mine and I've got to tap into what it was. And so I do mine. And I've got to tap into

what it was. And so I started off, I was working with a Wall Street firm. And I did it because I wanted to make money because we had no money. And I was like, I want to make a lot of money, you know, like this person I really looked up to, this mentor that I had, because he was in that business. And I did well. But after three years, I realized, you know, this is not what I'm supposed to do with my life. And I did something crazy. I left it. I gave all my clients away. I left a lot of money on the table. And, you know, I had a couple houses back there that I bought at a young age. I left all that, moved out to California to help run Tony Robbins' company. I was the head of sales and marketing for his company at like 25. Didn't even know what I was doing. People were, I remember my best friend when I

was getting ready to drive out here, he was crying. And he thought I had, you know, moving to California, number one from the East coast. And he thought I had fallen and hit my head on a curb or something. He thought I had gone crazy. Now, within the year, he actually came out and started working for me. Oh my God. Yeah. But my purpose is to help people step into their greatness. And that was a great first step for me to be around Tony. He was a great friend of ours and was in our wedding. We actually met at his house, my wife and I. So that was a great first step. But it was, it was my purpose was calling me to get out of something that I thought I was gonna do my whole life and now do something else. And I've been doing it for a long time now.

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Dutch oven, and saucepan, plus lids for all of them, a canvas lid holder, and a magnetic pan rack for storage. It's the ultimate kitchen setup and will save you $150 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit carrawayhome.com slash pursuit, you can take an additional 10% off your purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so you can visit carawayhome.com slash pursuit or use code pursuit at checkout. And don't forget to mention that you heard about Caraway from us in their post-purchase survey. Caraway non-toxic cookware made modern. I feel like you have really made such a big impact on the wellness industry. And I can tell just through listening to you and watching you, you truly are living so authentically. But I know it hasn't always been that way. And it hasn't been an easy journey necessarily. For anyone who doesn't know, where did everything start for you? Who were you before

Melissa Woodhealth? I was a very different version of myself. You know, really lost in life and living a life of a lot of shoulds, which I think happens to most of us. And we don't even realize that we're in that cycle because we haven't developed the self-awareness to be able to really like look deep within ourselves. And I can tell you, I certainly didn't at that place in my life, but it was, this really came to life through me being the most disconnected with myself and just really

wondering and questioning like this can't be it. Like there has to be another way of doing this instead of torturing myself and being so awful to myself. You know, I didn't have a great relationship to myself and it was being honest for the first time and wanting something different that really woke me up. And then asking for help was like the thing that really changed everything for me because I think a lot of us are living our lives in a way that maybe, you know, we're not the most proud of or we want more, but people aren't willing to really take a deep dive within themselves and make some real hard changes.

And I had hit a point that I was just, that was my rock bottom of torturing myself and struggling with an eating disorder quietly for years and just binge drinking, binge eating. And it was just such a vicious cycle of hate towards myself. As you just said, I think the honesty part is key. And it was key for me in my journey. I feel like so many of us are, you know, we kind of tolerate a life that isn't exactly what we want, because it's not painful enough. And a lot of us wait to hit that rock bottom moment to be like, okay, I need to do something. So I can so relate to that. What did that rock bottom look like for you?

I mean, it was it was really just not loving myself. I think that was it. Just like really waking up to that realization and feeling really sad about it. And just, you know, being on the floor after a night of drinking and binge eating and just, it felt awful. And I, and just wanting, I wanted something different. You know, it was like, that was like the moment where I saw two roads and it was like, I can carry on down this road of mass destruction because I was very good at that. Or I could choose this new way

and adapt new tools in my life to lean on when the anxiety came in or feeling really low, you know, at moments of my life instead of resorting back to these old tools that weren't serving me. And it was like, I saw it for the first time laying on the bathroom floor and just being like, okay, buckle up. Because I know that's also not, it's not the easy path. No, right. It's the thing. It's the harder. It's the harder path.

To be honest with yourself and say, wow, and take full responsibility for everything that you're doing and the way that your life is. Because I think, I mean, I know I personally looked for other things and people to blame for where I was at back then. Same. Right? Like it was like an almost an angry shame I felt. It was like, whose fault is this? Like, why am I not living the exact life that I want to? Right. You really need to turn inward and be like, oh, this is me.

And I'm the only one who can get myself out too. A hundred percent. That is the thing that, you know, I grew up with a very dysfunctional upbringing that I think caused a lot of traumas in my life. But you can keep carrying that story or you can work at, to me, it's not changing it, but it's like altering the way that you look at it.

Instead of looking at it as like, oh, you know, this got me to this place and this happened to me. It's like, yes, it did. But how can we use that as fuel to fight for a different path, for something, for doing something different, for being someone different than maybe a way of life that we were used to growing up. Another thing I've heard you speak about is the self-hatred that you had around your acne.

And every time you talk about it, I get chills because I can relate in so many ways. I had acne for almost a decade and I'm just now starting to see progress. You're beautiful. Thank you. But it has taken so much time and energy to get here. And the self-talk I think is something that so many people can relate to. I mean, it's vicious the way I would pull myself apart and even like physically pick at my skin and try to get it off of me? Because it's almost like you can't see yourself. How do you work on having a more positive dialogue in

your head? It was through the time when my skin was the most broken out that I actually, I started reading two books that really helped me like turn to love within myself. And the first one was You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Did you read that? I have it, but I haven't read it. Okay. That's fine. I mean, I pick up so many books and start reading and don't finish half of them. This is a sign that I need to read. These are two that I did finish. And A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson taught me to, like no matter what I knew I wanted, right? I wanted and desired clear skin so badly.

It helped me learn to love myself as I was. In that moment, like full acceptance of the place I was in, which is so hard, right? Because you're like, but wait, but I don't, but I don't want this. But it's like, but the way through, and I say this a lot with people with weight loss too, because I think when someone is unhappy with themselves and they, you know, say like, I need to lose weight or I need to change everything in my life. I always try to, like, it's all about shifting the perspective because when you do that, you see yourself differently and you see the process of it

differently instead of it just being like, I'm here and I want to get here. It's like learning to be with yourself at every stage of the process because it's just such a process. And I mean, I used to put like the post-it notes on my mirror and I would say like, I love and accept myself exactly the way I am. And Louise Hay says to like, look at yourself and say it. And it's so uncomfortable when you're like, but I don't, but I'm like, but I'm working on it. And like to keep saying every morning. So mantra was really helpful. And the thing that really like changed it all for me and for my skin, I was actually just having this

conversation with someone who is struggling with acne. It was meditation because I strengthened my mind. Yeah. Like I was able to really work at like being still with the thoughts that were coming up, like those vicious thoughts, and then find more love and compassion for like that younger version within myself, just being like, well, I'm still in here. Like we grow into adults and evolve into these different humans, but like that, that girl is still in there. So learning to just be really gentle with that, with like that version of yourself really helped. When my acne was at its worst, I feel like so many people I spoke to said

that they healed through self-love and limiting stress. And they told me to slow down. And, you know, I kind of was resistant to that. I was like, no, there has to be a diet. There has to be a skincare regime. There has to be a medication I can take. I had all these, like, you know, I wanted to find a coping mechanism that would be feel productive. Right. And you want to do something to fix it. But I actually feel like the reason my skin begun to clear up was because I accepted it.

And I said, you know, I did the affirmation thing too. I looked at my face every day and I said, my skin is telling me something. Like I appreciated the fact that my skin was telling me something was wrong on the inside. Exactly. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. It's like, where's the lesson?

And it's through like, I did all the things too. I mean, and some of the things did help. Like I changed all of my skincare products, all of my beauty products, the clean beauty, all of my cleaning supplies. I altered and adjusted the way I ate, really practiced eliminating certain things to see if it helped.

And it did. But the thing that got to the root cause of it was changing my perspective towards myself. Yeah. It's not one thing. No, it's not. And I think like I went on Accutane. I tried all the things, every topical that you possibly could think of. And it was like nothing, nothing was getting to the root. So like, that's where I knew I was so used to looking like outside of myself for all of the answers because we want that instant gratification and we want it to be fixed now. But going in and being like with the true like seed of my soul is when it just, I remember

it started here. It started to clear up and I was like, oh my God, I like, I see, I'm seeing myself differently, you know? Yeah. In Chinese medicine, they say different areas of the face break out for different reasons. And I kind of believe it. At first, I was a little bit skeptical. Oh, no, I do. But now when I'm emotional, I see it on the forehead. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. And hormonal in the chin. And I swear by acupuncture too. Do you? Swear. What benefits have you seen? Oh, my. Immense. To just start. I think the nervous system regulation is the number one thing from someone whose baseline has... I try to be so careful the way I say this now because I think we attach ourselves to the things that we say. So instead of saying like,

I'm an anxious person, I'm like, no, I am not. But I'm feeling a little anxious. Like even those little like fine tuning of the way that we say things all make a difference. I love that. It all makes a difference. And the nervous system regulation, the massive decrease in anxiety. Also like my menstrual cycle is very gentle from doing it once a month now. I do acupuncture facials too, which are incredible. Wow. Yes. Okay.

And I just overall, I feel like the word balance feels loaded, but I overall feel like a sense of balance. Yeah. Like I can feel my two feet on the ground. I actually did it to get my period back. Oh, because when I came off birth control, I lost my period for over a year and I was panicking. Wow. And I did a lot of acupuncture. And I don't know if that was the reason, but it did come back. Okay, great. Yeah. Because it puts you into your parasympathetic

nervous system. Do you meditate during? I do. I feel like there's nothing else to do. And sometimes I drop into like a deep transcendence. Yeah. Like I like wake up and I feel like I just had the deepest rest of my life. But like I was, it's very interesting. That has happened to me as well. I go to Aura and the room is also so peaceful and beautiful and like that energy and the space. And I just, it's like a sanctuary. I need to get back into that. But like to think that like putting these little needles in you could be peaceful.

It's pretty wild. It's pretty wild. But when you just lean into it, it works. Wow. Okay. Everyone listening. Also, a lot of people had questions about colonics. Oh, I was going to go there next. We were on the same page. Well, yes. Because I'm terrified. You are?

I'm scared to have a tube up my butt. Right. I understand that. It's not the most, like when you talk about it, it's kind of like, wait, what? But it's really not that bad. It really all depends on your colon therapist too. I've had many different versions. Like my formula that really helped heal my skin was meditation and colonics. Those were the two that like really helped get to the root cause of like making a massive change on a gut level.

How often do you get them? So I don't have like a system where it's like I go once a month. I am so intuitive with them. I've been getting colonics for over a decade. I like know when I need one. It sounds so weird, but I'm so in tune with my body. Which is fantastic. It's like, it's not even, it's not like a bloating. It's this, when I start to feel a real

heaviness in my energy, because it's a very like spiritual energetic practice. It mentally, emotionally, and spiritually helps clean that shit out. Clean that shit out. Clean that shit out. You leave lighter, like so light. But I would say like my average is about four to six. I am not telling anyone else they should do that. It all depends where you're at in your life. And yeah, it's been a massive part of my healing process and my

wellness journey. And I'm such a believer in gravity clinics. And I love Vanya. She's literally the best colon therapist in New York. That might have to be the first time. She's an angel and she uses essential oils and she just knows how to massage you in all the right places to have the most insane releases you've ever had in your life. Oh, we love a release. We love a release. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna need that. Thank you. I'll share that with you. Speaking of being in tune with your body, you've been very brave and open about your previous eating disorder, which I think so many people relate to and can benefit from hearing you speak about.

How has your relationship with your body evolved from then to now? Because now it seems like you have such a healthy relationship with yourself. I do. And I'm so grateful for it. I really love myself. Like I treat myself as I would treat my daughter. Like I'm just like, I do so much every day. And like this body, this soul carries me. Like I do everything that it takes and not in a strict or disciplined way. That is not the way I do things. It's just from love and care. It's like I prioritize sleep more than anything else in my life.

I get at least seven hours of sleep. Sometimes if Eleanor is having a rough night or something, it could be less. But I also factor in just in case things could happen that I know I'll have enough sleep. It was definitely different when they were younger, but it's probably the one thing, like the way I look at my weeks. And if I'm really busy, I won't do as much because I know that I need adequate amount of sleep because then I'm just like great and I can like take on the world and do everything.

But I treat myself really well. I like, I take the best care of myself. And I used to think that that was not cool, which is crazy. And I almost think there's like a massive wave of a trend coming back where like glamorizing hangovers and being completely wasted every weekend is cool. And I'm really here to let everyone know it's not. Thank you for that. Because I was the same way. I thought being as hungover as possible was cool. So cool. And I agree. I'm seeing it back on TikTok and I'm seeing, I mean, young, young girls are watching that and it makes me cringe because I've been there and it's not cool.

You miss out on life. And I don't even like mean to pass judgment because I've also been there. Yeah. But as someone who's lived through it and has come out on the other end, I just want to share like that you can bring so much joy back to your life when you have the capacity to really hold space for all the amazingness that every day can bring. And when you're laying in bed, sick and hungover, you don't care about anything. And it's just, you know, it can really weigh you down. So I do all the things that like lift me up. Like I am so into my routine, but I have a very flexible approach. I think it's really important not to be too strict and too disciplined. I'm consistent as a motherfucker. Like I am consistent as they come. You can rely on me because I prioritize my peace and my practice more than anything else. And then I'm able to do all of the things to my fullest potential.

And I don't know about you, but I am here to live to the highest vibration that I can possibly create in this world. And the only way that we can do that is by tapping into complete alignment with ourself. And I think the way to do that, as you know, through taking care of yourself and also being okay with like, like I have pizza once a week. Like I am so fluid with like what I eat, what I drink. And I don't shame myself. I don't guilt myself anymore because I did for so long. I would beat myself up for eating something that was bad. And that's what led me to being bulimic for a handful of years because I couldn't deal with that self-shame.

It ate me alive, literally. And I had to get rid of it. I had to get rid of that feeling. That was my tool. That served me well secretively for so many years. And then getting to a point where you can't even look in the mirror anymore. Like I shared this work with so much passion

because I know it's possible. because I know it's possible. Like I know it's possible to change. I know it's possible to wake up every day and not even know what the day is going to bring you, but to find so much excitement for the unknown and for just being curious and content with being happy, making your smoothie and like getting on the mat. Like what a gift that we get to do this work. It's a privilege. Yeah.

And we all take, we take it for granted. Yeah. And we hang around people who don't lift us up. That's huge. Massive. I just got full body chills. Massive. And it's hard when you're in it because misery loves company and it loves to suck you into that vortex

because then the people who are miserable don't feel alone. But you can still love people who are miserable from here. Like arms, lengths and love and light and blessings and possibly have moments where you come together in different ways or you just spend less time. But that's a really big, big piece of it. You guys know I have been on

such a journey with my skin and it has been kind of difficult for me to find a skincare brand that I can really trust and that's why I rely on Clear Stem. It is the first skincare line that combines all three categories, anti-acne, anti-aging, and clean, meaning free of hormone disruptors and pore-clogging fillers. It was founded by Danielle and Kaylee, two of my good friends and two people who have experienced acne themselves. Danielle is an acne guru and Kaylee is two of my good friends and two people who have experienced acne themselves. Danielle is an acne guru and Kaylee is a certified holistic nutritionist and they just get it. They know the ingredients that are going to work. There's no fragrances. There's nothing that's going to mess up your skin. And I feel like I can fully trust them. Plus they recently launched their

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Health, go to functionhealth.com and use code POW100, that's P-O-W-100, to skip the waitlist. And it is a big waitlist, guys. This is available to up to 1000 listeners. I've been seeing you everywhere. And was telling you seeing people from the UK crush it in the wellness industry just makes me so freaking happy. I also feel like manifesting has been quote unquote trending lately. And what I love about you is that you bring the science and like facts to manifesting. It's not just like think it and then it will happen. You talk about the hard work that goes into it. So I can't wait to delve in. I'd love to start by talking about how you came to this place of positivity and living so intentionally, because I know it wasn't always

your reality. Yeah. So basically, I mean, not to give you my whole life story. Please do. Please do. But growing up, you know, I am an Iraqi that was growing up in Oxford. I'd always felt like very much an outsider from my earliest years. And there was a lot going on at home. There wasn't, you know, I don't want to delve too much into that. But there was definitely never an emotionally safe environment for me. I didn't have any tools to learn to be happy. I didn't see happiness around me. And so I think that contributed to me kind of developing this extremely low self-worth from a really young age. And so I can never remember feeling confident or

feeling like I liked myself. Quite the contrary. I loathed who I was. I felt really embarrassed of my culture. I felt embarrassed of how I looked. I felt embarrassed of just who I was as a person. And looking back, I definitely suffered from depression for my whole life. But at the time, you know, mental health still had a massive stigma. So if you'd said to me then, you know, you're suffering from depression, I think I would have been

mortified. But it's really clear to me now that's what was going on. When I turned 18, and I kind of left school, I went straight to university, I discovered cocaine. And, you know, for me, I would have a line of cocaine. And then all of a sudden, I would have this false confidence. And that for me became extremely addictive. So by the time I was 21, I was in Narcotics Anonymous, I'd already gone straight into this kind of really heavy drug taking that was completely spiraling out of control. But I didn't actually end up giving up until 28. So you can imagine that from 21 to 28, I'm in this kind of spiral of knowing I have a problem and being in and out of addiction. You know, when you have addiction, you're always trying to

give up or find ways to, you know, overcome this thing. But actually, it's very, very hard to do. And I wasn't able to. And alongside this addiction, I had, you know, no sense of worth, I had no career, no prospects, I had no purpose, I was very unmotivated. I was very lonely. And it was just a really dark time. And this kind of culminated in April 2018. So one thing that I had had as a consistent throughout my 20s was yoga. So I started Iyengar yoga when I was 21, because I had a really bad back. And I remember that yoga mat really did become like my safe space. So I would always like get on the mat and cry. And it was this consistency that I had. And throughout my 20s, you know, obviously, like I said, there were lots of times

where I was like, I want to try and change and try to give up. And one of these times I thought to myself, why don't I go and do a yoga training course, yoga teacher training course, sorry. And this could be the catalyst for me to really give up. So in April 2018, I go on a yoga teacher training course, sorry. And this could be the catalyst for me to really give up. So in April 2018, I go on a yoga teacher training course. And, you know, there's 200 hours of yoga, I have no access to drugs, I'm meditating, I'm away from all my vices. And I thought this is going to be what changes me. And then I fly home. And on the day that I land, a friend of mine calls me and she says, Oh, do you want to come to this dinner tonight? There's this art gallery opening. And I was like, Yeah, sure. Sounds fun. And she goes, Okay, meet me at my hotel.

So I go to her hotel, and it's about four o'clock. And as soon as I arrive, she racks up and she says, Do you want a line? And I went, Oh, went oh yeah fuck it and I ended up getting high going to this party with her going to an after party going to another one going home on my own the next day and carrying on on my own going to lunch with a friend who obviously was sober she was a normal person um I then go to the hairdressers, I'm still just like there getting high, go out again that night, go home with someone and then 48 hours later, I hit rock bottom. And I was so full of shame and regret. And this feeling of hopelessness. And I thought, well, if that's not going to change me, if that 200 hours of yoga isn't going to change me, what will?

And so I called a friend of mine, Sophia. And Sophia is, she is quite, she is spiritual. And she is definitely into like things that are woo, I would say. So I called her and she was like, babe, don't worry about it. She was like, I've just listened to a podcast on manifesting, you should listen. I thought, fuck it, I'll try anything. So I listened to this podcast on manifesting and something in it just clicked. And I think what clicked was that I realized that this was a practice about self-worth and I had none. So perhaps I was manifesting, but in the wrong direction. I was keeping myself stuck. And two weeks later, on the 7th of June, 2018, a man named Wade messaged me on a dating app. And a year to the day, on the 7th of June, 2019,

our baby boy Wolf was born. Wow. Do you feel like that rock bottom moment had to happen for you to get here now oh 100 percent i mean i it's funny because now and i talk about it in my second book manifest in action which is that i think that i call the section like rock bottoms and leveling up i think that every time we hit a rock bottom or perhaps even that we're just going through a really challenging time, or, you know, a time of hardship or rejection, or we're kind of trying to overcome these obstacles. On the other side of that, there is always reward, because you have to

grow through what you're going through. And I think that it's like when somebody's going through heartbreak, I'm always like, honestly, congratulations, because you are about to become the best version of yourself that has ever existed, because there's nothing more healing than heartbreak. I agree 100%. And I feel like when I look back on my rock bottom, which by the way, I relate to a lot of what you said, I had extremely low self-worth majority of my life,

and alcohol, food, like I always found a new vice for it until i hit the rock bottom i'm so grateful that i hit that rock bottom because you start from nothing it's like what do you have to lose when you literally have nothing yeah and i feel like it's almost a blessing because i watch people who don't have a rock bottom and they kind of coast at this sort of like i don't love my life but it's not that bad. Yeah. And they never have that moment of, it's not an epiphany because they don't get to experience that.

Yeah. For anyone who's listening and they're like, wow, I feel like I'm manifesting a negative reality for myself. How do you work your way out of that? Like, can you manifest when you do have low self-worth? How do you reverse that? Yeah, you definitely can. I think it's just about starting that journey. And I think, you know, part of manifesting is about taking responsibility and actually taking yourself away from victim mentality. And I was definitely in victim mentality. I was always like, typical,

this would happen to me, poor me, like, you don't understand how unfair my life is. You don't understand how bad I feel about myself. And I think, firstly, it's quite, it takes quite a lot of courage to admit that you're in victim mentality. That is a hard thing to do. Because it's embarrassing. It is because then you think, oh, you know, there's shame attached to that. But actually, when you can say, you know what, I have been acting, being the victim, and it's time that I take control of my life. It's time that I use the power within me to create a different reality. That is gold.

You know, that is so empowering. And in its essence, that's what manifesting is about. And it's making that decision to kind of go on that journey. I want to ask you about prioritization, because I'm sure a lot of the girls listening are like, I want to manifest my dream man, my dream house, my dream job. Yeah, whatever. It's so much at once. Is there a limit to how much we can manifest at once no I actually do not think so so I think that when you if you start your manifesting journey with a vision board let's say but a vision board just to be clear make a vision board and not a mood board so a mood board is lots of

pretty pictures a vision board has really clear lists so my vision board for example has no pictures it's just bullet points of everything that I want in specific detail oh um hot take yeah love that okay that's what because I never really vibed with the mood board vision board I was like I'm just I mean I have one on my desktop it's like horses yeah and like flowers it's just pretty pictures that's not a fucking vision board I'm'm like, well, my vision is a horse. So that's great. Okay, so yours is bullets. Mine's bullet points.

It's like specific, like everything that I want, I go big. I have a guide to how to make a vision board in the books. But yeah, a vision board is different to a mood board. So once you've got your clarity, and I actually tell people to split this vision board into categories so that you're creating a full full picture of your life so like personal development which is like how you want to grow personally career home um romantic relationships and then like hobbies or leisure or you know where you want to travel to things like that so you want to create this full picture of your life. And I think that once you start to get into this alignment, and once you start to focus

on self development and healing and understanding yourself better and believing in yourself and treating yourself in the right way, it's easier to manifest everything because it comes from this place of self worth. So if you're feeling more confident in relationships, likely you're also feeling more confident at work as well. And you're starting to feel better about, you know, in your friendship groups or in social situations and everything starts to align. And I think that there is this kind of magic to the practice that things start to just fall into place, life starts to feel easier, and it starts to flow better in all areas. But obviously, day to day, we have priorities,

and weekly priorities. And, you know, some weeks, my priority is like, I need to go all out at work. And that means I have no social life, which is basically me for the last three years. But also this year, I decided that one of my priorities was to start to live more and like have more focus, time focused on travel and social engagements. Yeah, that's one of mine too, actually. I'm like, I haven't made friends in a really long time. Like I should probably work on that. For someone who feels overwhelmed by their vision board, like let's say they have so many bullet points. Yeah. How do you recommend like honing in on one? Pick your top five. Yeah, just make it easy. Okay. All right. You can only have five. What are the five things that for you are most important? Okay. And also make sure you're figuring out why you want things. Sometimes you're putting things on because other people want that thing

or your parents want it for you or your friends have it. You actually have to get really honest with yourself. Cut out the noise. What do you actually want? And also what do you want now? Because the old you maybe wanted that thing, but the new you may not. And that's okay.

Like let it go. We have to give ourselves permission to actually grow and change and evolve. I love that. I feel like a lot of times we put things on the list that sound good. Yeah. You know, it's like, oh, everyone wants a new car. Like I should want a new car. Yeah. But do you? You know, do you actually care about cars? Do you really need it? Such a good point. Yeah. Personal question for you. As you've gotten more successful, busier, you have a team, you've got all these responsibilities.

Have you found it more challenging to sort of stay in the routine of manifesting or has it gotten easier and easier? No, because it isn't a routine. Because the seven steps are the way I live and breathe. It's like almost autopilot for you at this point. Yes, and it will be for everyone once they've read it and they've started practicing it. It's so easy because if you think about it, the visualization I'm doing kind of daily, I'm

really clear on my goals. The self-development stuff is constant for me because I'm always questioning why am I behaving like this? Why do I have this pattern of relationships in my life? Why is that my go to reaction? I'm always questioning that and then trying to figure out how I can heal it or change it. I'm always aligning my behavior with my higher self. How can I show up today? How can I step outside my comfort zone? How can I, you know, do something that's going to take me to the next level? I'm always able to reframe challenges because this step has taught me that, you know, step four. I'm practicing gratitude every day. And the way we even talk to each other,

you know, it influences the people around you, me and the team now. Like I almost laugh because the way we speak, like we're having this trip in America and we're just like, guys, this is the best sandwich I've ever had. We're in Sweet Greens and we're like, this is unbelievable. Like, we're so fucking enthusiastic. I'm dead. It's unbelievable. Because Sweet Greens is good, but like, this is salad. We had one, I had a, will I talk about it again? Yes, I will.

I went to New York. Have you had, did I talk to you about this when I saw you the other day? The Blackstreet Bagels in New York. Oh. The Reuben. It's like pastrami bagel. Basically the best thing that ever happened to me.

And I'm still thinking about it. You know, I went on the Today Show. I did NBC. All I care about was the fact that I had the best bagel of all time. They're like, hi, can we talk about manifesting your butt pastrami on a bagel?

Who knew? And gluten-free. What the fuck? Was it gluten-free? No, this is the thing. Oh, you're going to have to send me that, please. Oh, see, now you get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it's gluten-free, I'm going. So it really feeds off. So we're always in this positive mindset. And even when, like, you know, I had a really tough day two days ago. I woke up and I just felt sad. Like I was just down. I'd been waking up before 4am for the last nine days. Jet lag's got me. It's been like 12 days of press. I really miss my son. And I was like, guys, I just feel really sad today. And the girls were like, but this really good thing happened. And

this thing happened. But then also like showing me the positives, but also just letting me like be sad for a day. And then knowing the next day, I was like, guys, I feel so much better. We're back. You know, again, it's that bounce back. And then anytime I'm feeling envious, I really do change it. And I make sure to always celebrate other people's success.

And then I just sink into that trust, into that knowing. So it's just an everyday, all day kind of thing. I love it. Roxy, you're awesome. I'm very inspired. I'm ready to start manifesting. And I'm going to start with my gratitude practice tonight because I love that. Amazing.

I ask every single guest because I believe everyone's pursuit of wellness looks different. What does wellness mean to you? Treating yourself with the love and respect that each and every one of us deserve. Hell yeah. I love that. Thanks for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player you can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marielawellen.com it will be linked in the show notes this is a wellness out loud production produced by Greg Peterson

Fiona Attucks and Kelly Kyle this show is edited by Mike Fry and our video is recorded by Luis Vargas you can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at MariFabulous. Love you, Power Girls and Power Boys. See you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice

and does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.