Pursuit of Wellness - How To Get Through Hard Times

Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Mari has grown her to fitness and nutrition brand. Co-founder of Bloom Nutrition. Forbes 30 under 30 list. A successful entrepreneur. Someone who has lost 90 pounds. Today's guest is Mari Llewellyn. Mari Llewellyn.

Starting point is 00:00:16 My grandmari. Welcome to the pursuit of wellness. Before we hop into this episode, I want to say thank you so much for the outpouring of support at the POW community walk. Almost 300 of you came. It was absolutely insane. We legit took over Venice. It was like an army of girls just walking down the beach. It was absolutely incredible. And I really think I want to do walks like this every quarter, at least. Let me know what you guys think. It was such a nice way of meeting you guys in person, but also seeing you all make friends. I talked

Starting point is 00:00:50 to so many girls who were like, oh, we just met today and now we're besties and we're hanging out over the weekend. So that made me so, so happy. Let me know what you think. I'm also thinking eventually we do a live podcast. Anyway, without further ado, let's hop into this episode. Hi guys, welcome back to the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Today, I want to introduce you to a new segment I'm introducing to the show. I'm calling these mini motivational solos. It's just me today. I know you guys really, really enjoy the solos and I personally love solo episodes on other podcasts. And I'm really excited about this new segment of the show where we can really dive deep on topics that I think will help so many of you thrive and live your dream life. Many of these topics are

Starting point is 00:01:38 things that I'm personally dealing with at the moment or have dealt with in the past. I've been through so many ups and downs through this journey I've been on through this life and I've learned so much. I want to share with you guys some actionable tips you can start taking right now to improve your life. These will be shorter episodes around 30 minutes or less that can be the perfect thing to listen to while you're getting ready, you're driving somewhere, or you just need to be fired up for the day and start on a positive note. I know that when I wake up, it's so important to me to be intaking content that is positive and uplifting and motivating. So I want to be here for you guys during that time. With that said, listen for moments during this

Starting point is 00:02:20 episode that you think you'd like to share with a family member, a friend, someone who might be going through something right now that applies to this situation. And don't forget to subscribe. A lot of you listen to the show, but you're not all subscribed, which means you will be missing Monday episode drops. So make sure you hit that subscribe button. With that said, let's hop into today's first mini motivational solo. We are going to be talking about navigating through hard times. I get so many questions about this. And I personally have been through some really, really hard times. And believe it or not, we are going through something hard right now in our business. And I felt like I'm using so many of the tools I've learned over the years. Let me actually get on the mic and talk about this because we've all been there. And I'm sure a lot of you listening right now are going through

Starting point is 00:03:09 something tough and I feel for you. I've been there. I want to give you guys tools and actionable tips you can take and start improving and working on this moment that you're in in your life. So let's hop right in. Firstly, I'd like to say the way I used to handle problems in my life was very different to how I handle things now. I think a lot of you will relate to the way I used to handle things. I was always living in fear. I was afraid to face things head on. I would rather bury my head in the sand and suffer in comfort, meaning rather than facing my problems and handling them, I would pretend they weren't happening and I would distract myself through other vices, whether it be drinking, eating, spending time with someone who maybe

Starting point is 00:03:56 I shouldn't have been, I was cramming before tests, getting by with minimal results, doing everything I could to just distract myself from the reality of what was happening and while this may feel good temporarily you live with this discomfort and heaviness knowing that you are not reaching your full potential I'm going to say that again while this may feel good temporarily you are living with discomfort and heaviness knowing that you are not reaching your full potential. I feel like that is the underlying message of this entire podcast. You're ultimately hiding from yourself when you avoid your problems. And that was me. That was me up until I was about

Starting point is 00:04:38 22 years old. I hid from every problem I had. That can happen for a number of reasons. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism that you needed in childhood or just a learned habit. Maybe no one ever taught you how to face problems head on. But when you do that over and over again, you show yourself that you aren't worth showing up for or fighting for. You actually lose trust in yourself and you may lose trust in others too. People will stop relying on you for certain things or relying on you as a friend to be there. Because when you're hiding from yourself, how can you show up as the best version of you for everyone else? You may avoid honest conversations with others. For example, I remember during my really, really dark time,

Starting point is 00:05:22 I was basically in psychosis at this period of my life. And I was still holding on to straws of hope. I got offered an internship in New York City, and I was commuting in every day, kind of trying to act like everything was okay. And really doing my best to be a functioning human, even though I knew I wasn't. And it was way too soon for me to be entering a career. And one day I just decided I couldn't take it anymore. And I just didn't show up for the internship. So rather than sitting down and having an honest conversation with my employer and saying, you know, I think I took this job on too soon. I don't think I can handle it. I simply didn't show up. I ghosted my boss, which looking back is obviously such a crazy way of handling

Starting point is 00:06:11 the situation. And clearly I was so afraid of the confrontation and of what might have happened. But now as a boss and as someone who's been through so much, if someone came to me and said, hey, like I'm really mentally not doing well, I don't think I can continue to show up as the best team member, I would have so much understanding and I would respect the honesty. And I'm telling you guys that now as someone who does employ a lot of people, we have 65 people in our office, every time someone's honest with me and just communicates, to me, that's so much more respectful than not showing up as the best version of you and simply

Starting point is 00:06:51 avoiding the problem. This episode is brought to you by Whoop, the 24-7 health and fitness coach that tracks your sleep, strain, recovery, stress, and more to provide personalized insights that help you reach your goals. Whether you're obsessed with putting in a little more effort in the gym or getting in those extra hours of sleep, Whoop helps you improve your everyday health and wellness. Each morning, Whoop gives you a recovery score that acts as your daily guide for how much you should exert yourself. At the end of the day, you'll get a recommendation for your ideal bedtime and wake time. You can also track over 140 different habits and behaviors to see how they impact your overall health. Greg and I both personally have WHOOPS and it's so funny to

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Starting point is 00:10:18 One of the biggest changes I made on my fitness journey and my journey to self-improvement in general was addressing problems in my life. And there were a lot, let me say that. I don't want to come from a place of beating around the bush here because there were a lot of problems in my life. And there were a lot, let me say that. I don't want to come from a place of beating around the bush here because there were a lot of problems in my life. And before I get into the specifics, I'd like to say a trigger warning for anyone because I was in a really dark place. I was drinking alcohol excessively. I had dropped out of school. I had no job. I had no goals or purpose. I had lost all the relationships I cared about. I was overweight. I was unhealthy. I was using junk food as a distraction. I was self-harming. I was floating through my life with no real sense of who I was or what I wanted. And all of the

Starting point is 00:10:59 habits I just listed were ways of distracting and running away from my real problems. I couldn't face the reality of my life. It was too hard for me to look myself in the mirror and say, this is a problem. So at the point where I hit my rock bottom, which I've talked about in previous episodes, if you want more details, you can go back to my first episode about my journey. But hitting rock bottom and having to move home, and I'm skipping over details here, but really being at the lowest point of my life. I mean, I remember being on the bathroom floor, bleeding, crying out for help alone with no hope. I remember being there. I remember being that girl. And now I'm in this chair talking to all of you. That was the moment where something clicked for me. And I knew I had

Starting point is 00:11:53 to face the problems head on and I had to be honest with myself and take responsibility. So my first actionable tip for you all is don't hide from the problem and face it head on. Be honest with yourself. This is going to be hard and painful. Looking at the reality and admitting that you maybe made a mistake or taking responsibility is going to be hard and painful, but everything that is worthwhile in life is hard. It wasn't meant to be easy, but you will come out of this so much stronger. This is a character building moment. Look at this as an opportunity. If you are in the position I was once in, no matter what that looks like, if you are at rock bottom or you just know you're not reaching your full potential right now, view this as an opportunity to build your dream life and be

Starting point is 00:12:47 the dream version of you. He or she is in there. I didn't know who I was at this moment of my life. I had no idea what I was capable of. And just by showing up every day and keeping your own promises and facing your problems head on, you are going to slowly but surely get closer to that version of you. Take responsibility. I've talked about this before. Blaming others for your problems is not productive and it will not get you closer to your goal. I was very much someone who blamed other people or other situations for where I was at in my life. Oh, it's because of this. Oh, it's because I wasn't treated this way as a child, or I wasn't this. We can talk about our traumas and feel sad about them. I'm not saying that we are not allowed to validate our own experiences, but they are not reasons for you to not take

Starting point is 00:13:40 responsibility for your own life. And I think taking responsibility and owning up for the position I was in was a huge step in the right direction for me. I would also say focus on what you can control. There's no sense in ruminating on things that have happened or the way you handled things in the past. I know personally I have, you know, I've been working on some of the regrets I have about things I did in the past and the ways I acted in the past. But all you can focus on is right now. The present moment is the best moment to be in. This is the moment you can take to change how things are moving forward and change the story. Make a list of action items you can do in this moment, even if they are small.

Starting point is 00:14:30 For example, if there's a hard conversation you need to have, start writing bullet points of things you want to say to that person. Or make a promise that you're going to drink a certain amount of water every day. These can be small, small steps. Build brick by brick. Take baby steps. I'm such a big fan of baby steps because something is better than nothing, guys. For me, at my rock bottom of my journey when I wanted to get healthier, the first step was a walk a day. Literally a walk a day because that's all I could manage in that moment. But it got me a step closer to where I needed to be. Create the Instagram page for your new business. Start sketching out ideas. Something is better than nothing. Even now, I use this skill. When I wake up and if I'm exhausted and I have lacking motivation, I maybe am not going to have

Starting point is 00:15:20 the best workout of my life that day, but am I still going to go for a walk and maybe do two ab exercises in my garage? Yeah. Something is better than nothing. A 10-minute workout, whatever it may be, because that's still going to build up your internal confidence for yourself and get you closer to where you need to be. You guys know I've been through the gamut with my acne i've had acne for almost a decade now and i've spoken about how much it's taken a toll on my self-esteem so when i was on my acne journey i was really looking for brands that get it and that's where i found clear stem i love the founders danielle and kaylee and they really are unlike any other skincare brand. They fill in the gaps where modern dermatology has failed. Their goal is to help us get off of Accutane, off antibiotics, off of the medication, which I'm all about, and control skin

Starting point is 00:16:16 from within and externally. They know their ingredients so well that they're able to fight acne and help with anti-aging all at the same time. Plus they're as non-toxic as possible. I have had such an amazing experience doing lab work through their blood chemist, Emily Morrow. If you go on the ClearStem website, you can actually order blood work to see what's going on internally and possibly causing the acne. I really believe this is such an internal journey. Highly recommend you guys get lab work done through them. And I had everything explained to me so well, and I was able to make lifestyle changes that really helped me clear my skin, plus discovering pore cloggers in my current routine and removing those too. Visit clearstemskincare.com and use code POW for 15% off. That's clearstem.com and

Starting point is 00:17:03 use code POW for 15% off your order. I also love using previous failures as evidence. I do this a lot now even. My therapist always says this quote to me, you've been through worse and survived. So every time now, for example, the situation we're in currently with Greg and I, I think we're handling it so much better than we ever have in the past because we have fallen down and picked ourselves up so many times. If you can make it through this moment, you can make it through anything. Use this as evidence that you are capable of anything. My fitness journey, I thought that was the hardest thing I would ever do in my whole life. I really did. By the time I lost 90 pounds,

Starting point is 00:17:55 I knew I was unstoppable. And it was evident to me in the way that I carried out my whole life. Not only did I lose 90 pounds, but I got my degree. I got a job for the first time. I started a business. I was someone who didn't think that I would be alive past age 23. I really thought that my BPD would take over my life. I thought that I would be another statistic. If I did survive, I thought that my life would be mediocre. I didn't think I would amount to much. Going through what I went through proved to me that I am literally capable of anything. And I hope you guys know, no matter what you're going through right now, you are going to make it through this by taking these action items, and you will come out better for it. I look back now and I'm so grateful for everything that I've experienced.

Starting point is 00:18:46 I wouldn't be who I am now without it. If you're at rock bottom, you're actually at an advantage because you have nothing to lose. You guys know I really like Alex Hormozy and he says, you have nothing to lose and therefore you are in the best position you could be in. And I look back now at when I was at my rock bottom, and I almost envy that time because things were so simple. Now I have so much more to lose and the stakes are so much higher. When you're at rock bottom and you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. This is a moment where you can reinvent yourself, take the reins on your life and become the version of you that you've always wanted to be. You can build from nothing. You have a blank slate here. It's all up from here. For me, rock bottom was the first step to finding out who I really am.

Starting point is 00:19:37 Another thing that really got me through some of the hardest times of my life were using the pain as fuel. And I know this can be considered a toxic practice, but this was really helpful to me on my journey. And I just want to be honest with you guys. All of us are motivated by different things. And I think whatever can take you to a better place can serve you. And it's not what fuels me anymore necessarily, but during that time, it's what I needed. And the way I'm motivated has definitely evolved. But at the beginning, the idea that I was proving everyone wrong really motivated me. I was angry at a lot of different people. In retrospect, I think I was actually mad at myself the most. I was mad at myself for being in the position that I was. And I use that anger

Starting point is 00:20:26 to push myself every day. Show the world who you really are and what you're capable of. If you're sad, if you're angry, use that. Use that as fuel to prove what you can do. Find the good. I think there is a gray area here. Good and bad can exist at the same time. Greg and I are going through something right now and it's one of the hardest business problems we've ever experienced, but we're also having the greatest success at the same time in one area of our business. And holding onto that can get you through everything. I mean, when I was at my rock bottom, I really didn't have much to hold on to, but I was getting closer with my dad at the time because he was there for me during

Starting point is 00:21:11 the journey. And I think holding onto that, even if it's the smallest thing, maybe it's just a moment or a tiny win, hold onto that and let it carry you through this dark time. Fia and I just did an episode where we talked about perfect moments. You can be at the lowest of lows and still have a moment that brings a smile to your face, an interaction, a bite of your meal, hearing a laugh, whatever it may be, try to hold on to that and know that good and bad can exist at the same time.

Starting point is 00:21:44 If you're going through something tough right now, please know that you are not alone and know that there is so much potential in the season that you're in at this moment. It's not the problem itself, but how you respond to it. You have an opportunity here to come out better than you were before. You have an opportunity to to come out better than you were before. You have an opportunity to rebuild who you are. Rebuild your dream life. Become the version of you that you've always wanted to be. Let's embrace this moment and take action. I love you guys so much. Thank you for joining me here today. I really hope you enjoy this type of episode. If you do, please leave

Starting point is 00:22:24 me a review. That's how I know what you guys are enjoying and what you're not. I really hope you enjoy this type of episode. If you do, please leave me a review. That's how I know what you guys are enjoying and what you're not. I want to keep improving the show. Don't forget to subscribe, follow, and review. I will see you guys next Monday. Love you. Bye. Thank you for listening to today's episode. Go comment on my last Instagram at Mari Llewellyn with the guest you want to see next. I'll be picking one person from the comments to send our bloom greens to. Make sure you hit follow so you never miss my weekly episodes. If you enjoyed the conversation, be sure to share and leave a review. See you next week. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Starting point is 00:23:06 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Pursuit of Wellness - How To Get Through Hard Times

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