Pursuit of Wellness - How to Manifest Wealth and Break Limiting Money Beliefs w/ Shamina Taylor

Starting point is 00:00:00 For many successful women and men, the thing that drives us is our feeling of unworthiness and not good enough. So the most successful people out there have the same core wound that I share, but there's another way. We don't have to live in suffering and work so hard. This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast,

Starting point is 00:00:18 and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. What is up, guys? Welcome back to the show. Today, we are talking to Shamina Taylor. She is a wealth consciousness expert and mentor. She is all about money, honey. We are talking about finances today, which I don't think I've ever done on this show before. Truthfully, it's something that I feel like I need help with. I am not a numbers person. I don't love talking about money. So when I heard Shamina wanted to come on the show, I was so excited. I was like, yes, I need a conversation with you. So on today's episode, we're going to take a deep dive into the journey of financial freedom and wellness with our incredible guest.

Starting point is 00:01:02 We explore how fears around finances can hold us back and discuss the impact of childhood trauma and our relationship with money. We talk about victim mentality versus taking accountability and how to overcome feelings of shame and guilt. We talk about practical tips on saving, breaking generational scarcity, and creating a wealthy mindset, as well as how to find your purpose and start small. We even dive into the fun and cheeky topic of sugar daddies, how to embrace the art of receiving and what it really means to redefine wellness when it comes to financial freedom and abundance. We are going to talk about how to manifest wealth, guys. So if you are interested in this topic,

Starting point is 00:01:42 keep listening. She was absolutely amazing. The conversation got a lot deeper than I had anticipated. So I think this is a really good time to reflect on your own relationship with money. Are you holding yourself back? What do you need to address to become a wealthier person in life? So let's hop right in to this episode with Shamina. Shamina, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I am so excited. We've already

Starting point is 00:02:06 been talking off camera and just having just a good energy together. And you are a wealth consciousness expert and mentor. So we are going to be talking about money, wellness, and wealth today. And I think we're also just going to talk about confidence, female wealth, trauma. I can see us going all over the map. I'm personally very excited to have you here today because I've told the girls before, I have a weird relationship with money. I don't consider myself someone particularly financially literate. I'm not good with numbers. I tend to fully dissociate when I hear numbers. So it's something that I have kind of been self-conscious about ever since having my own business and becoming successful, knowing that I have money,

Starting point is 00:03:00 but not really understanding it and not being confident in it, just to be so upfront with you. So I'm really excited to learn from you today. I'd love to start by hearing your journey to financial freedom. How did this come to be? Well, thank you for your transparency and being vulnerable about it, because I think that's the first spot is identifying where are our limits and where are we stuck, right? And for me personally, I used to be an attorney. I was married, had, you know, two beautiful children. It was back in 2013 and I just finished a bodybuilding show.

Starting point is 00:03:36 I used to compete and figure and a couple of yogis came into my life. And one of the gals, she actually competed with me. The news wanted to do a show on her. So they said, hey, like, let's get some B-roll on you. And of course, I wanted to be on TV at the time. So I go to a yoga class and it was my third one and we're in the yoga class. And this was like my aha moment. This is the pivotal point where things changed for me. So it's important that I share it. But I get down on the mat and I'm very competitive. I'm going to win yoga and beat everybody in the class because that's what you do. But about 15 minutes in after she's been showing off and we did 150 dog downs, she said, put one leg one way, put the other leg that way. And of course I'm going to do it. I grab one of those little square boxes and I'm pushing

Starting point is 00:04:19 through. And as I'm doing this, this physical pain was so excruciating, like forcing myself, but no pain, no gain. So I was always going to push myself to that point. Then she started talking. She's like, are you happy? Are you happy with your life? And I'm sitting there going, I am not happy. Aside from being in the excruciating pain, I was like, I don't know who Shamina is anymore. I'd had every checklist you were supposed to have. The husband, we're fit. We went to Europe in the summertime. We went to the Caribbean in the winter. We had the mansion. We had the businesses. We had everything. Yet something was missing inside of me. I could feel the hole. But as she kept talking, this physical pain turned into emotional pain. And I just started

Starting point is 00:05:01 crying, just losing it. And I couldn't stop. And it was like the first time in so long, I just had this moment of, it was like, okay, to just let it all out. Cause I was usually the ice queen. I knew how to just suppress my emotions and just push them down and ignore them. But in that moment, I couldn't. And that moment I realized something in my life had to deeply change because now I saw something that I couldn't end see. So I left the studio. I mean, it's not everywhere. It was terrible.

Starting point is 00:05:29 And about a month later, my husband moved out because that's what we thought was best. And I ended up getting a divorce and I ended up going on a very deep spiritual journey for three and a half years, finding out why my marriage broke down. Why was I the woman I was? And why did all those things and successes never feel like they were enough and I never felt enough? So I started learning about consciousness and I started learning about healing. And I literally tried every healing modality because I had a lot of trauma growing up. You know, when I was 16, I had a very of trauma growing up. When I was 16,

Starting point is 00:06:05 I had a very narcissistic parent and I found out he was cheating on my mom and he ended up finding out because I told him. And I believe he tried to kill me that night when I found out. And it was one of the toughest things as a child to not be protected by your father. And that's where my self-preservation and my survival mode started when I was 16. But for many successful women and men, the thing that drives us is our feeling of unworthiness and not good enough. So the most successful people out there have the same core wound that I share. But there's another way. We don't have to live in suffering and work so hard. And as I went through this consciousness journey and healing myself and

Starting point is 00:06:49 really moving through it, I feel 11 years later, I am healed now, but I found that I could apply it to money because a lot of our core wounds actually are affected with money. And that was my transition into my journey. And I saw, well, it's never about the money. It's about somebody or something else that's affecting our belief systems. Because how we look at money is whatever meaning we've applied to it. So it's like the lens that your parents gave you, society gave you, is where you look through the world. Everybody can make money. It's just can you keep it?

Starting point is 00:07:22 Can you compound it? Can you grow it? Can you feel safe with it? Can you be neutralized by it? Can you have power over it instead of it having power over you? And I feel that's where I have that wealth consciousness now. It sounds like your mission isn't just about getting wealthy. It's becoming content with it and feeling fulfilled because you were wealthy beforehand in your marriage, but it wasn't necessarily making you happy. What's the difference between those? So you ever heard of be, do, have? No.

Starting point is 00:07:52 Okay. So there's, I didn't make this up, but there's, you need to be, you need to do to have. What I was doing was have, do, and then be. Look at my financial success. It was validating me. So it was, and so it was never enough. It was like trying to fill an empty hole. And now when I have my financial success now and the things that I have, I had to become her first, my most authentic self. I was a victim. It was victimized, but I lived a victim mindset. So I was always in scarcity before. And so I was using things to fill that emptiness inside of me, that hole, which many people do. And so I was using things to fill that emptiness inside of me, that hole, which many people do. And they just don't know why doesn't this feel good.

Starting point is 00:08:30 And they're always looking at what's next, what's next. And they're never satiated that like little dopamine hit. Oh, this feels good, but I'm not going to celebrate my million. I got to keep going. It's like, this is not enough. Now, every moment of my life, it has this fulfilling meaning. I feel fulfilled now. And that's the difference. The thing I was looking for on the yoga mat, I live every day now. But I had to go through a journey of finding out who I was, which means moving back the layers of the trauma, right? If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious when you were married, and I'm asking this because I know a lot of women don't feel confident with finances in their marriage, even if they are contributing to

Starting point is 00:09:12 the income. I know I rely pretty heavily on my husband to pay bills, check accounts, fill me, like he gives me the information, but only the amount that I want. I'm not the one in there looking. Was that the case for you? And how did you find, like, were you afraid to step away from that and do it on your own? Oh yeah. There was lots of fear to step away from that. I, I, um, I actually paid the bills and his money actually was the living money and mine was the fun money. So when we got divorced, I actually didn't have a belief that I could support myself. So I had to really work on that. Like, could I support, financially support my kids? Because the way it was set up before I had no proof of evidence if I could.

Starting point is 00:09:55 So I had tons of fear. It was one of the things that almost, you know, crippled me because I'd handed over that power of being able to know that I could take care of my children. And I do feel that it's finding safety in money, though, not necessarily just what he did or what each of us do. You don't want to hear what he has to say. That's maybe something that's maybe because you don't feel safe knowing it. It's just better to not. But what if you neutralized it and you'd be okay with information and you get to discern what you want to feel about it? I feel like people don't wake up and look at their bank accounts every day or look at their money. And I always say what you watch grows. And if you can have a different relationship with money, that way things would

Starting point is 00:10:43 change. That's what happened to me. I realized like, well, I actually can make this money on my own. It's safe for me to make this money on my own. I didn't know that before because I had taken out that factor from myself. Support for today's episode comes from Honeylove. Honeylove has revolutionized the wireless bra game. I am someone who is running around all day. I'm very active. I do not love a wired bra. I need to not feel my bra and I absolutely love Honeylove. Their bras feature supportive bonding that eliminates the need for uncomfortable wires and unnecessary bulk. You deserve a bra that's lightweight and comfortable without sacrificing support. You can embrace freedom, flexibility,

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Starting point is 00:13:01 refills in compostable pouches, so they're better for our bodies and the earth. No more plastic toothpaste tubes. Bite comes in a super sleek glass bottle and jar that looks amazing on the vanity and it's super easy to travel with as well. Bite is offering our listeners 20% off your first order. Go to trybite.com slash pow or use code pow at checkout to claim this deal. That is t-r-y-B-I-T-E dot com slash pow. How do we begin to establish that confidence? Like how do we build up our own sense of self in order to go and do that? You know, I think sometimes, and this is just my opinion, so is that when I see women who are married, I almost feel like they always have a safety net. They don't, they haven't hit the rock bottom yet where they feel unsafe. So it almost sometimes

Starting point is 00:13:57 holds them back from their greatest potential of what they can create in the world, you know? So I almost feel like you have to create that sense of what would I do if I didn't have it? So you can neutralize the fear because once you face a fear, it just literally goes away. So for me, I thought I was going to hit rock bottom. Like this was 2020 and the world was changing and, you know, at the time, and I'm like, all right, I'm going to lose my house. I mean, this is it. I had to be all in because I don't have a backup plan. That literally helped me regulate my nervous system around what the fear was. I'm like, I'm going to have to go to Lifetime. I'm going to have to go shower there. I'm like, I had all these like little plans. I'm like, that's not even a backup plan, you know?

Starting point is 00:14:35 But because I faced the fear, I think that is what helped me go. I mean, I ended up having a $300,000 a month, like two months later, and then making a million dollars in a year in my first time in business, you know, like for this that I'm doing now. So I feel like facing that fear is like, what is your biggest fear when it comes to money? And most people are like, it's going to run out. But is it? They're printing it right now. And I always say, you know how to make money, right? Yes. And why are you afraid you're going to lose it or it's going to run out? I don't know. And then I have to get to the root because it's never about that. It's about their abandonment wound, being left behind or, you know, being betrayed or something else happening is why there actually

Starting point is 00:15:13 has a fear. It's never about the money. Right. No, it's really interesting you say that. And I feel like I can relate in my rock bottom with my health. You know, I hit rock bottom and had to lose 90 pounds and had nothing to lose and worked the front desk at Orange Theory Fitness. And when you are faced with no options, it's amazing what you can do. But my journey with money from starting my business in 2019 to now and getting more financially successful than I ever, ever dreamed. It's interesting because I feel like in one sense, I have a bad relationship with money. And I think that comes from childhood and the way I was raised. I wasn't taught about money. We didn't talk about it. I didn't have any understanding of it, but I also have

Starting point is 00:16:05 very little attachment to it. I'm not afraid to spend money and I do believe it will come back. So I have this weird juxtaposition of it. Does that make sense? Well, if you break it down, you feel safe with it, but you might not look at it at the same relationship. So I always say when we feel safe with the masculine, we usually feel safe with money because we know that we're protected. So either your father or your husband has brought a safe masculine energy to you. Because I've said for high achieving women, I believe money is masculine, but the way we receive it's feminine. So you have people protecting you. So you feel safe. Many women who don't have that safe, I didn't have that safe masculine. And so I created my own false sense of it. Right. And so there's that step, the emotional

Starting point is 00:16:54 part of it. But then the mindset about it is, you know, rich people are bad or, you know, people with money, there's greed. So that's where that relationship with it, the connection with it, of what it means to you is changed. But you, because we look at money as a protective thing, right? First, put a roof over our head, have our, you know, heat, water, whatnot. So that's safety, right? So you feel safe. So yeah, it can come in and out. But then if you actually had to sit with it on your own, you would, in all your belief systems, you'd have your own individual

Starting point is 00:17:31 thoughts about it. Yeah. I think back to, you know, maybe you had this experience starting your business too, but at the beginning of Bloom, we had to put all of our personal money up in there. And it was all of our personal money up until quite recently, actually. And for some reason, my husband and I were just on the same page with that risk taking. And I get a lot of questions about, well, how did you build the courage to do that? Like, how did you? And I don't quite know the answer. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I had no other choice. But I was not hesitant about putting it all in.

Starting point is 00:18:10 Well, can I share what I think it is? Yeah. I think you had pure conviction in the product and that you just knew it was going to work. Like when you have this conviction of you know that this is a really good thing or whatever, whatever service or product you're selling, nobody can waver you from that. And that, that creates the faith. So of course it's going to work. So you, you already had the decision-making of it. I'm, we were not, we can't quit. We can't go back. Cause I know this works. So I need everybody to, this is why I'm here. I know what I teach works. So,

Starting point is 00:18:49 so when you have conviction, conviction creates courage and then it creates the, you know, the, the, the opportunities out there for you. So you couldn't, you couldn't quit on that. No, you're so right about that. That you put it perfectly. How does childhood trauma or our childhood relationships impact our relationship with money? Everything. Yeah. Everything. I literally can look in someone's business and I can see whether, I believe we have three core wounds, abandonment, betrayal, and unworthiness.

Starting point is 00:19:14 And like I said, many of us have unworthiness. Some of us might have more. And I feel like if you have inconsistent months, let's say, right, there's probably somebody that betrayed you because you don't feel the safety of money coming in and always being there. So it's inconsistent. Here's here. And abandonment could be the same thing.

Starting point is 00:19:32 You either have a bunch of money that comes in, but then all of a sudden a huge loss will show up because you don't feel safe holding onto it. So you're creating the, it's going to leave me anyway thing. So let me create. Because I've seen people have made tons of money and then they're like, well, I've had this major loss. And I'm like, well, you need to just fix this thing because you don't feel safe holding it because you're afraid you're going to lose it. So it does affect us. And when I get to the root of it for most of my clients, it's like the feeling, and I don't like this, but this is how it's the scarcity and it's the victimness

Starting point is 00:20:04 that really comes through. It permeates everywhere. And once we can correct that story, they no longer are in their limited power. They're empowered now, individuals, and then now they can have power over money. It's such a huge shift. I always say with fitness journeys, growth journeys, no one is coming to save you. Like this is on you. And the victim mentality is what holds people back. I really believe that. I know because I was in victim mentality

Starting point is 00:20:33 for a majority of my life. I was looking for people to blame. For the situation I was in. And it took me years to look at myself and be like, oh, that was my fault. Absolutely. And that shift changed everything for me. It's just some self-accountability. So I always say, if you can be accountable for everything in

Starting point is 00:20:51 your life, then you can become very wealthy. Because if we look at abundance, what's the opposite of it? Scarcity. Scarcity, right? And where does scarcity come from? Not being in your power, not feeling like you have control of things. Well, if so-and-so paid me, if this happened, if this didn't happen, those are all stories. What are you going to do about it? And as soon as I can show a woman that she's got the power in herself, everything changes. What would you say is the number one reason people are held back from wealth? Is it victim mentality? Do you see other things too? I feel like that's number one. I really feel like your stories about money and wealth also are really big. I mean, history, you know, it's what you were raised with, you know, what was passed

Starting point is 00:21:36 down to you? What did you really believe? You know, I have met millionaires who say that rich people are bad, you know, like, and yet they're millionaires. Culturally, I feel this is a huge one. Culturally, like I was in London, I was in the UK and they have scarcity about money. Canadians have scarcity about money. It's just like little things like, how much does that cost? Do I have to tip here? You know, it's just a weird thing about how they look at money. It's like, it's going to go away. Or do you know how much this costs? It was like a lot of complaining. I mean, I go to Italy, it's there too, you know, but in Paris they're like, spend all the money, you know, it's very different, right? You know, how, and it's, what do you want to believe about it? And I believe if you can

Starting point is 00:22:18 decide that it's not running out and it's not wasted and it's not going away, then you would live a different way because that's abundance. But scarcity will always bring you back to it's limited, it's running out. And when markets are down, I'm like, this is the time you get to be a multimillionaire. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Take advantage. Exactly. It's funny you say that about London because I grew up in a household, I grew up in the UK, where flashing wealth, my family was not wealthy, we didn't have money to flash, but wealthy people did not flash money. Like you didn't dress in designer, you didn't drive a nice car. It was just a funny culture around it. I'm not sure why that is, but I feel like that is a big reason why I struggle.

Starting point is 00:23:08 I want to use the word embarrassment. Right. It's shame. Yes, it's shame. It's like people will financially, it's like that financial shame. You'll feel guilt. You know, I feel like that's a cultural thing though. And people are, it's embedded.

Starting point is 00:23:24 You know, I have people that come from Asia and they're like, we have to get the best discount deal or else. Like, you know, it's just, they're raised that way, you know? And then some of my clients that are from, you know, Russia or whatnot, they're like, listen, like, we're not going to spend any more than this, you know, or I have to work really hard. These women are in their masculine energy. It's just, this is how all of this cultural stuff.

Starting point is 00:23:44 So you deal with cultural stuff, then you deal with, you know, what your own belief, your parents' beliefs are. I mean, you're fighting against the grain. So I'm like, let's get rid of all of that. Let's be unapologetically rich. Let's go buy whatever we want. Let's go do whatever we want, whatever you want to do and like, go for it, you know? And I feel like that is the new paradigm. That is the new way of doing things. People have all kinds of opinions about money. Well, the rich people don't flash their stuff.

Starting point is 00:24:13 You should do this with your money. And I feel like you do whatever the heck you want with your money. You do whatever you want. You buy whatever you want. You live however you want. The only way that you can do that is to become your authentic self though, because you have to stop caring what people think about you. My question for you is when someone has the amount of money they want, how do you decide? And I think this is a lot to do with what you're saying about finding yourself. How do you decide what's worth it for you to splurge on? Because let me give you

Starting point is 00:24:42 an example. When I first started making more money, I thought, oh, I'm going to do what everyone else does when they get money and I'm going to buy a Birkin bag. And I wasn't planning on sharing this. I honestly am quite embarrassed about it, but I was like, I'll buy a Birkin bag. We need to fix that ASAP. I know, I know. I know I'm troubled. So I got the Birkin bag and I was like, oh my God. Congratulations. So excited, so cute. Never used it, didn't touch it because I was so, I think number one, embarrassed to use it and have people see me with it.

Starting point is 00:25:13 I was terrified of it. I was like, this thing's worth too much money. And it also just wasn't my style. So I think I... I'll take it. Yeah, it was pretty cute. I ended up selling it. I know, I know.

Starting point is 00:25:26 But like, I think I bought something because I felt like that's what you do. Okay, I get that. But now I feel like I know myself so much more. I would rather spend money on a horse. That's like, I know myself now. I love horseback riding. And my whole childhood,

Starting point is 00:25:44 I said I was saving my allowance for a horse. It was my dream. And now I've done it. And that brought me more joy than any bag ever has. Well, that's now the be-do-have, where you were doing the have-do-be before, because that's where your shift in your evolution of what your beliefs are around money, right? You don't need to buy a Birkin bag. You need to buy whatever makes you feel joy. I always say, buy what makes you feel wealthy and whatever your definition of wealth is. The fact that you can own a horsey now is a fact that this is a dream of yours. That's a desire that's met. That's what I think we do with our money. You know, like when you have big desires, you go out there and buy them, but make sure they're coming from a

Starting point is 00:26:24 place of soul self, not goal self, where you think, oh, I need to buy this to show that I'm successful. Because when that happens, it's never ending. Nothing will ever make you feel success. But having your own horsey, what's your horse's name? Bo. Having Bo, it's like, look what I was able to do. You know, that's completing that cycle of a desire as a

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Starting point is 00:29:43 or use code pursuit at checkout caraway non-toxic cookware made modern yeah it is fun to look back and think what did i want as a kid because i feel like it often gives us answers to what we truly want in life for someone listening who maybe is not where they want to be financially, and they want to start taking steps towards that, what would you give them like a play by play of where to begin? Well, first, how much do you want to make? What kind of life do you want? And I always say, go energetic shopping. I know this sounds crazy, but you were saving up for Bo. And what is it

Starting point is 00:30:26 that you... Where do you want the money to go? Because most people just want money, but money doesn't want to just come to you. It needs somewhere to flow to. It's a frequency. It's a currency, right? So I always say, put the highest desires out there. Go as big as you can. I make a little collage on my phone. Instead of having your animals or your kids on there, put something on there that you want to create in this world and create a vision board. So every time you pick up your phone, you're programming your subconscious. This is what the life I have. This is what I'm doing.

Starting point is 00:30:56 And then I would go out taking steps that will create that for you. And then find out what are your biggest money beliefs. Write them all down. Write down everything you believe about money. Then write down every money story you've ever had and find out is there truth in those money stories? Are they really that true? Or are you just believing them because someone told you? Do you want to believe them? Then find out where your core wounds are because this is really, really important to find out. I'm in exercises in one of my programs

Starting point is 00:31:23 where I have people look at a pile of cash on a chair. And when they do that, I always say, who are you looking at? You know, we go through the whole thing. I'm just giving you a little snippet of it. And many times they start crying because it's such an emotional thing to look at the money. And it's either their unhealed relationship with their father or their mother, because a mother is very masculine. If you have a narcissistic mother, you're going to have a very masculine mother. And then they realize that that's why they want the money. This is what they're looking for money to give them that they don't have. They're looking for that safety, that security, that feeling of I'm worthy. And so that's where I would really, really start. And then on that list of the things that you desire, the energetic shopping, anything under

Starting point is 00:32:05 $100, and if you have the money, don't go out and just buy things. But start buying certain things and feel what it feels like to buy something, not just because you need it, but because you desire it. And most people don't know the difference between that. They're like, well, I'll buy the Rolex and I'll buy the Mercedes because they're good investments and they'll justify it that way. It's a need too, because it'll show that I'm successful now. But what if you wanted the G-Wagon for your, you know, like I wanted a G-Wagon, so I bought one, you know? So it's like, I want that because gosh, I'd love it. Every time I drive it, I feel like a wealthy woman. And it's what will make you

Starting point is 00:32:38 super happy, not for anybody else, but for yourself. And then start, so back to the list, go start getting small things on there and see that, you know, you can get your desires met. Show the universe and yourself or whoever you identify with, you know what, I do get to have what I want. And it shifts you. And I mean, we can talk about business, but that's what I would start doing, you know, for you personally, because it would change the game to know what's really in your way, because I think money's all around us. The moment that we can, you know, change an opinion, it opens up. I had someone else who bought a G-Wagon for a whole year, didn't tell anybody about it, kept it in her garage, you know, when people would come over because she had so much shame around it. And so find out where your shame and guilt lies,

Starting point is 00:33:20 you know. I have one little exercise that helped me and I'll tell you really quickly. I love matcha tea. And so I go to the box and I get it. But I quit coffee because back in the day I was drinking too much of it when I was bodybuilding and I started drinking matcha. Well, this gal in LA put four scoops and it was 80 cents. So I was like, I literally scored at, you know, buying its tea. I was drinking it, living my, because I loved discounts and cheapness back then. That was my whole thing.

Starting point is 00:33:47 There's nothing cheap about me now, but that's what I loved back then. And eventually Starbucks cut on and they're like, we need to change this amount. Then it moved up to 275. I would get so angry at the people. Like, how dare you change the price? I saw how triggered I would get.

Starting point is 00:34:02 It happened again. It went up to like three something a couple of years later. Same triggering happened, went up again. And what I realized that there was something in the way that this corporation was changing They're allowed to change their price, but I was triggered like you you're betraying me. How dare you do this to me? well one day back in 2020 I was going there and I said to My kids I mean i'm gonna because everybody got in the car to go out in 2020 And I ordered it and I said, you know what, Shemina, order this in your wealthy woman way. You have the money. It doesn't matter

Starting point is 00:34:30 if it's for something because it went up. So I did. I did the work that I do. I ordered it. I'm like, I have the money. My daughter goes, mom, why don't you buy the people behind us? I said, okay. So I did. Then my son goes, mom, why don't you buy the people? I'm like, you know what? And the people behind us. It was three of them. I've had my little moment, you know, like now I was like, you get one, you get one. And as I sat there, I'm like, I am a wealthy woman. This is who I aspire to be. I mean, I didn't have a ton of money then, but I was already a wealthy woman. As soon as I drove out, hit the light, $10,000 hit my Stripe account. I realized that I had been holding myself back from so much wealth by living in that betrayal wound, by feeling betrayed. And it was obviously my father that

Starting point is 00:35:09 when I was reliving every single time, I felt like a victim. And so find where you're using money, you get triggered. You know, when I used to go to, I don't go to Costco, I don't shop anymore, but when I used to go to Costco, I used to get triggered. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'd pay and pray. You know, what would come up? Because I knew some of that stuff would get wasted, you know? Where do you feel that emotional response when you spend money? It is so telling and it's going to tell you where you're limited. I feel like for me, when I pull up in my car or I have people come to my house, that's where I feel it. And I, it's funny because I've been through this whole weight loss journey and this self-discovery journey, and I've built all this

Starting point is 00:35:50 self-love. And I feel like this is like the one remaining piece where I'm, I still don't feel deserving. Right. Even though I've done all the work. It's like the imposter syndrome comes up. Yes. Majorly. And it's like, because you feel like you got it too easy. Almost. And you didn't suffer enough. Even though I did. But this is the thing. It's like, how much were you supposed to suffer?

Starting point is 00:36:14 We always equate success with hard and suffering. So the easier it gets, the worse it gets for us because that's what we're programmed to do. But you were doing something you loved. Was it really that that hard I guess like when I think of like everything I've done came from the the fitness journey I went on like that was my like I isolated myself for nine months I learned everything I could I basically became a bodybuilder during that time. And that was hard. Like that nine months was really hard, but it was the most transformative time of my life. And then from there, yes, like Greg and I didn't leave the house for like

Starting point is 00:36:56 years because we were working. I got it. What? Sorry, keep going. But I got it. Keep going, keep going, but I got it. Okay. Keep going, keep going. So yes, we worked very hard, but it was enjoyable for me the whole time. Why don't you feel deserving? Hmm.

Starting point is 00:37:29 Of everything. I just think I never thought I was destined for it, and I'm not the person that should have it. What does worthiness mean to you? It means that you earned it. Did you earn it? On paper, yeah. What were you supposed to sacrifice for it? If anything. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:37:56 Yeah. Yeah. It's feeling that you can have everything everything but it's a part of you that needs to fill the hole of loving into you and why you your own relationship with self why a young gal like you is so deserving of it. Because there's a story you've got of unworthiness. Yeah. And that needs to be like unraveled. Yeah. Because that's why you push away all your success or all the things that you want. Yeah. I mean, a lot of what I did was at the beginning was to be like, are you noticing me now?

Starting point is 00:38:45 Can you see me? Hi, I'm in Target now. And still I didn't get what I wanted. What do you want? I don't think I want it as bad now, but I just wanted to be seen by the person who I wanted to see me. Yeah, we'll talk after. I'm being very cryptic right now, but you know what I'm saying. So back to this, this is why most people have a fear of success because the fear

Starting point is 00:39:16 is I'm going to be too much. What if everybody did see me? And so they play small, they create limits. They know they have this bigness in them and this comes with wealth too. But can you go out there and be like, okay, this is exactly who I am. Will you love me for who I am? And this all ties into wealth, success and everything. It's like all connected. So imagine if someone knows they're meant for bigness, they're meant to do great things, but then they have this fear in them. Of course, it'll lock up their money too and the success and opportunities that are coming in. We have to heal the unworthiness wound, which comes into self-esteem. Once you feel you can be so unapologetic about who you are, it doesn't matter all the other things that come in your life.

Starting point is 00:40:10 So good. It really does all come back to the childhood wounds. I feel like everything, food, everything. I had a client who her mom used to hit her hand every time she went in for another cookie and told her, you can't have another one. She carried like, what, 60 pounds with her for her whole life. As soon as we got back to that story, it took me a long time to get to the story. And she's like, yeah, this is what it was. And then her parents got divorced at 15, but they didn't include her in it. I mean, she's like, cause she's like, I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. I'm like, oh, there's a story because you're living it right now. Your physical body is telling you the story. Your money is telling you the story. And then we got to it. She was told that she couldn't have more. She had to be limited. You can't have that. And so she would sneak it. And so she had guilt and shame around the extras. And that's when she would start

Starting point is 00:40:48 overeating. Wow. It's all there. It's all there. Are you someone that recommends saving techniques? Like don't get the coffee every day. No. Don't order Uber Eats. No. I'm the person that says, if that coffee is going to bring sunshine and joy to your life, do not save because the emotions that you're going to feel, because we create our reality with our emotions, the elation and the happiness that you get from paying whatever it is, is going to take you further than that $5 you're putting in your pocket or whatever the amount is. Now, with that said, you should run your business to a point where if there is up and downs or whatever you're doing,

Starting point is 00:41:32 you have eight months or you have money to pay your team. You have to be able to keep the money in there. But I feel like investments are important. I don't feel like we can waste money, but I also feel like cut out the things that aren't, that aren't, you aren't using. Like, you know, go and do an energetic cleanup. Where are the money leaks in your life and business? Do you have tolls that you need to be paid? Do you owe somebody money? You know, are you, are you, are you paying for cable and you don't even watch cable anymore?

Starting point is 00:41:59 Like you have a gym member, you should be using a gym membership, but if you're not using gym membership, go take care of it. You know, but these are the things where clean them up because what they do is they weigh on our subconscious. And they're like, oh, I owe this. I should be paying this bill. Clean something up right away and then start loving your bills when you open them. Like so grateful for having them. I know that sounds crazy. Wake up, look at your bank account, look at your Stripe account, look at your money accounts. Be a big person, a grownup instead of running from it.

Starting point is 00:42:25 You know, like that's where the problem is, is that people don't want to be responsible for their finances. But if you're not, who is? Yeah. It's pretty frightening. Like I remember in college, I had a really small allowance. I had a debit card because my family didn't believe in the UK credit is bad. So I never had a really small allowance. I had a debit card because my family didn't believe, in the UK, credit is bad. So I never had a credit card until I left college. So I had this debit card and I would constantly go over, over, over, over. My dad would get so angry with me.

Starting point is 00:42:58 It's funny, I'm thinking about this now and that's probably why I'm afraid. I avoid financial conversations, truthfully, because I am afraid I'm getting in trouble. Right. That's a huge thing for most people is I'm going to get in trouble. No way. Yeah. And when I find out where the trouble is, it's not just with money,

Starting point is 00:43:15 it's everything. I'm going to get in trouble. Yeah. It's that good girl mentality. I need to be a good girl. I need to be proper. I need to do the right thing. And so that's why most people don't go out of line and they fear. They sit in their fear. Yeah. I'm kind of realizing where my

Starting point is 00:43:29 fear comes from. And even if my husband's like, I just want to go through with you and chat, you're not in trouble. It just is innate in me to feel afraid. So interesting. And honestly, he has a very different, his family talks about finances, business all the time. And they are kind of where I learned that it's okay to talk about it. He has a very different relationship with money. He's very confident showing up the way he is. He's confident in wealth. He loves money.

Starting point is 00:43:59 He wants it. He's open about that. Good. I love that. Yeah. No, you got to meet him. He's upstairs. We all should have that. I know. I'm jealous. We all get to be unapologetically rich and wealthy.

Starting point is 00:44:10 Yeah. I mean, it's there. Why would you not come into this lifetime and not enjoy as much riches as you possibly can? You're deserving of it. You know, just let's get all the other things out of the way to allow it. Men talk about money all the time, but for women, it's sort of taboo. You know, we're not supposed to talk about it. We're supposed to be proper. And for me, I'm like, no, this is, I bought this. I have my Rolex and my car check. I love stuff.

Starting point is 00:44:35 I took my kids first class to Europe. You know, we went to five-star hotels. I got drivers. We rented a yacht in the Amalfi Coast, went to Capri. I lived it up because I can. Do they know, like, do you talk to them about why they're experiencing it? 100%. My kids, I've broken that generational thing. Like scarcity ended with me. And you know what? This summertime before we went to Europe, my daughter went and got a job on her own.

Starting point is 00:45:00 She went and she's like, mom, I want to work and make my own money. So people are like, aren't you going to spoil your kids? Because they always fly first class and dah, dah. I'm like, no, I show them there's no limits in life. I showed them that that's available. I've neutralized money with them. They know that it's there. They just have to do whatever it takes to go out there and get it for themselves. My daughter would wake up at 6.30. She was 17, 16 at the time. She turned 17. Go makes her own money. And they said, mom, we've got to work because you showed us a lifestyle that we want. And that's what I want for them, is that they have the most amazing relationship

Starting point is 00:45:31 with money. You know, Elena Cardone and Grant Cardone, I saw your interview with her. Amazing. I think I heard her say, like, I've heard the kids speak before and they're very eloquent. They clearly understand what's happening. I've heard them say that when they know that when they leave the house, they'll no longer be flying private. That's an interesting thing. Like, I wonder what that shift is going to be like. Well, my daughter is right now in Tennessee. I flew her there first class to go see her boyfriend. She'll come back and do the same thing first. But I feel like that's become their

Starting point is 00:46:11 standard. So if they fly private, they're going to aspire for that, right? My daughter said, I don't mind if I have to live not in a big house like we have now and live differently. She goes, I have to grow and make my own. But she already feels wealthy. That's the ticket because money doesn't change you. So she already has a wealthy mindset, a wealthy belief system, and she knows it's there for her. So all she has to do is go and be open to receiving it. What would you say to someone listening right now who is working a job they don't like?

Starting point is 00:46:40 They're not sure what their purpose in life is. They're not financially where they want to be. What should they do? What's the first step? Go find a new job because working somewhere and being in a relationship somewhere, they're all toxic because you're just not in alignment with yourself. You're just doing something because you think you have to. And I understand you've got to pay bills, but most people stay stuck because they don't think there's another option. So first things first is go find another job. And I know it sounds easy to say, but there's a lot of jobs out there right now. So go find another job or start your own business. And as far as the bills, find the ones that are weighing on you heavily. Even if you can't pay them all off right now, start paying a little

Starting point is 00:47:20 bit off. And if you owe somebody money, start paying a little bit off. It will shift your trajectory of how you see your finances and how you are. What was the last question you asked? What was the other part of that? Just the first step to take in finding their purpose. In their purpose. Yeah. So my thing is, what would you get paid for? And everybody said this, what would you do that you would do for free that you don't have to get paid for? That to me, like this is my life. I get paid to paid to do this, you know. Find something that makes you feel fulfilled because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you do and what you buy. If you don't have that fulfillment inside of you, you will always feel like something's missing, right? So for me, I think start today.

Starting point is 00:48:03 Many people are like, how did you go from being a lawyer? You can pivot. You didn't come in this lifetime and there's like any law that you wrote that you have to be this person forever. So I would say start doing something that you love. And if your mom told you you couldn't make money doing photography or hair and you went and did other things. My brother's a doctor and I'm a lawyer, so we went on our track. But there are other things. If you want to write the book, go write the book.

Starting point is 00:48:27 If you want to start your podcast, go do those things. But I feel like staying where you are and not doing something is probably the worst thing you could possibly do. And I feel like now is the time where you can do anything with social media. You could literally monetize your knitting business or whatever you want to do. Literally. Like you can do whatever. It's so funny you said that because I said to a client, I'm like whatever you want to do. Literally. Like you can do whatever. I sort of said to someone, it's so funny you said that because I said to a client, I'm like,

Starting point is 00:48:48 you like to knit? I'm like, I don't know how to knit, but I want to put a scarf together. Go show me the step-by-step, put in a PDF and then literally put it on for sale in your social media. Just start doing videos of you knitting, do the scarves, make some funny videos. You can make money doing it. We are in a time where you can make money doing anything that you love. A PDF is how I started my whole business. No way. A $5 PDF. That's it. I think PDFs are it. If you want to get started, there's no overhead. You don't have to hire anyone. No overhead.

Starting point is 00:49:18 Just put your expertise in a PDF. Right. And people want something they consume within 10 to 15 minutes. Because if you give them a win within 10 to 15 minutes, then they're going to come back and buy something else from you. So they don't want to watch a long training or something that's got a lot of work to it. They want a quick win. So put something together that's going to give them a quick win and put it out there. Just go do it. I have a super random question.

Starting point is 00:49:40 Yeah. And just tell me if you don't want to answer it. What do you think of sugar daddies? So this is what I believe, is that I believe even though we're successful women, we can have men that come in that take care of us too. I think that it's, and I wouldn't name him a sugar daddy, but I would say one thing that really stops women from becoming their most feminine connected self is that we don't know how to receive. And we have a hard time receiving. And when we learn to have a man that comes in that wants to take care of us, we will be in our ultimate feminine state.

Starting point is 00:50:16 And I think that's what we're supposed to be in, you know, is the woman receiving. So I think a man should be paying for everything. I think a man should be, you know, opening the door. I think a man should be buying me whatever he wants. And that might not be what everybody thinks out there, but that's what men want to do. A true masculine man wants to provide and women take that from them. They emasculate their men's all the time. The first thing I say is stop telling your man what to do. Stop telling your man how to spend his money.

Starting point is 00:50:41 Stop telling your man where to take you. Ask them, invite them into a conversation. Money and men are like the same thing. So if you want more money, you've got to become more feminine. You've got to stop chasing the money and stop telling the man what to do. It is so connected. You get to be powerful still. You get to be a powerful woman, but they don't know how to receive because they want to be control freaks because that goes back to the trauma. Yeah, for sure. And not allowing to be supported. I see women in their business right now, they don't have support teams. They do everything themselves because, you know, so it goes all the way back. Yeah, so sugar daddies, however you want to call them. I'm

Starting point is 00:51:15 still looking for my man out there. Well, he's still looking for me. I'm here, but- But you're kind of a sugar mommy, so. Yeah, but I would never, I did, a lot of guys, like I am 52 years old. And so I have tons of young guys that come to me. I'm like, baby, I could be your mama, you know? Well, you look super young. That's probably why. But it's like, I, and one of my girlfriends said, one of them texted me the other day and she goes, he can't even afford this texting conversation.

Starting point is 00:51:37 Like what's going on here? So yeah, I actually do think that if you want to have a guy coming in and take care of you, but I do feel find your own success first. I feel like as a woman, don't cheat yourself out of that. You can have a man pay for everything, but I think you would be doing yourself such a great disservice if you didn't know what your capacity and capabilities are, what you can contribute and create a legacy in the world. Yeah. I guess the same would apply to anyone who wants to be a stay-at-home wife. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:07 Which is becoming kind of a movement on TikTok. Everyone's like, wait, I want to be a stay-at-home wife. I was one for a minute. And as a woman who has so much potential, I love my children. My children, I'm a single mom. I raised them myself. I did everything. I would say that you'll get to a point where you'll miss out who you are. You'll have that yoga mat moment where you're like, who the hell is Shamina anymore? Like, what have I

Starting point is 00:52:34 done? Just make sure there's a balance and you're always checking in with yourself that you are where you want to be. Yeah. This is the question I ask every guest. I keep forgetting to ask it. Everyone's mad at me. What does wellness mean to you? Wellness. Wellness is not negotiating things in my life. Wellness is getting good sleep. Wellness is my mental health. Wellness is my skincare. Wellness is my wealth. Wellness is the love that I have for myself and for my children. It's the food that I put in my body. It's how I treat the shrine. That's to me as wellness. And just my mental health, really, I feel, I told you I'm 52. I feel the reason, everybody asks me the number one reason why I look young. I feel like I'm aging backwards because I got all the garbage

Starting point is 00:53:20 out of me that was aging me. And I'm actually aging at an appropriate state. My cells are increasing. So to me, that's the number one thing because you can have a fit looking body, but if your insides are not well, then you're not well. Well, thank you so much for this beautiful conversation. Amazing advice. Can you share where everyone can find your book? Where can they listen to more? I know you have a podcast. I do. My book, Unlocking the Quantum Woman, you can go grab it on Amazon. It's doing amazing. It was number one in women in business. It was a bestseller. We have tons of five-star reviews. I think we're at 151 or 152 right now. And we have a podcast called Unapologetically Rich. I go really deep in there. You will love it. Go listen. They're short because I know you guys

Starting point is 00:54:03 don't like to listen to long ones, so you can binge it. And come find me on Instagram. And we have a Facebook group called The Quantum Woman. I don't know when this is airing, but we have an event in Chicago. It's called the Wealth Consciousness Event, the Quantum Leap Edition on October 25th and 26th. Come have a two-day transformation. You will quantum leap into your future self. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Thanks for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes,

Starting point is 00:54:34 click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marilowelland.com. It will be linked in the show notes. This is a Wellness Lab production produced by Drake Peterson, Fiona Attucks, and Kelly Kyle. This show is edited by Mike Fry and our video is recorded by Louise Vargas. You can also watch the full video of each episode

Starting point is 00:54:55 on our YouTube channel at Mari Fitness. Love you, Power Girls and Power Boys. See you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice See you next time.

Pursuit of Wellness - How to Manifest Wealth and Break Limiting Money Beliefs w/ Shamina Taylor

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