Pursuit of Wellness - How To Manifest Your Dream Life w/ Roxie Nafousi

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

Ep. #72 In this episode, Roxie Nafousi, author and manifestation advocate, shares her journey from battling depression and addiction to discovering the power of manifesting and self-worth. Roxie discusses hitting rock bottom, the transformative role of yoga, and introduces her 7-step guide to living your best life. Roxie also explores the impact of motherhood on her healing, how to manifest multiple goals, and maintaining a positive mindset. She concludes with her personal take on wellness, emphasizing self-love and respect. Join us for an episode filled with actionable insights on personal transformation and living intentionally. Leave Me a Message - click here! For Mari’s Instagram click here! For Pursuit of Wellness Podcast’s Instagram click here! For Mari’s Newsletter click here! For Roxie Nafousi Instagram click here! Show Links: Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life Transform Podcast Sponsored By: Visit Carawayhome.com/PURSUIT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for 10% off your next purchase. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code POW, you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers! Vivobarefoot are offering 100-day trial on their footwear. You can purchase yours today with code POW for an exclusive 15% discount for our listeners. Topics Discussed: 02:45 - Introduction to Roxie Nafousi 03:44 - Lack of an emotionally safe environment, depression, low self-esteem, and drug addiction 06:17 - Yoga and hitting rock bottom 08:29 - Manifesting and self-worth 9:42 - You have to grow through what you’re going through 10:45 - manifesting out of self worth, taking responsibility 15:34 - Roxie’s 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life 16:59 - Step One: Be Clear in Your Vision 20:09 - Step Two: Remove Fear and Doubt 25:38 - Affirmations are a powerful tool 33:53 - Step Three: Aligning Your Behaviour 37:43 - Step Four: Overcome Tests From the Universe 41:11- Step Five: Embrace Gratitude Without Caveats 45:15 - Step Six: Turn Envy Into Inspiration 48:49 - Step Seven: Trust in the Universe 51:12 - Motherhood’s affect on Roxie’s healing journey 53:46 - Manifesting multiple goals at once 56:40 - Focusing your vision board 57:44 - Maintaining the Manifest mindset   01:00:53 - What Wellness means to Roxie

These seven steps really do break down manifesting into a way which is extremely practical, accessible. Once you've heard them and anybody that's listening, you'll realize there is no way that they can't work to change your life. This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. Hi guys, welcome back to the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Today we are talking all things

manifesting. Now before I lose you, this is not a woo-woo conversation and I will be completely honest, I kind of expected it to be. But what I love is that I'm someone who could dabble with spirituality here and there, but I also love science and I believe in working hard for your goals and I was super surprised when I sat down with Roxy Nafusi to hear that she is realistic and to the point when it comes to manifesting it was an approach that was new for me and one that I could really resonate with and I think you guys will too you guys have probably seen Roxy on the internet. She is a renowned self-development coach, inspirational speaker, and manifesting expert. She's a two-time Sunday Times best-selling

author, hailed as the manifesting queen by Forbes and the Financial Times. She brings a unique approach to self-development across the world. She hosts corporate workshops for the world's largest companies, as well as hosting her own sellout workshops and webinars. She is committed to transforming the lives of people who suffer with emotional and mental health issues and helping them to fulfill their potential and live their best life. So in today's conversation we're talking about Roxy's struggles with addiction and her personal rock bottom, how to stop manifesting a negative reality, how to be clear on the vision you want for your life, how to remove fear and doubt, the seven steps to manifesting your dream life, the best

gratitude practice you can do and so much more. Since this conversation with Roxy, I have been so inspired. I've started reading her book and doing the daily gratitude practice we discussed in this episode. And I've already seen such an amazing difference in the way I'm showing up every single day. Without further ado, let's hop in. And just a reminder to subscribe, follow, and review. It really helps me so, so much. And really, really exciting guys. We are number three on the health and fitness charts. I'm the only woman in the top 10, which is absolutely insane. And it's thanks to you guys supporting and listening. I really, really appreciate it. I couldn't be more thrilled with the community we're building

here at the pursuit of wellness. Let's talk to Ro roxy the queen of manifesting welcome to the show thank you i'm so excited i was saying to you i wanted this so much i was like i really want to go on this podcast so i'm so honored that you're having me you manifested being here and i'm so flattered that you wanted to come on the show i still think i'm talking to no one when I'm on this microphone. I really need to like wrap my head around what's happening. And I'm honored to have you on. I've been seeing you everywhere. And I was telling you seeing people from the UK crush it in the wellness industry just makes me so freaking happy. I also feel like manifesting has been quote unquote trending lately. And I what I love about you is that you bring the science and like facts to manifesting. It's not just like, think it and then it will happen. You talk about the

hard work that goes into it. So I can't wait to delve in. I'd love to start by talking about how you came to this place of positivity and living so intentionally because I know it wasn't always your reality yeah so basically I mean not to give you my whole life story please do please do but growing up you know I am an Iraqi that was growing up in Oxford had always felt like very much an outsider from my earliest years and there was a lot going on at home there wasn't you, I don't want to delve too much into that. But there was definitely never an emotionally safe environment for me. I didn't have any tools to learn to be happy. I didn't see happiness around me. And so I think that contributed to me kind of developing this extremely low self-worth from a really young age. And so I can never remember feeling confident or feeling like I liked myself. Quite the contrary, I loathed who I

was. I felt really embarrassed of my culture. I felt embarrassed of how I looked. I felt embarrassed of just who I was as a person. And looking back, I definitely suffered from depression for my whole life. But at the time, you know, mental health still had a massive stigma. So if you'd said to me then, you know, you're suffering from depression, I think I would have been mortified. But it's really clear to me now that's what was going on. When I turned 18, and I kind of left school, I went straight to university, I discovered cocaine. And, you know, for me, I would have a line of cocaine. And then all of a sudden, I would have this false confidence. And that for me became extremely addictive. So by the time I was 21, I was in Narcotics Anonymous. I'd already gone straight into this kind of really heavy drug

taking that was completely spiraling out of control. But I didn't actually end up giving up until 28. So you can imagine that from 21 to 28, I'm in this kind of spiral of knowing I have a problem and being in and out of addiction. You know, when you have addiction, you're always trying to give up or find ways to, you know, overcome this thing. But actually, it's very, very hard to do. And I wasn't able to. And alongside this addiction, I had, you know, no sense of worth. I had no career, no prospects. I had no purpose.

I was very unmotivated. I was very lonely. And it was just a really dark time. And this kind of culminated in April 2018. So one thing that I had had as a consistent throughout my 20s was yoga. So I started Iyengar yoga when I was 21, because I had a really bad back. And I remember that yoga mat really did become like my safe space so I would always like get on the mat and cry and it was this consistency that I had and throughout my 20s you know obviously like I said there were lots of times where I was like I want to try and change and try to give up and one one of these times, I thought to myself, why don't I go and do a yoga training course, yoga teacher training course, sorry. And this could be the catalyst for me to really give up. So in April 2018, I go on a yoga

teacher training course. And, you know, there's 200 hours of yoga, I have no access to drugs, I'm meditating, I'm away from all my vices. And I thought this is going to be what changes me. And then I fly home. And on the day that I land, a friend of mine calls me and she says, Oh, do you want to come to this dinner tonight? There's this art gallery opening. And I was like, Yeah, sure. Sounds fun. And she goes, Okay, meet me at my hotel. So I go to her hotel, and it's about four o'clock. And as soon as I arrive, she racks up and she goes okay meet me at my hotel so I go to her hotel and it's about four o'clock and as soon as I arrive she racks up and she says do you want a line and I went oh yeah fuck it and I ended up getting high going to this party with her going to an after party going to another one

going home on my own the next day and carrying on on my own, going to lunch with a friend who obviously was sober. She was a normal person. I then go to the hairdressers. I'm still just like there getting high, go out again that night, go home with someone. And then 48 hours later, I hit rock bottom. And I was so full of shame and regret and this feeling of hopelessness. And I thought, well, if that's not going to change me, if that 200 hours of yoga isn't going to change me, what will? And so I

called a friend of mine, Sophia. And Sophia is, she is quite, she is spiritual. And she is definitely into like things that are woo, I would say. So I called her and she was like, babe, don't worry about it. She was like, I've just listened to a podcast on manifesting, you should listen. I thought, fuck it, I'll try anything. So I listened to this podcast on manifesting and something in it just clicked. And I think what clicked was that I realized that this was a practice about self worthworth and I had none. So perhaps I was manifesting, but in the wrong direction. I was keeping myself stuck. And two weeks later, on the 7th of June 2018, a man named Wade messaged me on a dating app.

And a year to the day on the 7th of June 2019 our baby boy wolf was born wow do you feel like that rock bottom moment had to happen for you to get here now oh 100% I mean I it's funny because now and I talk about it in my second book manifest in action which is that I think that I call the section like rock bottoms and leveling up. I think that every time we hit a rock bottom, or perhaps even that we're just going through a really challenging time, or, you know, a time of hardship or rejection, or we're kind of trying to overcome these obstacles. On the other side of that, there is always reward because you have to grow through what you're going through. And I think that it's like when somebody is going through heartbreak, I'm always like,

honestly, congratulations, because you are about to become the best version of yourself that has ever existed because there's no nothing more healing than heartbreak. I agree 100%. And I feel like when I look back on my rock bottom, which by the way, I relate to a lot of what you said, I had extremely low self-worth majority of my life and alcohol, food, like I always found a new vice for it until I hit the rock bottom. I'm so grateful that I hit that rock bottom because you start from nothing.

It's like, what do you have to lose when you literally have nothing? And I feel like it's almost a blessing because I watch people who don't have a rock bottom and they kind of coast at this sort of like, ah, I don't love my life, but it's not that bad. Yeah, yeah. And they never have that moment of,

it's not an epiphany because they don't get to experience that. Yeah. For anyone who's listening and they're like, wow, I feel like I'm manifesting a negative reality for myself. How do you work your way out of that? Like, can you manifest when you do have low self-worth?

Like, how do you reverse that? Yeah, you definitely can. I think it's just about starting that journey. And I think, you know, part of manifesting is about taking responsibility and actually taking yourself away from victim mentality. And I was definitely in victim mentality and I was definitely in victim mentality I was always like typical this would happen to me poor me like you don't understand how unfair my life is you don't understand how bad I feel about myself and I think firstly it's quite it takes quite a lot of courage to admit that you're in victim mentality that is a hard thing to do because it's embarrassing it is because then you think oh you know you're in victim mentality, that is a hard thing to do.

Because it's embarrassing. It is. Because then you think, oh, you know, there's shame attached to that. But actually, when you can say, you know what, I have been acting,

taking, being the victim and it's time that I take control of my life. It's time that I use the power within me to create a different reality. That is gold. You you know that is so empowering and in its in its essence that's what manifesting is about and it's making that decision to kind of go on that journey a shoe i have been loving lately is the Primus light knit women's shoe from Vivo Barefoot. They are flexible and beautiful.

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take the steps to start like what were the baby steps you took what's the first step of manifesting because I think a lot of us see even myself I see the word manifesting everywhere and I kind of assumed it was this little bit woo spiritual concept but you kind of came in and told me like I'm actually not that spiritual yeah and now that you're explaining it to me it feels like oh maybe I've been manifesting this whole time too but what is the actual process of manifesting okay so I created this unique seven step guide to manifesting and the way that I created it was because I had researched everything that I could not just on manifestation, but actually on self development and healing as a whole. And what I found was that everybody, all these great thinkers

and philosophers and speakers and healers, they were all talking about this practice, even if they weren't using the term. And so I kind of culminated everything that I knew. And almost instinctively, I mean, I remember I came up with these seven steps on my phone in my notes in like the space of honestly five minutes. So I feel in some way and this might sound spiritual of me to say, but it was channeled because it just seemed to make sense. And so these seven steps really do break down manifesting into a way which is extremely practical, accessible. And I think, and I'll go through them with you. But once you're once you've heard them, and anybody that's listening, you'll realize there is no way that they can't work to change your life. Because it's so obvious in a way, it's so obvious that if you did these seven things, and you follow these seven

steps, that you would make a change. I always say to people, I would challenge anyone to read that orange book and not see a positive change in their lives. Wow. I'm going to read the orange book in my van trip for three days. I'm so excited. I can't wait. And I went through the seven steps. Can you talk us through them a little bit? Yes. Okay, so step one is be clear in your vision. Essentially, you can't get to where you want to go unless you know where it is you are headed. So this very first step of manifesting

is all about clarity of what you want your life to become, what you want to attract into your life, but also most importantly, who do you want to become? And I think this is a really important question because for some people, and it will definitely for some people listening, you might be thinking, okay, well, I'm fucked at the first step because I don't know what I want.

Yeah. I don't know what I want from life. But actually, we all know how we want to feel and who we want to become. Most of us know we want to feel more confident, more energized, more motivated, more at peace, and happier. And so that can be a starting point but when you can I then encourage people to get more specific with their goals and this is really important from a kind of neuroscientific point of view because the subconscious parts of our brain account for

95% of our brain's activity and the subconscious parts of our brain are always working for us you know and in two parts. And I'll go a bit more into another part when we get to step two. But when we have really clear and specific goals and we visualize them regularly or we do something like make a vision board so we're able to be like crystal clear on what we want, the subconscious parts of our brain will prime itself towards reaching those goals. So it will filter out unwanted information and it will seek out opportunities that are aligned with that goal. So that really starts to work for us. And so one of the kind of key practices that I still do daily as someone who is, you know, really attuned to my manifesting practice is I will always fall asleep doing

a visualization meditation. Okay, how does that work? Is it someone speaking and then you're just falling asleep and they're talking you through it? Yeah, exactly. So there's tons of them on YouTube. Oh, I've even got some on my website. But find a voice that you like to listen to. You know, some voices can irritate you. Don't go with that one.

Yours is great. Oh, thank you. So find a voice that you like and you can just type into YouTube, you know, like visualization meditation guided, you know, choose a 10 or 15 minute one. And you plug in your visualization. Exactly. So you just think about something that you want to manifest. But I don't always have to use a guided one. Now I can just go into, you know, I can just do some deep breathing,

get myself into a relaxed state. And then just think really clearly about something that I want a goal that I have. It's honestly, sometimes I feel like it's sinking into this like beautiful fantasy. And there's something in it just in that that feels really good. It reminds me of being a kid and having like playing an imagination game, which I spent my whole childhood doing. So I feel like I can kind of tap into that fantasy world. Absolutely. So that's kind of step one. tap into that fantasy world. Absolutely. So that's kind of step one. So it's just about that clarity.

But I would say that when, you know, with manifesting being a trend, one of the problems is that people think that that is the kind of the first and last step. That is just about visualize what you want, wait for it to happen. And it's not possible. I mean, you cannot think your way to success or happiness, you have to do the work. So step two is remove fear and doubt. And this is the most important step of manifesting. And it's what makes manifesting a self development process. So step two is, well, let me explain what fear and doubt is. Fear and doubt is just a culmination of our low self worth, limiting beliefs, insecurities, and we have all accumulated these for decades.

And I think that starting to undo them is an ongoing journey. And I remember, I don't know if you ever had this, but when I first kind of discovered this whole self-development thing and this whole healing thing people used to say to me um it's a lifelong journey and I'd be like what's the fucking point like what do you mean it's lifelong literally and I had that epiphany recently and I was like oh this never ends great exactly but what I will say and what I realize now is that you know what it is a lifelong journey but every six months you kind of blossom into this or bloom into this like new version of yourself you know it's absolutely astounding and every time you do that and you understand something about your patterns or your behaviors or your wounds, you unlock this new level of confidence, which

helps you to attract even more abundance into your life. So it is a journey absolutely worth going on. Now, to remove fear and doubt, we need to essentially change our belief systems, we need to change what we believe about ourselves. And this is so important, because our belief systems are essentially the lens through which we view the whole world. Our whole experience is determined by what we believe about ourselves in the world that we live in. And so I sometimes give this example that, you know, I ask you to imagine that there are two people and these two people have opposing beliefs. So one of these people has a belief that they are really likable,

you know, they're naturally magnetic, they're good in social situations, and that's the belief that they've always had. And then another person has a belief that they're unlikable, they're no good in social situations, that people feel uncomfortable around them, or they're not good at making friends. If those two people have the exact same conversation with somebody else, like literally exactly the same, those two people are going to walk away from that experience and have completely different opinions and feelings about how that went. So the person that has a belief that they are likable will think, yep, that was good. They probably won't even think too much of it. They'll be like, that was nice. And they go off and they carry on with their day. The person that has a different belief system,

let's say that they are unlikable, they will misread the social cues from that person. They might misread that person's, you know, body language, they might misread their tone, and they might actually then react in a way that creates this self-fulfilling prophecy. So they become unlikable by reacting in maybe a defensive way or being dismissive or, you know, mirroring what they're believing in themselves or projecting, sorry. So, you know, from that example, what you can see is that, of course, what you believe changes your whole reality. Oh my gosh, that's such a good reference. And I can even think like,

just the way I grew up, and I sounds like you as well coming out of my childhood, I did have really low self worth. And I did have limiting beliefs about myself. And even just comparing my experience with like, my best friend fees, she doesn't think twice about certain social interactions. But I have to really catch myself because I will go down a spiral of oh my god did you see the way they looked at me oh my god i said the wrong thing like it just is funny to me how true that is and i see it in daily life it is it's so funny i do this thing i don't know if you do it but i caught myself because i think one of the things about going into this work is you become so self-aware but i whenever i get a DM bear in mind like because I you know if you've written a self-development book you have you are blessed that loads of people will send you messages about

their experience with it which I'm so grateful for every time I see a DM request in my head I'm always expecting to open it and they're going to abuse me. And it has probably happened five times in the last three years. And yet I still have to catch myself that I'm still preparing or expecting that somebody's not going to like me. But I love that you share that because I feel like the public perception of you is that you're healed and that you're on the other side and you never experience things like that. But I love that you share that it's still a daily practice. Oh, my God, 100%. I mean, I was just saying to my team this morning on the way here, I was like, guys, you know, we're at the end of January 2024. I was like, this is the first month, I haven't had an anxiety attack, a panic attack. I haven't gone

into a spiral of self loathing. You know, I'm so proud of that. I'm so happy about that. But it's also, that's also quite recent. But not to say that, like I said, every six months, I've had a new epiphany, I felt better, I felt more confident, you know, but I'm still on the journey and still still discovering things about myself. But yeah, so removing fear and doubt is this ongoing journey. And there are kind of two parts of it. One part is that there are things that you can do daily to change your belief systems. So we have this thing called neuroplasticity, which is our brain's ability to form new neural pathways through repeated thought and action. So things like affirmations are a really powerful tool that we can actually use to help change what we believe. So an affirmation is just a

positive affirming statement, like I am enough, I am strong, I am capable. And there are actually experiments that show that what we say to ourselves really does affect not only how we feel, but even our physiology. So there was this experiment where they asked two participant groups to carry different weights. And they asked one group to just carry them and then the other group to carry them while saying and repeating i am strong i am strong and that that group did carry considerably more heavy weights now the really important thing to know here is that our subconscious can't differentiate truth from a lie so everything that you say to yourself it will believe to be true and it will try to find evidence to support that belief system negative or positive exactly so if you are going around saying

i'm having the worst day everything goes wrong good things don't happen for me your subconscious will try to find everything possible to support that belief system because it's like well this is true we have to support that but if you are able to start changing the language you use and even use affirmations to do that and you start saying today is an incredible day i'm excited for what's coming good things are meant for me then your subconscious is like okay let's find evidence for that and so it starts to see see different things it starts to view things differently um so it becomes almost this self-fulfilling prophecy and affirmations are great for people that are starting on this journey and they don't naturally speak to themselves in this positive way because it's just

a kind of like it's ready for you you know if you write down five on your phone in the morning you know to have throughout the day or you have you know let's say you had a deck of affirmation cards and you picked one and that's your affirmation for the day or you know you can have them as this ready tool to use so that when you start to spiral and again this is why you have to have that self-awareness to watch the way that you're thinking when you start to spiral you can pause remember you can't have two thoughts at the same time so you can stop it in its tracks I am enough I've always been enough you know I'm proud of how far I have come I just they're such powerful tools um and it's okay if you feel silly saying them at the beginning most people cringe I did oh my gosh I've tried it a few times and I have had cringe

moments but I feel like the gym example you gave the weights, even when I'm working out and I'm hitting a really hard point, I can tell the difference when I'm telling myself, oh, this is so hard. Like, I really don't want to keep going. I give up sooner. Whereas if my self-talk is you got this, Mari, keep going. You're strong. I can do like 10 more reps.

Yes. It's so valid. It's exactly it. I always say like, why not start the day with affirmation so as soon as you open your eyes before you check your phone because those waking moments and the moments when we fall asleep are when our subconscious is most susceptible to positive um self-talk or anything so if you wake up and your first thing the first first thing that you do is, I'm so excited for what's coming. I am ready for abundance. I am magnetic. I have limitless potential. If those of you are

able to say that to yourself immediately upon waking, you are going to change the outcome of your day. So it's just a really easy tool for people to use. And if you change the outcome of your day, and that adds up, you change the outcome of your life. Exactly. It's the same with habits. You know, it's the things you do daily. So the other part of Remove Fear and Doubt, and look, in the book, there's loads of different tools for people to, you know, reframe their thinking, change the way they talk to themselves. But the other part of this is going deeper,

you know, with the help of healers, psychologists, therapists, counselors. And, you know, I always do kind of have to say that because I think there's only so much you can do on your own, especially if somebody that's listening has had, you know, suffered from trauma. I mean, we've all suffered from trauma, but to various extents, but having that additional support, I think we can't really liberate ourselves until we actually face our past and heal our wounds. And I think, again, that was something that I didn't get before. I thought, what is the point in looking backwards? Like, I just want to focus on moving forwards. But it's actually not possible until we process what's happened and why we behave the way that

we do, why we are the way that we are can't free and free ourselves from the control it still has over us did you know americans spend an average of 90 of their time indoors and take about 20 000 breaths a day the indoor air we breathe is two to five times more polluted than outdoor air and in some cases up to a hundred times more polluted according to the epa that's crazy guys and something that i think about a lot when i'm in my house and that's why greg and i got an air doctor put in our bedroom and we are obsessed it really is like the perfect subtle way of making sure you're intaking clean air which is something that not enough of us think about it's an air purifier that captured the attention of established media outlets such as cnn money abc and more the air doctor it filters out 99.9 of dangerous

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you will also receive a free three-year warranty on any unit, which is an additional $84 value. Lock this special offer in by going to airdoctorpro.com o r p r o.com and use promo code pow pow out of curiosity what does your family think of what you do now do they understand it are they on board yeah i mean my dad is so interesting. He is like void of emotion. So he just, he just has never had any, it's just not who he is. But he's exceptionally intelligent. You know, he's been talking to me about quantum physics since I was like five. Anyway, I always say that my dad's quite fickle, because he was not my biggest fan. And I don't

blame him. You know, I was an addict. I wasn't doing much with my life. Now I'm successful. I am number one favorite of the four kids. And there is no denying it. It's giving Kris Jenner. He's like, oh, you're so, he can't, he says he even goes to the bank and like talks about me in my books. He watches every,

if there's a new interview for him to watch, like he will be watching this. So he's watching right now. He is watching. she's killing it oh my gosh that's so cute it's so funny um but yeah you know some of my one of my sisters very into it another one isn't into it at all and has never i mean don't think that any of them have ever read my book but that's fine listen i can relate look it's the people closest to you that are the hardest literally you're not cool you've been ever cool so I know it's humbling it's humbling it is it is um but I actually have I have one best friend Paula I have to say who is

so anti all of this stuff I mean she is just the opposite she doesn't even like if if we're together we wouldn't hug each other. She doesn't want me to like gush. She's like, that is so cringe. Unless she's drunk, she's not interested in hearing anything gushy or deep or meaningful. She is obsessed with the book. No way. She listens to it on an audio book.

And I'm like, if I can get you round, that is, I've done my job. Also, I said to you, I'm really impressed that you've captivated the UK audience because people in the UK can be quite cynical as you mentioned so I think that's really impressive oh thank you so the next step would be aligning your behavior yes so align your behavior is all about taking action like I know that you get this step 100% it is about motivation self-discipline stepping outside outside your comfort zone, you know, creating change, nothing is going to happen by doing nothing, you know, and this is also about how you treat yourself day to day. So I always say that, look, the universe is always, always

watching what we're doing. I actually forgot to say the most important thing about manifesting is that we manifest, we subconsciously believe we are worthy of receiving. Okay, so that's why step two is so important. So, you know, this is about self-worth. So you can think about all the things that you want, your dream partner, your perfect house, your career goals, but if you don't feel worthy of receiving them, you're not going to be able to attract them. And the universe is always trying to see how worthy you think that you are by the way that we treat ourselves, by the way that we're talking to ourselves, by looking at what behavior we're accepting from others.

So everything that we do matters. And that's why this is actually a life guide. It's a way that you apply yourself every day. It's not something that you just pick up and drop whenever you want. Right. And so are you snoozing your alarm in the morning? Are you getting up and working out? Are you taking your supplements? Are you eating nutritious food? Are you saying no to the things that you don't want to do? Are you settling for less than you deserve? All of these things are

impacting how we feel about ourselves and therefore what we manifest into our lives. So it's not just about thinking about it and hoping it happens. It's really like you need to put the action into it as well. Yeah, you can't think your way anywhere. I think I'm a manifester now. You are. I didn't know I was, but...

Do you know, I hear this all the time. I'm like, that people will be like, oh, I've been doing this. I'm like, yes. Yeah. What you'll find is people who are, everyone's got a friend who they think is like naturally lucky they're probably applying all these things yes naturally they're just not using that term because they're showing up to life every day attracting what they want yeah

and they're expecting the best oh i love that yeah and it's i like the fact that you say i think some people are turned off when they feel like they have to be perfect all the time. And every thought has to be positive. And you're like, no, just catch yourself and remind yourself of that affirmation. I think that is a really good point, because I think toxic positivity is a real thing. So I often get messages from people while they'll say I was doing really well on my manifesting journey. And lately, I've been feeling really low. And I'm really worried that I'm ruining it all. And then I'm going to manifest bad things. Yeah. And I get that. And I think but I do think that comes from this toxic positivity, which is this belief that for good things to happen, we have to feel good all the time, or that we should always be grateful. therefore we should never feel sad. But it's just not possible.

As humans, we are going to and should give ourselves permission to feel the full spectrum of emotions. And that includes anger and sadness and fear. And, you know, it's not about feeling good all the time. It's about knowing that even on the dark days, better days are coming. And what I often say to people is, you know, when you learn to manifest, no, life isn't going to be perfect every day, but your bounce back is going to be phenomenal. You know, so I my bounce back now is like, it's fast. It's good. The comeback is real. Exactly. And that's the power of it.

That's the power you go, okay okay you know what I had a really bad hour but it didn't turn into a terrible day yes or I had a really bad day but I didn't let it ruin my whole week that is power that is so good it's so that's when you know you've crushed it yeah because you're coming back to center and you're reminding yourself of the goal and the visualization I love that overcome tests from the universe. What does that mean? So the universe for me is just an energetic force greater than ourselves. So everything in the universe is made of energy. And I just believe in the power of that energy. Now, I believe that on your way to achieving your goals, the universe will provide you with tests. And the test is how

worthy do you really think you are of receiving. And so the easiest example for this is if you're going on a date. So you're trying to manifest your perfect partner, you've got your list of like how you want the relationship to feel what kind of qualities you want this person to have, then you've worked on removing your fear and doubt, you know, believing that you are worthy of receiving unconditional love, you've aligned your behavior by going on a dating app or allowing your friends to set you up. And then you go on this date and the date is amazing. And you're like, oh my God, the chemistry is incredible. Like I like them so much. I think this is the person that I was

manifesting. And then the next day you don't hear from them. And then three days later you get a text hey what's up this is a test okay and the test is how worthy do you really think you are are you going to settle for somebody that takes three days to text you which by the way is three days too long yeah is that too long it's too long i've been with the same person for 10 years so i'm like out of the game like is that inappropriate it's inappropriate okay okay it needs to be at least within 24 hours as broxy says that's inappropriate that's a test if anybody's taking that long it's a no from me okay um no exception it's a test on you that you say no to that type of energy it's a test and the test is asking you are you going to basically stick around and settle

for less than you deserve because you don't truly believe something better is is available to you or are you able to walk away and say no i know that i'm worthy of more and so what this step is really asking you to do is look at all areas of your life and ask, where am I settling? Where am I settling for less than I deserve? And remember that our time and our energy are our most valuable assets. So we have to use them wisely. You know, we don't have limitless time. We don't have limitless energy. We have to save it for what is worthy so that we can create space for the right things and the things that we desire to come into our life. But the other part of this step is also about how you handle rejection and obstacles. And you know, we kind of touched on

this just now, but life is not going to be perfect, it's going to come with, you know, all those kind of things and all those challenges. But it's how you show up to them that really determines where you end up. So how can you actually take value from it take a meaning and the lesson from it and use that to propel you forward rather than allowing it to derail you yeah and I feel like this is really where the self-worth comes in because if you have a perception of yourself that isn't accurate I mean I feel like I walked around for years and years with a perception of myself even sometimes now that isn't accurate and then I have to remind myself you own a business you have a podcast you're killing it like I have to really remind myself sometimes because otherwise I get stuck

in this headspace of like insecurity and low self-worth and when you feel like that you will accept treatment from other people in that way of course I mean self-worth is really at the core of everything yeah I'm just realizing that as I'm talking. I mean, self-worth is really at the core of everything. Yeah. I'm just realizing that as I'm talking to you. I'm like, wow, it's really important. Step five. Step five, embracing gratitude.

Step five, embrace gratitude. So gratitude is this feeling of appreciation. And I would say that, you know, even if, I always say this, but even if people didn't listen to anything else I said, and they just actually incorporated a gratitude practice into their life, they would change everything. So gratitude really comes from this abundant mindset. It says that it says that I have enough that there is an abundance of joy and happiness and love and success in my life already. And I believe that when

we sit in this abundant mindset, we attract more abundance to us. On the contrary, if we're in a scarcity mindset, which is, you know, I don't have enough and you're focusing on all the things you don't have. I think you keep yourself stuck in this place of lack. You keep attracting lack. And my mom kind of used to say this translation in Arabic, this phrase in Arabic, which literally translates to for every thanks you give, you get 1000 in return. And it really kind of describes this step perfectly. Yeah. So there's one kind of gratitude exercise that I recommend above all others. So often what happens is when people start a gratitude exercise, they'll go, I'm going to write three things every night I'm grateful for my health, my family, my house. And then they kind of get used to saying it and then they get bored and they start the practice

and I get it because actually, if you're repeating anything, you get desensitized to it. So I have this practice that I talk about in the Orange book called the positivity journal. And what I ask people to do is every night before bed, I ask them to write down every single good thing that happened from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed. So it could be the sun was shining. My coffee tasted good. I made it to the gym. I ate really nutritious food.

I had a great conversation with my friend. I accomplished a task at work. You write every single good thing in chronological order. What then happens is that you start to prime your subconscious to look out for the good. It starts to notice the little things. And you realize that each day is filled with beautiful moments that otherwise just go completely unnoticed. And this really changes your whole experience of life. You start to feel happier. You start to feel better about each day.

Even if a bad thing happens, you realize it was surrounded by good moments. And I even do it now as a team. So every Friday, we WhatsApp each other a whole list of everything we were grateful for as work that week. So everything, all the progress we made, however small, all the good

moments. And when I tell you that since we have been doing that, the amount of opportunities and abundance that has come to us has like times by 10. That's awesome. It's amazing. So it's something that you guys can, you know, anyone listening can do at home, but also in the workplace as well so i love it i want to do that team we should do that you 100 should such a great idea and i got so stuck in the oh i have to write down three things and it kept being repetitive and i was like i can't think of anything today i really like the running through the day and finding small moments that's that's a great idea yeah because also that's what happiness is it's about just appreciating the ordinary and the mundane and you know I love that for life's simple pleasures

yeah and I think a lot of the time we fantasize about these huge moments like this massive vacation or a huge like a deal closing and you expect it to be this big moment but in reality it's like really the simple stuff that makes us the happiest. Yeah. Well, the big things, I always say, it's just more of an adrenaline high. It's an adrenaline high like on the way.

And then it happens, you're like, oh, now what? Yeah. The simple pleasures, that's where the happiness really lies. That's where you build that feeling of contentment for life. Yeah. And I feel like we lose that slightly with social media because social media is so much about the big moments yeah and everyone's sharing their big moments yeah oh I think that's actually perfect for the next one which is turn envy into inspiration yes so envy comes from the scarcity mindset so it says

there's not enough for all of us you have something and that might be less for me. Now, I think that we can often really try to like bury down our envy, like we don't want to admit it because there's a lot of shame attached to envy, especially if we feel envious of perhaps a friend or someone close to us. Envy is a really normal emotion. Actually, what it's doing is it's showing us what's still unhealed within us and showing us what we want more of and i always say that you know as i don't want to generalize not i'm not going to say as women men do it as well but there's nothing more triggering than confidence okay because so many of us feel unconfident, and I was 100% in this camp. So this is not to judge at all. But what often happens is when a confident person walks in a room, what we often think of that person who's confident, or let's say we see someone really confident on social media,

it's so easy to go, oh, they're so up themselves. Oh, they're so arrogant. You know, I know in the UK, that is so common. We really and I even in Australia they have like tall poppy syndrome but you like really want to like put down people who are confident because it's so triggering yeah but actually we can use it as an opportunity to show us what we need more of so when I see someone confident now I'm first I'm so inspired by it instead. I'm like, oh, I love that. I can't wait to feel that way about myself. And in doing so, I'm turning my envy into inspiration. Now, inspiration is the antithesis of envy. Inspiration says you have something and I can have it too.

There's an abundance of love, success, and happiness for all of us. And we can go a step further with this and actually start to really celebrate other people show the universe. I am not threatened by somebody else's success. In fact, I'm allowing their success to show me what's possible. Oh, I love that. So relevant right now when it feels like everyone is publicly celebrating their wins. I also feel like there's something to like keeping some wins private. And I've been experimenting with that lately because I've been on social media and been front facing for so long. I'm used to publicly sharing everything and learning how

to celebrate my wins behind closed doors and also celebrate other people's wins in my industry. Like I had Sammy and Sammy on yesterday we both have fitness apps but I freaking love what they're doing and they have a podcast and we're up there on the charts together and I they're crushing it and it genuinely makes me happy to see them winning and it feels so much better so much to not have that competitiveness or jealousy it you feel better in your body when you can be happy for someone else 100% how are you finding like celebrating the wins privately it's weird like I was talking to my husband about it late earlier and I was like it just doesn't feel it almost doesn't feel real unless it's online and people recognize it but that that's a reality check for myself to be like well why do you feel

that way and I think because of how I grew up I tend to look for validation outside of myself like from my husband or from my friends or from this following that I've grown you know to recognize what I've done but to celebrate it privately I'm trying to lean into the fact that it feels like more special that I'm keeping it to myself and I get to process it without other opinions or feedback yeah yeah. Yeah. So we love that. Well, thank you for sharing that. Step seven, trust the universe. Step seven is trust in the universe. So what I ask people to do is be able to know what you want and then let it go. And I think that one of the common mistakes that people make when they're manifesting is that they become overly obsessed with their goals. And I think this turns into desperation.

Now, desperation comes from this fear and doubt. So because you're full of fear and doubt, which is blocking you from manifesting, you're so desperate that it actually blocks the thing that you want from coming to you. And I think most people listening will have an experience of this that they can see for themselves, that when they were obsessed or desperate for something, it didn't come to them. Like I know for sure if I start getting too obsessed with something, it's not coming. On the contrary, you'll all have experience where you just knew.

You were like, I know I'm going to get this job or I know this thing is going to happen. And that confidence is so to happen. And that confidence is so unwavering that it becomes magnetic. And I think that this is the quality that naturally lucky people have. They have this knowing feeling like I just know it's going to work out. And so I asked people to sink into that feeling. So it's a really fine line. And I do think people struggle with this because you know you want to know what you want you want that clarity how do you then let it go but still get there

is the obsessing like it's consuming your thoughts all day type of thing it's the it's the like oh I just really really want it and like you're thinking about it all the time. And you just, you know, and what it is, is that you it's that people are emotionally attaching to these goals, because they think that's the thing that's going to make them happy. I had a moment of this recently, because my husband and I are trying to have a baby. And we've only been trying for like a month. So I'm literally like spiraling for no reason. But I, we didn't get pregnant after the first time trying and I found myself thinking about it non-stop like all I would do is research and ovulation tests and doing all these things and everyone was like just chill like your body is not gonna get pregnant if you're stressed and freaking out about it so I have really tried to let go and just be like if it

happens it happens vibes yes but I completely know what you mean. Yeah, I love that. I'm excited for your journey. Thank you. You have a son, right? Yes. Wolf. Yes. Love that name. Oh, angel.

Has he changed your healing journey? Yeah, I would say that everything good in my life happened after he was born. He's like my lucky charm. Wow. Yeah, he is amazing. And you know, having a child, I think, look, you'll probably know this experience

that when you, woman in business, anybody that has their own business or is just hardworking, whatever, you are often in your masculine energy. It's like... I've been in my masculine for seven years. It's intense. Yeah.

Like, and it can be really hard to switch off. Yeah. When I'm with Wolf, I am in completely in my feminine. I'm nurturing, I'm patient, I'm soft, I'm gentle. And it's the version of me that I love the most. You know, I always think that we are different version of versions of ourselves, depending on who we're around. Yeah. So if we're with our partner or our friends or our colleagues, like there's a different version there are so many versions of ourselves that exist and i always say to people like which is the version of you you love the most and who are you with at that time and what is it that that person allows you to bring out um but yeah and being with wolf is is that my version of that he's my favorite person to be with so special and i

can't wait for that feeling yeah does he know how to manifest do you do anything with him or affirmations so I have been practicing gratitude with him since he was since he could communicate but the way I do it is that every night before bed I say to him what was the best thing that happened today and I make him stop and think and then I go and what was something else and what was something else and I keep going and then I tell him my best things so I always have been doing that and what's really cute is that now I was with him the other day at home my friend Gracie was there and he goes Gracie what was the best thing that happened today no and I was like oh my god he's now passing that on wow but i can see the effect it's

had on him because he is so positive he's always like this is amazing this smells incredible oh this is so soft i love this like he's always expressing the good i rarely i never hear him say like i'm bored or like mo like complaining and things like that so it's definitely had an impact and you know i do but he's also a four-year-old boy so when i'm like you know baby come on let's just say i am strong he's like mom stop being weird he's like chill i'll be grateful but yeah he's like step too far oh that's special i really like that i think that's a great tip for any parents listening yeah um to practice gratitude with your child really cool i want to ask you

about prioritization because i'm sure a lot of the girls listening are like i want to manifest my dream man my dream house my dream job yeah whatever it's so much at once is there a limit to how much we can manifest at once no i actually do not think so so I think that when you if you start your manifesting journey with a vision board let's say but a vision board just to be clear make a vision board and not a mood board so a mood board is lots of pretty pictures a vision board has really clear lists so my vision board for example has no pictures it's just bullet points of everything that I want in specific detail oh um hot take yeah love that okay that's what because i never really vibed with the mood board vision board i

was like i'm just i mean i have one on my desktop it's like horses yeah and like flowers it's just pretty pictures that's not a fucking vision board i'm like well my vision is a horse so that's great okay so yours is bullets mine's bullet points it's like specific like everything that i want i go big i have a guide to how to make a vision board in the books um but yeah a vision board is different to a mood board so once you've got your clarity and i actually tell people to split this vision board into categories so that you're creating a full picture of your life. So like personal development, which is like how you want to grow personally, career, home, romantic relationships, and then like hobbies or leisure or, you know, where you want to travel to, things like that. So you want to create this full picture of your life. And I think that once you start to get into this alignment,

and once you start to focus on self development and healing and understanding yourself better and believing in yourself and treating yourself in the right way, it's easier to manifest everything because it comes from this place of self worth. So if you're feeling more confident in relationships, likely you're also feeling more confident at work as well. And you're starting to feel better about, you know, in your friendship groups or in social situations and everything starts to align. And I think that there is this kind of magic to the practice that things start to just fall into place, life starts to feel easier, and it starts to flow better in all areas but obviously

day to day we have priorities and weekly priorities and you know some weeks my priority is like I need to go all out at work and that means I have no social life which is basically me for the last three years but also year, I decided that one of my priorities was to start to live more and like have more focus, time focused on travel and social engagements. Yeah, that's one of mine too, actually.

I'm like, I haven't made friends in a really long time. Like I should probably work on that. For someone who feels overwhelmed by their vision board, like let's say they have so many bullet points. Yeah.

How do you recommend like honing in on one? Pick your top five. Yeah. Just make it easy. Okay. All right. You can only have five. What are the five things that for you are most important?

Okay. And also make sure you're figuring out why you want things. Sometimes you're putting things on because other people want that thing or your parents want it for you or your friends have it. You actually have to get really honest with yourself. Cut out the noise. What do you actually want? And also what do you want now? Because the old you maybe wanted that thing, but the new you may not. And that's okay. Like let it go. We have to give ourselves permission to actually grow and change and evolve. love that i feel like a lot of times we put things on the list that sound good yeah you know it's like oh everyone wants a new car like i should want a new car yeah but do you you know

do you actually care about cars do you really need it such a good point yeah uh personal question for you as you've gotten more successful busier you have a team you've got all these responsibilities have you found it more challenging to sort of stay in the routine of manifesting? Or has it gotten easier and easier? No, because it isn't a routine, because the seven steps are the way I live and breathe. It's like almost autopilot for you at this point. Yes. And it will be for everyone once they've read it, and they've started practicing it. It's so easy. Because if you think about it, the visualization I'm doing kind of daily, I'm really clear on my goals. The self-development stuff is constant for me because I'm always questioning, why am I behaving like this?

Why do I have this pattern of relationships in my life? Why is that my go-to reaction? I'm always questioning that and then trying to figure out how I can heal it or change it. I'm always aligning my behavior with my highest self. How can I show up today? How can I step outside my comfort zone? How can I, you know, do something that's going to take me to the next level? I'm always able to reframe challenges because this step has taught me that, you know, step four, I'm practicing gratitude every day. And the way we even talk to each other, you know, it influences the people around you, me and the team now, like I almost laugh because the way we speak, like we're having this trip in

America and we're just like, guys, this is the best sandwich I've ever had with sweet greens and we're like this is unbelievable like we're so fucking enthusiastic i'm dead because sweet green is good but like this is salad yeah we had one i had um will i talk about it again yes i will i went to new york have you had did i talk to you about this when i started the day the black street bagels in new york oh the ruben it's like pastrami bagel basically the best thing that ever happened to me and i'm still thinking about it you know i went on the today show i did nbc all i care about was the fact that i had the best bagel they're like hi can we talk about manifesting you're like but pastrami on a bagel who knew and gluten-free what the was

it gluten-free this is the thing oh you're gonna have to send me that place this is oh see now you get it yeah yeah yeah no it's going free i'm going yeah um so it really feeds off so we're always in this positive mindset and even when like you know i had a really tough day two days ago i woke up and i just felt sad like i was just down I'd been waking up before 4am for the last nine days jet lag's got me I'm really it's been like 12 days of press I really miss my son and I was like guys I just feel really sad today and the girls were like but this really good thing happened and this thing happened but then also like showing me the positives but also just letting me like be sad for a day and then knowing the next day I was like guys I feel so much better we're back yeah you know again it's that bounce

back and then anytime I'm feeling envious I really do change it and I make sure to always celebrate other people's success and then I just sink into that trust into that knowing so it's just an everyday all day kind of thing I love it Roxy you're awesome i'm very inspired i'm ready to start manifesting and i'm going to start with my gratitude practice tonight because i love that amazing i ask every single guest because i believe everyone's pursuit of wellness looks different what does wellness mean to you um treating yourself with the love and respect that each and every one of us deserve hell yeah i love that proxy where can everyone find you online where can they buy the book plug it up oh manifest seven steps living your best life and manifest in action or known as

dive deeper in outside the us they are available amazon bands and noble wherever you get your books and find me on instagram roxy nafusi thank you so much roxy and can i just say the book is gorgeous like it looks so good on the table thank you so much i wanted it to look like an aesthetic piece it does and i wanted to be able to recognize if anyone had it so this is do you know it's so helpful um kate h Kate Hudson posted this reel with her daughter and in the corner there was this like it was just I could just see this orange and I was like I know I know that orange anywhere did you lose it I was like I was like I'm pretty sure but I didn't want to go like too full throttle in case it wasn't that was so embarrassing so I was

like I need to do some no that's awesome the reel, she had the book behind her and the little publisher logo at the bottom. And I was like, it was manifest. Oh, yes. So it's so handy having such a distinct color. I can see it anywhere. Oh, it's so helpful. I feel the same with the greens bottle. If I see it in someone's video, I can immediately tell.

This is it. And celebrities don't ever really show products, but I can always see it in the book. You know what I mean? I'm like, I know you're taking my greens, but it's fine. You don't have to say anything. It's fine. I know. We know. Well, thank you, Roxy can always see it in the book. You know what I mean? I'm like, I know you're taking my greens, but it's fine. You don't have to say anything. I know. We know. Well, thank you, Roxy. You're amazing.

Thanks for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marilowelland.com. It will be linked in the show notes. This is a Wellness Out Loud production produced by Drake Peterson, Fiona Attucks, and Kelly Kyle. This show is edited by Mike Fry,

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