Pursuit of Wellness - I'm Pregnant.

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

Ep. 187: I’ve been holding onto this news for what feels like forever, and I’m finally ready to share—I’m pregnant. In this solo episode, I’m walking you through how I found out, the emotional whirlwind that followed, and what it’s been like living with a 1% chance of success. From the embryo transfer to the first ultrasounds, I’m taking you behind the scenes of the journey so far, including what I’ve been doing to stay grounded through it all. If you’re going through something uncertain or hoping for your own miracle, I hope this conversation makes you feel a little less alone. Leave Me a Message - click here! For Mari’s Instagram click here! For Pursuit of Wellness Podcast’s Instagram click here! For Mari’s Newsletter click here! For Pursuit Network’s Instagram click here! Sponsored By: Shop non-toxic cookware at carawayhome.com/MARI or use code MARI for 10% off. Enjoy free shipping, easy returns, and a 30-day trial. Save 15% at boncharge.com with code PURSUIT and experience science-backed beauty with the Red Light Face Mask. Get better sleep, skin & hair with Blissy. Use code POWPOD for 30% off at blissy.com/POWPOD. Start your summer side hustle with Shopify. Build your brand today at shopify.com/mari—your business, your way. Sleep better with Eight Sleep’s Pod 4 Ultra. Get $350 off with code POW at eightsleep.com/pow. Get $100 toward Function Health — the most advanced at-home lab testing. First 1000 only: functionhealth.com/pow Show Links: Learn more about the Pursuit Network and how to join here Build strength, balance & self-love with The EMPWR Podcast Explore peak performance & brain health on The Neuro Experience Find joy, healing & real talk on For the Healthy Hoes Support gut health, immunity, and glowing skin with Bloom Colostrum—a 3-in-1 blend of colostrum, collagen, and probiotics. Topics Discussed 00:00:09: Welcome  00:04:51: Starting a podcast network 00:06:12: Embryo transfer 00:09:44: Two week waiting period 00:16:11: Finding out I’m pregnant 00:19:38: Low hCG 00:22:21: 1% chance of viable pregnancy 00:24:06: hCG rising 00:29:48: First ultrasound 00:32:21: Graduating from IVF clinic 00:39:09: Pregnancy symptoms 00:42:32: Exercise and nutrition

This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. Hi guys, welcome back to the show. How crazy. As you can tell by the title, I am pregnant. Oh my God, can't believe I'm saying that out loud. I also have not recorded the show in over two months. I also have not recorded the show in over two months. I took two months off social media. I have basically been a hermit for two months. I have barely left my house and I've been in such a bubble. And there's so much that has happened, also so little that's happened,

but I have so much to share with you guys. If you follow me on Instagram, I finally announced that I was pregnant once I hit the 12 week mark with my pregnancy. And I was really nervous to do so because I felt like I was in this bubble where, I don't know, like I love, love, love my community so much. Like especially on this podcast, I feel like you guys have seen me through it all. And I feel very connected with you guys. And especially with my fertility journey and IVF journey, I just felt, I don't know, really connected. It's such a special

experience, you know? But when you put things out on social media, you never know where they're going to land. You're opening yourself up for feedback. And I kind of was just enjoying being in my bubble, but I was also so excited to share. So very mixed emotions. I also think, you know, when you go through infertility for two, I went through it for two years, some people go through it for longer. When you experience loss, et cetera, et cetera, it's almost hard to believe that it's real. Like I feel like I have to remind myself constantly,

like you really are pregnant, and I think sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream because I've just waited so long for it that it's hard to grasp, you know? I literally got an ultrasound done yesterday to make sure little one was still in there and I don't know, I know that sounds crazy and I'm getting too in-depth too quickly here but I just, you know, it's just crazy to even talk about it honestly for me and it's so surreal and I know I left you guys on such a cliffhanger, like the last time I recorded,

I was about to do my transfer. I was so nervous. I was in such a like, that head space. I was so worried about it not working. And I was in such a like, I didn't wanna jinx anything. I was so scared to even talk about it. And I knew that the second I did my transfer, I would delete social media because I was like,

whether or not it works or not, I need to experience that privately. And it's honestly the first time in my career that I didn't share and that I stopped working pretty much for two months. And it was a really crazy feeling. And I'm honestly very grateful that I did that and very happy that I stopped working pretty much for two months. And it was a really crazy feeling. And I'm honestly very grateful that I did that and very happy that I did that because I think content regarding this topic is very important. I know there's a lot of discourse about that online right now. And as someone who personally went through infertility, I think it's so valuable to share your experience, especially when you are a

healthy person with a good mindset. I always tried to stay as positive as possible. Sometimes for unexplained reasons, you just can't get pregnant and it's not your fault. It's not because you're not manifesting it, quote unquote. If you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about. I think that content is so valuable and I'm really happy that I shared my experience. I just think people who haven't gone through it

don't understand the pain. Like, no, of course not, right? Like people who have an experience in fertility or loss will never understand that deepness of the pain that you feel and seeing other people experience it is really helpful because I think we are surrounded, understand that deepness of the pain that you feel and seeing other people experience it is really helpful because I think we are surrounded, I mean, day-to-day life by people who get pregnant easily or celebrities getting whatever, it's everywhere. I left you guys on a cliffhanger, I deleted social media, obviously now I'm pregnant and I want to tell you guys the full story

of what happened because it wasn't just, I think in my head, I had this vision that once I was pregnant, everything would be amazing. And it is like I am the happiest I've ever been, but there was some bumps in the road for sure. And some anxieties I was not anticipating. And I want to fill you guys in on that because I think it's important and tell you the full story. So we're going to hop into that. I also want to acknowledge since I left the podcast, I launched a podcast network,

which is crazy with my business partner, Mikaela Phillips, who's incredible. It's called the Pursuit Network. As you can see on the screen next to me, we have some incredible talent who joined the network. We have Sam Christine, who's Sam C. Fit on Instagram with her show Empower. She's amazing. She's a mom, she's fit, she's gorgeous.

We have Louisa Nicole, who is a neuroscientist, insane, with the Neuro Experience podcast. And we have Rhee and Slim for the Healthy Hoes podcast. So an amazing lineup of talent. And I'm just so excited to be a part of a network that's doing things differently. I've been in networks before where, you know, I think it looks a certain way, front-facing and publicly it's like kind of glamorous and like people really, I don't know,

look up to these certain networks or you know, whatever. As talent and as someone who also runs a business, I never found a place where I felt fully happy and I wanted to create that. So we're really, really excited to be doing that and we'll put more information in the description box below of where you can listen to the shows if you know someone who'd want to join the network we'll put all that info down below. Let's talk about my pregnancy story. My embryo transfer was on March 20th and it was a very magical day for me. I was, I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is the day that I get pregnant, like they are going to impregnate me. And the way embryo transfers work is you're basically pregnant until proven otherwise, which is kind of sad.

But you know, it's like a 5050 chance of the embryo sticking, honestly. And I did this whole protocol leading up to the transfer. If you follow me on TikTok, you know, I was doing acupuncture twice a week, I was wearing fuzzy socks, I was doing warm foot baths, I was drinking pomegranate juice, I was eating Brazil nuts. Like I really was making it my whole mission for this transfer to work.

But I also, you know, I tend to be a bit of a like, I have kind of an obsessive personality and yeah, I was just very anxious for it to work because I've been in this journey for so long and honestly I was lucky that I got enough embryos to where I could do the transfer right away and I didn't have to do another round of IVF. I don't know how I could have because my egg retrieval experience was so bad and so many people have positive experiences by the way I want to say like anyone doing an egg retrieval I don't want you to be afraid because of my experience but I just had such a such a such a bad reaction to the egg retrieval it was so painful. But anyway the day of transfer Greg came back

there with me they gave me a Valium that's the only drug they gave me. I had to drink a gallon of water and hold it because it makes it easier for them. And I guess I drank too much water. They were like, how is your bladder holding this much water? They measured it and they had to give me this bucket with measurements of how much water to release and I would go and pee in it because I drank too much water. I got my bladder to the right point. They brought me out a photo of the embryo which is the craziest experience. It's like this cell and the cell they like dethawed it that morning and it was starting to hatch and keep in mind I don't know the gender, didn't pick the gender, I know the gender now which is gonna kill you guys I know but I didn't at the time and I was just I started crying immediately

when I saw this picture of this embryo I I was like, oh my God, that could be my baby. And they wheeled me back into the surgery room, which is the same room I did my egg retrieval in. So it was like kind of scary. All these nurses and people are running around, but I had Greg next to me holding my hand. And basically they tell you to stay as still as possible. They put you on the bed and he essentially impregnated me and I watched the whole thing on a screen. It was insane. I literally like had my, my mouth was open the whole time and I watched him implant the embryo in my uterus and Greg's

watching and he's just like, Oh my God, this is insane. It was magical. I was like, wow, this is the craziest day of my life. And then afterwards we, I think they made me lay there for a little bit. And then I got dressed and there's sort of a tradition in the IVF world that you go get French fries after you do your transfer. It helps it stick. And most people go to McDonald's. You guys know me. I am not putting canola oil in my body. No, no, no. So I went to NADC Burger here in Austin, which is not a damn chance burger. It's amazing and they only use Tallo. So we went and got burgers and fries made in Tallo and it was incredible. And then I went home and took it easy. Like I laid on the couch, I went on some walks,

and then from there, you have a two week waiting window to find out if you are pregnant. And I knew this would be the hardest window of my life to get through because I am someone that like, I'm a control freak, I need to know what's going on. But something about IVF changed me, not to sound cringy or embarrassing or whatever. I just felt like IVF was such a patience game, which I didn't anticipate. You're always waiting for calls. How many embryos did you get? Did they

make it through genetic testing? You have to wait to get your period to do the transfer. Like you're always waiting. And there's so many things that can happen to delay. Like they could have delayed my transfer. I found out the day before that it was confirmed. And if they'd canceled my transfer, I seriously don't even wanna know how upset I would have been because I was so set on this transfer happening.

So at this point, I had a two-week wait window. And in this window, a lot of girls start taking at-home pregnancy tests on like day five. And I told myself, I'm not at-home testing because there's a lot of cases where people get false negatives. And I mean, getting a negative would have crushed me. I mean, I've been getting negative pregnancy tests for two years, and I just, I'm honestly terrified of pregnancy tests at this point because they crush me so many times. So, and I didn't want to get a false positive either. And I just had so many people tell me it wasn't worth doing.

So I didn't touch pregnancy tests. I didn't even have them in the house. I basically was just going based on my symptoms. And I could definitely feel in my body that I was pregnant. And I didn't really want to fully attach to it. I didn't want to get too excited. But I could feel certain things like this like pulling sensation in my uterus like every time I would get out of bed or roll over I would have this like pulling in my uterus.

I can't describe it like a pinching almost. So I would like Google that and then I also noticed my boobs really hurt. They still hurt honestly and they were getting really big. Like I hosted Greg's birthday at our house during this two week window, and everyone was like, your boobs are huge. I was like, I know, but I thought maybe it's from the hormones. Like at this point, I'm still doing injections every night. I'm doing pills. I'm doing suppositories.

Like I was like, maybe it's all the hormones they have me on, but I could just feel, I really thought that I was, and I was like, you know, if they tell me I'm like, maybe it's all the hormones they have me on, but I could just feel, I really thought that I was and I was like, you know, if they tell me I'm not, I'll be really surprised. But it's this crazy feeling of like gearing yourself up for either the best day of your life or the worst day of your life. And I know that's kind of dramatic and I'm lucky I had other embryos just in case, but like going through that again, I mean, two weeks feels like a lifetime, right?

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and use code pow pod to get an additional 30% off your skin and hair, well thank you. Then comes the day of my pregnancy test. And I think it was March 31st. You go in for a blood test, they call you later that day, and they tell you whether you're positive or negative. This day was excruciating. I think I went in at like 8am, got my blood test and then literally sat by the phone the entire day waiting for that call. And I had Greg with me, I was like, baby, you need to come home from work early because I want you to be there when we get the call

because if it's bad, I need you to pick me up off the ground because I will not be okay. And if it's positive, I want you there too. After this episode, I'm recording a Q&A with Greg so you guys can hear from his perspective and we can answer a bunch of your questions. But I saw a lot of people being like, how did you tell Greg?

I didn't really get the experience of like surprising Greg because he literally watched them impregnate me. And then he was there with me. But I remember I was like losing my mind at the house and we decided to go on a walk. And we take the dogs and we're walking around the neighborhood and I'm waiting for this call. And I have my phone on loud and I know the exact yard

we were walking past when I got this call. We're doing laps, we walk, we're walking and I get the phone call. And I'm so dramatic guys with these phone calls. Like they are, I mean, getting calls about your embryos or your kids, or it's just like terrifying. So I answered this call and it was a Monday and she goes, congratulations, you're positive. And I literally fell on the floor and I was crying and going, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

And I'm like, Greg's there and he's like freaking out, but Greg always just laughs when he's excited. Like he just has this dolphin laugh that he does. And right when I got that call, a blue jay landed and this is, you know, a little spiritual, but a blue jay landed right in a tree above us. And Greg was like, oh my God, a blue jay, like that must mean something.

We're just freaking out together. The nurse on the phone was like, are you okay? And I was like, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. And she's like, okay, you need to come back in two days for an HCG test. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, oh my gosh. So we hang up the phone. I literally just had my hand over my mouth

and we're walking up the street and I'm like, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Best day of my life for sure. And I wasn't 100% sure of like, if I would tell people at that point because I'd been told like, you kind of wanna wait a couple days to be sure. But I was so excited.

We like immediately called Greg's parents, called my mom, called my dad. I told a bunch of my friends, like I really was just so excited. And also everyone in my life knew I was doing an embryo transfer. I wasn't very secretive about it. I mean, I literally told the whole internet.

So I didn't really, like everyone wanted to know. And I didn't wanna just like leave everyone hanging. Best day of my life, hands down, craziest feeling. All of it was worth it. All of that hard work, all of the tears and the pain and the sadness, like it just felt like wow it's happening for me and for Greg. And this is when things took a little bit of a turn. So I found out I was positive on Monday. I go back Wednesday and they test my HCG. Your HCG is supposed to rise

during pregnancy and it's supposed to double every two days. So that's really the telling sign of a healthy pregnancy at the beginning and HCG is a big thing in the IVF world. I did remove myself from social media because I knew if I saw certain numbers or people's experiences like I would end up inevitably comparing my experience, my numbers to theirs, but I did end up on these threads on the internet about what HCG levels people had, how quickly they doubled, whatever. But I didn't really think about it that hard. I was like, I'm positive, I'm pregnant. I go in for my HCD test Wednesday. I'm waiting for the call all day. And again, I'm terrified. And I just feel like a lot of my IVF experience was just me being terrified constantly. Like this awful feeling of like, I can't explain it. You're just in fear all the time. And it's hard to shake that, right? I get

the call. I hear in the tone of her voice that something's wrong. And you know that feeling. My stomach sinks. I'm like, fuck, like what is she about to say? And she starts her sentence with, unfortunately, your HCG is quite low. It didn't double. I think it went from a 98 to a 119. Like I literally still remember the numbers. That's how scarred I am from this experience. And she goes, the doctor's really concerned. You need to come back on Friday and we need to test again. And I am like, I'm beside myself.

Like I could barely drive home. I was at the acupuncturist and I had to tell Greg and Greg's, you know, Greg is like always strong front facing, but I knew he was also panicking. And I texted my IVF doctor and I said, please, can I talk to you? You know, the nurse said you can feel free to reach out to him. And I did. And I was like, please, can I talk to you? The nurse said, you can feel free to reach out to him. And I did, and I was like, please, can we talk? He was like, I'll call you after I'm done for the day. And I'm waiting for that call.

And it was an awful phone call. And also I'd just like to say, I love my IVF clinic. I had such an amazing experience with them. I'm so grateful to them and nothing they did was wrong. Like they just have a very conservative approach, which makes sense. He doesn't sugarcoat things and he's very honest and very like, he's a smart guy, obviously. Calls us that night, I've seen this happen once before in my clinic. And it worked out only once. He's like, you have about

a 1% chance of this baby being viable, and this being a viable pregnancy. And he basically is telling us the next steps of the second transfer, because this didn't work. And I'm like, obviously just heartbroken. I like, can barely speak about it. And I think it's important that I share that because it gives context as to why I've been more anxious in my pregnancy than I anticipated being. But anyway, this phone call was like really, really heart wrenching. To be given what you've wanted for two years and then have it taken away and basically told like you're gonna miscarry is, I mean,

it's basically like experiencing the loss without, you know what I mean? Like being told you're gonna experience it. And I've had friends who have miscarried and watching them go through it. I mean, it is a human experience that feels wrong. It's so painful. And so many people go through it. I'm just numb for two days waiting for my next blood test. And I'm like, you know,

just praying that somehow this 1% chance we have might work out. I go in on Friday, I do the test and I'm kind of like, I'm mentally preparing myself for the worst because what else are you supposed to do? Like, I've been through such heartbreak with this already. I mean, this is my worst nightmare coming to life, honestly. So I do the blood test. I get a call and I'm refreshing my email waiting for the lab court results all day.

And I get the results before I get the call. As I told you guys, it was a 98, a 119, and Greg and I calculated, and by the way, Greg and I are just stuck on chat GPT at this point, like trying to figure out if this might work. And we calculate the number it needed to be. Okay, it needed to be like a 240 for this to make sense, for this to work out.

I get the email, I think the number was a 280. So it didn't just double, it increased by a lot. And I'm like, that's really interesting. And I'm like, babe, it like more than doubled. And we're both like, we have some hope, but we're still waiting on that call. I get the call, waiting for these phone calls, guys. I mean, I've never experienced mental torture like it. And they go, okay, things might be turning up, but they also might not be.

We can't get our hopes up. We need to wait through the weekend and have you come back Monday and test again." And I'm like, how am I going to get through this weekend? Like genuinely, how am I going to survive? I did. I remember I did like a pottery class with my friends and I was just like a zombie. I like had no joy. And everyone was like, I like had no joy and everyone was like, oh, congratulations. And I remember literally saying like, yeah, maybe not. I just didn't know what else to say

because how do you explain like, yeah, I'm pregnant, but like I might not be. It's just, it's the weirdest feeling. Some is approaching and hot tip. It is the perfect time to start that side hustle you have been dreaming about. That is essentially how I started my entire business on Shopify when I was selling my PDF workout guides.

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you know, I have a friend who's been through loss and she was there for me and just I was a disaster. Monday comes around, I go and do the blood test. My number has now tripled, more than doubled. I think more than that actually. And at this point the doctor says okay we need you to come in for an ultrasound because things are looking up I want to see what's going on. So at this point I'm'm like, it might be working. It might be working. I'm so like torn here because I'm like, oh my God, it's working. We go in for the ultrasound.

As I said before, my doctor is like very to the point. He doesn't sugar coat things. And I appreciate that about him. I would rather him do that than make me feel hopeful, you know? And he goes, okay, let's see this ultrasound. I'm really hoping, you know, at this point, I'm six weeks pregnant probably, maybe seven,

because when they put the embryo in you, you're technically already four weeks pregnant because the embryo has developed outside of the body, which is crazy. So he's like, I'm hoping to see maybe a heartbeat. He's like, this could be an ectopic pregnancy. That would explain the low HCG, which obviously would not be viable. He's kind of warning me be an ectopic pregnancy. That would explain the low HCG, which obviously would not be viable.

He's kind of warning me that it could be the worst. And I'm like laying on the table, waiting for him to come in and do the ultrasound. And my heart is pounding. Like I seriously thought I was gonna throw up. I could barely speak. He does the ultrasound and I'm just like, I can barely look at the screen.

I'm like, please, please, please, please, please. This is the first ultrasound we've done, okay? There's a speck on the screen and there's a heartbeat. Like you see the flicker of the heartbeat and it's a pretty strong one. And he's like, oh, things look pretty good. He was like, I need to see something about the yolk developing more or know the sack or,

I don't know. He's like, things look good. We're a couple of days behind of where we should be, but there's a heartbeat. We're feeling hopeful. I mean, in that moment I was ecstatic, but then I was also like, shit, I have to get through another week

and wait for my next ultrasound and I'm gonna be terrified. So for a couple of weeks there, I was really in just pure fear. Like I actually couldn't think about anything else except this baby and these ultrasounds. We get to week seven. The baby's grown. There's a heartbeat. Things are looking good. We don't listen to the heartbeat yet because he didn't want to like use a tool that had heat,

basically, to hear it. He was like, let's wait another week. We wait another week. It's developed even more. The sac's developing. We hear the heartbeat. Craziest experience of my life. Like I couldn't believe it. I think a couple, you know, at the IVF clinic you do scans every week. I know in normal pregnancies you do scans every four weeks roughly. At the IVF clinic you're in there every single week, which for me loved it. I'm like a control freak, I need to see what's going on. Each scan was getting better and better and I'm still holding my breath every time. I'm basically like, I wasn't, just to be honest,

I wasn't really able to enjoy being pregnant until very recently because I was so afraid. Yeah, then we finally get to the point where my doctor said, I think things are looking good. Like we are gonna graduate you from the clinic next week. We're in a good place. And I just like couldn't even believe that he was telling me that. And I was also so emotional about graduating

because I was like, I just was like living at this clinic. Like I was there multiple times a week and had been through so much with these people and I just couldn't believe our baby pulled through. It was seriously a miracle. I'm not definite on this, but I just want to say a major thing that I did when I got that scary news was went to my acupuncturist, my queen, she's amazing, and I have been following Chinese medicine practices throughout my pregnancy. I didn't

swim my entire first trimester because I didn't want to have any coldness happening near my womb. She's very big on warmth, keeping the feet warm, drinking room temperature water and drinks, no smoothies, no ice cream, which is really hard in Texas summer. Like I just allowed myself to do that. And she gave me herbs to support growth. I mean, when I went to see her, I was like panicking and she really stepped in and she was like,

we don't give up yet, we don't give up yet. And she really helped me just have a good mindset about it. She was like, we don't give up yet. We don't give up yet. And she really helped me just have a good mindset about it. She was like, you can't panic. You have to stay calm for the baby. She gave me these herbs, disgusting herbs, like disgusting. And she was like, you're gonna have a hard time taking these. I would pour the herbs like packets,

like eight packets of herbs in my mouth and chug them twice a day. Actually three times a day at one point. It was brutal. But I seriously think that's a huge reason I was able to pull through and the baby was able to pull through. And I think something she said really stuck with me. She said, you know, I think the fact that you have PCOS, sometimes it slows down the blood flow. And maybe that's why the HCG was slow to start. I don't know if this is a very niche thing or if other people have been through this.

Like let me know if you have, I'd be very interested to know. Actually, a friend of mine reached out and said she has four kids and she said she had low HCG with every single baby and she had them stop testing her HCG because she was like, I just had faith and it worked out every time. So if you've been through this, you're going through this, maybe this is helpful. That was a rough start for sure.

Since then, I graduated the IVF clinic, which was a crazy experience. I'm like a normal pregnant person now. And I went to my regular OBGYN. He did a scan. The baby has now overtaken its growth. So like my due date was pushed earlier, which is crazy. Every time I see the little one, they're jumping back flipping like it's crazy It is honestly the craziest experience like I got to see the baby yesterday and the baby was trying to suck its thumb and like

Opening its mouth. It was just bizarre like the feet are kicking arms are waving There's elbows. There's fingers like you can see a nose, it is crazy. Like I actually can't even put in words how bizarre it is to see. And I think just after everything I've been through, every time I do an ultrasound, my mouth is, like my jaw is on the floor. I'm like, how is there a little person in me? Like it is bizarre in the most amazing way. I chose Function because it's the best in the world for testing. It's an all-in-one health platform

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Go to bondcharge.com and use coupon code PURSUIT to save 15%. That's B-O-N-C-H-A-R-G-e dot com and use coupon code PURSUIT to save 15%. Let's talk about like my symptoms and all that stuff. I feel like I haven't even touched on that because it was such a crazy journey to get here. But the biggest ones, I've kind of been keeping track because they've kind of shifted but From the beginning I told you guys the pinching the pulling of the uterus the boobs big and hurt Okay, the boobs have been consistently getting bigger and bigger and it actually is terrifying like I'm how could they possibly?

Get any bigger. I mean if you look at pictures of me from before IVF, even during IVF to now, I had small, small boobs, like always kind of have. They are like massive right now. Like, I actually can't believe it. It's hard to get dressed. Like, none of my clothes are made for big boobs. Like, none of my bras fit, none of my sports bras fit, none of my bikinis fit. It's really weird. They hurt. Like right now it's actually not that bad, but like a lot of days, they hurt to the touch. I can't really jog because when I move, they like really hurt and they like ache. So that's been one consistent symptom. I would say fatigue has been a big one. And that one kind of fluctuates.

Like over the weekend, this past weekend, I was exhausted from like 11 a.m. onwards, usually it hits me around like three or four. And I'm just kind of like down for the count. And I really let myself rest. And then my nausea has been so, so mild, Like, and I know I'm super lucky and I, part of me wonders if the universe is giving me a break because it saw everything I went through. And maybe I'm having a little bit of a breather with the symptoms, but I haven't thrown up once. My nausea is pretty much only, usually only first thing in the morning, and I have to eat something right away.

And then it usually goes away within like an hour. But I've had days where the nausea kind of like comes in waves. And again, it's not that bad, but definitely like, you know, if Greg's making salmon, I'm like, that is disgusting. But then some days I can eat the salmon so it really just depends. But I think in general like compared to some girls experiences I feel really really good. It's weird though I feel like my symptoms actually ramped up around 12 weeks. I felt like they were very mild like I had some days where I was like I feel completely normal and I'll be honest that freaked me out like just after everything I went where I was like, I feel completely normal. And I'll be honest, that freaked me out. Just after everything I went through, I was like, is everything okay?

Am I, is something wrong? I've had a lot of having to work through those anxieties and I'm still occasionally going through that, just being really paranoid about doing something wrong or, I don't even know, it's crazy because they are so protected in there and there's like not much you can do wrong. But when you go through like what I went through, you're just so scared, you know? The symptoms have ramped up a little bit the past couple days. Also just being so hungry. Like I have to eat every hour. I go everywhere with snacks now, like sliced apple, crackers, cheese. I just have to have something on me because if I go too long without eating, I don't feel good. So in terms of working

out and nutrition, I was told by my clinic to not work out those first few weeks. Like don't pick up anything heavy. And keep in mind, like this is coming from an IVF clinic. Like they're obviously very conservative. Most women are fine to work out. But yeah, they said don't work out. I think I got cleared to start working out around maybe nine or 10 weeks.

And I started super duper slow, like very lightweight, very slow movements. I was still walking, like I was pretty much getting like close to 10,000 steps every day, that was my exercise, but I definitely missed weightlifting. It just helps me mentally and helps my body image, like there's just so much that it helps me with. So since that point, I've really like gotten more comfortable

and now I'm weightlifting probably four days a week. Definitely not like going crazy and I'm not doing any core or abs. So I stopped going to Pilates, which is sad, but it just feels like a lot of core. So I've been weightlifting in my gym and walking, which feels really good. I do it first thing in the morning. And then nutrition, I mean, it's pretty similar. I just eat more often and smaller quantities maybe. I don't know. I just definitely eat more often and I try to focus on

protein, but I probably eat more carbs because that's kind of what makes me feel better. Biggest cravings have been lemonade. That's a huge craving for me. And sandwiches are the biggest ones. And also, before I talk about nutrition, I know that so many people have strong opinions one way or the other about food when they're pregnant. And I just think that everyone's different and like everyone should do what they're most comfortable with. I think in general, I take a very conservative approach in some ways, but not other ways.

Like I think, so I ordered this book called expecting better. Emily Oster is the author. She's an economist and she talks about how when you're pregnant, they pretty much just tell you like, oh you can't eat deli meat, you can't eat sushi, you can't drink alcohol, you can't have coffee and there's really no like rhyme or reason behind it and no statistics and she basically went and gathered all the statistics on the different things they tell you

you can't do and in this book she tells everyone like the statistics on why you should or shouldn't eat these things, okay? So I read this book, I haven't read the whole thing but I've read a lot of it because there's certain things I definitely don't want to do. I don't want to drink alcohol, I don't want to have too much caffeine, I probably won't eat raw fish, at least in my first trimester. But like the deli meat, for example, she talked about how it's a super low statistic chance of you getting sick. And the highest chance is with turkey. So I kind of made the mental decision, I'll avoid turkey, but I'll eat the other things.

And then there's like a whole tuna fish part where the mercury isn't great for the kid. So you want to limit tuna, but you can have it every once in a while. I just think people have these rules in their head and they don't know why. Like there's a lot of old fashioned things. I just have made decisions on my own for myself, you know? And I think that's something I'm like nervous about sharing because I just know people love to give unsolicited advice based on their beliefs. But I just think everyone should come up with their own rule book, you know?

So yeah, I've been definitely focused on protein. One thing that I did that's kind of weird was I've been eating like fish eggs quite frequently because of the DHA. There's a scientist I love called Dr. Rhonda Patrick who is so smart. Go look her up. She has her own podcast. She's been on Joe Rogan and she ate fish eggs throughout her pregnancy because they find that the DHA in the eggs is more potent than in the fish and it really helps with the baby's brain development. more potent than in the fish and it really helps with the baby's brain development.

So Greg orders me these wild Alaskan fish eggs. It is a little bit disgusting and I at first was like how am I going to eat this? Like I'm so grossed out but I put it on a cracker with butter and it's honestly fine. I don't do it every day. I do it a couple times a week. That's like one weird thing I've been doing. I've also just been trying to be pretty clean in general, like avoiding seed oils, like all the beliefs I had already, you know, but I do allow myself to like have a few more indulgences. Like for example, if I'm really tired, I don't feel well, I'll let myself order tacos or maybe a sandwich. I don't necessarily, like I'm not clean 24-7, but most of the time I am. And I just make sure I get those nutrients in. I feel like I've been really into fruit, that's a big thing. Drinking tons of water. Currently with my caffeine, I'm having one matcha a day, maybe two.

Like that's kind of what I'm doing. I mean, I avoid fast food. I'm not into that, you know. You know, we can do a whole other episode about products and toxins and things, you know, that I'm avoiding or using, but I think it would be good to get an expert on the show to talk about that as well,

because I actually still have questions and I'm not like an expert. So I definitely wanna get to that point where we bring people on to discuss and I have a few great ideas and we have some amazing guests in the pipeline, like one that I'm so excited about coming in June. And if you still have questions,

Greg is coming on next week to answer those questions. We're gonna do that together. I got so many questions. Oh my goodness. I mean, me disappearing from social media and then coming back with that announcement, I have never in my life had so much like love. It's so crazy.

And I am so appreciative of everyone who's shared their well wishes. It's seriously so heartwarming and special and I'm so excited to share this with you guys. I mean this I've waited for this my whole life and I'm very fascinated by the development process and just everything that I can do to help the baby and what I can eat and just all the things. I think it's very interesting. So I appreciate you guys sticking around through my two-month hiatus. Thank you for returning. I'm going to be doing one episode a week. I'm definitely, you know, I'm back at work as of today, but I'm coming back a little bit differently.

You know, I'm back at work as of today, but I'm coming back a little bit differently. I think, you know, the old me was like, fill the calendar to the brim, say yes to everything. I had a bit of a problem for a while. And, you know, I think it got me a long way. Like I wouldn't have built Bloom if I wasn't so intense about it. But I have truly waited to be pregnant for so long that I want to enjoy it. And I don't waited to be pregnant for so long that I want to enjoy it and I don't want to be stressed. I want to be able to rest and like enjoy and I still love doing the podcast.

This is my favorite thing that I do and I think we can have some amazing conversations, but I think twice a week was really a lot for me. So we're going down to one. I know you guys will respect that and I'm so appreciative. And I wanna make sure you guys subscribe so you don't miss anything, cause I am back. Leave a review.

I would also just love to hear you guys' feedback on like your own experience or whatever you've been through. Like I love reading, so either DM me, leave a comment on Spotify or on YouTube. And I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sticking around and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye. Thank you for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player.

You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favourites at marielawellen.com, it will be linked in the show notes. This podcast is a Pursuit Network production brought to you by Michaela Phillips, Joel Contartese, Davielle Waldner, Jen Lauren, and Mackenzie Maisel. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Love you, Power Girls and Power Boys. I will see you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only.

It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always talk to your doctor or health team.