Pursuit of Wellness - Sami Clarke & Sami Spalter on Transforming Inside & Out: Weightloss, Grief, Self Love & The Messiness Of Life

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

Ep #76 In today’s episode, I get intimate and vulnerable with Sami + Sami, the dynamic duo behind the brand “form” and co-hosts of the Transform podcast. They share their unique journey from the inception of their joint business venture to blending friendship with professionalism. We talk about the art of communication, navigating difficult conversations, and the importance of transparency in their partnership. Sami B. opens up about her personal weight loss journey, shedding light on the realities of embracing weightlifting and debunking the myth of quick fixes in fitness. Meanwhile, Sami C. opens up about her introduction to fitness, the struggle of identifying one's purpose, and how the podcast has influenced their personal lives and perspectives. The conversation further explores the challenge of dealing with differing opinions in the health and wellness industry, the significance of self-compassion through various life stages, and the healing power of sharing personal stories. Both Sami B. and Sami C. discuss their individual paths to mental well-being, the importance of setting boundaries, and how embracing the messiness of growth leads to true wellness. This episode promises a heartfelt look into personal transformation, the strength of friendship, and the continuous journey towards wellness. Leave Me a Message - click here! For Mari’s Instagram click here! For Pursuit of Wellness Podcast’s Instagram click here! For Mari’s Newsletter click here! For Sami C.’s instagram click here! For Sam B.’s instagram click here! For the Transform podcast click here! For Transform’s instagram click here! For form’s instagram click here! Sponsored by: Right now, Chomps is offering our listeners 20% off your first order and free shipping when you go to Chomps.com/POW Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to sundaysfordogs.com/POW or use code POW at checkout. Seed Oil Scout is available globally for iOS and Android, download at seedoilscout.com/pow today! Topics Discussed: 02:36 - Introduction to Sami + Sami, founders of form and cohosts of Transform 04:18 - The beginning of Sami + Sami 08:50 - Mixing friends and work 16:34 - Communication and having hard conversations 21:48 - Sami B’s Weight Loss Journey 32:41 - Lifting Weights 36:08 - No quick fix 38:13 - Sami C’s intro to fitness  47:15 - Not knowing your purpose 49:41 - Impact of podcast on personal life 54:11 - Navigating different opinions in the health and wellness space 58:20 - Compassion for all versions of yourself 01:04:40 - Sami B’s healing and journey of grief 01:09:38 - Positive impact of podcasts and sharing your journey 01:15:06 - Sami C’s mental journey and setting boundaries 01:24:22 -  Growth comes from messy versions of yourself 01:30:20 - Wellness to Sami B is prioritizing and loving herself 01:30:58 - Wellness to Sami C is a way of living

When you experience death, it changes your lens of life. When you see how fragile life is, you show up in your day-to-day differently. Your words matter more. Your hugs matter more. Every day and every second just matters more because it's a gift. We're all in our own bodies every single day.

We are all facing so many challenges. And to forget the humanness that we are living, like we can't forget that. This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. Hi guys, welcome back to the show. Today we have a very special episode with two people I love very, very much. We are finally talking to Sammy Clark and Sammy Spalter of the Form app and of the podcast Transform. I have been friends with these two for a while and they both have such unique journeys. If you guys didn't know, Sammy Spalter, aka Sammy Berntonstein has been on a very

similar journey to me she lost over 70 pounds and really transformed who she is inside and out and in this episode we talk about her weight loss journey we also talk about the loss of her mother and her grief journey i think it's a really good episode to listen to if you have struggled with that. We got really deep and emotional. I will tell you now there were a lot of tears in this episode. So it's an emotional one, but a really important episode too. We also spoke with Sammy Clark, who has been on her own personal journey to finding self-love. She really spoke about the importance of allowing yourself to be messy and imperfect and that's where the best transformation comes from. So talking about Sammy's personal transformation and her mindset shift over the past year was also really special and I just have to say I applaud both the Sammies for allowing themselves to be vulnerable with me

because I know how challenging it can be and this episode was truly so vulnerable we go all over the map talking about self-love fitness you know being a face of a brand online and talking about their emotional journeys so with that said I really hope you guys love this episode. It is such a moving one. Let's hop right in. Please don't forget to subscribe, follow and leave a review. Love you guys so much. Let's talk to Sammy and Sammy. Today, I have two very, very special guests on my show. These two have been very grounding friendships in my life. We have a lot of overlap personally and professionally. And we were talking about this yesterday, but this space can feel very competitive, but it never has with you two. I feel like we have leaned on each other,

hyped each other up, been there for every milestone. And I'm so excited to have them on the show. They are the founders of Form, co-hosts of the Transform podcast, Sammy C and Sammy B. Welcome to the show. Thanks Mari. Thanks for having us Mari. Oh my god. Such a generous intro. I was on Transform yesterday and I felt like we had such a good flow and I felt so good afterwards.

It felt like we were just hanging out, which is the nicest part. Which we needed a catch up. Yeah. So like it was kind of perfect timing yeah it was it was it was really special i felt like i left with my cup full which is always the best feeling best feeling so for anyone who's just listening and not watching let's differentiate the voices sammy c hello hello no i don't actually sound like that hi guys so yeah guys that's the difference in the Hello, Sammy B. Hello, hello. No, I don't actually sound like that. Hi, guys. So yeah, guys, that's the difference in the voices. But I will be saying Sammy C, Sammy Clark and Sammy B, even though you're Sammy S now.

I know. I know, guys. You have like 40 names. Changing your name when you get married is like a whole nother identity crisis. I know we'll get to my weight loss, which is one thing, but like transforming more than just that this year. I haven't changed my name yet because I was getting my citizenship when I got married and I was like, let me not throw this in the mix right now. Yeah, it's a process. It's too much. So I'd love to start with hearing how you two met because I actually don't even know the story and I think it will give great context as

to your relationship and how everything started. it might be our favorite thing to talk about ever I'm like looking at Sammy with hard eyes right now I know we literally call each other our work wives like we fell in love in friendship in like the weirdest sense of the way but truly it was just one of those immediate things where you meet someone in life and it's a gift from the universe sam do you want to take it or you want me to oh you keep going baby all right you're like keep going get from the universe i like it okay so our my husband and sammy's fiancee are both from scottsdale and they grew up together they went went to middle school together. We always say shout out Copper Ridge Middle because thank God for Copper Ridge.

That's how we basically met. And they reconnected. We were all living in LA, literally living less than half a mile apart. And the boys were like, let's get the Sammies together for a walk. This was during the pandemic. This is during the time where

really none of us were going out. So a walk was This was during the pandemic. This is during the time where really none of us were going out. So a walk was the perfect activity. And we started these weekly walks where we'd essentially come together and talk about life. We would talk about what we were working on for ourselves, what we wanted from our careers. Again, just like one of those immediate friendships where both of our hearts were on the table in the most beautiful way and week after week the boys started to not come as much and it was just Sammy and I becoming very quick best friends and really just sharing the deepest parts of ourselves in the most safe setting and also really leaning on each other because there was an immediate balance of,

you know, I was in the middle of my wellness journey and really had always looked up to Sammy and just the gifts that she gives us all through movement and through so much more. And Sammy was at this pivotal point of her career where she was going live on Instagram every day, hosting thousands of women to get their daily movement during a pandemic, knowing that she had this opportunity, but not knowing how to create the business around it. And in my previous career, I ran a huge marketing agency, influencer marketing agency specifically, and had built many businesses, understood exactly what we needed, you know, preformed, not even knowing the brand name at that point. And I think, again, it was just that immediate trust. And I was taking pause after

exiting my agency and really kind of having this moment of self of knowing that I needed to dive deeper into myself to figure out what I wanted to do next. And everything and every moment we shared was just an immediate sign that I wanted to build something with Sammy. I wanted it for me and everyone needed it for them. And I'll never forget the day that I sent Sammy a text saying, hey, I think it's me. I think I'm your girl. I think we do this. And it was literally, I describe it as that moment where you text a cute boy and

you throw your phone because you're like, oh shit, I just did that. And I'm like literally blushing over here like, gosh, remember that time? It really was like this whole moment of whoa. I remember where I was. I was in Dallas visiting my grandparents. Andrew and I were driving to their house and I look at him and I go, I'm just going to do it. Like, this is so heavy on my heart in the best way. I'm just going to text Sammy. I did it and literally threw my phone by my feet in the car.

Like, I just can't even look. It's so crazy because it seems so meant to be. And like, I can imagine the discussions. You're like, what should we do? Like, how should we make this happen? And of course you're like, it's so crazy because it seems so meant to be and like I can imagine the discussions you're like what should we do like how should we make this happen and of course you're like it's me yeah I don't think anything in life is a coincidence I think you put out what you want to receive and like truly we created that yeah I think when I met Sammy, all the above. BS, a little bullshit over here. I felt something different. And you meet those people where you're like,

oh, you're going to be something in my life. I don't know exactly what. And I can either lean in and listen to what this is, or I could be fearful and think about all the things that could go wrong here. So when she sent me that message, honestly, I had like a, whoa, I can't believe she sent me this because I think that I knew, again, she would be a part of my life, but to be a part of my life in this way, for me, I always thought friendship and business don't mesh. Like you don't become business partners with a friend. And that's just the culture that I knew before starting a business. And I went to JT and I was like, Sammy sent me this message.

And his fear came up too of, oh my gosh, Andrew's one of my great friends. I don't want to lose them. Like truly that was like the energy that you are around of people. They say like marriage is easier than a business, like getting into partnerships. So we both reflected and we were like, there's no one else that I would wanna do this alongside. Like why wouldn't I wanna be alongside someone

I look up to I think is amazing and has such moral values that align with myself of what I wanted to create and is an operational genius where I felt so safe. Yeah, I can talk about you. I felt so safe and felt so like this was a message from the universe and it's either I could let fear take over or I could actually choose love and know that we could do something really special. And from there, it's just been actually magic. It's actually something I feel so passionate about talking

or I feel so passionate about talking about because I think it's very unique what we are creating. Like I get advice from, you know, older people or people that have done this and they've been burned so bad. And I get that. I think that we have created something that's really unique. You have.

And I listened to your first episode, How to Make 2024 Your Year, and you said letting go of the shoulds of the world. And I feel like that plays into this exact topic because it's, I mean, me included, Greg and I get a lot of advice from older people or people who have done it a different way. And it's like, we're doing things that are unprecedented.

It's a new time. We're young. Even me and Fi, I'm relating a lot to what you guys are saying, because I have a lot of people question mine and Fi's relationship. And when I met Fi, I was like, you are in this for the long haul. Like, we are going to be friends, work together or something for the rest of my life. Like, you just feel that way about some people. you hold on to them tight because when you work well with someone, you work well with someone, you know? Exactly. And if you want something to be a certain way, just create that. And I think Sammy and I wanted a partnership that was based on enjoying each other's company, having true honesty. And I think that's where I've seen people get burned is it feels like

you need to have one handout, like you might hurt me. And in business, I actually think that there needs to be so much trust that your partner, whoever you're bringing in, you know, they won't hurt you. And I'd rather live, I know she won't hurt me. And if something ever happened, then that's the way that is rather than living with that. Oh, she could hurt me energy. And there's just such a separation in the way that you work together and breed together within a company because a company is no joke to start. It is like a baby. So to have that trust and that communication of this person has my back, I have theirs, and we're ready to create magic together we knew we wanted to start that culture from the beginning as you guys know we recently got a brand new puppy arnold he's an english cocker spaniel and when we brought him in the house i knew i wanted to feed him the best food

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flavors and get 20% off your first order and free shipping. That's chomps.com slash pow. Don't forget to use the link so they know we sent you. So well said, and I couldn't agree more. I had an epiphany recently. I used to be, you know, we've talked about my discipline and, you know, what I learned from my fitness journey. And I used to be pretty intense with the way that I handled work. And I was like, we can have fun at work. Absolutely. Do you know what I mean? And I know that sounds kind of simple and basic, but I had this realization with Fi. I was like, we can laugh and enjoy. I mean, it's a podcast, you know, like it's supposed to be fun. And how lucky are we that it is fun? Yes. I think in life, I talk about this pretty often. So many people separate work and life and they show up as a different version of themselves in work and life. When you have that fluidity and you have such

a proud sense of self in both. And as female entrepreneurs, being able to lead with softness, lead with our heart, but also have that masculine energy and be these powerhouses, but always tapping into just like the magic that our hearts have. That is why we get to go the extra mile. That is why we get to create these cultures that we have. That is why our businesses are the way that they are. Like Sammy and I's dynamic totally bleeds into the rest of our team. I love that. And I do think there's a lot of conversation around like work life balance, which is a thing, you know, like I really try to keep my work nine to five, even though I don't need to, it helps me separate. But at the same time, I love this shit and I want to do it all

day. And we talk about it all day because we love it. And that's okay. I think the way we think about work has definitely shifted a lot over the years. As best friends and work partners, are there any tools you guys use to keep the relationship strong? I mean, my brain just goes directly to communication. I think communications are superpower. I think that, you know, I could sit here and say, like, we don't fight because we don't. But that's the easy way to say we know how to have the hard and healthy conversations. And I think that's true in any relationship in life. And the trust that we share for each other, the respect that we share for each other, the love that we always have for each other is always in the room. But at the end of the day, there's conversations that have to happen.

You know, it is business, quote unquote, right? So we're really, really great at carrying our hearts in the hard but healthy conversations. Yeah, I think I could piggyback so hard on that. And Sammy's honestly showed me communication so much. We talk about the most taboo conversations, money, just discomfort in certain areas. And to be able to talk about it and be truly honest and come from a place where you know she's coming from love, I'm coming from love. That's that foundation that was built where I can truly say whatever, even if it might be really, really uncomfortable, is the biggest gift I would say even as business partners that they should have.

And then best friends, of course. I also think from the beginning, what has worked for us is Sammy had her professional roles and I had mine. My dream was to be the creative and just to bring so much of the heart in the way that I teach workouts, that I bring affirmations, anything that's on my heart to share and to have someone who wasn't like, oh, I want the exact same role as you and was like, oh baby, I want to do all the other things was such a beautiful way to start as well. Obviously we've evolved. We now have a podcast together, which is also the beautiful thing. But I am no fitness trainer. But she's no fitness trainer. But you also love

the fact that Sammy shines in her way. Yes. But I think there was no ego ever because that foundation started there, too. Like, again, to start with. Now we have a podcast together as best friends, business partners. The reason that works is because there's no ego there. Like, truly. And I even talk about communication. I truly voice memo Sammy, like, Ooh, I'm having an ego moment. I'm feeling these certain ways about this certain thing. Like I am so brutally honest, but it's the way that she receives it every time of knowing that it's coming from such heart and love. And she just knows me so well. And I know her so well. So we affirm each other in such beautiful ways. Yeah. I think you need to really know yourself to know how you can serve your career and your business too. Yeah. And when Sammy and I,

you know, agreed to partner together and to build the beauty of what is form, if I was sitting in that saying, no, it's because I want to be her, that would have never led to this. Yeah. A hundred percent%. There was never any of that. I wanted to shine where I know I could serve, where I have confidence in my business and my career and what I offer on a whole different side. And to the trust in what Sammy's already created and the respect for that and allowing her to shine in that. And that takes a certain type of person.

Yeah, that's such a self-awareness thing to have in the beginning. Like when I was having conversations with Sammy, I talked to many other people when I was thinking about starting a company that it was honestly such an ego conversation. Like I can do this. I got this going.

I know I have this on my list. That was my man, man making fun of voice because I did talk to a lot of men like that wanted to be alongside me, honestly, because I knew what I needed. Your female woman's health.

I don't think that would have worked. Truly thinking back to those partnerships because I was looking for someone to come in and just like, let's rock and roll. Like I wasn't looking

to run the business at all because I wanted to stay so true to my lane. So it would not have worked. And I think me checking in my gut every time I talk to someone because I had to do that because they had huge girls on their list that they've blown up and made it to be something. But when I talked to Sammy, she was completely my cheerleader. She was invested and so fascinated by myself. She also knew me in the sense that she had her own journey.

And that was what sparked me. I'm like, and also the way she lived her life. Like I loved watching her at the time it was her boyfriend, like watching her values and her morals match so much with mine that I'm like, this is the type of person that I want to be alongside of me forever because she is doing and prioritizing the things that are important to me. Yeah. I respect that so much. And it's so lovely to see you guys now. Clearly it was the right move because you're crushing. Sammy, you're coming more in the front now with the podcast and talking a little bit more about

your story. And I know a ton of people are curious. You and I have very similar weight loss stories. You lost 80 pounds. I lost 90 pounds, very similar. And I'm very curious because I don't fully know your story. Talk us through a little bit, Like what was the journey for you? I know it's so beyond a physical change. So much of it is internal. How has it been to talk about that more? Can you tell us more about that journey? Yeah, I think even in just talking about my career, I have always found such comfort in just leaning on my brain. Like being on the business side for me allows me to show up in a very comfortable setting and yeah this is the first time in my life where I'm really leaning into my heart and soul in a public way and it's not easy but like truly doing it alongside Sammy is the best gift of it all because she's shown me the way to do it with just such grace. And I know and staying true to me

that whoever needs to hear this is going to hear it. And whoever it resonates with is the reason why I want to share more. Because honestly, when I, I don't really think I ever had a rock bottom, to be honest. I think I needed a lot of help at certain points in my life. And I never really had the story to inspire me or to give me hope or to show me how it can be done. So I think a lot of my journey was me needing to throw what I thought was my identity out the window and actually sit with myself and understand what is actually possible. I had struggled with weight my entire life. I remember in first grade knowing, I don't know why this was a thing, but like they would weigh us for like PE or something. And I was the heaviest person in my class in first grade. I was six years old.

Truly, I mean, we could go down such a rabbit hole of stories of just insecurities and mean comments that I still remember from, you know, just being a preteen and then going into high school. I'll never forget the summer from middle school to high school. I got my braces off and my dad bought me a hair straightener. Finally, I have such Jewish curly hair. And now I actually love embracing my curls curls but I started straightening my hair and I got my braces off and I think I got like my eyebrows waxed or something and I'm sitting down the first day of freshman year of high school and a guy that I'd grown up with goes oh my god you're like the caterpillar who turned into a butterfly like what happened I'm like oh shit I never really saw myself that way yeah but you know when you know, when you're living in a superficial universe,

you're kind of reminded of the way people see you. And you never forget those moments. I'll never forget them, but I'm grateful for them now. You know, like in high school, a girl said I'd be the prettiest girl in school if I would just lose 50 pounds. Oh my gosh. And I'm like, dude, I already think so highly of myself.

Honestly, like I've've that's what's interesting about my story and what i'll never pretend is that my favorite thing about me has always been my warmth my smile my personality so thank god for that you have the best smile in the world thank you like it really it's so contagious and when i think about you i think of your smile truly it says everything with just oh my gosh yeah it's pain for you guys thank you guys and i think like the amount that i love just showing up and bringing light into a room through something as simple as smiling at someone showed me that like i didn't need to prioritize my body as much. I also, you know, was living in a very dysfunctional house, broken home.

Again, grateful for all the trauma that came out of that too. It made me a very resilient human being. I can handle literally anything and everything. Like no matter what curveball life throws my way, I know I can handle it. And that to say about myself is such an achievement. But food was a coping thing for me. Food was a place where my brain would turn off and I'm just eating. I don't know what I'm eating. I have no education around what I'm eating. In high school, I swam and played water polo. So I was active, but I had these eating habits. I remember before a swim meet, I wanted like a little something and I made like a whole tray of chicken nuggets, like an entire baking sheet of chicken nuggets.

And I ate all of them before a swim meet. Like, how was I not sick, you know? But I just, there was no recollection, no reasoning. I just, you don't know what you don't know. And then I went to college and, you know, that's really that first taste of freedom for a lot of us, right? And I have my dining hall pass and, you know, I'm checking in before class and, oh my God, they have fro-yo

before my 8 a.m. psychology class. Why the hell not? Why would I use and oh my god they have fro-yo before my 8 a.m psychology class why the hell not why would I use milk when I can use vanilla fro-yo like that's creative that's fun well that you know can add up to some things and basically by the time I graduated college I weighed 200 pounds I had no idea I weighed 200 pounds. But again, still carried this warmth within me. I moved to LA after I graduated. And I think your environment shows things about you. In college, I was surrounded by people who were honestly eating similarly to me.

It just had different genetics. So it was showing different. I was drinking a lot. I've never liked alcohol. My family, a lot of people in my immediate family have struggled with alcohol. It's just I have a dirty relationship with it. So I don't. I really, really drink now.

But I would drink to blackout in college all the time yeah all the time I moved to LA and like there's a little less of that and people are ordering things that I wasn't as familiar with and I was just sitting in this new environment kind of understanding like okay I wasn't thinking like whoa look so different, which I did from my peers, but really like my actions are different. And I'll never forget, I had my first doctor's appointment. You know, you move to a new city, you get your new doctor and you go in and they asked me to get on the scale. And this is when I found out I was 200 pounds. And I mean, that number for me as someone, I mean, I'm five, three for context, that number hearing that I was just like, oh my God, I have a problem. And in that doctor's appointment, I said, I need a nutritionist.

I need help. I got a nutritionist. And this was back in 2018. I got a nutritionist. Immediately, they put me on keto. Oh my gosh. I went through it too, babe. Yeah. And I say now I'm grateful for the self-discipline it

taught me but I was living in a box yeah I was living in a literal prison cell that is the keto diet for what that did to me and it made me struggle with my mental health for sure um but I did it for I, really strictly for like a year. And then was like kind of keto for another year. And then just maintained what I thought was, you know, this new identity. Like I was so proud I had lost all this weight at that point. I had lost like 40, 50 pounds. And, you know, it's interesting in that

first, I kind of think of it as like my first phase, I learned so much self-discipline. I learned so much self-worth. I learned that like, I can really create what I want out of this life, out of this world. And at that point I had met my now husband and I remember talking to him one day, and this is after I've maintained this new weight for like a year or so. I was like, I kind of want more. Like I kind of, like I'm already feeling great. Like I love my new lifestyle, but I kind of want more. I want to know what else is possible for me. And again, it wasn't just about the weight loss. I was already feeling strong. I was fitting in clothes I never thought was possible. I mean, at this point, I weighed less than I did in high school, but I wanted more and I think we all have these limiting beliefs and I was struggling with that but I took that as a moment to kind of check in and say let's see this is one of those partnerships I get so excited about because I talk about it all the time. It's seed oil scout. So you guys know we've talked about the harmful effects of using seed oils like canola oil. And it's something

that I really try to avoid when I go out to eat because it can have such a lasting impact on our health. And that's where I found seed oil scout is the best way of sourcing restaurants that aren't using seed oils. And more than that, seed oil scout is also sourcing restaurants that aren't using seed oils and more than that seed oil scout is also sourcing labels for over 10 000 restaurants and showing us where they use grass-fed beef wild fish organic produce and gluten-free options which is absolutely amazing it's amazing for travel when you're in a new city seed oil scout has identified the truly healthy restaurants in every major u.s metro making it an incredible resource for travel. Whenever I go back to New York, I use Seed Oil Scout because that can be a tricky place to figure out. When we first moved

to Austin, we were trying to make dinner reservations and find a great place that used healthy oils. And we found that Dai Due, which has a verified blue check on Seed Oil Scout, sourced their meat from incredible local farms and used zero seed oils which is amazing seed oil scout is available globally for ios and android download at seed oil scout.com slash pow today at the time my movement was actually something that I knew I could change. Mari, I think we have a lot of this in common. I was afraid of lifting weights. I just, I thought, you know, like really big, strong people do that.

So if I do that, I'm going to get quote unquote big. And Sammy Clark, thank God for her her showed me that when you lift you're actually gaining so much muscle that in turn is burning so much fat it changed my body yeah it's wild i mean your arms right now i love my arms i love your arms shredded bro i love my arms yeah it's like i think to me it makes women look more feminine yeah it accentuates the curves and you just look like sculpted i love that you compliment on her arms because on her wedding day i trained her in the morning which was so beautiful or the day before you slept in on the morning of your wedding and she was like sam we're doing arms because that was like sam's thing she was like i really i called us both Sam. I know it's so confusing guys, but literally what he meant. I know, I know,

but she wanted to do arms and she knew how she wanted to feel on her wedding day and her arms were part of that. And I remember I took a photo. I could get emotional about it at her, um, at her at a rehearsal dinner. And I took a photo of her arms and I was just like, I'm just so proud of you. Like, look how amazing you look beyond your arms. I knew she like felt the best she's ever felt in her life,

but she wanted those arms to be something that she felt so proud of, which was strong, which was with these weights. And this girl was like, not afraid to lift those weights anymore. And I felt so proud as being a part of that, like, hell yes. Hell yes. You looked strong and you are strong. I think that's what's so beautiful about your story. And just hearing that mindset that opened up for you when you started your journey,

it's like, oh, I can really do anything. Isn't it crazy that fitness can do that for someone? I'm so grateful for fitness. It has been the most therapeutic aspect of my life. Even like in my hardest times, 2023 was really hard for me honestly and I think fitness showed me that everything that's happening in the universe is not happening to me yes it's really happening for me you know i could have been brought into this world with a faster metabolism girl i know like truly everything that is happening in my life is a gift and it

makes me stronger yeah and the way i show up for myself now is through that movement is through the food that i get to eat because i know it is through that movement is through the food that I get to eat because I know it makes me feel great is through the business that we get to create because my heart and soul is so tied in it because I need it so much yeah it saved my life I feel the same way and it's beautiful to connect with someone because I feel like when you go through that it's almost difficult to put into words like what it means to you because as we were talking about yesterday people see the before and after and they hear the number of weight you've lost and they want to hear like oh what did you do what was the quick fix and it's like that yeah no no that is kind of where

this conversation for me gets difficult yeah you know I've posted maybe like four reels in my life. Like literally, I'm just tiptoeing into the world that is the internet and like that is Instagram. And I like showing what can be possible for someone. But if I were to try to put all that it took and the day-to-day effort that changed my life into a 30 second reel, there's no way. And that's why I'm so grateful for the gift that is podcasting. And that is exactly why we started Transform and that why I was able to lean in. Did you follow Sammy before you guys met? Yeah. Oh, I knew Sammy. I literally, the hot pink 10 minute abs, like that video, if you're a Sammy Clark fan, you know what I'm talking about. I think it has like 20 million

views on YouTube. I think I've seen it. I've literally done it hundreds of times. Which I'm so glad that's the video that blew up because literally I monetized zero on that because I posted that as my first work this is how like I did not know the YouTube world I had rap playing in the background literally could not monetize that it's a great and it's in my empty house that I just moved into so it's hilarious that that one did blow up but yeah it always happens that way yeah it's meant to be but truly like I was so grateful for the gift that is Sammy Clark before I had the opportunity to package that up and serve it up to the entire universe to be what we have now wow yeah it's really I'm blown away and I think it's because I kind of knew the story but I really wanted to hear it from you guys and just hearing like the personal connection to the mission that

you're on I mean that's why we're in these seats, right? It's because we really actually care and we've been through it, you know? Sammy, I know you had a little bit of a different intro to fitness. I'd love to hear about how you got so passionate about what you do today. Yeah, I am really grateful because I actually grew up in a household where fitness was really big um my brother's in bodybuilding my dad is a 6'3 230 all muscle man like giant teddy bear like truly and my mom was an aerobics teacher growing up so to honest, sports was really big in my family. I'm one of five. Everyone was just really active. And that was something that I am so grateful now that was part of my life. I also had home cooked meals by my mom.

And I will say I'm really grateful. I think she did a really good job of not restricting us too much where I actually felt like I was missing out. She just did a beautiful way of when we would go out, we could get a soda, but it wasn't in the house. She would give us meals where we always felt energized, and then we would feel sick sometimes when we'd eat certain things, and she talked to us about it. So I am really grateful for that upbringing. And then when I moved to Los Angeles, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was definitely the girl that was in high school for the friendships, for the relationships,

not for the academics. And my parents knew that. My grades were very telling. Mine too. Yeah, it was just not for me. It really was not. And I'm grateful again, they did not push me. Both my parents didn't go to college either.

And they were successful where I think that they saw, Sam, you can do whatever you want to do, but you need to put your mind to something at least right now. So at the time I'm 5'10". I got hit up by a modeling scout. They're like, come to Los Angeles. My brother was living there at the time. So I just jumped on the wagon, moved to LA, moved to LA and jumped into modeling. It was fine. Truly, I was there for the fun. Again, the relationships I was building,

the fun I was having. I just was enjoying my Los Angeles time, but truly had zero desire for what I was doing. And I think that was a really hard part for me was going through, moved to LA when I was 17 and all the way up to like 21. People, of course, in Los Angeles would ask, what do you do for work? What do you like about it? And I truly would be like, I could care less, but I had drive in me. But when I would bring up modeling, I'm just like, this is not it for me. This is not my purpose here. I don't know what it is yet. So I'm just going to keep kind of saying yes to the things that are opening and see what happens. So during this time, I definitely did not bring my mom's habits of how you should eat into my life.

I had to choose it for myself, which I think happens to a lot of girls when they go to college. And I had to cook my own meals. You know, I had to just decide for myself. And in that time, I had a roommate that ate a lot of fast food. She was another model with a metabolism of speed lightning. And, you know. God bless them. No, truly. She was. I mean, listen, we all have our thing, right? We have acne, lightning. And, you know. God bless them. No, truly, she was.

I mean, listen, we all have our thing, right? We have acne, whatever. Yeah, right. We all, it all, you know, I love, we actually, Jessica Stone, one of our dear friends who is like a little woo-woo, but she's like, everything evens out. You know, that girl has the metabolism,

but guess what? You have no idea what's going on behind doors at home or it all evens out. But there to say, she had a fast metabolism. We were eating fast food. Taco Bell was my favorite. And I would still sprinkle in what my mom did show me because I knew it made me feel better. But I think I was just lazy and just kind of having fun at the end of the day. There was this time where, and excuse me, at this time, I was also working out for sure. That was something

that did make me feel good since I was younger. I grew up as a dancer, a cheerleader, where moving my body, the connection to what I have to my body now is so different than back then. But back then it did make me feel so good. It gave me so much dopamine. It made me feel energized. I did like the way my body looked. So I knew that that had to be part of it. Soon to figure out the food had to be even the bigger part of it. So what was happening was I was working out a lot. And I've actually shared this a lot in the beginning of my journey on Instagram was I was working out so much, but my body was not actually what it is now because I was eating so crappy. So if you ever hear like skinny fat, like I kind of was like soft girly, but I was skinny, but I was really soft. I had no muscle,

but I was training a lot. I had a personal trainer because I loved it. I was taking Pilates. Like I loved moving my body. So there was this kind of moment where I was really fascinated of why I wasn't feeling as great as I had before. And I decided to change my eating habits. I decided to start cooking at home. I started following different people on Instagram and just being really fascinated with food, with moving your body. And this was the first time I ever felt like a spark in my gut, which felt really good, right? Like I was looking for that, searching for that, but I didn't know this could actually be anything. So it was just almost a hobby or a way of living for me.

As I was doing this, I remember on set models would be like, how do you look like that? Again, skinny fat was like a thing where they could start to see my arm muscles. They could start to see my core. And I think I just carried myself with a certain energy of feeling really good. Like my mental health was really good. And so I started to tell models like come on over I would love to bring you through a workout I would love to share with you my meals because again it was just something that I was like I'm obsessed with this let's do it then Instagram stories came out I think it was around 2017 I'm not I feel like it was I used to go hard on stories. Okay. Yeah. I feel like before Instagram stories, the filters like that, that still sometimes exist.

And I'm like, take them off. I know. But I feel like Instagram, the feed was nothing. I was posting like my modeling book at that time. And again, this stuff was giving me flat energy. And I don't live off of, if you know me, I live off of only heart. So I think that I was just going through life of like, give me something. And when Instagram stories came out, I don't know what came in me, but it was something like, Sam, just start sharing

your days, like start sharing your meals, start sharing things that light you up, your journaling. And I started to share it. And as I did, the influx of messages coming in of like, wow, why did you do that type of move? Why do you feel so good? What's that journaling routine you're doing? Like, I need to know everything. And again, because it was truly something I could talk about all day long, I just started responding to everyone. I started sharing all of these things and soon to be then YouTube came. I obviously was doing it all wrong, creating tons of workouts for free where people were getting all these amazing workouts, but I loved it. But that's how it starts. Like you got to like take some L's sometimes. You do because at the end of the day, it was

true passion for me. Like I didn't even care to make a dollar. I remember so clearly, you guys, when I was 17 to 21, not knowing what you want to do, it is so frustrating. And so like, what is my purpose in life? Why am I here energy? And I think I was so honestly emotional, confused. I would ask people, I would get on the phone with people like, tell me how I figure out what I'm supposed to do. Like I can't figure it out. And someone gave me the advice of do something that if you didn't make any money, you would continue doing it. And that was a light bulb for me because I was like, the only thing I could think of is like literally my lifestyle. That's what I could talk about all day. So through that, I started doing tons of YouTube, Instagram, of course. And then it was the pandemic that I feel to my core, all of that free work that I did,

all of that work that I did on myself, pandemic was time for me to show up for this community. It was like, all right, Sam, you need to show up for these people that are losing their minds. They don't know what to do with themselves. They're trapped in their house. They're going through so many emotions with this pandemic. You need to show up for them. So during this time, I did workouts five times a week on Instagram. So there was like 5,000 people on each live. And then two to three times a week, I would bring on almost like this, which is crazy full circle podcast. I bring on a guest to talk about mental health, how we can look out for ourselves what we could do during this time such a dark time where I found myself being

able to be the light in and then from there building that community I knew I wanted to bring a place for them to go to that was everything that I've learned my voice in it and that's how form ended up being the baby that's how form was formed that's beautiful and I think the pandemic was really transformative for so many people and just to hear like you I think a lot of women will appreciate you talking about not knowing your purpose because it almost feels like this extra existential for many people. And I think a lot of young girls are confused now because there's so many options. It's almost like, what is the right thing? You know? Yeah. I think us also having to be knowing what we want to do at such a young age

feels so weird to me. I know. I feel like I'm still figuring it out. Absolutely. I found something I'm so passionate about. I relate to you in so many ways, but then I'm like evolving over time too. That I think is the magic of, I think always doing something in the way that you're pursuing towards something. And guess what? Those doors will open towards actually the thing you're supposed to be doing. But being told that you need to know right out of high school that you, or even in college, I feel like to know what you're supposed to meant to do in life is a question I don't think is right, honestly. Yeah. I think it comes down to being open to saying yes, but knowing yourself well enough to be discerning to say no. Yeah. And I think you don't know until you try. And I'm grateful for

all the moments and opportunities I had that showed me what I did not want to do. Because it makes you know when you do want to do something. I agree. Sam and I always say it's either a hell yeah or hell no. And I think having that level of self to be that discerning is such a gift. So work on yourself before you think the universe is just going to gift you with the dream career that feels so right. You got to know you to know what you want to do. Yeah. And again, I think trying things, write down a list of all of your favorite things that bring you joy. Nowadays, I know the options are endless, but you really can create a business out of anything. Like truly from Etsy, from Instagram,

from helping someone with their dog, like there is a job for everything. So anything that brings you the most joy and then the self-awareness of how much money do you actually want to make to make you happy? You know, some people don't want to be millionaires. Perfect. Then what does your dream day look like? and start really asking yourself those questions so that you're not just trying to follow what everyone else is doing I feel like entrepreneurship has never been so easy it's just a matter of like finding the thing that really lights you up this is kind of a question for both of you but with health and fitness and I've experienced this a little bit when it goes from being your passion and something you love doing, and it continues being your passion, but it's also your job, and you're also the face of a brand.

Has that affected your relationship with healthy eating, fitness? Like, has it ever become negative for you? Yes, it has. I think for me, it's become negative because I feel like I can't do wrong. That's just what I maybe hold myself to. So if I am not looking the way that I want to look or maybe I have allowed others to expect me to look, it can be really hard on me mentally. Um, you know, comments of, you know, she's not what she used to be or, oh, she's too skinny now. You know, I fluctuate as any human too, and it matters what I'm going on, what's going on in my life. So I think the pressure that I put on myself truly to stay exactly how I started is probably the hardest part. And then also I think I am evolving and

changing too. So I think where I started as well is not exactly how I eat the same, not exactly how I lift the same. I mean, now I do Pilates and strength. The good thing is that everything that I'm passionate about that I am changing, I bring on the form. Yeah. So I will say I let the community evolve with me because I can't just stay the same from six years ago. Like I really is just not in my DNA, my body, my mind, it craves change. It craves more, it craves different. So I think as long as I'm inviting everyone into my journey and showing the process and the story, then I actually feel like it's not this like identity shift that's happening because they were along for the process.

But that's something I've had to really be okay with and know that my community is okay with too. And they actually do want to know. Yeah. And I think, you know know I've experienced the same sort of like realizing that our brand was kind of built on my story and loving that and feeling really in line with my story but also feeling like wow a lot of eyes are on me and this brand is you know it's not in the same place now but it used to be very reliant on me and my posts and my image and I got to a place where I

was over obsessing about the way I looked the way I showed up every day the food I put in my mouth and it was the first time I ever struggled with my relationship with food and I think I had to just like really separate my body from like performance and value. I love that you're talking about this because I think I'm like the protector of Sammy in this a lot of the time. And truly with what we're building within Form, this is why like we just held a community photo shoot. Like one out of protection for Sammy,

but also one out of honoring the diversity that is our community. And I think that's something that I am just so passionate about and a place that I want to step in, a place that I want to step into so deeply. And I mean, even just the other day, it was 4 p.m. on a Tuesday and I went downstairs after a big meeting and I literally got my Simple Mills brownies I baked out of the fridge. I'm like, I'm going to freaking eat a quarter of this. And I was here for it. I loved it. I'm like, you know what?

I want to share this moment. I don't want to share my perfect lunch that was plated to health perfection right now. I want to share me stuffing my face with brownies. Yep. my face with brownies. And I think in this health and wellness industry, if we're all striving to be perfection, we're going to live in that box I was referring to. So I think within form and within our community, we really celebrate just being you, like honoring you and what you look like. And I think that's why we are bringing so much of our community story to the forefront of form so that everyone can find a place that they feel welcome. Because I was that girl who

couldn't walk into a gym. I was that girl who didn't even want to take myself shopping for activewear because I didn't know what size I was. I was triggered left and right and couldn't start because no one looked like me. So really bringing this sense of relatability into health and wellness is so necessary right now. So necessary. And I feel like even in the podcast space, there's a lot of absolute ideas, like one end of the spectrum, the other end of the spectrum. And I have guests on my show where it's confusing. I know what you're talking about. Oh my gosh everyone has different studies and different opinions and what I always try to tell the girls listening is take

from it what you need and I try to do the same like let's say I have a guest on who's all about eating meat right maybe I'll implement more protein in my day but I'm not going to only eat meat you know take from it what you will but I do think that the fitness industry can be so intimidating if we don't share those moments. Right. And I think it's really important to talk about that. And also with like toxic products, it's like everything is fucking toxic. Yeah. It can be really defeating or overwhelming. I feel like this is where your gut comes in and your individuality and you being you is your superpower energy which Sammy always brings up because even Sammy and I are different in ways of yeah like what she eats specifically what I eat specifically it really is important

that you build that conversation with you like when you hear these podcasts and they're saying coffee's bad for you, meat's good for you, don't eat that, eat this. You really have to check in with yourself and see what pivots do I need to make for me right now to make me a better version of myself. That's actually the end goal. So instead of just trying to be the healthiest person in the entire world, unless that is your goal, but I imagine we're all just trying to be the best us. So really checking in every time you hear a set of information, is that something I need to act on right away? This is actually something I work on so deeply. I used to, when I hear information, when someone would tell me, read this book, listen to this podcast, my list was massive. And it was too overwhelming for me, where I actually would start to say,

unless I heard, listened to this podcast and it hit me right away, I'd say, I'm going to leave it on the back burner. And if it actually is meant for me to listen to, I know that I'll bring it back up into my mind and my mind will do that for me. My heart will do that for me. And a week from now, I'll actually think of that podcast and that's the time I should listen to rather than trying to do it all at once. And then it turns into a to-do list.

And we're just trying to reach measures that aren't measurable. Fantastic advice, because I get asked all the time, how do you know which thing to do? And it really is about checking in with you and also knowing that the bio-individuality of everyone's health is such a real thing. Oh my gosh.

We thrive. I mean, Greg and I eat different. We all feel different on different things so acknowledging that is so important yeah i think i get asked left and right within my weight loss journey of like okay but what did you eat and how did you work out and like that's not it truly like the bio-individuality yeah that we all have needs to be honored and respected yeah and i think it's really just this mindset of like, okay, great for you, not for me.

Like have that, have that self-awareness. Like we keep coming back to like, you need to know yourself to know what's right for you. If you're allowing everyone's opinions to be your own truth, you're gonna run in circles and you're gonna be just like everyone else when you're supposed to be you. So even down to the food that you're gonna run in circles and you're gonna be just like everyone else when you're supposed to be you so even down to the food that you're eating it's not right for people in our seats to just preach eat this work out this way that's not what we're doing we're saying this is

what works for me this is how we made it happen check in with yourself and say okay perfect for you but not for me i feel like you guys are both really good at that I feel when I'm with you guys you feel very grounded and very intentional and I really really admire that Sammy I'm curious with the weight loss journey something I struggled with I was telling you guys yesterday it was difficult for me to sort of catch up with me now because my head was still in this mindset of like, don't slip backwards. Like we need to keep progressing every single day.

Do you feel like your mind has fully caught up with the Sammy in front of us today? Or do you sometimes feel like the old Sammy? Yeah, I love this question. Every single day, I really spend time and sending so much love and light and true compassion to the past versions of me let's hear that again I know I'm like can we write that down that needs to be a meme quote no I'll make a bumper sticker I mean that is the true sorry to interrupt but like that is the true gift that you have done is the compassion for yourself I cannot like say that enough it's not easy the way we talk to

ourselves and the way that we treat ourselves compared to other people is insane so sorry continue no I love it pop off sister yeah pop off i'm feeling it we're feeling it i'm gonna like listen back to this myself because i need this advice please keep going yeah i think compassion right so when i think about what is compassion i think about looking at old pictures of myself and looking at my smile and remembering my friends at those times, remembering the trips I took, kind of getting back into my old body and still feeling the light I carried. I think it's so easy for people to look at me 80 pounds lighter and say, whoa, look at you now. I remember you when. And it's not that that hurts. I've built, you know, a thick enough outer shell to have that reflect on them versus me and my self-worth.

But I also look back to that previous version of myself and beyond the smile and beyond the fun trips and beyond the great friends, I also remember the feelings. And truly just what was buried so down deep within me, I wasn't just overweight. I was dealing with a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. And I still carried that smile. But when I look back to those photos I have to send her love she was doing the best that she could I was doing the best that I could I still am doing the best that I can and I just didn't have a toolkit back then yeah I've built my freaking toolkit that is so airtight that again, no matter what curve ball life throws my way, I know how to handle it. I'm strong enough. I'm getting stronger day by day. This is so good. I have chills. I do think that looking at my body

is something I'm still getting used to you know it's easy to say I'm proud but the hard thing to say is that I look at my stomach and I don't really believe it's mine I look at my arms and I'm like again like I love my arms but I'm not fully grasping that they're mine I look at my loose skin and I'm honoring the shit out of it because it tells a beautiful story about what my body has overcome and where I've gotten but you know it's funny like I always said how do I want to feel? I want to feel like that girl that can run around in a bikini and not give a shit. Yeah. I want to feel like that girl that walks into a room and isn't wondering what people are saying, but is just like

feeling the vibes. Right. And now I throw on my bikini and I'm running around and not giving a shit. But I look in the mirror and I'm like, wait, I'm still that same person. And I have to have compassion for the version of me that didn't do that. And I also have to be so present with me now and not feel like this imposter living in my own body. And it's challenging. It's hard. And I'm working through it. I mean, this is a journey there. I don't know if there's a finish line. And my body's going to continue to change in beautiful ways. You know, Andrew and I are talking about sooner than later starting a family. And I'm so grateful for the opportunity to get to do that. But I'm also very aware that my body is going to continue to shift. So I'm really learning right now how to accept that, how to accept that change, to be so proud of it, but to also own it and to say, this is mine.

It's crazy. When I'm working out, I'm looking at myself and I'm like like there is kind of this disconnect yeah I've experienced it too it's like a disconnect from your body when you go through such a big identity shift it's tough to catch up with it it's really hard because it happens quicker than your brain I actually would love to talk to like a neuroscientist about it. When you look different and you feel different, but you're the same person, how do you accept all of that? Yeah. Yeah. And you go through so much in the process too. It's a lot to go through. It's a lot. And I mean, look, I'm proud of what I look like. And day by day, I'm like learning that it is mine and it is me. But I also look at all the other facets of my life

that my health and fitness have allowed me to love and create. I look at my business. I look at my marriage. I look at my relationships with my family and my friends even down to the house that we've created in the home truly just taking that step for me it sounds so easy to say it was weight loss but it was my life like every facet of my life in turn changed yeah so I'm learning what my new body is what what I get to live in every single day and feel so proud of and get to move and the privilege that is that and the pleasure that is that but also all these other aspects of my life that have changed so dramatically as well I want to ask I know your mother passed recently which which I'm so sorry. And I'm sure that's

beyond painful. How has this healing journey helped you with that process too? For anyone listening who has maybe gone through something similar? Thank you for asking one because I think death is so uncomfortable for everyone else around us. No one knows how to ask, so they just don't. But when you're grieving, or at least when I'm grieving, and I'm still grieving every day too, the best thing that someone can do for me is ask about my mom because I'm thinking about her 24-7.

Like I'd be lying if I said I could get those thoughts out of my head. I want those thoughts there. I want her memories there. You know, my grief has come to a point where I was really mad for a really long time. My mom suddenly died

at 59 years old. Like there was no, there was just no moment. Take your time. But that anger has transcended into gratitude. That anger of why was my mom taken so soon has turned into, oh my gosh, every moment we had together was such a gift and continues to be such a gift. My mom's impact on my life when she was here was great. My mom's impact on my life now that she is gone is far greater. She has made me

so much more strong, so much more resilient. I feel her every day. And you know, it's funny, my mom, she was speaking to the fast metabolisms. She was born with the fastest metabolism. She literally would take back a double cheeseburger and be like, yep, give me more. But literally, she was a model my whole life. She is still just like the most beautiful person I've ever met and ever will meet. And in the last couple of years of her life is when I was in my most disciplined wellness journey. Truly day in and day out. She'd be like,

do an extra setup for me, have some cauliflower for me, have that Brussels sprout for me. Like she was so funny about it. She didn't get it. But you know what my mom did for me? Make me feel She was rail thin, 5'8", just like truly like this. She was off the runway. But my mom made me feel like I was off the runway too. She really gave me such a sense of every reason to be so proud. And I never compared myself to her. We were such different individuals and she definitely was, you know, dealing with her own demons, but she protected me. She loved me and she made me feel so beautiful.

So when I was grieving her life and as I continue to grieve her life, I think of her when I'm doing my workout and I'm doing that extra setup for her. When I'm making my healthy meal, I'm listening to all the recipes that she would find and be like, I would never eat this shit, but like, I know you would love it. I feel her day in and day out. And for anyone who's listening to this, who is grieving in any aspect of life, just know how strong you are and look to your toolkit to get through it. And if you haven't created your toolkit yet, reach out to me because I am here for you sister i truly have been there too but when you're grieving the most important thing that you need to do is show up for yourself

that's where your strength comes from wow i want to give you a hug i feel bad that i keep oh my god i love where this is I love her. This is my honestly. Shaking, shaking. This is going to benefit so many people, truly. Very proud of you. Thank you. Holy shit. That was like really very beautiful.

Also, you have her smile. Whenever you post her photo, I'm like, wow. Thank you. You're just bringing it into every room. It's really special. Thank you, guys. Thank you. You're just bringing it into every room. It's really special. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Where were we? Guys.

The impossible transition. Oh, man. I knew we were going to go there when you guys came in. But, yeah, you're both really special. And I appreciate you both sharing so vulnerably. Really, I know it feels like just us in the room yeah but it impacts so many people and I see it in the messages and it's just like I'm sure you guys meet girls on the street and so special to feel like you could be touching someone's life and I just appreciate you guys doing this with me because I know it's not easy

but it's so worth it, you know? Yeah. And you're crushing. You are really crushing. And also just seeing you like wakeboard and live up your life in Austin. I feel like you're embracing this new life you have and it's really nice to see. You know, when you experience death,

it changes your lens of life. When you see how fragile life is, you show up in your day-to-day differently. Your words matter more. Your hugs matter more. Every day and every second just matters more because it's a gift. It's not promised.

And I'm grateful to have that lens now. I can tell just by the way you enter a room and the way you hug people and the way you embrace people it i think it's a good perspective for all of us to hear so thank you for sharing thank you for allowing me to share sammy c i know i i don't know how we're gonna i mean i know you get why she's my best friend oh my partner in life? Absolutely. Like, it's just, I mean, I honestly, I'm sitting here right now just like really grateful. Like my soul and my gut is just like, this is almost like Sammy's moment of like, I have known her so behind the scenes. And she has done so much magical work on herself that I think it was the shift of like, no, we need you in front of people because people need to hear you. She's

impacted everyone she's ever interacted with. So when I sit here, I'm like, go baby. Like, this is exactly why you are here in this moment, all the work that you have done. And this is the right platform for it. Podcasts are the right place for it because it's a story. As you were saying, you can't sum it up in 30 seconds. It's a story.

And I think, yeah, you sharing is such a gift to all of us. Truly, it changes my lens for the day even, you know, just thinking about that. And it's really special to hear to hear that perspective so I'm proud of you for doing that truly you guys and honestly I I would never feel safe enough to share if it wasn't for the two of you and the space that you create and the love that you just share with me keeps me going truly, truly every single day. So thank you both. This is girlhood, baby. Yeah. This is what

girlfriends are for. This is, I mean, this is, I love podcasting as well because I think there's so much knowledge you can get from podcasts and so much facts and how to be better. But like these conversations have changed my life. You know, this is the real shit. Like let's be real. Like, yes, we want to talk about coffee, all these different things. But mother of pearl, we're all in our own bodies every single day. We are all facing so many challenges.

And to forget the humanness that we are living. Like we can't forget that we are all going through so much. We are all facing so many challenges. So to have this microphone to share what we go through and how we get through them, how we use our tools, how we are better. That's what we're here for. It's important work like to break down the wall because I'm sure a lot of people see you guys and think, wow, they're so successful. They have this huge app. They're beautiful. They're best friends. They work together. But like to hear the real, to know that you can be successful and be grieving and be struggling, that's important, you know? It's so, it's so the humanness of it all. I think we can,

especially with social media, forget that everyone is human behind the screen. We all have our stuff. And we have to remember that when you're going on these phones and you're looking at even movies, remember we're in real life and we are here to live and experience. We're not here to know it all. We're not here to be better than everyone else. We are here to live our experience. We're not here to know it all. We're not here to be better than everyone else. We are here to live our human experience. So let's experience it together and be really real about it. Yeah. I think such a beautiful lesson in life is that the trauma is never going to stop. Yeah. But seeing it and labeling it as trauma and not as yourself and your identity and also gaining the strength to get

through it yeah we all have our stuff we all do so that's why you should walk into a room and smile and look someone in the eye and ask them how their day is and check in with the people you love and don't be a stranger to those that you haven't met yet the best part about humanity is that we're all in this together we all have that trauma in common no matter what it looks like every shape every color yeah let it bring us together don't let it keep you apart and the internet can be so isolating and dividing but at the same time we have these beautiful conversations because of it too. Sammy C, I know you had a very transformative 2023. Where is your mindset now versus then? I love this question because right away, I just saw my whole journey in 2023 flash before my eyes. And it was a tricky one. It was messy as hell. Like you look at messy,

you look at my 2023. You know, thank God for my team of my whirlwind of being me and them supporting me in it because running a business, being a fiance, having a family, living in LA, trying to keep up with it all. And then being on the internet where I love my community so much that I want to like share my butthole. Like I like to bring some laugh here, like not what I was anticipating coming out of Sammy Claude's mouth. We needed a giggle, you know? But like literally I expose my life, but I do it because I feel called to do it. I don't do it for the click. I don't do it for someone's telling me to, you know?

I really do it all because my soul is like, no, understand again, we are human. And I want you to see into my world into my life and that it is not perfect and I think 2023 I dove into me really understanding what I want who I am. And it was a tricky one because I think that I grew up really being okay to be told what to do. Someone, or I guess making sure everyone felt okay before myself. And I think it got me really far. Again, I'm so grateful for all that I am and was in those times because I truly was such a hard worker. I led with my heart. I made people feel so loved every time I met them because I cared more about their feelings than my own. The problem that was

happening, and it's kind of confusing to actually say that because I'm in health and wellness. So I was taking care of myself, but I wasn't taking care of myself in the mental health way of actually checking in of how I'm doing. When I look at my life, I've pushed down so much. I've actually been the girl of like, always be grateful. So actually when we're learning right now about gratitude, sometimes it can be triggering for me because I push down every dark thing that happened or every trauma thing because I just said we are on life. We should be so grateful. Who cares that this is the situation that happened? Just be so grateful. Oh my gosh, I'm feeling darkness, sadness. Let's just cover it with a thought that is actually so much better, which I think is a really good tool to have in your toolkit. What was happening for me though, is I started to lose who I was. I started to ignore the screaming voices inside of me that just wanted to be seen and heard. The little Sammy inside of me who just wanted to be nurtured and reparented and taken care of. I am so grateful for my parents, but truly they got some ish. Like we all, we all have parents. They grew up in such a generation where I don't think talking about your feelings was normal. Not at all. I talk to my parents now

about what I'm tapping into and they're like, what the heck are you doing? Like, truly, it's a really hard conversation to have with the generation above us and or even our parents' generation. So I think I pushed down so much of my life and then I finally got into a relationship that I felt really safe in. Safety is like my favorite word. And that's where I think I build my best decisions. I felt that with Sammy, safety, with my friendships in my life, safety. And it was the first ever boyfriend that I found that was safe. And so with that came a lot. I always tell people when your world goes upside down, as long as it's a healthy relationship, it doesn't mean it's actually wrong. It means you're in such a safe and trusting relationship

that your self feels like it can actually express itself. It can show emotions. It can be its most authentic self. It can show you things that you've pushed down. It can say you're ready to face these things, right? Our whole entire life, all ourself is doing is trying to protect us. We have like a protector in us who's saying, that's bad. That's good. We can't face, that's too heavy of a feeling. We're not going to go there. And it's only doing the best that it thought it could for us at that time to survive. We're human beings. We're surviving at the end of the day. And for me to feel safe enough to actually look into my soul. And when I looked in, it was scary. Yeah. It was really scary.

It's like the nervous system calmed and you were able to look and you got scared. I got so scared. And I got so scared because I was my dad which I love my dad everyone knows he's such a big impact in my life but my dad has had a guard up his whole life and I was doing the same thing I was protecting myself from so much because I was so scared to feel certain feelings to really let myself go there or be fully seen not not be perfect. There's so much that poured out that it was almost overwhelming for me. And then again, doing that through social media while trying to put that into words, but being so confused of who I was in my body. Oh, the safety was out the door and I ran. I was like, I just need to close everything off. I can't do anything. I need to freeze.

And I went silent and I literally froze. And no one knows truly the depths of everything that went on. And it's not even something I feel to go into. All I know is my support system was everything. JT, Sammy, my team, my family, and the thing and my friends and the thing I told everyone during that time of 2023 was don't give me any opinions don't give me any projections I actually need you to just hold me hug me tell me you love me that is it and it was the best thing I could have done for myself and I did it for a long time and I had therapy support and I had the people around me that love me and they just were all quiet and they just gave me that like beautiful silence for me to understand what it is that I want what it is that I believe what little Sammy needed to be nurtured in my protective Sammy to

take a rest dear goodness I talked to protective Sammy inside of me and she's like thank god you're here like I need to take a nap because I have been working on fricking fight or flight for 12 years. Like literally is what it felt like. So then my body also was going through exhaustion. I was so tired. I was grieving old things. I was, it was a whole thing that happened at once. And I think a lot of people are talking about this now. There's just not a lot of words to it. And I try my best to give words that aren't too woo-woo, but are really just us as human beings, what we're naturally going through, again, being in an experience. So I think 2023 was me knowing that the body that I am in deserves

that compassion, that grace, that love, that connection, that reparenting, that soul. And I did all of that work in 2023 and I chose myself and I'm so grateful for every part of it. I feel like that's really good advice to tell someone to not ask for opinions and just have your friends hold space for you because I feel like that's how you find your voice and your independence and really recenter yourself because it can be especially as a public figure online so noisy um all the opinions it doesn't help if no one's gone through it they're only going to give you the advice that they've ever gone through sure yeah so you're trying to also explain something you have no words for.

And they're like, well, maybe you should take a walk. And you're like, oh, this is far past a walk. I am literally going through a freaking breakdown right now. Like, so it was so important. That was the first thing that happened for me where myself felt heard. It was like, oh, you're choosing yourself. You love yourself. You love me. It was like, literally it was like oh you're choosing yourself you love yourself you love me it was like literally myself was like you love me like thank you for loving me tell everyone to be quiet be quiet I think it's a beautiful thing that you're sharing for real and seeing you now it feels like you are in line with yourself and doing the things that make you happy and speaking from such a such a strong place do you feel

like a different version of you do you feel more in touch with who you are yes off the bat yes I think it's just like you guys are talking about. Those versions of myself are still a part of me and I still love every part of her though. Like last year, Sam, of feeling messy and confused, she's still in here. She still comes up all the time and I love on her even more. She's not something I shine away from.

She's not something I say you're bad. I actually bring her into my experience and let her know you're so safe here. I hear you. I know today was a little different or I brought up this or you were triggered. Even the child versions of me, like they need to be so seen. They're part of us. They're not supposed to be separate. So I so agree that the toolkit I have now that I know I've needed to use is so here and that is also 2023 me 2022 me every part of me because I've only gotten to where I'm at now because of all those beautiful versions that have brought me here today yeah the messy needs to happen yeah I really feel like that growth comes from mess and I've been

so messy I mean I feel messy right now frankly same baby and messy is like such a hard I feel like I am a perfectionist to be honest I think growing up I I wanted and not in a way where I'm it's kind of an interesting perfectionist way I'm not perfection in the way of like OCD or be really organized. It was, I'm not allowed to be wrong. So I got so uncomfortable with being wrong and people feeling wrong that I would just do everything in my power to make sure everything was perfect. And that's just draining your body. I literally was a running machine without me knowing, running so fast, overworking. And I was just letting my body live in that. And again, there's ebbs and flows. This wasn't my whole entire life, but where I really see my body

screaming for me was when it was running so much. And I think 2023, that's when it happened. Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, just witnessing Sammy in this last year, and as you were speaking, just looking at your new tattoo, which is trust and the trust that you put in yourself. It was this moment of looking at someone who you believe is superhuman, be human. Wow. And it is honestly the most beautiful version of you I've ever seen. It allowed everyone you let in to feel so safe to do it for themselves. And again, I think this is why I'm so grateful that I get to be a part of your life on a daily basis, because you are choosing to do the hard work. You chose a path that most of humanity does not take. But at the end, you also chose yourself

and you love yourself and you trust yourself. And because you did that, we all have that same opportunity to do it too. So I'm just grateful for the gift that you've shared for all of us to have now. Thank you. I definitely, I appreciate you saying that so much. It definitely showed me that I absolutely can do hard things. And I think that I always stayed away from trying to do hard things that felt really uncomfortable I ran from it it's like when something comes up instead of run around it rather than through it yeah and now I'm like running straight through it day in day out and I agree with Sammy watching even just from the outside

watching you experience that and just express the pain that you were experiencing. It almost gave us all permission to be like, wow, like I don't have to be perfect. And I kind of relate to you in that perfectionism way. I'm not neat or organized, but I do feel like I need to be doing all the things at once and being perfect at every single one. A good friend, a good boss this a good that it's tiring and I feel like just you sharing that and being vulnerable when so many of us see you crushing it on your platform and doing all the things just seeing you be human is really powerful both of you and both of you being so vulnerable here today and sharing, I think, is going to make such an impact on people listening because I think too many people online now are creating an airbrushed image of life. Yeah, it feels icky to kind of go into,

but I love the word you use with permission. I felt like I continuously got permission from others and it gave me the strength to do what I did. So if that is a gift that you are hearing of, I give you permission to be messy and to feel uncomfortable and know that it is actually the best thing that could happen to you. And I know that sounds insane when you're in it, but it really is the thing that's going to actually move your life so much forward and give you all of the goodness and strength and breaking so much of this past stuff that needs to be broken and left behind that when you start your own family or you continue to live your life, you're living in your best, highest self. Period. Oh my gosh. We have like 10 quotes I need to pull from this episode. You guys dropped so many truth bombs. I feel so inspired and so grateful to

have sat down with both of you. I feel like we really went there and this is the conversation that people need to hear. It's not the end result. It's like what actually happened to get here, you know? Girls, I really appreciate you coming on today. The final question I have, which is a question I ask every guest, what does wellness mean to you? Because I believe everyone's pursuit of wellness looks different. I love this question. I would say that wellness to me is choosing myself, prioritizing myself, knowing myself and loving myself. And I think, you know, like taking my selfie post-workout, putting it on my Instagram story, making the meal that I know I'm craving and that I know is going to feel my body like that seems so easy and that's what wellness could feel like but the true sense of wellness to me is that love that I truly have for myself and how I show

up for myself yes I love that I feel like wellness means to me a way of living in my life a big umbrella and wellness is choosing yourself and being brave enough to be your true self yeah that really sums it up guys where can the power girls find you online where can they find form where can they find the podcast plug it up all the goods thank you you're so generous i am at sammy spalter on instagram form is join form.com and at form on instagram and my girl and then i'm at sammy clark across all socials and then then at transform on Instagram. Thank you guys. Love you both so much.

I love you. Thanks for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marinawelland.com. It will be linked in the show notes. This is a Wellness Out Loud production produced by Drake Peterson, Fiona Attucks, and Kelly Kyle.

This show is edited by Mike Fry and our video is recorded by Luis Vargas. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Mari Fitness. Love you, Power Girls and Power Boys. See you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.