Pursuit of Wellness - The Hospital Told Me Not to Come… (My Birth Story)

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

I honestly cannot believe I’m sitting here recording this episode as a mom. In this episode, I’m sharing the full story of Cai’s birth from start to finish. The anxiety leading up to labor, the moment the hospital told me not to come because they were at capacity, the induction process, contractions, getting the epidural, and the unexpected turn that led to an emergency C-section. This experience changed my perspective on birth, control, and motherhood in ways I never could have predicted. After going through IVF and everything it took to get pregnant, I thought I had an idea of how birth would go. But labor has a way of reminding you that some things are simply out of your control. I talk about the mental side of preparing for labor, the pain and intensity of contractions, the moment I realized something wasn’t right, and the emotional second I heard Cai cry for the first time. Even though things didn’t go according to my original plan, the moment I saw him made every single part of the experience worth it. If you’re pregnant, thinking about becoming a mom, or just curious about what birth is actually like, this episode is the full, honest story. _____ Leave Me a Message -⁠ click here!⁠ For Mari’s Instagram⁠ click here!⁠ For Pursuit of Wellness Podcast’s Instagram⁠ click here!⁠ For Mari’s Newsletter⁠ click here!⁠ For Mari’s TikTok⁠ click here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I need to issue an apology. I just feel overstimulated a lot. So be patient with me if I'm all over the place. Let's talk birth. Okay? I want to give you guys the full rundown. And I remember the anticipation of him coming was just giving me so much anxiety. I don't think I could have predicted how crazy I felt at the end.

And I click on the voicemail and it says, please do not come to the hospital. We are at capacity. I look at my doula and I'm like, what's going on? what's happening and she's like keeping me calm but I can tell that something's like not not right. This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Lawellen. Hi guys, welcome back to the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. It has been so long. I think I checked back yesterday and I haven't recorded since February and I was super pregnant and that was like a one-off

episode. I don't remember the last time I did an interview. I think it was before I was pregnant. You guys will probably remember better than me, but we are back. I'm so excited. I'm currently pretty much exactly three months postpartum. I feel like a different person. I was just chatting with the team outside and it's crazy how much your brain and perspective on life changes. So it's actually pretty crazy to sit back down and do this show because I've been doing the show for like, I don't know, three years at this point, and I've been through so much on the microphone with you guys, fertility, acne, diet, wellness, women's health, all the things. And now I'm sitting here as a mum. And also just as someone who is trying to find themselves again, I think that's like the biggest

piece of this is refinding, like, who I am now, postpartum, obviously going through a healing fitness journey essentially, like starting all over again. And it's kind of fun that I get to do it with you guys this time. And I'm just excited to connect with other moms who listen. Maybe you're not a mom and you're just excited to hear about the journey. Either way, thank you for being so patient with me. I feel like I definitely went through a time where I needed to step back during IVF and pregnancy and having a baby. And I just feel really excited to be creative again. For me, this is very much like a creative outlet and a place where I get to connect with you guys. I definitely started to feel ready again. I was having a lot of ideas of episodes I wanted to do, things I wanted to talk

about, guests I'd like to have on in the future. And I was like, okay, I think it's time. With that said, I'm still so, so, so freshly postpartum. My brain is a little mushyer than usual. If you've had a baby recently, you know. Anytime I'm talking to another adult, my brain is like split in half, thinking about minutes, ounces, when did he last eat, when's his next nap, what's he doing now? I just feel overstimulated a lot. So be patient with me. If I'm all over the place, you know what's going on. But I also think it's going to be really good for me to just get out of the house and kind of feel like myself again because I definitely have been in a little bit of a baby cave, is what I will call it. And it just feels really fun.

and exciting to be out and about and doing something that I love. And I saw a lot of your guys's feedback just with the excitement of having the show again. It means so much that you guys are still interested in tuning in. And I so appreciate it. So I have a lot of episodes in mind. I think we're going to start with some solos because we have so much to catch up on. The birth story is a big one. I did post it on TikTok, but I didn't have time to go fully. in depth. And a lot of you told me that you do not even have TikTok on your phone, which you're better than us, because that is a great thing to not have TikTok on your phone. You don't need it, okay? Don't even go there. So I'm going to dive into the birth story. I'm also going to do an

episode where I answer a bunch of your guys's questions. In the future, I definitely want to talk about my breastfeeding journey, my current, like, fitness journey, what I'm thinking to just feel like myself again, which is going to take a lot of time. Before I hop into the birth story, also, I want to issue an apology, which is so dramatic of me, but one second, I need to issue an apology. I, a lot of moms have said to me that they've had this experience that when they have a baby, they all of a sudden want to go apologize to their mom friends for not having understanding of what was going on. And I also had that experience. I was like, wow, I couldn't have even pictured what this would be like. And I even apologize to some of my mom friends. I was just like, I'm sorry that I didn't understand. I mean, I'm a pretty empathetic person, so I'm not like, there's nothing really to apologize for. But you just have this sudden feeling of like, wow, moms go through this crazy experience. And before you have a baby, you just don't know. And there's just like a certain level of connection and empathy that happens after you.

you have a baby. And I also was just thinking of any time on this podcast that I've interviewed someone or covered a topic that involves babies, motherhood, formula, birth, whatever, because I've had a lot of guests on the show who are in the health industry and have strong opinions one way or the other. And I just think speaking on those topics before you have a baby is, I don't know what word to use. It's naive and maybe a little, it was a little ignorant of me and I want to apologize because I've learned so much through my experience. And if I could go back and kind of have more of an understanding around certain things, I would love to do that. So anyway, a great learning for me. And also just like, it is really cool to connect with other moms and kind of have this universal

experience that we all go through of like, it really is like an upheaval of who you are and what your life is. So anyway, before I go too deep into that, let's talk birth. Okay? I want to give you guys the full rundown. I didn't even really go into that much detail on my TikTok because it gives you a limited amount of time, which is why I'm so excited to be podcasting again, because I really feel like this is my platform. I love podcasting. Let's go back. It's so crazy how you don't remember being pregnant. Like, it is biologically bizarre that we get pregnant and go through all this stuff and then just completely forget about it once you have the baby. Like, that's kind of diabolical. But I was getting super pregnant. And I never really had a super intense birth plan. Let me say that. I think a lot of

people assumed that I would be maybe a lot crunchier than I was, like not at home birth, unmedicated, which actually was never my intention, to be honest, after going through IVF and having to give myself shots every day for months and months and months and going through everything I went through to get pregnant and the trauma of that, I was kind of like, I just want to have a relatively good experience. Like I don't want to kind of, I'm not in the mindset to take a risk and I'm not in a mindset to like take on a lot of pain right now, if that makes sense. I have a lot of respect. for how women go about their births and honestly, couldn't care less.

Like, do what makes you happy. If a hospital birth makes you happy, if an at home birth makes you happy, do what makes you happy. I think that's a big learning lesson for me in motherhood. It's like everyone should really just do what makes them feel their best because ultimately that's going to be the best outcome. But for me, I definitely did a lot of prep.

I did hypno-birthing classes because I just wanted to learn about breathing and mindset for birth. I did pelvic floor therapy. I worked out. Like, I definitely had a vaginal birth in mind, but I was completely open to epidural. I wanted it to be in the hospital. But I was pretty set on it being a vaginal birth. That's the one thing I was really wanting. I also will say, I think having been an IVF mom and having some complications at the beginning, that scared me. And I was like, I definitely want to be in a hospital because I never want to feel scared. So that maybe changed my perspective on it too. But again, I'm not a medical professional. And to each their own, I'm just speaking on my experience.

So anyway, I'm super pregnant. We're getting closer and closer to the due date, which was December 5th, okay? And I am really uncomfortable. Like my first and second trimester were pretty chill, didn't have nausea, really didn't have any major symptoms. I felt great looking back. My third trimester was brutal. I had really bad carpal tunnel. I had horrible pain and it's funny because I like can't even remember now like what it was like, but I had tingling and pain in my hands and wrists like at all times to the point where I could barely like write with a pen weight lift. So I was doing like ice baths on my hands every day, I ended up getting cortisone shots in both hands, which fixed the problem. And they told me it was like a very severe case of carpal tunnel, which completely went away when I delivered Kai.

They say it happens from all the fluid and pressure in the body, cutting off certain blood flow, I think. But anyway, I had carpal tunnel. I was not sleeping. I had really bad pregnancy insomnia. And I was also just in a lot of pain in my feet. In general, I was. just very, very uncomfortable in my third trimester. For some reason, I thought that I would go into labour early. And I think a lot of first time moms believe that they will go into labor early, which often is not the case. Like when you are a first time mom, generally, you're going a week or two past your due date, which is something that I don't know why. Anyway, I was getting closer and closer to the due date. I remember Thanksgiving, I was like convinced that he was going to come on

Thanksgiving and he absolutely wasn't even close to coming on Thanksgiving. I was going into the OBGYN to get checked. I got cervical checks done. I think I was like maybe a centimeter dilated. I was doing everything, guys. I was doing raspberry leaf tea, dates. I was walking a ton. I was like sidestepping on sidewalks. I was doing the miles circuit, which is where you're like upside down for 30 minutes. It was pretty brutal. None of it worked. And. I have a little bit of an obsessive way of thinking, and I remember the anticipation of him coming was just giving me so much anxiety. I don't think I could have predicted how crazy I felt at the end, because every day I was like, today's the day, today's the day, today's the day, tonight's the night, tonight's the night. And it obviously didn't happen. And I was kind of losing my mind. And I was getting like coffee with other expecting moms and we were talking about it. And one of my friends was like, you know, why don't you just induce? Like, why don't you go in and induce the labor, which is when you can choose to have potocin and potocin induces labor. It's like a medication. And that was something I always

said I didn't want to do. And that's the thing, guys, my biggest learning from motherhood and birth and all of it is to just let go of expectations and let go of control because you think you're going to be one way and then you're in it. And that completely changes and that's okay. And I think, you know, I'll speak more about this when you hear the rest of the story, but the decision to induce was kind of my first moment of being like, okay, I think letting go of what I thought that I wanted and what I thought would happen is just what has to happen right now. I have to let go control. So I decided if Kai is not here or the baby isn't here by early December, I'm going to induce, because I was getting so uncomfortable at this point.

I went to the OBGYN. We did another check. It wasn't looking like any much progress had been made. And they said, well, if you want, we can offer you, I think it was like a 6am induction appointment on December 4th. And I looked at Greg and he was like, wait, that's, this appointment was so funny. Because I think it was the moment that Greg realized we were actually having a baby. A lot of men, like, it takes them a minute to wrap their head.

heard around it. And he was like, wait, that's like next week. And I was like, yeah, great. Like, let's get this baby out. Let's go. And he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I got to wrap some things up at work. And I was like, okay, get back to the office, go wrap them up, like we're having a baby. So I agreed to the 6 a.m. induction on December 4th, which was crazy. It was kind of crazy to know that it was coming. But it also gave me a week to try everything. Like, I kept. doing the miles circuit. I was really giving it my all. I didn't go down the path of like, um, castor oil or some of those more extreme routes. I was just sort of, you know, walking and doing the tea and everything like that. Anyway, we get to December 4th. Baby is not here.

So we prep for going to the hospital. All the bags were packed. My bag, baby's bag. Greg, Greg didn't really bring that much, to be honest with you guys. Um, but we were ready to go. and we woke up at 4 a.m. on December 4th, I was so nervous. Like, I'll never forget the day before the induction, my heart was racing, and it was partially about birth and, like, the pain of birth. But it was also, like, my whole life is about to change, and I feel, like, Lulu's not ready, Arnold's not ready. Oh, my gosh, like, is our marriage going to be the same? Like, you have all these crazy, like, fears going into it, and it's weird, because you're, you know, you technically have nine months to prepare for it, but you really, it all hits you right before.

So I was super-duper nervous. We woke up at 4 a.m. December 4th. I'm like getting ready to go, doing my skincare, wearing my little sweat set I wanted to wear for the day of birth. And I eat my breakfast. We're headed out the door. And I check my phone really quick just before we get in the car. And I had three missed voicemails from the hospital. And I'm like, wait, what's going on? and I click on the voicemail and it says, please do not come to the hospital. We are at capacity. And I look at Greg and I'm like, wait, we're not going to the hospital right now. I had three messages. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. We are full. I was like, what do you mean? You're full. Like, am I not giving birth today? Like, this is crazy. I am mentally prepared to give birth today.

So I end up getting on the phone with the hospital and they say, yep, we are full. We are going to try and get you in this morning, but no promises. And I'm so tired at this point because I've had no sleep. So I'm like, you know what? The best thing I can probably do is go back to bed and get more sleep because if I'm giving birth today, I want to be well rested. So somehow I go back to bed, I give Greg my phone to keep an eye out for the hospital calling. He wakes me up around 8 a.m. And he's like, they called, we're going in.

They have room. So I'm like, okay, here we go. And for some reason at this point, I was less nervous because I don't know why. Like something changed in my mindset when they called because I was like, okay, this is just out of my control. I need to go with the flow. We head to the hospital. And it's so weird with an induction. Like you, it's not like you're in the hospital, like screaming in pain with contractions.

It's not what you picture in the movies. It's like you walk in and they put you in your room and you put the gown on and then you have a discussion of like what's going to happen. I had a really sweet nurse and we brought them all Bloom Energy drinks. They were all hooked up with the Blue Energy. They had their gift baskets. And we talked about the potocin. And the original plan my doctor wanted to do was like a very aggressive dosing of Potocin just to kind of get things moving. And I was like, okay, can we actually start at the baseline. So we started with very minimal potocin. Also the worst part of the whole day, and I don't want to scare anyone, because it was the best day ever and I would do it a thousand times again,

was the IV, because for some reason they couldn't find my veins and they ended up putting it in my wrist, and I still have a scar from this IV, actually. And it was in this really annoying part of my wrist where I couldn't bend my hand and it was really painful, which is just so funny. Like this tiny needle of all things was the most annoying part of the day. But anyway, I have the IV. We start Potocin. I think it took a total of two hours for me to start feeling like something was happening. Like really not much, not much was going on the first couple hours. I'm like getting up to go to the bathroom, then monitoring the baby with the straps on my belly. Everything's going okay. And then all of a sudden within like two hours, my water breaks. And I was kind of

of amped to have this experience. Like, I don't know why I've always, like, kind of looked forward to birth my whole life and been very, like, excited for it and nervous, but excited. And because of, like, IVF and my fertility journey, I wanted to, like, have this experience. So having my water break, me and Greg were like, whoa, this is so cool. It's, like, all over the floor, dramatic, whatever. And that was kind of a fun moment. But then obviously the contractions start. I've heard that people have different types of contractions. Like they can come really from your back, like lower back pain. Mine were all very much in the front. And I felt the best standing up, like swaying side to side. At this point, I had my douler there. So for some reason, I was not 100% sure if I wanted my

doula in the room, like leading up to it. Because in my head, I was like, well, maybe I wanted to be a private moment, like, do I even really need her in there? I'm not sure why I was having those reservations, but I decided last minute that I did want her there. And luckily, she was already in the hospital for a different birth. So I called her and she came down and she was talking me through each contraction, which was so, so helpful. If you are thinking about getting a douler, I will say it was very beneficial to have her there talking me through things, motivating me. I'm definitely someone that's like, I respond well to like hardcore motivational, like discipline type speaking. And she was definitely helping me through each one. We were playing EDM music.

I remember Greg was like the DJ in the corner playing the EDM music. It's really funny because the men were Greg, you know, everyone's husband's different. But he, they obviously don't know what you're going through, right? So he thought it would be helpful to like. like talk to me and like try to have conversations with me about random stuff the whole time. And I literally was like, please stop speaking. Like I am so locked in right now. I cannot listen to you. And my doula was even like, Greg, like let's table that.

So the doula will also help you control your husband, which is really helpful. But Greg ended up like getting behind me and like helping me sway. And I was kind of viving, guys. Like the contractions, yes, are an. an unearthly type of pain, but also it kind of feels natural. Like, it's really difficult to put into words, but you can muscle through it. And I think women are really incredible. And for some reason, I was kind of like, yeah, like, we're doing this, even though it was very, very painful and I, like, couldn't speak during them. But I did get on the list for the anesthesiologist, which I didn't

realize this, but when you are in labor, you want to put your name down on a list for the anesthesiologist because it can take an hour for them to get to your room, which means you're having insane contractions getting closer and closer and closer by the time they're able to come to your room. So I was on the list and I think I was having contractions for maybe an hour and they were getting closer and closer together. So I'm like, you know, swaying, listening to the music, but it's getting harder and harder for me to like withstand the pain because they're getting more intense, closer together. Eventually he comes in. This for me was the most challenging part other than the IV of the whole day. They put you on the bed and you're already contracting. So sitting on the

bed and then they have you crunch over. So like Greg was in front of me and I was like hanging on him so that my back was bent. And that was really, really painful for me because if you can imagine like the uterus is like crunching and to extra crunch. crunch is just, I mean, so bad. And by the way, this is not meant to be a, I just want to reiterate, like, it was the best day of my life and I would do it a million times again. And if you are having fear about birth, like you have so much more mental power than you realize and you will look back and want to do it again and again and again. But anyway, I am crunched over Greg and the guy, I don't even want to go into detail, honestly, because if someone's listening,

who is pregnant, I don't want to scare them. But getting the epidural needle in my back was like not my favorite thing. I definitely like screamed. But it was over very quickly. And it really does remove a majority of the pain that you feel from contractions. Like you can't feel anything. I did not have the best reaction to the epidural. I, um, I've never had great reactions to anesthesia. Like if you guys listen to my egg retrieval episode, I ended up having a vasal, vagal nerve reaction to my egg retrieval anesthesia because I passed out afterwards and threw up and etc. So after in the epidural, I'm kind of laying there and I'm getting really nauseous. So I did end up throwing up like pretty much hours after getting the epidural, like throwing up four hours

and shaking violently. So if you've seen videos, you get something called labor shakes, which is when you're like uncontrollably shaking before you go into labor. I had that the entire time. So I'm shaking and throwing up. And I'm kind of thinking, why did I get the epidural? Like I felt better before. So I don't know. I don't know why I had that reaction. Maybe it's normal. But they kept flipping me on different sides and I'm like throwing up into bags on each side. And I'm really not supposed to eat. At this point, they say in case you need to get a C-section, they don't let you eat. So throwing up and shaking. I'm just exhausted at this point because my body has been doing so much work that I'm tired. I think that's the biggest piece about labor is like it feels like a marathon. I know for some

people it's not that way, but I think for a lot of first time moms, it really is exhausting. Anyway, my doctor, Dr. Seeker, who is like the best OB in Austin, he's awesome, comes in and checks me, does a cervical check. And he's like, oh my gosh, you dilated really quickly. You're at eight centimeters. So we're like two centimeters away from being ready to push. But the thing that's funny is you imagine, you just imagine things moving a lot faster. And when you're in the hospital, it's a long process. Like each check is like an hour or two spaced out. So you're really there for hours and hours and hours and hours. But the time also flies. Like it's the most bizarre experience. But I kept looking at the clock and like, you know, wondering what's going on.

And the next time he came in, he was like, okay, we're ready to push. And I was like, oh, my God, we're doing it. And I was really nervous, but excited to push. Like, I had been prepping for this moment, like with my PT, you know, my pelvic floor therapist, we've been practicing pushing positions. And I knew the breathwork I wanted to do and the best effective pushing positions for me. And Greg was also amped for this moment. He, like, loves coaching me in workouts and things like that. So this was like his moment. So not his moment. It was very much my moment. But he He was behind my shoulder coaching me. So anyway, we get ready to push. And I think they had me on my back, which wasn't really what I wanted. I wanted to do sideline, pulling on a towel. We did that as well at some point. But anyway, I stopped pushing. And immediately, like, within 10 minutes, Dr. Seek is telling me, we see his head, we see his ear, he has hair. And I'm just like, what do you mean he has hair? Like, I was just like losing it. I can't believe he's really. real, is he coming out? This is crazy. And Dr. Seeker's like, okay, his head is sideways. Like, his, he was, his neck was twisted a little bit. And he was like, it should be okay. We keep pushing.

And the pushing's effective. Like, he's definitely coming out. I think I was pushing for an hour. And I noticed that Dr. Seeker and the nurses are kind of like looking at each other and looking at the monitor and kind of having a lot of like side conversation. and I look at my dole and I'm like, what's going on? What's happening? And she's like keeping me calm. But I can tell that something's like not, not right. So we keep going and I'm almost at an hour of pushing now. And Dr. Seeker goes, this is a 50-50 chance of being a vaginal birth. And I'm immediately panicking. Like I look at my dole and I'm like, this has to be a vaginal birth. And I don't know why this was my mindset. I was terrified of having a C-section. I'm not sure why.

I've always been a little bit weird about surgery and like anesthesia and not that you're put under for C-sections, but I was just really nervous. And I was like, no, this has to be vaginal. I'm prepped for a vaginal birth. Like, I am ready. So we keep pushing. And it's funny, like, in the moment of pushing, it brings out a part of, I can't describe it. I kept looking at him and I was like, am I doing a good job pushing? Is he okay? Is he okay?

What's happening? You just feel really like vulnerable, obviously. And it's like a very animalistic feeling of pushing. And I just wanted to know that I was doing a good job and that Kai was safe. But it's exhausting. Like you're holding your breath for 10 seconds and it really feels like you need a minute to catch your breath, but they want you to keep pushing. So I'm honestly happy I got the experience of pushing because it was really, you know,

it's like that human experience that we all want in a way. And it's something that I personally had always thought about. But then we hit a point where Dr. Seeker was like, we need to call this. His heart rate keeps dropping. He's not tolerating the contractions. He's not tolerating pushing. And for a minute, I was concerned that I was being pushed into a C-section that wasn't necessary. So I looked at my douler and she goes, no, no, no, this is medically necessary. The baby's not doing well. So I'm like pure panic at this point. I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe I have to have a C-section. It was kind of crazy because I was always very adamant about not having a C-section. I'm not sure why. And I think it probably has a lot to do with some of the interviews I've done on

this show and the studies with C-sections and just honestly like a fear of them. But I know a lot of people choose to do C-sections now. So people really like feel one way or the other. But for some reason, it caused panic in me. But of course, I was ready to do whatever to make sure the baby was safe. So it happened so, so fast within like a minute of deciding it was a C-Sexam. this entire team comes in. They're putting more medicine in the epidural to numb everything. They're, you know, giving Greg and the doulas hazmat suits and putting surgery hairnets. And I say to everyone, please put a speaker next to my ear. I don't want to hear anything that's going on. And I'm going to keep my eyes closed because I was like hyperventilating.

So they wheel me into surgery. I have a speaker next to my ear playing like Van der Lux. look him up, great music, really a great DJ. EDM music. And they wheel me into the room. And the team in there was so friendly, so nice. I'm still not looking at anyone. So I can't see anything. And then they put a sheet up between me and like the lower half of my body.

And I have Greg and the doula on my side. And I'm like holding Greg's hand. And I remember I kept saying like, babe, don't watch, don't watch, don't watch. Because I'm aware that they're about to slice me open and take my organs out. out on put them on a table and take the baby out. And Greg's like, no, no, no, I'm watching. For some reason, Greg wanted to watch the entire thing. And he like took photo. I haven't even looked at these photos. I'm still not ready. But he literally watched them cut me open and take my organs out, which is insane. Like I actually still can't believe that happened to me. But I'm just

like back there praying, keeping my eye shut, like squeezing whoever's hand was there. And then I, within six minutes, I hear Kai crying. And I like open my eyes and he's like coming towards me over the sheet. And I was just like, what just happened? And I couldn't believe he was real. Like I know that sounds crazy, but I think maybe every mom experiences this, but just having gone through everything I did to get pregnant and then just seeing him, it was actually the most magical moment of my entire life. Like, look at this. Look at him. And I'm like streaming tears down my face. I get him on my chest. Oh, I like, that moment was so insane, guys. Like, people say that giving birth is addictive. I don't know if anyone's seen that, like that moment that you give birth. It is, like, I don't think I'll ever have a

moment in my entire life that's equivalent to it because it was the craziest moment of my life. And just looking at his cheeks and his eyes and his head, like, look at him. And Greg and I are just staring at him. He was nine pounds. So the second he came out, everyone was like, oh, thank God you didn't push this baby out because he is massive. Big nine pound boy. Super healthy. They weighed him. He was crying, breathing well, thank God. I just kept saying, is he okay? Is he okay? Is he okay? I still had this like deep fear that he wouldn't be okay. But he was fine. Oh, by the way, see, I'm skipping things because my brain isn't working. This was, I think, 10.50 p.m. So I had been essentially in labor since eight in the morning, 12-hour labor. And I know some people have it so much worse. Like some people are

in labor for days and days and days, which is crazy. In retrospect, like some people would say that that was a horrible birth experience. I don't think of it. That. I don't think of it. way. I'm, it worked out how it was supposed to and I really think the C-section was a lesson for me. And I had some people say to me like, you're going to have to grieve this, you're going to have to like really let yourself be sad about the fact that you didn't have a vaginal birth. Part of me is a little sad that I didn't get to experience, but I also felt like I kind of had both experiences because I was pushing for an hour. He was in the vaginal canal. And then I also had a C-section, but I really don't care. And maybe that sounds crazy, but, like, I was just so overjoyed to have a healthy baby that I just didn't care. I was like, he could have come out of my ear and I wouldn't have cared. Like, this was just magical for me. And I think, yeah, a really big lesson for me that, like, I can't, I can't control everything with birth. There's only so much you can prep. I honestly, my biggest,

piece of advice for someone who's about to give birth would be to let go of expectations, let go of control, you know, tell yourself that you'll be happy either way because it really doesn't matter at the end of the day how the baby comes out. So anyway, they had him on my chest, they wheeled me into a recovery room. And I'm like trying to remember everything right now because I was so out of it at that point. But it was, I think it was like midnight and we were in that recovery area for two hours. So it was getting to 2 a.m. But he, I, got to breastfeed him right away. He latched right away, which was amazing. I was like, oh my gosh, like, you know, I didn't get to have the birth I wanted, but I'm having this

amazing experience with him. Like, I'm literally feeding him right now. He was so loud. I will never, and he is still loud, I will say that, because there was other mums in this recovery area. There was just curtains between all of us. And everyone's baby was like making like little noises. Mine was screaming. Kai was absolutely screaming. Kyi was absolutely screaming. screaming and he was so loud. And I remember looking at Greg and being like, do we have the loudest baby of all time? This is deafening. And he's still really loud. So he's just a loud boy. But oh, and I, guys, I skipped a whole thing about my placenta. I'm going to do a whole episode about my placenta because we did a really crazy process with the placenta with Dr. Amir Meshari. I think

I'm saying it correctly, Mashabi. He's actually a labia. plastic surgeon, but he also helps extract stem cells from the placenta and does a really interesting process with them, which we'll dive into in another episode. But I knew I wanted to work with him. So we had to remove the placenta and immediately put it on ice with antibiotics to prevent it getting infected and ship it on a plane to his lab to have the stem cells extracted. So that was a whole crazy thing. We had our amazing assistant Brooke waiting in the way room of the hospital to transport the placenta. It was really, really crazy and props to her because she had to wait for hours after all of what we went through that day. So anyway, after that,

we were wheeled down to our suite. They were out of postpartum suites that day. So they moved us to a completely different floor of the hospital. But it was great. We had a huge room. Greg had a couch to sleep on. Our biggest joke was like, Greg's going to be so uncomfortable on this couch. He needs his red light. He needs his eye mask, whatever, but he was, you know, he was fine. We had such a lovely team of nurses, like truly the best at St. David's North here in Austin. And obviously, I had a lot more of a complicated recovery than we were anticipating because of the C-section. I will say, Dr. Seeker did such a great job. My incision is literally like this big. It's nothing. I can't believe he pulled a nine-pound baby out of that. But

They, you know, were obviously tending to the incision. And you still bleed when you have a C-section. You still wear diapers. You still bleed, which is really interesting. But yeah, that recovery part is the same. But standing up and, like, sitting down to pee and going in the shower is a bit more, like, they want you to be much more careful. Like, I don't think they even really let me walk around. Also, I remember the night that we were brought down to that. room with Kai, it was like three in the morning. And we were, I mean, it's kind of crazy, guys. Like, all of a sudden, you are entirely responsible for this tiny baby. And I was so exhausted. I couldn't even, like, open my eyes because after that day, it was a crazy, crazy day. I couldn't stand up. My whole body was itchy, head to toe from, I think, I guess, from the epidural wearing off or one of the medications that they gave me. So I couldn't even sleep because of how itchy I was. But the nurses were so lovely. They could see how exhausted I was and how exhausted Greg was that they were extra helpful with Kai and really, really stepped in so we could sleep for two

hours. I was like, I just need two hours and then I'll be okay because I was really at the point where I was like, I'm not going to be like with it if I keep pushing myself. So slept for two hours and then they wake you up a bunch to give you medication for the pain and check on the incision. So the C-Sex. aspect was like, you know, a little bit more recovery heavy. But I honestly felt pretty good. Like I was up on my feet the next day. I was able to lift Kai, change diapers. I think I got myself in the shower at some point. It's all a blur. It is really all a blur. I had a great experience at the hospital. I loved being in a safe environment to figure out taking care of a new baby. I felt really supported and I learned so much about breastfeeding and diapers and development

and it just felt like a really great environment to learn things. I was in that room. Like I literally did not step out of that room for three days straight and I didn't even realize. I was like, oh my gosh, I haven't even been outside because everything is such a blur. But it was really magical. Like so, so magical just staring at Kai and having him on me and our first diaper change, I remember, was insane because when the baby's first born, they poop out all this black tar, like sticky tar. And Greg and I were like, oh, my God, what do we do with this? But it was so special. And honestly, a big fear that I had was like, okay, I've never really taken care of a baby for that long. Like, I've held a couple of babies, but I've never changed a diaper.

I haven't done this. I haven't done that. But there really is this, like, instinctual reaction. when it's your baby, you just figure it out. Like for some reason, it just feels more natural. It feels like, of course, you don't know everything, but you just kind of figure it out. And it's really fun and exciting. And there's so much I could dive into with the breastfeeding, the colostrum, all of it. There's so much to talk about. But I think I will leave it at that with the birth story and yeah everything worked out how it was supposed to i've come to a lot of acceptance in peace with it and i think it was a big lesson for me a big lesson of like you know a lot of my life i've controlled and planned and just worked really hard at and this is like the one thing where it's like

there's not much you can do sometimes and you just kind of have to let go of control um but i feel so blessed and grateful to have kai and taking him home that day was the craziest feeling ever. And being a mum has been really awesome and I can't wait to talk about it more. I can't wait to answer some questions. And I hope you guys tune into the next episode. Thank you for joining this one. Just a reminder if you're not subscribed. I don't want you guys to miss any new episodes. Make sure you follow me on Instagram for updates when new episodes drop. And I can't wait for the next one. Bye. Thank you for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness Podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be

reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at Mari Loewan.com. It will be linked in the show notes. This podcast is a Pursuit Network production, brought to you by Michaela Phillips, Joel Contartese, Daviel Waldner, and Mackenzie Maisal. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Pursuit. suit of wellness podcast. Love you, Power Girls and Power Boys. I will see you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider-patient

relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.