QAA Podcast - Episode 265: Auntie Coolette feat Miles Klee
Episode Date: February 4, 2024The invasion has begun. Swarms of gen x parents are flooding onto Tik Tok to ruin the lives of their children and amass substantial followings of their own. This week, we’re joined by journalist Mil...es Klee in an attempt to make sense of conspiracy mega-influencer Auntie Coolette. Her online career began as innocently as any other middle-aged person experimenting with short form content, before she transformed into someone barely recognizable. Subscribe for $5 a month to get an extra episode of QAA every week + access to our archive of premium episodes and ongoing series like PERVERTS, Manclan, Trickle Down and The Spectral Voyager: https://www.patreon.com/QAA Miles Klee’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/youwouldntpost Music by Pontus Berghe. Editing by Corey Klotz. https://qanonanonymous.com SOURCES: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/auntie-coolette-tiktok-conspiracy-queen-1234946312/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up QAA listeners?
The fun games have begun.
I found a way to connect to the internet.
I'm sorry, boy.
Welcome listeners to the 265th chapter of the QAA podcast,
the anti-Colette episode.
As always, we are your host, Jake Rockatansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
On the first day of 2024, doesn't
of cop cars descended on the Bayside marketplace in Miami, Florida.
A massive fight had broken out amongst a group of about 50 teenagers.
Fireworks had also been set off, leading to people calling 911 to report an active shooter in the area.
Naturally, the police arrived with assault rifles and body armor quickly to the scene.
No one was seriously injured, and the police made a handful of arrests.
But on various social media sites, a different narrative began to unfold.
Teenagers running through the mall, shooting their handguns,
backwards over their shoulders and hulking eight-foot aliens, a scene right out of attack the block.
Police, of course, dismissed the story with the Miami PD Public Information Officer Michael Vega
writing, nothing is being withheld from the public, lull.
He actually put a lull in his statement.
We want our police officers to just start saying lull.
Just use an emoji, too.
This is the beginning of a slippery slope.
Nevertheless, a slew of influencers took to their platforms to zoom in on the grainy
video and discuss whether or not they could see the creatures.
One of the most popular videos about the conspiracy was posted by a user named
Antie Kulet, a middle-aged TikToker from Nevada.
Ha ha, we got you.
Well, okay, hold on, Tiki Talk.
We got you for entertainment purposes only, of course.
All things stated and all videos things shared here are just speculation.
Newbo goofing, just goofing around.
Not even the men in black can make this go away at this point.
Oh, I just love social media, yes.
Because, uh, mainstream media, bye, girl, bye.
And whoever came up with that BS caca made me a ridiculous story.
That hundreds and hundreds of Miami police officers were dispatched to the Miami Mall
because of a fight between kids with sticks.
You're fired.
Not today, Satan, not today.
Witnesses, multiple witnesses claim to have seen 8 to 10 feet tall creatures in the mall that struck panic.
People were pew-pooing to protect and save their own lives, and everyone was running.
It was mayhem.
But we got you.
Well, we got it on film.
Thanks to a couple of very amazing, incredible followers of mine, Eagle Eye followers,
they spotted it. And when I tell you guys, yeah, be prepared because you are about to see
something that in your lifetime, if you've been lucky enough, you have never seen before.
A Nephlin, a demonic fallen angel spirit, eight to ten feet tall, roaming the streets of our world.
Roll the tape. Oh, that's me. I got to roll it. Hold on.
Huh? We'll wait. Oh, really? We'll wait.
Okay, we need to take social media away from fucking Gen Xers.
I think we just need to take it away in general.
We can't be allowing this person to be on the internet.
We have to put in some sort of totalitarian state that takes away the internet from people
with glasses like this, who act like this, who edit themselves so much.
But like every sentence is like three cuts.
And let me tell you something.
If there's an invisible fight between Satan and God, it's not happening in Florida.
They stay out of Florida.
Florida has no God, no Satan.
Florida is in an in-between place.
Now, this is Collette Reynolds, a real estate agent and prolific TikTok poster.
Her video about the Miami Nephilim received almost 3 million views and over 80,000 likes.
People started pew-pooing.
Pew-puing!
Where are you getting this language from?
How did we teach an entire fucking generation to talk like they're in a Marvel movie?
Oh, wait, it's by making all these fucking movies.
It's by the stupid internet existing.
Oh, my God.
It's also a byproduct of the censorship of TikTok.
They have a lot of words that you aren't allowed to say,
and so they've come up with alternatives to get around the sensors.
Oh, I would like to pew, pew, pew, and unalive myself.
Yeah, no, I'm familiar.
Well, we are going to get into it, fellas.
Ante Cooleet is one of the most popular pilled influencers on TikTok,
and joining us today to discuss the rise of the internet's most popular auntie
is journalist Miles Klee, who recently published a great piece about her for Rolling Stone.
Miles, thank you for joining us.
Hey, boys.
Great to be here.
Are you in Florida right now?
Are you with the Nephilim?
Are you with the 50 children?
Like, what do we?
I'm in Los Angeles, an already fallen city that is, yeah, swarming with demonic entities.
A lot of them are making the movies that you're talking about.
So, yeah, no, I'm used to this.
It's new for Miami.
Shout out to them for, you know, putting up a fight.
against the creatures because we didn't do that here yeah we just let the creatures walk all over
us we gave we gave the creatures a seat in starbucks if there's like one thing that i'm gonna say
is that if if we're looking at a future of only marvel movies and people like this on social
media i actually welcome the new era of like daily caller stuff featuring jim kivisel produced by
angel studios like bring it on i we need god we need god in this industry well the
conspiracy theories are just more closely resembling the Netflix's original movies.
I know they're doing it too.
Everyone's doing soy banter.
As you mentioned in your article, you know, one of her other recently very popular
videos was her commentary on hidden symbolism in Leave the World Behind the Barack and Michelle
Obama produced post-apocalyptic or pre-apocalyptic movie, I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
She was baking the hell out of that movie like everyone else.
I think she, I think her line on that was that, you know, it was a warning.
The Obamas are, yeah, what, what's the, what's the conditional behavior thing, you guys
were talking about?
Predictive programming.
Yeah, she was, she was doing, uh, doing that kind of bake.
And yeah, I think, um, you know, the media literacy is at such a low that you can have
this person get on TikTok and tell you what a movie means and you have no other way of interpreting
it for yourself.
So, uh, just, you just go to this influencer and she will.
Make up some shit. Well, and here's the crazy thing, too. That Obama video is like 10 minutes long. And she got, you know, millions of views on it. If she had posted it to YouTube instead, she probably would be making money off of it. But on TikTok, it's just a long ass video that I watched about five minutes of and was like, okay, all right. The entire like appeal of people like this is being too close to the camera and popping up in like boomers phones full screen. Well, we are going to.
track Auntie Coulette's trajectory. And, you know, I think what we have here is the diabolical
interaction between someone who's just kind of naturally a social media star. I don't mean that
in a complimentary way. No. You know, who got really, really bored during COVID and basically
just started posting and never stopped. You know, she's quick. She's consistent. She's got a little
sort of catchphrase that she uses. There are videos of her playing around with her dogs,
joking with her family, giving out positive affirmations, opening up about her medical
struggles, stuff a lot of people can relate to, especially on social media. I feel like this
hair and these like tortoise shell, like Edna style glasses. Like she, this is the female fedora,
this, this outfit somehow. Well, this is the character. The glasses don't make an appearance really
until she starts going by Auntie Coolette.
Oh.
As you guys will see in a lot of her very early videos,
they're not really kind of, you know,
they're not really a staple of the costume yet.
Yeah, she does, actually, you know what?
This might be like her, like, Clark Kent kind of get up.
And I like that, yeah, like she named herself
after the wine coolers that made her insane.
Anti-Cool-Cool-Aid.
Anti-Cool-Cool-Aid would have worked, too, I think.
Yeah.
I've noticed, Jake, that you do it, like,
me, I think we both say like auntie instead of like auntie.
Yeah, auntie.
Yeah.
Is that like a Chicago thing?
I don't know.
Jake is wearing a big Bulls t-shirt.
I don't know.
I just, Auntie just never, I don't know.
And I was never an auntie person.
Both my aunts, I just call aunt.
Yeah, I've been sick for like three days.
I'm very cooped up, clearly.
I've just got so much energy to let flow.
This should be a fun episode.
Miles, I thought that you described really well in your article.
you know, why somebody like this can go so massively viral and become so popular.
And if I may quote you, actually, Travis, would you read this quote?
Sure.
Rather than deliver her material in the raving, fear-mongering style of a character like Alex Jones,
she initially comes across as nothing more threatening than an excitable quirky mom who wants to spread love and light.
Yes.
Yeah, there is something non-threatening about her demeanor, although that changes, I think, as we
get closer and closer to
the present posts. I think it would
be really funny to, like, switch it up
and just, like, have Alex Jones be like,
I made rice crispy treats for you and your
friends. Got some lemonade
with that. Him and the glasses
with the camera that close to his face.
Sorry, folks, we don't have regular Coke.
We got President's Choice, okay? I don't give
a fuck. It was a lot less
expensive at the grocery store, two for one.
President's Choice Cola. All right?
I think that, like, to be
like this woman, you'd have to say, like, you couldn't say
fuck you'd have to say like frigaroo or something yeah she actually swore a good amount in our
interview but then was always like trying to check herself when she was doing that she's just so
excitable she she threw shit around more than fuck i would say right yeah well i could i could actually
see her be like the freaking shit nuggets and like you know like doing the like compound swear words
and stuff yeah we'd and ask uh auntie needy drinkie yeah when um i'm curious actually while
we're on the subject how did you so how did you go
about getting her for an interview.
Did you reach out on TikTok?
Did you DM her?
I went through her realty website.
Oh, king shit.
And was she like, what's up?
Would you like to go for a drink?
Like, did she try to date you or what?
She sent back conservatively like three really long excited emails, just kind of getting
into some of her stuff.
She was going through a thing at the time that, you know, her friend was sick.
So she was really both in her emails and her like chatting with me pretty like frazzled and seemingly sleep deprived, but also like very hard to get a word in edgewise with her at all over like two hours because she just wanted to basically rattle off like every conspiracy that she's into.
Like she kept remembering another thing that she forgot to tell me.
And she's like, oh and like, oh and did you know, mermaids are actually demons.
You know, it was that.
So like even in the middle of trying to get through something else, something would just occur to.
her that she had to let me know about, uh, this about the Nephilim or, you know, any other,
you know, that CERN was trying to open like an, uh, open a new dimension, that kind of
stuff. Yeah. And, you know, what's in, what I find interesting is that, you know, it doesn't
sound at all like that you are potentially an enemy, you know, as a journalist who is working
for a main, you know, the lame stream media. Usually people that are sort of on this
spectrum of conspiracy belief, you know, they'll be kind of cagey, uh, you know, you know,
They're worried that, you know, maybe you're going to twist their words, but it doesn't really sound like that was any kind of concern for her.
Well, I found this so interesting, actually, because she was saying all this really wild stuff pretty uninhibitedly, but then would also stop every now and then and say, well, I have to be careful because you're not going to make me sound crazy, are you?
And I said, I'm just going to, you know, faithfully report what you say and what you tell your audience.
You have a huge audience.
That's the story to me.
I'm like an internet culture writer.
And, you know, I did think when the story.
story came out, she was maybe going to send me a pissed off email, but then she sent an email
about how much she loved the piece. Yes, yes, because we can all see the same thing and take away
very different conclusions from it. She's like, this is awesome. You have me talking about the Miami
Nephilim, you have me talking about CERN? I mean, this is all stuff I love. This is stuff I've
cornered people trying to buy a house and explain to them for 15 minutes in the Foyer. Well, you know,
the article is very fair. And in the spirit of that, you know, the deep dive that I sort of did on her
early video, you know, her very early videos, I tried to do the same approach. And so, Auntie, if you're
listening, somehow you find this, I hope you feel like we did you justice. Don't, don't,
don't try to pander to this person. I love it. She'll never listen to this.
Auntie Coulette, we love you. We love you so much. You're a wonderful, wonderful.
woman who just happens to believe in a lot of weird stuff.
So in regards to Auntie Coulette, you know, I think that her more kind of out there videos
are what bring people in initially. And then they kind of stay because sandwiched in between
the conspiracy theories and ghost videos and photos of angels, there's a person who might have
just as many followers without any of that. But like there's also ghosts and angels and
shit. So, you know, it's like you sort of said, Miles, a one-stop shop. Yeah, I mean, she could very
easily be, like, a Taylor Swift, like, kind of fan influencer. You know what I mean? Like,
she just has that thing of, like, just kind of bubbliness, gullibility, and then a mix of ringlight
and, like, face-smoving filters. Yeah, she's known for her, like, snort laugh, and she also does
a thing where she like scrunches up her face and goes angry face angry face
people love that she's got this like wink click that she does that she even had a hashtag
for a while wink click and then she made a video about how TikTok was censoring the hashtag wink
click and she didn't really understand the Chinese government just didn't like the winking
I think I've captured 10 of her in pal world I got the bonus XP for this yeah you got her in
The minds already.
Manic Pixie Girl.
So I'm sure it will be a surprise to no one here.
But to me personally, you know, the most compelling thing about Colette is that she also, on
occasion, somehow manages to have, like, scripted Y.A. horror scenes that take place
in her videos.
And I've got a couple of them clipped.
So you'll see what I'm talking about.
But before we get into all that, I'd like to go back to the very beginning.
Now, Miles, you wrote in your article.
that Colette downloaded TikTok two years before she started posting, right?
Yeah, it was in 2018.
She was at a retreat with a real estate coach named Tom Ferry,
so we can blame all of this on him.
And he was telling all the realtors who were at this retreat,
you got to get TikTok, you got to start using it as a marketing tool, get on there.
So she was like, well, I'm too old for that.
She knew about it because her niece was using,
I think before TikTok it was called something else, like musically or something like
that. So she knew about it and she was like, no, that's for kids. I'm not going to use it. But she
downloaded it just because basically the guy leading the retreat said to you. But the
funniest thing about all this is that she really doesn't use the account to promote her business
at all. No, no. She never has. And her old handle had Realtor in it. But a funny thing I
discovered in talking to her is that Realtor is a trademarked term also. Like you have to be
part of this kind of like realty group, like certified by this group. So she was, yeah,
realtor on there, but never was using it that way, and then has really tried to maintain a pretty
hard line between this persona and, like, her business. Like, she does not talk about the business
at all. Yeah. And it also, you know, it became clear to me, you know, after she posts a couple
videos about her real estate business, and it sounds like it's going swimmingly. You know, there's
no, it's not like, oh, the business was struggling. So I had to make this social media account to
try to boost my, you know, public awareness, you know, or my, my, my sort of status as a
realtor. She doesn't do any of that. It seems like the business is going just fine without
any of this. Yeah, if you look at the website, it's pretty polished. She looks, she looks perfectly
at home in the realtor role. And then she and her husband own like a couple of other small
businesses in Elko, Nevada, which is like a small town, but they seem very successful. And
yeah, and when you look at some of the TikToks of their house, like it's, it's a big.
I actually, yeah, I'll mention that later on.
And, you know, for someone who we will see end up becoming massively popular
for warning her followers about the dangers of the demonic,
her very first video posted in May of 2020 is kind of ironic.
Oh.
We're going to need a young priest and an old priest stat.
Oh, she got a laugh out of Travis.
Oh, my goodness.
I was joking about the face moving, but like she has freckles.
And like, you cannot absolutely not see that.
added any of her other video.
No, she's heavily made up ever since then.
And she's like making a joke about being demonically possessed.
She's using a filter that blacks out both of her eyes.
And she's saying, we're going to need a young priest and an old priest, which I assume is a reference to the exorcist.
And it's kind of jokey.
There's no indication that she's really possessed or that she believes in that kind of stuff, anything like that.
What tickled Travis, though?
I'm curious now.
I don't know.
She's just using a filter, making a silly joke.
having a good time. You know, I feel like this is the appropriate use of TikTok.
Yes, totally. Yeah. I like that it's four seconds long. Yeah. Huge advantage.
That's the other way. It's a perfect sort of joke for TikTok, you know? It's like,
you're scrolling, you see someone do a silly little joke, you chuckle, you scroll on to the
next video. Now, in her very next video, she's already kind of got the TikTok format down.
New to TikTok, don't get this shit. Not sure I ever will.
Hopped on over here from Facebook.
Yeah, I'm one of those.
I probably know your mom.
Fuck Facebook.
We're here to invade.
Invade, I tell you.
Yes.
This is the actual manifesto.
Yes.
I found something.
You know, I can immediately see why she's charming.
She's not self-serious, you know.
She's like, you know, she's deflating the fact that she's not a younger person on this platform.
She's having a good time.
This would be so infuriating as a kid.
Like, all your friends love your mom.
She spends the entire sleepover hanging out with you.
Like, please, mom, could you just like, I just want to spend some time with my friends.
They love me.
No, let her stay.
She's cool.
Well, and I think you touch on something that I found really funny about this, you know, this video in particular.
She says she started posting on TikTok because she didn't like the vibes on Facebook.
And this is amazing because, you know, in our own lives, you know, we got off Facebook.
and logged on to Twitter or Instagram because we didn't like that Facebook had been invaded by our parents.
And now all the Gen Ziers are going to have TikTok invaded by their parents,
ultimately ruining the platform within the next 5 to 10 years, I would say.
Colette hints in other videos that she felt there was too much political drama on Facebook,
and she was tired of people being rude in the comments.
Fortunately for her, her experience will be much, much better on TikTok.
In another early video from May of that year, she jokes about her burgeoning platform.
Okay, so this is huge.
This is big.
I don't know how this happened, but I, oh yeah, watch out.
I have 11 followers.
Fuck.
That's awesome.
Let's do this.
Yes, this is, it's like, it's also like a new type of Christian that can like swear.
Yes.
They love to say shit like, Jesus fucking rules.
You know, it's like, whoa, whoa, that's great.
You can say that.
You can really see the first endorphins popping off in her eyes in that clip when she realizes that people are watching the videos.
Jeepers, H. Crackers.
But like Travis was sort of saying earlier, she's kind of got it.
You know, for the genre that she is sort of posting within, you know, out of touch Gen X or almost boomer kind of self-deprecatingly coming on to TikTok, she, you know,
I could see her becoming popular without any of the conspiracy stuff because her personality
sort of is perfect for this platform. And most of those early posts in May are exactly what
you would expect from a middle-aged realtor experimenting with TikTok content. She's trying out
the various augmented reality filters. She's making funny little skits about married life or two
adorable dogs or children. The pandemic rolls in and the content remains
surprisingly unpilled. She's posting videos of her and her friend grabbing handfuls of
toilet paper from like a department store bathroom, you know, all decent content and pretty
normal stuff for the time period. There is no mention of Trump or China or anything
that makes the viewer think she's even really closely involved with politics at all.
There are even videos where she makes jokes about Ouija boards and demonic possession,
but there's zero indication that she wants you to believe that these things are
real or dangerous. Despite some early references to past medical struggles, Colette seems to be living
a blessed life. You know, seemingly happy marriage, a loving teenage son. Her, you know, as Miles
mentioned earlier, her house is super nice. They have tons of gorgeous outdoor space. Her real
estate business seems to be going well. And Colette dives totally into content creation and
begins posting at least a video a day for most of May of 2020. But it's not long before the first
signs of conspiracy seep into Colette's channel. On May 27th, 2020, only a month after she began
posting to the platform, Auntie Coulette posts this video. Why? Why am I shadow banned again? Why do I feel like
my grandpa with the remote is me now with TikTok? Why is this so confusing? So hard. I literally
feel like I need to sacrifice a virgin to the TikTok gods. Why? Quit shadow banning me.
I'm a good person.
She's like, she's hilariously very, like, spoopy.
Like, she loves all the kind of Halloween, like, jokey stuff where it's like,
I need a priest, I'm possessed.
But, like, it seems pretty loose for her for someone who's later going to be claiming that
there's real Nephilim, like, wandering Miami malls.
She's like, you know, I got to sacrifice a virgin, like, ha, ha, ha, you know.
I don't know.
This is, I just love how, yeah, just being, like, an insane Protestant, just kind of,
bubbles to the surface eventually, no matter what your kind of chosen personality is, which in this
case seems like Jack Skellington, mom. I love that she says Shadow Band again. Yeah, it keeps happening.
Meaning that she believed that it has happened once before, but did not post about it. Also,
her, like, face smoothing filters are getting more and more intense. Oh, yeah, yeah. She definitely
goes under a transformation. Now, it's unclear if Shadow
is a term that she knew prior to TikTok, or if it is a term that one of her followers introduced her to.
And to be clear, while social media companies do have the power to boost and throttle posts,
shadow ban, at least according to them, isn't an official term or tool.
It's something that they potentially have the power to do, but it serves as a good excuse for people
to explain why their engagement is down.
You know, it's kind of like how an MBA 2K, the users don't really know the algorithms or RNG,
taking place behind the scenes when they go up for, you know, a big dunk or a three-pointer.
And because of that, when you get the ball stripped or you get your ankles broken,
it's common practice to blame the mistake on the game or the developers themselves.
This is so, such a stretch.
Definitely this is not that situation.
When I write the episodes, you get 2K references.
It's kind of like outwe and NBA 2K.
So a couple days later, Colette posts her first.
paranormal-ish video. She and her husband are renovating a pub they purchased,
and Colette claims that the disturbance has stirred up a whole slew of
ghost activity within the building. The post doesn't receive a ton of
engagement, there are no ghosts captured on film or any poltergeist activity to
speak of. Collette receives 27 likes on the video with no discernible boost in
engagement. And basically, after that she goes back to normal posting. As she
begins to slowly gather followers on TikTok, Colette gets
more comfortable sharing pieces of her personal life, including her significant health struggles.
After a failed spinal fusion in 2013, and having just had a cancerous tumor removed from her neck
in April of 2020, it's pretty clear that Colette was dealt a really shitty hand and is often
in a lot of pain in her videos. Occasionally she'll ask for her followers, prayers on really
tough days, not unlike many people in her position. But there's no mention of not trusting the
doctors or alternative medicine or anything like that. In fact, quite the opposite. She often talks
about how much she loves the nurses and doctors on her current medical team and is a strong
voice of support for others dealing with serious health issues. The first time Colette ever mentions
Angels on her channel is in a moving eulogy video posted in July of 2020 for a friend who
had recently passed away. She mentions how if it weren't for her injury, she'd be riding in the
Harley motorcycle procession with the rest of the quote-unquote crew. This was the first time I'd
discovered that Colette is also a biker chick, which rules. Up until this point, this is her
most popular video receiving over 200 likes. In between heartfelt posts like this or positive
affirmations, Collette occasionally posts what I consider to be pretty harmless conspiracy content,
like a viral video of bugs flying past a security camera with the caption,
Yas, fairies are real. So like pretty harmless stuff and, you know, stuff that you see
go viral a lot on this kind of platform. I didn't get to include it in the story, but she did
have a long anecdote about talking with fairies and that they, that they, she realized that
sometimes they'll just show up and be sitting there on the coffee table and, uh, and she'll have to
tell them, um, you know, not now. I'm busy. Like, I don't want to talk to a fairy right now.
Well, this actually brings me to my next clip because on September 26 of 2020, Colette shares her first
paranormal photograph and comes out as a psychic medium. The tone is decidedly different from her
normal content. There is no joking. At first, the image is kind of impressive. It's an eerie looking cloud
of mist with some shapes that look like they could be some kind of figure. I am a psychic medium and
I have seen spirit since I was a little girl. I had been having an extremely difficult day and
was sitting with one of my best friends, Michelle, when suddenly I saw a beautiful fairy girl with a
basket in her hand stepping up and across my coffee table. I'd asked her to stop multiple times as
I just wasn't in the mood. I threatened to get my camera out as fairies do not like their
pictures taken, but she continued on. I blew smoke to capture her, as this is one way you can
capture a spirit on film. And what I captured that day will forever be the most magical
and mystical thing I've ever gotten. You can clearly see her face, her basket, her foot,
and wing, with her knee bent up to her chest as I had captured her in midstep. You can clearly
see the ring of flowers along her beautiful blonde hair, and her hand grasping the basket stretched
out in front of her. You can see her shoulder next to her cheek and her elbow touching her knee.
My forever favorite part of this picture is her foot.
How clearly you can see her foot stepping up on my coffee table.
She is such a beautiful reminder that we are surrounded by magical things.
You just have to open your eyes to see them.
Smoking on that fairy pack.
Wait a fucking second here.
So, okay.
So under the coffee table, it looks like pure chaos.
Like the floor is just filled with objects, like just insane.
And then the coffee table has Marlboro Reds, which, what's up.
You know what's good.
And then a vizine.
So I'm going to guess that that smoke, Auntie Kulet, is the kind of smoke you take in so you can see the fairies.
So they start appearing.
And I also, based on the latest trickle down, we might have a case of lead poisoning here.
My favorite part about this story is that she told the fairy to fuck off.
Like she saw the fairy and then was like, you know what?
I'm busy.
Yeah.
Just rules.
They're so, yeah, they're so commonplace for her to see that she's at the point where she's annoyed at their presence.
You know, I'll admit that the fact that she blew smoke into the frame makes a lot of the mist much less impressive.
But there's something else here.
Colette introduces a dynamic piece of lore to the universe of fairies that they can be revealed when shrouded in smoke.
You can just imagine how a skilled director might make use of this device in a horror movie.
It's not just, yes, fairies are real.
It's, I've captured one in my house using an age-old fairy-catching technique.
That is decidedly more compelling.
Yeah, and it has to be weed smoke too, so that would be awesome.
It's just like a movie about teenagers getting increasingly high and increasingly desperate as the fairies close in on them.
That would be good, actually, if it starts out as kind of a Harold and Kumar stoner comedy that then shifts into a kind of paranormal, like, horror fairy film.
I like that.
I'd buy that movie.
Harold and Kumar go through latent schizophrenic break.
And sure enough, this particular video receives over 3,000 likes and over 20,000 views.
As far as I could tell, this was Colette's first real hit.
Now, keep in mind, at this point, her handle is still at Realtor Chick.
She is literally the ghost realtor from Nathan for you.
She continues to post throughout the year, and I'm kind of waiting for the COVID conspiracy content to kick you.
But it surprisingly doesn't, and I say surprisingly because if you're a Christian boomer or Gen Xer on TikTok in 2020 posting about shadow bands, odds are you're going to be exposed to more right-wing conspiracy content.
There's even a post from October 6 of that year, where Collette can be seen outside a hospital with her face mask looped over her ear as she's talking to the camera about the passing of one of her favorite nurses.
There's no big stink about masks or altercations with the hospital staff or anything.
Just sincere sadness and shock about the news that her friend had passed away.
And it's clear she received some backlash for it
because in the very next video,
she politely reminds her followers that she will not engage in, quote-unquote, political talk.
I respect everybody else's use on this TikTok.
But one thing I do refrain from is political talk
because there is no way to please the entire crowd.
It's not a good topic.
No bueno. Don't do it. Oh, God.
Refrain?
That is all.
Yeah, she had a funny take on this.
when we talked where she said, you know, as a realtor, you learn to not be political because you'll either
lose one half of your customers or the other. And I think she practices that in the TikToks. I asked her
to at one point predict anything about the 2024 election. And she got way more careful about what she was
saying. Basically, all she would say was that some people think Trump is the Antichrist, but he's not.
So don't worry about it. Okay. Well, I would still blow some weed smoke on him and just make sure there's not like fairies.
I want to see his basket in it. I want to see his foot. Donald with a little flower crown. That's very cute.
So, you know, to me this video is amazing because this version of Colette is like this perfectly preserved time capsule where conspiracies and the paranormal can exist independently without being tied to politics.
Throughout the early days of the pandemic, there are zero COVID denial videos. She even duets with one TikTok creator who is celebrating being moved off of the COVID floor in the hospital because his virus.
level is low enough that he's no longer infectious.
And in a video posted on November 3rd, the day before the 2020 election, Colette encourages
her followers to get out to the polls, but still refuses to explicitly endorse either
Trump or Biden.
Happy Election Day, everybody.
Now, remember, I don't care who you vote for, so please don't put anything nasty in the
comments.
Let's keep it nice and private.
But I do want to remind you guys, we have these constitutional rights that people thought and
gave their lives for so that we.
could vote so get out there and exercise your constitutional right go out there and be the most
incredible american you can be and vote today's the day and be kind okay that's it
vote and be kind that's all that is all oh my god just constantly just on the edge of a mental
breakdown is just the vibe here see i i think that she's just quirky i think she's just quirky i think
she's hamming it up a little bit for the camera.
Yeah, she is a female joker, though.
However, on 117, 2020, after Joe Biden was declared the winner of the election,
Colette begins to slightly bend her no-politics rule.
Anybody else find it strange yet relieving that now that Biden has been president-elect,
nobody's rioting.
Strange.
But then, but then.
And I guess, yeah, soon after, soon, within a month of this.
As far as I could find, and trust me, I looked for it.
Now, TikTok and Miles, please jump in here to share your own struggles is probably the worst platform for any kind of research.
You cannot search by date.
The app is forcing you to essentially scroll through Colette's hundreds and hundreds of videos to get to a specific
period of time, and oftentimes I would scroll for 30 minutes waiting for each page of videos
to refresh, only to have the site kind of refresh and take me back to the top, you know,
before I got to the video that I was looking for. It was driving me nuts. I probably wasted
two hours just fuzzling around with TikTok alone. Yeah, no, I definitely identify with that
struggle. They make it really tough, especially if, you know, as you say, it's someone who really
floods the zone every single day
with videos that are also
nine or ten minutes long, so you can't
watch everything, you don't know what she's getting to
in the middle of those videos sometimes.
Yeah. Yeah, even
Twitter in its
long, slow, agonizing death
still has that advanced search function.
You can still find some good stuff.
So yeah, horrible platform.
Horrible. Now, the riots, I think
Colette is referring to in that video
were the BLM protests following the
murders of Briona Taylor, George Floyd,
and the near-fatal shooting of Jacob Blake at the hands of the police.
And that somehow Joe Biden was pulling the strings?
I mean, it's really the first step towards what Colette will ultimately become.
And it's actually a first leap because in her very next video,
she seems to suggest that Joe Biden being elected signals the beginning of the end times.
Rapture Joe.
This morning I woke up just, you know what, not feeling it.
This whole country is just so divided.
There's so much anger.
there's so much fear and it's just
so I turn on my EVP recorder just out of curiosity
to see if maybe the spirits had something they wanted to say
and I had it on and I almost forgot it was on because it wasn't saying anything
which is really weird for my EVP recorder to not pipe up
anyways um this has me shook guys suddenly it said revelations
and I thought well that's a weird word for my EVP recorder to say
a few minutes later it said horse and right after that it said divide and war
You guys, I don't know how familiar you are with the Bible, but Revelations, the horsemen come.
Guys, I think that this is the closest our country has ever been, not only to a civil war, but as a world to revelations.
This has me shook.
It's like if the history channel were a person.
This is both supernatural and also points to the Bible.
Also, I wouldn't say it's the closest the country has ever been to a Civil War, considering there was a Civil War once.
Well, Travis, at the bottom of the video, as you guys can see, but the listeners,
can't. There is also like, you know, a roving kind of block of text that appears in large
block letters. And this is going on while the video is playing. And she does this quite a bit
where she'll have a video and then there will be kind of the real message in text at
the bottom. I don't know if she thinks that this is a way to get around TikTok sensors or
if it's just a way to cram more content and conspiracies into her videos. But I'm going to read
that text for you now.
It reads, not good.
Lots of exclamation points.
Lots of exclamation points.
These are scary times stepping back and looking in.
Our country has been strategically divided.
We have been duped.
We have been lied to.
And we have been played against each other.
This is the closest we have been since 1861 to a civil war.
We, and then this is in all caps, need to find our way back to
good as a country. One nation, indivisible, before it's too late.
Oh, man. Towards the end of 2020, Colette starts doing live readings during which she begins
pulling in viewers that number in the thousands. After claiming to have been clairvoyant
about the death of a friend's child, it appears that Colette had gotten some psychic street
cred, and being the generous spirit that she is, offered that service to her followers, both
privately and on TikTok Live. Now, I find this story a little interesting, as it is
most likely one of those times where a vague prophecy is used to explain a specific event in hindsight.
So on November 2nd, Collette posted a video where she chokes back tears while speaking to her audience saying,
Somebody woke up devastated this morning. Somebody is waking up and someone close to them is gone.
It goes on like this and is, I think, a general example of doing what's known as a cold reading, right?
You know, if you've got tens of thousands of followers, odds are one of them will have just experienced some type of loss.
But a couple days later, in a different video, Colette informs her viewers that the episode she had on the second, even though she didn't know it at the time, was about her friend's daughter.
She'd been murdered while working at her shift at McDonald's.
Now, this unfortunately did happen. In Colette's hometown of Elko in Nevada, a 24-year-old man walked up to a McDonald's drive-thru window and shot 16-year-old Kylie Lez's while she was working there.
The Elko police said the murder was completely random and senseless as the pair had no connection.
The next day, the guy turned himself in and was charged with murder.
This was reported by People magazine in an article that was published on November 4th of 2020.
But the murder itself took place around 9 p.m. on November 1st, the night before Collette posted her premonition about someone losing a loved one.
Okay.
Now, I know that the Travis views of the world will say that, yes, this is a somewhat creepy coincidence, albeit a horribly tragic one.
And, of course, our heartbreaks for the family and friends of that young woman.
But in the world of psychic TikTok, it was more than enough of a proof.
And from that point forward, it seemed like Colette's followers took her alleged psychic abilities seriously.
Doing live readings was just a natural progression.
Peppered in between her jokey, wholesome family videos,
and videos discussing her connection with God and angels and spirits,
Colette begins going into great detail about her grueling medical ordeal
following a failed three-level spine fusion in 2013.
After getting a second opinion from the doctors,
they discovered that the fusion had failed,
and Colette claims her head actually detached from her neck
during a second round of surgeries.
Did she bring that up at all when you were talking, Miles?
Yeah, there's something called an internal decapitation,
which is real and very, very serious,
and almost everyone will just die.
So apparently during one of these surgeries, yeah, that happened,
which was not the plan, and she miraculously survived this.
But this is something that people have sort of challenged,
her on, I believe, because she will get on TikTok now and then and say, no, this really
happened. It's a real thing. Look it up. Yeah, whatever did happen, pretty, pretty serious
neck problems. And yeah, like you said, she can't ride the Harley anymore. Yeah. Colette says that
she was told due to the failed first fusion, she developed a cancerous tumor in her neck, a trauma
tumor that she calls it, that was finally removed in April of 2020. The extreme pain that she was
experiencing was due to the screws in her spinal column coming loose, which sounds absolutely excruciating.
And you don't have to take her word for it, Colette posts numerous x-rays spanning the entire
ordeal. Like I said earlier, you know, it seems like she was dealt a really shitty hand, you know,
health-wise. And it's worth noting that even as of December 11th in 2020, Colette can be seen in a
video getting a COVID test at a drive-through center. Holy shit, remember those? No mention that the virus is
fake or man-made or any other COVID-related conspiracies. In a following video, Colette can be seen in her
house quarantined, super grateful for some of her real estate clients who brought her a bunch of food
and snacks because she couldn't go to the grocery store. She's also distraught that her teenage son
who contracted the virus has to haul up in a hotel over Christmas because Colette is so at risk
due to her numerous medical conditions. She shares text messages from her doctors, telling her how
contagious the virus is, and that if her son were to stay at the residence with them while he
covered, she had a very high chance of getting sick herself. So I found this really surprising because I
was sure, you know, most people in her age group who got on social media who are superstition and
conspiracy friendly and especially if they are, you know, devoutly religious, even in a sort of casual
way like Colette is, you're going to interact with COVID conspiracy theories. And it just really isn't
there. And I don't know, maybe Miles, you've got some thoughts on this, but part of me wonders if,
you know, because she's been through so many medical things and, you know, has, you know,
survived what she claims are, you know, really, really life-threatening sort of ordeals,
that she actually has a healthy amount of respect and trust for, you know, people in the medical
profession. I think that's exactly right. Her experience is so extreme and she had to put so much
trust in these doctors and you know even had these incidents where you know she claimed that she never
needed her original surgery to begin with so like the things have gone horribly wrong even in the
medical scene and she still puts all this trust in the in these doctors and I think there's
something to where she just considers that not her field she she defers to the experts there but
she's the expert on angels and other dimensions right capturing fairies on film that's her world so
she can kind of expound on that as an authority.
But when it comes to medicine, she's, you know, she's like, oh, well, they know what they're doing.
That's just the vibe I got.
Yeah, me too.
It's amazing, though, because she really does stay in her lane.
And there is no doubt that she was coming across that kind of content.
I just know that based on, I'm guessing what she's looking at on TikTok.
And I'm imagining what the algorithm is trying to feed her.
So the fact that she really steers clear from that, I thought showed a tremendous amount of restraint and was kind of rare for somebody in this space.
Well, she also is really cognizant of getting slapped with the misinformation label.
She does not want that.
She does not want her audience reach limited.
She's seen that happen.
She does her, you know, for entertainment purposes only in front of anything she says to avoid being, you know, deep boosted or shadow band or whatever she's.
afraid of. Yeah, she's totally aware of that stuff. So Colette doesn't contract COVID,
thankfully, and after three weeks, her son finally tests negative and is allowed to return to the
family home. It appears that for the time being, things are looking up. But then, in the days
leading up to New Year's something terrifying happens on Colette's stream. Right as she's in the
middle of going live on TikTok to do psychic readings, she claims a demonic presence entered the
chat and was trying to prevent her from continuing the stream.
Here's a video she made a couple days later with the clip of the event.
And I want to say earbud warning audio feedback.
Ever on my lives, I'm a psychic clairvoyant medium, and I do readings.
And last night, we had some really weird stuff happen.
In fact, one thing scared me so much.
I had to hop off the live.
It was like something did not want me to continue.
Suddenly, we started getting this horrific feedback.
I wasn't plugged into anything.
I've never had this happen before or since.
And it was absolutely bone-chilling.
Also, people heard heartbeats and growls.
It was pretty intense.
So if you're listening to this with an earbuds, please take them out.
It will hurt your ears.
It chilled me to the bone.
Here, if you're a child, please don't watch this.
I think I said the F word, so please.
It was pretty scary.
What?
No, you get peace not going off.
You guys, this is freaking out.
No, I have it in my...
Holding the microphone up to the ring. I don't know what's going on her.
Holding the microphone up to the speaker at the wedding.
I don't know what's happening.
And she's blasting a SIG.
She rules.
Okay, so we got a lot to unpack here.
So that video received 40,000 views, which was one of her bigger, if not the biggest video that she had posted up until this point.
Now, she claims that her viewers heard growling and a heartbeat as well during the episode,
but it just sounds like audio feedback to me.
Also, in the video, we get a little insight as to what's happening just off Colette's camera.
First of all, as my wonderful co-host mentioned, Colette is 100% blasting a SIG.
You can tell she's got a lit Siggy in her hands.
I've screenshoted it for you, fellas.
And it's really funny because up in the corner of the live, it says, good connection.
And number two, Colette has some kind of monstrous iPad set up.
I believe she has an EVP app open on her iPad.
Oh my God, this is stressing me out.
I didn't see this before.
Yes.
So with all of the chargers and cords, with an app that specifically designed to somehow use your iPad
to convert electromagnetic waves into text or voice, I have to wonder whether this played a part
in the audio feedback she was getting.
Yeah, she has like a fucking, she has like three different things connected and they're just sitting right on the screen.
I mean, yeah, okay, you're getting some interference.
The dongles are just triangulated.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, I'm not surprised that opened a portal, honestly.
Yeah, this, if anything, yeah, you're worried about CERN, look at your iPad setup, okay?
This is a message to everybody out there.
Do not balance two chargers and a extension cable.
on top of the screen of the iPad while you are using your EVP app.
That one charger isn't even plugged in to anything.
It's just sitting on the top.
Just the raw electricity going into the screen.
Maybe that helps somehow.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Who are we to question her methods?
I will mention that according to her,
some of her followers reached out to tell Colette
that her voice was coming through a different live broadcast
happening simultaneously on TikTok.
Real talk, guys.
So I promised I'd go live today at one.
I'm going to be 100% honest with my feelings.
I'm a little bit nervous about that.
Number one, last time I went live, we had some creepy, crazy shit happen and the feedback
and all this other stuff.
But then I also found out from another user.
That night, he was watching another mediums live, and my voice actually merged into
her live.
What the hell?
Anyways, ever since that live, I've been having some pretty crazy stuff happening in my house.
I'm waking up every morning at 3 with severe anxiety.
I'm seeing some pretty dark shadows.
Anyways, I had 15,000 people in my live once, like three lives back.
Now, you cannot tell me that at least one of those people doesn't have a demonic attachment.
And demons tend to enjoy attaching to people like me if they get the opportunity.
So if you do the math, 15,000 people, that's a lot of demon possibilities.
So the other thing is, is I'm afraid to go live because my friends like Georgia landscaper, tamed lyric,
all these other guys' lives are getting banned.
I'm petrified to go live because what if they ban me?
and I can't get it back.
This is the same logic I use with, like, Patreon where it's like, well, we have like 20,000,
21,000 subscribers.
Yeah, like at least five demons.
Easily.
It explains a lot of the comments.
Yeah.
I think more than that, probably.
Yeah.
Yeah, we have a particularly high amount of demons.
By the end of 2020, Realtor underscore Chick had amassed over 100,000 followers.
Now, interestingly enough, collect.
Pilledness seems to become somewhat stagnant throughout most of 2021. Most of 2021. Like I said,
and, you know, this is not a perfect science because of the difficulties we mentioned about TikTok's
platform. But I could not find any videos either condemning or supporting the riots at the Capitol
on January 6th. Colette shares that her cancer scans have come up negative. Her real estate business
is booming. She's named the best of Zillow. There's some lighthearted joking about the
advantages of being a psychic mom, you know, catching your kid, you know, catching your kid doing something that they're not supposed to or, you know, whatever. But nothing really overtly political or conspiratorial. In fact, a lot of her content revolves around positive affirmations, her delight at her growing popularity on TikTok, and explicit messages about flushing out negativity and even racism. In some of the videos, she's doing duets with other creators, standing in solidarity with a black creator who was experiencing racism in his comments from online trolls.
pro-mental health posts, honoring friends and other creators who are battling with medical issues of their own.
It's interesting to see the conspiratorial graphs seem to plateau for the better part of the year,
all the way up to October of 2021. That's right, when she gets into Halloween content, Julian, which you predicted.
I'm telling you, she's spoopy.
In the first video of a three-part series, Colette lists off little fun bits of history and lore about Halloween,
And it's pretty harmless, but as the series progresses, it becomes quite clear that Colette believes in a lot more than ghosts, angels, and demons.
The empires are real. So are witches. And mark my words, eventually, zombies are going to come about to play, too.
Werewolves are real. Halloween is all of those fuckers' favorite night.
On Halloween night, never look at a window of an unlit porch.
Do not, and I repeat, do not whistle anywhere at all, especially in your house on Halloween night.
It calls to evil spirits and the D word.
So no, no, no, no, whistling.
Put away all of your knives on Halloween, hide them because family members that might try to come visit you could inadvertently accidentally hurt themselves.
If you want wishes to come true, write them on a piece of paper on Halloween night.
Fold that paper six times, once towards you to the right, once towards you to the right.
And then take it outside with a white candle and burn it by that flame.
Inspect all of those pictures you take of your little goblins and ghouls.
You might be surprised.
You might catch a spirit.
And if you encounter a ghost on Halloween night, walk around it nine times to banish it.
Do not go outside on Halloween night with wet hair.
Spirits glom onto hair.
And wet hair makes it that much easier.
And finally, the fear of Halloween is real.
It's called Sawinophobia, the fear of Halloween.
Phasmophobia, the fear of ghosts.
Wicophobia, the fear of witches.
Nictophobia, the fear of darkness and night.
And necrophobia, the fear of the dead.
So there you have it, my little goblin ghost, which is in.
ghouls. I love you so much. Just a little bit of Halloween superstition for you. Stay safe.
No knives on Halloween. You can't eat dinner on Halloween. I'm curious to understand the
lore behind ghosts somehow being able to cut themselves on knives. What she's saying your family
can get hurt or the ghost will stab? The ghosts. Well, the ghost, she's saying that your family members
who come to visit you, i.e. your dead family members, might injure themselves if you leave a knife
out on the counter, kind of implying that ghosts are really kind of the same as toddlers. And,
you know, if you leave dangerous stuff out in the kitchen, they might, you know, hurt themselves.
A ghost might burn itself on the stove if you lean it on.
You know, this reminds me a lot of witch talk, which is the horrifying phenomenon that Liv
tortured me with a couple of episodes back. This video was Colette's biggest to date, gaining over
800,000 views and hundreds of thousands of likes.
Amidst the overwhelmingly positive response, it became apparent that Colette had received some
criticism as well.
But not because she claimed that vampires and were real.
Instead, some of the other witches in the TikTok community were concerned that Colette
had neglected to mention good or helpful witches.
Hi.
Hey, guys, I made a video yesterday.
Actually, I made three videos about Halloween, superstition, and folklore.
And it seems as though it may have ruffled some feathers of some witches, and that was
never my intention. It was more on part three that we had issues. So I'm not sure if they even
saw part one when I addressed the fact that witches have actually gotten a bad rap. And back in
the day, they were highly respected. They were called the Mothers of Earth and the Crones because
they held so much wisdom for others. And they were, yes, able to work magic. But back in the
day, centuries and centuries ago, just like with anything, people who are afraid of something
and ignorant, cast a bad picture on it. They do. And that's what happened to witches.
And look, Colette, I feel you. You can't please everyone as much as you want to. And the bigger you
get, inevitably, the more haters you're going to attract. So I can empathize. But this marks the
beginning of Colette's Things I Wish I knew series of TikTok videos, which have become a staple on her
channel. In fact, as Miles wrote in his article, one of Colette's most viewed videos, 11.7
million plays as of this writing is a video titled Things I Wish I Knew when I was 20,
where she offers relationship advice, advises people to work on their credit early,
and then casually mentions that Tupac and Biggie, quote, aren't dead, yo.
Oh, my God, she is the conservative Xenny Jardin.
Yeah.
So, Miles, you know, what do you think it was about that particular video that caused TikTok users to just fully embrace her?
I think this was the culmination of the stuff we saw very early.
where she's joking about being an older person invading the platform,
not really knowing how it works, being out of touch.
But here she really finds her niche because she can give out advice to younger people.
She's realizing who she's talking to and that they will be kind of bold over by a woman who's
sort of confident in her age and appearance.
She's like waxing her face in this video, which I think she mentioned kind of like probably.
She said if I knew it was going to be so big, I wouldn't be waxing my face.
But I think that is sort of the vulnerability that makes it accessible and nice.
It's like, oh, you know, she's just literally just trying to pull the hair out of her face while she is telling you, you know, stuff that she wishes she had known when she was 20.
And if you are a young person on this platform, maybe you just haven't encountered the cool aunt character yet.
And you can really latch on to that.
And then she's throwing out, you know, these subtle little, uh,
conspiratorial nods. I don't know that, you know, a 14-year-old even knows who
Tupac is, you know, just to begin with. So maybe that sends you off into the
comment section. You want to learn a little bit more? Before you know it, yeah, you're
probably on her page for a little while. Yeah, you are not expecting this very, very white
woman who is doing makeup and talking about relationships and don't start smoking and all of
these, you know, pretty wholesome life tips. And then they kind of casually throw in, you
that these two rappers, you know, who died, God, I mean, over 20 years ago, you know, that they're not dead, yo.
It's so, to me, I, yeah, I feel like this perfectly tickles the sensibilities of Gen Z where it is this kind of heartfelt sort of authentic tutorial.
And then just you're thrown a complete zig and the sort of, I don't know, incompatibility of those two thought processes, I think are just like really interesting and funny and dynamic.
Yeah, and then her advice gets to be, you know, it merges into the superstitious stuff so she can say, you know, leave a glass of water out next to you when you go to bed because that like absorbs the evil spirits that might try to, you know, attack you in your dreams or something like that.
Yeah.
But she delivers it very matter-of-factly as though it's, you know, you need to pay your credit card off every month.
Yeah, she does, she does have good lore within her kind of paranormal beliefs, really specific stuff, as if you are, you know,
at Christmas Eve dinner and your aunt has had, you know, one too many glasses of eggnog,
and she kind of pulls you aside and starts saying, oh, by the way, you want to bury a jar filled
with salt outside your house, because that way the spirits that are roaming around on Christmas
Eve that can't get in, okay? You know, that's my Colette impression.
Nice. Pretty good. Another popular video in the series is titled Things I Wish I knew about the
portal opening at CERN. But she does know.
them. It doesn't make sense. She does
know, yeah. So from here on out
Colette changes her handle from
at Realtorchick to Auntie
Colette and the rest is history.
She starts posting videos about
the Mandela Effect and essentially
endorses just about every
other conspiracy out there. I'm
talking Nephilim. I'm talking
Flat Earth. I'm talking mermaids.
I'm talking about revelations. Cats
and dogs living together. Mass
hysteria. If you haven't noticed this world's
flipped upside down. More so late
than usual. And there is actually a very good reason for this, so let's get to it. In a world
where not many can agree upon much, it seems the general consensus is that we are nearer to end
of times than ever before. And many believe Yeshua, Jesus is heading back soon. And if we know it,
I'm going to guarantee you, Satan knows it too. Hence, the chaos spurred by the devil's sense
of urgency. He knows his time left here on earth is running out. So he and his demons are now
working overtime, yo. To carry out his ultimate plan. What's his ultimate plan, Auntie? Glad you
fast. The devil has been working since the beginning of his time here on earth to separate as many
of God's children from God. And with his time running out, he is doing it like never before. And trust me,
when I say he's got plenty of help now, the world has always been the devil's play place and he's
always had plenty of demons for help. But many believe that Cern opened a portal this time last year
to a place that is chock full of demonic beings that have since flooded our entire world. Jeez, thanks.
In fact, ever since Cern opened that portal, countless people have reported starting to see shadow figures,
people that never had seen spirits before at all.
This started happening a law.
Spiritual attack is a very real thing.
Demonic attachment, infestation, and possession are real.
In fact, it is extremely common for people to experience.
Spiritual attack when they strengthen their relationship with God.
With this being said, I feel it is vital,
that people can understand and recognize the warning signs
of a potential demonic or spiritual attack.
The amount of stuff she puts on her face is...
It's wild. I'm like the layers of chemicals.
and then she's profoundly just choosing a different skin tone.
Like, and I, you know, this is, I mean, just the level.
What are you feeling right now?
Tell, tell the listeners.
She's too close to me.
Stop dabbing weird shit all over your face.
I feel like I'm caught in a fucking ritual.
Looking at her with the towel on her head and the way she dabs it seems ritualistic in itself.
It looks like she's doing.
Yeah.
It looks like she's doing magic.
Yeah, war paint for the imminent spiritual battle.
Yeah, exactly.
While it would be impossible for me and unhealthy to watch every single one of the hundreds of videos Colette has posted since May of 2020,
it appears as if she mostly kept her word about keeping politics primarily out of her videos.
Now, I have to add, that's not to say it doesn't exist.
It's pretty clear from Collette's outrage at the Balenciaga ad campaign and her assuredness that the end times
are approaching, you know, who she voted for in 2020.
However, the only video regarding Donald Trump that I found after scrolling through literally
hundreds of her videos is one where he's being interviewed on Hannity.
And the camera pans to somebody in the audience who looks like Michael Jackson.
Okay.
So she's not concerned with what Trump is saying or there's nothing political.
It's just a moment when the camera pans over and she's like, who's that?
Who's that in the audience?
And it's somebody who is dressed exactly like Michael Jackson.
What were they doing at Hannity?
I don't know.
I don't know.
As I mentioned in the beginning of the episode,
every now and again, Colette's content and her beliefs
get blessed with what I would categorize as free production value
that helps sell a lot of the claims she makes in her videos.
For example, there's one video where she's attempting to do
one of those awesome viral TikTok dances that everybody loves,
and two floating orbs dart out and swirl around her.
And in one of Colette's most popular video series of all time,
we watch in horror as her entire house is engulfed in a swarm of locusts.
For an end-times believer, this is an insane get.
I honestly don't know who I feel worse for.
Me or my FedEx delivery guy.
I have been waiting for those packages for a week.
I shared a couple of videos yesterday of our...
current situation of disgusting vile Mormon cricket infestation at my home.
What? And both of the videos went viral. I can't imagine why.
Oh, sweet baby, Lord, Jesus. I'm a prisoner in my own home.
This is my current reality. And yeah, I'm not okay with it. Not at all. Not one bit.
I'm literally, like I said, a prisoner in my home because there is no way I am stepping out there.
those things fall off, jump off, uh-uh, and I've got a bad neck, so no thanks.
There are an insane amount of crickets, just absolutely infesting every wall and surface
right outside her home. So I've never related to her more. I would, I'd be pretty chill.
I'd be pretty chill. I'd be staying inside. I'd be booting up a video game.
And I think, you know, what you just said is one of the things that it's sort of this kind of
happy accident that's contributed to her massive popularity is that she seems to have these events
happen around her, you know, this is, this is like straight out of a horror movie, except in a
horror movie, all the crickets would be CGI. That is not the case here. Yeah, you know,
if I were a very biblically inclined person, I might take this as a sign. Yeah. But interestingly,
she doesn't interpret it that way. It's just a huge inconvenience. Right, right, right. And so these are
known as Mormon crickets. They come through Colette's town once a year, but they've never been
this bad. Collette is trapped in her house. There are so many of these things just dropping from the
underside of her roof and doorways that she's afraid to leave. And she explains that a sharp
jolt to shake the bugs off if they fell on her could seriously aggravate her injured neck and
spine. So I think that's a legitimate concern, and I really feel for her in these videos. I mean,
And she posts a bunch of these, the crickets, they get into their house, they're jumping around, they drive the dogs crazy.
I mean, it is, it's absolutely horrifying.
And they're big, too.
These are not like the crickets that you get to feed your lizard from the pet store.
These things are, they look like they're at least an inch to two inches long, big, long, spindly legs.
I mean, really just massive.
The swarm of crickets was so noteworthy that it made the nightly news.
And who did they interview?
Take a guess.
So there's something really creepy happening in Nevada right now.
It's a cricket invasion.
Steve Patterson reports from the center of it all.
It is happening right now, a small town under invasion.
Oh, it's disgusting.
It's so gross.
This is Elko, Nevada, besieged by Mormon crickets.
It is disgusting.
They're literally everywhere.
ground zero the once quiet home of colette reynolds it was very apocalyptic feeling i couldn't sleep i couldn't eat
everything you eat looks like a Mormon cricket colette says it felt like living in the old testament
oh my god and did it feel that way to you did it feel biblical i prayed a lot about it the critters
are a migratory menace wait so they're sitting outside among the crickets doing the interview that's
awesome they're sitting outside among the crickets the news interviewer is saying
saying, oh, yeah, so it did feel kind of biblical.
And she's saying, yeah, it did a little, yeah, I prayed about it.
And the interviewer doesn't know that she actually does believe in the end times.
I mean, this is such a funny intersection between reality and social media and conspiracy.
It's just wild that we've gotten this gift.
Well, to be fair, like a third of America believes that.
Like, that's not even an uncommon belief for an American to have that the end times are here.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Guess that's true.
Hey, what are you going to do?
Maybe they are here.
Mm-hmm.
But Colette didn't need the news to become famous.
You know, she already was online.
And at the time of this writing, she has 2.2 million followers and over 50 million likes on her videos.
Now, I want you to think back all the way to the beginning of this episode, to the kooky aunt playing with TikTok filters, making fun of herself for being too old to be on the app.
and generally happy seeming.
Now, I'm going to play you this recent clip from her channel,
now that she's an extremely successful TikTok influencer.
Ooh, we might have done it again.
We may have solved a biblical mystery.
And whether you're religious or not, this affects you too.
If you would have told me even a year ago that I would one day be a flat herther,
ooh, I would have laughed at you so hard.
But over the past few months, my world has changed.
My flat world, as has the whole world itself in many, many ways.
But if you haven't noticed lately, people are beginning to open their eyes,
Fresh off the heels of accusations to NASA, that they have been faking and fraudulently sharing videos of the ISS using green screens and harnesses and invisible wires to fake footage that is actually filmed in a pool, along with recent proof that the moon landing never happened.
Buzz Aldrin himself has even said, hey, that didn't happen. We filmed it right here in a studio safely with feet on the earth.
Couple all of that with the six doppelganger of the seven deceased Challenger shuttle members who are out there living their best lives. Same faces, same names.
Guys, the Bible states clearly there's a firmament above us.
an impenetrable dome. In fact, it is so important, it is right there on page one of the Bible.
God created a firmament above the earth to separate the waters from the waters,
and he called the firmament heaven. So if there's an impenetrable dome above us,
space travel is virtually impossible. Many believe that NASA was formed as a diversion
to keep people from nosing around from Admiral Bird's discovery down by the South Pole.
Admiral Bird discovered land, lots of land, undiscovered land, down by Antarctica.
But sadly, after his television interview explaining this,
Bird passed away. A year later, NASA was formed. A year,
After that, the Antarctic Treaty was signed by all 12 countries, making exploration impossible.
Well, that seems suspicious. Many believe that Antarctica is actually an ice wall,
a total circumference around all of our continents, keeping waters of the oceans in place.
There are multiple maps just like this, that depict a potential truth of what our world really is.
There we are in the middle, just beyond our ice wall, lie other continents, and another ice wall surrounding them.
Beyond their ice wall, more continent, and another circular ice wall.
There are also maps like this one, showing multiple continents with ice walls around it, that cover
the surface of earth with one large ice wall at the end of it. There is not one single reference in the
Bible that the earth is around, but there are references to things such as, and I place the earth on
its foundation. You can't really put a foundation on a sphere. The four corners of earth are mentioned
multiple times. I don't care how many times I spin a tennis ball. I cannot find four corners on it,
but oh, when I said, oh, I discovered something in Book of Enon that just might clear all of this
up and answer our questions right now. Chapter 27, God said to Enon, as he was explaining and
describing how he created the earth.
And I commanded that there should be taken from light and darkness and I said,
be thick.
And it became thus.
And I spread it out with the light and it became water.
And I spread it out over the darkness below the light.
And then I made firm the waters.
That is to say the bottomless and I made foundation of light around the water and created
seven circles from inside.
Hmm.
Everything.
Everything feels weird.
I don't like this rhythm.
I, there must be children whose brain are just fucking boiling out of their ears.
Yeah. The Buzz Aldrin claim is really good, given that he famously on video punched a guy for saying
the moon landing was fake. Love that. Yeah. Just citing Buzz. Buzz said it. But there's no, you know,
early on, you know, there's kind of a rhythm. There's a pause between the edits. There's, you know,
kind of winking and nodding at the camera. But this is just straight on just conspiracy after conspiracy
after conspiracy after conspiracy. Just hammering, hammering, hammering, hammering, hammering you with it.
With the, you know, of course, the universal kind of soundtrack that all of these types of influencers put behind their conspiracy videos.
So she, in a weird way, has become totally assimilated to this space on TikTok and has been massively rewarded for it.
I mean, some of my favorite actors and musicians don't have 2.2 million followers on TikTok.
I mean, she's a star.
Yep. She figured out the algorithm for sure. That's something we talked about where she said,
hey, you know, I was really loving the audience I had, sharing my inspiring story of overcoming my
medical difficulties, giving advice to young kids, being the cool auntie. But over time,
that stuff just wasn't getting the engagement that this stuff was. And so all of a sudden
it's, yeah, Miami Mall, Nephilim, and this. And she knows her lane. This is what she's doing.
Yeah. And there's one video that I thought was particularly telling about where she is mentally. It's a, you know, a pretty intense video where she's sitting in front of her laptop and she's about to open an email from her doctor with the results of a recent MRI scan. And she's basically saying, I don't know if the cancer's back. I don't know if it's if I'm clear still. You know, I've been kind of putting this off all day. She goes on to say, but you know what? She says, there's something different now. There's something different now.
than when I battled this, you know, back in April of 2020.
And I thought that she was going to say, I beat this, you know, I beat this thing once.
I've already beaten it.
I know it can be beaten.
You know, I'm going to push through it.
But she says the difference is I have all of you now to support me.
So if I open this email and I see that the cancer is back, I at least know that we're all
going to go through it together and I have your support.
So it is this, you know, really kind of sad but also uplifting sort of idea that, you know, that the difference in her life is her social media following.
Which is interesting because it seems like she has a lot of friends in real life.
It seems like she has decent, healthy marriage.
Her kid is well behaved and they seem to really get along.
You know, she doesn't seem like the typical candidate that would turn to.
social media for support. So I don't know, yeah, it's a really interesting story. It's the anatomy
of, you know, the making of a pilled TikToker. And Miles, thank you so much for all the research
that you did. I encourage everybody to go check out Miles's article for Rolling Stone. And where else
could they find your work? Yeah, my byline at Rolling Stone is a good place to start. And you can also
find me on Twitter at You Wouldn't Post, and I'm on blue sky as well, just Miles Cleet there.
Thank you for listening to another episode of the QAA podcast.
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and it'll also cause you to lose your mind
so extra bonus
you can be your own Auntie Coulette
we guarantee that you will have crickets
stuck to the outside of your brain
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For everything else, we've got a website, that's QAnonanonymous.com.
Listener, until next week, may the Deep Dish bless you and keep you.
It's not a conspiracy, it's fact.
And now, today's auto-cue.
Guys, please don't make ante you have to tell you this.
Do not, under any circumstances, I don't care what the circumstances are.
I don't care if you just got robbed on the way to go into a restaurant
and then you find a penny on the floor.
Do not, don't you dare buy one of these one cent.
burgers from Wendy's don't or any other fast food chain. Ask yourself, how is it that Wendy's can now
sell one cent burgers during a recession and not just a recession, but guys, remember, we are in
the middle of a massive meat shortage. So how? How during something like this? Can they sell a burger
for one cent? Do not do it under no circumstances. I don't care how hungry you get, you'll get
angry. Don't do it. And the Simpsons have done it again. Don't believe me, Google it. There's
And how ironic that the burgers in the Simpsons episode were square, just like Wendy's.
Don't do it, guys, don't do it.
I have my own theory as to where this excessive meat came from.
I'm just going to keep that one to myself, though.
Just don't eat them, please.