QAA Podcast - Jake’s Takes Volume 4 (Premium E259) Sample

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Robbie Williams played by a CG Chimp, Russian spy beluga death, an incestuous poisoning through rave drugs, and the Harris campaign making “brain sludge content”. Liv and Julian get Jake’s takes on all of the above, plus some tweets from a fake Q account on X and the latest Andrew Tate freakout. Relax. Everybody just relax. It’s the return of Jake’s Takes. Subscribe for $5 a month to get all the premium episodes: http://www.patreon.com/QAA Pick up new merch! We've got a mug, a two-sided tee, a hoodie, and an embroidered hat. Each item shows off the new QAA logo by illustrator Pedro Correa. https://shopqaa.myshopify.com/ Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (https://instagram.com/theyylivve / https://sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (https://pedrocorrea.com) https://qaapodcast.com QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.

POMAYOR IMPRIEON- OO-hoo-Oh-hoo-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-W-O-oh-ha-ha-oh. If you're hearing this, well done, you've found a way to connect to the internet. Welcome to the QAA podcast, Premium Episode 259, Jake's Takes, Volume 4. You asked for it, we're giving it to you. As always, we are your host, Jake Rakatansky. Liv Baker. And Julian Field, who's here to, you know, spill some tea about my two-co.

host right off the bat. So, Liv, you got too drunk Friday night and then did not go to a baseball game that you planned to go to on Saturday? Yes, but it's a Vancouver baseball game, so I was not missing out on anything. Canadians don't play baseball, come on.

No, yeah. No, Canadian, especially West Coast. No. The city our wrists are too limp. How early into your night of drinking, did you have that moment with yourself where you went, I'm not going to that baseball game tomorrow.

Honestly, probably 10 p.m. Probably 10 p.m. Got to 10. You were having a good time. You were like, my night's not ending anytime soon. And I don't see myself getting any less drunk. I don't think I'm going to go to that baseball game. Who wanted to go anyways? Yeah.

It's rough. 26, I'm starting to get to the point where the hangovers really affect me. You've got no idea. You've got no idea it gets so much worse just wait you hit 30 you have two drinks and you get to you know the stage of like drunkenness where um you feel like you're going to throw up you get to that point before you're drunk you you take two two drinks and you're like oh my tummy i don't feel so good

and you're not even drunk whatsoever completely sober but sick that is amazing because coming from you because you you drink like such chemical concoctions made up by like starbucks or these like companies. That stuff is totally insane sludge. I have a new thing. So I've been going to Starbucks and every now and again I like switch up my order because I get tired of of whatever my usual is. And now I have an order so complicated that I've just made up a menu name for it in the hopes that they understand. So I basically, I would they. I basically am just like, it's this drink, but like instead of this syrup, use this syrup. Instead of being like, Ice shaking espresso, no classic, with oat milk, and two pumps of toffee nut syrup and vanilla sweet cream cold foam.

Like that I'm embarrassed to say every time I go to the thing. So I just go, I just make up a name for it. And then when they look confused, then I elaborate. I like that you have Lil Wayne's health, but you never touch drugs. Somehow you've matched what it would be to drink coating syrup all fucking day. Yeah. What do you mean fucking? Find my own way.

These syrups, that's going to turn me into a coffee-flavored coffee guy, this fucking syrup shit. Yeah. Everyone's just pumping themselves full of syrup. Yeah, and a lot of times, for a long time, I wasn't doing any kind of syrup whatsoever. I was just doing the cold brew with a little splash of oat milk from whoever had it. Some places, cold brew, obviously, better than others. Okay. But recently, I've been on a syrup kick.

I don't know. Okay. I'm not feeling it at all. I do, now I do feel like one of those old boomer conservatives, where it's just like, I want espresso, I want froth's milk. None of this liberal bullshit. Yeah, absolutely. Jake, it's good that you're qualifying it as a kick

because once you get diabetes, you won't be able to kick anymore. Well, I am doing a lot to actively combat this, said diabetes. So I think I'm going to be all right. What's the combat? Well, I've been going to cycle classes three times a week. I've been going for over a month now. Nice. This is the first time that I've, like, consistently exercised in a really long time.

I'm not going to lie when you told me that you started doing that, I was like, oh, thank God. Like, just as someone who cares about you staying alive, like, as a friend. Look, hey, look, my mom listens to the show, all right? Things weren't that dire beforehand, okay? But I had gone to, I had my 41st, like, doctor's physical. Yeah. And it was fine. It wasn't, like, I was going in.

And, you know, of course, as an anxious person, I go into the doctor being like, they're going to be like, well, you've got three months. Like, you know, that they're going to find something awful or they're going to be like, oh, you've grown a tail. Proctologist is like, sir, it appears your ass is filled with hazelnut syrup. It's like, sir, you've actually have inverted butt cheeks. We've never seen this before. And you'll never be able to wear a proper pair of pants again. Wait, so like concave butt cheeks. Like at the ridge of the two concave, there's like an asshole still?

So little of an ass that like no pants will fit, no belt will help. But anyways, I went in and it was a pretty good doctor's appointment. But he was like, yeah, there's, yeah, there's a couple things that you can work on. And you're at that point in your life where if you don't start working on it, now it gets much, much, much harder to change some of these habits. So I went hard. There was somebody on Twitter. I remember around my birthday, somebody was. It was like, well, time to hit the gym hard.

And I took that advice to heart. So I've been going. I've been doing these cycle classes. No. Just one of our beloved listeners. Some saint. Some sort of saint. Yeah, I have a handful of DM conversations with folks from like the very early days of QAA.

Yeah, they know you're the vulnerable point. Like the very, no, it's basically just like kind of like friendships that have formed over time. Because like at the very, very beginning, people who like the show was like, wait a minute, you like this show and like you listen to it. and like, you're subscribing to us on Patreon? Like, that's crazy. Jake is, like, the part of the boss's body if the boss is QA that's, like, flashing. Yeah, all you have to do is, like, a well-placed, like, grappling hook shot will, like, tear that piece of armor away, exposing the yellow flashing, like, fleshy, fleshy, a weak point. So, Liv is living it up on yacht parties.

Didn't you go to a rave as well? I went to a concert last night. Lane 8, it was an EDM. It was very good. Okay. I don't know anything about that. And I don't know. The term EDM already makes me as like an old, like, techno and house head.

Was it a lot of like, wow. No, no, no, no, no. No, the wubs are gone. That's more like, 2012. It's more like, A bit more like that. A bit more like, chill, you know. That's what we're doing?

Okay. All right. Dave, kids. What? I might have heard Lane 8, you said. I think so, yeah. They might play them in cycle class. In cycle class, they play all of this crazy music that I've never heard of before.

Does it get you jazzed up? Yeah, I mean, sometimes for me, I still kind of like the wub-wubs. When the wub-wubs come in, I go, ooh, all right, time to pedal a little bit harder. I will say one thing, though, they played, fuck, well, they played Beverly Hills by Weezer at one point. And at the end of it, and I was like, whoa. Jake had a heart attack. You know, my least, you know, one of my lees favorite, one of my lesser, you know, I like some of the deeper cuts. But whatever, I was like, a Weezer song, like, from this young instructor in the cycle bar class.

Like, this is nuts. And at the end of the song, she goes, just in case you wanted to know what your dad's workout. Yes. Completely destroy it. You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast for access to the full episode as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries. Go to patreon.com slash QAA. Travis, why is that such a good deal? Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.

For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries. That includes 10 episodes of Man Plan with Julian and Annie, 10 episodes of Pervers with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of the Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with me. Travis View. It's a bounty of content and the best deal in podcasting. Travis, for once, I agree with you. And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com slash QAA. Well, that's not an opinion. It's a fact. You're so right, Jake. We love and appreciate all of our listeners. Yes, we do. And Travis is actually crying right now, I think, out of gratitude, maybe. That's not true. The part about be crying. Not me being

grateful. I'm very grateful. Oh