QAA Podcast - Premium Episode 104: National Treasure Is Pilled (Sample)

Episode Date: December 19, 2020

Disastrous choice: letting Jake pick a movie. A cursed cinematic endeavor (by some accounts). At least Nicholas Cage is in it — and we can watch his eyes morph into redpills. ↓↓↓↓ SUBSCRIBE FOR $5 A MONTH SO YOU DON'T MISS THE SECOND WEEKLY EPISODE ↓↓↓↓ www.patreon.com/QAnonAnonymous Merch / Join the Discord Community / Find the Lost Episodes / Etc: http://qanonanonymous.com

What's up QAA listeners? The fun games have begun. I found a way to connect to the internet. I'm sorry, boy. Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 105 of the Q&Nan Anonymous podcast, the National Treasure Movie Night episode. As always, we are your host, Jake Rockatansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View. National Treasure is a 2004 Disney movie.

film directed by John Turtle Tob who actually got... Turtle Tob? Who actually got his start in the early 90s with films like Three Ninjas and Cool Runnings, both classics. Oh, those are good. Yeah. Well, actually, Three Ninjas is okay, but Cool Runnings is actually cool. Cool Runnings is dope.

Three Ninjas was fun as hell. I love that as a little kid. Maybe if they had replaced Nicholas Cage with John Candy in the National Treasure Movies. When I was doing my Home Alone episode the other week and I was re-watching Home Alone, I cried when John Candy came on screen. Yeah. Because he's missed.

Is he gone? He's gone, right? Oh, he died way too young. Tragic. So the film was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, and it stars Nicholas Cage, Diane Kruger, John Voight, Harvey Keitel, and Justin Bartha. Yeah, Kyle, it's like, honestly, it's, like, honestly, poor guy. They got him in this?

I mean. Well, poor guy, he made so much money, I bet for. Oh, yeah. I mean, and he's essentially just doing kind of like a watered-down version of what he does in Bad Lieutenant. In Bad Lieutenant. Yeah, exactly. There is that scene where Nicholas Cage is in a car and he gets stopped by Harvey Kitell,

and Harvey kind of pleasures himself. I've omitted that scene, obviously. Of course, yeah, yeah, we can't include it. It's a Disney episode as well as a Disney movie. So National Treasure is actually the first in a two movie series and has an audience score of 76% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics, however, were lukewarm on the movie when it premiered, with one critic from the BBC writing, quote, this movie couldn't be more stale if it had been dug up by archaeologists. Fair enough.

But it was clearly popular enough to have a sequel produced. And full disclosure, I love both films. Because Americans love soggy Cheerios. Sagi day-old Cheerios. The original film had a budget of $100 million and ended up doing $347 million at the box office, which was pretty damn good for the early aughts. It was filmed on location except for one scene that takes place in Independence Hall, which ended up being shot in a replica inside of Knott's Berry Farm.

Oh, God. A little more research revealed that the movie was actually based on an original idea that stemmed from a guy named Charles Seeger's, who was, get this, a 20-year law enforcement veteran and former national security consultant. Oh, wow. Which makes sense as to why the movie is so pilled to the goddamn gills. He also served as a White House associate and team leader throughout Barack Obama's entire second term. Man, it's like not only do are we ruled by the blog. but we have to eat its excreta.

Like, we have to follow the blob. We're also entertained and enthralled by the blob. We need the blob. We are the blob. National Treasure. First off, before we get into my in-depth analysis, what did you guys think of the film? It was worse than Donald Trump the Chosen.

I thought it was a fun romp, and that's totally inaccurate. There we go. It's because people like Travis think it's fun that it sucks so bad. It's because of him that we have this on the shelf. If people didn't choose this, Maybe the market would do its work and eliminate bad cinematography, bad music, bad acting. Now, full disclosure, we did all watch this movie together when we were in Tampa for the QAnon rally. It happened to be on television at the time.

Yeah, and you're lucky I'm not loaded this time. Because I would destroy you both and ruin this episode. You know, right. At least we attempted to watch it. What made the film experience kind of distracting was the fact that extremely drunk Julian was screaming the entire. time about how much he hated the fashion in the, in the movie, the cinematography. Oh, the dressing, like the clothes in this film, I feel like they just let Nicholas Cage do the whole, just, hey, have at it, man. Dress everyone in mom jeans and fucking a blazer.

Well, he probably was like, he probably was like, I'm very uncomfortable by the wardrobe that the, that the directors have picked out. Do you mind if I just grab a couple things out of the closet? Yeah, absolutely. There really is like a kind of lack of imagination. on almost every level of this movie. It's like cookie cutter $100 million use. It's like they chose the most expensive pre-fad house in the world. You know, it's like, it's not quality. There's nothing there, but it's so, there's so much money to like get, get a scene that

is that ugly shot in the first place. There is some fun lore here that's sort of half baked into sort of America, you know, American lore, you know, revolutionary war lore. Sure. We're going to definitely discuss their takes on the Templars and, yeah, and, of course, the Masons. It's got everybody. Very strange. Long story short, as you'll see, the movie is incredibly pilled, and I think very closely serves as an allegory for your sort of standard Anon journey.

Although because it's a Hollywood movie, it tends to work out a little bit better for everybody. But without further ado, let's get right into it. Right away, we get into this immediate pilling of a young Nicholas Cage as a boy who's been caught by his grandfather poking around the attic for treasures. I got to say, I am a little jealous of this family. As for when I went poking around my own grandparents' house, all I found were porcelain figures of rabbis and the fiddler from the musical fiddler on the roof. But, Jake, at least your dad wasn't fucking John Voight.

So here we get some backstory on the treasure tale, and it of course involves the Declaration of Independence. and, you guessed it, the Masons. Charles Carroll was the last surviving signer of the Declaration of Independence. He was also a member of a secret society known as the Masons. And he knew he was dying. He woke up his stable boy in the middle of the night and ordered him to take him to the White House to see Andrew Jackson.

because it was urgent that he speak to the president. Did he talk to him? No, he never got the chance. The president wasn't there that night. But Charles Carroll had a secret. So he took into his confidence the one person he could. My grandfather's grandfather, Thomas Gates. What was the secret?

a treasure a treasure beyond all imagining you have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of QAnon Anonymous we don't run any advertising on the show and we'd like to keep it that way for five bucks a month you'll get access to this episode a new one each week and our entire library

of premium episodes so head on over to patreon.com QAnon Anonymous and subscribe. Thank you. Thanks. I love you. Jake loves you.