QAA Podcast - Premium Episode 108: Insurrection Hangover (Sample)

Episode Date: January 24, 2021

We closely follow the paths of two participants in the Capitol riots. Jenna Ryan: a realtor from Texas and Brandon Fellows, a 26-year-old chimney repair man from Virginia. Both posted their way through the event and its aftermath. We finish the episode with a Jake story featuring Mike Lindell. ↓↓↓↓ SUBSCRIBE FOR $5 A MONTH SO YOU DON'T MISS THE SECOND WEEKLY EPISODE ↓↓↓↓ www.patreon.com/QAnonAnonymous Merch / Join the Discord Community / Find the Lost Episodes / Etc: http://qanonanonymous.com Episode music by Event Cloak (http://eventcloak.bandcamp.com), Nick Sena (http://nicksenamusic.com) & Doom Chakra Tapes (http://doomchakratapes.bandcamp.com)

What's up QAA listeners? The fun games have begun. I found a way to connect to the internet. I'm sorry, boy. Welcome, listener, to the 108th premium chapter of the Q&ONANANANANANANIS podcast, the Insurrection Hangover episode. As always, we are your host, Jake Rockatansky, Julian Fields, and Travis Vue. For nearly a year now, the COVID-19 virus has hung,

over the United States like a sword of Damocles. The populace has grown weary and anxious. But in this vast sea of discontent, there are flashes of hope, those who still remember yesterday's America and all its hella-sick festivals. These patriotic Americans yearn for the simpler days of red solo cups filled to the brim with piss, baggies of Armandhammer sprinkled with cocaine, and the cantaloupe-flavored simulacra of a cigarette. And so, recently, the patriotic party people gathered to partake in a new kind of musical festival at the United States Capitol, with less porto-potties and way more tear gas.

They fought. They drank. They blacked out. They shot vids. They stole Nancy Pelosi's only remaining soda directly out of her office. By the next day, the Capitol was calm once more. The partiers were gone, replaced by hundreds of National Guardsmen, sleeping in the halls of Congress. And thus, the great hangover began. The people who stormed the Capitol building were an assortment of maga diehards, militia members, neo-Nazis, and QAnon followers. But there are also people who are basically, along for the ride, who either due to arrogance or cluelessness, simply got swept away by the insurrection. Today we're going to take a look at two such cases, Jenna Ryan, a realtor from Texas, and Brandon Fellows, a 26-year-old chimney repair man from Virginia. Together, they illustrate what it looks like to post your way through the revolution. Jenna Ryan.

First up is Jenna Ryan. Now, Jenna is one of the most high-profile people who participated in the capital riot, even though she never appeared to really pose a threat to anyone. In a later interview with a local CBS affiliate, the Texas realtor said that she flew to D.C. at the behest of the president. Our president, President Donald Trump, asked us to go to the march on the 6th. And he said, be there. And so I went, and I answered the call of my president.

It was like, hey, you know, we're here. We're here. We're storming our capital. When I say storming our capital, I just mean we're here. We're descending on D.C. Am I dreaming, or does her fireplace have, like, diamonds on the logs? What the, what the f-sciety-decretive, yeah, something. It looks like a, like a Christmas tree, tinsel.

Insane. So she has a fake fireplace that just the wood is wearing diamonds, sighted. Maybe she's using it for kittling. What kind of joke country is this? Yeah, she flues a D.C. in style, apparently riding a private plane with a group of friends. Oh, and by the way, return of the leopard print. We got a blue leopard print here. Tribute no doubt to the great Sidney Powell. As Ryan walked through the streets of D.C., she ranted to the camera.

She regurgitated the big lie that Trump's electoral loss was a result of a massive conspiracy to defraud the nation. Stop the steel. I mean, they are taking our country from us. And this is a prelude to the war that is about to happen. We are not messing around. There's a lot of us that are going to be, there's more of us than there are of them. We're going to go right on to that. We're going to let them know that they better freaking listen to the evidence today.

Because they bought out all the courts. they bought out all the Congress, all the rhinos they paid everybody off because they didn't want to wear their pussy hats this year. And so they bought people off and cheated. We are pissed off about this.

It's not okay. So just an unhinged woman. Just a larp. In the street, talking to herself, apparently. Yeah. Incredible. And absolutely furious. Also, there is no evidence that was being evaluated that day. Again, the entire sort of what Pence was doing was procedural. There was only one possible conclusion. The whole thing is ludicrous. In D.C., Jenna Ryan is wearing a Trump beanie in an American flag scarf. But that isn't enough merchandise for her. So she also picked up a camouflage print Trump hat from a street vendor. That was just tactical gear for the raid. Oh, okay. So she was gearing up. Oh, look at this Trump hat. I want this one.

That's a cool hat. Isn't it a cool hat? You want that hat? Oh, he's digging for you. Do you have another one of those? You have two of those? If you grab me one, I'll pay you back. Look.

The black one's cool, too. I want that one. I don't know. This cracks me up. She thinks she's going to war because, like, their nations being defrauded. And I'm going to pick up some merch for the occasion. Yeah, it's like they're going to a fucking paintball game, you know? It's like, oh, well, I like that hat for playing paintball.

Like, nothing's real to these people. It's so bizarre how she just floats along the world without like really able to like comprehend consequences. Because it's an intention. Everything is so hyperbolic that, you know, you can't just be upset that your candidate lost. It's that, no, they were cheated and we're going to fucking. war and I'm going to get a hat. And I'm going to bring a lightsaber. And this is the premiere of some sort of movie.

Yeah, it is. It's this like... I'm a star of my own show and I'm streaming it right now. Yeah. I'm actually going to the Spider-Man thing, but I'm also the Spider-Man that makes money taking photos on the street, and I'm also a fan of Spider-Man. She shows off her new swag to her friends. Do you get you some merch, Jenna?

I did. It's so cute. I got it. It's like Katie's had. Katie! See how cute. I don't want to lose it. I'm like covered in merch. Look. I'm covered. I got this. I'll never forget this.

This is like a memory happening right now. We are saving America. And you know what? If it comes down to war, guess what? I'm going to be there. I don't know what I'm going to be doing. But I'm going to be doing something, I guarantee it. Yes, she is.

She's going to be doing Trump! Yeah! Yep, I'll be fighting on the front lines, wherever it is. Yep. Because I'm that kind of girl. I like to get shit done. I could be working right now, but no. I could be selling houses right now.

All you people who are going to sell your house, you need to hire one of us. We're all real estate agents. Hire us because we're fighting for our country. There's not a better parody right there. We'll fight to get you a better offer on your home. I have a bag of hat and now I have another hat. I'm going to put it on the first hat and I'm going in. She actually does this a lot.

She seamlessly sort of transitions between, I'm fighting for my country. We're going to war and I will sell you a house. And people say white culture doesn't exist. But yeah, because I think in her mind going to war is very much the same thing as selling a house. War is just like a sale and let me tell you how in my 320 page book. I mean, it's just a casual idea, you know? It's just this, this fucking, this, this, oh. It's totally abstraction.

She thinks she's going to, like, fly to the sea, go to war. Then the country will basically be the same and she'll go right back to selling houses. Well, yeah, that's how Trump got rich. So once Trump's back in there, it's like, yeah, he's going to fucking hook her up. He loves real estate people, right? When Jenna sits down to rest, she immediately gets to complaining about the lack of bathrooms and cell phone service. Here we are. You can barely get service. There are millions of people here. You think there's millions? I don't know. Nothing about people. I'm talking. It's a mess up there.

Yeah, we've been up there. It was completely packed. And there is no bathroom what to speak of. There's absolutely no bathrooms. I'm covered in Trump stuff. What is she wearing? Oh my God, she's wearing a beanie on top of a ball cap. What is happening? She just, and we know she has another hat. The day goes on.

She just, it's like Diablo. It's like Diablo. She's just adding more pieces of, she's collecting more items and just, she attributes this lack of resources to discrimination against freedom lovers. They didn't give us any bathrooms, whatsoever. or food trucks, you know, it's like the beginning of discrimination against people who love freedom. And there's a lot of people who love freedom out here today. You have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of Q&N Anonymous.

We don't run any advertising on the show, and we'd like to keep it that way. For five bucks a month, you'll get access to this episode, a new one each week, and our entire library of premium episodes. So head on over to patreon.com slash QAnonanonymous and subscribe. Thank you. Thanks. I love you. Jake loves you.