QAA Podcast - Premium Episode 206: Listener Stories Volume 8 (Sample)

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

True stories sent in by our listeners. Would you eat a cookie given to you by Michael Flynn? Would you get pilled by a taxi driver's scrapbook? Have your family members slipped down the rabbit hole? Can Spanish sperm bless a plasma company's quarterly earnings? Find out. Subscribe for $5 a month to get an extra episode of QAA every week + access to ongoing series like 'Manclan' and 'Trickle Down': http://www.patreon.com/QAnonAnonymous Music by Max Weber. Editing by Corey Klotz. New Merch / Join the Discord Community / Find the Lost Episodes / Etc: http://qanonanonymous.com

What's up QAA listeners? The fun games have begun. I found a way to connect to the internet. I'm sorry, boy. Welcome listener to Premium Chapter 206 of the Q&ONONANANANANANAS podcast, The Listener Stories, Volume 8 episode. As always, we are your host, Jake Rockatansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View. Welcome, my friends, to what feels.

Feels like the 800th, but is only the eighth listener stories. We realized in the preparation for this that we had not done one of these for almost a year. Almost exactly a year, the last listener stories, volume seven. I would have guessed three or four months. Came out on March 27th or something. So we once again of last year asked people, and some people just sent stuff in between the asking period, which is fine. We keep those and try to look over them when we can. So we have another collection of stories sent in by listeners, true stories.

I mean, obviously, caveat, they could be liars. I'm sure a portion of our audience are pathological liars. Some of them probably have committed federal crimes. But sometimes the stories are just so good. You know, you give them a little bit of leeway. And usually, honestly, it's like, why would you lie about this stuff? When you hear the story, it's never like, oh, great, what a cool life. Yeah, it's never like, I look so.

It's always hard. so cool in this moment and the guys are going to read it and I'm going to feel so cool. No, they're all like really depressing. And weird. Some are funny. I tried to pick this time around just because I myself am just feeling the political and the conspiracy theory fatigue of working in this space, you know, 24-7, seven days a week. You've been working here for 24 years?

No case is too small. No fee is too large. Okay. I'm stepping into your office. wearing a garter belt and I'm asking for your services. Please, Detective Jake, what stories have you uncovered from our email archive? Well, it's a nice breath of stories. Some are new.

There was one story that I'm going to read, which is really funny, that was sent like a couple days after we recorded the last listener stories that didn't make the cutoff, but you made it. I want everybody to know that I read each and every one of your stories and it gave me a lot to think about. I laughed while I was reading them. I cried while I was reading other ones. I worried about whether I was going to cry on air reading some of them, but I really appreciate everybody taking the time to sit down and write them out and send them in. I would love to do a four-hour show where we read every single one, but it's just not the way it's going to happen.

So if your story didn't get picked, do not fret. It might get picked for our listener's Stories, Volume 9, which will be releasing in March of 2024. Yeah, see you in one year. Or not. Or not. The asteroid could hit by then. Yeah. The mother ship could have landed.

Multiple asteroids have hit our email inbox. That's the only way I could explain my inability to respond to anybody. Yes, and I am the mothership that is hovering up all of them and taking them to Zanadu. Oh, you're hovering up. You're hoovering up. All right. So I'm going to get into my first story. So I've picked out, some of your titles were already good and I didn't change them.

Some of you didn't have a title, really. So I have taken the liberty of making them up for you. I hope that's okay. Reading the first story just says, I'm a big loser who wrote this. That's insane title that you picked for that person. The title of the first story is Taxi Cab Scrapbook. Hello, QAA hosts. I am a longtime listener, first time emailer, to what my fiancé

witheringly refers to as your Q&on podcast. which brings me much joy that I am the bane of somebody's partner's existence this is wonderful this is what we strive to be it's a marvel she said yes when I propose

but you're very lucky she did so congratulations my friend yeah if she makes you pick pick her yeah yeah if she does yeah leave us behind you back you can look DM me on Twitter

I'll send you the MP3s of the episodes nobody needs to know okay what the hell you're trying to smuggle him our episodes now I don't give a Well, that's another marriage destroyed by Jake.

I am from Scotland, but in 2011, I was in my early 20s and studying for a postgraduate degree in upstate New York. At the end of the semester, I went for a road trip with two classmates from my course, an Irish lad my age, and an older Scandinavian guy who was about 30. When we were heading back to the university after our holiday, our flight upstate was canceled. The airline offered to put us on a flight to a nearby, by U.S. Standard City, and pay for the hour-long taxi ride back home. A bit of a pain, but a solution. When we arrived, we were directed to our taxi.

And when we got in, the driver had a talk radio station playing. Before we had left the airport grounds, it was apparent that the radio show was fucking unhinged. It was probably Alex Jones or something like it, and it reminded me of Area 53 in GTA, San Andreas. This is the conspiracy radio channel in the video game. I clearly remember one bit where the host stated that airport security was not necessary for safety, but was a plot to allow the government

acting through the security employees to physically molest its citizens. As I say, unhinged. My Irish friend and I remained sheepishly quiet in the back seat. Our Scandinavian pal, however, sitting up front, told the driver to, quote, turn that shit off like a grown-up. The driver obliged. I almost wish he'd left it on. We drove along for a short while in silence, and then the driver started trying to engage us in conversation. Inocuous at first. First. Then, had we seen the loose change documentary? I hadn't, but one of the others admitted that they had. That got him babbling excitedly for a couple minutes. And then he reached over to open the glove compartment, pulling out a large book of annotated photographs of the 9-11 attacks.

He handed it back to me and my Irish friend. Oh my God, he's got reading for the guests. We reluctantly took it and flicked through the photographs in silence, occasionally catching each other's gaze, eyes wide. The book was full of scribbled post-it notes. It's a quite hazy memory, but one of the post-it sticks in my mind. On a full-page picture of the first tower's collapse, he had a note reading, all caps, quote, must investigate gravity. Going to look into that. To this day, if my Irish pal and I haven't spoken for a while, I will text him, must investigate gravity out of the blue. The chat got steadily more deranged the closer we got to home. The driver covered lots of topics I didn't recognize at the time,

but have since grown familiar with through your podcast and the work of people like John Ronson. The world is controlled by a cabal. Every recent U.S. president was a pedophile. The elites meet in the woods to drink the blood of children. All the hits. We got a depressing glimpse of reality when he talked briefly about personal matters. He had lost his home in the financial crisis, was working as a taxi driver and in a full-time service industry job, and still couldn't make ends meet for himself and his family. Part of me understood him when he told us that, though not fully. It is only through

listening to you that I have made the connection between his circumstances and his conspiratorial beliefs. Looking back, it is so obvious and so sad that this poor guy would be red-pilled. Nowadays, I wouldn't be surprised at all, but back then I was deeply unsettled by the whole thing. My Irish pal and I got

him to drop us off in the center of town so that he didn't know where we lived. Our Scandinavian companion, who was absolutely stacked, had no such worries. He got the driver to take him to his door and sat curbside for half an hour arguing with the guy and telling him he was destroying his life with, quote, that conspiracy shit. Fair play to the big man. I hope that the meter was on and that the airline paid the driver for that time. Yes, that's, that's correct. A more optimistic part of me hopes that maybe it did some good

for the guy, but I doubt it. Yeah, I think it takes more than one big indignant Scandinavian to fix a human, but you know what? You might as well try. You might as well try. We don't know. We haven't There's no proper studies who've done, you know, double blinds and tested for placebo of whether sending a large Scandinavian man to your house to tell you about how conspiracy theories are just a crock of shit, whether that works or not. So maybe we should. I thought the author put it. We need to get a lot of large Scandinavian men. I thought this is what we should do first. Then we can figure out how you and I, Jake, will run this experiment out of my basement. I think you're just interested in the big Scandinavian men. I, well, they're, they seem to have played an important role

in this story and I'm just a scientist investigating possibilities. No, no, no. I thought that the author put it perfectly when he said, fair play to the big man. Hey, fair play, you want to try to argue with somebody about their conspiracy beliefs? You want to give them a peptock? I want to blow 12 gymnasts in my underground

layer. Travis, any takes on this? No, no. No. You have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of QAnon Anonymous. We don't run any advertising on the show, and we'd like to keep it that way. For five bucks a month, you'll get access to this episode, a new one each week, and our entire library of premium episodes.

So head on over to patreon.com slash QAnonanonymous and subscribe. Thank you. Thanks. I love you. Jake loves you. Thank you.