Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Ballpark Crimes | Episode 287

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

Daniel went to Citi Field, home of surprisingly reaosnable food, so the guys debate whether they could handle the “7 hot dogs, 7 beers in 7 innings” challenge and explore some of the most atrocious signature dishes in stadiums across the country.

Hey, this is Daniel LeBriain of Quick Question. Just a reminder before we start the episode proper that if you are not subscribing to our Patreon, that's patreon.com slash quick question, you're missing out on a couple of things. We do two exclusive bonus episodes every month and we are also slowly rolling out a podcast mini-series I did called Dead Presidents with Daniel LeBriain. You can listen to episode 2 with Rachel Bloom we're talking about the $2 bill and Thomas Jefferson and strippers and Hamilton and Rachel Bloom's career and life and her relationship with money. Okay, check it out I've got a quick quick question for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind

I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? How did you get? What will I be? What's your number? What's the number? Where did all that go? We're back. It's Quick Question, the podcast for two best friends and collaborators to ask each other questions and give each other answers. Soren, today we are talking about baseball, baseball food, stadium food. Thanks to Shopify for supporting Quick Question. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs like myself the resources once reserved for big business.

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash QQ. Let's go, jump right into it. Oh, a topic close to my heart. This is fast food adjacent. By the way, we didn't discuss this beforehand. Dan is throwing this at me, but it is like, obviously a topic you don't need to give me beforehand because I've got a lot of thoughts all around the board.

And I know you went to a couple of Rocky's Dodgers games recently. Yeah. And I went to a game recently and we want to share our experiences with each other so we can talk about. Yeah, what did you eat? What was the culinary delights? Yeah, I guess that's the main question Did you go to a Mets game or a Yankees game? I went to a Mets game

We went to Mets cubbies, uh, because my wife is from Illinois And so if we're gonna if we're gonna ride for a team, I guess it's gonna be the Cubs It's I i'm a man without a country for baseball teams. And I'll, I was raised in a Yankee household and I didn't care about baseball. So I wasn't very knowledgeable or participatory in the whole thing. Something fell.

And then I moved to LA, still not much of a baseball fan, but I started going to a lot of Dodgers games because I had a bunch of friends who were baseball fans and I liked that experience I loved going to stadium and it just seemed easy to like decide to be a late-in-life Dodger fan like yeah see how Puig was fun to watch he's such a big personality and I was there for I don't even know if these guys are still on the team Turner and Bellinger these were like turners not fun guys to root for it was it was one of I think my last year there maybe they just fell short of the playoffs and I

was like very close my buddy Nick and I to like are we gonna get World Series tickets if that like are we gonna spend a stupid amount of money to get the worst seats possible? That's how like into it. I was yeah, I moved back to the East Coast and didn't Didn't pay attention at all to baseball didn't keep up with the Dodgers didn't pick a new team I am still in the same camp where I will go to a stadium and have a good time. I feel like I'm kind of done learning the names of adult men. I learned all those names when I was watching the Dodgers and like their nicknames so I could be like, come on, belly. And like, I knew their strengths and weaknesses. And at this point, it's just like, I don't, I, I want to go to a baseball game and can't I just go and like the way that

I'll take my wife to a Marvel movie and she doesn't know who anyone is or what's going on but it's just like it's loud and it's and it's and it's air-conditioned here it isn't that can't that be enough like do I also need to know who the Avengers are like no of course you don't that's how I am with baseballs like I don't I don't want to get any of the little guys names I don't know who the Avengers are. And like, no, of course you don't. That's how I am with baseballs. Like, I don't wanna get any of the little guys' names. I don't know who we're mad at. Like, let me just like be here and soak in the experience and enjoy my time, which I did. That's, I mean, that's a great game to go to.

I was just looking it up. Cause I couldn't remember, I know the Mets are leading their division, but I didn't realize that the Cubs are like outpacing everybody as well. And National League Central, they're like, I still don't even Central, they're like, they're five games ahead of everybody else. Wow. Yeah. And that brings me to one of my other things about baseball is that there are so many games happening all the time that I truly don't know how commanding a five game lead is in this league.

I'm with you. Baseball, so I enjoy fantasy sports and I tried it with baseball at one point. I was like, this is untenable. I cannot keep track of how there's just too many games. I can't do this. And I feel that way a little bit with basketball too, where throughout the regular season, I am a, I am a Nuggets fan in the playoffs and throughout the rest of the season when they I see that they won I'm like

oh good for them maybe I'll watch the highlights of that game but I'm not keeping track my fingers not on the pulse by any means because it's just so overwhelming to try to keep track of a team that plays three times a week. I am a Warriors fan because I used to live in LA and they were fun to watch and I couldn't be Lakers fan because I was originally a Celtics fan and then my wife is a huge Warriors fan so we watch all the war every single Warriors game we watch for the entire season from the first to the last game we watch and I had never done that before with any team until I met my wife.

And now we're we're, you know, we will not make plans. We will stay in and watch Warriors. And then Warriors got knocked out in the playoffs by a very exciting Timberwolves team with Anthony Edwards, who is so fun to watch. He's out too, by the way, by the time we're recording this, the first game of the championship starts today. But we watched so many fun playoff games and playoff series.

And once the Warriors were knocked out, I've been trying to get Shay interested in basketball that is not just the Warriors. Because some nights it'll be like- It's nice to watch basketball. The Warriors and Atlanta against each other. And I'm like, wouldn't it be cool if instead we watched a good game with better teams?

Couldn't that be exciting? What a unique experience it must be for your wife to watch basketball. Because I hope that I'm not revealing too much here, but her fandom of Golden State is both like a fandom of the basketball team, but also like she thinks Steph Curry is beautiful. She really likes Steph Curry a whole lot,

and that's definitely part of it. But she also watches more Press conferences with every player on the team after every game She watched more press conferences than anyone I know and it's not just Steph Curry talking there She okay is just like consuming all of it, but that's not even like I've never had that experience I don't think where I'm like where I can watch I'm into think, where I'm like, where I can watch, I'm into a sport and I'm into it for a couple reasons. I'm into it both because I think the sport is fun to watch,

but also like I just find myself really compelled to watch one individual person because I'm sort of like, like wow, they're very beautiful. I guess maybe Sophie Cunningham, she's like on fever, and like I'm into the fever only because now I can't help it. Like I can't help, the Angel Reese and the Caitlin Clark stuff is all over everything that I read and so I'm like,

well, this is just a thing I consume now. And I see Sophie Cunningham every once in a while. I'm like, you're my serial type. I know what, I see you. I've never, unlike my wife, I've never, I've never found someone so compelling and attractive that I've learned a second thing. Like she has learned basketball through this

and has strong opinions on it. I, the closest thing, like Sarah Michelle Geller, when I was younger, pre-Buffy, she was on a soap opera called All My Children. She played Kendall Hart. And I was watching All My Children because my mom was watching it. And then I was watching it

because I was very attracted to Sarah Michelle Gellar. I was at that age and she was like mean and cool on this show. And so I was watching All My Children for her and like couldn't tell you really what was happening on that show. I was like in the way that Shay has become like a student of basketball, I was just watching all my children and someone's like, so what's, who's, what do you like about the show? Like I, I do not know.

I'm so sorry. I'm 12 and My body is compelling me To watch this television show. I mean, I think I had a very similar experience with young in the restless as a kid I would only watch it when I was home six. My is my mom's show We'd eat top ramen with like some spinach on top of it when I was sick and that was to watch it my plan was to watch Young and the Restless. And there's, I, to this day, like,

I couldn't tell you a single plot thing that happened on that show, except there was this one person named Cricket on the show where, who as a child, I was like, yes, more of her please. This is the one I like watching. I find her pleasing. And to this day, she's still lodged in there.

There's cricket right in my brain. I can still see her. When you start a podcast, it gets pretty complicated. Sexy as it is, talking about the broomstick burrito at the Texas Rangers game. There's all kinds of other stuff you need to do in the background of a podcast, which, ugh, just the worst. What's happening up front, with the actual interactions that you're having

with the thing that you want, like hot and candy fries with like a gravy frosting on top. So rarely is what the business actually is all about. Thankfully, they're Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark,

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And another exciting thing about it is that there's a service that takes you from the Jersey shore where I live to basically city field, like a 15 minute walk. And it's like the ferry is for this. It's not like you're taking a ferry into the city and then eventually traveling to see a Broadway show. They're like, we know what time the game is. Get here at this time and we will pick you up

and you will be on time for the game. And we will be waiting when the game ends and we will take you home. And it's beautiful. Awesome. You're on a boat. There are a whole bunch of other Mets and Cubs fans on the boat. You waiting when the game ends and we will take you home. And it's beautiful. Awesome. You're on a boat. There are a whole bunch of other Mets and Cubs fans on the boat.

You go to the game. The only downside, and I think it's only a downside for people like me, is unless you wanna pay an arm and a leg for new transportation home, you kinda have to stay for the whole game, which by about the fifth inning, I'm like, all right, I get it.

I can go now. Is there an early boat? Is there do you have to drive to the ferry or can you get there by walking? I can without doxing my location I can walk to the ferry. That's so cool. Yeah. You get to that's a free invitation to just drink all day. No I know It's great.

I think that's probably by design, Zoran, I would imagine. You're like, hey, do you want a 90 minute commute on a boat to the baseball game? Nice little pregame opportunity from 90 minutes and then you go to the baseball game, which guess what you're gonna do when you get there? I'm just, I'm reeling a little bit because we do have stadiums in Los Angeles that are fairly easy

to get to. Dodger Stadium is not one of them. Dodger Stadium sits on a hill like Mount Olympus above the rest of Los Angeles and the only way to get there is two directions by car and it sucks and everybody so I mean the other reason that they do is not just for the drinking but also I think to ease the traffic load When every time that there's a Mets game, which is I assume three times a day and so at Dodger Stadium, it's it's So bad, there's not even like there even if you go you get on a bus. It's like the bus has to still use the road

There's no good way to get to a Dodger game. It's terrible Didn't I take a train to a Dodger game once? No, you can't take a train. You could have taken a train to Chinatown and then walked there, but that's- Maybe that's what I did. You're still going uphill about a mile. Yeah, that sucks. But that sounds beautiful.

And then I really want to hear about what you ate. Okay, before we ate, we get in and it was bobblehead day. So we got free bobbleheads. oh, are you there on time? Yes because the boat knows it's shit so the boat gets us there on time and we get Fuck who's on the Mets Edwin Diaz Okay, that could be a person I think I got Edwin Diaz bobbleheads and Edwin Diaz. Okay. That could be a person.

I think we've got Edwin Diaz bobbleheads and I'm like, great. I don't know where I'm gonna put this thing. I don't really want it. And maybe, I don't know, it seems like 25 minutes into us being there, someone asks to buy Shay's bobblehead. And she's like, I will just give it to you.

And he's like, no, I'm collecting these and I will buy it and He bought it for ten dollars. So we made ten Bobblehead and then later a profit at the game later that game Shay found ten dollars on the ground We came out twenty bucks ahead on that game minus the cost of the game That's amazing. It's great baseball's amazing Everyone should be into baseball you make money. It's great. Baseball is amazing. Everyone should be into baseball. You make money. It's a way to make money. Did you treat it like it was your $20 or were you like,

now we spend this immediately? I think we treated it like it was our $20. Okay. I would have just gotten rid of it. I don't know what part of me this is, but if I find money, I'm like, now I have to spend this. Yeah, absolutely. Because it's this is but if I find money I'm like and now I have to spend this right now. Gotta spend this yeah absolutely. Because it's because it's illegal for me to have this. You're gonna put it in the bank? That's insane. Okay so what did you what did you eat? Did you do sweets first of all? No no sweets at all. There was a huge variety of foods in their food court and we showed up starving because we were doing like yard work during the day and I went for a run

because I knew we were gonna be drinking. So like, let's do some healthy stuff first. And then by the time we drank on our boat ride and get to the stadium, it's like, all right, priority number one, before we even find our seats, I think we need to get some food in our bellies. And I was so impressed with all of the options because I thought I was gonna go there

and like, I'm just gonna end up eating like too many hot dogs or some greasy chicken fingers that are gonna be covered in like dairy and egg and it's gonna make me sick. But that's what you do when you're at a baseball game, they don't have vegan options. Soren, they had vegan options. They had a whole kiosk with vegan sausage

and peppers and onion sandwich. And I was so pumped and I got it and ate it. And then later I got the chicken fingers anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I mean, bets are off. In turn, nobody goes to a game and they're like, well, what's the healthy option here? I think you just fucking eat and eat and eat

and then at the end you're like, and that's what I was supposed to do. Right, especially when I've primed myself where it's like, phew, I guess I'm gonna just fucking eat and eat and eat and then at the end you're like, and that's what I was supposed to do. Right, especially when I've primed myself where it's like, I guess I'm gonna have to eat some unhealthy chicken fingers and french fries. It's like, why no, sir, here's a salad just for you. That seems, I already took my dairy pill, so. Suck cost, I guess you'd call it.

I'm trying to look at their fucked up fucked up meals because every, that's the other thing stadiums do is they're always going to have, they have like one signature thing that's the most fucked up meal you've ever heard of that like is too fucked up for a, a state fair. Looks to me like it might just be a donut. They're pretty reasonable here. Usually there's like, they have like a savory

cotton candy meal or something like that. That's my baseball experience. You take a boat, you win $20, you get a bobblehead, you eat a bunch of food. I believe the Cubs won. It's impossible to know for sure. It wasn't any of my business. Yeah. Okay. I'm not seeing, I'm not seeing that they have, it looks like the Mets are pretty reasonable in terms of what they serve people up. But there's like, you go to like Seattle Mariners games and there's green corn dogs,

like honey battered cream with nacho cheese in them. And it's like, I want to find the most fucked up thing. Here it is, cotton candy fries. If you go to Toronto Blue Jays game, you get cotton candy fries with like a gravy frosting on top. What does that mean? Great question.

It is- Thanks, the show's called Great Question. They put, there's fries, and then they put little like pinches, because you can't even like, there's no good way to serve up cotton candy other than on one of those cones. So it's just like pinches of cotton candy on top. It looks like an accident.

It looks like a pillow opened up over the top of your fries. And then they have like a blue and white, I'm going to call it a savory frosting that they squirt over the entire thing. I don't like that. No, yeah, I thought it was bad. I thought they would somehow translate the cotton candy taste into the shape of fries. I didn't I don't think they're trying just put it on top like that Yeah, yeah, I think that that's you're giving them you're you're giving their their testers too much credit

I think that they just come up with an idea they make it and then people buy it as a dare It's like yeah, it's a it's torture food, right? Let me find one other example here because I know that there are some that are like Here we go. The broomstick burrito at the Texas Rangers game is Two feet long it's a burrito. It's two feet long. It's too big And I'm gonna say pretty high too. Like it looks like an anaconda that just swallowed a Small deer like it's skinny on the sides and in the middle. It's just overflowing with something and

Yeah, yeah looks really gross. Okay um, if you want to go look up these these ballpark foods You should it's always baseball too for whatever reason they're everybody's Somehow can keep their wits about them at a football or a hockey game but for whatever reason baseball people like I gotta try something fucking nuts I gotta try ice cream with gravy anyway I I that's my

favorite part of the experience my son too I can convince my son to go to a lot of these games because I know that he will stay there for the whole game if we spread out the food throughout the game I know like what innings to get him food that he'll like stay interested and We will at Dodger Stadium. It is outstanding. The meal options are incredible You can you can get the normal like Dodger dog Yeah, or fair the food you would order to get, nachos and a helmet, whatever you want. But then they've also got a whole bento bowl option,

or you could get sushi at a Dodger game. You could go get tacos, you can get, and if you're like, no, I really like chain stuff, like, well, there's also a Fresh Brothers stand, you could just go get some Fresh Brothers pizza if you wanted to. It's all wonderful. You could just go get some Fresh Brothers pizza if you wanted to. It's all wonderful.

But Soren, this takes me to my quick question. Oh, great. Let's do it. This came up at work. Coworker Joanna brought this up, and I think it's a larger challenge that she had heard of. Love Joanna. Have you heard of 777 it was a challenge that sometimes is referred to as 999. Yes, they do seven hot dogs, seven beers, beers in seven innings. Yes. And the question

at work was do you think you could do that? And I somewhat timidly when it first came up was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I could do that. I'm playing coy a little bit. And then so many people didn't think they could do it and didn't think a person can do it. So I went from very coyly being like, I think I could probably do seven hot dogs

and seven beers and seven innings. And like, I'll do seven fucking whiskeys, seven subs in seven minutes and I'm playing in the game Suddenly becomes your position I know that feeling Yeah Because you're right. I mean it's a challenge that wait So the nine is like a whole game and you're just yeah 999 is how I guess like regionally some people would do this This challenge is 999 versus 777 I think I'm 777 makes sense to me

because seventh inning is when they stopped serving beer. So if you were the kind of person and the challenge doesn't stipulate this, but if you were the kind of person who thought it needed to be contained within each inning, then I would understand if you wanted to stop at the seventh inning. I don't, I conferred with Joanna, it doesn't need to be a beer and a dog per inning. It just needs to be seven of each by the end of the seventh inning,

which I think is easier than what I initially imagined. Yeah, because you gotta, otherwise you have to take into consideration whether this is a pitching match or not. If this is a situation where Every you're like it's three and out You're that's tough. That's like tough to fill that in with that food because you also have to go order it You don't just it'd be really tough to either have that stuff around you the whole time

Or to like go get each one of these and it's going to cost you Somewhere around 250 by the end. Yeah. For all that. Going to order it was another factor for me where it's like I'm pretty confident but like buy this the fifth beer would it be possible for someone to get the rest of the stuff for me? I'm gonna get lost. I'll promise you that right now. I'm gonna get distracted and I'm not gonna stand in that line It does seem doable. The only thing I'm worried about honestly is the

Seven hot dogs. I've never had seven hot dogs together in my life. I Haven't either but I'm I'm so much more confident about seven hot dogs than I am about seven beers. Oh. Because, and I have had, across a night, certainly I've had seven beers, and certainly I've never had seven hot dogs, but I've had four hot dogs, and I feel like it's similar.

You could have kept going. I've had four, and I felt my second wind kicking in. Yeah. I could do a back four on this. It's sort of like when you train for a marathon, they say you're not supposed to run the full 26 in training. You're supposed to just like tap out at 20 as your max training.

Because by the time you get to 20 it's like what are these next six miles gonna be? What are the next 6.2 miles gonna be? I've had four hot dogs I'm like yeah I could do this for I get it I get it I see exactly where they would go in my stomach on the day I can do it I've got room I'm really worried about it I I've got room. I'm really worried about it. We used to do these milk challenges. I played, let me back up. I played Ultimate Frisbee when I was in England

and there was very little Ultimate Frisbee that actually happened and it was mostly just these torture challenges that we would do with other teams and it was all bonding experience. A lot of it had to do with beer. A lot of it was filling a beer, or filling a beer, filling an upside down frisbee with as many beers as you could get in with surface tension, which it turns out

three pints. Wow! Three pints with surface tension and then you have two McDonald's straws and it was important that it was McDonald's because they have thinner straws than other fast food and two people would try and finish that as fast as they could. We'd also do these milk challenges where you had to drink a gallon of milk in a certain amount of time, which is not possible. You're certainly not for you, but for anybody. Your body rejects that much dairy in a short amount of time. It's like, this is not, I can't process this.

So it's going back up. So there's a lot of like, It was just us forcing ourselves to vomit. Sure. Basically. Being like, well isn't this fun? We did this together and now we are closer. When we were in high school, my good friend Joe and I went to the Pop Disaster Tour, which was Blink 182 Green Day and Saves the Day. It was our part of the region.

I've been into that. There was a bunch of events going on before the concert actually started and one of them was a Yoohoo chugging contest which we were watching like big giant frat guys doing it. We're 16, 17 years old high school kids and Joe won the Yoohoo chugging challenge by sheer tyranny of will and then ruined the rest of his concert by puking and diarrheaing forever in like concert porta potties just like the way he won a t-shirt that didn't fit. But imagine yes that was that's awful and that's awful an awful experience but had he not won had he got second and

still would have been in the same center because there was somebody there who did that. Somebody who was second to him and still having the same experience after that but didn't have that belt. You feel somewhat confident you could do the 777. You're worried about the hot dogs. I'm so much more worried about the beer. A because I think beer is more filling and B I don't know. There's just something about I feel like a bite of a hot dog shows so much more progress than a sip of beer.

Yes. When they're when they're side by side. And like if you don't like if you take a bite of a hot dog and you're like, that was tough to get down. Look how much less hot dog there is. I can get through this. If you take a sip of beer and your body is telling you you're done, there's no more beer that's going to fit, then that glass seems endless. Yes, it does. I agree with you, except I've also crossed that sea before like I I know that what's the in it's gonna take Conservatively two hours to get to the seventh inning. Yeah I've drank seven beers in two hours hundred percent. I could do that in my sleep. I Mean it's not gonna feel good in the Sun and everything and then I'm also gonna have to pee pretty bad and that's gonna be a whole thing.

But seven, and the beers are big in a stadium. I still think I could nail that part. If the problem is, is that a combination of the beers and the hot dogs and the hot dogs really scare me. Cause that is, I've never been to that state. Never been to the state where I've never been to the place where I eat seven at once. And what that might, all those nitrates

are gonna do to my body. I'm sure I've brought this up on the podcast before because I talk about it a lot. But when I was in college, my apartment, I lived above a 7-Eleven and I would get hot dogs from there. And I'm in college, so like my body is completely different and I would get two hot dogs, which is a normal amount of hot dogs to eat for a growing boy as a dinner and a Few times in there. I'd be like two is really not

Not what I want right now. I think a third hot dog will really send me over the edge I think that's what my body is trying to say Is that I want a third hot dog. And then the employee said, there's a price break if you get four. And so then four hot dogs became a serving size of hot dogs for me for the rest of my college time. I mean, the first time you do it and you don't die, you're like, well, this is what it is now.

This is how much I eat. Yeah, good to know what I can do in an emergency. Or just when I need dinner. Right. At that point, the idea that you were ever eating too is like, well, I was just fucking, I was an idiot. Just imagine me eating one hot dog. That's insane.

I must've done like, what am I, a baby? Come on. This is not a problem you have to face yet, Daniel, but I assume you will at some point. When you go to children's birthday parties frequently the meal is pizza. Parents try to do a thing where they base it around a lunch or have it close enough to a lunch that you're also getting somewhat of a meal then they're bringing pizza and if you go to these things hungry which I do because I don't eat

anything in the morning. Sure. You're first of all you're not sure if you're supposed to take any as an adult. Generally parents will be like, hey we got enough for everybody and you know that doesn't mean you because that's not how much you eat and you can grab a piece of pizza but it feels almost comical to sit there and eat one piece of pizza and then look around and everybody else eating one piece of pizza and be like, I'm good. And I'm like, what are you? You're not human. That feels like gaslighting to say,

like there's enough for everybody. You each get a slice. It's like, what meal do you think this is? So yeah, it's me trying to decide how many pieces of pizza I can get away with eating before it becomes a thing people are noticing at a party like this. And I will, it's not even the fact that it's free food,

it's just like, I'm starving. I feel like I would say I'm good and then just- Not even eat it. Just eat later, yeah. But when it's floating around you and you're holding your child, especially my daughter, she just like is playing and stuff. So I've got a plate in my hand with her pizza on it.

And I'm like, I gotta eat some of this. It's right there in front of me. I can't just, it's not a thing I can just let go. It's right there. And so I will eat her crust before she's even done eating because I know she's not gonna eat that and then I'm like, okay now I'm gonna get my piece and what I will do is I'll go over there once she's done. I go over like

Close to the pieces I go Gilly. Do you want you want another piece? You want another piece and I'll put two on because now I'm getting one for her and one for me But both of these are for me sure now I'm two in and feeling pretty good about like okay I got away with that but those pieces are gone within 30 seconds and then I'm like and now how do I get the other five I need and if I'm lucky then like enough parents filter away from the pizza at a certain point because they've eaten their allotted one. Sure.

And I'm like, okay, now I will put, I'll put two more on here. So, and then take a bite of one, so it looks like maybe it's my daughter's, and then eat the other one. And like this game that I play. This is a lot of work. Yeah, but I,

it's this, I do, I'm not gonna say I have a healthy relationship with food. I don't think. It's something I, I'm not gonna say I have a healthy relationship with food. I don't think. It's something I wanna like, I wanna eat cause it's right there or forget it, if they have a veggie platter, I'm gonna house the whole thing. I'm gonna stand by it.

Cause I know nobody else is gonna be eating that and the ranch isn't gonna make it in the sun for very long. So I'm just like, I'm eating all their raw broccoli, I'm eating all of their carrot sticks, I'm eating everything and nobody else is touching it. I'm like, this is perfect, they brought this for me. He he he. He he he.

Eat a whole veggie tray, that. Yeah. I think I could do the 999 challenge before I could eat a whole veggie tray. Eat a whole veggie tray? Yeah. Oh my God. If I ate a whole veggie tray, I'd be like, I would lick my fingers and be like, and now it's time for lunch.

That was not a meal. That was rabbit food I just consumed. And that was the good thing. And now I get to eat the bad stuff. I mean, I feel the same way, but if that only if I eat one piece of cold broccoli, then that's like I've done my homework. Let's put on the Simpsons now, please. It belongs in a different part of my body. I don't know how to explain it other than I can, I eat, I've done this. I mean, I've run into this problem before where I'm like, I will eat a salad for lunch.

And then after eating the salad, be like, that was great. Now it's time for lunch. I did the good thing, that's out of of the way and now I can eat something else Anyway speaking of my daughter speaking of my daughter, okay She had a such a bad spill I would say the second worst injury of her life this week. I don't know what it is about some kids, it's just their head is like a magnet for stuff. Like all their injuries are facial or head related and my daughter is one of those kids. She's a little bit reckless only because she's trying to keep up with her brother so regularly.

That she tries stuff that is a little bit beyond her purview and she ends up eating shit. So, if you remember, connoisseurs will remember that I, during Christmas, my wife and I got like a little, a couple nights away and we couldn't get in touch with the grandparents and we're like, that's weird. And the grandparents were meanwhile dealing with a catastrophic injury with my daughter where she had fallen on the edge of a table with the bridge of her nose and they couldn't get it to

stop bleeding and they weren't sure if they're supposed to go to the hospital or not. She still has a scar from that. That was horrific to see. He was like all swollen in a way that was like that thing is broken for sure. So this time I was gonna ride to the park with her. She rides a bicycle. She was gonna ride. My son was on a scooter and I was on a skateboard. And we're going to the park. Our neighbors come out of their house.

There's a child who runs out of his house as we go past. He's wearing swimming fins, which is not a common occurrence. And funny enough that I start laughing and Gilly turns to see it, but she's riding a bicycle and is fairly new to it. So she doesn't know that when she turns her head her whole steering wheel like turns around too.

And so she turns her head all the way around, the steering wheel turns and she flips over the front of it and I catch the end of it. And I see her just slam her cheek. She's wearing a helmet, but like helmet doesn't even get touched slams her cheek and then slides on it on the ground. And I was like, Oh, you just erased your whole cheek. Like there's no way it's there.

She started screaming going, I pick her up and I'm in that zone that I get in when my child is hurt where I can't speak to anyone else. I can't do anything, like my brain shrinks and I'm just like, I have to fix this right now. And so like I'm carrying her home and the bike is in the street and fortunately Ronan has a better presence of mind than me. He had collected her bicycle, brought it home

and I get her inside and like I get a good look at it and it's so bad. It's like Just really it's not through. I'm not seeing like teeth through it or anything like that but it's like it's it's all road rash and then completely swollen immediately like it's so big and ballooned and she's freaking out and crying and I'm trying to calm her down, but also freaking out a little bit and then I'm trying to calm her down but also freaking out a little bit and Then I'm just taking as I put ice on clean it a little bit as much as she'll let me I put ice on it And then I'm just doing a survey of the rest of her body to see like where else are we what else are we dealing? with here and like her fingers are kind of shredded a little bit in a way that like

Isn't common with accidents. It's like that like isn't common with accidents. So it's like they're like they're skinned in weird ways, like in between the fingers, they're skinned. And she's bleeding from those. She's got some like other kind of scabbing up above on her forehead. And then throughout the rest of the day, I'm just discovering stuff.

At a certain point for bedtime, like I take off her shirt and she's got this laceration across her chest. And I'm like, you didn't even know. You were so worried, like your cheek hurts I'm like you didn't even know you were so worried Like your cheek hurts so much that you didn't even notice this other thing that would have been that have been top priority in any other circus Yeah So she was miserable and I wasn't sure if she had shattered her eye socket like that ocular around your eye And it was it was so swollen and I was like I need to touch it

I need to be able to like feel around it to see if you if you broke it and that's that's I'll buy the recommendation of my brother-in-law who's just a saint that he's an ER doctor. Shout out Marty. Shout out Marty. He's an ER doctor, so calm in every circumstance, so great and has helped me through several of these circumstances including when my dad fell off his Segway a long time ago and had a really bad concussion. Couldn't remember who the president was and stuff like that.

And Marty was so cool and calm about it. So we called him and he's like, let me see her. He's on his way to Seattle. He's in the airport where he's like, let me see her eyes. And he's like, track the phone around eyes and he's like track the phone around her Let's make sure that the eyes are still working properly. He's like you're gonna have to feel around the ocular sec

This eye cavity to see if the bone is still intact. No you do it Marty. Yeah Thank you Marty's you do it through the phone somehow. She won't let me do it I'm like, I I feel like this is broken. It's it's it's swelling so much it's all black and blue inside her eye and everything and so we're just sort of like tolerating this thing and I'm realizing in the moment. I had the same exact reaction. I did when she Fell on her nose and like the other times where she's fallen on her face this like this Lizard sexist part of me. That's like but she's fallen on her face. This lizard sexist part of me that's like,

but she's so pretty. Like this is gonna be really bad for her. I sure hope that this catastrophic injury doesn't scar because she's so beautiful. Like she's such a beautiful kid. Yikes, or cute, I don't know. It's like worrying about like her setup for the rest of her life because her face is scarred.

I was like immediately pushing this thing back down but feeling it in the moment and being like, that was being like, soren take a second. Is that one of your genuine worries right now? And it was, and I was like, right. Is this what you're gonna wear? If Rowan had fallen would you be like I was like, right. If Rona just had fallen, would you be like, oh man, cool, that's gonna be great with your wrestling career?

Yeah, would I be like, oh no, your money maker. Oh, I'm so sorry. That one thing that was keeping us afloat. I don't know why this is in me, but it's not a good feeling. I'm already feeling pretty lousy because I can't help her. I can't do anything. I can clean it, but I's not a good feeling. I'm already feeling pretty lousy because I can't take, I can't help her. I can't do anything. I can clean it, but I can't make her feel

better and she, your child looks at you like fix this. Like I can't, I don't even know. I need somebody to tell me it's okay. I need somebody. I need to call a doctor or see a doctor who says, Oh no, this is all right. And that's what she wants from me. So I'm saying it to her, but I don't mean it because I don't know. Anyway, we've now it's such a big injury and we can't have her on the sun or anything. So like taking her to school is really challenging. We had to figure out the situation where we created a Phantom of the Opera mask out of band-aids, like cut a band-aid in such a way that she can go to school but it's not interfering with her face or mouth. Yeah, like her blinding her eye.

We've solved it for the most part. I still not allowed to feel around her eye. I imagine we'll have to get a CT scan or something eventually or we just leave it. She seems to be seeing fine and the swelling has gone down some but it was the grossest swelling, Daniel. It was like, you know what? I don't ever seen somebody with like a stung

They've been in a fight or they've been stung by a bee on their face or whatever and it swells and it swells in such a way that the eye Lid starts pulling away from the eye And like you can kind of like see the pink really well down in the corner of their eye You're like, ah somebody somebody put that back, that is gross. Ha ha ha ha. That sucks. Yeah, it was so bad.

And then I can't sleep or anything because now you've got this image in your head over and over of your child hitting the ground. Yeah. And like you can't get away from it. You can't escape it and it just plays like an earworm. Like it just, it's on all the time. And it's, I don't wanna take away from her injury,

but this was catastrophic for me. Of course, yeah. Yeah. Dealing with it and she recovered way faster than I did. And then I, you know, went to work and was at work while Colleen was home with her dealing with writing jokes for Stan and Roger. And like, you just can't, can't do it.

It's hard. Is she super scared of the bike now? Oh, great question. I don't. Thank you, the show is great question. I don't think so. Good. That is always the biggest concern, right?

With a kid, it's like they get hit with a baseball and they're like, I'm done with baseball. That's it, yeah. So far, we've kind of been testing the waters. We're not gonna put her back on it yet because she's still got some serious issues. Right, you're still scared of the bike. Yeah But um, I was talking to her about it and she was asking about the bike

She was like what's rotten on the bike and I was like, I don't know what that means She's like, where is it rotten and what she means is like where is it scratched up? And is it I love her questions. I wait. What is it damaged and Sounds like oh, yeah, it is. It's on the handlebars I because I did take an assessment damaged and so I was like, oh yeah, it is it's on the handlebars I think because I did take an assessment of it and she was like The tires aren't broken. I was like no It must have felt to her like the biggest fall like that. The pavement was not to be replaced because right such a big fall And she's asking about

Damage to the bike in the accident. She is not trying to diagnose like, how did this go wrong? She's not looking to see like, is there a flaw in the bicycle? Because she is refusing to accept her role in the- I wish, no, because a detail I left out was that as she's screaming and crying, and we're in the living room and I'm holding her

and I've got that ice on her face She's saying I'm sorry daddy over and over again. Oh heartbreaker She's saying sorry daddy. I'm sorry. I know how important my looks were to you You tell me every morning this is the only thing that's good about me I mean, I'm not going to keep trying to justify why I felt this way because I also didn't like that I felt this way. But she is like, she's such a beautiful little girl. And I would hate to rob her of that. Like it's a quality. I don't want it to be her only quality, but I would hate to rob her of that in Like it's a quality, I don't want it to be her only quality but I would hate to rob her of that in her early life

because I was reckless with her. Sure. And that's all I'll say. No, she was apologizing because of the fall and I kept saying, it's not your fault, it's not your fault. But then also doing that thing where I was like, this is why we can't turn around on our bike,

we can't turn our head around. Trying to like make it a teachable moment when it was not supposed to be that at all. But anyway, she's not scared of the bike, I don't think. Let her come in, let her see it in the garage. And she was like, oh! Like noticing that it wasn't that bad. And then I talked to her a little bit afterwards.

I was like, are you worried about your bike? She was like, no. I was like, okay, good. Let's just, let's stay right here. Let's live here. Are you worried? You're good at this. Yeah, okay, good. Let's just, let's stay right here. Let's live here. You're good at this. Yeah, it was horrifying. That's a better bounce back than when I fell off my bike

at 32. And then never rode a bicycle again. Just didn't ride for two and a half years or so. We'll see. We'll see how she responds. I don't know. It seems kind of touch and go for kids. I remember when I was young and like the bike is irrelevant to the story, but I happened

to be riding my bike and there was a dog in someone down the street's yard and the dog came out and like bit me on the thigh and it wasn't like hard or it didn't pierce the skin or anything like that. It was, I was a little kid and I was still scared. I was scared and like rushed home crying and really had a moment with myself where it's like, am I afraid of dogs now? No, I think I still like dogs.

I think it's fine. I think it's gonna be all right. But that particular type maybe. Yeah, yeah. fine. I think it's gonna be alright, but that particular type maybe yeah I definitely don't want to spit again Guess I'll just go somewhere else. I'll pick a different direction That's a horrifying I think every little kid has a story where they got attacked by a dog and not like a viciously attacked but What they felt at the time was an attack right attack and made them skittish around dogs.

But it is a realization that this still has wild animal in it. This pet still has, there's something in there that is not just my friend. I remember petting a dog at a baseball game. I had just played, but my brother was playing and there's a dog underneath the bleachers, this Rottweiler, and I was petting it.

And then I get up to leave, and maybe I stood up too quickly or whatever, but this dog lunged at me and grabbed at my chest and pierced the skin a little bit, but really got the jersey and stripped this jersey completely open, like shredded the jersey open, and I was like, that's it. I'm scared of Rottweilers.

I can't be near these again because they're unpredictable. Yeah. I barely got away from this one. And they can be powerful, you know? Yeah. It's a good lesson for listeners. She's healing up. I think that she's gonna be fine, I think.

I'm sure she's gonna be fine. But I don't know about scarring yet. Yeah. I can't answer that question yet. Have you, and probably the answer is no, because I imagine it would be scary for her. You have some well documented photos of you splitting your face open in a pool

covered in blood and then in stitches. Yeah. And now your money maker is still intact. Yeah, I don't know if that's like helpful for a kid or if it's like, dad bleeds too, oh no. I don't know what to say. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if that would be helpful for her.

Obviously her face is not her concern by any means. And so I've not, other than like, hey, I've been through it. Maybe it would be helpful. I have shown her the scar from it on my nose, which you see in the, it's very funny when it gets cold and then it becomes prominent. It's like a old matchbox car that like changes color. But that's a good idea.

That's how you know soren's brains are cool enough to drink is when the. I that's a good idea how soaring brains are cool enough to drink is when the It was It was swollen to such a degree that I think that might actually be helpful to her because when she saw herself in the mirror I thought it would I thought would calm her down. This is a huge mistake on my part She thought it was just profusely bleeding and I was like, it's just a scrap like it's it's road rash So yeah blood on the surface, but it's not dripping out of you And I was like here come look at it in road rash. So it's blood on the surface, but it's not dripping out of you.

And I was like, here, come look at it in the mirror. And when she saw herself in the mirror, she lost it because it looked way worse than she anticipated because of the swelling and the black, immediately bruising and everything. And there's dirt, like she was inconsolable. And I was like, I shouldn't have done that. That wasn't helpful.

I thought she thought it was gonna be worse, but no No, no, this is the worst thing Anyway, she does seem to be getting better. She's her usual self again We found some very cool band-aids that are tied I that she's into that's exciting But she is very hesitant to be around people because she doesn't, she's shy about it in a way that I'm worried might be my fault. I don't, I didn't ever explicitly say anything to her but she's like, she doesn't want people to see it.

Yeah. And I don't know how to fix that. I was like, they're just gonna, if they do see it and they're curious about it, they're just gonna ask how it happened. She's like, I don't wanna tell people I fell off my bike. And I was like they're just gonna if they do see it and they're curious about they're just gonna ask how it happened She's like I don't want to tell people I fell off my bike. I was okay. Oh, that's it. Don't have to Yeah, I don't know why but yeah, that's important to you great Then we'll try to avoid that the same thing my son at one point had gotten a fever so bad at night

when he had strep throat that as I was walking to the bathroom he passed out and That was really scary and then the next day we were weird happened my we were like it was my wife's parents 40th anniversary or 15th anniversary or something like that and so He's there off like by himself in a mask basically And we're we still have to we have jobs

We have to do with this thing and as we're people are moving around stuff They're asking about him and I was telling them like you so he had severe so bad He passed out last night and then he pulled me aside. He's like stop stop telling people that and I was like, oh Is that embarrassing to you? He's like I didn't pass out and I was like, oh you didn't he's like no I was thinking about it and that and my eyes went back because I was trying to look at the The picture that was above me And I was like, huh? This is true. What are we doing? Like what is this live and but I didn't call him on that

I was like, oh, okay. All right, but he really wanted to He didn't want it to be on public record that he passed out. Yeah. I didn't understand why. It's very funny to me, the secrets that kids think adults will keep for them. Because I'm reminded of playing little league basketball at like 11 or 12 years old. And dealing with my still at that time,

cause it's still currently undiagnosed stomach issues that got me some mid-quarter diarrhea that forced me to leave the court and find the bathroom and like miss a lot of the game while I was dealing with that. And like my mom was at that game while my dad was at work or home, probably at work, he wouldn't have missed the game. And I, you know, came

back to the game severely dehydrated. I was like, I'm gonna ride the bench for the rest of this game. I don't know when this is gonna, you can't count on me even more so than usual you can't. So I was just like, I'll just sit this one out. And on the ride home, I was like, hey, mom, it would be great if you could just not tell dad that I got diarrhea and I had to leave the game. And then later she told him, and I overheard from the next room, and I was so upset at the time.

I was like, this was supposed to be our secret. And thinking about it now, it's like, in what world are two parents gonna not share a medical emergency with each other to save so I can save my pride. I mean some of that's on her some of that's on her in the moment that she said yeah I won't tell him or that she swore to secrecy because you can't do that. That's a fairy. You'd be like, oh no, you don't understand. We're all on the same team.

Right. I have to tell them. Because like if I had, if something was really wrong and a few days later I had passed out and my dad was like, what happened? And he was like, oh yeah, I mean, he did have diarrhea like pretty bad in the middle of a game, but like, well it was just between us.

Yeah, even then she could have been, she was sort of secrecy. He would have been like, what happened? Why is this happening? And she'd have to go, I don't know. This is the first time. This is the first time. All right, everybody. Thank you for listening to the podcast.

This has been Quick Question with Sorin and Daniel. You knew that. Special thanks to me, Rex, who did did our theme song you can find their music anywhere You listen to and stream music or you can find full albums at merex.bandcamp.com Thank you to gabe harter who is the sound engineer editor producer Uh social guru everything the glue to the podcast gabe harter And you know what? It's like some thrown out thank yous.

Thank you to Daniel. Hey! Thank you for being here. You're welcome. Thanks for talking to me. Missed you, buddy. Good to see you again. Glad everything's okay with Gilly.

That must be so scary. I can't imagine. Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much. All right, bye. Bye. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right. I wanna hear your thoughts,

wanna know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right. The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite? Who did you get? Who would I be? If you remember? Words without a word at all, who are you? Who did you get? Who would I be? If you remember

Words without a word An older guy we know Oh forget it Saw a movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends And comedy writers If there's an answer

They're gonna find it I think you'll have A great time here I think you'll have a great time here