Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Doing Bits During Emergency Training | Quick Question Ep. 316

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Daniel is fresh off an infant care class and a CPR certification, which leads to a wide-ranging conversation about how much preparation actually sticks when it matters. He and Soren talk swaddling, baby hygiene, circumcision care, and the unsettling reality that newborns are basically loose bags of milk. From there, things spiral into CPR etiquette, AED myths, corporate training videos, and the strange urge to do crowd work during emergency situations. Along the way, Soren recounts helping a lost child at a holiday light show—and the unexpectedly ambiguous text exchange that followed—while both hosts grapple with the question of when to step in, when to back away, and how anyone is supposed to know what to do in a crisis.Thanks to ASPCA. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.Thanks to ButcherBox. Go to ButcherBox.com/QQ for $20 off, free shipping always, and choose filet mignon, ny strip or chicken breast in every box for a year, new subscribers only.Follow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts

question for you all right I don't know what's on your mind Welcome back Here's the quick question podcast with Saurin and Daniel I am one half of that podcast Daniel O'Brien It's my co-host Soren Buii Soren, how you doing today? I'm Sauram Bui.

What is that from? Where am I getting that from? Is that reggae music? Am I appropriating? It might be. Let's see if I could save you from appropriating. It might. I feel like that is from early 2000s just like general pop music.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like something horn-based. Like you are. you are a young person in 2003 and there's some ska happening and there's some reggae happening on all of the top pop charts and it's on TRL on MTV

and Sean Paul if Target was doing commercials Sean Paul would be doing that noise in a Target commercial I think at a certain point all culture becomes your culture Soren. Hi, I'm Carson Daly. Welcome to the beach.

We're having a great time out here. Our next song is one for all you, you love it. It's called Rude Boy. Let's take it away the sticks. Take it away the sticks? I was naming a ska band. Oh, the sticks was a ska band? Okay.

No, I was just making it up. I couldn't say sticks. But like if there was a band that doesn't seem like a ska band that would be called like D-A-S-T-I-C-K-S. D-D-S-T-E-S-T-S. Yeah. It feels very scotomy. How you doing, buddy?

I'm a little frazzled right now. Me too. We're both kind of all over the place. This would be a fun energy for this podcast. I think I was just looking at the comments of our last episode. Whoops. Don't do that. No, it was like someone was saying that we've really been in a groove the last couple episodes.

And I felt that too. I think we took some time off seeing each other for the holidays. And then our first two episodes back, we were like energized and peppy and fun. and I don't think we can maintain it. I think we can. Because here we are our third episode in. And it's a weird energy. No, the weird ones are sometimes the favorite ones.

It's not like I'm tired of you seeing you. Hey, that's nice to hear, man. But hey, speaking of weird energy. No, hold on. No, come on. I'm not going to walk past it. You got to say it. It's good to see you.

I like seeing you. Yeah, sure. It's great to see you. I'm not. I'm not tired of seeing you. I'm not tired of seeing you. Oh, Daniel. What a sweet thing to say?

In a shirt that you have been wearing for at least 15 years. Yeah. You know, for anyone who's just listening to this, I'm wearing a Colorado shirt that I bought at a gas station in Colorado. My identity is a real whirlwind because my mom has moved away from Colorado. I have no ties there anymore. But still, knee jerk when people are, and I'm in another state, people are like, oh, where are you from? I go Colorado. Yeah.

That's not true. Hasn't been true for over like 10 years, 20 years. Jesus. But that shirt, I don't think I have a shirt in my rotation dating back that far. There are shirts that I've held on to for nostalgic purposes that I can't fully wrap my head around. But I don't have any shirt that like, there are no shirts that you saw me where to work when we worked at Crackdown. And you will see me wearing today. Oh, brother, I've got, I can, I'm thinking of a shirt right now that's from middle school that I still wear.

It's back. Dude, I, you just wait long enough. You wait long enough and your clothes come right back. My fresh jive shirts, I'm about to dust those off and blow some kids' minds. Get my capell pants out, unravel them, put them on. But don't you get excited about new clothes? Yeah, I do. But I'm trying to curb that portion of myself.

the materialist portion of myself, the wants and wants. But it's fine that you don't. It's fine. That's a, I'll fill some sort of hole in your heart. That's fine. But for me, it's different. I got a, I need a reset. I can't.

We're not a podcast where we have contentious energy. I don't want that to be our vibe. All right. All right. Let's see, let's see. How do you want to do this? I don't know. Hey, quick question for you.

Okay. Let's see. So my wife and I did an infant care class last night that is on Zoom, which is unfortunate. Why? It might be a, it may have started in COVID. And maybe they just don't have like the, like people don't. want to meet in person. I certainly do. I would love to like practice the swaddling and all of the other stuff that they're talking about instead of just like sitting in front of my computer with my wife

and it's like dinner time and we're kind of cooking soup at the same time of this meeting. But the class, the meeting class, they teach swaddle methods. Yeah. They teach, uh, protecting the circumcision area. If you have a boy and you choose to get the boy circumcised, they have, here's how you change a boy diaper, here's how you change a girl diaper, here's how you do a sponge bath. Here is different ways that you should hold the baby.

Here's how you should burp the baby. Here's where you should put the baby on your person. How you're teaching that class. How long is the class that you were teaching? It's a lecture. There's questions at the end. So you don't have to account for people saying they're dumb things about, um, yeah, why can't I let the baby sleep in the car seat forever or what temperature does the room need to be? So you're just giving the information. How long does that take you? An hour? Okay. All right. This was, this class, uh, budgeted for 90 minutes and she got that information out in about an hour. And I watched it, uh, thinking this can be. shorter. There's got to be way to dial this in. Well, okay.

If it's, it's not a recurring class, right? You just go once. Go once, yeah. What I would do, definitely, is I would do an hour class, but I would make it recurring once every trimester. Because, like, you get everything in somebody's brain, then it's all

going to fall out. And then you get it in their brain again. They're like, oh yeah, and they start to remember it. And then in the third trimester right before they give birth, you do the final class, and they're like, oh, yes. It is all. all sunk in now because the minute you walk out of that class, that stuff falls right out of your head. The CPR for babies

that's gone immediately. Which we did not cover. We did not get into the CPR for babies. Okay, great. But it was it's been top of mind because unrelated to the infant stuff that I was learning, I took a CPR

class last week just out of my own accord to get CPR certified it so I know how to do CPR and use an AED machine. Yeah. Yeah. And that was in person and you had a video component and dummies to practice on and you practiced it

over and over again and that I feel like I've got down like the practice is a little humiliating because the dummy is legless and armless thing on the ground and they still say I'm like I'm doing the chest it's like my turn to practice

so I'm doing the chest compressions and they're like yeah yeah you have to you have to start from the beginning And so I have to go, okay, are you okay? Are you okay? And I have to look at it to see if it's breathing. And then I have to turn to someone and say, you, find an AED machine. And I turn to someone else and say, you, what's your name? Brian, call 911. And then I start doing the chess compression. You do crowd work first. I have to do all that stuff. I have to do. Who came the furthest to be here? I have to ask the Madigan if it's okay. Otherwise, they won't give me my certification for CPR. And it's annoying and humiliating, but, like, I feel pretty good about my CPR and AED skills right now.

And meanwhile, I don't think I'm any closer to swaddling a baby, having watched a woman do it on Zoom twice. Well, let me help you with that. Has anyone given you stuffed animals yet? for the, for the impending child. Like a little fawn and a lamb and a bee. Can you give me like a size with your hands? Like, show me too small. What you need is you're going to eventually,

maybe I'll send you something. But like you get like an orangutan or a monkey or something like that. That is, those are generally like the curious George dolls or whatever. That's generally baby shaped and maybe about the right size as a newborn. And that's super helpful in terms of like practicing all of these. things. It's a lot lighter, but still, like, you get like a lot better sense of like, oh, I can swaddle this. And then you just practice it over and over and you're like, oh, I'm an expert at swaddling now. Or what I was incredibly startled by was we had our baby, our first child,

we were in the hospital and like, we are being so precious and fragile with him. And then the pediatrician comes in. And she's like, without even talking to us, she just picks him right up and holds him by the face like this and holds his face out and just starts patting him like slapping him on the back and we're like ah but he's loving it we're like oh okay all right fine but you can be pretty rough with them it turns out

they showed that method the instructor was like grab the baby don't like hold its throat but like grab it by the like a finger on each ear and tilt it so his throat is open and burp it that way and I was just like maybe we'll get maybe we'll get a baby that doesn't need to burp or just like it comes burp trained somehow. Wouldn't that be great the way that I got my dog already potty trained? Wouldn't that be something?

Does it, did they talk about how babies are basically just like a loose bag of milk that's open? Yes. That's my favorite thing is that their esophagus is like they don't have any of those sphincters ready. So when you fill, when a baby's full, Don't lay it down because the middle you lay it down, just like, it would all come right out. It just spills out of their face. Just a fussy bag of milk that is either hungry or gassy but doesn't understand gassy. And it's just like, I'm in pain.

Fix this. I don't know what to do about it. Yeah. The thing that I was surprised by with a newborn was that they are basically an extension of you. So everything that you think you would be grossed out by, you're no longer because it's you. Like that's, that's, this is now an auxiliary port. And, and so like anything that they do is that you're not disgusted by anything. In fact, it's super cathartic.

The minute they actually do burp, you're like, oh, it feels so good in your own chest to hear them burp. And then like the baby will like ride and stuff. And all of a sudden, just shows enormous just they let loose in their diaper. And you're like, fuck yeah. That's mine. That's me. Got some more out. It got the bad stuff out.

But babies do have a really nice smell generally. But they also, because they have a little fat folds and everything, milk collects in places on them that you don't anticipate. Because they're messy eaters too, like, right? Because they, even as they're nursing, they're fucking messy about it. So it's like getting in their eyebrows and stuff like that. And they and then it collects under their chin. And you just, because you're drowning ultimately. You have no idea what's going on at any given moment.

You're tired. you can kind of just forget about that every once in a while. And then like your baby kind of stinks and you lift up their neck. And there's just this like it's all been turning to those like snakes of grease, those like thin tendrils. Like if you took glue and put it on your arm and then rolled it with your like ran your arm across it a bunch, you get those like little snakes of deptress. Sure.

That they're like it's so gross. And they build that up. They build it up in the crazy place. you don't anticipate in their belly buttons as soon as the navel falls like that scab falls off they collect shit in there that you're like whoa that's funky that doesn't smell great

that was something that was surprising to me and maybe it'll be surprising to our listeners that the where the umbilical cord was right at the belly button I'm not supposed to touch that or get it wet I'm waiting for that to dry out and fall off

which is, I feel like we should have that dialed in a little bit better at this point. It falls off in two stages, my friend. It is a scab. So the first stage is you're holding your baby and like doing skin to skin, but you have what is essentially like a chip clip hooked onto their umbilical cord, this like giant plastic clip that is just in the way all the time. And it's really uncomfortable when you're holding your baby. and I would assume I'm comfortable for them.

You can see it pronounced under their clothes. That thing falls off. And then the rest of the scab later has to come off of the belly button. It's gross. It's gross looking. And when it comes out, it's really, really gross. Because you get to see everything that's underneath that's still raw. But then you'll get a sense of what kind of belly button your child's going to have for the rest of their fucking life.

That's exciting. I hope this isn't too personal. Do it. Did Shea's belly button pop out? Not yet, but it's close and I'm so excited. I've never been more excited about anything in my life, I don't think. I'm watching her belly button get more and more shallow as the baby occupies more space. And I will look at her belly button and it's like, it's coming.

Pretty soon I'm going to know everything. Yeah, I'll subside every part of you. Yep. Colleen has an abnormally deep belly button. Like, it's cavernous in a way that there's twists and turns to it that you would never be able to explore the entire thing. But when she was, yeah, when she was pregnant, like all of a sudden it was all out there.

And I was like, yeah. Oh, now we can finally map this area. We've been waiting for this. God, and you can tag it like a graffiti artist. And people one day will be like, how did it get there? It's really exciting stuff. I draw a little buffalo in it, like crudely drawn Buffalo and men hunting it.

I'd be like, oh, they're going to love to find this. We have a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. I've got a cat named Bethany, and she is, well, you know, more of a roommate, honestly. She kind of does her own thing. She needs my help occasionally, like a roommate would, to get in and out of the house. I don't know if that's true of ever roommate. but she's so kind and just kind of her own animal. We just live together, but we have a really amicable, fun relationship.

And I don't like thinking about the possibility that I would ever not live with her. Because she's part of the family. And when somebody's part of the family, you do anything you could for them. Now, we have fire insurance, we have auto insurance, but we so rarely think about pet insurance. those vet bills you get because we're going to, if somebody's wrong with her, I would pay, oh boy, I don't want to think about how much I would pay. I'd go bankrupt taking care of my cat. That's why it's worth checking out ASPCA pet health insurance.

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That's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash question. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either independent American insurance company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PtZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Yeah, there's, let's see, the swaddling is, it's enormously helpful to just practice it, to practice it without a baby first. if you have something that is approximation, like approximation of a baby, it needs shoulders.

Because like you're like really dependent on those to wrap that, that first wrap that that goes over the shoulder in a swaddle. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Okay. So that first wrap is is like crucial. And so you need something that you can't just use like a sweet potato or something. You need something that has some, uh, humanish shape to it.

Um, and then once you have it, you're fucking in. Also, changing diapers. Uh, you used to talk about the difference between. changing a neighbor for a boy or girl, that early on, man, barely different. Yeah. Barely different at all. Well, I think the main thing that the teacher was communicating was like, this is a really important step if you have a boy and you've gotten your boy circumcised.

That's why we need to make this like a whole, there's just an extra step to it for like five to seven days while the surgical point heels. We hit, Ronan was circumcised. And I do remember that. I remember the surgery not being as bad as I anticipated. And then I remember the taking care of it. It comes in it through a haze to me. But it was not, it was like, this is long.

It's taking forever to like to just keep this child. Like, keep this injury from being touched at all by water or anything. Because also after you first have your baby, they're going to recommend you don't bathe your baby for a very long time. For a long time. they were saying the sponge bath well the thing that's a one thing that surprised me is

I guess two things. A, they don't you don't just like bathe it in a little bowl of water. You do a sponge bath and two they're like we really only want you to bathe your to wash your baby like every two days just a couple of times a week. That's so much.

That's I thought it was going to be an everyday thing. I thought I'm always going to want to keep the baby clean. So I was shocked at two, every two days. Well, first of all, and this is pretty gross, but early on, they're like, I'd leave the amniotic fluid on the baby as long as you can. They're going to towel it off a little when your baby's first born. But for the most part, that amniotic fluid on their skin is super good for their skin.

And so you leave it on for as long as you can. It might be like three days where they're just like, don't do anything. This is like the best thing for your babies, just leave this stuff on its skin. and then you can finally be you know you put your baby's head under the sink and you can kind of wash their hair a little bit and then yeah you can give them a little sponge bath but you don't have to do it very often

also because other than like the the stuff you have to wipe off you basically you spot treat a baby you if they've got an area that's gross you just treat that but otherwise you don't have to do much in terms of like cleaning them they're fine they're not working up a sweat doing anything Are they not?

Not really. No. Man. I want my baby to work, you know? Later sleeping, they sweat a lot. But even their sweat is not, it's not the same as like a normal human sweat. Everything is brand new about this thing. So nothing actually is stinky or bad for it.

It's great. There's no bacteria built up on its skin. Something else I've learned about myself. This is switching gears back to the CPR AED class. I don't know if there's an easy replacement for this, and I feel like you will connect with it as well, but I realize in that class how much I miss low-stakes settings where I can make strangers laugh.

I'm not trying to get back into stand-up comedy. But like the kinds of meetings we used to have for our parent company where it was not just cracked in the meeting, you would be like broken up into groups and it was like, we are doing sexual harassment training or we are learning about how to not do insider training, which was a

very important meeting that we all had to attend and you're just like tossed into a group with with randos just doing little jokes and little quips and stuff. It was a real dream. There's, my wife and I

laugh a lot. I'm not like on at home, though. I'm just doing like bits and stuff here and there. But like with a teacher and a class and there's some attention and like there's an opportunity to do some quick off the top zingers. I miss it. And there's nothing. There's no substitute. There's no like I can't go and do bits somewhere in an enclosed location with strangers.

Go to the library. I, you know what? I agree with you that that's a. really nice. It's really nice when I have that, but nothing turns me off faster than when I'm in those spaces and there's another person like that there. I'm like, you suck. I'm like, I'm so judgmental of anyone else who is like that. It's crazy. If I was in, because I was in the CPR class, and one of the women in the class, it was important to her that everyone knew, that she knew how to do all this stuff.

I don't know why she was taking the class, but she would be like a half a step earlier than the instructor when they're like, now they want you to do a certain rhythm when you're doing the chest compressions and you're doing 30 of these, and it's blah, blah, blah, beats per minute. In a way that I like to remember that when I'm doing it

and the woman who was taking the class said, staying alive. I just have staying alive and you do it to that beat that's how I do it and the instructor was just like yes, stay in alive if you're doing the compressions

on the beat to staying alive and the woman was just like yeah, that's how I do it and there was me sitting in judgment there where I was just like, this is not no one came here to hear you

no one came here to learn anything about you or to have you show off that you know the most about this stuff but then me, this judgmental guy I'm the same guy who's sitting there a little bit later thinking like

people seem like they're getting restless. They probably want a little joke. They probably want. They're probably looking around thinking I wish someone here. This meeting is getting pretty dry. If I lubricate it with a joke. Yeah, I know that exact same feeling. But also, like you run into those circumstances,

I think that you'd be very good in that circumstance. I would like your jokes. That's how we became friends. I think that you probably are good at this. I think there are so many people who want the same thing but are bad at it. And so you get into these rooms where somebody thinks they're not seeing that void being filled and they're like, fuck yeah. And they're like they're going to do their bits. And the bits are working because you've never had a more generous audience because everybody there is not anticipating jokes.

They're like, so when one pops up, they're like, oh, what a nice little treat. And so they want it. They're hungry for it. But you can't do it now. because somebody else is taking the role and they're not good at it. You know what's toxic is that I was funny in school and funny in college

and in like different after college groups and stuff. Just funny with quips and the natural reaction from other people is like you should do stand-up. No, that's terrible advice. I should do more groups. I thrive in a little group.

I should not personally. I never should have pursued comedy. I should have taken a path that put me in office to a position to be the funniest person in an office or safety training class. Hey, we're back again thinking about dinner. The bane of my existence. That thing that you have to think about every single day. You have to put fuel back in the tank and it, I just, I despise it. Oh my God. The process. It consumes so much. life just deciding what you're going to eat. Well, I love having the decision taken away from me. I would be happy to never think about it again. And that's why I love Butcher Box. Butcher Box helps you stay on track with premium protein deliver.

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The CPR is always changing I don't always understand the rules of it I know it's 30 on and then a breath at this point Which 30 is so much Yeah There's At the beginning of the class are they like hey In most circumstances

You should not be doing CPR Because it does catastrophic damage to the body No They are saying Well I want to be very Clear that this is for sudden cardiac arrest. They're not saying, like, you should do CPR. These people were very pro-CPR broadly. They cast a

pretty wide net with it as, like, it will only help. If someone has, like, passed out, um, doing, assume they're, they're dead or dying. So doing nothing won't do anything. CPR might save their life. And there's like, for statistics that they brought out, or it's like, someone has a sudden cardiac arrest, there's a blank percent chance that they'll die before the EMTs get there. If you perform chest compressions CPR, then their chance of survival jumps up 30 or some odd, crazy huge percentage. These people were like, because my question was like,

what if someone is, what if it's a seizure or a brain aneurism or like any number of other things? And they're just like, this is mostly for cardiac arrest, but assume you should do this all the time. Because people can, people jump the gun, I think. Yeah. I think that, because it's very hard. You're in a panic scenario where you're like checking for a pulse, you're checking for breathing.

Faint breathing can be really hard to detect. And then you're like, I'm going to start CPR. And also, once you start CPR, you don't stop. So you've got like such an endeavor. It's like you're going to be doing that for 45 minutes is exhausting. And then in addition to that, it's exhausting for the body of the body of, the person you're pushing on over and over and over again. And you're pushing hard.

So, like, people come out of care, out of CPR with like, yeah, surely, they're definitely live saved. There are also people who come out of it with collapsed ribs. Yeah. Collapsed lungs. Bruised in internal organs and stuff because it's so catastrophic. Yeah. It was the, the video that they play is, like all these videos, it's, they're always very funny

and impossible. Any, like, corporate training video done. in the history of time has been absurd. And this one, two guys were online at a cafe in an airport talking. And one of them clutches his chest and collapse to the floor. And the guy, his buddy knew CPR. And so he was quick to jump into the into action. But they pan over to like other people in this cafe.

And there's a girl who was like, I don't know CPR. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. And a guy behind the counter at the. airport cafe whose inner monologue is, I know where the AED machine is, but I don't know how to use it. And so you see that, like, that's our team. And you have our ringleader who is like, you, girl who doesn't know anything. What's your name? You call 911 right now. And then the guy at the cafe goes, sir, I know where the AED machine is. And he goes, go get it. And then he uses it. And another stranger comes up and is like, I'm here and I know CPR. If your hands need a break from

pushing on his chest, tag me in and I'll do it. He's like, okay. And I'm watching that. I'm just like, to begin with, the kid at the cafe doesn't know where the AED machine is. No one knows where the fucking AED machine is. I'm sure I've seen a million of them in my life. I'm blind to them, yeah. I have, yeah, they are lamps.

They're banner ads at this point. I'm just going to, my brain has been chosen to ignore them. And the idea of a guy running up, when the situation is like already in hand and there's a guy who is doing chest compression, and he is officially on the hook. I don't think in a million years another person walks up and is like,

you can tag me in and I will start doing this thing that might crack someone's ribs. I think you're in the fucking airport. So you're on your way to your gate and you're like, oh, that, it looks like that's under control. I would only get in the way. I am going to keep on moving. I saw an incident in an airport

where a woman fell over her own suitcase and fell on her face on the ground and was moving badly out of her face. And she was with other people. And then all of a sudden, those people were calling for help. And like, I'm standing there with food and I'm ready to get on my plane and I'm looking at this happen. And I'm like, I should do something.

And then there's like six people around her. And one person's like doing all the like, making sure she's responsive, all this stuff. And I was like, I'm going to go. Yeah. I just turned around and walked away from somebody in a terrible situation. that's also something that they don't and I guess there's no way to prepare for it but they don't bring it up in this class

when you say that she fell on her face and was bleeding in the video when this person falls down they clutch their chest and like slowly sit back and lay perfectly flat on their back there's no preparation for like the reality that a person would pass out bashed their head on a counter

or a table or whatever and start bleeding while you're doing all this like blood on face while they're like, and then you got to breathe into their mouth. None of that comes up. They want you to have like in this perfect controlled environment. He lands on his back and is wearing a button down shirt so you can easily open his chest to do the compressions and put the AED device on there. The AED I'm very curious about. From what I understand it's not like not in the movies where they do a clear pop pop. But it's like, can you be touching the body while the AED is on them or no? No. And these devices, as long as they're charged and they're,

they're up to snuff and I think like legally they're supposed to be inspected but you know so are fire extinguishers and nowhere where I've ever worked has someone inspected the fire extinguishers right but assuming they're working they are pretty idiot proof that you either from opening the case or pressing the green on button a voice comes up and is like start start by doing compressions and now we're going to ask you to to peel off the stickers on these pads and place one of them here, and there's like a diagram showing you where to put it, and the other one here. And then once they're on there, the machine knows

and the machine will say, preparing for a charge, clear the area, don't touch the body, and then the machine is going to say clear, and it's going to shock them, and it's going to tell you to resume compressions while it's like monitoring the pulse or the heartbeat

of this, the person on the ground. Who I might have called victim before. I can't remember if I said victim or corpse. Neither of them are great. We didn't get into the vocabulary in this class. One question that a woman in the class asked, and, you know, there are no dumb questions, but it just struck me that pretty early in the class when we learned about compression, she was like, now, this may be a delicate question, but what if it's a woman who falls down?

and she has very large breasts. What do you do? And everyone in the class looked at her. Hell yeah. Get her back to life too sweet, baby. We're just like, you still have to try. You still have to do CPR. What if I'm distracted?

There's stuff in the way. How big they are. You've just got to do it. What if I then need to feel the need to touch them? Yeah. Sad. Only the good die young, right? Yeah.

I'm trying to find something for you because I had an emergency scenario play out recently. It wasn't my family, but it was something that I encountered out in the wild where I'm trying to find the text for it. I'm going to have to just describe it. We were at a light show right around Christmas, a beautiful light show here in L.A. and it's a place where you walk around and there's like gorgeous stuff happening all over this garden area. Like you've never seen in your life. But as we're doing this walk around, I'm with my whole family and then my in-laws. I see this little boy running and crying.

And I'm like, I've seen this before. That boy is lost. And so I was like, Ronan come with me because I can't approach a little boy by himself and try and help. him. Sure, because it's weird. It's a bad look. And so I, and also for him, like, it's easier if there's, like, another kid right there. You can see it. This adult is safe. So I run ahead with Ronan. And we go and we get this kid. And I'm like, hey, are you lost? Do you need help? And he was like, yeah, I can't find my mom. And I was like, okay, it's, this place is huge too. And I'm like, yeah, I get why. You're so upset. Like, we got this. And so I'm like, all right, well, let's, what's your

name? What's your mom's name? What's your mom's name? was the last place you saw her. Oh, she's with your sister. Where are they? Like, where are they in relationship to here? Do you think? And he's like, I don't know. And he didn't know a lot of that information.

He's like, I don't even know when I lost them. And I'm like, how long have you been lost? And he was like, time was still tough for him. So he was like an hour. I don't think that's right. But okay. Yeah. All right.

And so I'm like, well, and so I'm like, I'm looking around just to see if there's anyone, a silhouette in the dark that also looks panicked. Right. Who's moving around quickly or jerkily or whatever? There are so many different sections of this place that I'm like, okay. I was like, let's just sit down. And I was like, do you know your mom's phone number? And he was like, yes.

It was awesome. Yeah. This kid was probably like seven. And he's like, he just rattles it off for me. And I was like, yes. So I'm calling her. But phones have been made. obsolete and useless that people don't answer their phone anymore.

So I'm calling her like 17 times to be like, just pick up, please. Just pick up. She's getting spam calls or she's not paying attention to her phone because she's looking for her son. I don't know what it was, but she's not picking up. Calling over and over and leaving messages. And I'm texting too at the same time. At this point, somebody who works there has wandered past and they're like, okay, okay. All right.

Let's see. What's his name? And I'm like, nah, listen, like, we're just, just hang out. You can hang out here, but we're trying to find this mom. You have a walkie-talkie, like, are the people in other areas that look panicked? Or does anyone claim that a child is missing. Things are going great because this kid has given me the phone number. And finally, she calls me back.

And I'm like, hey, are you looking for your son? And she was like, yeah. But like, not like, oh my God, yes. Yeah. Just like, yeah, it's, isn't that funny? He's missing. And I'm like, all, well, we're over in this section. She's like, where is that?

And I was like, oh, man, this is, oh, brother. Yeah, we're, um, it's, that's a nightmare. And, uh, she finally, we, I stay on the phone with her until I can see her. And then I see her and I wave to her. And like the kid is just, it's a homeward bound moment. Like this kid just like runs and embraces his mom and is like, starts crying all over again. He had really calmed down and been cool about it. He embraces his mom.

I, I know from experience to just bow out of that situation. And I'd be like, hey, I'm the one to find your son. Like I, as soon as I see that he's with his mom, like, I've been in playgrounds before where a child has been lost and a dad I see is all of a sudden very panicked, gone out and like found the kid in like a lens crafters or whatever and like bring him to the dad. And the dad wants nothing to do with you because like the most important thing now is the kid. And so you're just like, okay, and you back out of that situation. And so I did that. I didn't even get close to her. I just like waved.

And I was like, yeah, he's good. she's like, thank you. And then because we have each other's phone numbers, she starts texting me. And she's like, later that night, she's like, hey, thank you again. And I'm like, oh, yeah, obviously, no problem. Like I, she's like, how did you even know he's lost? She's trying to get like the details of it. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, well, he was like, he was crying. He was pretty upset. But we knew that my son and I helped him. Like, we knew he was lost. We tried to do everything we could. He was really amazing. He was the real hero. He knew your phone number.

Like, that's the best thing that could have possibly happened. It reminded me that my kids need to, like, I need to, like, I need to, grill them on my phone number. And she's like, do you live in the area? And I was like, oh, uh, sort of. Like, I'm down in Culver City. And she's like, there are a lot of good restaurants there. I was like, yeah, I guess so.

And she's like, is this one still there? And I'm like, oh, I think so. I mean, if I just look online, I can see that it's still here. And then she starts like, there's like more. She just like wants the conversation to keep going. And I'm like, oh, is this, like, does she think that this is a window? Like, this is like a sign. Like, oh, this man was so kind.

He also has a child. Like, I wasn't necessarily near the rest of my family when my son and I were doing this. And I'm wondering if she was like, do you want to invite me to dinner or not? I was hoping, I guess I still am hoping, because I don't know if there's more to this story. I'm hoping that she wants to thank you but doesn't understand how in the situation. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's just thinking like,

maybe I can get him like a nice gift certificate for a restaurant near him. Like if I could do any kind of fact-finding and if I name a restaurant and he says, oh, that one's pretty good, but if you want top, we actually prefer this place, my wife and I, then it's like, aha, now I know.

I'm going to get him a gift certificate for that place. I mean, I guess so. Just because it's such a leap, I think, to assume you are a single parent. Yeah. Also at this, at this light show, I guess. Right. Yes, I guess you're right. That's probably true.

But it was, it was. So we don't know. There's no resolution yet. She goes to cut ties. Eventually, I just started like doing that. I did the. text equivalent of slapping my knees and standing up. I was like, okay, well, I'm just really glad that everything worked out.

And it was a pleasure meeting you. Yeah. Like, try to, like, just wrap it up. And eventually she just stops texting. Oh, you know what else I threw out was when she said, gosh, she said something. God, I wish you could find it. She said something that really made me think, oh, I think she's trying to see if we could get together, maybe just like a drink or something.

And so I was like, she had mentioned, oh, she'd mentioned bar. And she was like, do you guys come up this? No, you guys. Do you come up this way often? And I was like, no. And I think she had mentioned a bar that was really nice there. If you ever come back up this way. And I was like, oh, you know what?

I think me and my wife have gone there before. And you're right. The drinks are great. Something like that. Yeah. And I think right around that time is when the conversation kind of died out. But it was, it was so surprising to me. First of all, to have somebody reach back out.

And I went from being like, oh, that's a very. kind thing to also then like reach back out and be like hey i've had a chance to decompress now and i just want to again say thank you so much for helping you were pivotal in this situation that's a very very kind of you right i feel like you you would be so embarrassed i'm putting myself in her shoes and why i would not reach out to you is i would be so embarrassed that i don't want to like and now i got a fucking text super dad and and say like thank you i'm such a bad parent i lost my kid where would i be without you i would just like let's just let's just close this chapter forever and I will, I will,

hopefully never run into this this nice man again for the rest of my life. Oh boy. Oh, buddy. I found it. Oh. I found it. Do you want me to read it to you? I do. Okay. I found her son. I'm not going to say her son's name, but I was, like, we're in the symphony of oaks. We're looking for you. He just got

separated. And then later that, this is much later that night. She's like, hey, I'm his mom. I just want to say a heartfelt, thank you for helping him when he got separated. You were so kind and incredibly grateful. And I was like, of course. I remember that feeling as a kid. So I was more than happy to help. It was a real star, though, for knowing your fun number. And she's like, did he come up to you? I said, no, we just saw him crying and running. We went and talked to him. She said, oh, man, poor little guy. Thank you again for being so calm and taking swift action. I really can't thank you enough. He said you were very kind to him, and he thought

you were quite brave. And I said, it was really no trouble at all. I'm glad it all worked out. She says, wishing you a great Thanksgiving. Are you local? I said, yeah, you too. No, we live in Culver City. She's like, I know well, we used to live in downtown L.A. for 18 years. There's an awesome muscles place there, a French spot. She's like, is it still? And then I was like, I'm like, I don't know, is it this place? And she's like, yes.

Still there? Is it still good? And I said, actually, I've never been. I've just driven past. And he said, and then it continues to be like, well, do you ever come up this way? There's an awesome muscles place there. Yeah, muscles place. So the conversation started to take

a very casual turn in a way where I was like, well, this is weird. And then I was like, oh, oh, is this a thing? Like, is this a, are you saying, do you, we should go there sometime? We should just like catch up. Let's see. How to be non-judgmental and delicate. when they reunited. I guess you kept a distance

so you didn't get a look at her shoes or anything like that. I want to know what how she seemed. I know where you're going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She seemed pretty together. Because I do know she was wearing a Patagonia puffy jacket.

Okay. That is any indication. And she, her son had it together. Her son was so good about like knowing yeah, this is what I do in an emergency situation. But it was very surreal to be like, oh, what a kind thing

they're reaching out. And then to all of a sudden start talking about a muscle place in Culver City. I was like, oh, I'm going to wrap this up. Because I think in the in the version of this where it's like a potential meat cute, like a staged

meat cute that is so absurd. It's a literal plot point in an Adam Sandler movie. But in the, I don't even know that I, I would try it as a meat cute if it wasn't staged. Like if I had, if I was a single parent and my kid got away from me and the kid was rescued by someone else, I don't think that I come off great in that scenario, great enough that like you my hero would want to see me again. I don't think that's me putting my best foot forward.

Even if I thought the person who rescued my child was, was in fact very brave and attractive. I think I would be like, damn, I wish I'd met them under literally any other circumstance beyond this one where I've lost track of my kid and then didn't look at my phone and clearly wasn't being proactive about finding the kid. again.

Yes. I'm with you on that. But I also anticipate that if you are a single mom, yeah, mom, going on dates and like you're kind of interested in finding somebody and you're

encountering all these people who just are the worst. Encouting a lot of people that are truly bad. And then you meet somebody who has done an altruistic thing for you. and like had the presence of mind to notice first of all that your kid needed help and then to help them you have a son who's about the same age he has a son who's about the same age you'd be like I'd like to at least know who this person is like to get to know him and wouldn't that be a fun story later man no no it wouldn't well we think so because we went on yeah you got you got together and got some Muscles at a good muscles place. That's fucking insane, by the way.

It's so happy to hear an East Coaster say that because I was like, this is just a language from a different place. I just don't understand it. But like, maybe people in Jersey are like, I've got to get some good muscles. No, anything. Oysters. Oysters are like there are places that you go to for oysters. Okay. And oysters are also horny.

It's a horny food. So I understand if it's like, hey, I want to, I don't understand if they want it to put the idea of horniness in your head. And I would understand the idea of singling out a place as being specifically good for oysters, because that's a social thing that people do. And there are plenty of bars and restaurants that will advertise oysters as a selling point. no one as far as I know is like come try our muscles you gotta get a load of our muscles

I should have been like yeah bitch I know it's called LA Fitness I'm there all the time I think that certainly would have would have stopped the conversation for sure I'm gonna write it now because that's actually yeah just like that don't change the thing yep bitch yeah bitch should I do should I make it the kind of text that explodes I think that yeah yeah I think that word is I think that's cool. That word like pulses.

Word gets like bigger. Do you have any control over that in your text, by the way? I do not. I do it? Yeah, I must because I do it every once in a while by accident. And I'm like, I don't know what happened there. That's what I mean by control. Every once in a while, my word will just, like, I'll look back at my text and I'll see that the words shake and then shatter.

And I'm like, uh, I don't know how that happened. Huge thank you. And then the huge would get really big. And I'm like, I don't think. I don't think my neighbor. to think I'm that enthusiastic about thanking him for putting a package on the side of my porch while I was away. Yeah. We talked about this on the podcast before about texting, I think, has gotten intentionally worse.

You do too. It's a conspiracy. It also, as I'm texting, it'll start to anticipate an emoji. I've never used an emoji on purpose in my life, except as a joke. And it will start to anticipate what emoji I might be talking about. and then if I'm like fumbling around, I'm accidentally pushing that emoji. I already wrote the fucking word.

I already wrote Rocket. And then all of a sudden there's going to be a rocket there. And it's humiliating if I send that. I have to go back through and edit the text all over because now I've got stupid emoji that's not even adding anything. It's just redundant. And it's not how you talk. That's not your voice.

No. Well, I think we saved this one. Yeah, it really turned around. We were on each of his team. The way that you save that child and the way that I am trained to save many lives. I did. I've had circumstances, Dan, where I've had to turn my toddler, my daughter, over on my arm, my forearm, and then slap her in the back until something popped out of her mouth.

Yeah. And that's, I talk about how cathartic it is to see your child burp. That is so much better. I bet. Get that shit out of there? You could ride that high for like a week. But yeah, seeing her kind of like panic and, like, being unable to breathe and you just pop your kid over on your

whole arm and slap him on the back? I was surprised that one of the CPR scenarios was this person is choking and you still do the CPR and like it makes intuitive sense to me that was like, oh yeah, well the chest compressions are to keep the blood pumping to get oxygen flowing through the blood and if you're not breathing through your mouth and you're not getting oxygen. But I just feel like if

someone's choking, your main thing should be getting the food out of the hole there. But these people really love these people. They love the CPR. They're paid for big CER. They got a bunch, they got matching tech vests, and they got a bunch of swag. So I think they're just in it. We saw a guy when we were in Vegas. Maybe I talked about this on the podcast.

We saw a guy get the Highland maneuver. Well, two of us did. It was wild. It's absolutely wild. We didn't know what was going on. We thought it was a joke at first. And then this guy threw up. Oh, yeah.

Holy shit. Speaking of jokes, I wish I knew the real one, but I can't, I don't think it's going to matter. I think I'm old enough now that it doesn't matter. But they were clear in the CPR class. They were like, this used to be called the Heimlich maneuver. We don't call it that anymore. It's the same maneuver, but like they were alluding to this possibility that Heimlich had been canceled. And I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

But I really like the idea of that. That someone was just like, we can't. We saw Heimlich's tweets and we've got to call it something else now. We're not using him. It's just the maneuver now. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you everybody for listening.

This is a quick question with Sorna Daniel, but you knew that. If you liked our theme song, that's by me, Rex, but you knew that. If you like this podcast, generally, you want a video version that's on YouTube. You knew that too. If you want to get more of this podcast, you can subscribe to be one of our Patreon subscribers. Give us a little bit of money, a little bit of kickback. Let us wet our beak. and we'll give you a little bit more of that content you crave.

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