Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Everybody's Doing This to Me (Deconstructing Joey Swoll + Improv Games??) | Quick Question Ep. 294

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Your favorite fitness influencers Soren & Daniel share their thoughts on the crash out of Joey Swoll. Soren walks us through the downfall of the Jefe of Gym Etiquette, Daniel recounts a misleading “no beginners” run with a park ranger, and both men rediscover their passion for live performance… by way of Good Friend Soren Bowie's good faith attempt to surprise Daniel with an improv game.

I've got a quick quick question for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we can talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? Who do I be? Do you remember?

Words without words Word at all, but you got to be nice Oh forget it I saw a movie, remember? Words without words, word and order You've got to be nice Oh forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll the great Soren here.

We're back on the show. It's quick question. It's the show with Soren and Daniel. Soren is a writer for American Dad. I'm Daniel. I'm a writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. Boo. And we are talking, we're talking podcast stuff.

Soren, I want wanna get right into it. We're talking podcast. I love our fucking filler. I love that both of us do that. Actually it makes me very happy that you do it too. When I'm like trying to transition and I'm like not really listening to what I'm saying, the things I say are incredible.

And we, neither of us are generous about it because like, if you were talking and there's some filler, like the generous thing for me to do would be to just let you sort of go and then chime in, but I'm gonna seize on it like a hawk and you do the same. I will live there for you. I will live in that space. I will live there and I will point to it every time you go past it again.

Yeah. We record this podcast for your ears, but also you can watch it on YouTube with your eyes. Because I'm a worm, sometimes I read the comments on YouTube and soren in our last episode, I was wearing a sleeveless Toon Squad jersey. Yes, that's right. And someone in the comments said that I was on gear, which first of all, I had to Google. Yeah, I don't know what that means.

Second of all, it means steroids. They said I was on gear and trying to show off my arms. And I guess third of all, I'm not. They said I was on gear and trying to show off my arms. And I guess third of all, I'm not. And fourth of all, I don't think, I mean, I'll take it. I don't think my arms looked that good. I don't think- It's hard to say when people are like, when people ask if you're on steroids, because

you got, is the response like, oh my God, that's so kind of you? No, it's not. Or is it, well, hold hold on give me the exact details of why you think I'm on steroids is all this for hideous back acne I have yeah right it's a doctor who's like oh no this has nothing to do with your arms it's your weird neck that's a side effect of steroids that I study well so and then the other thing I'm curious about is the etymology of that word. On gear? Yeah.

Yeah. Because first, I think in my brain, I don't know where it comes from, but I thought gear meant heroin. And that's why I had to Google it because I was, because somewhere, something in my memory was like being on gear means You're on heroin. It's like one of those heroin slangs like like GAC where it's just like They all jumble in my in my brain together from my time on the streets was back one of them. Yeah That's cool. Yeah, it was a heroin slang and it was about to chime in on this

so gear is referring to heroin, if I remember correctly, but I think it's in kind of a general sense. And it's in the same way that for steroids it's kind of interesting. It's like, this is just considered part of your equipment. If you're an athlete, this is like your bat or your bat. Oh, that's interesting. But it was also heroin?

Because it was just part of like, when you get dressed in the morning, you'd put on your clothes and you put on your heroin. Yeah, here's all my gear. That's so kind of athletes to themselves. That's just an alcoholic sneaking in booze and being like, oh, I just got my juice. Just got my little pick me up.

I, the only reason that I know gag as heroin is that I was reading some, probably the oral history of Nickelodeon might've been the oral history of Doubledare and how like the creators behind, a lot of the people who worked on early Nickelodeon stuff, it was incredibly punk rock weirdos who were behind Nickelodeon.

What? And they were so stoked that the slime that was used in Double Dare and a lot of other Nickelodeon shows was officially called Gack and they sold Gack for a while. And they were so pumped that they snuck in a heroin slang into their network of children's shows. That's how I know.

That's- If anyone was wondering what is the most disappointing way that a person can learn the GAC slang term for heroin It's the oral history of Nickelodeon. It's yeah, I mean, no, I'm obviously Really a deep dive. That's meeting there fascinating smart people funny Irreverent people like Dan Schneider starting Nickelodeon I'm behind

I'm behind all of them. I love how Brock what he did. Running around behind young starlets, shouting, got, got, got, got. Oh brother. That's what I wanted to talk about. I have something actually that I want to talk about based on that. I wasn't going to talk about this

because I'm worried it sort of glances against politics, but I think it is also very interesting. Daniel, do you know who Joey Swole is? Joey Swole, no. I can, I would guess a fitness slash wellness influencer who's probably big in the Maha movement. Guess a fitness slash wellness influencer who's probably big in the MAHA movement? Okay, you're not too far off. I think I might've swayed you in a different direction

only because of the way that I did my little preamble of that. I don't think he's MAGA at all. I think that he is, he is a fitness influencer. He's, is it MAHA? Sorry to jump in here, Sorin. MAHA, Make America Healthy Again, is Robert F. Kennedy's whole deal,

and it's a pretty big tent that includes fitness and wellness influencers, as well as anti-vaxxers and racists. So, those kinds of big tents. We're not too far off because, so Joey Swole is a social media influencer. I think he's pretty big on Instagram. Obviously, as always, I catch all of this downstream

on my preferred platform, Facebook. Hell yeah. And I go into Facebook Reels and I just flip through it like I'm changing channels and cable. And Joey Swole has come across my page every once in a while, and he's a guy who is essentially, I think his job is he is the arbiter of etiquette at the gym. Like that's what he's decided his job is.

So, first of all, let me give you, like, let me just back up. He's like a ripped dude, very, very strong. Strong to the point that it's funny looking, you know? Okay. Like somebody who's so strong that when you see their whole body, you're like, uh, so, is this AI?

What am I looking at? Oh yeah, look at that. Look at that tiny head on top of all that muscle. He has these piercing kind of green eyes that I find very troubling. For no other reason than they are similar to my eye color. I don't know. I'd have to look into like why.

Anyone who has that type of like soft green, I'm like, oh, fuck this person. He has a little shaved in his eyebrow, I think, could be a scar, but like, I'm just giving you like a sense of what this guy looks like. Always a backwards hat, always a tank top and is a fitness advocate, obviously, and is like, has always been, I would say,

steered on the side of like helping people at the gym. He's about inspiring people, he's about like anytime that what he does is he finds footage of somebody will take footage when they're at the gym and they're like look at this creeper looking at me while I'm at the gym and he's like hey that guy didn't look at you once in that video I think I leave everybody alone like you're gonna put that guy on blast and he doesn't even know it like leave that guy alone. Same with other, there's guys who are taking pictures

themselves in the bathroom and someone will walk through a frame and they'll say, hey, can you turn that camera off? And the person won't, he'd be like, we don't do this. And so he's like, he's fighting what he considers the good fight on behalf of the gym. Sure. I don't think he's wrong most of the time.

He's doing this in person or he is like putting up a clip and he's a talking head about it. He's just blasting people. He's saying, people are saying, this is wrong. And he's saying, no, you're doing it wrong. Okay. There's a lot of that. And then he talks about how you should be inspiring to everybody at the gym.

These are the reasons nobody wants to come to the gym. Like he's got like this big ethos around gym culture and how to make it better. And in a lot of ways, I agree with him on that front. Now, he got in a lot of hot water recently and has since quit social media. This guy who had like, this is his whole career. His whole career is this.

Now, when I tell you how he got into hot water. You tell me at what point you no longer side with Joey Swole. Oh boy. When Hulk Hogan died, he did a tribute video. There was no, he didn't talk about him at all. He went to the gym dressed up as the Hulkster, like full Boas, like red and yellow Boa, a fake mustache, the bandana.

And it's just him doing curls at the gym as the Hulkster. And there's like a camera kind of swirling around him. Okay. You're right so far, he's still on board. I mean, it's tough for the purposes of this hypothetical. I was never on board. So now I have to pick what I think is the second most outrageous thing that I think he's going to do.

I'm waiting in the weeds for my correct moment. So he is obviously within that juice culture. Maybe that's derogatory to say, but that, that Jews culture, just meatheads, meatheads are so taken with one another. And I think everybody kind of knows that. Like everybody, all these guys who are very strong love other strong guys because they know, I assume because they know the amount of work that goes into it, they appreciate what the other person has done.

They're basically just like, hey, I see what you're doing. And like, they want to be friends. And they all have that kind of vernacular that Hulk Hogan seems to have invented of like, calling each other brother. Yeah. And like, you know these guys. There's one at every gym.

We used to have one at our old gym when we went to together. His name was Hawk because he was a gladiator. He had been a gladiator. I thought you were going to talk about, I thought you were going to mention Keith, because Keith felt so strongly about, because there were two Keiths in our gym that we both knew pretty well, and we needed to distinguish them. And so there was Keith and Douche Keith. And that was how we knew. That was a product of him being pretty young too.

He was young and then got strong all of a sudden. And I think that that can really mess somebody up. That's like being a star early on in your life where you're like, it changes you fundamentally in your brain. But Keith didn't have the language and stuff that goes along with this. So Joey Swole is, he's got that kind of like gym bro mentality. And really, I think it's one point had met Hulk Hogan and Hulk Hogan was very kind to him in his journey and everything.

And he has since had like a real admiration for him. But everybody obviously came for Joey Swole when they're like, hey, you talk about not being a shit head at the gym and here you are dressed as Hulk Hogan, who used the N-word several times. Yeah. What are you doing? And so he made a rebuttal video essentially where he said,

I'm okay, I'm going to paraphrase, but please know that this is Joey Swole talking and not me. Okay, Joey Swoll goes like this. He says, I don't know what the big deal is. So I can't have admiration for a guy who has clearly changed the entire institution of working out. So what if maybe 20 years ago,

he might've said something weird? I don't even know, that's what I've heard. I've heard 20 years ago he said something crazy. And we all make mistakes. I'm not God. I can't decide who's good and who's bad. But he was kind to me. And if you're going to come for me for this, you've got to come for all the other colored athletes who also supported him." End quote. Wow. So a lot to unpack, right? A crazy new wrinkle to this development.

Yeah. May I? Go ahead. May I seize on other for a moment? Yes. If I'm going to pick a word as my starting point. This is a nice ramp up because obviously it's not the worst word he used. No. But we are in a zone where it's like, hold on, there's a lot of grapes I have,

so let's just start at the easy one. Yeah. Other athletes. Right. So considers himself, I don't think he considers himself a minority, but I think he does consider himself an athlete, which is very funny to me,

because it's clear that he doesn't know what his job is. He doesn't know that, like, social media is what made him his money. Right. But yeah, he very much considers himself an athlete, I think, and then was mad that everybody came for him, and not for, I think that there were probably, and I assume, other weightlifters or something

that also said a lot of kind things about Hulk Hogan who were maybe minorities. Got it. And was mad that that had happened, that they're not coming for them too, that he feels very singled out. But used a word that has not, this man is 39 years old,

a word that has not been in the vernacular for 57 years. Since like the civil rights movement has this word been in the vernacular. I don't even know if it's a word that racists use anymore. I think I just like double down on the worst words. I don't even know if it's a word that racists use anymore. I think racist like double down on the worst words. And this is one that we've just sort of, we've all collectively said goodbye to and good riddance to. Yes.

At work. This is one of those circumstances where he did something he shouldn't have done. He could have just let it blow over, but instead he doubled down and boy, a doubling doesn't even feel right. He really just like, you don't think I can dig this hole deeper?

Watch me, watch me if I can dig that, I'm so strong. And said that and everybody lost it. Everybody was like, what are you doing? And oh, Hulk Hogan's one of your heroes? Oh, interesting. I guess I couldn't have predicted that. And people were very upset for obvious reasons. And let's see, I'm trying to think of where that stands now.

Oh, then after that, he was like, I've tried to do so much for so many people. I've tried to help everybody through the years. I'm not racist. I helped a black woman get a gym membership and this sucks. This sucks that everybody's doing this to me. I'm quitting social media.

I guess it's true what they say. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Ah, boy. So he quoted Harvey Dent. But that's such like a gym Culture bro thing to do of like, I've heard this quote somewhere, surely George Washington or somebody said it.

And so he quit social media. Now, he since I think walked this back a little bit because people are like, no, Joey, you helped so many people. What are you doing? And he's like, I just, I don't know. Maybe I'll be back later, but I gotta get my head right. And I think he's kind of trying to let this blow over and then we'll come back.

But, cause it's his career. He doesn't have anything else going on, I don't think. Maybe he's a professional weightlifter in some capacity, but I don't even think that that's true. I think this is all like aesthetic for him. Yeah. All of that is all like aesthetic for him. Yeah. All of that is very, very bad. I mean, it's social media is not the problem here,

but it's such a magnifying glass of problems. Like 25 years ago, this Joey Swole was just a guy I'm trying to say 25 years ago, this Joey Swole was just a guy who was supposed to get fired from his job at the gym or his job at the bar where he's a bouncer. And then he was supposed to go home and tell his buddies, I got fired because my boss doesn't have a sense of humor. That's where it was supposed to end.

And then he was supposed to find another job somewhere else. But now it's social media at times and he's a star and he's now a victim of cancel culture, gone amuck. And like, again, in this hypothetical where as 25 years ago, he gets fired because he's an idiot and he doesn't know, he doesn't have a good enough sense to know why what he did was wrong, but it's not going to affect other people. He'll just find another job where that's okay. But now everything is so heightened that he is just another piece of evidence for this culture war to keep going and self-perpetuating. And I'm sure he'll end up on all of the Manosphere podcasts

and he'll be a rising star because somehow they need more of those. I don't know, it seems like there's too many. I think you're right. I think that is the natural trajectory of things. But this guy has spent so much time advocating on behalf of women in the gym that I'm like, he should know better.

I think that one event isn't gonna change all of that. But he clearly doesn't know as much about race. And so I think this is maybe a learning opportunity for all of us, for him and us. I'm gonna give you one more little detail about this guy that really might throw you. Good friends with Dan Bilzerian, I'm pretty sure. Who?

Oh, oh boy. You don't know Dan Bilzerian. That's right. That's what who was meant to convey. Okay. Boy, this is going to be way harder to explain. Dan Bilzerian is a guy, also, I would assume, just a social media influencer,

though I think he might also be a motivational speaker. I don't know enough about him, but he is very anti-Semitic. He is a guy who likes to take a lot of videos of him being like, just working on my book. And it's him at an empty desk with one page and a pencil. And then two beautiful women in bikinis sitting on the desk with him. His whole ethos is like, you surround yourself with beauty

and you surround yourself with these gorgeous women. And so I think he's paying a lot of young women to be in bathing suits around him at all times to make it look like his lifestyle is something that's achievable and something that other men might want. He's also very strong. He's a meathead. They just can't get enough of each other. This was a friendship that was supposed to surprise me?

Well, I don't know that I did enough front-loading with Joey Swole to tell you, like, how much he seemed to be an advocate of the right things in the gym, like, early on. Like, it seemed like he was trying to really stand up for people in the gym and be like, let's make this a positive experience, let's make this good for everybody. And being, seeing somebody who's strong, who gives a shit about anybody else at the gym was a surprise and He was really trying to make it a good experience seemed like But he's got he's there's some other elements of him there. I'm like, oh You may not be the type of person. I thought you were yeah, I think I would need

Need to have seen more examples because the idea of someone making the gym a better experience doesn't immediately scan as positive because I'd need to know what their definition of a better experience is, you know, like, I don't know exactly whose side he's on in the gym. Because you were just saying that like someone was taking pictures in the gym bathroom and someone walked by and he popped up in TikTok and said, Hey, we don't do that. I don't know which thing in that scenario he is against. Oh, you don't. Okay, so somebody was taking videos in the gym

and somebody else walked by and said, please turn that off and the person would not. And so he came in, in the stitch, then Joey Swilcombe says like, hey, stop taking videos in the gym bathroom. Stop taking pictures in the gym bathroom. People don't wanna be seen in the gym bathroom. This is a huge invasion of privacy. And he talks about it in the gym bathroom. People don't want to be seen in the gym bathroom. This is a huge invasion of privacy.

And he talks about it in the gym too. He's like, if you're going to do videos in your gym and your gym does allow it, then at least be respectful of everybody else around you. If somebody walks through your scene, don't throw your weights on the ground because you're upset because somebody walked in front of your camera. And he's like, he's always on the side of respect,

respecting everybody else who's using that same space as you. So in a lot of ways, like he would say things, I'd be like, yep, you're right, you're right, you're right. And then, and then now I don't say that anymore. Sure. Dan Bilzerian, just to give you another clue. This is a guy who claimed for a very long time that he was a Navy SEAL,

never in the military whatsoever. Wonderful. Yeah. What a very easily provable lie. What a needlessly bad spot to put yourself in. I mean, I guess that's the situation where you go, I can't tell anyone that's the thing. The operations that we did, no one ever will know about.

Maybe they'll unseal it in 40 or 50 years when everybody's safe finally. But the things I did for the, they're not gonna take accountability for that. Sure. All right. I just wanted to keep you abreast of what's going on on Facebook and what I'm dealing with.

And poor Julie Swole canceled. I haven't told you about my current gym because I moved and moved from like a non-chain pretty small gym to an even smaller, less of a chain gym. And I'm very happy with this gym. It's very clearly like the weights that are there have just been accumulated over time.

There was never at any point, like a bulk order of matching weights with any kind of logos that match the gym to them and there's like a rack of dumbbells and then there are just milk crates of other dumbbells that have been donated or found. It's run exclusively by a guy and I guess when he dies the gym will close and I love it. I'm so thrilled to be there with the six other people that go to this gym. That sounds great. That's when I first came to LA, I was in a gym like that.

It was called, in Burbank, California, it was called Miami Fitness. And there were parrots there. Parrots? Yeah, parrots. And if you tried to touch them, they'd bite your finger and run by these three people who I'm pretty sure were all just coke heads.

Sure. And none of them got along. They'll fought all the time. You'd hear them yelling at each other in the gym. And it was just like, there were like 12 of us who worked out in this place called Miami Fitness. And it was the best gym I've ever been to. They close.

I don't know how I'd have to look it up. Nah, nah. Yeah, surely once I left there, the overhead was just too much. Margins would have raised her pin without me there. One other quick thing about my gym, and I'm sure I'm an asshole about this, but there was an advertisement in my gym for run with a park ranger. And I was excited about this because I was gonna run with a group

and I like running with a group every once in a while. We live near a park, shout out Sandy Hook, New Jersey. That's the Sandy Hook where there wasn't a shooting. That's the Sandy Hook where there's a beach. And the flyer specifically said, no beginners, The flyer specifically said, no beginners, which I never see on like every group run advertisement I've ever seen in my life has been- All inclusive.

All inclusive. Doesn't matter what your speed is, this is about fun. We're all gonna stick together. This one was no beginners. And I was like, this is nice. This will be challenging. It was 7 a.m. run with a Ranger and I was ready to be challenged and like dusted.

And there's a group of us there. And the Ranger starts by saying, is everyone, everyone comfortable with distance? And I was like, this is so fucking great. And I was like, yeah, we're comfortable with distance. And he said, great. So the way that I usually run is I, I'm trying to get faster in the back half of my runs.

So we'll start a little bit slow and then we're gonna pick up the pace. And I was excited about that too, because that's something that I also struggle with. I go really hard right out the gate and then sort of plateau. And on race day, it's always come to bite me in the ass because I have nothing left in the tank. I was like, this is gonna be good.

It's gonna get me out of my comfort zone. We're doing distance and we're gonna get faster as we go, which is not the way I run. I'm so pumped for this. We ran four miles, Soren, which is not what you and I would call distance. And I don't want to talk a lot of shit, but left to my own devices,

I am running comfortably sub eight miles. Wow. And we ran 10 minute miles. I was so unhappy. Unhappy that like I was texting my wife, you can tell this is a slow run because I can text you while I'm running. And she was like, oh, you poor thing.

Don't be. You guys in the sand? You're not in the sand, right? No, we're like, we're on a trail and we're like, well, like running through a beautiful Sandy Hook and everything. It's not quite a tour. If it was're on a trail and we're like, well, like running through a beautiful sandy hook and everything. It's not quite a tour, if it was more of a tour than I would understand, like, yeah,

we're just like sort of running and we're learning as we're going. But it was meant to be a run for non-beginners at distance and it was four miles at 10 minutes a mile. Was everybody else around you being like, what's going on? No, there were four of us at the front of the pack with the Ranger and then everyone else was not even with us.

They were way back with someone riding a bike. Okay, so 10-minute miles was tough for some of them. That was sure. Yeah. Not beginners, what? No. What a bait and switch. And that's where I don't know if I'm being insane with,

I don't know what normal casual running is, I guess, because I run a few races a year and I'm never a top three finisher of the race. I'm sometimes a top five finisher in my age group, depending on if I'm up there with the 45 year olds, that's when I could feel competitive. But like, you know, on race day, you're running with what I feel like are other runners,

but I don't know if someone who's running two or three times a week, if like what a normal pace is. And if I'm just being an asshole that I show up bummed about a 10 minute mile, because at the end of the day, I'm not like, we run 45 minutes total, that's still 45 minutes running. That's often because of my speed, that's often more time than I would ordinarily run on a given day. But it's just like, this day I

ran 45 minutes and that's a workout. This other day I'll run 40 minutes and it's five miles and a little change. And, you know, six and one half does not the other, I guess. You're asking, am I gifted? Am I gifted? Am I, no, no, no. Should I be in the Olympics? Yeah.

And I think, okay, so we talked to somebody who is- Am I perhaps on gear? No, but you're on fleet, Dan. Oh, sick. Don't let anyone tell you you're not. I talked to somebody who was gonna run a marathon. Shout out to Joel Hurwitz, who I work with, who is gonna run a marathon.

And when he was talking to me, he was probably, he was jogging at what I assume was probably like a 10, 10 minute pace. And he was like, the important thing when you're training for something this big is that you're, you can talk as you're doing it. And it's very easy to talk as you're running because otherwise you're going too fast. And like the biggest problem that everybody has, like if, even if you wanted to speed up your current run and get, you want, like right now you're sub eight, but if you

wanted to be like down at like 7 30 or something like that pretty consistently you go the other direction you're supposed to run really slowly but for a long long period of time and then you slowly work up towards it you don't try and sprint uh to get there and so he's explaining this to me as we're on treadmills and I am completely gassed and like running, I'm only planning to do like three miles but I'm like, holy shit, I can't, how are you talking right now? I was like, no, that's the whole point of it. The whole point is that you're supposed to be

at a rate where you're not so burnt out that you can't talk as you're doing it. And then you can go forever. I guess. Maybe that's what everyone's training for. Maybe you just came in the middle of it. Yeah. That sounds like shit though.

I don't think I would like that. It was really nice at your bachelor party. We all went for a run. We went for one of the most gorgeous runs I've ever been on where we- It was awesome. We were in the woods and then the woods opened up to the lake, to Lake Champlain.

Yeah. And you're just on a path that is just wide enough for two runners side by side, basically. It's so narrow. It was awesome. And you're surrounded by water. It was a really great run. Yeah. You head out onto the water and it's water on all sides and you're just on this strand

that goes all the way out. It was so cool. It was a very windy, kind of cool fall day. It was great. Easily top five run. But it was nice that everybody- Yeah, that nobody on the backseat party wants. And I really appreciated that my squad came through and ran or biked with us. Not only did they run. I mean, we all finished at different times, but everybody had a similar pace. They understood what the pace was going to be, that they either kept up with it or they were like, I'll peel off and go with the bikers. But like, even though then those people were not, were not like waiting around for them, everybody was of

a similar caliber there. It was great. I took out my camera to film because the run was so beautiful. And when you saw the camera out, you came to run and like getting the shot, being a very funny person. And I sent it to my dad and dad was like, soaring faster than you. I was like, God fucking damn it. No, I don't know. When I was on my way to the bathroom, I was listening Yeah. There was one point where I was like, listen guys, I'm going to run ahead and go pee. And I sprinted for like a mile ahead to go to the bathroom.

Well, okay, Daniel, I want to switch gears a little bit here. Hey, here. Yeah, a lot. We're on a new gear. And I want to talk to you about, there was a good portion of your life where you were an actor, where we would be at Cracked, we would write, and then we would perform in tons of sketches, sketches we didn't write,

sketches like, and we would go to Calgary or other Comic-Cons, and we would perform there, South by Southwest, we did sketch shows. And then, I don't remember the circumstances under which we all left cracked. It was a bunch of different things. But we all left cracked at some point. And that all dried up. You didn't ever do stand up again,

you didn't ever act again. Do you still feel like you want to or that the bug is still there? You want to or that the the bug is still there? Yeah, well well for starters I have Performed live In like half acting half stand-up for An indie late night show on YouTube

That is now called going down with Ellie Yermann, everyone should check that out. But they had me do a bit for them live a little while ago and part of me, yes, very much misses like live performance stuff and I get very excited doing it. Another part of me, I can recall being on that stage and like my hands shaking uncontrollably. And it was a situation where I wasn't wearing a mic

and didn't have a mic on a stand. I was seated and sharing a mic, passing it back and forth with a very funny comedian, Martin Urbano. And I would like hand him the mic whenever I could, just because I was doing everything in my power to not have my hands visible because I think they were like distractingly shaky if they were up. And the purpose of my role in that show, my bit was I was a hyper confident late night

writer coming into school this indie showcase. So I was like, well, I definitely can't shake and cry. So like the nerves are back in a way that I wasn't expecting because we had performed so much that that faded away over time. And I feel like it would take a lot of time again for me to stop my hands from shaking when I perform live. But I do miss it.

I would like, I don't know that acting in sketches is the thing for me. Is the scratch. But possibly a return to stand up or, you know, I'd love to do some live podcasts one of these days. If that were available, I think that's the best format for my particular, whatever it is that I'm good at.

Yeah, yeah, I see that. I see us doing a live podcast at some point. Yeah. Like in Akron, Ohio. Somewhere where like a real fan base lives. We'll find out where the 10 listeners are and we will go to them. We'll go there.

I think they're mostly concentrated in and around where my parents live and we will go there. Well- Why do you ask, Zorn? I ask because it's clearly a muscle and we will go there. Well why do you ask Zorn? I ask because it's clearly a muscle that we used to flex. It was something that we enjoyed and I would say we're good at it. Like when we would do after hours and stuff at the time it was just another thing that you would do but you go back and you watch it and you're like oh these are really funny

performances. These are good. Obviously nothing compared to Swain. Swain is like one of the best actors I've ever seen. He's such a good... He's so good at presentation. And, um, but it was something that we were really good at. So with that in mind, I've brought to you, Daniel, some improv scenarios that you're going to play along with with me.

And you're... Is this for real? You just have to go along with it. Listen, don't hurt yourself. Go like 40% here. Is there a hidden bit or is this, this is real? This is what you wanna do? I guess we're gonna see. So, you know, go like, well, we won't learn.

We're not gonna pull anything. We're older men now. We are going to go at like 40% to start. This is a 10 minute mile to begin. Okay. All right, so the scenario is, Daniel, you, we've just come back from recess at a trial in which you have just been found guilty of murder.

You have just been found guilty of murder. And now we're back. And while I deliberated on your sentencing as the judge. Are you ready? You're the judge. Okay. I'm the judge. Okay, everyone, welcome back. Please be seated.

Now, Mr. O'Brien, you stand accused of some pretty heinous acts. And I've had to think a long time about what... Did you do push-ups in the bathroom during the recess? Sorry, do I answer all the judge's questions? Can I object? Objection relevance? No, no.

Overruled. Did you do... It looks like you bulked up a little. Did you go into the, and you're sweaty. Did you spend the entire recess doing pushups in the bathroom? Yes, your honor. Why? In my defense, this is my first recess in a while and where I grew up, I don't know if this is regional, but recess was, it used to be like a very different, it was more physical the last time I did a recess. And so I was just going along with my experience being very physical and sweaty. It used to be, if I may, encouraged in a recess

to sort of get out the energy that I was frequently then and now. Let me stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you. Thank God. Daniel, it's working for you. Whatever you did. You look fantastic.

You know what? Wow. I'm exonerating you. I think that this is dessert. You are a go-getter. I love what you're doing. I love that you're spending this time. I was gonna give you the death penalty.

And you, I mean, you knew that. You knew you had that coming, right? Yeah. That was common for you. And the fact that you, I mean, you knew that. You knew you had that coming, right? Yeah. That was common for you. And the fact that you still want to keep your body in shape, I, and you know, it looks great. Hey. Hey. Court adjourned.

You're gonna call me a go-getter. Guilty, not for the, not for the stuff, but. Okay. All right, scene. Why didn't they do this? Because now I have another one for you., but okay. All right, scene. Why didn't they do this? Because now I have another one for you. Oh, no. Ready?

All right. All right. You are, you are, I'm just, these are little vignettes, Daniel. Okay. And I'm just setting you up and basically these are sketches I'll never write. And you don't have to do much here.

All right. I feel like I did most of the lifting in the last one in terms of finding something to play. Yeah, it's fun. Okay. All right. You are James Bond and you're here for your annual re-review. Are you ready? Sure.

Okay. So it looks like, wow, you've done quite a lot. Very impressive for this year. You saved England several times. You saved the world a few times. That's all very impressive. We've got lined up for you a 2% raise and then that should be it. Maybe some options as well. You can kind of

look that over and just sign it at your leisure. Our standard of living is three percent at least and that's to say nothing of my exemplary work. Oh, that's my Daniel Craig by the way. James, you understand the situation. We had to do a lot of new hires we had to make this year. You were so adamant about having more minorities on staff, and that's obviously a lot of our budget had to go there. Of course. I'm sorry, it's just we can't go higher than 2%. You did a great job.

I mean, you really knocked it out of the park, but 2% is pretty much all we can do. I find that hard to believe. I mean, you've got all this bloody money for, I don't want to say it, but DEI. It can take, surely we can take something from there, skimmy. Wow. Wow, what a suggestion. I'll rub some money pennies together.

Are you suggesting that we take money from them and give it to you? Wow, what a suggestion. I want you to rub some money pennies together. Are you suggesting that we take money from them and give it to you? Wow, James, wow. I'd like you to leave. Here's the next one, Daniel Pineda. So, and I'm so uncomfortable. Yeah, I know, I know, that's the whole point. I feel like this is, I feel like there's,

like I'm gonna find out that these scenarios, like you're secretly doing a personality quiz. And at the end of this, we're gonna find out there's something wrong with me. No, that would have been, that would have been a lot of work. Are we just playing improv games? You ready? Fuck.

Here's your next one. All right, you are one of the werewolves from Twilight. Rob games? Mm-hmm. You ready? Fuck. Here's your next one. All right. You are one of the werewolves from Twilight. Twilight. Okay. And I'm Bella. Swan?

Is that right? Yeah. Okay. And we're at a baby shower and this is your baby shower. You're a pregnant werewolf. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay, ready? Yeah. Okay, good.

Wow. So congratulations, first of all. That's amazing. Glad that we got some time to talk to each other. Thank you. I'm just kidding. We don't really talk like that. It's funny though.

It's good. I'm just curious. Oh, wow, you can smoke. Incredible. There's so much I'm learning every single day. Now, what you, I mean, you guys, you can choose when you turn into werewolves. That's pretty impressive.

And you get to sort of decide on your own when you do it. So there must be times where you're just like, really, like you're feeling something, it's going really well, and you just, like, what if I just turned it up a notch and became a werewolf, right? Uh-huh. Like at a race, say, or if like you're feeling, sometime when you really get your heart going,

you're really going for it. And you're like, wouldn't it be great if like maybe just one of us turned into a werewolf right now or maybe both of us? I'm assuming like you're with somebody else in this scenario. Does that, do you ever do that? There aren't a ton of races where it's just one of us. Yeah, okay.

And then, and it's like, say you were just with one of the, I mean, first of all, baby is so exciting. Baby, I don't know what the gestation's like or anything like that, but I'm very excited for you. I don't know if you do a litter or how that works. Would it? I don't either, I haven't seen the films, but Bella, I feel like you're dancing around something.

And I think as a pregnant mama alpha wolf, I think you should just get right to it. You know, don't- Do you sometimes, do you sometimes want to use a werewolf and want to use not when you fuck? Oh yeah, all the time. What are you kidding me?

Oh, that's so rad. That's so rad. If you could, like, when you fuck your weird, pale Victorian ghost freak of a boyfriend who's centuries older than you. Well, 60 years, 60 years, but. Mazel. Is that worse?

You switch positions from time to time, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. So you understand the concept of shaking things up. This gives you a much larger wheel of things to play with. Yeah. Boy wolf and girl wolf. Boy wolf and girl. Girl wolf and boy.

I guess it's not a pun of variety. I've run through most of them. Yeah, but I mean, the opportunities within each of those. There's like little facets I could really see being great. Yeah. That sounds wonderful. I guess I'm in. I guess is what I'm saying is I'm in.

What are you saying at my baby shower? I wanna fuck your husband. Oh, no thank you. That's fine. That's fine. Most people bring gifts. I'll go back to my vampire boyfriend. Yeah. That was the gift, but okay, that's fine. Or one of your children. That's fine. I could bond early with one of them and then when they grow up, I just kind of like groom them on the way. Bella Swan, this is so interesting because it seemed like there was like a real love

between you and Edward. It's always been deciding between, do I go vampire, do I go werewolf? Who do I want to have sex with? Right, but it seems in light of this, it seems like you're more interested in just sort of fringe off brand in many ways, illegal or unethical. It's like vampire, werewolf. And then this new wrench is baby wolf.

Yeah. Well, let me ask you something. Okay. Is there anybody else in the world that you know of that was excited to fall in love with a vampire or a werewolf? I already was on an iceberg by myself. Uh-huh.

You can't expect me to not get into some freaky shit. Okay, yeah. I think what we're learning at My Baby Shower is just that the boundaries of freaky shit have expanded in a way that I don't think anyone was expecting. Well, me neither. Hey, all right. Listen, I gotta head out.

Take this. This is obviously for the baby. Gotta head out. It was late to open it. It's a chit-choi. See ya. Peace. And then that's the end. Leave some data.

Take a shower early. We had a thank you invitation. Thank you for doing these sketches with me. This was not fun. What do you mean? Oh, I gave you a scenario in which you were a guy on trial who used his recess to go do some pushups in the bathroom. I was waiting, it's so tough.

Cause I'm trying to, here's the game of chess that I'm playing. Is I think that you're going to do something, a curtain is gonna get pulled down and you're gonna surprise me in some way. And I'm trying to outsmart you if that's the case, but I'm also thinking, what if it's not? I can't think too hard about that.

I also have to be a good improv scene partner. And it's a real conundrum. That's frankly too much thinking. And then I was doing accent work and I had that business with the cigarette that I didn't really think of beyond like, oh, it'd be funny if someone's smoking at their baby shower. You did great. That was a A plus performance. Oh, you know what it reminds me of? I think it would be really funny if you soar in buoy

at your age and in the year 2025. I think it'd be really funny if you started smoking cigarettes, like regularly just like became a smoker. No one has any plausible deniability if they start smoking now, like period, at any age. And if, just the idea of you leaving work for a smoke break to the shine of all of your coworkers. It's very funny to me. A dad of small children who picks up smoking is a very funny bit. Come on. And you're like, I know I should probably stop,

but I just started. All right, well, thank you for playing the game, Daniel. Thank you. This was weird. Yeah, it was weird and awful for you. I think that's what I hoped it would be. Okay. Which is good.

I was gonna say, this all came up because I was missing acting. This is the, I try to introduce this as the very worst version of it. Where it's no longer fun. It's not good for either of us. But the main reason that I miss acting is that I miss being on set

and being told what to do for 12 hours a day and not being responsible for anything beyond that. That I am handled like a child. I'm taken from place to space. People tell me when to eat. They tell me where to stand. They tell me when to do the thing. And I am not in charge of a single thing in my life for that day. And like I can't go anywhere. I can't do anything else like beyond the limitations of the set so I'm there just like finding a furniture pad to sleep on, looking at my phone and then they're like, hey, you gotta be on set and I'm like, okay, great. And then I just gotta go act for a little bit

and I love that, all those parts that I hated. Yeah, the parts you hated the most were the parts that I fell in love with. As I get up there, they're like, uh, makeup check. And then I just stand there and someone comes up and fusses over me. Oh, fusses over my face. And then a director tells me, yeah, you look good. And I go, thank you.

Thank you. No one's told me I look good in years, Daniel. You look great, Soren. Thanks, man. You don't mean that. I had to say it. I know. Actually, that's not true. I went to a bar recently and a woman told me she wanted to lick my teeth.

Yeah, that's right. Fuck you! Ah, alright. We've done enough, goodbye. I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? When did I beat your number? Words without words Word at all the Go to the end of the Oh forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien

Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time, yeah I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time

I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here.