Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Forgetful Dan

Episode Date: July 3, 2022

What an episode! the guys really get in to it with some questions and talking about their lives and catching up and what not. Definitely an episode! And as always big thanks to our sponsor. Thanks to Jiminy's sustainable dog food made with cricket protein. Save 25% on your first purchase, go to jiminys.com/QQ25 and use code QQ25 at checkout.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up with? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien When will I be remembered? Was it afterwards? Where did all that go? Did we not? Oh, forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien

Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and commentators ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am all business and one half of that podcast, senior writer for last week tonight with John Oliver, author of How to Fight Presidents and Man in Need of Help, Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host, Mr.

Soren Bui, my savior, perhaps. Say hello. Hey, everybody. I'm Soren Bui. I write for American Dad. I've lived in Los Angeles for the last 14 years of my life. I used to grow up in Colorado and I'm also going to try and be as fast as I possibly can. But the problem is that I can't keep up with my own words. So that's why you're getting like a weird version of where I grew up. This episode is brought to you by Jiminy's, maker of sustainable dog food made with cricket protein. That's right. Cricket protein is a superfood that is delicious, nutritious, and easy to digest for dogs.

Save 25% on your first purchase. Go to jiminy's.com slash QQ25 and use code QQ25 at checkout. Dan, that was so fast. That was so fast. It reminded me of the Micro Machines guy. Do you remember those commercials? Oh, yeah.

The Hot Wheels, right? Or Hot Wheels, sort of? Well, yeah. Micro Machines. Little cars. Okay. I didn't realize how far back I had to start. Yeah.

I thought you thought this was a Hot Wheels guy. No, he's a Micro Machines guy. But yes, they were the little cars. Okay. I didn't realize how far back I had to start. Yeah. I thought you thought this was a Hot Wheels guy. No, he's a Micro Machines guy. But yes, they were the little cars. Micro Machines were tiny cars that then also experimented with the idea of putting tinier cars in the tiny cars, which was obviously a big hit with me. I thought there was nothing better than that. But yeah, Micro Machines were a big deal. Did that not carry over to your age um they're

very familiar i think the thing that is most familiar about them is the micro machines guy who was just like a very unassuming looking man whose whose shtick was speaking very quickly right yeah i sound like an auctioneer and all the commercials while he was reading like ad copy now that i don't think i've seen a toy commercial in probably like 18 years i don't even know what they're like now but that was there was like an institution when you were a kid because during saturday morning cartoons they just pump you full of those those commercials and toy commercials had like a very specific flow to them and micro machines was like nope we're gonna go as fast as we fucking can we're gonna show you how fast these cars are because everything in this commercial is fast yeah john moshita jr also known as motor mouth john moshita and the fast talking guy

perfect yeah he looks like a thousand guys i've seen in my life yeah there was a period of time in the 80s when this was most guys. They just only had like three different models of guy in the 80s and he was one of the most popular ones. We weren't making different guys back then. People forget that. that would be worth thinking about. It would be worth thinking about who was like, give me the archetype for the 90s. Like who was the guy? Like who the guy that you see everywhere. And I feel like I could do that for really easily, just like off the top of my head for about 2010 to 2020. And it was the lead singer of LCD Sound System. Let me see what he looks like. James Murphy. Oh, yeah. James Murphy is somebody I think that there are probably 14 of him at my gym. You could just spot guess his exact year of birth it's so clear to me like i see him and i'm like

oh okay i know i know what time period we're in yeah i feel like you could do that for like every year i think you do that for the the easy to do that for the 80s and the 90s and now and then what i'm just so curious what the 20s guy is gonna be yeah i don't think i'm gonna like him and that's not a testament to him being bad. It's just I'm getting old. No, it's just the passage of time. Yeah. He's going to be wearing a cartoon T-shirt, which is like a new thing that I don't fucking get.

People like Mickey Mouse T-shirts that are earnest. And I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah. Out of here with that fucking shit. I was speaking fast. Yeah. Out of here with that fucking shit. I was speaking fast. It used to be really important to me to speak fast when I was doing my old show, Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder, I think because that's like a natural cadence for me is to go very fast. And commenters started to complain about how fast it was and and part of me wanted to troll them a little bit and but another part of me after just sort of getting not not bored with writing that show because i had fun with that one right until the end but just sort of like what is enough it became easy enough to do that show that i wanted to to like an asshole find more challenges for myself want

to make it fresh i thought like how what can i what can i do for me uh i'm gonna be like like one of the fast rappers like david diggs or sage francis but for reading copy about movies i'm gonna see how many words i can get in here which is like so i think it's clear that this coincides right around the time that I stopped having a boss who could talk to me because anyone with authority over me would be like, hey, this is just for you. And it's not, it doesn't make the thing better. It's only at best like an asterisk interesting fact that like, oh, did you know this is the fastest anyone has talked about Pinocchio? that like, oh, did you know this is the fastest anyone has talked about Pinocchio? That doesn't make the show better. It's only a little interesting. And in fact, I think it bothers people. It makes people very uncomfortable and anxious to watch someone talk as fast as you do. But I didn't have a boss. So I just did my circle jerk thing for myself.

Yeah. There were definitely times with my column where once I started to realize that the warden wasn't looking, where I was just like, well, let's see what I can do and just try a bunch of things. Sometimes I'd land on stuff where I'd be like, oh, this is fun. This is really good. And other times, like, I look back on that stuff and I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, well, I was really trying something here. It's like four levels deep into who is actually writing this thing. And at the end of the year, when I get my reviews, like, well, at one point Jack was like, I feel like you're just never really get a handle on the point you're making in an article. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Sorry, Jack. I could write

with a handle, but like, the point of this article is that I wrote it backwards. No one can tell, but like, it was an interesting writer challenge for me. I think if you evaluated on this, on this, uh, rubric that no one, uh, could possibly know about, I think you'll agree. It's a, it's quite an accomplishment. Like in my current job, like this last episode that I wrote, there's a, In my current job, this last episode that I wrote, there's a moment where somebody has to be... What I wanted was for someone to be basically groaning SOS and the Morse code of SOS. So it's three short, three long, three short.

You're familiar with Morse code, right? But I wanted it to be... I thought it would be fun to think of it as a as a song and like, what would be like a song? If somebody heard this groaning, they could be like, that's a song. In the same way, we're like, when a crow is like, you can go, tainted love, like you would like sing along to it afterwards. And I was like, so I'm like, it's the most impossible challenge in the world to try and find that because nobody's written that down.

Like there are even people who do songs that are called sos like the police they're not also thinking what if we just came up with our brand new time signature that doesn't exist right and uh so i'm like racking my brain like searching the internet for something that does not fucking matter and finally i find this song and i put it in there and by the time we get to like the rewrite i i'm trying to explain this to my boss and he's like, don't, don't do that. People were genuinely mad at me because I found, so if I could turn back time. So it's, if I could turn back time, that's three, it's one, two, three, and then long,

long, long. If I could find some way, it's in morse code basically and uh and i was so excited and like when we got to it in the moment the table he's like does it have to be a song i'm like yes and here's the reason i start like giving the reason he's like no and everyone else in the room is like mad too like it just did not play and it and i was like who was this for it was just for me yeah i wrote an alt joke in one of my most recent drafts that didn't make it into the show with good reason. And it's because I wrote the joke as a haiku and then like talked about it being a haiku

later. Like here's a joke and then here's me making sure that you knew that this was a haiku. And even as I was like submitting it, I thought my bosses are going to think I have too much time. They're going to give me more work. They're going to, they're going to think I'm bored or something. Yeah. It doesn't, if you're not in the room to like make that smile that you, your signature Daniel smile after you think you've done a very clever joke. Yeah. Then no one actually knows. Like it just glosses over everyone. You need to be able to like tell the joke and then do that.

Like, did everyone catch that? Did everyone hear what I just did? Right. So everyone can then go, uh, yeah. And that's what, like, that's where you live. That's what you were dreaming of. Is that nice? Whatever, what every comedian craves from their audience.

Yeah. That's clever, I guess. Okay. I see the work that you did. I'm like, thank you. That's what I was going for. If I could pick the one thing that's like my Achilles heel with comedy, it's that I don't know the difference between funny and clever. It's so like, I will try and do something very clever. And then when it, even if people notice it, they're like, yeah, but it,

so what? It's not, it didn't give me a visceral reaction. I didn't laugh at it. Right. I can tell. It's just something clever you did. I can't,

if an audience doesn't laugh at something and then I explain afterwards, okay, but the thing you have to understand is I spent a lot of time on this. They're not going to suddenly burst out laughing like, oh, this was an evening? Yeah. You'll find that with my comedy, the very best jokes are the ones that I then have to explain for five minutes. But the reason I was speaking fast at the beginning of this podcast is because I don't know if you recall,

but I said I was a man in need of help so I do I need help coming up with a new word or phrase to describe a very specific problem I'm having oh so happy about this I don't know if it's ever happened to you but I am doing something consistently specifically wrong for the first time. So I'll explain it literally what it is. I have my spot where my keys go every day and I put them in the same spot and I've never had a problem with it before. And for the last two weeks, I keep not doing it. And I don't know, it's become such muscle memory and nothing about my home or my world has changed, but I keep losing my fucking keys. And sometimes the most common place they've been have been the pocket of my running shorts, which are then in the washing machine. So that's now the first

place I look when my keys aren't where they're supposed to be. And I would say six out of 10 times, that's where they are. But the other four are just random spots in the house where I've just put them down where I never put them down before. And again, this is like, this is a new problem after I was batting a thousand for the first six months of living here. And I want like, because the keys is a new problem, but the suddenly getting something wrong for the first time and then doing it repeatedly, that is not a new occurrence to me. That's happened before where it's like, man, for a week there, I was forgetting to close the fridge, even though I've never struggled with that before. And then for like a week, I wasn't closing it properly over and over again. It's

weird that I suddenly have this glitch. God, this is so familiar in that I think, so we used to do these articles on like words that English steal from other languages where like they just have a word for this type of thing and I think that there was one in Russian that was like he was like he who keeps stepping on the same rake that was

like what it translated to and it was just like somebody who keeps fucking up in the very specific same way over and over again, despite themselves. I don't remember what it was, though. I didn't hear anything you said after someone who keeps fucking up in a very... Oh, somebody keeps fucking up in the same way over and over again, despite themselves. But I can't remember what the word was. Or if it was even Russian or if I'm just making this up.

Is this a thing that's happened to you before? I feel like it's not. Yes. I know it's not just me. There's a throwaway joke in the show Scrubs where Zach Braff is talking or JD is talking about how once a year, every year, I put my wristwatch on the wrong hand. And that is definitely not never on the wrong hand, but like every once in a while, I will just not have my watch on me when I leave the house.

And I'm like, oh man, that's the first time I've done that. And then it's like the first time somebody ran under a five minute mile because then it happened over and over again after that. Yeah. I do have a similar thing where i i frequently especially when we're going on flights i have to be really careful and now colleen even knows to remind me i will leave my phone and i don't know why i think it has to do with like i pack a bag and instead of just having the things in my pockets that i expect i put everything in my backpack and maybe just assume

that it's there but there have been several instances where i'm panicked flying back to the house to get my phone uh before the plane leaves and it's i don't know why i do it it's so bizarre because it's the kind of like it's phone especially it's like it's hard to leave your phone anywhere. Yeah. The minute it's not in my pocket, I'm uneven. I immediately notice something is weird. I feel like I'm missing something. And for some reason, when I'm like, we're going to get on a plane, all bets are off. Everything's going to feel different. And so I just don't expect it.

And get to the airport, sometimes get to the shuttle. Sometimes we get to just our parking. And I'm like, I fucking did it again get to the airport. Sometimes it gets to the, like the shuttle. Sometimes we get to just our parking and I'm like, I fucking did it again. I forgot it. It makes it very hard then for me to chastise my children when they're like absent-minded and they forget something. When my son doesn't remember something. At any point you can throw this shit back in my face.

I found a very helpful, uh helpful insane person hack for myself. Whenever I'm on vacation, I would always start the vacation with like, well, I don't need, I'm staying in a hotel and I'm in a different state or different country even. I don't need my keys that I carry with me everywhere. So I'm just going to put them in my suitcase and I won't need them again until it's time to go home. And I would be incredibly anxious anytime I left my hotel because I would like pat my pockets for the things

like phone, wallet, keys. And I felt such an imbalance that now I just carry my keys. Fuck it. I carry my keys with me. I'm having a better time. It's just in Canada carrying keys around. You can't open a single thing in the entire country.

It is really freeing when I'm on vacation and I don't have things in my pocket where I'm like, holy shit, I'm a lighter person. Yeah. Out here in the world. But there's that kind of uneasiness to it as well. And I will say that anytime that I've ever parked somewhere to go get on a flight and they give me a little ticket and you're like, you need those tickets. Somehow the systems have not come up with technology

where you're like, oh, I can just look you up by name or whatever. No, when you get back and you don't have your parking ticket, you're fucked. And so I will say that every single time that I've gotten one of those and thought I should keep this safe, it is by sheer luck that i've ever found it again yeah like i'll be like getting ready to leave that day at the air like to go back home and packing and being like oh fuck here's this thing crumpled up at the bottom oh i'm gonna need this i uh very similarly will very deliberately i need to keep this ticket safe so I put it somewhere

safe so I don't have to think about it and then I check it several thousand times like there's no it doesn't matter what I do I'm still it's still going to be a thing that weighs on my brain this happened this week a bunch of the writers

got together in person to just like hang out and have dinner in New York. So I drove into the city and put my car in a parking garage and took a ticket, put it in my, like very clear mind. I take this ticket. I'm going to put it in my wallet. It will live in the wallet forever. It's, it's tight in there. It's never coming out. And then I'm going to put the wallet in my pocket. And then I had some time to kill walking around the city. So I took my wallet out a few times to look and confirm that the ticket was there. And even like sitting at dinner in the middle of a conversation with someone being like, yeah, no, totally.

Hold on one second. I have to go look at and stare at my wallet. Yeah, it's there. It's still there. Okay. Nothing about this conversation prompted me to do that. But like, I wouldn't be able to hear you if I didn't check this right now. Yeah. There, there it is. All right. Looks good. Um, when I was in, uh, let me, let me get my,

um, hoity toity hat on for a second. When I traveled abroad, Daniel, I was in England and I thought when you were eating peanut butter passed out on a bench? Yeah. Either a little before or a little after. It's circa. And so I joined the Ultimate Frisbee team there. And they don't take it very seriously, but they do take drinking very seriously. And I was way out of my league. They were drinking a lot. And at the time, I was young enough that I didn't recognize this as a red flag, but they would expect me to drink an awful lot. And so I was drinking quite a bit while I was in England with this team. And it got to the point where I also had a phone when I was there.

And that was the first cell phone I'd ever had. When I was in college, like there wasn't really a need for it or they didn't exist. I can't remember which. And finally I had like, I needed a cell phone while I was there. And so I had this piece of shit, giant brick of a cell phone while I was there and so I had this piece of shit giant brick of a cell phone and I'm constantly losing it I would find it there was one night at a there there's some like club party and I started looking for it and found it in the trash in pieces like someone had either it had smashed and someone cleaned it up or someone had seen it was like

fuck this thing and just smashed it but it's still it was a, fuck this thing and just smashed it. But it's still, it was a tank too. So I could just put it back together and put like the rubber sheet of buttons back in and. Sure. And just smash it all back together. And it worked and it got to the point where I was like losing it so frequently when I was drunk that I eventually came up with the ingenious solution where I got Scott, um, Velcro and I put some of the Velcro on it and then I put velcro inside my pockets.

So when I had like my going out pants that had velcro in the pockets and so I could put the phone in the pockets, but velcro is like, it's got some gauge to it. So even just being my jeans, you just see the stripe on either leg in my jeans what's that they're like oh funny story i'm a complete drunk and i can't control myself and i can't take care of my own stuff so i have to velcro to my body is that how all americans dress nope just the ones that you need to stay away from yeah i love your accent. Where are you from? It was a mess. And this actually really worked to solve my problem. And at the time I thought everyone should be doing this. Now looking back on it, I can see that that was a real, that should have been a red flag as well.

Right. So funny. Like, man, I solved my problem and all I had to do was create several more problems. I couldn't, I learned from the first time that I couldn't, uh, I couldn't put those pants in the dryer because it would start to peel. Like it was hot enough. They would start to melt the stickiness. And so I had to go get more scotch tape. And then I was like, okay, these are the pants I just wash. And then I lay out and they dry on their own. And then I was like, okay, these are the pants I just wash. And then I lay out and they dry on their own. There's a whole other world of issues that I had to then contend with so that I was allowed to keep drinking to the point of blacking out. I got disastrously drunk at a bar in Los Angeles years ago and lost my phone in that bar and went to the DJ and different bartenders and kept giving them, uh, cause I also wanted to leave the bar. Like I was done with, with ever having a phone again. And I kept,

it was like, Hey, my name is Daniel. Uh, my phone is somewhere in here. I don't like no one's gonna be able to find it until the lights come out at the end of the day. Um, please call me when you find it. And I was giving them the number to my missing cell phone. And I'm sure the bartenders and DJs were very patiently explaining to me why that doesn't work as a plan. But that information was not registering for me. So I was just like, why won't anyone help me? Why is everyone so mean to me in this bar?

For some context for listeners, when Dan drinks and is drunk and then is at a place where he no longer wants to be, I mean, it's like turning on a switch, first of all. It's not a gradual process. And once he realizes it, he just runs away. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't like say, all right, well, I'll say my goodbyes now. He just runs away. Yeah. No, it's time to be in bed. Goodbye. There was a night where we had gone out drinking. I noticed you disappeared and I was like, I hope he's all right.

And so I called you and I think I caught you while you were running. Yeah. Because you're breathing very hard and then you fell. And I think your glasses broke or you left them or something. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. I was sprinting home because I didn't want to be at the bar anymore. And I ate complete shit on the phone with you. Glasses fell off my face, phone dropped. I think if you were listening closely, you could hear a stranger go, Jesus. And I got up and I

was like, I'm okay. And like, listener, I wasn't. Yeah. But, and it surely somebody on the other end should have known that as well but i think i just went oh he's fine yeah daniel's running home good he's running he's working out hey if you care about the environment and have a dog and you've seen snow piercer then consider reducing your dog's carbon footprint with jiminy's sustainable dog food and treats made from cricket protein jiminy's is sustainable made is sustain treats made from cricket protein. Jiminy's is sustainable made is sustainably made because cricket protein uses less water and land to produce than any other meat that we have and drastically eliminates greenhouse gas emissions versus traditional

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QQ25 at checkout. That's J-I-M-I-N-Y-S dot com slash QQ25 with code QQ25. Ah, the past. Speaking of running, I got another thing for you. It's also not really a question. Okay. It was just a fun thing that happened

that I want to tell you about. Then I want to ask you a question after you're done. Okay. Seems a little out of the ordinary for our podcast, but I'll allow it. I do an orange theory class.

I've talked about this before with my friend Susan every Monday. And the design of this class, because it changes every day, this particular one, instead of the rounds being time-based, as they often are, this is like you were going

at your own pace with the treadmill. So you're on the treadmill and you go whatever speed you want. And you get to, when you hit quarter mile, get off the treadmill and do, I think like 10 air squats or something like that. And then you get back on the treadmill, whatever speed you want, do a 0.2 of a mile air air squats, 0.15, air squats, 0.1. And you just do that back and forth and you keep your own pace obviously. What's an air squat?

Is that just an unweighted squat? Yeah, yeah. And I was doing that and I feel pretty confident about my speed in these classes usually. And I thought, as I'm running my first quarter mile, I think, I'm going to be the first person off this treadmill easily. And when I get off, I see down the line, another guy, red shirt, ball cap, has beat me to it. And he's already doing his air squats.

And I was like, oh, okay. Well, the hunt is on now. And I got on the treadmill for my next round knowing that he's ahead of me, but I'm like, oh, okay. Well, the hunt is on now. And I got on the treadmill for my next round knowing that he's ahead of me, but I'm going to beat this guy. Make the time up. I'm going to make the time up. And I would beat him.

And he's... We're making eye contact. I'm getting off the thing and looking for him. And after I beat him him i think twice in a row then he was always beating me and like to the point that i'm sprinting on this treadmill and i jump off it and look and i see him there and i like do a single you got to be kidding me clap and laugh because i'm having such a good time racing this guy flirting this man flirting with

this man yeah yeah and i spend the rest of the class trying to to chase him and i'm talking to susan next to me too i'm like i'm racing that guy in the red shirt and she was like all right i think you got him and i never got him and i was so looking forward to uh talking to him afterwards because because for me like this was one of the most it's always a fun class this was the most fun for me because like i i like an extra competitive edge to things i i miss my old workout class in la where i was dating the instructor and she would be uh verbally abusive to me in class that's part of it you treasure those memories yeah so i was like i like I like this sort of like combative energy that I had with this other guy in class. And at the end of class, we were stretching for cool down.

And he's like, he skips that. He just walks out and he goes home. And I turned to Susan and I go, I don't think that guy knew we were racing. But that means he was fucking going balls to the wall for nothing? I guess. That's psychotic behavior quietly looking forward to like shaking his hand and like yeah i don't know letting him have one of my future kids i guess like like he bested me quietly trying to demoralize another person who's near or at your same level is completely logical i

get that but he was just doing it for himself that's fucking crazy wait he didn't know i know um i watched just like for some context with that i i watched a guy trying to beat a time trial of like a mile long time trial on a course. And the way that they do it is that they have two rabbits be in front of him and not literal rabbits. There are people who are going to be sprinting the first half to like three quarters of the, of the mile so that you have someone to keep pace with. Cause if it's just you, you won't run fast enough. Oh no. The rabbits are behind him in front of him. He's got people to like break the wind essentially. Let me see if I'm getting that right. Yeah. He's got somebody who he can ride their jet stream or whatever the fuck it is, where he just

like stays behind them and can keep up with them and keep pace with them. I think they are the rabbits, but he's also like doing that. And I can't remember why there's like people on his heels, but it's like, there's like, you have to have all these people around you to actually do the thing to like go fast enough. Because if it's just you, you won't do it on your own. You just can't. It's just like physically impossible and mentally impossible to do it on your own. Even if you know the time, you know, you can watch the clock the entire way. If there's somebody else there next to you, who's like, you can beat, you'll do it better.

You'll do a better job to beat them. And that instinct I get. A guy just going to this fucking gym to run his heart. You're not slow, Dan. I've heard your splits. Like he's just going to the gym to do this on his own and just laying waste to his own PRs is headfirst insanity. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know if you've squeezed all the juice out of this yet, but I have a question related to it.

Great. It's a sweat question. What's your current sweat situation? Are you still a sweaty guy? You know, I am, but i think it's weirdly gotten better and i don't know i'm not doing anything differently um i i i sweat a normal amount when i when i go for for runs uh i'm i i go to the gym a lot, but I don't, I feel like in years past when I was at like peak gym and running time, that made me sweatier in my normal life.

Yeah. But now it's not. Now I feel like I sweat at only the appropriate times. It's still more than I'd like. If we can get technical here on the podcast, there's more ass sweat than I care for. And I don't really know what to do about that. Good.

I'm glad you wrote that up. Thank you. I mean, I'm always happy to, to work against my own best interests to have anyone ever date me. I'm a really competitive guy who competes with people who don't know he's competing with him and he's got a lot of ass sweat. What do you do?

I'm not a very sweaty person in general. When I run, I sweat what I think is an adequate amount. My body is like, this is what you're going to need. This is the allotment you need to cool off and then we're going to be done. And I respect that about my body. need to cool off and then we're going to be done. And I respect that about my body. But I had a circumstance recently where I was like, it was so embarrassing how much I was sweating that I kept apologizing for it where I had, I had biked to, I've been biking to get my lunches because the, the world is ending from cars. And so I thought this will be a nice way

that I can try and push back against that. And so I've been biking wherever I want to go eat and then coming back. And obviously it's a little hotter here now because it's summer, but I crunched my time a little bit more than I normally do. And I was going to get a haircut.

And so I was like, I rode my bike back home faster than normal, got back just in time to get in my car and drive to get a haircut. And so I was like, I rode my bike back home faster than normal, got back just in time to get in my car and drive to get a haircut. And as I'm driving, I've got the air conditioning on, I've got a blasting my face so that I can get to homeostasis. Like I can get to a good state where I can walk in there and it's not weird that like, I I'm not heavy. I'm like, my breath isn't heavy and that I'm not perspiring on my forehead or anything. I think, I feel like I achieved that.

And then I get there and I sit down in the chair and she throws that, uh, apron over me that like canvas, no breathing apron. And it's just a sweat tent at this point. Like the ones that your body temperature is up. She threw that thing around me and like pinned it against my neck. So there's no way any air can get in there or it can breathe at all. And I just started to bake in there, just like simmer in my own juices. No, wrestlers run in those things to lose weight.

And I was like, within three minutes, I'm thinking, oh, this is this is this is going to be bad. And then I can feel it start to translate into my face and I can feel like beads forming under my nose and on my temples and on my forehead. And at first I try to play it cool. And just first of all, getting an arm out of one of those things is impossible. It's just like I finally get one out and like kind of like that, do a little dab. And I think that's good. Immediately it's back.

And I'm just getting hotter and hotter. And I tell her, I'm like, Hey, I'm sorry. I'm so warm, which means I'm sorry. I'm so sweaty. Right. And I start to go on to, as I explained, she's like, it's fine. It's fine. Like she interrupts me to be like, it's fine, which means that it is bad.

Yeah. And that she's acknowledging it and that she's going to be like, Hey, I don't want you to feel bad about this. And I could just feel it is bad. Yeah. And that she's acknowledging it and that she's going to be like, Hey, I don't want you to feel bad about this. And I could just feel it getting worse. And then I can feel something I don't, I'm not used to, which is my lower back sweats enough that it it's creating like a melt rivers, like snowmelt rivers, essentially where it's all channeling to the middle and just sliding right down into my butt. Yeah i was like this is a unique experience that i've never had before it's unpleasant this is bad this is a lot of sweat there are i'm getting like the rivers are rising that they've they all this sweat has found each

other and they're like hey we're gonna head There's too much to stay up. Like it's raining on my body essentially at this point. to sit on a cake bare assed. And you could tell that he is like different after that because that's not even close to anything he's ever done. And I haven't done it, but I imagine there's nothing like sitting on a cake and having cake go up your butthole. And so the first time a river of sweat is going down your ass it's your your whole body is like what's this invasion what's happening someone stop it so this this

someone call the police i'm being violated i think i've been shot uh it was so deeply uncomfortable like i did a little shimmy in the chair. She's like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, no way I'm fucking telling you what just happened to me. But like, I'm, as I'm sitting there, I keep, I I'm just noticing I, she's not facing me towards the mirror, which is generally something I enjoy with a haircut. Uh, so I don't panic the whole time, but I'm facing away and I just feel it. I know that it's all over me. And I know that a part of me that sweats a lot

is the back of my scalp, like right at the top of my neck where the short hairs are. I know that I'm going to get a lot there. And I can, every once in a while, she's just getting out the hairdryer just because like it's too much. And so I keep apologizing

and she keeps saying, it's okay, it's okay. And I was like, this must be what it's like much. Yeah. And so I keep apologizing and she keeps saying, it's okay, it's okay. And I was like, this must be what it's like for sweaty people. Like we had a boss who famously would always wear a sweater no matter the heat over a dress shirt

because he couldn't, this dress shirt was essentially just a sponge for him. Yeah. And then he had an outer layer to look like a normal human being. But I was like, this must be what it's like. I am absolutely dying here. I'm roasting.

It's a rough time. And the fact that you mentioned haircuts specifically makes me think of something. This is a story I told as a guest on the Daily Zeitgeist 100 years ago. They do a segment in the beginning of their show where it's things that are underrated overrated and I think something else and my Underrated was Barbers and and stylists like people who work at these salons because I I'm sure you you thought that she was unhappy with you but she is saying not to worry all the time. And she's being a professional and she's doing her job. And I observed that when I was getting a haircut years ago and the guy next to me was, uh, an incredibly sweaty guy and like his

hair was greasy and he was nonstop sweating. And he also had to add insult to injury, just like and he was nonstop sweating. And he also had, to add insult to injury, just like boils or something on his neck that like had like traces of blood on them. And this guy seemed like the sweetest guy in the world because he kept saying like, he's aware of his situation. He's like, I'm really sorry about my sweat.

I'm really sorry about my hair. I'm really sorry about my neck. Like over and over again. And the woman cutting his hair, like every professional haircutter I've ever seen in my life. She's like, oh no worries It's fine. Just like doing her job and I'm watching this thinking like this is You are a saint and this is not what you fucking signed up for. You're not a doctor You didn't take an oath where you're where it's I'm going to see some of the gross stuff too, and that's part of it. I'm a professional. You are not paid enough. And I'm sure this is not the

only sweaty, greasy, bloody person you've had to cut the hair of. And you're just like smiling through it and you'll be miserable when you get home, I'm sure. But like, man, we don't pay these people enough. This sucks. This is a really bad time. It's such an intimate experience. And you can't pick like as a normal barber or hairstylist, you can't like say no to clients. It's just like you show up to work. It's like, who am I getting today?

Right. Oh, I'm up. And it's that one. All right. All right. All right. Just touching somebody's head over and over again. And like, they're trusting you with an awful lot too, because the part of you that everyone sees first, like it's on both, in both cases, it's a very intimate and kind of vulnerable

experience. Yeah. And yeah, it is tough for them. I was thinking as it was happening too, because she like well because she's not my usual barber but he was all backed up he had a lot of clients i guess i'm i'm on the look i'm on the hunt and uh she's like well where did you used to get your haircut and i told her his name and she was like okay and i was like yeah he's in culver city and she's like okay And I realized in that moment, oh yeah, you don't fucking know each other that in, in other industries, there's enough like crossover and there's events that you

go to and there's, um, summits and stuff where like new technology is coming out that everybody has to learn together. That's happening in so many other industries and all those people just kind of know each other. But for hairdressers, you know, the other people in your barbershop, if that, right. And then I don't think you keep track of any other barbers. Like there's no, you don't cross in the same circles in any other way. It seems so lonely. It seems like you don't have anybody to actually out there to be like, Oh, what's it like at your salon? And like, then you find out unless you just by chance find these people, but there's nobody like, it's not being forced on you like every other occupation right and i also doubt

when you're talking about your normal bartender your normal barber i doubt that she's like i'll look him up and like and ask what's so special about this guy let's see if he's got any tips for me i'm sure she's just like all right yeah He can't possibly be doing anything special. Right. Yeah. Is he blowing your mind? No, he's just doing my hair. Okay.

Yeah. Then he's a normal barber. That's great. But I do get the same sense. It's also with a lot of people who work in salons and everything. It's not like they're just like, yeah, this is my day job, which I think a lot of other careers are. They feel really passionate about it. They have a tattoo of scissors on their wrists and stuff like that, where it's like, I cut, that's my job. Like I like it. I love it. And they feel a certain amount of artistic satisfaction from it. So

it makes sense to me in my mind that I'm like, yeah, you guys should be going to conventions together. Like you guys should be like hooking up and like figuring it out and like talking it out. But I just don't think there's any thing that's happening like that for barbers. Yeah. Okay. I think we can wrap it up here,

Dan. Cool. Do it. You have been listening to quick question with Soren and Daniel. You can follow us of course, on Twitter. You can talk to, of course, on Twitter. You can talk to us there as well. Daniel is at DOB underscore INC.

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Then bye. Bye. What's on your mind? I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When will I be remembered? What's it out there? Where did all the good weeks end?

Oh forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here