Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - In Self-Defense of Full House | Ep. 293

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

The guys talk about Soren's weapon issue for as long as Daniel can muster, before they "cut. it. out!" and  transition very normally to a celebration of the 90's sitcom Full House: catchphrases, effort level, what a rewatch is revealing to Daniel about how TV has changed, and why writers should play a little bit of sports.

When you want a bet on sports, played on a field or ice or course, Bet Rivers is the place. Over, under, money, lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bet Rivers Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus, available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for your charge. I've got a quick quick question for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? Who would I be? Who do you remember? What's the last word? What did I do?

Who do we know? Oh forget it I saw a movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here Yeah, we kept down to start the recording and Soren took a big ol' sip at one. That's normally when I start talking to introduce the show, but had to wait for a big ol' sip of something.

We should've just started the show like, uh, two people at lunch who aren't talking. Like, the conversation hasn't really kicked off yet, and it's just like you hear a lot of like silverware clatter and maybe some drinking and they were like, oh, you know I heard a thing and then we go to the show Soren, how are the show's quick question you're sore and I'm Daniel you write for American Dad. I write for last week tonight Both of those bits of information come with asterisks of as of recording Yeah, I don't know things aren't great mostly cuz I'm just having trouble with my gun. Oh

God I was gonna make one of those jokes about Like you're sad because we Breaking news before this was Hogan died and I was gonna make a joke about you're sad that you lost another white guy Comfortable saying the n-word like I was gonna make a joke that you're like secretly a Conservative monster and then here you go Having trouble my gun with reality my gun. It's reality.

My gun's pissing me off. Yeah. What uh? Well, so I have this great gun and when I went, this is something I inherited that's like this, it's called a single six Ruger. It looks like a cowboy gun. It's very cool looking. But the way they're built is like the cylinder,

you know that thing you turn, you put the bullets in? Yeah. For the Ruger, there's two different ones. There's one that you can change out for just a little bit bigger caliber called a 22 Magnum. And I was like, oh, I wish I had that piece. And then I went home to help my mom move out of her house and lo and behold there there was there was the cylinder and I was like oh cool so I

couldn't wait to get it home like find time to go shoot it so I was waiting and waiting until after our show wrapped and we were on hiatus and yesterday was the day where I was like I'm gonna go shoot this gun so I took it and as soon as I put the cylinder in I was like oh it'm going to go shoot this gun. So I took it and as soon as I put the cylinder in, I was like, Oh, it doesn't turn very well in the gun. Like there's something it's, it's rubbing or something. And, um, I put the 22 Magnum, uh, rounds in it and I was like, Oh, these are, these fit, but it doesn't look any different than my other, uh, cylinder.

And so I put the 22 magnums in that cylinder too. And they fit. And so now I don't know, there's nothing on the cylinders that indicates whether they're 22 or they're 22 mag and I can't. Is this helpful conversation to you? No, like there's, I don't have enough gun specifics that I can even make a fun joke or anything. I do feel like if you're having any trouble,

the internet is full of people who at least pretend to be experts at guns. So like some of them broken clock and all that. I went and I checked it out. The issue is that now I can't fire anything out of it other than the 22 megs because if it's not that, then what can happen is you get this thing called, the shell can split.

Like as you shoot, the chamber's too big for it. And so there's too much room in there, and then the gases and the pressure can make the shell split as it comes out, and that would be very dangerous. So now I don't even know if I'm allowed to shoot this gun anymore. That's sad for me. What a Shonda. So guns, gun talk. Well, how's your gun? I don't have

a gun and if I did, it would be rusted and full of bugs from disuse. Yeah, I'm certain Yeah, I Don't mean to be so dismissive of guns. I just don't like them And I think they're bad and I think we should have them. I agree with you I I am a gun owner who? Who doesn't want a gun? I Think that it would be honestly be a huge load off of me if Biden was like, hey, we're taking your guns. Also, I'm still president.

Yeah. I would be like, oh great. That's good news because this has been a headache for me. Yeah. Well. Sorry, I got a quick question for you. Yeah, you want to talk about something else? I really do.

Wait, can I jump in about something else? I really do. Wait, can I jump in here really quick? Yes. So I get that guns themselves are kind of a dead end here, but what about like self defense? Someone did break into your home. Like what would you guys be? We did. We did. We had like what's next to your bed.

Yeah. But it was, I think it was before your time. I think it was we still had that guy who wore sunglasses and laid on the floor. DJ Vincent. Yeah. Yeah. We talked about what our self-defense message was, but that, and this wouldn't be mine by the way.

There's just no way to get it in time. It's in a safe, it's not loaded. Like there's a lot of work I'd have to go to get it ready. There'd have to be a very slow intruder that wanted to hurt me in order for me to use it. Also, I'd be aiming towards my kid's bedroom, which is like, just not ideal. So I don't think I would even use it for that.

I'd just die, just die. Let me open the safe for you first and you can have this gun, because I don't want it anymore. I believe the answer to Gabe's question though, if you don't want to go back and listen, my self-defense would be the mighty pen, perhaps. Yeah. Some wicked barbs. Mightier than some different weapons.

Yeah. Which is nice. I also have one that's mightier than some other weapons. It's called my axe Yeah I want to show you my fists Because those are the babies that are doing the real heavy lifting Yeah, I have an axe that's er, oh, yeah, it's an axe. It's near my it's like just in my room It just happens to be there But it does seem like a thing where if I came at you with an axe you'd be like, oh shit

I didn't expect that and that might be startling enough that you'd run away if if there was an intruder in the house and We were upstairs sleeping We would probably just Lock our door. Let them take whatever there's nothing of real value let them take whatever, there's nothing of real value anywhere in the house. They can go and rummage around downstairs while we're watching them on camera and calling the police from the safety of our bedroom. And watch them like, watch Jackson note their presence and then roll over onto his back so they could scratch his belly. and I'll watch them like steal things while we're calling the police

If I am anywhere on the ground floor when they come in, I think I am running to the shed From which I will burst with just so much crazier shit than a gun. Nothing that they're ever expecting like this this giant than I've done. Shears probably. Nothing that they're ever expecting. Like this giant, this nine foot electric pole that I use to trim tree branches that I can't reach.

I'll come out and like very clearly, I'm not very steady with it. So they're like, this guy's gonna hurt me even while I'm trying to deescalate the situation. So I should just go. I gotta say, Dan, pretty tough pill to swallow to hear you say there's nothing of value in the house while that painting that I gave you

is in the background of your shot. It's upstairs, this is upstairs. Oh, okay, so they're on the ground floor. Yeah. Okay, all right, great. Well, yeah, and you can't slide that under the door, it's big canvas, can't let him have that. Well, I think you're right,

I think that's also why Ax felt like a bewildering enough thing that I was like, well, I'll just leave this here. It's also in a space where my children can't get to it. If you're wondering, but obviously I keep the gun in their room. Of course in the children's room. Yeah. It's just something for them to play with. Like I don't want them, when they get up early, it's just so annoying to have to get up at the same time as them.

So if they have something to interact with. Like I don't want them, when they get up early, it's just so annoying to have to get up at the same time as them. So if they have something to interact with. You gotta normalize it. Yeah. They can't be afraid of guns. We're not getting rid of guns in this country. You can't be afraid of them. Get used to them. Yeah. And so that's the life I've chosen. All right. I guess we should do this show. Yeah. It's a weird energy today. I guess I came to gun talk and that really did it. I don't know. I don't know who else to talk to about this stuff.

I don't have any gun friends. I don't want gun friends, but I have a gun problem. You have two gun friends. I think one of them, you probably don't wanna talk to about this. The one from the sketch troop. I don't think you want to talk to him because I think if you were like, I have a problem. My gun fucking wheel doesn't spin or whatever your problem was.

Yeah, you got it. I think he would counter with, that's not your problem. Your problem is not enough guns. And he would like, he would change your life in a way that I think neither was really want. But if you talk to our other gun friend, Robert Evans of Behind the Bastards fame, I think he would be a great sounding board for all of your gun issues because he's incredibly knowledgeable and owns lots of guns and is one of the gun owners that has always made sense to me because something that I've noticed about a lot of gun owners is they refuse to acknowledge what I think is a deep down secret truth of gun owners is that beneath all of the self-defense and

the constitutional right and the protection of your blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, is that you think guns are cool. You like the noise they make. You like how it feels in your hand. You like how it makes you feel. Bang, bang, bang, pow, pow, pow. We all watched, we've been indoctrinated by like literal decades of pro-gun propaganda in all media everywhere. It's okay to admit that you think guns are cool, but like because

pro-gun people are so worried about not being taken seriously, the vast majority of them act like, oh, I'd never even, oh, you think this is cool? You think this metal heavy thing that I can point at someone and then I feel like God. And I have all the power. Make them go away and it makes loud noise. You think that's cool? That's interesting.

I'd never even considered that. Like they- I really just got this for self defense. The fact that- Every time that I go use it, every time that I get drunk with my friends by a campfire and go use it, I'm practicing for defending my family. The fact that they don't bring it up, the coolness factor makes me think that they are either dishonest or unserious people.

And Robert Evans is like from jump, is like, well, I have lots of guns because I think they're cool and I like guns I'm interested in guns and there's like a historical aspect to it and their self-defense aspect to it But also I think they're cool. I think they're neat bang bang bang. Look at me. I'm Neo from the matrix Isn't that neat? Yeah, he has a lot of guns. I've seen I've seen his gun collection and he's like I'm like, I think I gave him the out too. I was like so Which one do you which one do you, which one would you actually like feel most comfortable using if you were in a dangerous situation? And he's like, Oh, none of these are for that.

None of these are for that. He has a shotgun and he's like, I guess this one, cause I wouldn't be in very, I wouldn't be in control and I need to spray as much, as much ammo in a direction as possible. And so he was like, as much death and destruction in a direction as possible. And I was like, yeah, that's an appropriate response because I think so many people also anticipate that they are master chief. As soon as a situation jumps off,

that they're gonna be like, okay, I gotta go for a headshot here. And that's not the mindset you're gonna be in. You're gonna be terrified out of your mind. You're gonna just be like swinging it at somebody like a sword and shooting at the same time. Yeah. Closing your eyes while you're firing.

No matter how much you practice, you can't, like Mike Tyson says. Yeah. What does Mike Tyson say? He says, everybody has a plan until they get hit in the mouth. Oh, yeah, that's right. That is something that Mike Tyson says. When you want to bet on sports,

played on a field or ice or course, Bet Rivers is the place. Over, under, money, lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with that River sportsbook Must be 19 plus available in Ontario only please play responsibly if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you Please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for your charge. I Was thinking about

Gun culture and gun owners when, gosh, was this a full different year when that UnitedHealthcare CEO was shot? Oh God, yeah. This calendar year or a different year? I think, wasn't that before Christmas? Let's find out. Gosh. When was Luigi?

Anyway, while you're looking that up, the point I was making was that when that- When was Luigi? Anyway, while you're looking that up, the point I was making was that when that went down and all of the news was taking gun crime on whites very seriously and doing all of these different specials about protection and guns and everything like that, and very little about what would motivate someone to be unhappy with a healthcare CEO in this current time. They were interviewing quote unquote, like bodyguard expert type people. They would have them on the news and

I would watch these news segments. And it was like this specific thing is not something that you get like a doctorate in or a degree in. I'm sure there's like specific training that you would go through if you were going to like bodyguard the president or something like that. Like there are certainly security firms where they have people that they train, but for the most part, this guy, this expert that was on the news was like, what I would do in this situation if I were guarding his body, I would be looking behind me and behind him. I would be a few steps back so I could see all things in the

horizon. And I would, my training allows me to isolate potential threats by seeing like, I would see over there at his two o'clock, there's a column. That is an opportunity for someone to jump out from behind the column. and so I would assess that threat level and I would make decisions from there. And one of the things that is nerve-wracking for someone like me is going into a building without a lot of windows. With windows here like this building for example I can see that gives me full visibility. I'm like this is just a fucking guy who played video games. This is the stuff that I would do.

All these like bodyguard firearm experts are all just cobbling together the same stuff that I've seen from movies. There's no like, you know, when I see a writer in a movie or a TV show, it's a very fantastic version of what this life is. And then I've trained and studied and spent my life doing it that I know what it's actually like.

I assumed that the stuff I see in movies where some guys like, oh what you gotta do is like aim small miss small you aim for the button on their shirt and then that's a torso shot and you want that or you want like a headshot blah blah blah or like take them in the knee to immobilize him. I think yeah that's all stuff for dummies like me watching the movie. But if you were actually training to guard someone's life, you'd get the real training. No! They're all just doing what the movie said. Yeah, and all of them think, like, I could. I might be John Wick. We don't know yet. We don't know because the circumstance hasn't arrived, but I rise. But I'm pretty sure that

in that circumstance I would I would do some gun Cotta so far I've not been called to unleash my inner John wick the closest I've come is I accidentally shot my neighbor Because his lawnmower made a loud noise and I didn't like it and I was Yes, but I do to my training it was a non-lethal shot I just crazed him they I Uh, yes. But thankfully due to my training, it was a non-lethal shot. I just crazed him. They, I, I, it's a, it's a culture of people that love to, to know a lot about gut. You know what it is? Okay. Um, when I used to like, when I was skiing snowboard, there were people who knew the fucking names of every single trick there was. And like those kids in your school

who knew like everything that there was, backside, frontside, like they knew like how many rotations there were, like they knew everything. And so they knew the names of every single thing. And those kids without a fail were snowboarders and skiers there were. Like it's, somehow they think that the knowledge will make up for everything else. And like the knowledge is the task.

Like the knowledge is the skill as far as they're concerned. And it's just not. And so you feel like those people come out of the woodwork all the time. When anybody mentions a gun online, everybody else is like, oh, actually I'm the expert on this. So I'll tell you what it actually is. Oh, you use the word magazine instead of clip. Oh buddy.

Yeah, like that kind of stuff where you're like, oh, you just know a lot of terminology. And to be fair, in States like California, you have to, because in order to even own a gun, you gotta know all this stuff. You gotta know that it's around and not a bullet and stuff like that, because there's a test you have to fucking take.

But in general, those people are the least knowledgeable and they are the most dangerous I would say. Yeah. The least practical knowledge. There was, I went out fishing on a boat a couple weeks ago and I never liked to, I don't think I'm a particularly good fisher. I like it a whole lot and I've been doing it for a while, but there's a to, I don't think I'm a particularly good fisher. I like it a whole lot and I've been doing it for a while, but there's a lot that I don't know and I can't, you can't put me anywhere with a fishing rod in my hands and get a guaranteed

fish after that. Like I will go out sometimes and catch nothing. And I don't know what the difference is between those days and the days where I catch a lot. This day there was a fishing boat and I made pals with the two guys next to me. None of us knew each other previously. And I happened to have a lucky day. I was just in the right spot.

There's always some asshole on the boat next to me who's catching so much. And I'm always like, why not me? I'm right next to him. This time I was the asshole next to me.'s catching so much. And I'm always like, why not me? I'm right next to him. This time I was the asshole next to me. I was the one who just like, I just couldn't miss. And the guy, two guys down for me, that was part of this trio that I'd formed,

he was nonstop talking about fishing tips and using specifically like terminology, like you say, with the guns where like he, uh, we're fishing with clam as bait. And some of the clam strips are like dense, thick, like it feels like kind of a big eraser that you used to have in school. And some of it is just like gooey, sloppy, dripping, hanging down, like the internal parts of a clam actually would be. And at a certain part of the day, he just declared, they're biting on ice cream now. And that was his way of saying like the part that looked melty, he called that ice cream, which I'm sure was a term that someone used at some point. And he was saying they're biting on it because I guess he went down and came up and his bait was gone because he didn't catch a fish.

But it was just like, he told the captain, when the captain walked by making the rounds, he was like, bite not ice cream today, Rich. And everyone was like, okay. And he kept giving tips to the guy next to me. He was just like, so on this particular drift, what we're gonna wanna do is we're gonna wanna drop down and like bring it up a couple of clicks. Just reel up a little bit.

The fish are about two feet off from the bottom now. So you hit bottom and you wanna go up and you don't wanna bounce up this time. And they're biting on ice cream. So like, if you've got the strips, swap them out and put on this gooey soap cause that's what they're biting on. Tips. So like, if you've got the strips, swap them out and put on this gooey soap because that's what they're biting on. Tips like this for the entire day.

He didn't catch one fucking fish. I walked off that boat giving fish away because I had reached my limit. I had caught too many fish that at a certain point, I was like, does anyone want this beautiful 20 inch sea bass? I can't take it. I caught too many. And this fucking kid with his ice cream and his tips who couldn't catch a goddamn cold

out there was still talking his shit so much. And I don't know why. This is, I don't know why. I'm having an idea. I feel like we should just turn this podcast into a gun and like right now, there's clearly a market for it out there. We're just, we're not hitting that we are not touching it at this point. Fishing and hunting YouTube is so lucrative. They get so many views from dummies like me

and they get such great cool sponsorships first of all, like these people who are like, they catch fish and then they clean the fish and then they cook it. And as they're cooking it, they're like, by the way, I'm gonna use this seasoning that the company sent me. The company sent me this seasoning and I'm gonna use it to cook this food.

Or it's a guy who's been fishing for a while and is like, yeah, I'm down on Florida on vacation and because of my channel, these very nice people with their nice fishing boat decided to take me out to do some deep sea fishing for these fucking Goliath groupers and it's like, god damn it. All we ever get on this stupid podcast was some Lululemon clothes once. No one thinks of us as a sponsor.

Not even as a fishing trips. Yeah. I will say if anyone out there knows guns, I've got a Ruger Signal 6. It's a three screw, which means it's old from like the 1950s and I for whatever reason have two Magnum cylinders. Why would I have two Magnum cylinders? That's all. Put it out there.

Let me know. Yeah, do you think they're good and that's gonna turn into what for you? Free Ruger will contact me. More guns? Free more cylinders? Yeah, Ruger will contact me. And with any luck, Ruger will then send me several pairs of shorts and polo shirts and a pair of shoes.

They don't completely fit. They're not exactly what you would buy. But it was a generous thought. That was really nice of them. It was probably worth a lot of money. Wish I'd wear all this stuff. When you want a bet on sports, played on a field or ice or course, Bet Rivers is the place. Over, under money lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bet River Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus, available in Ontario only.

Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Oh, should we get into the show? Yeah, let's do something that people would actually want to listen to I Don't even know what that is anymore. Well, we have a better guess than what we just did I don't know why I mean I derailed us from the start. That's my fault. Yeah, I was thinking about it though I know and it seemed like you're really broken up about it in the beginning of the episode

So I'm glad we touched on it, but soren. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I'd like to're really broken up about it in the beginning of the episode, so I'm glad we touched on it. But Soren. Yeah, go ahead. I'd like to talk about a little show I'm watching right now, rewatching. It's called Full House. The same way that you are with guns, I have a lot of thoughts and I don't know where to put them. Don't know who to share them with. Why are you rewatching Full House?

We just put it on, my wife and I, as like very easy watching, comfortable background noise while we're both working from home. And then we have found ourselves also putting it on when we're not working. Like when it's nighttime and we can watch whatever we want, it's all just like, well, what harm is another episode of Full House gonna do? You're essentially watching- I gotta say so. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead.

I have so many thoughts about it. I watched it growing up in a way that we all did. It was just like one of the shapes that was on television, like an inescapable thing. I watched Full House in the way that I went to church and played Little League Baseball. I had no control over my life. It's safe to say I've seen every single episode of Full House and it was not by my choice. Yes.

And I feel like I remembered it pretty well. Not to say fondly, but just like, I get what this show is. It's so much more than I remembered it being. In my head, it was like very corny, very cheesy problem in the beginning of the episode, resolved by the end of the episode with the sad dramatic music and Danny Tanner says the right thing and everyone's happy and there's big awe. And the show in my memory was like, you trot out the cute little kids to have them say a catchphrase and then they leave

and the audience loves that. And Michelle filled that role for a couple years. And then as soon as she got old enough to have like plot lines instead of just being a catchphrase device, bam, they shoot out two more little kids. Two twins, yeah. Savage kid thing. That was my memory of this show and I'm still mostly right about that.

But I, I find myself, uh, let's start with what I'm impressed by on this show. I, we don't make shows like this anymore. We don't do contained 22 minutes of television. Well, one show does. Yes. One still does, I hope forever. Yeah.

Many people don't do this. Certainly they don't do like 22, 24 episode seasons of that kind of thing where a problem is introduced in the beginning, solved by the end and never discussed again. And that's impressive, that's fun to see. I'm impressed by, because the show was a hit and there were so many things that you could do over and over again when you have a catchphrase based show when you have Easy comfort viewing like full house. You don't need to do much beyond The loosest of plot that gets you to Michelle saying something cute. Maybe Stephanie saying her catchphrase

Jesse saying his catchphrase don't touch the hair Don't touch the hair or have mercy. He back and forth did both of those. That's right. Give Uncle Joey an excuse to do his voices or his cut it out, like his catchphrases, all this kind of stuff. Would, would?

Yeah, I'm gonna do them all as you go. Yeah, I got that. No, that's clear. You could very easily just like make every episode the laziest version of that show. I was so surprised and impressed that they choose not to do it. Like even though it's a very repeatable bubblegum show, Jesse John Stamos competently plays drums, guitar, piano, and sings. There are like dream sequences that involve the entire family doing a full bit of choreography.

It's like in the episode where Stephanie dreams of being a dancer, they were all like dancing on a Broadway stage and like doing like a full ass fucking number. There are a lot of dance sequences. There's an episode where they have a telethon where they're raising money for something and Stephanie does a dance routine. There is a like pretty compelling magic act that turns into a duet. There's comedy bits. It's like a show that, again, could have just been easy and nothing. They find a couple of times every, I would say like every three episodes at least, they are finding some way to shoehorn something ambitious in there.

They are showing off all of the talents of all the people in their cast. It's impressive. It's cool. I mean, it's something that I feel like if you were watching it as a family, there was something for everyone in there. You could see like, you know, John Stamos is real fucking talent. He was just like a real talented dude and they were showcasing all of the things that he could do. There are no sitcoms now where, like the one that comes to mind is How I Met

Your Mother, where they had Neil Patrick Harris. So they're like, well, a couple of times a season, we're going to find a way for his character Barney to sing or do magic or do some other physically impressive display. And they've got Jason Segal, we're going to have him play piano or play an instrument and sing. Just like using all of the tools that they had, Full House was phenomenal at this, using all of its tools and choosing not to rest on those laurels. That I found very impressive. Oh man, you're really watching this show through some rose colored glasses. I know.

Well, a few other things are interesting about it to me. One that I have to go back to is the jokes are not good. For a comedy that is ostensibly full of jokes, none of them are good. I don't know if the show had bad joke writers or if they had good writers who were just not allowed to write good jokes because of standards of practices or whatever, but it's just bad joke after bad joke after bad joke. Nothing is really getting a laugh. I don't know if it was getting a laugh at the time to like thinking adults who are watching the show growing up. Like I'm trying to figure out,

is this a problem with, were the times different or was this always bad and never really supposed to be a show that made you laugh? Was it just soup or a warm blanket or something like that? Okay. Okay. I have some thoughts about all this. Do you want to keep going? I do because the other thing that is sort of like a twin to the jokes being bad is, I'm so, it's such an alien show. And to some extent, all sitcoms treat jobs and specific things fantastically. How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby is an architect and he is an architect

in his 20s who designs a building that is going to live in the New York City skyline. And I know a couple of architects and that's not a thing that happens. You don't just like graduate architecture school, sit in your apartment drawing buildings on paper, and then they let you design a building for Manhattan. You just don't like, so much of architecture is just not designing buildings that are gonna get built in the world. And that kind of stuff makes sense to me, like when you're writing a show, you don't want to learn so much about the job that you're writing about because you don't want to be handcuffed.

If you learn more about architects, then you won't be able to write the plot line about him designing a building. So the writers keep themselves in the dark about most jobs, which I understand. That's why you can have Full House where Jesse is a successful touring musician, recording artist and also a radio DJ and sometimes a sidekick on a children's television show. Because they don't know enough about any of these things, they're okay with throwing the rules out the window, but they also do that with like, there's a scene where the adult men are all playing pool together,

because they got a pool table, because that's what plots used to be on television. The boys got a pool table. Where, where, where did they put it? In the basement. In the basement where Joey lives that became a recording studio. Yes, okay. I just was checking the blueprint in my mind that Ted Mosby designed and I've got it now. I know exactly where it is.

They've got this pool table and it's Jesse and Joey who for the purposes of this episode are the cool ones. And then Danny comes down and he's like, I'd like to play pool. And Jesse's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is for men. You can't play pool. Yeah, you're a pussy. It's just for us. They say that all the time on the show. You're always crying because your wife's dead, you pussy. Thanks for letting us stay in your house.

It's always catchphrase. Everyone in the family, even the kids, always call a Danny a pussy. Yeah. Steve comes over and he's like, Oh, that pussy's in the kitchen? Yeah. Oh, fuck this. What's up, Mr. Bitch?

So Danny comes downstairs and he wants to play pool. And they're like, no. And they put some money on it. And then Danny ends up hustling them and like being the best pool player, which is a, like a pretty standard and acceptable plot line for a TV show. Fresh Prince of Bel Air did the same thing. Yeah.

It's happened a bunch. Danny is playing pool and it's unclear what version of pool he's playing because he is just, he's very impressively getting in every ball. Like he breaks and a solid and a stripe both go in. And he's like, whoa, I guess I got two on my first shot. And the other guys are like, whoa. And then he's just like, he'll go for a stripe. He'll go for a solid and he's running the table. And it's so confusing to me

because that's not how you play pool. That's not any version of pool. Like I get if they, you know, they don't want to introduce cutthroat, a three player game of pool. They don't want to confuse the audience. And they, I'm assuming took it even further where it's like, well, the audience won't understand cutthroat. You know what? These fucking idiots, these catch phrase monkeys, they might not even understand real pool. Let's just have Danny get every ball in the holes, but like I don't... If the writers are writing

What they think a radio DJ's job is like, no one in the cast can tell them if they're wrong or being crazy. You, three adults shooting a non-existent game of pool, surely those men have played pool in real life before. Surely someone would be like, would stop the writers and be like, hey, this is a cash cow and I don't wanna tell anyone how to do their job. Like, shouldn't we,

wouldn't it be just as impressive if Danny was good at real pool? Couldn't we still convey the same idea by having me get all of the solids in and then close with the eight ball? And if the audience is confused, that's, first of all, they probably won't be. Second of all, it's, it's okay. They're not gonna, they're not gonna write into the show and say like, why did he only get half the balls in?

It's gonna be fine. But no, no one said anything. They just let it be wrong. And that happens so much on this show. They're buying a car and the process of buying a car is done in a way that no one has ever, who has ever bought a car before could relate to. And no one stops them when they're writing the show. It's, it, it's got it's just its own cartoon logic.

I, I mean, I, I understand that. As somebody who writes on a show that is a sitcom in which you have to present jobs that you don't particularly know about, you really do take that like the wire detective approach where you just want a fuzzy view. You don't want like a real clear view because you want it to be as, you don't want to be teaching in the episode at all

because you're using up a bunch of time to like teach about a job or like a skillset. And you're like, that doesn't sound good. You want to know exactly as much as the audience and maybe a little less. And then you can like build, you can build off of that. So I understand that, but you're absolutely right that there are, what that means is that it's real dangerous territory because if everyone in the room happens to be really ignorant about a particular topic and then the rest

of your audience isn't, ooh, that looks really bad. Like the baseball scene in Twilight when all the vampires played baseball. How was Twilight? Twilight? We were close. It's fine. That's good. If you go back and watch that scene, go find it on YouTube.

Go find that scene on YouTube and you see a bunch of people who have no idea what the sport of baseball is, both the actors and the writers, never played a single game of baseball, probably never seen a game of baseball, but have heard of it. Heard like whisperings of this game that exists. And it's painful to watch.

Same with that basketball scene in Catwoman where you're like, I don't even know what the fuck they're playing. What is this game? There's a line in Gilmore Girls that always stuck out to me when a character who's also named was Jesse and he's like a bad boy and he wants to get, he tries to get some people to play cards. He's like, come on, let's play some poker, five bucks a hand. I was like, that's not how poker works. Why would you?

A fundamental part of poker is like, you can bet more. Raising money and bluffing. If you're truly just playing five bucks a hand, I mean, that sounds fun. That sounds like it requires very little skill and I have as good a chance as anybody else to take a $10 pot each hand. But in that case, why don't we just play in high card?

Just roll a die card. See who wins $5. Yeah. So there's like a lot. I understand that impulse from them. Is it possible? It's not possible they're playing nine ball, is it? Like there's no, there's a stripe after solid.

There's no, okay. Well that's disappointing in the show. I was Googling immediately to be like, is there any game of pool that is like this? And there's just not. There's plenty of different variations of billiards that you can do. Yeah. So many people, so many people working on the set. Cause the other thing about our show is that we don't, you, you have like,

if it's not, if we're not going to catch it in the writer's room, it might not get caught. Cause there's no, there's no set, there's no actors. I mean, there's no, there's no set, there's no actors. I mean, there's people who are reading their lines, aren't reading the whole script. When they come in to record, they're just doing the lines that you gave them. So nobody has like a full context of the script other than the writers. And so if you, if you don't know enough about a subject, yeah, you could really fuck yourself. But, right.

But surely when they're on set filming this in 1992, and there's a 29 year old boom operator chain smoking, currently, he's like, that's not how you- The cyber pool. He would only be going after the salads. Or like if he broke like that where he got a stripe and salad in at the same time, I think it's someone else's shot now.

I'm pretty sure like he could declare which one he wants, but that's a foul. It's Jesse's turn now. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I agree with you. I think that there's, it's absolutely insane.

I don't remember the scene. I'm gonna go back and watch it. It's absolutely insane. I don't remember the scene. I'm gonna go back and watch it. I do like a thing that I like about, another thing I like about Full House that is very, you know, it's not gonna seem foreign to you because you work for American Dad, but Full House took the biggest swings for introducing a character's want out of fucking nowhere. And it's such a blue sky.

You could do whatever you want. An episode starts and Joey is just like, out of nowhere for the first time. I just really feel like my career's in a rut. I gave myself a deadline of five years to make it on television as a comedian and today is gonna be five years and I haven't done anything. And Danny's like, it's funny you should mention that. I'm on the phone with Star Search.

Would you like to go on Star Search right now? It's like, that would be amazing. It's just, I was joking about it with Michael Swade yesterday and his riff was an episode starting. It was like, so dad, you know how I've always wanted to be on the Harlem Globetrotters? Yeah, Stephanie, yes, of course. I just don't think I'm gonna make it.

Well, that's crazy, cause the Harlem Globetrotters are, they're in town. They're actually at my TV station studio. They're holding tryouts today. And it's like, great. And then Stephanie goes and she beats a Harlem Globetrotter for an episode. And then at the end she's like, you know what? I realized that if I'm a Harlem Globetrotter, I'd be traveling so much that I wouldn't be able to be a good big sister to

Michelle, like DJ was to me. And so I'm going to respectfully resign from the Harland Lobetrotters. That's like not far off from a Full House episode. Episode in the bank right there. I fucking love it. It's so much fun. It's so freeing. The characters get jobs that are their dream jobs and then they lose them four episodes later and it doesn't matter. Sometimes not, sometimes it just, it doesn't ever come up again. Joey will get his dream job and then, or like he's, he's really into hockey and he like gets this opportunity to like play hockey and they're like, but next episode, I don't know, it didn't work out.

We're not really sure. We're not talking about it. Like he's back into comedy. We're just assuming that that didn't happen. Maybe it wasn't Canon. We don't know. It doesn't matter. It's, it is sort of like the wheelhouse that our show is in right now,

because you do at the beginning of every episode, you're just like, all right, well, in this one, Steve cares an awful lot about this special lake that he goes to and nobody else knows about it. And he goes every summer with snot. And like, it's the most important thing in the world to him. And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, that sounds right. Like, it's never come up once before, they've had summer breaks before and they're not there. But no, this sounds right.

And it's great. It's great because then it frees you up. And everybody watching also knows that. I think that when you're saying like they're not getting laughs in the episode or that the jokes aren't funny, I think you're right. It's not about the jokes. It's not supposed to be like, that's not what hooked people on the show. It was the, well, first of all, one of the only things on television, it was in that TGIF lineup. It was something that was supposed to be accessible to kids, tolerable to adults, and just felt comfortable, I think. And I think that's all they were really aiming for. And so you maybe, you probably hire writers specific

to that, you don't hire writers who are gonna give you a bunch of like blue jokes or really high level jokes. Like you don't want that. It's not what the show is good at. And then also I think, as you're making the show, you know the deliveries of your cast. And you know who's good at making, who're, you're, when, as you're making the show, you know, the deliveries of your, um, cast and you know, who's like, who's good at making, who's good at it, who's not good at it.

And you're giving them the jokes and then you're throwing all of your throwaway jokes are giving to other characters. I've heard stories about friends where at friends, they had like, there were joke holes. There were people that they would give the jokes to and they would be like, they'll this person will sell this joke. This will be good. And then other people, they're like, we can't give a joke to Jennifer. We can't give a joke to a Chandler in the later seasons because they're just not funny. Right.

And so they'll rob them of the jokes and give it to somebody else. Right. Because if I write this joke for them and then they do it in front of an audience and it dies, then they'll cut the joke and make us rewrite it. And I like my joke too much to see that happen to it. Yeah. And so it's like, well, why even burn all that time? Let's just give it to somebody who will do it right.

And when you get to that, you get far enough in a season, you can do that because you no longer beholden to what you thought was like the character Bible for each of these characters. You have like this detailed list of like these guard rails for what a character can and can't be early on. And later on, who gives a shit? Like it could have just easily been Francine

who has this watering hole that she goes to every summer and like that she likes to go spend her time at. It doesn't matter anymore because you've been, the characters have broken those rails so many times that you're like, yeah, I'll believe anything at this point. Yeah, that's so freeing. That's so fun. It is.

It's really fun. And it's good to see that they're taking advantage of it. Now as for like them taking advantage of it, like trying to show off the skill sets of the character, of the people who are on the show, I don't think it's as creative as you're anticipating to it. I don't think that they're, I think that they, first of all, are running out of ideas. And so they're like, what are we gonna do?

Well, Jesse can sing. Let's do a couple more singing episodes. But also, those were the hit episodes of every single sitcom, and they're all trying to land on that again. That's like, you think about to the Cosby show, about the Cosby show, there were episodes where they lip sync as a whole

family, you know, like they're coming down the stairs and they're like lip singing to a Ray Charles song or whatever. And it, it absolutely destroys. They're all dancing in unison. Anytime you get the whole family singing and dancing together on television, it's like, it's an Emmy episode. So I think they're all chasing that dragon. I think that Full House a lot of times was like, let's get everybody dancing together.

They can do it, so why not do it? And we know like this is guaranteed to be a ratings hit. I think we lost something as time went on though, because like, I'm sure they, I'm sure the cast of The Office could all sing and dance, but it's very difficult for that show's reality to justify their cast singing and dancing together. So it only happened. Once.

Twice. Oh, the wedding episode and what else? There was a cold open in a post-coral run of the office where they did like a lip dub thing. Where they did a, they were, office was like, well enough into its run that viral videos started existing. And so they're a, they were, office was like well enough into its run that viral videos started existing. And so they're like, we should, the whole office should do, should use the mockumentary crew to film us doing a lip dub and try to make a viral video of

us dancing and singing at our workplace. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. There um, on our show, on American Dad, the only show I have any reference for, so I'm basing it all on this. We do have a cast that is extraordinary at singing. I'd say a killer cast. Who's Steve's voice? That is Scott Grimes. God, he's got a good fucking set of pipes. Unbelievable. So famous, he was a child star because of Star Search.

You can go back and watch a video. Like Joey. Yes. He goes, he sings. Like my hero Joey, who got second place on Star Search, doing Popeye. Doing cut it out. Yeah.

Opening with the catchphrase, the audience doesn't know. Right. And it killed. Yeah, so Scott Grimes has the most, and not only is he an amazing talent in terms of his voice, Scott Grimes will, you will write song lyrics. Like in your episodes, you might have a portion of a song you're like, I want them to sing like this little song.

It's gonna be, or I don't totally know what the tune is, but like, here are the lyrics. He'll just look at it on the day and be like, what do you want here? Do you want like a sort of like a folksy, like Gordon Lightfoot type of thing? And you're like, yeah, that sounds right. And he's like, okay.

And he'll just create, or a pop song or whatever, he'll do it on the fly, and it's the best thing you've ever heard. Like he just writes the song right there, the actual work. And it's incredible, it's the best thing you've ever heard. Like he just writes the song right there, the actual work. And it's incredible. It's the most amazing thing. And you're like, oh shit, you are, you're too talented for this show. But then you also have everybody on the show sings.

So Seth is a crooner, obviously. His sister Rachel is an amazing singer. I think Dee Bradley Baker, who plays plays Klaus is also a great singer. Is Seth MacFarlane a crooner? Everybody is so good. He's so shy about it. So occasionally you'll just like you'll have the whole family in a car together and you'll be like, it would be crazy of us not to have them all sing. I don't care where they're going or what they're doing, but on the way they should be singing

Rock and Robin at least, right? That's so, I mean, I have so little understanding of sitcom writing or animation writing, but it's so funny to, the way you describe it, making it seem like getting the whole family in a car together was a coup, and not something that, they can be in a car together every week, Sorin. They can't. I'm gonna give you an even further peek behind the curtain.

I just did an episode where the whole family has to be in the car, and they were like, can't be done. I was like, why not? And they're like, it's just choreography, do not everybody fits, you can't keep everybody. And then if you get into these two shots, you've got other people that are still like a little bit dirty on the edge of frame, it can't be done.

And I'm like, no, I think that's fine. I think it's fine if everybody's dirty. And they're like, where's Roger going to sit? You've got standing in front, seeing the front, where's Klaus? And I'm like, I don't know. He's sitting down below on like the little console in between. And they're like, but we can't see him.

And I'm like, that's fine. We'll cut to him when like when we need him. And it was it was the biggest fight I've had at the show. Try to get the entire family into the car at once. Then I was like, Roger can sit in the back. Like, well, but he's behind somebody's shoulder. Is he gonna be behind Jeff and Haley? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I think that sounds nice. It's just too crowded. They're very worried about the shot, obviously, for, I mean, all the reasons that I wouldn't ordinarily be thinking about. But I was bewildered that this was an issue. Yeah. That's, I was, I've been reading the Alan Siegel's book about the Simpsons. It's very good.

It's called Stupid TV Be More Funny. And there are interviews with the animators who worked on it who were very unhappy with like the world of animation before the Simpsons. And they were talking about shows like Flintstones and Jetsons and these just like Disgruntled animators, which is like a thing that I wasn't I wasn't aware existed or that or that you could be disgruntled Because I'm I'm I'm a simple person. There's like yeah all the all the flintstones flintstones and jet stones that Jetsons They only have like one

They're only drawing like one point of view. The camera in animation is always at eye level. You never see the ceilings. And I'm just like, who cares? I don't understand. I don't understand anybody else's jobs or dreams. I mean, I understand why Family Guy and American Dad were created in the first place. And Seth was very smart about this and that he was going to do like an animated sitcom because a lot of things that you're running into with the three camera, you would run into with animation where you don't want, you already have this three camera setup, right? For normal sitcoms, which means that you've got a sound stage,

you're only going to see three different shots. And that setup for animation makes animation very cheap and easy, like the characters are always gonna be seen from the same angles, you're always gonna be seeing them from the same part of the house or wherever. And then you also, it's a lot of talking heads. You don't have a lot of action in that kind of show. It's all about the jokes or it's about the people

interacting with each other, it's about the family dynamics. And then we fucked all that up. Like we started taking characters ever In saying that it's taken so long for animation to get there It's very funny like the animated sitcom the evolution to that is very funny that someone is watching the honeymooners where it's like It takes place in Ralph's home or it takes place at his job or it takes place at his art carny's home and these are the characters and the cameras are static and they talk to each other and that's it and animation steps in and they're like well we could do so much more than that and the only change is that like one of the characters in the apartment is a

talking dinosaur like that's it we can break all the rules this time the furniture is a talking dinosaur. Like, that's it. We can break all the rules. This time, the furniture is made of rocks. Oh man, the future is now. Yeah, Rosie the robot and the Jetsons, they were like, we can do anything. Nala said it all right back there in the house and just she will be a robot. Yeah, so I think that that was the original intent with the show

because it was like that would be such a cheap show to make and it man it would have been and then and then we started writing these third acts that are in other countries and stuff like that and I think that that's why we get in trouble now. I can tell you the things that I learned a lot about animation at the show about like what you're allowed to do and what you're not allowed to do and what animators like or don't like, they do not like dancing and they don't like horses and they don't like crowds.

They don't like horses? No, because it's so many legs to animate moving and in coordination that it's a real bitch. So like if you, especially like a herd of horses would be bad, but a running horse, for instance, is a nightmare, a nightmare to animate. A train, a train is a nightmare too. Like you're on a moving vehicle, you're moving within this one compartment, right? So you're moving on the train, but then everything's moving

outside the window as well. So you're moving at different speeds. Everything's moving at different speeds. And that's like, and it's tough to recycle a lot of that. But the job is animation. Like, what did you sign up because you wanted to do? Well, I think that it just gets overwhelming. They're asked to do a lot in a very short amount of time. So you're trying to make it as easy on them as possible or you, that's the idea. I think frequently we do not. And maybe that's some of the animosity that writers

and animators have on every show. But like a good example is Invincible. If you watched any of that show, the first season of that show has this unbelievable outstanding animation. Like the most amazing action animation you've ever seen in a show. And then after that, every time a character talks,

they're not facing camera because they don't even want to worry about lips moving. And there's long scenes in the last season of Invincible where it's just that it's inner dynamics. It's like the dynamics of a guy and his girlfriend or a dad and his son or a mom and her son. And there's it's such a long, boring season because it's so much more expensive to do action. It's so much harder. And? Yeah.

Slow motion, tough. Tough to pull off in animation. A camera move, like if you were to have like a, you wanted somebody like, you follow a pill as it goes into somebody's mouth and down their throat. Oh buddy. Very tough to achieve that in animation. That does seem hard. It's animation. Yeah, we don't have to use a camera. We don't have to do practical effects. No, it's just like the idea of moving from one shot from like outside the face to inside the mouth.

There's no good tangible way to do like a zoom like that. Yeah. It costs a ton. tangible way to do like a zoom like that. Yeah. It costs a ton. Well, we learned a lot today, Sorin, and we've talked for even more than a lot. Yeah, we talked for a long time. I don't know if I'd say I'm proud of this episode. Really? Well, I talked a lot about guns at the beginning and that feels very out, not only off brand,

but like I don't care about guns. I just this, I have one gun cover that it's pissing me off. And it seems like, like people might start the episode and think like, oh, it's a gun episode. They're still talking about guns. I better check out, check out of this. And then they don't realize we're gonna get into the meat of the episode.

Which is a bunch of Full House opinions that I don't feel too strongly about. Yeah. It's just like, you know, we recorded Monday, we're about to record again after this. And watching Full House is like the thing that I'm doing right now. Yeah.

This is our bottle episode. Yeah. Thanks everyone. Bye. Bye. I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we can talk tonight So what's your favourite? How did you get?

What do I be remembered? Words without a word at all? How do we know? Oh forget it! Saw a movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here

I think you'll have a great time here