Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Neighborhood Guys | Ep. 323

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Daniel receives what might be the greatest compliment of his life vis-à-vis recycling day, which prompts a conversation about the strange social rules of suburban life. They discuss porch culture on the East Coast, why Daniel spends entire summers shirtless on his front steps, and the psychological horror Soren experiences in owing someone a small favor. Plus,  Soren explains that we're all probably doing recycling wrong, a cruel April Fool’s prank involving an fake award, and the unbelievable true story of how a Kansas City Chiefs quarterback was accidentally named People Magazine’s Sexiest Athlete.Go to butcherbox.com/qq for $20 off, free shipping always, and your choice of chicken breast or top sirloin for a year OR ground beef for life, new subscribers only.Follow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts

Welcome to You're going to hear your thoughts I want to know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you all right The answer's not important I'm just glad that we can talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get?

If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time, yeah. Welcome back, it's quick question. Soren and Daniel, a little podcast, et cetera. Two best friends. I'm Daniel. Soren is the other voice.

and you're going to hear it right now. Hey, everybody, it's Sorin Bui. I'm a writer for American Dad. Daniel is a writer for last week tonight. We're two best friends on opposite coasts. We keep in touch through this podcast alone. You know what? I'm wondering about your show

because something came up on the show shrinking by the great Bill Lawrence yesterday where Jason Siegel's character is talking to his lawyer friend who I think's name is Brian. I'm not great with any of the names on this show.

Okay. And Jason Segal is like, Brian, why don't you just tell me what you want me to say? This conversation will go faster. And then Brian does something that happens in sitcoms a lot, but that never happens in real life where the actor who plays Brian, like, goes into a very credible Jason Seagull impression, like does his complete mannerisms. He can do that because everyone in the show is like wall-to-wall character actors. So he does like, it's fun to see Brian do a Jason Seagull impression.

impression. And in other episodes, Jason Siegel does a Harrison Ford impression. And you notice that coming up in like it's, I don't mean to pull another Jason Siegel one, but how I met your mother. They do it in scrubs where like the show has been on a few years. And then Zach Braff will like, let me think. What would Dr. Cox do? And then he's like does a Dr. Cox impression. It seems like such a fun thing to do if you're on a sitcom. If you've been on a sitcom for a, a while and all the character stuff is established. And then it's an episode of Brooklyn 9-9 where for some reason, Jake Peralta needs to do an impression of Captain Holt and he has one and he does it.

And I guess that's not a thing that you get to do on American debt because it's you maybe you would have Scott Grimes do an impression of a Seth MacFarlane voiced character. Yes. You would do that? We've done it occasionally before. ever in like the circumstances. The only time that I can think of is that we had an episode where Steve, where Stan's dad, Jack dies.

And that's, that guy's, uh, Jack is a voice by Darren Norris. And it's a very specific graph voice. Yeah, Stan. And, uh, and Steve gets possessed by him because he dies and then Steve is possessed. And when Steve is possessed, that's Scott Grimes doing an impression of Darren Norris doing Jack. Excellent. Um, but other than that, yeah, you're right.

We don't really, because it doesn't have the same effect in a cartoon. It's not the same like watching that come out of some other human being's mouth. And it's like, oh, you get all the same characteristics, like the way that they move and everything. Like, that's a huge part of the way that they do the joke. It's also like, if Scott Grimes had a Roger, I'd be like, well, sure, you've got a thousand voices. Yeah. Of course you have a Paul Lynch. No disrespect.

Yeah. And also, it doesn't work for other reasons. Like, if Roger has a really dead on stand, of course he does. A fucking course he does because it's the same guy. But I didn't want to talk about voices today, Soren, I got maybe the greatest compliment I've ever received in my life. And perhaps you as a neighborhood man will relate to this. my neighbor and I were texting about this and that. And he said, by the way, completely unrelated.

One of the perks of being your neighbor is I never have to guess or look up when it's recycling or garbage day because you're so reliably bring the cans out when they're supposed to go. and I I gave it a heart and I said hey man that really means a lot to me I don't know if he knows how much it means to me

but I felt so good about it yeah the neighborhood is keeping time to your clock oh my God and I wasn't even doing it

for them but like of course I'm doing it a little bit for them yeah it's nice to be recognized It's nice to be doing the thing that you're passionate about and to be recognized for that. I love it.

And I love that you are getting them out there early enough that everyone else is like, not only is it like, oh, fuck, I missed it. He's clearly got his cans out. They're like, okay, so in 24 hours, that means the truck is coming. That's right. I have a little bit of time,

but it is good to have that kind of reminder. It's like being reminded of an appointment where they're like a week in advance. They're like, hey, just so you know, you're going to the dentist next week. Do you remember that? And if they don't do that, I'm like, What the fuck?

Why didn't you tell me 15 times? Where were you? I needed that. I was not, when I made the appointment, did you see me write anything down? No. See,

see, here's where you and I differ because I am, the reason that I'm so reliable with my trash and recycling is the same reason that I'm so reliable for all my appointments.

You write it went down. When the dentist texts me a week in advance, three days in advance, a day in advance, day of, I want to be like, don't waste your fucking breath.

I know. I'm the guy who knows. Use this precious time. And I know that it's just like an automated system. But for the purposes of my anger, use this precious time and talk to somebody who's missed an appointment, which I've never done in my life.

I think that they're actually creating that blind spot in my life. At the first time, I probably did write it down. And I felt the same way as you. And then I was like, you know what? They've got this covered. I don't have to put this in my brain at all. Man. I don't even have to put it in my calendar.

They're going to tell me over and over. There was one time where my son had an orthodontist appointment and they didn't even give me the reminder. And then they're like, hey, where are you? And I was like, where am I? Where were you? Where were you? You're supposed to give me all of the warnings.

There's the part of me that is a nightmare of efficiency, wants to talk to my neighbor and be like, hey, if you want, I could also let you know when you have dentist appointments, too. I could cover everything. And then you just worry about whatever you want. Just to just I, I can't. I will never be free. But I will take over your burden. Let me be some of your brain. Yeah.

You can paint. So I had a situation on our street where our neighbors had gone out of town. And our neighbor who is really cool. Everybody's like, hey, I'm going to town. We'll somebody take my cans out this weekend. They don't have to look at it. that threat again to know that it's going to be taken care of. But somebody is going to claim it.

Somebody's going to be like, hey, I'll do it. I was doing this for my neighbor. Got to the day and I was like, I know it's my day to take the cans out. And I go over there and the cans are out. And I was like, maybe they did it before they left. Well, I'll take them in tomorrow. So the truck comes the next evening. You go to take the cans in and the cans are gone.

The cans already back. And I was like, what the fuck? Somebody has swooped in and taken the job I claimed. I said I was doing this. turns out their neighbors on the other side regularly do this for them I think that maybe they don't even know when the trash day is

because the neighbors on the other side they share like they've got like a little easement basically between their properties that is access to both their backyards and that's where both their cans go against their houses and I think that this guy Steve just like comes out brings his cans out sees the other ones aren't out yet just brings them out every single time

and he's like well if I'm bringing them in might as well bring in theirs going to the same spot and just does it. And so I was like, I contacted them. I was like, there's some sort of mystical thing happening where somebody, the magic is happening

and your cans are going in and out on their own. And they were like, oh, it's probably Steve doing it. I was like, well, don't message the WhatsApp. I wanted to be the hero here. I got into a loop that I thought might be endless. We had a couple of major snowstorms

on the East Coast this year. And one of them, I was shoveling multiple times just because our baby is due soon and could come at any time. And I just wanted to make sure that everything was clear. So I'm shoveling during the storm, an insane feat. And the first time I did it when I was out there, I just continued my sidewalk journey into one of my neighbors. Because neighbor on one side has a sidewalk that terminates. Neighbor on the other side doesn't have a sidewalk at all.

So I was like, I'm just, the snow is light. I'm just pushing it. Let me get this neighbor's sidewalk as well while I'm doing this. It's probably not going to matter. Snow's going to keep coming down. She won't even know that I did this. I'm just being helpful for no reason because God sees what is done in secret. I do this.

Apparently the woman does see this. And she later, when she is doing her sidewalk, she shovels mine. And then I shovel hers back again, because I've, I shovel a total of four times across two days. And we've gone now back and forth several times, enough that I think I'm still due to shovel her sidewalk again the next time it snows. But it was never supposed to be like this. There's no way to like to communicate.

I'm just doing this once. I just felt like doing it one time because I'm listening to a podcast and thought I would be harmlessly helpful. I don't want this to be our relationship. Big special thanks to Butcher Box. Our listeners know that my wife and I are expecting our baby, and we're doing so much to prepare. We're baby-proofing stuff, even though that's way in the distance.

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Your choice of organic ground beef, chicken breast, or shrimp in every box for an entire year, plus $20 off your first box. And free shipping, always. That's butcherbox.com slash QQ. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you. I have to think about it from her perspective And you know how I am about owing I know you don't want to owe anyone

And so I would be I'll be driven out of my mind By this I don't want to talk to you about it Because I don't want to seem crazy But also you did my sidewalk I'm doing yours immediately Which is what she did

And then you did it again I would be like Stop it Like now I have to go I have to either do that Or have to do something bigger Yeah Because I don't owe

I don't Probably it's a all born from the same place where like I don't have these a calendar in my brain I don't have a calendar anywhere to speak of. I don't want to have to remember things and like I want to just be free of all of that and suddenly I now I'm burdened. I'm burdened with knowing that I owe you something and I'm like well I have to remember that because if I forget then I'm a bad person. So I'm going to take care of it now and in fact I'm going to do a little extra so that you then I don't then if like this comes up again I've already got you. I did you. I feel like

like I am always repaying a debt to my neighbors because my neighbors are all normal people who got nice houses, nice ish houses. I'm not making crazy money. Nice ish houses in the suburbs. No one signed up for what I bring to the table, which is as soon as the weather gets a little bit warm, I spend every single minute of every day on my front porch working from there or having my coffee there or hanging out there with my dog, with my shirt off, usually after a run in in some shorts that are too short. They're too short for human consumption. And it's every day in the summer. And there's people who are like, who, who leave their house to get in their cars to go to work. And it's 6.30 in the morning. And I'm already there shirtless, tiny shorts,

somehow sweaty. And I just think, I'm not. not going to change anything about this, but like, no one signed up for this. No one, no one bought their house thinking the first thing I see when I leave the house every day is going to be this wet shirtless man. They didn't sign up for it, but they're getting it. We're all getting it. And in exchange, I'm going to shovel your sidewalk and I'll tell you when the recycling is due. every single day you're out there shirtless yeah in the summer it's crazy that feels like a a cry for attention i know it's that it's not in your circumstance i just run hot i'm just thinking about them i'm thinking about from their perspective like there is again hi daniel yes we

see you i'm always i'm always out like there's not even a chance for us to pretend that we don't see each other. Because also often I'm, like, I'll wake up and first thing in the morning, I'll have my coffee and I'll read my book, so I'm out there. And then when that's done, then I take my computer and I work out there. And sometimes working looks like I'm staring off into space. Right, right. Big part of writing. Did you, is there anybody else in your neighborhood who does this?

I mean, not exactly the same way as you, because that's your signature. But those people who are spending time in the fronts of their houses. No, and I kind of worry that it's because of me No one else I feel like the neighbors Even out there like doing anything No I think the neighbors

I mean it's possible that they're all hanging out of And of course when they see my car is gone And they're like oh the outdoors belongs to us now Jesus So give me a sense of your backyard situation Is this just not tentable in your backyard? It's full of bugs It's so fucking full of bugs

Is it because it's shaded? Wait, why is it so full of bugs? I don't know. It's because I live in an unincorporated swamp. It's because we live so close to the water, and bugs love the water, and we've had the house sprayed for, like, theoretically everything. But mostly it wipes out carpenter bees and carpenter ants, which is huge. But, like, mosquitoes and noceums and other little, like, flying, bitey critters are, you just, you can't.

There's nothing you could do. But they haven't heard that your house has a front yet? The bugs? No. Yeah. Okay. They don't know that that exists. Or maybe they also know that I'm shirtless and wet out there. And they're like, I don't want to.

Yeah, they're like, trying to raise kids here. I'm trying to think if there are any circumstances. So I built a bench, beautiful bench for the front of my house that matches my front door and thinking at some point maybe like we'll come sit out here. This impulse has never even happened for me. I will hang out in my backyard all the live long day, but I'm not going to go. intentionally sit in my front yard. I love it. I love my little porch.

I mean, we don't have as nice of a porch situation in the back as we do in the front. Okay. You got a nice little shaded area. Got a nice little shaded porch. And where I used to live a couple homes ago on like proper Jersey Shore, everyone is on their porch all the time. And it's not like we all have beach views. It's just everyone, there are these Jersey Shore towns where it's very common.

to have street to street all of these beautiful two and three-story porches and balconies. And everyone is on them all day every day. You're just, we're all sitting out there. And like, that is probably where it came from for me. A, I like being outside and be my time in Ocean Grove when I live there. We're just like, you see the neighbors. You say hi to everybody. You wave and we're all sitting out there.

And some people are doing mimoses and some are doing coffee. And it's, it's just a lovely. neighborly time. No. No. Okay. No. I think that that is a, I'm just thinking about times

that I spent on the East Coast, and I think you're right about that. I mean, the idea of Cape Cod, we would go to Cape Cod when I was a kid because, because we're elite. And every time you go to Cape, go ahead. Hella expired. Oh, you're Tilly, your soda.

I, every single, everywhere there, they have. like these big wrap around porches and I would sleep out there. I would do everything on these porches because the idea of having like a big screen and porch was like an extension of the house, but the windows are all open all of the time. And I could watch storms come in on there. I loved it.

And I think it all lends itself to everybody hanging out together. Colorado, also like the Colorado home design from the mid-century is all like that too, like gigantic front porches that people just chill on. That is not. Maybe I'm wrong. This is not like a Southern California thing. People do not hang out on their front. It's too hot.

We go hang out in our cars, God damn it. Yeah. We go sit in our car wherever it's parked and we just hang out there. Well, Daniel, I have a question for you about, it's regarding your recycling cans. Okay. And I think that whatever answer you give, I think might be wrong. Great. How are you at recycling?

I am... How would you rate yourself? I want to say, wait, as far as like doing it correctly? Yeah, are you doing a good job? No. I am, the recycling stuff that consumes me is we, it's just my wife and I, and we accumulate so much recycling material. And we only have the one can because we're only allowed one.

can and they take it every other week. And our recycling can fills up so quickly. It's one of the greatest sources of anxiety for me in my life right now. And I will sometimes tell the wife, I'll say, wife, I'll put my foot down and say, no more recycling anymore until they take it away. And it's a command that she doesn't respect or follow because it's an insane thing to say. But you weren't the can's going to overflow. I'm going to stop recycling. And I'm like breaking things down and fitting it in there. And

a few times a month, I will make a separate trip to the recycling center itself to drop off cardboard boxes because we have so much of them. And I want to free some space up in the bin. So I'll take the boxes.

We do a lot of like Amazon subscribe and save and we've it seemed like we've just gotten a lot of between wedding, housewarming, and baby stuff. Oh, right. Just get a lot of stuff that comes in all the time. Okay, so walk me through this scenario where you get like a big box and you know that

has to be recycled. Howard, what are you doing to this box to prepare it to render it for recycling? If I'm taking it to the recycling center, nothing because they don't, they don't care. You just toss them into the recycling center. There's like a big pit and you want it. There's a sign that says you have to fold the box down. but one of the other things about this recycling center is people dump stuff and people come and they pick up the boxes and they use the boxes when they're moving. So I like to put the full boxes in there because then people can sort of see what they're getting.

That's wrong. And when you're breaking it down for your own recycling bin, how are you doing it? Just cutting the tape and folding it up as tight as it'll go. Okay, also wrong. What about like a milk carton that has a little like screw cap on it that on the front of it? How are you doing with that? I dump it out and wash it out. All like the cans, cartons and bottles get dumped and washed and then put in the recycling.

And here's something that's really crucial. Before you tell me that's wrong. That's crazy that you think that's the part that's wrong. Because the other thing that I'll do is if the recycling can is full to quell my anxiety, I will sometimes put cans in the garbage. And that's like, that's extra wrong. That's even more wrong than the other wrong things that I'm doing. And are you, do you know what kind of plastics you're allowed to put in your bin?

Here's what is pretty remarkable about me. Is I know that, I know that. I don't look anybody does, by the way. There is a difference. I know that like bottles are labeled with specific little coat. that tell you what can and can't be recycled. And I think knowing that is enough. I don't follow it or do anything about it.

But being aware that not everything is just all-purpose recycling. Yeah. I think it puts me above some of these other chuckleheads out here. Wouldn't it be great if your street or your city or wherever you live let you know what numbers they accept pretty regularly? Like it was like on your trash cans, which they're supplying to you, by the way, in most cases. Like if they just put on there like, hey, if you really wanted to recycle, you can you could do twos, fours, and fives and that's it. Or whatever. Like if you knew for your particular neighborhood what you were allowed to recycle, that would be awesome.

Let me tell you why the other things you're doing are wrong. Oh, wait. I got one more question for you. I've given you a lot. Your fruit containers that you're like getting your raspberry. Your berries in. Yeah. What are you doing with those?

In the big blue recycling bin. Right? You finish the last berry? You're maybe rinsing it out and then throwing it in there? Yeah. Yeah, wrong. Okay. So.

I don't fuck you. I don't care. I know this. I'm paying, like I don't, I'm bringing this up. And I'm telling you you're wrong because I also do it wrong. And I'm, I'm angry that I'm doing it wrong and that no one. Like, apparently I'm ruining entire batches of recycling the way that I do it. That can't be.

Which is, you do take, hi. Okay. if I take a cardboard box and I break it down, that's not good enough. I'm supposed to also take all of the tape off, the plastic tape off of it, because you're not supposed to do mixed on the same object. Like, you're not supposed to have that plastic on the cardboard or it ruins it. The same way where if you're doing your milk carton and you have that little screw top on the front of it, you're supposed to now open up the entire milk carton, cut that little piece of

plastic out, separate it. Your bottles, if you have a glass bottle, with the steel on top of it, not steel, aluminum. You have to separate those. And ideally, you should try and muscle off that little ring around the lip that was the brake seal. When you're throwing your fruit away, you're supposed to take out that little spongy thing that's inside the plastic at the bottom that I think an absorber.

I don't really know what its job is. But, you know, a little bed that they all sit on in your fruit, in your plastic. I think I probably get rid of that. Yeah, you peel that out. And then that usually has some like rubber cement underneath it that was keeping it in place. I'm supposed to like scratch that stuff up. There's a ton of work apparently that's going into recycling that I'm not doing. And in not doing it, I'm ruining huge batches of them.

A yogurt container? If I scrub out a tub of yogurt and I'm like, I can see or cat food, I can see that there's still like a couple of little pieces in there. I'm like, whatever, man. How's that going to fuck up at recycling? It does apparently. Apparently it has to be pristine. It has to be like nothing was ever in it. When you say ruin.

What is happening? Are they not finding any use for it? Yeah, I think they're throwing not only that, but they're throwing out like whole batches of recycling. If there's stuff like that, if there's the food, the remnants of your whatever you had is all over all the other stuff now, they're like,

they're just going to throw it out. And so much recycling gets tossed. Yes. So much recycling just gets thrown in the garbage. So funny. It's not. I know it's not great. Yeah.

So the reason I know all, this is because my father-in-law is maybe the best recycler on planet Earth. He knows everything. He knows enough that when he comes to visit, the first thing he hands me when he walks in the door are some plastic bags that he couldn't recycle in Arizona. So he's bringing them to me because he knows that we can recycle them here. Wow. He brings me trash. He brings me trash when he comes to visit. And when I go to their house, I have to be on my best fucking recycling behavior because he'll notice. He'll notice if something weird is in the can and shouldn't be there and he's going to take it out. And then I know that he's going to have to scratch off whatever sticker or whatever I left on the bottle I put in there. And so I got to be good. And he cares. He cares deeply about it. And that's good because I think he's probably he's doing more for the planet than any of us. And he's so good at it and diligent about it. And again, God only, uh, What was it?

Private moments. God sees what has done in secret. Ah, there it is. He, I think that he is silently proud of his work because his wife, for April Fool's one year, put a letter in the mailbox from the city saying to him, you are an exemplary recycler. You're doing amazing work. And we love that you're doing this.

Please keep it up. And he was so proud of it. She was like. I made that up. That is the meanest thing I've ever heard in my life. That's a different, it's a different interpretation of pranks. It's a different read on what April Fool's Day is for. You're supposed to send something that is like, this just in.

You've been wasting your time. You didn't need to do all that stuff. or you've been fined because you've been putting the wrong thing in the wrong thing. You're supposed to make someone feel bad and then the relief is making them feel good. You're not supposed to

see what's written in his heart and show it to him and then tear it up. It makes him, I don't know, I think some good pranks are like make somebody feel very seen and then make them feel silly for him. for wanting that.

That's what I used to do to you early on your birthday. I know. My father-in-law is a phenomenal gardener and, like, landscape guy, landscape architect. Okay. And some neighborhood hooligans stole, like, the local lawn of the year. sign because they award like lawn of the year or lawn of the month, whatever it is. They stole and they ran and they like pranked by putting it in his yard.

And he was so proud and happy. He eventually like won it for real. But this this as a prank is like a devastating thing. It was like, oh, I got lawn of the ears like, ha! No, you didn't. Oh. Well, I worked really hard and then I felt good. Yeah.

But I guess that means successful prank. Have you, are you familiar with the Sports Illustrated? No. People's magazine's athlete, sexiest athlete of the year debacle that happened in the mid-90s. People Magazine has a sexiest athlete of a year. So, okay, let me backtrack for a second. This is like the perfect example of this, and I love thinking about it so much. People Magazine would do sexiest man of the year, right?

Yeah. You see those all the time. But then within that magazine, if you've ever cracked it, they're just, not just doing the sexiest man. They're like breaking it down by career, basically. And so, like, their sexiest athlete is in there as well. People Magazine and Sports Illustrated were owned by the same brand for a long time. And so, like, they were working in the same offices. And the people of People Magazine knew nothing about sports, like, all next to nothing.

And so they would always go to ESPN. They'd be like, give us, give us some hot guys. Like, who's hot in hockey? Who's hot in baseball? And ESPN would be like, yeah, that's easy. Like, we know who are the attractive ones. Like, there's Tom Brady. Like, here, here's one.

And so. Serchi Baca. Yeah. So they're doing this. This must have been, I think it was the mid-90s, or like late 90s. And, like, 19 to 8 or 99. And ESPN gives them this list and like, oh, the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback is a pretty, pretty attractive. Now, I don't know if People magazine just didn't.

know that there's like multiple quarterbacks on a team and that there's a backup quarterback or maybe it had to do with the fact that throughout that season one of the quarterbacks had been injured for a little while so the other one was playing or whatever but they had a quarterback at that time named rich ganon who was like a objectively attractive guy big strong jaw always a little bit of stubble on it really looked good wet like when he was like sweating like he take his helmet off like just had like a good head of hair and everything everyone loves a wet guy everybody he loves a wet boy and he was I think that's who they were talking about was rich Gannon when the photographer went to do the photos for it they're like I need to take

pictures for people magazine of your the sexiest athlete and it's your quarterback and they were like Elvis Gerbaugh who is the backup but had been playing quarterback I think I'm really glad you made sure to get that name right Elvis Gerbach. And they were like, you want to take pictures of Elvis Burke Gerbaugh? And they're like, yeah, he's the sexiest athlete across every sport. And so they're like, okay. And Elvis Gerbaugh got this great nomination of like, hey, I am the sexiest athlete.

This is incredible. And like they do an interview with his wife and stuff. And like no one seems like they quite believe it. And he does, there's a whole photo shoot. There's a spread with Elvis Gerbaugh in there looking, pretty fucking Midwest and pretty like, like nothing special. Just pretty vanilla. And it doesn't come out until years later from this guy who worked at ESPN and actually

had a friend at people. Like he finally did an article about this, but they fucked up. Like it was supposed to be Rich Gannon. So nobody knows that this is the case for years until it finally is leaked that, oh, they really messed up. So that entire time. And so what happened? Did someone get shot?

No one got shot. But the fact that Elvis Gerbaugh went through years thinking, okay, this isn't a mistake. People think I'm beautiful. Like, that's great. I've never been called gorgeous in my entire life. That's wonderful. And, like, feeling like that swell of pride, allowing yourself to feel it finally and that it's true. And then having this pulled out from under you years later and they're like, oh, they're too fucked.

They fucked up, but they were too embarrassed to ever change it. So they just went with you. Yeah. Is horrifying. mind. And I'm sure now people. You can just never write that story. You can just go ahead and like let that be a, I get that it's juicy.

But you can, option one, never tell anyone. Just like let that be a secret between you and your buddy who works at the magazine. Option two, wait for eldest to eat it. Wait for him to die or something. And then like, okay, now we can, we can adjust the record. He doesn't need to know that he's not sexy. No, I know. Especially once he's like retired and working at a car dealership or whatever he's doing.

So Jeff Pearlman is the is the guy who broke that story. And I think that he was just so excited by it. He was like, the world has to know. And people did. Like people loved knowing that. There's a huge appetite for knowing that kind of thing. I think also probably it's probably vindicating for Rich Gannon who saw his teammate get that award and was like, oh shit

it's time for me to retire I think that I peaked I think that I'm no longer attractive man yeah that's

that's just brutal I'm so happy I know that that stinks what a bummer for everybody except Jet Perlman I think Anne

Rich Gannon Rich Gannon's probably like wow I was they thought I was the sexiest and then he's like looking at everybody else in sports during that time period

probably again because I'm sure he did it during that time. And is like, oh, my God, because I'm sure he was completely silent about it. And he was the starting quarterback, too. So he would have been like, that would have just be eating me alive. And you can't fucking say a thing about it

or it looks really petty. Not only eating him alive, but probably in his, like, heart of hearts thinking, he probably could have done, could have connected some dots. He quietly at home was like, You know what I bet happened? I bet they said quarterback

because I'm very sexy. He is not. They didn't like get his name wrong because he's the only one who has a name like that. So they probably said quarterback. I can't tell anyone this. Even if I'm being helpful

and I think I am, I can't. I can't even tell me. I can't tell my wife. I can't. I can't because if I'm wrong, that's awful. And if I'm right, that's awful. But like, does no one else see what probably happened here?

It's so funny. And knowing that they, the photographer was like, this is the guy. And just everybody's stuck with it. And somebody's like, hey, who's going to know, I'm people. Who's going to know better? Me or you about who's sexy. Take a picture of that weird goober. And his shocked wife.

So his wife said, at the end of the interview, she said, they asked her what the most attractive part of him is. And she said, his personality. Yeah. God. Yeah. Anyway, so, yes, this is all to say, you don't know how to recycle. I told you that story about Elvis Gerbaugh because you don't want to recycle. I mean, I never really believed that I did know how to recycle.

I mean, we all got duped for a while. We all thought the plastics were being recycled and turned out they were all going to China and going to waste like landfills and stuff. And then they were like, okay, we're not doing that anymore. You caught us. Sorry about that. We are going to recycle your plastics, but we're not going to tell you which ones. And if you put the wrong ones in there, we're going to put the whole thing in the dump again. Yeah.

I hate that. I hate that. It's not clear how to recycle. So you probably also have a natural waste trash can as well. It's usually it's like green or something like that, but it's going to be like your lawn clippings and stuff like that. I don't have one. We compost in this house. So we do that on our own. But I will say when I, the reason I am pretty lazy about recycling, getting it right is, A, it's like the normal leasiness. But B. When I lived in New York in an apartment building, they had pretty specifically laid out garbage and recycling shoots in every hallway that had like, this is for paper. This is for these kinds of plastics. This is for these kinds of metals. This is your garbage. This is your compost. I was like, this is great.

This is so helpful. I love rules. If it's laid out for me, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do exactly what I'm supposed to do this way. then I've moved to the suburbs and they're like, here is your can for your recycling and I'm just like,

man, I know that, I know it's not a catch-all but like, if you're lying, then we're both lying. Like, I'm not going to be the person

who, I'm not going to fight City Hall about this. Sure, I'm going to throw my fucking batteries in there. Are you kidding me? Come on. They're also, we've worked in offices before

where you're like, there's like, you're like, where am I putting all my cans and stuff? And they're like, oh no, it gets sorted later. You just put everything

in the trash, you get stored later. And you're just like, oh, man, that is not happening. I'm guarantee that's not happening. Is there anyone in your life? Like, there's someone in my life like this, and forgive me if you're listening, but I've gone to their house and, like, had a can of something. Then I was like, where's your recycling? And they go, oh, we don't, they don't do it in this town.

I'm just like, yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. You're busy, but they recycle. Yeah. The reason I ask about your compost is because our city has a green, bins for bio waste, I guess is what you'd call it. And they gave us all kinds of information. They gave us a magnet and everything to put on your trash can or wherever that

shows you all the stuff that it accepts. And it's this wide array of things. It's everything from grass clippings to chicken bones. Like you can put a bunch of bullshit in there. But they will tell you, there's a little picture on there of everything that can go in there. And recycling for whatever reason, they're like, we know what we can accept. but we like to keep a secret for us.

We like to just have a little something for us. Just open it every week and like, no, swing and a miss, try next time. Oh, nice try. It's like taxes.

They're like, oh, you tried. I can see you tried. It's not right. But of course, the penalty for trying is $12,000. Jail.

It just pisses me off. Every time that I recycle anything, I'm never more apprehensive than when I'm putting something in the recycling because I'm like, fuck, is this blown it for everything in here? For all you guys in here? All you bottles and cans? Am I ruining it right now?

I had a, I've held a secret optimistic belief in my heart that someone is doing something with it. Someone has looked at this problem and they have deduced that no one's going to follow all the rules everywhere for recycling. so let's change our system and find a way to repurpose this catch-all garbage-adjacent version of recycling and turn it into fuel or turn it into newspapers or something. Is that, is it all just garbage? No, maybe not. Maybe some of it, there are like certain places that are, they're institutions where they're like, no, we want to get this right. Let's make sure we get it right. but the amount of, just look at your own trash can, how it fills up so much every single week,

we're producing so much waste all the time that they are like, if we can recycle 5% of this, that's about our max capacity. We're going to get to, we don't have the number of people necessary to doing all this recycling and like to pull out all these individual things and make sure that they're all right. So I think that they're doing the best that they can probably, but it's not very good. and it's certainly not what we thought it was. We all saw that commercial when we were kids of a kid throwing his can into a recycling bin.

The can melts down like Alex Mack, turns into a metal that then gets, it travels along the ground, this liquid T2 metal travels along the ground, back to a store and then re-iforms into a Coke can that's used again. As a kid, I was like, yeah, we did it. The circle is complete.

We live within one little circle. But no, that's not what we're doing. Man. What a bummer. Yeah, no. If everybody has like a community in which they live and they're screaming at their phone right now. I don't know how you listen to this podcast. They're gathered around.

The fire. The radio that's three feet tall. Everyone in the family, the bell rings in the family is like, Park. It's 345 on Tuesday. A new episode has dropped. Come, come hither. Jim the lights. Let them take us on an adventure. If that's the case, and you know that within your neighborhood or your city, your municipality, that they're doing this correctly, I'd love to know. I'd love to know. You can actually message me. I don't care. I want to know for sure that this is actually, that I'm, it's not just like this everywhere, but I'm pretty confident that most people aren't recycling. properly and it's ruining everything. It's ruining all recycling. I feel like someone would say something if that were the case.

I mean, it's entirely possible that someone is saying something, but they're just not saying it. Plastics. I mean, I felt the wool was pulled from my eyes with plastics where I was like, we figured it out. Remember back in the day when everyone was like, you know, we don't know how to recycle styrofoam now? And we were like, yes. Finally. What created advancements?

And so we were all like, we're recycling styrofoam. We're putting styrofoam in there now. No one ever was. No one was ever doing anything with that. It was always just being shipped off to another country and then buried somewhere in the dirt. I'm glad that you can compost. That's great. Hey, thanks.

Do you, okay, I have a question for you. Do you think that maybe your compost pile is at least partially responsible for the number of flies in your backyard? No, I do not. Okay. I think the compost, which goes in a big wheelie thing that we crank, and then it makes our garden grow. I think that's what it's doing. And bugs certainly, I mean, worms somehow materialize from the garbage

via a process that I don't entirely understand. They get up inside of it? They get up in the crank? Yeah. Well, that's cool. Isn't it? Are worms just made of like egg sheds? shells and pits?

I would think based on my limited research they are. If they were made of anything, it would be like apple cores and stuff that gets slimy. Yeah. It seems like a more natural transition into worm. We had worm bins for a long time. I think when you were out here, when I knew you, for real. Back when we were kids, I had, Colleen and I had worm bins, which is basically you have these bins with screens in them.

And then they all stack on top of each other. and you put some newspaper down in there and then you put all the trash in there and then you order worms in the mail and a bunch of worms come to you and they're all in a ball because they're stressed out and they huddle and they're scared

and then you have to kind of like prime apart and put them down in the soil and then they turn all of your trash into soil and then as soon as that bin is full you just stack another one on top and you start piling on top of that one and we used to get this stuff called worm tea out of it which was

just keep up to. Don't look at me. Objectively, pretty disgusting. I was so excited when I was getting it because we were producing it. But when you say worm tea in my brain is like, why do they call it that? There's no good. No. There's no way it's like made by worms.

It's all the liquids from whatever they're excreting and also probably the liquids that are coming out of the eggshells and shit that you're putting. putting in there, those, all that's dripping to the bottom into this black sludge that then you turn this little knob on the bottom of your bin and this viscous black oil comes out. And this stuff is, I guess, pure nitrogen because you put it on, you're not even allowed to put it on indoor plants because they can't handle it. It's like, it's like, they're like, they will die. But if you put it on your trees and stuff outside, they go nuts for it. And like, they'll grow crazy.

So worm tea is super valuable. So we just had these mason jars full of this black sludge all over our garage. And then also because we were keeping this bin in the garage so that animals don't get into it, we had our own little habitat in there that was around the worms. There's the worms themselves. And then within the bins, you've also got flies, fruit flies getting in there. And if there's fruit flies in there, then there's spiders. And then there's also other insects that are guest partaking of the feast, earwigs, silverfish.

Like, there's all kinds of other little insects that are like, oh, there's a party. This is perfect for me. And so you have a terrible little habitat around your worm bins at all times. And if you take the top off to put new compost in, you learn pretty quick that you've got to keep your face back because there's just going to be a cloud of flies that will come out of that thing. And then they have to settle again. And you scrape your stuff down and get it flat enough that you can put the lid back on. The whole process was super vile. and the bins would

they're not supposed to stink much but they do stink and you have to be very careful about what you put in you can't put any meat in or something like that also they suck at breaking down eggshells so like eggshells

we just stop putting in all for this yeah if you had a garden I bet this would be great for us we were we were not garden people at the time I was not a green thumb

and so we were just like I'm hucking mud at our trees and being like I hope this helps and it's also it's got to be so demoral And I know that this is, I have the wrong spirit for recycling and conservation and saving the world.

But you are doing all of this to do your part. And it must be so demoralizing, looking around and knowing that no one else is doing their part. Or not enough people are doing their part. And I know the system will only work if we all think of ourselves as an army of one. If enough people are an army of one, then we are. a whole community. But still, it's like, you're covered in worm

poison in your backyard and you're looking at your neighbors who are not doing it. And it's just like, is it, am I really truly making a difference? It's my one vote. It turned out it wasn't. We gave the bin away.

Somebody else was very excited to have it, which was nice. And maybe they're farmers or something, or they understand horticulture in a way that I don't. The process was never worth it. The only thing that I was amazed by was that the amount of compost that we would put in one of these bins that was no more than like five inches tall, the amount of compost over time that you could put in that and then would break down was staggering. Yeah. Like the amount of soil you get out of it is amazing.

It still feels like a fucking miracle. When we first started composting and putting it in the wheel thing and I would turn the wheel, I was always looking in the little bin window and shaking my head like, you know, I put. but apples and tomatoes and some mulch. And it looks like apples and tomatoes and mulch. Even a month later, I don't know. This feels like a trick on me. And then at some point, it just becomes one thing somehow. It just all becomes soil.

And it feels miraculous. How does that system work? Because I imagine you just keep you, you're adding, no, I mean, like, you're adding stuff to it all the time. Is the soil falling into a different area when it's finally done and cooked? Or are you just like, you can't, if you want to? wanted to use some of the soil. You got to pick your apple from yesterday out of it to put it out on the tomatoes. There are in our cylindrical compost system, there's a dividing wall in the middle. So if I'm,

when half of it looks like it's becoming soil and I still have more like apple cores, I could just throw the apple core in the other half and have like, this is my trash side and this is my soil side to pull from. All right. But are you getting to a point where stuff's just like half digested in there? Yeah. And you're, that sucks. It sucks bad. There's no good systems. No, there's not.

There's no good systems. I don't even know if this is good. We also used to collect rainwater too because we live in Los Angeles. And I was like big on that. We had, all my downspouts go to this one rain bin. And I was like, the first day that it drizzled, I was like, oh, this is exciting. I'm going to go look at the bin. I'm going to go see if we got any.

It's like overflowing with water. There's collect so much water immediately. that it becomes useless, almost like, within the first 10 minutes of it raining. We got a rain bin to water some of the outside plants and garden stuff. And it is now a problem because we don't need it to collect rain in the winter. Obviously, because we're not watering anything. And it is probably a problem for water to get in there and then freeze and maybe explode that thing. Yeah.

But because there's so much water, it's become immovable for me. I can't transport our fucking bin anywhere else. So it's just going to sit there and maybe one day explode, maybe one day not. I don't know. I don't know what's going on in there. It doesn't really seem like it's any of my business. Then you get a good eye on it. And also, once it thaws, then you got to, like, you got to start throwing mosquito pellets in there because it's just this breeding ground for insects.

And mosquito pellets stink. It don't smell good. Don't use your backyard is what I'm saying. Your backyard's poison. Don't ever go back there. I have to go back there to work really hard on my lawn. Yeah. So that one day my neighbor will say, in addition to being really helpful for recycling,

I see the work you've put into your lawn. I see you. Nice job. Or even better than that, if another neighbor who really cares about his lawn, If he comes over and asks what I do, that's, buddy, I'm coming. That is the dream right there. There was a woman in our neighborhood walking her dog, maybe six months after we moved in. And when we moved in, we like uprooted everything out front.

We rescaped with native plants and mulch and stuff like that and created these swells in the ground so that we, that the rainwater had a way to somewhere to go with it was away from the house. And she came by after stuff had a chance to kind of take root. And she was like, I love this. It looks like the wetlands. It looks so cool. And I was like, thank you.

She's like, because when you guys moved in, I was like, what are they doing? She was not happy with it when we moved in. She was like, we had taken out these rose bushes and stuff like that. And she was like, what the fuck? And she had to walk her dog past this fucking eyesore. And now she's like, You knew what you were doing the whole time.

And I was like, I didn't, but thank you. That feels really good. Thank you. We have a neighbor who tried to do the native plants thing, and she did not do a good job, and it sucks, and it's real bad. It's a really a bummer to look at, and, like, cardboard 10 months later is still sticking up out of her mulch and, like, bits of newspaper. It's a real nightmare. Oh, God.

Yeah, we have so many butterflies, specifically because of what we chose. We have our own little habitat out front. It's wonderful. And I'll never spend time out there because I don't want to make my neighbors feel weird. Yeah, you don't want all this. Smoke. Thank you, everybody, for listening. That'll do it for our podcast for today.

This is a quick question with Sorin and Daniel. If you liked our theme song, that's by me, Rex. If you like to watch a video version of this, you can do that on YouTube. If you want more of this podcast, then you're currently getting, oh, you just can't get enough. You're not full yet. You can go become a Patreon subscriber. and we do a secret little version of this podcast on the side. If you like this podcast in general,

and the whole, the way it's edited, the way the commercials aren't us saying swear words over and over again, that is because of the Inconquerable Gabe Harder. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. friends and comedy if there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here