Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - News Alert! Don’t walk, Run!

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

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I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up to? Where did all that guard wings go? Oh, forget it.

I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here. So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast, senior writer for Last Week Tonight, seniorist writer for How to Fight Presidents, and concerned friend Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host,

a good man, a sweet man, a man who's never intentionally harmed another human being, Mr. Soren Bui. Soren, buddy, you doing okay? How's everything going, huh? Yeah, I'm fine. You comfortable? Um, I don't have a blanket in here with me.

Okay, I'll send one right over. Yeah, uh, it is nice of you to here with me. Okay, I'll send one right over. Yeah. It is nice of you to coddle me like this, Daniel. Thank you very much for doing that. You got it. It's nice to feel that from somebody at least. Shots fired at my family. Yeah.

So Dan is being so nice to me because I am sore and buoy. I am a writer for American Dad. Period. He feels bad about that uh i have i just watch you do a day in and day out i see you in there with the grind i have coveted for the very first time i just saw everyone else doing it and i I thought, God, you know what? I thought this would pass. I thought it would be a phase, but I finally decided to just pull the trigger. Get it done. I mean, that's how I was with Freaks and Geeks.

I sort of missed it when it was hot and then revisited it on my own time, and I feel like that was a better way to experience it, like stripped of context and you're outside of the zeitgeist. And I could just like really evaluate this and experience it the way that like perhaps the artist wanted me to experience it. So I get it. I see where you're coming from. It takes away a lot of the expectation, honestly. When you don't do it when everybody else is doing it, then you're like, okay, let me jump in kind of like try to see with fresh eyes.

Yeah. And I honestly like I don't know what the big complaint is. I love it. Right. That's the thing. Like a lot of people were so mad at the finale of Game of Thrones because we were all doing it together. But if you just like binge the whole thing in one sitting, it's like, what do you want? It's, it's not, you know, some of it's good. Some of it's bad, whatever. On the whole, you had a good time. Thanks to Ethos for supporting Quick Question. With Ethos, you could get life insurance in 10 minutes for as little as $10 a month. Get a free personalized quote at ethoslife.com slash QQ. Thanks to Avast for supporting Quick Question. With Avast One, you can confidently take control

of your online world by helping you stay safe from viruses, phishing attacks, ransomware, Thanks to Avast One. reserved for big business. Sign up for a free trial at shopify.com slash QQ. Thanks to Magic Mind for supporting Quick Question. Magic Mind is the world's first productivity drink that helps you fight off stress, keeps you dialed in, but not wired. Go to magicmind.co slash 14 days of magic and use code QQ14 at checkout for 20% off. So with that in mind, Dan, I thought maybe we'd just jump into the show with something kind of new. Because I want to talk about COVID a little bit. You've had COVID. I did, yeah.

I had it almost a year ago. 11 months ago I got it. Wow, it wasn't really that long ago. I know. And when you got it, I'm sure that uh you got did you get a pcr test you got like you you're in the system as far as having covid right yes yeah i went uh i went to uh city md in manhattan where i was living at the time and i got the rapid test and the pcr test and a few days maybe like a full week after the test uh i got a call from the the contact trace department

and they went through the they were like you have covid and i was like bullshit you have covid i'm living my life yeah who's who fucking snitched yeah and they they went through the whole thing of like uh where were where do you think you got it because i i tested because a bunch of my friends were were positive and we all hung out together it's like i think i was at this place and i had to give it the address and they wanted to know uh who else where else i'd i'd gone so i could say like the morton williams grocery store and nowhere else and they wanted to know uh the names and contact info for other people that I'd been in contact. And luckily I hadn't been around anyone because I live alone and like all I do is walk my dog and run and work except this one COVID party that I went to. So I could in good faith say, you know, nobody. I haven't been in contact with anyone else.

So you don't have to worry about that. But I it did make me run a thought experiment of like, if I had been around other people, would I give that information up? Because I don't know that I would, because it seems like it's none of this department that is tasked with tracing the spread of this virus it's none of their business i would reach out to a lot of pertinent information like can i have can i please have their phone number and can i have their address like that'll sound right i think if i had been in contact with someone i think this is a vulnerable but true answer i would probably reach out to that person and let them know and let them do with that information what they want, because they might not want to be in some database of people

with COVID for whatever reason. Yeah. So it isn't that you get this exhaustive, they can either text it to you and like you can fill it out online. It's just this exhaustive interview or you do it over the phone. And it's like, they're asking tons of questions about, yeah, where you've been, who you've been around. And not only that, like some of that information they already have because of your phone.

So like when I, when I said that I had COVID and like put it out there to Apple or whatever, tons of people on my Vegas trip all got notifications saying, wow, you've been exposed wow covet uh without even me giving them that information to get giving them who who i was around but that was weird too because like some people from my work get told and others that didn't and it might just be like a real clear delineation between the people i generally talk to outside of work and the ones that i don't um but uh it was an exhaustive list. The CDC really wants to know everything about you and do some genuine contract tracing, which was nice to see.

And I thought, they want to know what sort of variations you have too, because they want to know what sort of symptoms you're having. And I thought, I've got a platform, a big platform, and I could help Science 2 with a new segment that I'm going to call Who Got COVID Better? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. I'm going to work on the theme song, I think. I don't think so. I mean, my only note is I think that's the same theme song as the news segment that we used to do. What did we do?

What was that for? Well, I've tried this theme song several times. It has yet to stick. But each time I do it afterwards, I think that's not the one for this. I'll save it. That's going right back in the hip pocket. Yeah. I want to, I want to talk about Dan who got the better COVID here. Cause there's lots of variations out there. There's Omicron, et cetera. And I want to know like how my covid stacks up to your covid um so i'm gonna ask you some questions okay yeah uh did you get fever and chills no okay so that was like the big that

was the hallmark that was like the signature of that was the hallmark. That was like the signature of my COVID was freezing at night, wearing, having like three quilts on while it was 72 degrees outside because I couldn't get warm. And like, if I would take the quilts off and like get out of bed to go pee, cause I was drinking a lot of water. It was, I was just like shivering so uncontrollably that I couldn't go. Wow. I had to like bring a blanket over me to go to the bathroom. Can I ask you, before this game goes any further, what does winning look like here? When you say how our COVIDs stack up.

Yeah. What does that mean? By the end, I'm going to make an assessment as to whether my my symptoms were uh better like were they did i have more of them did they seem like i had it worse okay and uh and am i stronger for it this is going to be an an interesting slow rollout of information okay rollout of information okay all right did you get uh brain fog uh once very briefly there was one moment we talked we talked about it on the podcast uh shortly after my covet where i didn't think i had brain fog like i didn't take off a minute of work uh and then i just

uh because we put a lot of our jokes in a shared document in a piece of software called Scripto that is like a live document software thing, whatever. And I revisited it the day after I had done some work on it and some of my jokes were garbage. Not just like bad jokes, but like, oh, I'm missing a couple of words here i know

what i meant and hopefully everyone who read it knows what i meant but like this is not this is not a joke that is ready for for people's eyes yeah yeah i so i'm i'm working on a just a pilot not a pilot to like sell not a pilot it's just a pilot to have basically because as a writer you always have to have you gotta have some shit just on hand. And to just be like, hey, look, I'm a writer. Look, you can just look at this. Because as hard as I try, you can't just go to someone who makes TV decisions and say, hey, give me a show. Like, best case scenario, absolute best case scenario scenario they'll say all right what do you

have i'm like ah fuck no i just want you like just give it to me and then like pay me and then i'll write a great show please i was working on a pilot and each day my sort of my my the way that i write is that i'll write for a little while without thinking about it and then i'll come back and revisit it the next day do the editing and then do the same thing again and came back to i was like i should just try to write i mean there's nothing i got nothing else going on i might as well be in my garage because i can't be around my family i can't even be in my house really yeah okay the cdc national immunity is calling me right now oh god um and i'm working on it cdc hold on i'm spreading the word um i uh i was writing and then came back to it and i was

like what the fuck is this like whole sections i mean and it's not good it's not like it's not like kujo where stephen king doesn't remember writing it but he reads he mean and it's not good it's not like a it's not like kujo where stephen king doesn't remember writing it but he reads he's like it's pretty fun yeah like i i don't there are sections of it that i don't really remember because i was like feverish i was like just get this done just get this done wow and not only did i not remember it it's the same thing it's like missing words yeah it's like stuff just like sentences that just kind of just go, just keep going for miles. And I also found that, I mean, I'm bad enough with, there's just words that just flitter

away from my brain, especially names and things like that. I assume it's because I'm getting old. This is what my mother was always like when I was growing up. It's like the other day on the podcast, I called him Jackmingway called ernest jack hemming so so like you see where i'm coming from yeah everyone has a parent like this and uh it's gotten way worse with coven where like i just people i know where i'm like thinking about them and i'm like a co-worker and i'll be like i should tell this person i should tell this person i I should tell this person. I should tell. I should tell. What's his name?

I couldn't even remember people's names. It was bad. And for a couple of days where it just things were escaping me. And I was like, I hope that this isn't forever. Okay. I'm moving on, Dan. Expectorate. Do you have a lot of it?

It's like phlegm? Yeah. Zero. Yeah, me too. None. Hell yeah. No sore throat, no snot, no mucus from the chest, nothing. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Let's give it up for me and Soren, your throat kings. Here we go. That's going to stick. The throat kings. Well, we should find a way to incorporate that in the logo yeah quick question with uh throat daddies with the throat daddies gross uh okay now here are the ones that i didn't anticipate and that really freaked me out. Did you get water in your ear?

Interesting question. Soren, no. Oh, fuck you. Yes. I've had what feels like water in my ear for the past four days. Wow. And I don't know what to do about it i think have you uh now doctors say don't do this but uh let's put that to the side have you uh jammed some some q-tips in there to see what's going on yeah yeah how'd that go not nothing and like i've done the jump on a bed i've

done all the things that you do as a child when you go swimming um i keep i don't know what it is there's just something in there that's like kind of moving around a little bit wow and i can't get to it i also uh aside from the fevers and chills i had um my body's just not came i'm i'm like feeling much better now this let me give you some context i had i've had i had a bad first three days yeah uh i was i could i couldn't move very well like getting up and doing stuff was tough i would at one point my i had to go change my daughter and just picking her up and carrying her up the stairs i was like well we're not going to change you just yet because i got to sit down um uh it it's been tough and like on in addition to how hard it is i'm also wearing an n95 mask

one of the ones with the double straps over that you know that go not around your ears but around your head yeah and the n95s those are like serious business yeah on top of everything else not flattering just the way it cuts the face meat like a big painter's mask essentially and uh and i i didn't like i couldn't breathe i couldn't i had a really hard time breathing in general and then also with the mask on was was also very tough but you know so i don't want to give it to my family so i'm wearing this thing hours of the day and And I also found that I can't, like, my body can't regulate its temperature. Like, not just with the chills. I got the chills for a while for those first three days.

But then after, like, the last two days, I've been feeling much better. I'm like, I went for a walk yesterday and stuff like that, which I never would have been able to do in the first three. yesterday and stuff like that which i would never would have been able to do in the first three yeah but at night at least two times a night i wake up covered in sweat like it's not like i got chills and like bundled up i'm not bundled up at all i'm like feeling pretty good when i go to bed i got one top sheet on and then i just wake up my whole body like scalp and chest and like all of me is just pouring sweat and it can't, it doesn't know what to do. It's, uh, now I don't know you as a person who gets sick a lot. Yeah. When you do get sick, is it like generally heavily felt? Is it like, like when you get sick, you're, you're laid out?

heavily felt? Is it like, like when you get sick, you're, you're laid out? No, no. Okay. No. Uh, usually when I get sick, I mean, I have had colds or what I think are colds before where I get like a fever with it, but that's going to last, you know, 24 hours or a night. And then after that I get some snot and like, it's just, it's just annoying after that. But I don't get so like, dragged down this really like, this was, I couldn't do stuff. And it was hard because I just gotten back from Vegas. So I, in the, in my relationship, I owed, you know, like I had been gone for a while. She was with the kids. And then I came back and I was like, Oh, and now I have COVID. the kids and then i came back and i was like oh now i have covid and she's like i'm still sick from september like she's still got this cough and this cold that like she's dealing with and uh and then once you get done with covid then it's it's gonna be uh november and that's that's

getting close to thanksgiving so you can't can't be asked to help around help out around the house then and then oh god and then pretty soon it's your birthday again yeah i mean we what we should do is just write off this whole year yeah and uh she can just give me a mulligan on the year if you're hearing this ad and i know you are we've got some good news for you that means you're alive so you've still got time to get life insurance with ethos with ethos you to get life insurance with Ethos. With Ethos, you can get life insurance in 10 minutes for as little as $10 a month. Unlike other companies' long, confusing, and outdated application process, Ethos' 100% online application takes only minutes so you can get back to living your favorite thing to do. Ethos has

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Confidently take control of your online world with Avast One. It helps you stay safe from viruses, phishing attacks, ransomware, hacking attempts, and other cyber crimes. Learn more about Avast One at avast.com. So I was not feeling great when I got back within like a day. And so, yeah, it's really been like nonstop for her, which has been a shame. So obviously everybody in my family is testing constantly now, testing every day. Nobody else has gotten it.

Excellent. Miracle. Which is great news so far. I don't know that we're out of the woods yet, but we're getting very, very close. And it's been, other than those first three days, I've been like, oh, okay.

I get it now. I'm coming out at the other end. Although I will say that yesterday I developed a brand new symptom out of the middle of nowhere. The middle of nowhere. I developed a brand new symptom out of the middle of nowhere in the middle of nowhere i developed a brand new system uh god damn i do have a boy i know a brand new symptom which was that i can't taste or smell anything that's the fucking worst yeah so while i was it, I was in the worst of it. I was like, at least I can taste like I didn't lose my appetite really. Uh, uh, the ideal thing was I wasn't eating cause I was sleeping so frequently and I was like lying, spending so much of my time lying down that eating rarely happened. So I also, I got real skinny, um, lost a bunch of weight immediately. And then then i but at least like when i would i needed a peach or something like that like i need some sort of indulgence i was like ah i still have my

taste a soda um but yesterday i got up tried to eat my breakfast and i was like oh oh i can't taste any of this and that's nuts the rest rest of the day, I could taste nothing. I get salt, I get sugar, but I don't have the finer tastes. Yeah. Have you tried anything? I'm sure you have the most extreme tasting thing in your house, like hot sauce straight to the tongue? I did.

No, not straight on the tongue, but I did put a bunch of hot sauce. I was like, well, if I'm not going to taste anything, let's see if we can knock this out because sometimes you can water it out you know if you go to get the like you get your sinuses going um that's how i've always dealt with it in colds before because it's always because i'm stuffed up like i can't smell or taste anything but that's clearly not the issue i still tried it the same way to kickstart it with some hot sauce on a quesadilla and nothing i mean i can get the spice uh but but no no taste that sucks man i'm sorry yeah i don't know how long this will last i am not excited about it you didn't ever get that uh great question no okay i'm gonna write that down

okay did you have any unexpected side effects like uh like like water in your ear or something like that you want to uh jump straight into a catch-all great question no okay okay all right so i've tallied this the scores up um we've got a pretty complicated system in terms of how this works but um i'm i you just gotta trust me because i'm i'm pretty great with numbers uh okay You just got to trust me because I'm pretty great with numbers. Okay. Yeah. It looks like, Dan, my COVID was head and shoulders better than yours.

Absolutely. Yeah. You won. Once I understood what winning meant, you sort of – you showed your hand a little bit when you said – when you shouted, when you found out that you had a symptom that I didn't have. Once I understood that that was how we were scoring things, I had a pretty good feeling that I was going to lose this one. Just because for anyone who didn't listen or doesn't remember the, my COVID, famous COVID podcast episode, I went to a friend's birthday dinner, my friend Shay, and it was like one of my first indoor dining things in a while. Everyone at the table, there life that changed was I took three days off running, which I never take three days off running in a row. And then just went back to my normal life.

It is now five days since we were at that restaurant together. And Shay calls me up to say, Hey, I tested positive. And two of the other people I was with tested positive too. We were laid out. We couldn't get out of bed. Can't taste or smell anything. Nausea. Everything's terrible. And I get this phone call after I had just finished running six miles. I was like, thank you so much for doing this due diligence of calling me. There is no fucking way there's anything wrong with me right now, but I'm going to just continue this run. I'm going to add a mile to it and run to city MD right now and get tested. I'm sure I'm fine. Uh, I went to get tested the doctor who did both of my tests. Uh, we got the rapid result obviously immediately. And he said it was negative.

And I was like, all right. And just, just to be clear, what, uh, is it, what are the odds that the rapid is negative, but the PCR is positive and he's like it can happen i've seen it happen before but dude you don't have it i was like i don't think so either dude all right i'll see you later and i continued about my my life and then five days from there is when i got the call from the contact trace department that was like yeah you have it you tested positive and it was that's why i was in such disbelief was because I had what I thought was a cold for one day, a cold, so mild that it didn't even occur to me to think it might be connected to this disease that had covered the entire globe. I was like, well, I can cross that off my list.

It's definitely not COVID because it's such a mild cold and it was knocked out in a day. Uh, and otherwise, yeah, that was it like 24 hours of a mild cold and then eating and, and tasting and smelling everything. And you'd never think there was anything affecting my lungs. Cause i was doing all of my normal runs and uh going to the gym and like human things like you my life didn't miss a beat apart from those few days of no running i was the luckiest covid patient on the planet that's wonderful i'm i mean clearly you had the better code that's i will i'll concede that that's a way better way better cove to have i mean i guess but i've heard what doesn't kill you makes you stronger somebody katie perry did she say that yeah that's true um so you're saying that what you're i'm sorry you're saying that like it gives you an edge no that's not what i'm saying i'm saying it didn't kill either of us yeah but yeah i mean you had yeah you had an objectively great covet yeah and and all i'm saying is that uh mine

probably made me a better person all around uh okay it was just a deeper darker place i see and so we've we've leapfrogged stronger to better. Yeah. Wherever I win, that's where I'm redrawing the goalpost. I'm very glad you're feeling better, by the way. I've been self-conscious about this because if listeners assume that I learned about COVID from you for the first time on this podcast. I seem quite callous indeed. We'd been talking like we wouldn't record this podcast if I didn't know that Soren was better and up for the task of recording the podcast. We talk offline sometimes. There was a day where I did a, I did creatureature, which is our good friend Katie Golden's podcast about different animals, Animal Kingdom.

And I did it during COVID. I'd had a fever for the past two days. I woke up that day being like, I think I could do a podcast and sat down to do it. And it was clear in the middle of it that I was starting to lose steam and the things were not going great for me i tried you know consummate professional i'm trying to make it good still yeah but i'm now i'm deeply interested to listen to how that man i can't wait to hear that what what's uh what's your animal what'd you do warble flies yeah yeah that would be that's a that's a tough thing to say uh with a clean bill of health it was also it's like a deeply disgusting episode too and when you're already feverish

it feels kind of like a hangover anyway and when i am talking about blood and viscera that's also the same feeling so there it's just this perfect storm of lightheadedness and like thin blood in my body um but yeah covid was, COVID was, uh, really laid me out and I don't, I have a lot of theories as to why that might've happened. One of them is that I haven't had a booster since December, maybe like over time, it just gets worse. I don't know. Uh, and then another one is that I was reading that there's a variant now that the vaccine doesn't actually do anything for so you just are like getting covid like you like you did in april of 2020 yikes oh shit yeah uh so that's why there's

a new there's a new booster coming out and that's it's basically the flu in that respect now is where it's like no there's a new variant where the old flu shot doesn't do shit for you we got to give you a new one seems kind of irresponsible that the president went on the news and said it's like, no, there's a new variant where the old flu shot doesn't do shit for you. We got to give you a new one. Seems kind of irresponsible that the president went on the news and said it's over, huh? It seems like you should. I hope he listens to this podcast and is like, oh, shit, it's still going. OK, they got Soren. Oh, fuck. He calls me Dark Soren.

It's like a little fun thing we do. Yeah, I was I was actually pretty blown away by how much it hurt me. Like when I was in the middle of it, I was like, this is bad. It is very surprising. I mean, we always knew it was bad. But one of the things that at least anecdotally from the people in my life who've gotten COVID in the last six or seven months has been, like me, mild symptoms. Like, thank goodness for vaccines and boosters. Like they're doing the job. You're still getting it, but we're like,

we're not getting laid out the way that we used to. So it is very surprising to hear that someone, especially someone so healthy is really getting knocked on their ass. Yeah. It was a re it was a big surprise for me. Um, anyway, I think, I think the worst of it is over. I'm kind of hoping it is and then i'm also just sort of like hoping for no long-term covet effects obviously yeah of course i haven't tried running yet i haven't tried you know that like exercising i'm i want to see how that goes when i'm ready anyway that's that's do-do-do-do-do-do who got coveted better can we talk about notifications for a second?

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thing. I wouldn't change a thing about it, except one feature I would add when it's doing random music is I would like the opportunity to say, speaker Never play that song again and for it to register because right now that technology doesn't exist that you could just say Never play that song. I never want to hear it again So like my speaker would be perfect if it did just what it's doing plus that one thing So that's my dream business idea I've been dying to start it and the simplicity of shopify will is a factor that is encouraging me to step up and i'm gonna i'm gonna do it i'm gonna start my my smart speaker company thanks to shopify because shopify uh reveals to me how the world is my

oyster and there are endless possibilities i love how shopify makes it easy for anyone to successfully run their own business even me and and my upcoming, you heard it here first, smart speaker. It's never been easier to start and grow a business thanks to Shopify. Go on, try Shopify for free and start selling anywhere. Sign up for a free trial at Shopify.com slash QQ. Go to Shopify.com slash QQ to start selling online today. Shopify.com slash qq to start selling online today. shopify.com slash qq. Hey, you, did you know that the Amazon rainforest is known as the lungs of the earth

and is responsible for producing more than 20% of the world's oxygen? Sounds pretty important, doesn't it? Well, Magic Mind is helping the Amazon rainforest through their new program, hashtag 14 Days of Magic, by converting all the views from the hashtag 14 days of magic into cash sent to aid in reforestation of one of the brazilian sectors of the rainforest we are teaming up with magic mind and they are offering you 20 off your order when you go to magic mind.co slash 14 days of magic and use code qq14 at checkout i find that i'm always crashing in the afternoon my productivity

dips badly. I'm technically a night owl, so usually I'm not getting stuff done until after one o'clock, but there are times where I've got a deadline that's before then and I'm not there yet. I'm not done. So I need throughout my days to be on all day long. That's where Magic Mind is helpful because Magic Mind helps me to focus, helps me stay alert in the afternoons but then there's no crash afterwards i found that with this little shot it doesn't take much to take it it's one shot it literally takes a second out of my life and it changes the outlook of my entire afternoon and i love that so instead of reaching for a fourth cup of black tea which is what i'd

ordinarily be doing right because boy am I hooked on my tea. My energy levels never dip afterwards. It keeps me even, and it never has a crash at the end. That also means that I'm sleeping better at night than when I did with caffeine, and I'm sweating a lot less, which I find interesting. So for 20% off and to learn more about Magic Mind's 14 Days of Magic hashtag and their donations to the Amazon Rainforest, go to magicmind.co slash 14daysofmagic and use code QQ14 at checkout for 20% off. Keep me posted about the taste and smell stuff. Because if it doesn't come back, I wonder if there's anything cool you can do with that. If you can spin that into a superpower somehow.

My worst thought is that I saw a video early on in COVID where there was a kid who was like experimenting with different things like eating an onion raw and stuff. And he was like laughing about it. And then he sat down. He's like, obviously obviously i wouldn't do this when i get my taste back i mean if i get my taste back right and then he let that resonate for a second and you just sit here it's like watching bo burnham yeah break down you just watch this kid have this realization that this might never come back for him i was like oh fuck that is very sad i am unfortunately immediately thinking of

if you never... No, you're going to get your taste back, but in this brief window where you can't taste or smell, I do wonder if there's a way that we can make some money off this. Yeah, how are you going to wet your beak? Yeah, just like off the top of my

head, it's you and I at a bar and we found some easy marks, and we somehow get them to agree to a bet of who can eat an onion raw faster. And we somehow do a white men can't jump type of thing. Yeah. You're just in the background doing PU hands holding an onion. Yeah. And you're like, you're just in the background. Like doing like PU hands holding an onion. Like that guy over there.

Surely he can't eat an onion faster than my friend. Yeah. I'm going to stretch a little first. And you'll be like, what's this guy doing? Yeah. Hurry up. We're going to Sizzler. You're like, I am from Norway.

We don't have onions. And they're like, that's your guy. We're going to make, he eats onions on your behalf. I'm like, I'm from Norway. We don't have onions. And they're like, that's your guy. We're going to make, he eats onions on your behalf. I'm like, oh. And then we take them for all they're worth. I would love that. I'd love to find a way to spin this into something useful. I would love to.

I think this might be a recency bias of watching a lot of Breaking Bad recently. I am really romanced by the idea of pulling grifts. It just seemed like a lot of fun to do like low stakes bar grifts on people. Yeah. Are you thinking of Better Call Saul? What did I say? You saw Breaking Bad. COVID brain!

It is Better Call Saul. Thank you for correcting me. I do. Watching those, I was like, I could do that. Yeah. I sort of like the idea of doing that. I used to do a thing when we would visit New York, because you and I did that once a year, where I would get, I'd never be on a train sometime drunk.

And while I was on that train, I would become a private detective and I would just look at people and, and make up their whole thing. Like I'd know based on their shoes, whatever they were wearing little clues in their hands. Like I wanted to be Sherlock Holmes in those moments where I was like, ah, I've deduced that you're left-handed because I see a bit of ink on your index finger of your left hand, like that kind of thing. Yeah. And I, I'm like, okay, comfortable shoes.

You've got a job where you're on your feet a lot. Like I'm just going through it and loved it. I'm sure I was not right on any of the occurrences, but in on the day i was like i just got everybody in this fucking train i know exactly who to rely on if something goes down in here i know like who's gonna be the leader yeah yeah i'm really uh tickled by the idea of drunk sherlock holmes too like i can tell by looking at you that you got a kissable... Come here. You got a kissable... You like kissing, huh?

Get over here. You got all your teeth. I like that. Good upbringing. Yeah. So anyway, that's my COVID update. It's finally happened to me. And it can happen to you.

If it can happen to Soren, it can happen to absolutely none of you are safe. It happened to Soren who did everything right for so long, was so careful, was just minding his own business in Las Vegas, Nevada. I have a confession to make, Dan. When I got it, I got it after we got back from Vegas and knew that I had picked it up on the trip. But I waited a day to tell my coworkers. Why?

Because I wanted to see if one of them said it first. Oh. wanted to see if one of them said it first. Because I was, whoever says it first feels like they're responsible. I don't know why. And so I was waiting because the order of occurrence, like whoever gets it,

whoever like gets the symptoms first, like they feel like the one who whether this is true or not it still feels like they're the ones who then gave it to everybody no yeah i 100 to this day blame shea because she is the one who told me it's there's every possibility that i was patient zero and brought kobe to everyone Right. You just don't know. Yeah. And so I didn't want to, I wanted to like just see if anybody else got it and like would say to the group so then I could be like,

yeah, I just tested positive. Just tested. Because when you're the first one, it's you are, you're the bearer of bad news and you're just the, you're the one. Yeah.

No matter what in people's minds. And I didn't want to be that so i was like i'm gonna wait a day nothing and then finally i was like well i have to tell everyone and so i told everyone did on a big group thread and then i knew some other people wouldn't be on that or i wouldn't see it so i told them individually but uh i did it was as soon I told everyone, the first response was this guy, Sam Brenner, who I work with, who goes, how we did everything,

right? Maybe feel much better. Well, thank you for that COVID update. We are all, uh, hoping for a quick 100%. Speedy recovery and continued safety for your family

to not get this stupid, horrible thing. Thank you. My other COVID gift to you is I'm going to give you the rest of the podcast off because I have a prepared thing that I will deliver. Yeah, it's a new-ish segment that's going to be recurring on this show. You want a theme song?

Yeah. What do you got? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Okay. It's called PSAs. That's all it is because we haven't thought of a name for it. Soren did a PSA not too long ago about

how other parents should behave at playgrounds with their children. And I really like the idea of us doing regular PSAs that, again, these are not meant to scold. We're truly just like, maybe you don't know this information, so we would like to prepare it for you. We're going to be doing a couple of these a year.

We've, you know. Maybe. Maybe this is the last one. We don't know. Enjoy the next installment slash perhaps season finale of PSAs. This is a PSA on behalf of runners to walkers. Hello, walkers. It's me.

All runners. This is a public service announcement about how you can behave better while walking on a trail or path or sidewalk or, for example, picked out of nowhere, boardwalk in a beach town that you share with runners. Before you tune out, this PSA comes with three caveats right up top. This isn't meant to be a scold admonishing you for bad behavior. It simply exists as, in the spirit of the name, a public service to make you aware of something you might not have known. The second caveat is that I don't bring this up as a way of entering into a future negotiation with walkers. This isn't an opening salvo. I'm not looking for counterpoints where you meet my list of demands with your list of demands because I don't think we'll really land on an agreed upon

constitution of road sharing here today. And also because I don't sincerely think all the rules I lay out will be followed. I'm just hoping some of them will reach some people and thereby make the world slightly better. You can choose to fight me about this on Twitter if that's how you want to spend your time. Just know in terms of impact, tweeting at me will carry the same weight as whispering your thoughts softly into a pillow. Final caveat, lest you think this is going to be a one-sided attack on one group from a clearly biased speaker with a microphone, don't worry. This PSA ends with a similar public service announcement directed at runners for their behavior. Caveats having been expressed, we proceed. Dear walkers, look around you. On the sidewalk or the boardwalk, you're sharing the space with

other walkers and yes, us, the runners. You're trying to get from point A to point B. I'm trying to keep people safe. While runners aren't exactly a monolith, we're much more uniform than, us, the runners. You're trying to get from point A to point B. I'm trying to keep people safe. While runners aren't exactly a monolith, we're much more uniform than, say, the cycling community, a dangerous mix of intense pros, casual enthusiasts, and out-of-town tourists who thought it would be fun to rent and ride a bike for the first time in a decade and cruise around an unfamiliar area with their headphones in and no helmet. Side PSA, people should have to pass a test before renting a city bike, both a competency and sobriety test. Runners are fairly predictable and tend to stick to some pretty uniform rules.

We like to keep to the right of whatever path we're running on, passing on the left, whatever happens to be in front of us, whether that be you or a garbage can or a large rock, you know, things that take up space unpleasantly. We're like cars on the road in that way, hugging the right and passing slower things on the left when it's safe to do so. This is how we like to run. And if you see a runner who isn't hugging the right and you're not sure where they're headed, most of us consciously or unconsciously point our head in the direction we want our body to follow. It's pretty easy to read, a subtle way of indicating what path on a fork we might take because we can't exactly yell out our intentions. That's why we do this

it's simple there's an important thing i feel i need to clarify because i'm not sure everyone is aware of this we are scared of you don't be fooled by our speed if you see a runner moving very fast a runner like me for one hit example you might think that person is so fast an obvious athlete in total control of their body and with the reflexes no doubt that match their quick speed, this person can outmaneuver anything. Nothing can be further from the truth. Though we may be the faster thing, it is your sudden movements that are the most terrifying thing to us. You throw out an arm to point at something. You idly wander to the left or to the right. You stop abruptly. You turn to dash back to your car to get something you forgot, perhaps. You may perform these actions slower than a runner can run, especially me,

but they read as sudden and split-second movements, and regardless of how fast we can run, and indeed because of how fast we can run, changing course suddenly is dangerous. That's the thing. We don't want to stop because most of us are training or going for speed, sure, but also, any adjustment we make could lead to injury very easily. Stopping short can cause real harm. Our momentum would work against us. Having to suddenly sidestep away from a new obstacle could twist or sprain an ankle. Our shoes are running shoes with treads scientifically

designed for forward, not lateral, motion. You should know, chiefly, we're frightened of you. Every runner is always trying to read the road as best as they can, and most of us have a pretty good road IQ and spatial awareness, but we can't predict sudden movements or stops or wild gestures. We can't predict the unpredictable. Regardless of our awesome speed, we are at your mercy. If you know that you're on a particular stretch of land that is shared with runners, think busy paths or streets or again just a random example plucked from the ether, boardwalks beach towns during summertime you should to the best of your abilities check your surroundings before making sudden moves i understand this is a tall order you're walking around you're enjoying yourself you're the main character in your story and there are no posted rules on sidewalks i'm

asking some of you to sometimes do your best if you think of it to remember that a sudden stop for a walker means nothing but a sudden stop for a runner could lead to serious, serious injury, or worse, which is to say, either being slow or embarrassed. This broadly boils down to be aware of your surroundings, which is good advice for walkers and runners as well. But there's one class of walkers I want to address specifically. Let's say I'm running north on a path. There are other walkers in front of me walking north at an obvious slower pace. They can't see me, and I know that. My job here is to try to read their movements and pass them on the left as safely and quickly as I can. I have more awareness right now than they do. I see the whole plane, and they can't see me coming. If you are a walker coming south while

I'm running north, just broadly opposite my direction, you have the greatest responsibility of all the players involved. The northbound walker can't see me, and they're lost in their own world anyway, but you can see everything. Assume that the runners you see will behave as I've described them, which is to say quickly, safely, and with great fear, while they eventually try to pass the walkers on the left. As the party with the greatest vantage point, you are in the unique position to move out of the way to accommodate this. The runner is not sneaking up on you. You have plenty of time and you can guess where they're going. Act right. If you're a party of two walking two person wide and you realize that you, the northbound walkers, and the northbound runner will all occupy the same plane at the same time, briefly move to single file while that runner

makes their pass. The single most frustrating thing as a runner in this situation is seeing the walkers who have total situational knowledge and choose to do nothing, forcing the runner to stop or maybe run off the path or try to squeeze idiotically sweatily in between the two parties. I've seen you a thousand times. I've made eye contact with you and you could see the crash course that all the bodies are headed in. You and you alone have the opportunity to make things go smoothly. And I have seen you time and time again, hold your ground as if this were a competition over land and not what it really is which is a communal effort to share that land safely I watch you hold your ground making our lives less convenient and more dangerous while you think your

thoughts which I imagine are you are in the best position to manage this spatial negotiation as safely as possible understand the responsibility you have and use it deserve it walkers be aware of the power and the responsibility that you have most sidewalks and paths don't have separate walk and run paths if they did we wouldn't be having this one-sided conversation until such time as we do have that own your responsibility help your faster brothers and sisters and enbies so we can all use this land safely. And focus on the real problem. Hating fucking bicyclists. And now, as promised because Turnabout is fair play, a PSA for runners.

Runners. You're doing great. Don't change a thing. You're both victim and hero. If walkers had any stones, they'd be runners. Keep it up, studs. End of PSA. That's only fair yeah it hurts it's

tough to play both sides of it but you know you gotta do it it's got it's about balance oh i think that's a really helpful psa thank you for doing that daniel i don't even have a ton of pedestrians on my path generally but it's enough still that I'm deeply annoyed every single day. Here's what really gets me. You're right. You're absolutely right that runners and pedestrians, we all pedest like we're in cars. We move the same way.

Your instinct is to be on the right side of the sidewalk. But for whatever reason, when you're not thinking about that that these walkers will just meander all over the sidewalk and heaven forbid that they're in a party because even two people three people they all want to be next to each other nobody wants to be the one in the lead because that's a weird way to it's not you're not hiking yeah and and like you see those people coming towards you and you're like, okay, we're all making eye contact here. Something's got to change because you're all taking up that entire – you're taking up the entire street and we're all physical objects. And sometimes they're just like, nah, let's see what happens. I'm going to let it play. I genuinely mean it as a public service in case people don't realize how difficult it is to to to change suddenly when when when you're running.

It's just like an unsafe thing to do. I'm not being super overdramatic about this. Like like don't assume that because a thing is fast that it's like I'm going to park or around every obstacle. It's like no like I I want to just keep going straight. I want to find tangents and just, and just move forward as with as little lateral movements as possible. Understand I'm at the most exhausted I've ever been when I'm running past you. I, a single sidestep out of the way, just ruin, ruin my day. Yeah. It's like, that's a whole bunch of new energy that I wasn't explaining and expending um

but no i i'm with you i i will uh pedally punish pedestrians yeah uh and the way that i do it is that if they're not doing it right if they're wandering around like being erratic and like i'm clearly making a decision to go around somebody even if they can't see me we're going the same direction and i'm like i'm gonna go around you and they just start kind of drifting in that direction without knowing we're just like drawn to each other like planets in orbit and uh i will i'll run past them with such little space between us yeah that it's i assume uncomfortable you want to get you want to splash them a little bit you want to give them uh like a wet crop dusting i want them to feel my jet stream yes yeah like i

want them to feel the wake of my of my boat as it goes past and so is it raining oh no it's much much worse so if they're not giving me the space it's it's clear that like i was trying to it i just wanted to be clear to them that like oh your trajectory changed man like you're headed in a way that somebody was trying to avoid you and now they just barely did thank goodness that happened i'll never make this mistake again yeah that's how i want it to go in their head but i'm sure it never goes that way i'm sure it goes what's that guy's fucking deal yeah i mean the most passive passive aggressive i've been when i'm running and i really needed But I'm sure it never goes that way. I'm sure it goes, what's that guy's fucking deal? Yeah. I mean, the most passive aggressive I've been when I'm running and I really needed to like split second work to maneuver around someone who was behaving idiotically. I will say, come on, like loud enough for it to be heard.

But it's also it's quiet and it happens quickly. And by the time I'm by the time it reaches their ears i'm already gone so far gone it's an argument you can't lose yeah absolutely but it's also an argument something and they don't it's it's uh it's unclear if it's an argument that's even taking place or like like i because i can't stick around to find out if they, if it's landing for them or if they are just thinking like, oh, I guess he's got like, he's like pumping himself up saying, come on, he wants to go faster. Good for him there. I did a, I did not passive aggressive thing and a regular aggressive thing the other day when I was running home, uh, right before

I went to Vegas, I went on a run and Coming back, it happened to be when kids were getting out of school. There were these, I don't know. I would say either they were eighth graders or maybe junior high. Maybe high school and they just were late bloomers. They're on scooters. They're on electric scooters, city bird scooters. They're coming the opposite direction from me. And I'm wearing a crop top.

Is that right? Tang top. There's no sleeve. I was going to say, it could be right. Not a crop top. There's no belly. But I am, there is some skin clearly. And both the kids, as they're going, both boys, as they're going past me,

they're doing things like, Oh, Daddy. Oh, come to me, Daddy. Doing that. What? Yeah, it was surprising to me as well. And my reaction was even more surprising, Dan, because we're both going through an intersection. They're coming one direction and I'm going the other. And as they're shouting this stuff and doing kissy noises, I take a it towards them like I'm gonna do something oh just like a like a step I now I'm in your path kind of thing okay not like not in a way we're like now we there's

gonna be a confrontation but just like a no this movement was not expected yeah okay you weren't when you said you're gonna do so i didn't know if you were trying to like position yourself as the titular daddy here oh no no not like in a violent way i did like what i'm doing is erratic like i'm about to do something weird because i've moved i'm not in the right i'm not following my normal path anymore like i've taken a step in a weird direction and i'm it's like and so now like they didn't anticipate that and one of them just starts like his scooter starts getting real squirrely his face changes real quick and he starts getting a little scared that he recovers control of it

and we both go off in our different directions and I can still hear them yelling but just seeing him lose it for a second was oh it felt so good watching this eighth grader lose control for a second i was like ah gotcha i do wonder if this if the biking community is going to come after my ass for this psa i'd like to you know uh i I know. I used to as well. It was like a big part of my life in LA. There was the last six months that I lived there, I didn't have a car and just biked everywhere every single day

and was like going to local community biking meetings and talking about developing bike lanes and everything. It was like being part of that world. But even when I was a self-identified biker, I was, because it's such a non-monolithic community, as mentioned famously in the PSA, that you've got serious bikers who are training. You've got people who bike every day, like me. You've got people who bike every once in a while when it seems like a nice day. And you've got people who bike every once in a while when it seems like a nice day and you've got people who are doing this this city bike thing where it's like wouldn't it be fun if i got on a bike today and and across the board they're all such different skill levels and it's

so dangerous to share the road with them all the time yeah i agree like Even when I was in it, I was unhappy and grouchy. And now that I, uh, am, am never on a bike, I'm, I'm full grouch mode. Uh, and I think you did a nice job delineating without explicitly saying it, which ones are the real problem? Because there clearly is a class there that's like, no, you're the ones who are fucking up, especially on a boardwalk. I remember that. i remember as a child being on boardwalks and it being a real issue when all of a sudden there was a a dui cyclist it was just sort of like weaving around i certainly remembered it when i was in uh manhattan and i was living right along the hudson and that's also where i would run and they're like great parks there so i spent a lot of time uh around the hudson estuary and the there's nothing more uh panic inducing than

those fucking rental city bikes because you almost know like almost guaranteed that's not someone who bikes a lot that's someone who's just like, oh, let me, let me, oh, it's fun. You could just like rent a bike. And I would just see these blue city bikes with some helmetless rider, usually with their phone out to film the Hudson. And I was like, oh, good. This is great. I feel safe. I'm glad I'm sharing the road with you. There was a surge for a little while. I actually haven't seen it in a while, but maybe it's because I just don't go out. But for a while down by the beach in Venice and Santa Monica, where the birds are very popular and birds, I mean, scooters and people don't want to like, they're like, they're like 50 scooters at every corner but people are like let's share one and there was a lot of that there's a lot of people very shakily two people like precariously

balanced on one scooter being like we could do this we could do this we could totally do this and they're coming the opposite direction from you and you're just like oh cool this is gonna be great can't wait to see what happens with all of us. Yeah. You guys are having a fun vacation moment that could incidentally ruin my life. Could lay me out and have me miss work for quite a long time. And so, yeah, I think I'm on board with you with like, there are people that just go to a new city and they're like, you know, it'd be fun as if I cycled here and they're like, and they haven't biked in six or seven years or whatever it is. And that has never been an impulse of mine.

I've been with people before where they're like, we're in Monterey. Like, let's go. Uh, there's a lot of really big windy roads where there's only two lanes and no shoulder. Let's go bike on them. Fucking no. I don't know the city. Why would I, why on earth would I do that?

I get no enjoyment from just being on a bicycle. Cause I want to focus on what I'm doing instead of looking around me. Okay. All right. We're done. We're done. That's our show. Everybody. You can follow daniel on

twitter at dob underscore inc you go to complain to him or you can do as he recommended and whisper it softly into your pillow you could do that anywhere you could do it wherever you like uh you can follow me soren at soren underscore ltd you can follow quick question at qq Soren underscore LTD. You can follow quick question at QQ underscore Soren and Dan. You can email us at QQ with Soren and Daniel at gmail.com. We have a sound engineer, an editor, a producer, just a higher being in general. That's Gabe Harder. I'm only going to mention his name because at this point I've actually tried to look, I thought this would be fun. I'll find a new way to follow Gabe and I will find him online and it will be a thing that i can bring up and be like i got a new way you can find gabe it doesn't exist gabe's not out

there i'm on a be real you can find me on be real what the fuck is b what is that is that true yeah yeah be real the new social media app storming the world yeah awesome dan i need to ask you if be real is real uh i only know it from saturday last weekend saturday night live sketch yeah i assume it's real okay i saw it on saturday night live i assumed it was fake but it also does seem like a thing where gabe would go and and be like i'm gonna invent this thing and then he would buy the rights to it and then just sit on it. It would be amazing if he was,

I don't know how that site works, but it would be amazing if he was like crazy fucking viral on it, just crushing it with his incredibly real posts. We have a Patreon. You can follow it at patreon.com. And our theme song is by Merex. You can follow Merex's music at merex.bandcamp.com,

or you can find them on any place you listen to your streaming music. That's it for our show. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Bye. Quick question for you, alright I wanna hear your thoughts I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight

So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When will I be remembered? What's it up with? Where did all the good things go? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers.

If there's an answer, they're going to find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here.