Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Nobody Taught Us the Rules | Ep. 332

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

Daniel reveals that one of Soren’s forgotten novelty songs has become part of his son’s bedtime rotation, which somehow leads to a long conversation about sitcom logic, student council politics, famous people they went to school with, and the absolutely deranged social etiquette of high school and college.Topics include: Friends, Jersey Shore, theater kids, network procedurals, dorm room diplomacy, and the strange realization that nobody ever actually explains the rules of being young to you — everyone just sort of improvises and hopes for the best.Follow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts

We're going to give a great question We're very serious We're going to jump in with some behind the scenes cracked facts, cracked stories I love these A time I was running a meeting as I was often punished with doing, was in charge of a meeting, and I had a lot to get through.

Wrangling creatives is an annoying job. And I went into the meeting, headful esteem, ready to run it, and Soren came up to me and said, Daniel, do you want to hear a song that I wrote? And I wanted to cut these shenanigans out early and set the tone for a meeting, which was all business.

So I said, no. And then Soren turned to the person after me. And he said, okay. Abe, do you want to hear the song that I wrote? And Abe said yes. And we got the song. Sorin, do you remember the song that you wrote? No, but I totally believe that I wanted to derail the meeting with a song that I wrote.

I must derailed this entire podcast with a poem I wrote. I think that. And the move to go from like from one person saying no and then immediately turning to the next person. So I still hear the song. It was getting out there. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Sorrent, your song, you're going to know it as soon as I start it.

Okay. Um, I guess it's kind of a club song. it's shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, and wag that dick, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass, and wag that dick that dick. That song has entered the repertoire of songs, I sing to my baby son in this huge cloud of music that I'm just always, sometimes it's chim chim chimneys. Chim Chim Chim Roo. Sometimes it's a Moxie Frueva's song. Sometimes it's complete gibberish. Sometimes it's some original songs about him being a bubble man who makes so many bubbles. It's called I'm the bubble man.

And sometimes it's shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass. Shake that ass and whack that dick. It's a banger. I mean, it's an earworm. You got to admit, it gets right in there and stays with you. Didn't stay with you, it seems. Or maybe it's just that you. As soon as you've written so many songs that I need to be more specific.

Yes, that's the problem. I do write a lot of songs and I'm eager to get them out into the world, eager to give them to the public. Yeah, I've forgotten that I'd written that one. That one really, when I first had written, when I penned that, when I put pen to paper to write that song, I was so pleased with myself because I thought that what was really missing from the club songs was, what the gentleman should be doing during all that time because there's a lot of instructions for women in those songs.

Yeah. Whether they're advice or they are a suggestion, I don't know, but they're giving nothing to the guys. It's really you're supposed to already know what you're supposed to do. And I was like, I'll give the guy something. Yeah. Here you go. Which is good because like as a guy who's been to dances and clubs, I have always felt more in need of instruction than. the women who are generally fine to freestyle and go solo.

They have like a bunch of moves that they know how to do. And I'm out there. Right. I would love anything. Point me anywhere. Not electric slide style. Not like. Yeah, you don't need.

Roop dance, but just like fellas, don't lock your knees. Do something with your hands that you're not doing right now. They're looking strange. Fellas, I'm begging you. don't slouch hands out of pockets I see you biting your bottom lip stop doing that

that would all be nice I agree with you I would love to have something and yeah you're right I think for the ladies they can just be like ladies free form for the next 30 to 45 seconds

whatever you want is on the table because they come in with like baked in instructions inside them somehow you go to a club and you're like you know what you're doing

already I'm going to, oh, they won't let me sit down unless I pay enough money to buy an entire bottle of Belvedere. Okay. Well, surely there's somewhere I could lean and that will help. Yeah. More songs like Will Smith, I believe in the official tie-in song for Men in Black 2 when he would say, let me see you nod your head. I'm like, yeah, that's a move that I can do. And it's a clear instruction.

I wish more clubs would play. Nod Your Head from Men and Black, too, official soundtrack. I'll take anything. I mean, I've brought it to the podcast before, but House of Pain, jump around. Very exciting song for me because the rules are right there. I know exactly what my job is in that song. And I get so excited when we get to the chorus. Because I, as you know, I'm a real good jumper.

You're such a good jumper. And at the club, I want people to know that I'm a good jumper. So I'm going to be jumping higher than all of you. Thank you very much. I don't think that's implicit in the song. That they're like, they're not like, jump around. We are trying to find the best jumper. I don't think they want you to stick out as a jumper.

I think they want a big mass of people jumping. I disagree. I think it's tacit in there that they're, if you're going to ask people to jump, you want to know who's doing it best. Yeah. And I think people are looking around the club. And surely,

before where I've been like looking around at a club to see who the best jumper is and somebody is rising above the rest and I'm like ooh that I bet that person dunked once in their life I bet they dunked a small basketball from Pizza Hut because their hands weren't big enough to necessarily palm a bigger ball it's just it's really hard it's really tough and then you're supposed to dunk that's what you expect me to do those that's those are the rules please I love that you're singing that to your son though. Man. What an honor.

I don't. Yeah, well, early on you can sing kind of anything. It doesn't only matter. Yeah. You can play them any music. That goes away. Yeah.

I'm sure it does. But I feel like there was a whole, I'm certain there was a whole plot point in an episode of Friends where Rachel's baby was being watched by Rachel's baby. No, it was not. I'll tell you, I'll tell you exactly what it was. Was watching one of Phoebe's babies? Because it wasn't triplets. No. No, it's earlier.

It was when Ross's baby was a baby. Oh, Ross's baby Sam. Oh, his son. And I don't, I don't, was a swear to him. Okay. I like big butts by Sir Mix a lot. She was singing that to him. And it worked to either please him or put him to sleep. and Ross was so unhappy when he discovered, you can't sing a song like that to my son. And then the turn of the episode has to be, he starts singing it and realizes this is, oh good, it works.

It's soothing to my son. The kind of, but it makes me curious about the show Friends, which I watched as a child, but it's on it like primetime Thursday nights. So it's not aimed at children. But I watched that show as a child thinking, this is a believable premise for a problem that adults would have singing an explicit,

adjacent rap song about butts to a baby. That would really, that's a real pickle for adults. I feel like adults then the target audience for that show would be watching it. And they would know that that's a false premise. Like I think any reasonable adults, If I was watching that episode for the first time now, I would say it doesn't matter what you sing to the baby at that age. They're not retaining.

That would be a moment in the room where you're like, you know, we've gone pretty far with this, but somebody should mention. Yeah. And so many plots in Friends, it turns out, are things that are not relatable or real for adults. So it makes me like, was that show for children? No.

But I mean, it was a, well, I don't even know if he had called a family show. I guess it was. I'm trying to remember, like, how socially we handled television back in the day when we'd actually watch broadcast TV. It was a thing where we would, as a family, gather around the old tube and we'd watch a show together. And, like, Friday nights, certainly, that was the whole point of Friday nights. It was like, hey, T.JF's on. We got a bunch of shows for all the whole family. So, yeah, friends, Murphy Brown, Frazier, like all the.

those we would watch as a family and eat dinner watching it. And those shows were huge. And everybody left those shows. And no one was writing on the internet the next day. It was like, these aren't real problems. I don't know. Well, you know, we're not writing real problems in our show. Your show has aliens in it.

Your show has aliens. It has at least one. And a talking fish. but they had a monkey. So, I mean, they were allowed to be heightened. We have a quick message from today's sponsor, ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. Hey, I love my pet. I love my cat.

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I, yeah, but that's sort of like the whole bag of a situation in comedy is the situation is completely absurd. And then you watch what you would hope would be fairly normal people try to negotiate in a completely absurd situation, complete misunderstanding. I think we've bounced back too hard from 90s, 80s, probably 70s sitcoms. There was some kind of turning point where we made shows more grounded and more realistic. And that coincided with the rise of the internet taking everything way too seriously. that now I don't know if you could if you could fly with an episode of television where some people accidentally, Joey and Chandler swapped babies with a stranger and then they need to track down the real baby. I think that would, that, that would get killed in the

writer's room. And that's, that's a mistake. We should go back to some, some like fake problems. Is it because there are too many real problems in real life? I don't see, I think you might be wrong. I think we're just not. watching broadcast television. I think that there might still be sitcoms on that are doing this, that are like, they're not going to tackle something that feels very grounded and real. They're just like, I don't know, we've been doing this forever. Let's just make another Chuck Laurie show where like a woman climbs out of the woods to come have sex with Charlie.

I do get fed a completely different world because I'm watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every day. They are. showing me like the 9-1-1 extended universe of shows and getting previews for I just get fed commercials for the thrilling

season premiere of a show called Will Trent that is maybe about a detective and like I watch a little bit of it every once in a while just if it's if the TV is left on and they'll have like a whole promotion around as like it's Mr. Tuesday or whatever. It's like we've got Will Trent and the

rookie and high potential. And it's like all these these like honest to goodness network procedural shows that are just like surviving on their own ecosystem. Hey, RJ Decker picked up for season two. Are you pumped about RJ Decker? I don't know what RJ Decker is. It's it's R.J. Decker is co-stars a friend of mine, Bevin Brew, shout out Bevan Brew. And it's the wildest thing in the world because I wouldn't

know that show if I didn't if I wasn't, if I didn't have a personal connection with her. And it seems, I feel like an alien watching the show to support her because as far as I know and most of the people I know

are concerned, network procedurals don't exist anymore. And she is like on a bona fide ABC procedural show with like actors and stuff. Yeah, I guess that actually reminds me of a quick question I want to ask you, Daniel. Sure. Who is, who would you say is the most famous person you grew up with?

Grew up with? Yeah, like, who'd you grew up with? And then all of a sudden, like, they just blew up one day and they became very famous. What, at what age do you consider growing up? Yeah. And up until you, up and through high school. Oh. Probably Sammy's sweetheart.

Oh, right. From Jersey Shore. She was like in my high school and in my homeroom class because we're, we're not the same grade, but we're both in student council and student council gets a separate home room for all grades at once because we're elevated like that. Wait, you had a separate home room with kids that weren't in your grade? Yeah. If you're in student council, they take you out of your normal home room. And you're in like the just the only student council freshman through high, through senior. Everyone in there is a ranking officer.

It was really a bold move that we didn't take one of those students and put them somewhere else to be designated survivor if that classroom ever got bombed. Right. Because then who would decide whether you're going to have pizza on Thursday or Friday after that? Who's going to pick the theme for homecoming dance? What, that's fucked up? You were in a separate home room, but in home room you learn. I mean, in home room, that's an actual class. No, not in school.

Home room is where they do, you sit and like, just fucking chill out for a few minutes after the high of the bus or car ride. You just got to, like, cool your jets, and then you hear the morning announcements, and then the day starts and you go to your first class. And we were supposed to be doing like government business. Yeah. You guys weren't doing any of that. You guys all just sitting in there playing Sim City on the same computer. I was sitting there as a freshman being like, I'm not supposed to be in a room with senior girls.

I'm not prepared at this. This is too real too soon for me. Wow. Okay. So, well, it seems like they wanted you to take student counsel seriously. I remember student council all throughout middle school. and then into high school because I was on it. And it was always a fucking joke.

We didn't do shit. We would meet maybe once every two weeks. Like it wasn't even like a thing that was where it was religiously like we were going there. We were going there to meet and talk about stuff. No one took it seriously. The school didn't take it seriously. And everyone's all they'd be like, oh, the student council hasn't met in a while. We should make them meet.

Not that you ever need to really do anything, but they didn't even. they didn't even try to onboard and like tell you like I ran for student council treasurer I guess I wasn't in it freshman year I ran freshman year and then I was in it for sophomore junior and senior and I ran because our freshman year student council this is I'm going to talk the way that we used to talk back then a freshman year student council treasurer was a hot girl and then going into sophomore year she was running against a different hot girl and at 15 years old I was like it's good going to split the hot girl vote. There's going to be room for a weird a Rospero candidate to come in here and scoop up all this. There's not going to get a majority from either hot girl. And then here comes weird. This is just the opportunity for my flat taxes and getting the POWs back from. And so I ran on that platform of being not a hot girl. And I won and then ran on a post for the rest of my high school career. Of course. Once your foot's in the door incumbent, it's really easy to stay there.

I, again, ran for treasurer because I thought that was a position I could win and I wanted to win to put it on my high school, my college applications. Very cool. Very cool. I didn't know anything about what a treasurer does or is supposed to do. And no one when I got there, like even fainted at the idea of like, you are technically in charge of the books. Here are the books. You got to make sure that we have money in our budget. because obviously I can't do anything. We're going to have enough money for prom because there would be a riot if we didn't. And I mostly just hung out with everyone else. It was still clear like the president and vice president were more important than me and the secretary.

But it wasn't obvious why. It didn't come down to like responsibilities or roles or anything. My son is dealing with student council In elementary school, which is a thing I don't remember even having. No. Not until school. But they have student council representatives. And at first I was like, why don't you run?

Because he's well liked. And I was like, you do well. And you're responsible. He didn't like that idea. But some kids did run. He's got representatives in his class. And I was like trying to prod him to find out what they were up to. Like what was going on with student council?

And he's like, we don't hear from them. And then he's got, he came to me with a problem. his school that sound so right for student counsel that I was like, man, you've got to bring this to them. We'll put together something together. Like, I'll help you. I'll put together like a little we can, well, maybe even like a slide show on like why this is important.

Here's the problem is a kid got hurt at recess. They were playing tag around the jungle gym. I think a kid fell off of it and got hurt. I don't know if he broke a bone or not. I don't know. Anyway, it hurt enough that they were like no more running, no more dancing, little town of footloose. They were like, no more running outside.

And everyone was like, what? That's certainly no more tag. Yeah, no more tag. That seems like it has since softened to be that you are allowed to run around in the grass. But a lot of the ball sports are also out. You're not allowed to play those anymore. That seems like something that they already were fucking sick of. And then this gave them an opportunity to be like, we're pulling the plug on all those too, by the way.

So anyway, this game tag, that all the kids, you know, they loved, they can't play anymore at their school. And I was like, that's crazy. When you're, the whole point of recess is that you've got to go get all that out of you. Absolutely. That's a huge part socially. Like there's, there's a, all these components to just running around with your friends that's super valuable and you're not getting any of that now. But that's not what I'm saying to him.

I'm saying, that's not fair to you. Yeah. You love tag. You got to march down to city hall, school city hall. and you've got to tell him, oh, we need tag back. And I was like, talk to your representative. That's the whole point. Like, this is a great opportunity.

He was not willing to do that. Or campaign and, like, find the kid who broke both his legs and wheel him out like a gold star parent and be like, he wants us to play tag again. He insists on it. He would have wanted us to play tag again if he were still here. But, yeah, so that was like, I was getting pretty hot. My son was one of those circumstances where he's looking at me. not sure if he's in trouble. Yeah.

And I'm like, get mad for, at nobody. But I'm like, you got to talk to, you got to talk to your representative. You got to go fix this. Let's call him. Call him day or night. We're going to leave messages for. Oh, no. No, I'm not going that badly.

But I really wanted him to do it. He wasn't about to, though. Yeah. And he's not interested in running for student council ever. He's not interested in running for anything, I guess, anymore. Because that's not a lot of school. He seems fine with that. God.

Sorry. Oh, I was going to tell you my famous person. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Sammy sweetheart, Jersey Shore. We were both in Hongwood together. We did not interact much, but sat near each other, and then she got famous on the Jersey Shore. And that is the kind of, that's the kind of job you can do forever, it turns out.

Who knew? Yeah. I was in Seaside Heights when they were filming the first one, and we didn't know what it was, but there's this crew constantly. Everywhere that we would go, there'd be this crew. there for some show that they were making. And then we'd like go to the boardwalk and you'd go to a t-shirt shop and they'd be in the t-shirt shop at nine in the morning and you'd be like, what, what is this show?

So that was fun for me to see as well. And yeah, I had no idea that that would have the legs that it did. Is there anybody else or is she, reality TV is where it's at? She is the most famous person from my hometown that I grew up with. I think there's obviously been other famous people that I've met since then. And I've name dropped Ryan Holiday a few times on this show as someone that I met when I was 21 or 22. Whenever I first moved out to L.A. And was starting as an internet writer.

And he was also doing like a little bit of blogging, but mostly just doing like PR social media. like pre-social media stuff. And he is now like an insanely famous worldwide phenomenon of a person. But I don't think that counts because we would not have met,

we didn't meet at school. We would not have met if we both weren't on a path that put us somewhat in front of the camera or in front of the, or under the spotlight. Yeah. I should say that there should be some stipulations here because I quasi

grew up with Dakota Johnson, but she was not my friend. She was my friend's sister, and I would barely ever see her. And we would, you know, she was a little kid, so, and we were much older.

So it was like, you didn't want to hang out with it. It's like, we weren't, we didn't come up together, you know. And her father was famous. Already famous. Her mom, too.

Yeah, like that was not, that was destined. The same way, like Hannah Hall was somebody I went to school with who was Jenny and Forrest Gump and has been in a number

of other movies since then, she was already famous. She was already in like virgin suicides by the time I ever knew her. But there was one guy who I came up with in acting classes and is famous not for acting now, but I would say is staggeringly famous. It's acting adjacent. But he is so famous that it was shocking to me. Like he, you know, like people come to you through it. You're not tracking them anymore.

and then all of a sudden somebody else in your life who is not connected at all will mention them to you. And you're like, whoa, you know who that is? Do you want to guess what he does now? My half sincere guess is that he is one of those like shirtless Vikings who stormed the Capitol on January 6th. Because that feels. Yeah, that feels just right, doesn't it? And it feels kind of like he's up to that now. Like it's for all the people in those riots.

surely everybody knows one of them. Everybody's got a January 6er. We've all got one in there. We're probably related to at least one. No, he's not an insurrectionist. He is a stadium magician. Yeah. His name is Adam Trent.

And if you were to look him up, he's... Will Trent vibes. He's crazy famous. sells out arenas and stuff. And this was a kid that, oh, you know what? There's one other one. Oh, I forgot. There's another boy named Brady Corbell.

Have you ever heard of that name? That sounds familiar. Brady Corbe might sound familiar because he wrote maybe and directed The Brutalist. Oh, shit. He had been in some movies before then. He did the American remake of Funny Games. He was one of the kids in that. And I think that was like where he really got his foot in the door.

But these are kids that like when I was young, I did acting classes with when I was like a in middle school and in high school. And then they went on to have actual careers. Adam Trent, by the way, folks, if you haven't Googled along to this episode, Adam Trent has been blessed with some pretty serious genes because he looks like a baby. God. Yeah, he does. Adam Trent. yeah he's gonna keep that yeah because he's he's my age which boy oh boy that's we age different he and I I could be the portrait in his attic yeah I'd ask him for his secrets but I know he's not

allowed to tell oh he doesn't seem like go ahead I like that they they took acting classes with you and you knew them because there's something uh Sammy's sweetheart and a few other people that I knew in high school who are not like massively famous, but they, they survive on playing music or like entertaining in in some form or another. They didn't do high school theater. And I was such a company man for theater. And I loved it so much, despite our horrible theater director like all high schools have. But when Sammy was on a TV show and getting famous for it, part of me was like, we would have welcomed you with open arms into the theater.

If we, you should have just joined us. It was so fun. You like being in front of people. We, where, why didn't you do the fun, stupid make-em-ups with us? Could have been a protean on forum. That's very much not the vibe of everybody on the Jersey Shore. No, absolutely not. If any of those, you'd be shocked to find out any of them were theater kids because you don't want that.

You want kids that fuck. Actually, that's not true. Theater kids definitely had a lot of sex. Not this one. Not either of these two. Hell yeah, brother. But from what I understand, theater kids were having sex a lot. That was, yeah.

Or experimenting. There was, that was a big thing at my, not in the barn where I did high school theater, but in my college theater. from the moment we got there, people were talking about how it was a rite of passage that you had sex on the grid. For anyone who doesn't know a theater talk, the grid is that big scaffolding that sits above the stage in the audience where they can put lights anywhere that they want. They set all the lights up in there. So it's this big platform that sits above everything. and I guess it's the gaps are small enough that you're not falling through

if you are fornicating up there and so it was a big deal and everyone would talk about it and everyone would talk about plays where that happened where they're like at the cast party after we did what the Butler saw or whatever the fuck it was

the miracle worker like we were up there yeah oh yeah I remember that yeah I'm God I really don't want to reuse real people's names here They're like, oh yeah, Bethany and Chris, they were up there. They had sex during the after party.

And everyone's, and then I'm like, how does everybody know that, first of all? And then also, I've been to cast parties and I've been to some where we just are on the stage. Does that mean everyone was on the stage while they were having sex up there? And give me some like some logistics where there's, did they bring a blanket up? Where did that come from? or were they just on metal? Were they raw dogging it on metal? It seems for a number of reasons, completely unenjoyable.

Yeah, I think it's just for saying you did it. Yeah. I think that it's probably... But then it seemed like everyone by the end had, from what I'd heard, everyone had done it. I guess I should have just started telling people I did it. I think other people got that memo before you did. I mean, you do, it makes more sense in college because you generally have a roommate.

You have to get very creative when you're going to have sex in college because there's so much to negotiate. There's so much space that isn't yours. And so you have to carve out some private space that is technically public, but no one's going to be there for a minute. And I remember how much thought I put into that in college. How much thought I put into like, well, okay, I know that they have these video viewing rooms at the library. And if I just rented one of those out, I know that people frequently put newspaper up on the tiny little window so that's not darker in there. I could do that and it wouldn't look strange. And then we could finally have sacks.

Or at night, I every time, it was a big part of my high school, my college experience was figuring out which buildings you could get. into sneak into at night. That was with my friends. With the the non-tacet reason was, hey, look at this fun thing we're doing. We're like exploring these spaces at night when we're not supposed to be there.

The tacit reason was always, okay, I'm going to remember that that window to the library is generally open in the middle of the night and I can get into the library. And then maybe I can have sex in the library again. Yeah. We didn't, um,

This was not an issue that required quite as much thought and planning on my end. I had a simple gentleman's agreement with my roommate that he would just like find somewhere to be at night. It's the kind of agreement that you can have when it's not going to come up that often. This wasn't like every weekend. Hey, Jared, you got a scram for another weekend. It was like, hey, please. If you don't mind. If you want, you can take my car.

If you could just find somewhere else to be from the hours of 10 to 1015, that would really help me out a lot. I'll buy you something from Jack in the Box. Actually, you didn't. You only think you had that on these coasts. I would buy him four hot dogs at 7-Eleven. Oh, sucking down chili dogs. That's right. Or you negotiate the insane thing.

And not even a negotiation. It's a negotiation with yourself. If you, let's say, for example, are in a college acopalic group and you travel to another college and you go to someone else's dorm and you stay with and you're you're with them, then you do a move that seems very normal in college and seems absolutely insane ever for all of the years after college when you're with someone and you're both like you're her. your roommate is there in bed. And she's like, I don't think she's going to wake up. And you're like, yeah, yep. You're probably right. You commit a felony by forcing someone else to be witness to you having sex.

Yeah. And you all just pretend that things aren't the way they are. They're all like, she's a, yeah, but she's asleep. And I'm like, totally she's asleep. And no one's ever woken up before. No, no. I had a roommate who my senior, no, no senior I lived in a house, but like my junior year, his girlfriend had her own room. She had a single in a different dorm.

And I thought, this is great. There were going to be so many times where he won't even be here ever. Like, they're just going to be in their place all the time. The number of times, Dan, that they slept in my room while I was there just fuming. just feeling like, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you here? Never explicitly saying that, but being so furious that they would not leave, that they wouldn't just go to, because now there's an empty room somewhere at school. And that feels like a crime in college.

Yeah, can I just go stay there? I was so mad. There was also, this was the same roommate that we had lived in a dorm that had a living room in the middle of it. There was a bunch of rooms off of a living room. It's called a quad. And when we moved into that, we were also like, oh, fuck yeah. So we have couches and stuff in the quad. If one of us is like, we got somebody in there.

It's very easy for the other person to just sleep on the couch the whole night. And the first time I tried that, my roommate was not happy about it. It was pretty fucking mad that I made him sleep on a couch when he had class the next day. So we got that done once. That's also a kind of agreement that's very exciting. If you and I were roommates in college, you fit confidence or, and you were like,

let's make a deal that whenever one of us is having sex, the other one sleeps on the couch, and be like, sir, there should be other stipulations to this deal. If, for example, one of us is sleeping on the couch more than the other, perhaps.

He gets a sweetener every once in a while. Some other privileges just for him. Should the balance shift in one direction? Surely there should be some night where I get to sleep in the room and I will stay asleep. I promise to stay asleep while the two of you. We had another one of my apartments in college. It was technically four of us, but really three of us because one of us was just a spot filler. And he was gone every weekend, either skiing or golfing, depending on the season.

and his it was an apartment apartment with two bedrooms and two bathrooms me and my roommate were in one of the bedrooms there was a living room the other two was your roommate a prince all his sports were these were rich people sports it's it's fucking insane I bet this guy is so rich right now he was he seems so rich then you knew nothing about him but he's really happy but he was gone and his roommate our other buddy had a long-term, long-distance girlfriend in like a different state. And there was a weekend where she traveled up to see him.

And she brought like a friend of hers not just like it's a long drive. And you're going to spend a weekend with someone. And just another insane thing that we all did when the, at this point, five of us are hanging out, me and my roommate, his girlfriend and this other girl. And then roommate with girlfriend There's like All right excuse us We're gonna go into our room now

And then it's just me and my roommate and the friend Just sitting in the living room All of us like ah They're having sex over there So So what are you like What are you into? It's even worse than that

It had not occurred to us that You are our responsibility now If this were normal circumstances is we would go away, but you're here. But that's, I think that it's probably even worse than that because I bet that that woman was not even her friend. I think that was somebody who had a car and was willing to do it, which is what we would run into it. I had a friend who dated a girl at LMU, which from where we were going to school, basically felt like another time zone. It was so far.

and we were like, one night I was like, I'll go with you. I don't have a car. And so we got this other guy, Sean, who was not really a friend of either of ours, but like an acquaintance who was like, I'll drive to LMU. So then this guy, Sean and I, who never hang out, were at LMU just being like, well, let's look for a party while they're having sex all night. So we're like wandering around the campus, just peeking in dorm rooms that happen to be open. And people are like shutting their door as we come past. and we can't find shit. And so we're like in a,

we're in the common areas of dorms just playing pool with, you know, six of the balls missing. Just waiting for them to be done until we stumbled on this one, this one common area in a dorm where everyone was, maybe like 12 people were watching the mummy. And we were like, okay, this is our night then.

We're just going to watch the mummy with strangers. This will kill some time. Yeah. And everyone was fine with that. Yeah. Everyone was fine with it. And again, a thing that like,

even at the time, whether you're with someone while their roommate is definitely awake in a bed three feet away, or you're sitting in the living room while your roommate has sex with his girlfriend, it's all stuff that doesn't seem weird in college. I didn't clock for strange in a second.

And then as soon as you're gone And in real life, it's like, if I went home with someone and she was like, my roommate's here, but she's asleep, like, that's fantastic. I'm going to go because I don't. Yeah. Because that would be insane. Well, you don't. There's no sexual etiquette explained to you at any point. Why would there be?

Yeah. Why would parents or anyone sit you down and be like, here's sexual etiquette. Here's what you do. Here's what's not okay. Like that kind of stuff. I mean, you get some of that not okay stuff in terms of like, uh, really. rape and things like that, but you don't get like, hey, it would be, if you're going to try to hook up with somebody, you shouldn't do it in public. Right.

If you're going to, you should be respectful to people around you. And you don't know because you're young. And on like a roommate level also, it's you don't, I think, no one is quite having as much sex in college as everyone assumes they are having. So often, I think what happens when you. come home with someone into a dorm room where there's another person in there, you and your roommate have never discussed this possibility before. Right. So it's not, it's, and you don't want to mess up whatever you have going on.

So you're, you're acting out of character on the fly. Except me being my sophomore year of college, I very briefly had the world's worst roommate. And he, like, 25 minutes after meeting me was, was, in between cigarette smoke and burp and fart was like

we should probably have the sex talk we should probably figure this out because I don't mind you being here if I'm fucking and I hope that goes both ways and I'm just like totally I think I'm going to find a new roommate

as soon as possible I might kill someone and move into their spot because I don't I'm really uncomfortable and I'm really unhappy and that roommate ended up being famous.

That was Sammy Sweetheart. That was my Sammy sweetheart voice. His Mertons Screlly. Yeah. I can remember moments in high school where you just don't know with the rules. And she doesn't necessarily either. And both of you were kind of like feeling it out. Like I remember having being in my girlfriend's room in high school.

And we were both just like under the covers in her bed while someone else was there just hanging out. Another one of our friends was just there. We were all watching a show or something like that. And I was like, I think of what I'm going to do is feel her boom. I'm like 14 years old. And I'm like, so I've got my hand inside her shirt under the covers just sort of like exploring the topography. And her being like, yeah, I think this is also probably pretty normal. And then the other friend vacillating on whether he could actually chop wood if he had to. Like, what are we? This is the most unsex. situation in the world, but we don't know that yet. Girl I was running around with in high school is so rude. And like her parents were home and my parents were home. But her really close friend, Billy, his parents weren't home. So, but he was. So we just went to his house and like chatted with him for a while and watched a movie together.

And then she and I went to go make out in a room in this house somewhere and just left him. I mean, it's his home. So it's not like we abandoned him in the street or anything like that. But it's still, she was starting with like, hey, Billy, can me and this guy I'm seeing come over? And he's like, yeah, of course. And then we just leave him for kind of a long time. And then it's time for me to go home. And I'm leaving.

And he's just like, please don't do this again. Which is right. I'm trying to remember if it ever happened to me the other way. And I'm sure it did where you felt like very taken advantage of in that circumstance. But I also think that even then I would have been like, well, that's just life man, yolo. We're all living our own thing. Right.

Part of me who would say like, hey, man, if it was the other way and my parents weren't home and you needed to use my house. Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't allow it. That's crazy. I wouldn't want that. I don't want you my brother's bed. I don't want you my parents' bed.

And certainly not mine. So those are the options. Yeah, I don't know. It would be nice. I guess I could at some point. That sounds really, just the thought of it sounds awful. But like the, that you try to explain this type of thing to kids. Yeah.

You take a kid down and you're like, here are the rules. Take them down. You see the kid down. You tackle them. You tackle them and then you explain the rules. I'm going to bring it home. Here are the rules. When you don't know what to do and you're out with someone, here's what you do.

Shake that ass. Shake that ass. Yeah, shake that ass. Shake that ass. And wag that dick. Wag that dick. Well, everybody, thanks for listening. This has been a quick question with Soren and Daniel.

You do that. If you liked our theme song, that's by me, Rex. If you want more of this podcast, you can always become a Patreon member. Just pay us a little bit of money, wet our beaks, and you get a little bit of extra from us. We do Patreon exclusive every other week. And, oh, I'm supposed to mention YouTube. Yeah, if you want to see video version of that, this podcast, you could do it on YouTube. And last but not least, thank you to Gabe Harder,

who puts this whole show together. Goodbye. Thank you, Soren. For the song. You're welcome. Yeah. Sure. I think you'll have a great time