Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - None of Us Are Actually Here for Love (Bachelor Recap)

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

WGA Award-Winner Daniel O'Brien shares his thoughts on the importance of the WGA despite the aesthetic appeal of the award itself. Then it’s time for the 2nd installment of our semi-or-maybe-it’s-bi-weekly analysis of The Bachelor, where Soren follows the journey of a speech therapist acquaintance who received a first impression rose but may not be destined for victory according to Bachelor experts.Follow the guys on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social

I have to do this again and say you deserve them. You did it right. You deserve the show. Let's do the show. I watched the show. It's a good show. Great. Thank you. All right.

Let's move on. I've got a quick, quick question for you. All right. I wanna hear your thoughts. I wanna know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you. All right. The answer's not important.

I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? Who would I be? Don't you remember? What's an answer? Word or no? God, who is that?

Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer answer they're gonna find it i think you'll have a great time here i think you'll have a great time here so hello again and welcome to another episode of quick question with soren and daniel the podcast with long answers I am one half of that podcast senior writer for last week tonight with John Oliver the author of how to fight presidents and

winner of as of this recording three days ago six WGA awards Daniel O'Brien joins us always by my coast mr. Soren Booy soren say hello. They gave you six all at once I know. They just decided like, over the next few years, we anticipate that you will continue to win this, so here's six. It's just, it's just too exhausting. See, the WGA is one guy in a van.

He drives the awards back and forth from his house where he makes them to the ceremony. And he's like, this is just, it's just so much easier if I just leave these all here right now. Now do you know, you showed it to me for anyone who's just listening, it's a big bird with a, that sort of like morphs into the bottom of a trophy. Do you know like what, who that is? Like what that, why it's a bird, any of that?

I'm sure it's written down somewhere. I'm sure it's even been explained to me at some point. I think actually this is for our listeners who don't know, this one actually is from 2019, the one that I'm holding up. So it's not the one that I just got, but that one's downstairs. It sort of terminates at the bottom in like,

I think a pen? Like an old timey pen maybe what no oh you mean the the bird the bird terminates in an old-timey pen oh yeah I see that I see that maybe a bird is it maybe like a book open is it a pages a whale into it I okay I got it It's pages turning into a bird and the legs of the bird are a pen. Yeah Okay, it's a it's a giant monument to say we are better with words than we are with sculpture Which is one of the founding principles of the Writers Guild, right? Not so good at building things other. Yeah, we're not visual storytellers Well, Daniel, congratulations. Congratulations on another WGA award.

That's wonderful. Thank you. Do you know the company you're in? Do you know who else won awards? Who else won awards? I don't know all of them off the top of my head. This is gonna sound like such a champagne-y problem. We might've talked about this before, but I

can't stress how strange and unfund the WJ award ceremony is. Okay. They... Give me a picture. Where are you? It's famously... We're in New York in the Edison Ballroom where they used to have the Streamys and Webby Awards. Oh, yeah. So you know it. You know it.

I've been there. I've been there and it's um, it's a famously like boozed up Affair it's a it's a very like like they want you incredibly drunk. There's a cocktail hour in the beginning and then They seat you at your table. You're not allowed to stand and mingle anymore You have to go to your table and then like wedding style they Serve you dinner before anything happens. There's not like some kind of preamble going on while you're eating. You're just sitting there eating at a table

with your coworkers and some other people who might be sat at your table because they're also with HBO or they're also in your category. And your you didn't your job didn't all fit at one table so you're sort of spread out so it's a mix of your co-workers and some strangers and you're eating though the one main meal they have which is chicken and vegetables and if you say I can't have

that I'm because there was too much dairy involved in their meal. So I just said, is there a vegan option because of my dietary restrictions? And then they give you dry quinoa and four cubes of tofu. This is, those are the options. It is chicken, it is tofu, period. And you sit there and you eat for, I don't know, 90 minutes or something like that and they keep pumping you full of alcohol and then it's a very long ceremony and because no one in it is

like the fanciest of fancy people because not only is it writers but it's writers in New York, it's not even the LA Hollywood writers, They're having their own ceremony at the same time, slightly earlier, which is nice. But because it's untelevised and unfancy, there's no, there's no playoff music. Everyone gets to talk for as long as they want. And there's a lot of people who genuinely this is the only like awards thing they go to really. This is it's not like you're you see the same people at Golden Globes and SAG and Academy Awards and Emmys kind of thing. These are these are writers who are like this is the this is the thing that they get to do a year and as much as there are like late night variety categories like the one that

I'm in and there's movies and tv shows. There's also a lot of awards for like writing promotional copy, advertorial copy, and there's like journalism awards and radio play awards. These are all valid categories of things. I don't know any of them or anyone who's in them. So there's just, it's a lot of time hearing lists of names, working on things that are so much more important than the thing that I'm working on and they get so much less recognition,

but I still just do not give a hoot because all I'm thinking about is I want this thing to be over so I can get my real meal. Cause the tofu and quinoa didn't count. Right. And I'm wearing a suit and I should be rewarded for wearing a suit with some fucking chicken fingers and French fries.

And then we get to our category, which is usually last because there's like 900 of us. There's so many people in, not in the category, there's like five shows in the category, but the writing staffs are huge. And it's the, I think that the most unfair thing in this whole affair is the presenters, I don't believe, are told in advance just how many names they have to read when they're announcing the nominations

because there are, it's, our category was presented by Michael McKean and Annette O'Toole, very cool to see them and I'm sure someone was like hey Michael McKean you're in town for Saturday live 50th anniversary special. Do you want to get free meal and get picked up in a car and where it's so fun and Present at an award show and he's like sure I'll do that. I used to be on SNL I'll do this and then he gets on stage and sees the teleprompter and it's like All right, the writers of Late show with Stephen Colbert and then he reads fucking 25 names a lot of them

He's never seen before and he's like, all right got through it. Okay next up Seth Meyers Writing staff and then 25 more fucking names. And does that five times? They say everybody's name one after the other. And I can tell that they are not presented in the teleprompter phonetically. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you can, because we in the audience can also see all of the names on a screen. And so we know if they're screwing up or just doing their best. What? That's gotta be like a, the WGA, they fight so hard for like name recognition. They fight so hard for, in our show for instance,

the fact that you're gonna get billing, your name's gonna pop up with the beginning of the episode or at the end of the episode makes a big difference. How your name is gonna pop up, whether of the episode or at the end of the episode makes a big difference. How your name is gonna pop up, whether it's gonna be with somebody else, like they're gonna stack them or it's just gonna be alone on the screen for a while.

Like these are all really big things that the WGA tries to like fight for on every single one of your deals. And it's so funny and it's so perfect that they're like, and everyone will be named individually. and it's so perfect that they're like, and everyone will be named individually. But anyway, I don't mean to complain. And I think we've already talked about it before,

but we won. It's your sixth, Daniel. It's your sixth award. You're allowed to complain at this point. You are proven you're not resting on your laurels. You're proving that this is deserved. They are. These awards, I don't even know what you're gonna do with all of them.

They just pile up or do you give them away? I for... Oh boy. The Emmys are spread out across family. The Writers Guild awards, because that's not like... I love to look at them and have them and it's very meaningful to me. I love to look at them and have them and it's very meaningful to me. They're like famously used as a punchline in 30 Rock as a stand-in for like an unimpressive award that you wouldn't brag about because people can recognize an Oscar

and they could recognize even an Emmy or a Grammy. A Writers Guild Award feels and is very much like an industry trophy, you know, like, I'm sure there's the Plummy Awards for plumbers or the whatever awards, awards that are not going to really break through to the mainstream. That's what the WGAs feel like. And for that reason, I'm not like gifting them to family.

Nobody knows what the WGA is. But for everyone listening, this is the Writers Guild of America. There's two divisions of it. There's East and West. But you're in the Writers Guild if you've written something that has been produced. So generally people think of that as television and movies, but I

guess it extends into other other places as well. Is it is it radio plays and stuff like that? Yeah. Okay so WGA it's it's famously hard to get into because it's so hard to get a job in television. They say as soon as you join the WGA people are like you know it's harder to get into the WGA than the MLB. And the MLB, for anyone who also doesn't know, that's fucking baseball. You can't be a professional. It's harder to be this than a professional baseball player.

I don't know if I still believe that. I haven't touched the numbers myself. It's not. I don't care what the numbers say. And so it's just the writers guild, which is super crucial. It's like when we had the strike and everything, that's all the writers guild trying and advocating

on behalf of creatives who the industry at every turn is trying to fuck. And so the writers guild is wonderful. They are very good at doing all of the stuff that a creative person would not be good at doing, like fighting for themselves, advocating for more money, making sure that they're getting their credits. It's not an overstatement to say that the Writers Guild is the only reason that good shows exist or have existed or will ever exist. It's like the easiest statement to make in the world

because good shows exist when writers gain experience and mentorship and knowledge. And they get that when they have protection at work and the room to learn and grow and be mentored. And those protections are in place because the Writers Guild fought for them 100 years ago and it's fighting for them every year since and meeting every new modern challenge that comes at it.

Right, it's a wonderful- Dinner fucking sucks though. So it's nice that they're doing their own award show. That's wonderful that they're also recognizing the people who are out there. I just, I can't conceive of a world in which I want something that weighs 15 pounds, duplicated six times in my house.

It has no other function than to sit there. At least with the Webbies, I was like, if I get enough of these, I can make like a really good box spring. Yeah. I can put these under my bed and it would be right under the mattress and it would be really nice.

Okay, well congratulations, Daniel. Hey, thanks buddy. Congratulations on that. Yeah. Thank you. It's great to be part of this union and great to be in these categories. Awards are silly, but we still humbly accept them

and they're fun. I know that you feel you have to say that every time. You have to acknowledge that you feel it's silly that you won awards. And I'm just going to fucking have to do this again and say, you deserve them. You did it right. You do the show. Let's do the show. I have to record this podcast so I can go back to work. You are doing an excellent job. You're great at your job and you deserve this award, Daniel. I watched the show, it's a good show. Great, thank you. All right, let's move on.

Speaking of shows, speaking of some of the best prestige television out there, I want to talk to you about The Bachelor because we checked in about it last week and it's been two weeks. I feel like this could be bi-weekly. That is what that means, right? I have no idea. Semi-weekly, bi-weekly, I'm not really sure which one it is. But every other week, let's say that.

I want to check in with you about The Bachelor. A fun little side note, in our first episode talking about The Bachelor, Soren revealed that someone he knows was on The Bachelor and he was very proud that the someone he knows on the very first episode got not just a rose but like a special rose got like a first impression rose a premium rose first impression rose which means she got one

on one time with the Bachelor it's very exciting Soren was pumped about it and thought it was a great sign for his friend, person he knows. I talked to my coworker, Ali, who recaps Bachelor and Bachelorette for vulture.com and is the closest thing to a bachelor expert as could exist. And I brought this person up and she goes, oh yeah, she's gonna lose. I was like, what?

Like, yeah, the person they gave the first oppression rose to, they're never gonna make it. What? I know. All right, all right. I mean, Ali's entitled to her opinion, but I'm gonna like fill you in. So for anyone who didn't listen to that episode,

I know somebody on The Bachelor. Not well, she's my child's language therapist, but there was a month where she was gone and and she was, it turned out she had been filming The Bachelor and I was like, well then I'm gonna watch The Goddamn Bachelor because I am curious now. And she's been killing it. I'll give you like a quick update of her first. She, there's frequently drama on the show as you would expect. Um. Put it on the poster.

Ready for this season of The Bachelor? There's gonna be drama as you would expect. The exact same amount as you were expecting, we will provide. She is, she's so removed from it all in a way that I find very baffling because there are definitely moments where there's one girl out on a date, you know what, I'm really gonna make an effort here, there's one woman out on a date with him, they call each other girls, that's why it's so fucking hard.

They talk about themselves as girls. Okay, so there's one woman out on a date with him. She won it by riding a bowl or whatever. And then the other ones are all just in a room together fighting. And usually it's only two, but the other ones all kind of pick sides and it becomes like they're always fighting about time with him or whether they're actually committed to the show or whether they're being nice to the other girls. There's lots to complain about. As they're fighting, I'm noticing Alex isn't even there. Alex is frequently just not involved in these moments.

By default, when you're in proximity to it, you speak it all, you're on his side all of a sudden. And so you're just like, you sink into this quagmire of the drama of the show. And for whatever reason, I don't know why, if the producers are protecting her, she's just unscathed by it. She's not in those moments. She's not there or she is there. She does not speak. She's somehow next to both girls who are in the fight, like hugging them and like giving them like, touching them, giving them supportive rubs and stuff. It's like Roger and American dad,

like you're like, there's like on one side, you see like one girl crying. And then on the other side of the room, you go to the other girl crying and somehow Alex is over there too. It's like, hey, it's fine, it's fine, we're good, we're good. And I don't know why she's allowed to do this. It's really great.

She just exists above it all. It does seem like to pivot this into a movie pitch, it feels like it could be a fun, more modern update of like a Miss Congeniality, where one of the contestants is like an undercover FBI agent who is there to uncover some kind of huge scandal that's been happening behind the scenes and she just needs to go undercover as one of the contestants.

And that's why you don't really see her doing any of the challenges. Because she's doing recon in the background, we'll just like drop from the ceiling every once in a while and pat Grazilda on the head and be like, it's okay, Grazilda, don't worry about it. And like suddenly test for a wire and then remember, oh wait, we're all fucking mic'd up, nevermind. That's an example of a joke you could have in the movie. She's in another room trying to hack into a computer.

Right. Yeah. So somehow, I don't know why she's allowed to do this. She's also- The bachelor's clearly Vladimir Putin and no one addresses it He takes a lot of girls on these individual dates Alex is rarely one of them But like there even when there's opportunities were like it should be drama There's this moment where this they go to Madrid Spain and as you know Madrid Spain They got to do some bullfighting. Oh okay man I'm glad you filled me in because I do not know. Gotta do some bullfighting there. I think those are Hemingway's

words and they they get into a ring they kind of like learn bullfighting. They have on these the shittiest like spirit Halloween matador costumes and then uh the the real challenge is that they have to do bull riding just a complete disrespect for the entire tradition of Madrid. There's like a mechanical bull that they're gonna ride on like they're the fucking lazy saddle or whatever the bar is that's got one of those. A mechanical bull that they brought to Madrid from like fucking Nashville or something. That's native to Madrid. And there's a professional matador there. It's a woman. Her whole family has been matadors. She is the first in her family who is a first female matador because they've got to have some sort of expert to sanction this. And you just like see the depression on her face. And they're like, and now we're gonna make them right off a machine.

And the girls get on and they, none of them last more than like six seconds. There's one at the very beginning who does like 18 seconds. And then, and then Alex gets on. And Alex has a strategy. And so this thing has horns. And she just Gets all the way down on it and wraps her arms around the like puts a full Nelson on the the horns of this thing sure

And it looks very uncomfortable. It looks very funny because it's just this face down ass up person getting flopped around on a bowl Yeah, she doesn't care. She's like she's so like it committed to it. And like, and she's so funny that like, as it's happening, everybody's like, this was it. Like this is how it should have been done. She lasts, she, I don't know. I want to say 24 hours on this goal. It's a long time. I'm glad that people were into it because that sort of lateral thinking, problem solving

doesn't usually make good television for someone to like cut through. Like, no, I understand what you want is for me to look cute and fall down but I'm not gonna do that I'm gonna give you some dogshit television and you're gonna watch me ride this thing for 12 full minutes yeah and and Grant Ellis who is the bachelor was like I love Alex she's so great and you're Amelia you're like she's good that's the episode like that's all I needed I wanted to just hear him say that. And then the girl after her, the woman after her. Hi folks.

So what happened if you heard something and it sounds like we got interrupted? Soren once again failed on his commitment to say woman instead of girl, said girl, got so mad that he slammed his fists on his desk and ruined perhaps forever his audio setup. So we had to leave the record, come back with a brand new setup. There's nothing more humiliating than trying to be better about the way that you speak

and getting so angry that you break something as a man. Yeah. Or that you're like, I was just a guy trying to be good in this 21st century. And then I break something. I tried to use my brain, it didn't work, so then I did violence and that made things worse and I don't understand it. What other tools do I have? Honestly, if this recording sounds fucked up, I'm sorry It's because I said girl instead of woman it got angry at myself

If this society was just a little bit more forgiving that my concern would be pushed to the edge All right, let me get back on track here. She does this, she did this wrestling move on a mechanical bowl. Oh yeah, this is the woman after Alex. Got it. So then this woman after Alex, who is already, she's been trouble on the show before. She's caused a lot of conflict because she keeps stealing them away at moments when she's not allowed to.

And all the other girls don't like that. They're like, if there's no rules, then society crumbles. And this other one's like, well then let it crumble, basically. She's like, I'm getting married. That's why would I care about all of you? I'm here for him. And so she-

Building a castle out of the rubble. She sees Alex do this and she's like, okay, I'll do that too. And she does the exact same move. And Alex is like, ah, that's my move. And then this other woman wins. And she gets a date with him because she won. And Alex just takes it on the chin.

She's just like, oh well. And she doesn't get upset about it. She doesn't complain to the camera about it. She doesn't, in her little one-on-one, I think they're trying to like, and I say one-on-one, I just mean like her and the camera, I think they're trying to coax that out of her, and she's just not providing it.

She's just like, eh, it's all right. Well, she's hot on the trail of an international drug smuggler. She can't really be bothered. Yeah, okay. So that's just an update on Alex. She's doing fine. bothered. Yeah. Okay. So that's just like an update on Alex. She's doing fine. She's on the show.

I think she's going to be on for a very long time. Yeah. You're entirely right. Ali might be right that she doesn't actually get it in the end. Maybe she doesn't even want it in the end. Maybe this is Colleen's theory. Maybe it gets near the end

and he's like vacillating between two women and Alex is like, I just don't think you're right for me. Because honestly, that'd be great. I'm also noticing some deep red flags with this guy as the show goes on. Okay, so just to give you like the highlights of what's happened so far,

there's this one woman named Carolina who is just fucking up everybody's day. But the way that she's doing it is tough not to like because she is the only person who's really questioning why anyone would do a show like this. She's like, her questions are always, I mean, she gets to go on these individual dates with him. She gets to spend a lot of time with him.

And still she's like, this is not enough time to get to know somebody. This is crazy. This is 42 seasons into the show? I know, I know. I think it didn't occur to her until she was in it. And then she was like, I like him, but I see him five minutes a day.

I don't like, and I'm gonna marry this man. And it just, it does, I wanna talk to him more. I need to see him and just talk to him. And as she's doing this, the other girls are like, you're being super negative. And so she's cutting, it's making her a little crazy. Listen, Carolina, none of us are actually here for love. We're so sorry that one of your friends said,

maybe you should try going on The Bachelor to find someone. They didn't mean it. That's not how anyone meets anyone. So she is, she's losing it. She made another girl leave. She confided, okay, so this other girl whose name ironically is Rose, this other girl was in, they were in a room, they were not on television or anything. They were just like talking and she confided something secret to her.

Then Carolina brought that to Grant Ellis and told him. And then he approached the group of girls about it and then Rose about it. And Rose was like, I told you that in confidence. Like what is going on here? And the thing that she told her was also not a super nice thing to say. Sure.

She had said, here, I'll give you like full context here. Carolina had won a contest where they were in like a group date and Carolina had performed on a stage better than the other girls everybody thought. And then Carolina won and she came up on stage and got to do a private performance for Grant and she ended up giving him like a lap dance and kissing him.

And all the girls were like, that doesn't feel good to see. I think I like this guy, that's tough. And so there was some jealousy there. Can I, so sorry, is the the Chaos agent? Yeah, okay We have a name for her great and Rose is the girl who she's in a main fight with Rose So Rose in confidence then when they were still friends Rose had said, you know Grant told me when he was dancing on stage with you that he was thinking of me

fucked up thing to say is somebody but also done in confidence. Carolina, it got in Carolina's head, she got very rattled by it. And so she confronted Grant about it. Grant was like, I did not do that. He then talked to Rose. He's like, Rose, what the fuck? And Rose is like, I thought I heard you say that. so it's like, nobody's really good in this situation.

You're never gonna get to the bottom of who did this and are like, why? The intentions are really what I'm baffled by. I need to get more information on Grant to see if he is dumb enough to do something like that. Because the story seemed fake from the beginning. That seemed like a really strange thing to say. Even if you think you're being sweet,

I don't think you say that. That's still just like an absurd thing for a person to say. Now, Grant might be absurd, I don't know. He's not absurd. He plays basketball, Dan. Okay. That's Grant., he plays basketball, Dan. Okay. That's Grant. A famously normal type of guy.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Part of the reason I think he'd go to Madrid is that he played in Spain for a while maybe with like the Euro League, I don't know. It's so confusing, every time that they like, because he'll go on a date with one of these women and they'll be walking around the streets of Madrid and all of a sudden a soccer ball will roll in front of them and he's like oh wow

a football and he'll kick it and he'll kick it and it'll like go to a kid and then it's supposed to look like the spontaneous game breaks out between him his date and all these children in the streets of Madrid sure this is that did not happen no. And the fact that they're like, the pretense is there is very funny. Or that every single date when it starts, he says, I wanted to take you here. Or I wanted to do this thing with you. And that is never once the case.

Like, Grant is not doing this shit. I think that this is not only a ploy for the audience, but maybe for the women as well, that it in some ways makes you think, here's somebody who's making such a big effort and doing these very big romantic gestures, if it feels like it's coming from him, I'm more likely that I will start to fall in love

with this guy. But it's never him, right? So it's just producers doing it over and over again and him taking credit for it. And so- Right, because in reality, if I was the bachelor on the bachelor and was making up dates, it'd be like, I really wanted to take you here.

It's two blocks from my house. I like it a lot. I know this restaurant's good. My favorite thing about it is I don't have to get a plane to Spain to get there. And then for our next date, I was thinking I would take you to the beach. It's two blocks from my apartment.

It's where I like to hang out. We're going back to that first place. It's just, it's the only other place I know. I'm out of places, frankly. Yeah, I know you didn't love it, but it's trivia night tonight. So you kinda gotta. Be thinking of a name.

Be thinking of a name for our team, please. So they go on these dates, it's all so manufactured and Carolina is like struggling with that. Carolina's like, I don't know this guy at all. And the other girls are like, stop it. None of us know him. That's the whole point of the show. And a lot of them, like there's one

that has really engaged Carolina and been like, hey, if I felt that way, I would be packing my bag right bags right now and going. And I'm like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense to that you're both making a lot of good points here. And it doesn't seem like she did that. She stayed on the show, the girl that woman who confronted her stayed on the show, Rose left of her own accord because she was she already saw the writing on the wall. She was like, this, my relationship is irreparably fucked with this dude. I'm not gonna win this thing.

Why would I stay here? So she leaves. Two other women get kicked off and now we're down to, I think like five. There's only five women left. Yeah, or maybe six, but still. Why did I think there was like 30 women on this show you're not wrong. They they are so many of them get booted right off the bat There are one two, three four

There's at least 20 women There's a lot of women and I'm looking through this list of the women and they I don't know who any of these women are Like so many of them got booted really early. And basically at the end of every episode you lose three more. Yeah. That's something that was very funny and tragic about at least the first season of Love is Blind, the only season that I watched where they have

so many contestants in the beginning before they know who's gonna be the main players in the show. And in the first episode you meet all these people trying to find love in a pod and One of the guys is like my name is Brad or whatever and I like this show where you get to know someone through a wall before seeing each other because

I'm 5'4 and life is tough out there for guys who are 5'4 and I just want to like really I never got a chance to Make a connection with someone before they find out that I'm 5'4", and I just wanna like really, I never got a chance to make a connection with someone before they find out that I'm 5'4", and I'm really hoping to put this love is blind thing to the test. We never fucking see him again for the rest of our lives. He is gone from this show. We don't get to see if his experiment worked,

which I think is to say it did not. Yeah. So this does happen on this show as well, where occasionally they'll, and they really don't address it. They really try this does happen on this show as well, where occasionally they'll, and they really don't address it. They really try to sweep it on the rug, where he was supposed to go on like an individual date with this one woman.

The date doesn't happen because she left the show. And you're like, okay, why? They're not willing to tell you? That's all the information you'll be getting, thank you. And the other women too, they're like, oh, where is she? Oh, she's left the show. She's not coming back. And the other women are like, did you kill her? Yeah.

Is she dead? Are we going to get our phones back or what's up? So it's gotten to the point where everybody, there are some real factions growing. The women do not like each other. They really, now that they're, I mean, they're so open to the idea of falling in love and the conceit of it, at least it feels that way, that obviously it gets harder and harder to watch other women than kiss and hold the guy that you like or that you've trained

yourself to like. And so they're really, it's a torture session. You're just watching these women's faces and they really clue out on the faces. As soon as any one of the girls gets a kiss in public, when any one of the women gets a kiss in public, they are immediately on the other women because they're like, let me see what your face is going to do. Oh, you don't like that. We're zooming in on that.

And it's and I don't. And so there's only one woman there who's like, I think this is a nightmare. I don't think we should be doing this. And the other women are like, stop being so negative. You're breaking the whole house down. I didn't realize how much kissing there is on the show. And I do flash back to like being in my twenties

and being at a party and having a crush on someone and seeing them drunkenly kiss someone else at a party and having a crush on someone and seeing them drunkenly kiss someone else at the party and I'd be like, it's rough, rough. Well I'm going to be sad for a couple of weeks now. I'm certainly not going to like wake up the next day, throw some water in my face and be like, maybe today I'll be the one to get the kiss. I'm, I'm just like, that's the end of that book. Basically, we're're gonna close it. I forgot also, because I've also been in a

relationship for so long, kissing feels like such like a non-starter. It's like the idea that watching other people kiss, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's sure. And so when watching these other women get devastated by it, I was like, why are they so upset? And then I was like, trying to think back on my own childhood. And I was like, what is, why are they so upset? And then I was like, trying to think back on my own childhood. And I was like, yes, okay. I do remember how much that sucked to watch the person you like kiss somebody else.

Yeah. There's so much kissing. Everybody kisses. He kisses everybody over and over again. Every time that he has a little one-on-one by the fireplace with them, he's taking them maybe 20 yards away from the other women. They can all see what's going on.

They talk for a little while. He cuddles with them and they get very intimate and then he kisses them. And I was thinking, when you go on a show like this, are you expecting I'm gonna sleep with every single one of these women? And also, do you? Cause they do have time alone. I wonder if that's part of the show and they're just not

showing it. And I mean, the show, this whole plan of like, are you gonna fall in love with somebody? It seems pretty crazy not to have sex with them before you decide you're gonna get married to them. I wonder if they're sleeping with each other occasionally on the show. I think there's even a moment later on where they get 24 hours alone and stuff like that, where he's really trying to decide. And I feel like he must be, but my coworker, Nicole Shabtai, who is great, shout out to her, she watches a lot of reality television,

and she's like, here's what I think is happening. They get into those private cabanas where they're gonna be staying for the next eight hours, and it's just the two of them going, I really love God. I love God too. And them really trying hard not to have sex with each other,

because it is always somebody who's religious. So it always ends up being that. See, my guess would have, I had two guesses for what they do in the privacy pods that we can't see. And one of them would be dropping the masks and saying like, listen, I don't think you're the one for me, but I understand. If you'd like to stay on television for a couple more weeks and maybe get a career out

of this or like whatever you do, do you want to stay on television? Like that's fine Let's just hang out in this pod then and we'll Kick it as friends later. I won't vote you out or anything like that, but just so you know You're not the one for me. I don't mean to break your heart and they're like you're not breaking my heart I am also just here because it's fun and I'm on television blah blah blah the other option I was thinking was also mask off and like, listen, you're not the one. I don't think I want to marry you. I think it would be crazy if we got married based on this TV show. I would like to have sex with you. Does that sound fun? Can we just do that? And like normal people

in their twenties and thirties and they would say, yes. I think it's possible they do that. It's just fine. I think it's a huge risk. I think it's a huge risk to reveal that to somebody in private because if they don't feel the same way, that's going on the air. Like immediately they're betrayed and then they're gonna bring it up and then you, it brings the whole showdown, especially if you're the bachelor who says that.

So I don't think he's doing any of that. The mask never slips. Maybe some of these women might do that, but there's no way he can't. Now, I think that you're right, that there's, I think from the jump, he has maybe three women in mind who he's like, this is my type of person,

this is generally the body type I'm attracted to, she seems really great, these are the people I'm actually interested in. Because that's how dating works. Like you go on dates with a bunch of people and within five minutes of meeting them, you can be like, it's not gonna, this isn't it. Right. And so he knows.

This is a real point of order that I need. Is it like a very horny, slutty show or is it a very prudish show where it's just kissing and got? It's prudish. That sucks. Yeah, dude, it sucks bad. Yeah, it's not a Temptation Island type of thing

where everyone's, ah, I fucked somebody else, God damn it, I didn't mean to do that. They are, it is treated like love is divorced of sex until after marriage. They are. It hadn't occurred to me that it would be prudish and people would see see the guy on television kiss the woman on television and have their hearts broken

it's like you're an adult what are you doing yeah yeah they do I mean I'll say that the I think this is an I don't think this is a problematic thing to say the outfits are not prudish they are that's why I was so horny is because I've seen like teasers and posters and it's like, this is, this is, this is fuckhouse. It's not. And in fact, it's not even like, I wouldn't even qualify the kisses as sexual either.

It's like an intimacy thing. They do bungee jumping together and they're holding one another upside down. And then he says, kiss me. And they kiss each other in a very unsexy circumstance with helmets on. So, so it's not sexy. But I think that the way that they're,

so honestly I think yeah, there's like three people that maybe he has in mind, maybe even fewer than that. And then the other ones, he's got a lead on the show because producers are like, we cannot lose this person. This is what everybody's tuning in to see. So I think it's gonna be like a jury selection essentially.

I think that he gets a certain number that he's allowed, producers get a certain number that they're allowed. And at the end he has to pretend like he's in love with all of them. Yeah. I want two different sketch versions of The Bachelor. I want one where it's the first episode and they're like,

Bachelor meet your 35 women vying for your affection. These women, and he's just like, middle one. Yeah. Middle one, that's the one for me. That's the one. Thank you all for coming out. I picked that one. So that's one sketch.

Done. And the other sketch is, here's the 35 women vying for your affection. And he's like, pass, pass all around. I don't, I, they seem very nice. I know I'm supposed to get to know them, but like I also know myself. I know my type. This isn't. Yeah. Who else you got? There's a lot of insecurity on the show and then obviously it's going to attract a specific type of person to come on the show. Sure. He's got a very weird energy.

Speech therapists with llamas and whatnot. That kind of person. She's this show. Sure. He's got a very weird energy. Space therapists with llamas and whatnot. How? That kind of person. She's an anomaly. I'm gonna say she's an anomaly. So there's a weird thing that's arising with him where you start to see, he talks to these women a lot as not as like real human beings,

but as basically like something to sire his children. He talks a lot about how much he, I know it's gross. He talks a lot about wanting kids and he talks a lot about, every time that he's talking about how serious he is about this, he's like, I'm trying to find the mother of my children. He's never saying, I'm trying to find the love of my life.

He's trying to say that I want to find the mother of my children, which maybe in his mind means the same thing, doesn't sound the same. Yeah, and It's uh, it's a little weird and then he also talks a lot about I guess maybe he's very traditional He talks about how he wants to take care of somebody He wants somebody he can do everything for And there's certainly women on the show who fit that bill who are

They are pretty and then period. That's it and fit that bill who are they are pretty and then period that's it and he's he's really attracted to them in a way where I'm like oh Alex isn't for you I think I think maybe she's not not gonna be yours and there are women who are who have these incredible jobs and stuff they're very interesting we don't talk about that shit at all this is one woman Serafina who is an engineer he doesn't ask her a single question about that job and he went on a date with a lawyer in Madrid and she kept saying to him, wouldn't it be nice to have somebody

who can give you more than just somebody to take care of, who also offers you something in return, who can do the same things you can and then you can build together. And he was like, I've never really thought about it that way. I'm like, all right, dude. But now that I'm thinking about it, no. No.

Yeah, so I think she'll be gone next episode, honestly. Also, and I'm trying, I was really trying to articulate this to Colleen and I was having a hard time, but that's not even what he means. When he's saying, I want somebody that I can provide for, I want somebody that I can take care of, he means monetarily, exclusively. He's not taking any consideration all of the work

that she would also be doing for free in the relationship, but is sort of expecting that without saying it. Right, I think that means I don't want you to work a job. I don't want you to have a life outside of- Yes, 100%. Of housewifery and child-rearing. Yeah, you won't have male friends, you won't have a job. Yeah, I think that that's exactly what he's looking for.

And so you see these other women doing this, wrestling with this cognitive dissonance about it, being like, maybe I can change him. Maybe he doesn't mean that. Maybe he doesn't know what he wants. And it feels like it's all coming to a head in a way where I'm like, I'm not sure that

he's the right guy for any of you either. Wow. Yeah. Maybe this isn't the best way for people to find each other. Oh, you think? I think it's possible. Maybe. Although it's 100% there are women on the show who fit that bill and that probably want

that from him. And if he ends up with one of these two-dimensional cardboard cutout women instead of one of the interesting ones, good from him. And if they, if he ends up with one of these two dimensional cardboard cutout women instead of one of the interesting ones, good for him. That's what he wanted. That's what they wanted. They got each other. It's beautiful. There is somebody for everybody out there. There truly is someone for everyone. Should we, I got a quick question for you Sorin and, and the the listeners I suppose should Should we? Continue recapping the bachelor on the patreon exclusively should we actually like oh

Drive people to to sign up for the patreon. I don't know if they'll be mad about that Yeah, I'll let the listeners answer first on this one. Okay great. Okay so yeah I guess my opinion would be I think I agree with the listeners. Okay great. I think they're absolutely right. All right I'm sick of talking about the Bachelor. We do that everybody does that noise that we're hitting the old dusty trail noise. Well so I think we're gonna the old dusty trail noise. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ah! Well, so I think we're gonna end this podcast now.

We do need a polite version of that noise for non-podcasts, for like a party situation when I'm done having a conversation, but I'm not leaving the party. I'm just leaving the person that I'm with. I would love that option to like nodding and catching up with someone maybe at the cocktail hour of the WGAs and then just go like well, I Gotta go find someone else to talk to you now. Yeah someone that's not you.

I struggle with that regularly. I mean not anymore. Obviously I don't go anywhere But I remember that feeling and I remember think when I was younger don't go anywhere, but I remember that feeling. And I remember thinking, when I was younger I would do this thing where I would either say, I gotta go to the bathroom so bad, and then I would just walk to somebody else. Or, so surely they saw what I was doing. Or I would say, much more honestly, okay well I'm gonna make the rounds,

I'll be back here in a little bit, we should keep talking. And I never mean that, but that last part, but I am gonna make the rounds. It was, there was nothing. It wasn't the best part of getting married. The getting married part was the best part of getting married.

But it felt like a social superpower being the groom at a wedding because everyone knows what the deal is. Everyone knows that you can't stay and talk to anyone for that long and you're not rude if you left. And so everyone I talk to, because you do truly have to make the rounds to everybody.

And everyone I talk to, I would have a good time and then I would be like, all right, I have to go now. And they're like, yes, of course you do. Thank you for this time that you gave me. Every little bit is good. And then I get to just leave and talk to someone else. I understand that I can never do it again and it's just a wedding thing, but man, it was so, what if all conversations were like this

and someone could just decide it's over? It's so, it would be great. I mean, even if you could just just if it was socially acceptable to just go disengage and you just go away. Okay, disengage. Yeah, it's fine. I disengage sometimes too. All right, I'm gonna end the show. Thank you for listening to the podcast. This is a quick question was sort of Daniel, you knew that you liked our theme song. That's by me, Rex, you can find your music anywhere you

listen to music or live concerts in England, if you wanted to go there for, if you really wanted to see them. You can find this podcast in video format on YouTube. It's also an Apple podcast. And if you're interested in even more of Daniel and I, you can do that through our Patreon. We have a special little untucked version

of this show that we do, a little looser, where we talk about other things that are secret, secret, unless you pay. We do Patreon episodes every other week. You can listen to those on app, if you have Apple subscriptions, you can also purchase it there. Thank you as always to our editor,

our producer, sound engineer, the glue to the show, Gabe Harter, and, and fuck, that's it. Did I do it? Oh, we can find Daniel and I on Blue Sky. Goodbye. Bye. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right.

I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right. The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What did I beat you to numbers?

Words without words, word and all that Who do we know? Oh forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here