Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 40 - "You Only Get What You Give" - DOB

Episode Date: May 15, 2020

We made it to 40 episodes! In this one the guys talk about Soren's big life change, and party etiquette they want to see go away post COVID.  And as always, thanks to Skillshare.  Get 2 months of Premium Membership at Skillshare.com/QQ.

Hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, a podcast where two buddies playfully mock each other to mask how much affection they have for each other. So we might as well call it the Disguise Disguise. Soren, I found a way to make the intro fun for me again. I am one of your hosts, author, Last Week Tonight writer, and 1999's winner for Best Actor in a Foreign Language Short Sketch, Daniel O'Brien. I am joined as always by Soren Bui. Soren, say hello. Hello.

Hello, Brian. I am joined as always by Soren Bowie. Soren, say hello. One of the things that I've learned about the intro to this show that is sort of new over the last, I want to say, four or five episodes, is I front load so much stuff in the intro that just gets burned because you're not going to tug at any of those threads. You refuse to take any of the bait that I'm leaving here. I always pick up some breadcrumb from you from the intro. But obviously, I'm not going to go back through and make you go through each thing in detail. I think last week, depending on when these episodes come out, no idea. I mentioned voluntarily submitting the information to a first grade teacher that I didn't have any friends. And there was just such a very felt and lived in silence afterwards.

I was just like, okay, so he's not, no questions from him there? Okay, let's get to his fucking thing then. I was just marveling at how you always find a way to be so on brand. Thanks to Skillshare for supporting Quick Question. Take the next step in your creative journey with thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people on topics including illustration, design, photography, video, freelancing, and more. You get two free months of premium membership at Skillshare.com slash QQ. We're going to get into this show, but before that, we wanted to thank our listeners who

prefer to be called the Bacon Truthers. I don't know if this exists, but I like the idea that a portion of our audience thinks there's something strange going on with Bacon, and that's why he hasn't been on the show for months now. Something is afoot. It doesn't smell right that Bacon hasn't been here and we keep coming up with different reasons why he's not here. It's weird because he is here and does have a microphone and could explain himself anytime he wanted. Bacon? I'm with the truthers, personally. Not about being a fan of the show

but just about thinking that something's wild. We will ask each other some quick questions and hopefully get some long answers. But before that, as we've been doing for the COVID-19 quarantine edition, we're going to do a quick two-minute check-in with each other on the quarantine. Soren, how's yours going? Oh, man. It's so nice to have it be over with. I'm so pleased that it's done. I'm back out there. I'm in circulation. I am living life.

You're shaking hands. You're glad handing. You're meeting the people, pressing the flesh. My P's and my S's are spitting in people's faces. It feels so good. I'm out there. I'm at the different, like an old pizza hut, salad bars, just like talking and piling wet lettuce and pudding on my plate. Oh, yeah.

Now, I heard for a while for the quarantine, they had to take the plexiglass away from those pizza huts and redistribute them at like supermarkets. So now it's just, it's still completely open for you. That's got to feel great. So much more freedom. I mean, I'm a big hands talker. So like I'm not hitting anything as I'm going. It's wonderful. I don't think a lot of people know the, the, the real genuine pleasure you get from just

plunging a whole hand into one of those cylindrical tubes of garbanzo beans at a Pizza Hut salad bar. There's nothing else like it. It's sometimes, you know know you have a job where it changes the way that you watch movies where like you start to watch a movie and you start to see how the sausage is made or like it affects some way in which you appreciate the film i i've gotten to the point now where i've been in quarantine long enough i've been doing this this dance long enough where i have to prepare before i go outside and when i come back home that when i see people

so careless in movies and shows i'm immediately affected by it uh where a bunch of people are just like packed into an area and I'm just like oh okay all right everybody let's be cool I my quarantine fear revelation on top of all the normal ones. Um, speaking of getting outside, like you were joking about doing, I've been running is like the only thing that I can do because like we're allowed to be outside to do it and it's exercise and I, I can't possibly run inside my apartment. So I just try to do it as much as possible and it's getting nicer in New York now. And so the, the, the sheer amount of people who are clearly left with no other options riding those rented city bikes around for the first time in a very long time, it's really on the rise and it's really fucking scary. I know it's not the scariest part of the coronavirus by any means, but you can see in the eyes of these people that they're like, I think I might have been off a little bit more knock and chew.

It's yeah. I mean, it's obviously not the worst, but definitely a new terror you didn't anticipate. Are you running in a mask? I am running in a bandana. Like I tried running in the mask that I use for like my normal walking around, walking Jackson business. And I thought I was going to die. So I only did the one run with that. And then I've been doing the bandana, which is, I mean, like largely for show at this point.

I don't know how effective it is at saving me or anyone around me. But you got to understand, Soren, I'm so fucking fast out there, man. But you've got that. No one's catching up to me. That virus is not catching me. You've got that slipstream behind you. Whatever you're infected with is just like this wake behind you. I'm the same way in that I'm very fast. No, I'm the same way in that I went for a run. I went for a run, tried to do it in the mask, and immediately it was like, this is untenable, and took it off and just stayed about 12 feet from everybody because there wasn't where I live. There's not a lot of people. There's a campus called West Los Angeles campus. And I

tried to go on there to go run around and a security guard who had his mask down below his nose, just like hanging out on his chin was like, where's your mask? And I was like, oh, I, I can't wear it when I'm running. And he was like, you can't come on campus unless you have a mask. And I was like, fuck it, motherfucker. Look at you. But then so since then, I haven't gone running, but I've been riding my bike with the kid trailer on the back of it, which that trailer is heavy. I'd say it weighs like 40 pounds. And then you put my son in it, and it's another 40.

And I do these hills around here here and it just kicks my ass. And I've been trying to do it with the mask on. And I can feel like the mask getting sucked into my mouth. I'm breathing so hard. And I don't know. It's just exercise is impossible right now. It's tough. I know that everyone selfishly feels like, how about everyone follows the rules except me?

Then things will be good for everybody. But that's truly how I feel about running because I'd been doing it for a while on this same trail. And it's a nice trail and I love doing it. And now there are a lot of people who are on this trail for the first time because nothing else in New York is open. And now there are a lot of people who are on this trail for the first time because nothing else in New York is open. And so they're either taking up a lot of space or they're, again, shakily riding these bikes for the first time in years. And so I'm like, look, I get it. We all want to go outside, but not all of us can't. So I'm going to. And you won't. Yeah. I tried to, I was like looking for places to bike with him. I was getting pretty sick of these hills. And I was like, I know that I can ride down by the river. If I spot by the library,

I can get in. And that means when I'm talking about the Los Angeles river, which if people don't know it's from Greece, it's got that like, just like a big concrete river. Yeah. You could run right. Yeah.

And so I was, I was like, Oh no, there's a bike trail right along there. And it was such a stupid mistake because you know, there's 1500 people within the mile that you're trying to do also on that same trail because nothing is open. People are just scrambling to the last things that have stayed open. Yeah, it's bad.

But let's get into our fun show. Soren, I have a quick question. Okay, shoot. You got any news for me? Yeah. You got anything new that happened? Yeah. Okay, so I mentioned a while ago that my wife was pregnant.

She no longer is. Because we had a baby. Jesus Christ, Soren. God almighty. Oh my God. Soren, sincerely, no. we had a baby jesus christ soren god almighty oh my god soren sincerely no unacceptable um we yeah we have a baby girl um it was it was scary uh we thought we were gonna have her at home because my wife woke up in the middle of the night i would say like three or four and she felt some contractions but she has been having these things called braxton hicks all throughout her third trimester which are just these occasionally you get weird contractions and

you're like okay well that's nothing that's nothing new and then they started to have some pattern to them and she thought okay maybe this is it now this was on april 30th and she thought, okay, maybe this is it. Now, this was on April 30th, and she's not due until May 10th. She was like, ooh, that's early. But she sat through it for about an hour before she woke me up and was like, I think we need to go to the hospital. I think at some point we need to go to the hospital. We should call my parents

because the plan was to have her mom and dad come out to watch Ronan. They had been social isolating specifically for this purpose, and they were going to drive. And it's going to take them eight hours to get here. So we're like, okay, we'll call them. And we have a nanny who's also been helping us like once a month.

She's like our emergency person to call when this happens. And we call her and we're like, Oh, we may need you to come over. She's like, okay, I'll start getting ready. And almost immediately calling started to transition into active labor in our house. And so we called Maria back and we're like, you have to get over here right now. And Colleen was like on the floor of the bathroom, trying not to bear down. And she was like, I think we're going to have this baby here. And I was like, I don't want to do that. And so I'm thinking of like where to set up in the tub or on the floor and starting to get some stuff ready. And we called 911. And in the middle of my call with 911, she comes out of the middle of the contraction.

She's like, okay, I think I can get in the car right now and i said never mind and hung up on 9-1-1 we run outside maria as maria is driving our old nanny is driving up and uh and we just like pass each other like two ships in the night ronan is like crying in the house because he's heard his mom screaming and he doesn't quite understand what's going on and uh colleen has another contraction right there outside by the car as people are walking their dogs outside in the early morning, hearing this woman just scream and this man holding her up. And we put a towel down in the back of the car. She climbed in. I threw the car seat out of the car because she needed to be in the back. She got in on all fours and we drove to the hospital as fast as we could we got to the

hospital they were very nonchalant about the whole thing like is she here for an appointment and i was like no no um and we finally get her up to the room they get her on the the bed and there's just a head there like she is crowning immediately. Wow. She was trying not to push in the car, but this baby was just there. And we could have had it at home. We could have had it in the car. She was just very cool and calm about not having this baby until it was time. And then within half an hour of being at the hospital, we suddenly had a baby.

Unreal. Yeah. It was wild. And the first time that we had a child, it was the exact opposite. We, she was in active labor for like 10 hours, which is unheard of. That's like a Guinness record. I remember that it was the exact opposite. You spend all that time in the hospital and then you're like, fuck it. We're having this baby at home. And you left and you delivered it at home. Yeah. Um, it was, it was wild. That was kind of what we were anticipating again was like, okay, well this, this will take a while. And it did just did not at all. This baby

was just ready to come. And it was almost two weeks early and scary at first. And then really, really, really great. And has been great ever since. And she's gaining weight. She's doing awesome. She's a good baby. That's fantastic. And she's gorgeous. You sent pictures. My wife is also healthy. I should note that because people will wonder. My wife is a perfectly, she's doing great. My wife is wonderful. Couldn't be better right now.

Yeah, it's obviously I somewhat unfairly don't have any babies, but it is the older you get, the more things you learn and train yourself to say whenever someone, you know, has a baby. You know, I've gone from the first time a friend or family member had a baby that I could be like, oh, yeah, they had the baby. Bye. That's the information I have. And now it's like the baby, seven pounds, five ounces, 18 inches long, 10 fingers, 10 toes. Mommy, baby are healthy. I think that's it. I think I've given you the list of information that I have since learned

are all of the follow-up questions from anyone who has ever met someone who's had a baby. Right. It's a weird song and dance we all have to do around birth. And even when a baby's in utero where you don't specifically ask how the baby's doing, you ask how mom is doing, because that's an indication then they don't have to tell you if they don't specifically ask how the baby's doing. You ask how mom is doing because that's an indication. Then they don't have to tell you if they don't want to. And like, it's a, it's weird.

I, I've, if I was like, write a book about it, I know that it's all built around sexism. It's a built around, like not letting women, uh,

have to express something that's going to be displeasing to the people around her. The reason like we don't tell people that you're pregnant until three months in is because it's not as viable. Then like there's a lot of people who lose a child and that first trimester very early on. And it's so, so common. And basically it's not what we should do is be you tell everybody and then you have a

support network around you. If for some reason you don't get to have that child, You have people around you who are like you can emotionally count on. Whereas when it's a secret, then when you don't get to have the baby, you're devastated and no one else around you knows what the fuck is going on with you. You're just a different person all of a sudden. people to talk about this but uh when has that ever stopped us before it is even if you do know someone who is pregnant and then they they tragically of course something goes wrong and they lose the baby um even the messaging around that it's obviously sad but it's also very strange where it happens through like back channels where the messaging is like starts from the parents obviously and then it's just like if you could just spread this information out to other people right and then we'll all just not talk about it forever yes and uh like i understand that i like i think about i imagine sad things that i can that could happen to me and and thinking like you know i what i don't want is a group of people looking at me and talking to me about this but it's still it seems like an uh an unhealthy uh societal thing that

we've built up about the communication yeah surrounding these things i remember i don't know okay so we did a sketch a long time ago called yeah segue internet high school do you remember that one or like if the internet was a high school i do yeah okay so in that i play facebook it's one long take i'm kind of in the middle of it. And I had to say a bunch of gibberish in the middle of it. That day was the day that we had found out that we thought that this was when I was having my first son. I was having my first son. My wife was having our first son. And we found out erroneously that something was wrong. And like that we had to talk to a genetic counselor and stuff about whether we wanted to terminate the pregnancy and things like that. It was a, it was a very scary time and one

that was also very secretive. And I was in no headspace to be doing a sketch. So if you go back and watch, like, I am just not there. Like my eyes are not in it, not there. And I ended up ruining probably like 46 takes because of it. Yeah, this is really going to sound like a classic Dini Obini goof-em-up, but you were legitimately terrible that day. Yeah, yeah. I had no idea. I'm just learning right now that there was a reason behind it. I thought, I don't know. Clearly, he's not present.

I didn't think it was anything potentially devastating. I thought it was just like you screwed up a few times and it's one take. So when you screw up in the middle of a one take shot, then you've made everyone's day a little bit worse. And I thought you were just getting in your head about that over and over again. Because there was that, too. That was compounding on top of it as well. But it was like I was just not in a place to be doing a sketch. So you could go back and watch it and you can look at it and it's clear like, oh, something is different.

His eyes are dead. Man. You just shouldn't have done it. The show goes on, Dan. Well, I'm happy everyone's healthy i can't wait to meet your little daughter whenever all this is over and give you guys presents and so forth and so on and yeah get on a plane again that seems fun too it's gonna be a really great trip you can watch a movie on that plane oh hell yeah i wonder if they'll have any given sunday

I wonder if they'll have any given Sunday. I want to know about your relationship with your dog right now. That's not the most fun thing in the world right now. On a real level, for a few weeks now, he's had loose stool and sometimes blood in his stool and i took him to the vet a bit ago and uh had his his poop tested for all the things you get it tested for and it all came back negative and i got these pills that i've gotten before which is just sort of like a stool firming up thing that you give your dog. And also the standard pet advice that is either a bullshit dog coup or legitimate advice where they just say give him rice and chicken. Right. Yeah.

Boiled rice and chicken to his normal food from like 80 20 rice chicken normal food 70 30 until you eventually transition him back into his normal food and i've been doing that and like clockwork every time we get back into normal food uh the the problem is just back and i'm at the point now where I feel like it's happened enough times that I've gone back to the chicken and rice and done the whole transition again, maybe three whole cycles of this now where he does start to get a little bit, a little bit better and then relapses. So I think now is time to go to another,

to go to the vet again, which itself can be very frustrating for for any dog parent because they are expensive they often don't know because we don't really have like the communication that you could have with when you're talking to a person and like they can send the poop off somewhere and like oh it came back negative So monitor him and make sure. And if he gets worse, then we'll talk about it. We'll do something else. You know, there's, there's, there's so much that they don't know. And it's extra scary with him because he's got like a heart murmur that doesn't stop him from doing anything or being playful or, or, or, or seeing the world

through the eyes of a poet as he does, as he says. Um, but it it just means like if we needed to do a more thorough exam that required putting him to sleep then it's a scary thing because you don't want to put a 14 pound dog with a heart murmur to sleep so you know been dealing with that and like the i i he still has all his energy and he's he's still like the the happy his personality is the same he doesn't seem exhausted or anything like that so So it's not the most worrying thing in the world. And I laugh about the strange things that have been added to my life in quarantine because now I'm giving him medicine that he hates. that he hates and I have to open his mouth and throw it down his throat because I know what you're going to say listeners peanut butter doesn't work mixing it up with the chicken and rice doesn't work he will find it and spit it out he's very good at it there's no one better in the world than separating food in his own mouth and spitting out the thing that he knows he doesn't

like so I have to throw it down his throat and then hold his mouth closed and stare at him and make eye contact until he swallows it for real and he'll like fake he'll fake swallow it a few times your dog famously uh eats maraschino cherries and spits out the stem tied in a knot i absolutely and it's really cool um but so i just have to like hold his mouth shut for a while and stare at him and i know he doesn't understand um and the other thing that has been added to most of my days now is like he'll have this very disgusting wet stool when we're off on our walk and then before i get inside i have to like fully clean his butt because it's like, it's like, you know how explosive diarrhea can be on,

on, on anyone. He's no exception. And that's like, I don't normally have to, to clean his butt all the time, but now it's like, Oh, this is another,

this is part of my routine. Now I got to shove this pill down his throat and, and hold his mouth shut for a minute. And I got to wipe his ass before going in the house. Otherwise he's going to wipe shit all over my couch or my carpet. No, you're this is my day. Now I'm wearing a mask.

I'm doing this. I spent some time with your dog. I've, I've dug that for you. It's a smart dog. Um, he's no dummy. And I wonder if in his mind right now,

what's happening is you started giving him something new that he has. You forced on his throat that he does not think his food. He's got some terrible diarrhea from it. And it's only because you've decided you like wiping his ass a lot like in his mind it's like well this is a really roundabout way of getting to this point yeah i really do think if he had the the gift of language that at some point he'd be like listen man this quarantine thing was pretty cool in the beginning, but now you've added a whole lot of other stuff to my day that I don't really understand how it fits in. We were fine before. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, Dan. I hope that that resolves itself. That's okay. Our relationship is still good. That's good. This episode of Quick Question is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of inspiring classes for creativity. There's one that I found recently,

Daniel, that's called Everyday Animalism, Find Calm and Creativity in Living Simply. And just reading that gave me such this sigh of relief of like, oh my God, life could be better. I have such a cluster of stuff now. You accrue at being in your mid-30s and then also having children. You accrue so much stuff and there's just nowhere to put it. And so I started taking these classes to try and learn about minimalism and how I can just shed. And I have not taken any of it into heart yet, but the class itself is so soothing that it feels like it's doing the job for me. That sounds right up my alley because we have a planned hiatus week coming up for work, which is a thing that used to mean something. And now it just looks like a big

mountain of time that I need to fill in between sleeping. So learning minimalism and essentialism sounds like it's a perfect project for that week for me. Focusing on what's important and getting rid of the clutter. Of course. Sign me up. I think everybody could use it. They have a lot of classes on productivity and lifestyle and entrepreneurship, creative writing, film and video, kind of everything. Whatever you're interested in, they've got a class for it. Skillshare offers creative classes designed for real life and all the circumstances that come with it. It's always the right time to stay inspired, express yourself and connect with a community of millions. Now, one of their bullet points is that they settle your mind. And that's like the itch that needs scratching for me is like, just watching this makes me feel better. It just calms me. If you're

anxious, explore classes that may help you express what you're feeling through creative self-discovery. If you're uncertain about what's next, a creative challenge or productivity classes may offer a helpful structure for setting small goals and feeling a fulfilling sense of accomplishment. Spontaneous acts of creativity may help break up the routine of a day spent indoors, explore workshops, classes, and more, all with Skillshare. Explore your creativity and get two free months of premium membership at Skillshare.com slash QQ. That's two free whole months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free. Get started and join today by heading to Skillshare.com slash QQ. I do have another quick question for you.

Can I go? Oh yeah, go ahead. This is a question that I was nostalgic for because it was, it belonged to a time before the now where we don't interact with other humans. But when you would go to like a, a bar or a club or a baseball game or something,

and you're standing at a public urinal, you haven't started peeing yet, and there are people all around you, maybe on other sides, maybe even airport, and there are other people behind you maybe waiting for a urinal. What are you saying in your head to get yourself psyched up enough to pee? Assuming I'm in that situation, which is rare, because I'm notoriously a very shy peer. And and if i feel like i'm gonna get myself in a situation where there are people next to me i'll be like wow it's not in the cards for us today we'll just we'll hold it we'll just let this turn into whatever kills us in the end

just some poison inside um but if i really have to psych myself up i will say in my head my own name like a probably clinically worrisome amount of times i like my name a lot and i'm a fan of myself so there's a lot of like come on daniel daniel daniel daniel daniel you're fucking daniel you got this daniel you really do psych yourself up i love it i do yeah and so what about like is this the same sort of circumstance like if you let's say you have somebody over at your house uh you've just had intimate relations with somebody and you're gonna go pee in the bathroom there's no reason to shut the door you you've both seen everything and now they can hear anything that's happening in the bathroom so you have a small window of time in which you should be peeing or otherwise

it's weird did you do you do it there as well when there's an time in which you should be peeing or otherwise it's weird. Did you, do you do it there as well? When there's an expectation that you need to be peeing, do you do it at all those circumstances? I shut the door. Sorry. You do. Yeah. Oh,

I thought the mystery was over. No. Okay. I mean, we're not married. Yeah. There must be some secrets left. Well, I'm not saying you poop in front of her. Or that when she's pooping, you go into the bathroom and say, I need to pee.

And she makes a little bit of room for you to pee while she's pooping. No, nothing like that. None of that. Oh, okay. I'm not mad. I sound madder than I am. I like though that you do a, like it's like a workout. Oh yeah. You got this. You got this. Finish strong. Sometimes I'll say everyone's counting on you. Oh yes. Okay. This is good. That's very comforting to me because I do it as well. I don't like having to pee when people are waiting or I feel like they're watching me. I could do it fine if there's somebody next to me and they've got their own business going on. unless I like really talk myself into it.

And I have to know what's coming after this. Like what, what part of my day is exciting enough that like my bladder would be like, Oh, that's fun. And like, what is like, okay. And release.

Uh, and a lot of times I just make it up because my days aren't so good. So I will do things like a really common one that comes up in my mind is like, okay, so I'm going to pee and then I'm going to go fight crime. And I just say that in my head, I'm going to pee and then I'm going to go fight crime. I just say that in my head. I'm going to pee and then I'm going to go fight crime.

It works. It makes me pee. Do you then have to fight crime? No. I know you're a liar. I lie to myself all the time. My guts don't know the difference. difference. Um, or like if that one doesn't work, like if there's a lot of people around,

there's no music in that restroom, then I will convince myself I'm about to go sit down and watch a movie that like not a movie I'm super excited to see. It would just be like, like a TNT showing of diehard or something. There's something very comforting in my mind about just like sitting down to a movie I don't totally care about. And it just relaxes me enough that I will go. Huh. But I didn't know if that was the only one. I didn't know if this was a universal experience or not. Or if people.

No. Go ahead. I think it's universal. I think a key difference between us is that I do sometimes lose this. That's that. Like very sincerely, whether it's, like, at a urinal and there's someone next to me so I can't finish my business,

or it's the thing you're saying where it's like, I'm with a group of friends somewhere. I said, excuse me, I'm going to go run to the bathroom, and I'm not making anything happen. I start to think in my brain, it's like, oh, no,

this is too long for me to have been in here and not done anything. At that point, you're lost. You can't come back from that. So I just have to – I'll just go some other time when things are different. I don't know. Yeah.

I lost this one. No, I've been there too. I lose them all the time. There's ones where I'm like, it's just not going to happen. I just have to hold on to this a little bit longer. There have been times where I've been at bars where the bathroom is so impossibly crowded that I will try to go there. It's not working. I just pretend that I went and then I'll just go outside somewhere and be like, well, I'm going to find an alley or something and I will go pee there.

I think that's better. I think that's honestly brave. Thanks, man. I think that's better. I think that's honestly brave. Thanks, man. I really thought this was going to be like a, what are you nostalgic to get back to after quarantine? Because you started with the word nostalgia and going to bars and to club. Well, it's just thinking back to a time

when I would do that kind of thing. How nice it was that that was what I was worried about. I feel like things are going to change when I get back into the real world i won't even have these little problems anymore because i'd be like it could be so much worse uh i had a quick question for you are we still doing the show yeah i think so yeah we got plenty of time um honest honest question having a second baby during the quarantine, make it easier or make it harder? It's really hard and not because of her. It's crazy. I'll say this while knocking on wood.

She doesn't know how to cry yet and we're not going to teach her. The most she does is she kind of fusses a little but there's no genuine sobs or cries and i don't mean like tears because they don't produce tears this early but generally a baby like they can really they have that like kind of like ear splitting little cry that they do and she has not done it once yet even when you're she's genuinely uncomfortable like her umbilical stump uh there's like that scab that sits on there. It got caught in some clothing at one point. We didn't know it had happened. And it tore out a little bit.

And she was genuinely uncomfortable and just did like these kind of like fussy little noises. And we're like, maybe she's hungry. And then later found that blood in her shirt. But she's like the perfect baby if my son was going to school during this time and we were just on paternity or maternity leave this would be like honestly it would be like a vacation and i know a lot of parents we're like fuck you because it's not usually like that it wasn't like that with our first but something about the second child a lot of times they're just a little bit calmer um but so having him the home though, is what makes it really tough with a baby

because he wants some more attention, and he's really aware of what he wants. It's not like he doesn't quite get it and he's just feeling very restless. He will say, Dad, I want you to pay attention to me right now. Okay, all right. Let me put this thing down. Hold on. Well, that sounds pretty tough um it's it's hard you just it's a big juggling act because we was also i'm working too um i'm not really taking paternity i'm like doing records for my episode and it's uh it's really hard to get

it all done and then you're up all night because a baby's got to feed every two and a half hours. You also miss out on the, I know you said that Colleen's parents were making the drive up there, but you miss out on like the village showing up when you have a baby. The people, everyone wants to stop by and meet it with enough time in between

so you're not throwing a party or anything like that. And people want to bring food and bring presents. And for a while, you have another adult to hold the baby for a while. And you're missing out on all that right now too. Yeah, I guess that's where it really is. We had our parents come for a little while, but that didn't last very long. I mean, they came out, they helped out, and they were crucial, like crucial to helping us get on our feet. But after that, yeah, you can't have other people come by. You can't, you can't just have

like people drop by and watch one over the other for you. It's like, it's all on you and you're, you're in the house. If you can't really go anywhere with a baby right now, you can't put a mask on a baby. So you're there. You're just stuck. Man. Anyway, it's not. Well, congratulations again. Thank you. Thank you. It's not so bad.

This was a weird episode. I think it's a good one, man. I think every time that we really open up, I think those are our very best episodes. Okay. The ones where we just like shoot the shit they're fine man they're fine filler but

where people learn more about us and we open our hearts a little bit I feel like those are the ones that those are the ones that are going to go to the Library of Congress okay but you know being mysterious is so important to me right I do you shut the door after you have sex and you have pee.

Sometimes I'll shut the door during sex. Cause it just gets too intimate. I'm like, get out of here. Um, I have another question for you, Dan. Okay.

I have a question for you also about, uh, the time that was, um, we're going to end up going back into society at some point, I hope. Then things will go back to how they were. And I feel like since we're hitting a reset button

anyway on social gatherings, are there things, especially at parties, like party formalities that you think we should just kill, that we don't need to deal with anymore? Do you understand what I'm saying? When I say that I can give you my example if you want. Yeah, you go first. Okay.

There's a thing that happens at any party you go to where someone has prepared food, where you get there, they're in the last few minutes of like putting on the finishing touches. And there's a group of people, they're all in the living room, let's say. And then the host will come out and say, okay, it's time to eat. And everyone just freezes. Nobody does a fucking thing because nobody wants to be the first person to go eat. There's like a weird stigma against being that first person. After the dinner, you're driving home with your significant other being like, can you believe Jerry went first? Like nobody gives a shit in the end.

No, you've never judged anyone for that ever. No. And no one's ever been judged for it. Even if the host went first, I would be like, thank God that everybody's just waiting for somebody to go first. And it's this weird pageantry that we do. And it takes another, the food's ready. The food's been ready for like seven minutes before the first person is like, oh, right. And they make a big show of like having to be first. Right. I want that gone. I want to never have to think about that again. Yeah. That annoys me as someone who I don't like host dinner parties, but I try to make a nice hot appetizer whenever I go to a party with friends as part of my contribution to it. And I hate as the person who makes it,

me like, all right, the bacon-wrapped potato bites are in the kitchen, they're done. Yeah. And then see no one move. And I want to be like, excuse me, the bacon-wrapped potato bites that I made that kept me in the kitchen away from all of you this whole time and are the reason that I'm sweating now,

they're done. I think what I'm going to do as a host from now on is as soon as I make something, I'm going to come out and be like, the food is done. Let's see, Daniel, pick up a plate here first. I'll pick like the first three people and be like you, then you, then you, like I'm at a wedding and I'm choosing tables to go up to the buffet. And then after that, I feel like it just jumpstarts it and everybody'd be fine. buffet. And then after that, I feel like it just jumpstarts it and everybody would be fine. Yeah, I like that. I think my party etiquette that I would like to lose and any of my friends who are listening to this already know what's coming and don't even know why I would want to make it an officially acceptable thing to do. I've Irish exited out of 98 of every party i've ever been to or anyone who doesn't know or

are from somewhere where regionally this means something different it's when you leave a party without saying goodbye to anyone you just disappear when it's time for you to go um i've almost always done it i've taken some shit for it um if it's a party with like one person i know and mostly strangers then i will say goodbye to the main person I know. I wouldn't leave a buddy behind. And I'll usually say goodbye to a host. But that's about it. For me, in the past, it's been either a well I'm tired or an anxiety thing

where it's like I need to go right now and most importantly is I need like the feeling of freedom that I can go right now I can leave whenever I want and I don't have to say anything to anyone and run the risk of someone being like oh wait no hold on

wait for me we'll share a car or not that I care about sharing cars but like now I have on wait for me we'll share a car or or not that i i care about sharing cars like now i have to wait for this person to say their goodbyes yeah and like when i when i want to go i want to go and i you know i made those potato things so like shut up fuck you i contributed to this party i've earned the right to leave i think once once the quarantine i think when we're allowed to see people again all of the um hitherto undiagnosed anxiety new anxieties that will all develop i think that will be a more it'll be a more appealing idea then to leave whenever you want you know i think they're i didn't i'm not sure i phrased that well but there are people who might not realize it now, but once they get out of this, are not completely equipped to jump right back into socializing the way that they used to.

That's certainly something that I'm prepared for, and I think it might surprise a lot of people. You were saying earlier that you watch a movie, and the characters on TV are standing too close to each other, and it makes you knee-jerk anxious. I think it's not a switch that we're all going to flip off and be like, okay, I'm comfortable with parties now, you know, because we've done this work of 65 days or whatever it is of training your bodies for this new reality. And that's not going to just go away. I don't think. So I think we're going to see a rise in people who their body tells them quite suddenly it's time to go now. And, uh, I want them to be able to do that mostly so I can do that and not get a fucking text from my friend, Nick, the next day. I, when you said it, I

immediately laughed because it brought me back to a time when we had gone out drinking one night at work and everybody was very drunk. And then all of a sudden you ran away so fast that you fell and broke your glasses. Maybe your phone too. I mean, you lost your glasses and broke your phone. I can't remember how it went, but it wasn't like you just dashed out. You literally dashed out. You ran out of the place and ran down the street so fast that your legs couldn't keep up with you and you fell. Yeah. So the reason you remember the details of glasses and phone is because I did drop and break my glasses and my phone. I was on my phone talking to someone,

tripped like an idiot, dropped my phone, broke my glasses. And the person I was talking to on the other hand, end of the phone heard a stranger say, Oh shit. Yeah. I've seen you disappear from a lot of parties. I guess I haven't seen you. I've felt your presence disappear from a lot of parties and be like, Oh,

it's fine. It's just what he does. Also there's, then you don't have to deal with the possibility of having to hug people. Yes. Winds all around. Another one that I would really like to get rid of

is showing up to a party. I know that I have to, it's my job to bring something. So generally, if it's a party where there's not food, I bring some alcohol of some sort. I have to find that host and make sure they see that I brought this thing before I'm going to go put it in the fridge. I'm not just going to show up, immediately go to the kitchen, put it all in the fridge, and then walk into the party. It's very important to me that the host knows, ah, he participated in the normal

social etiquette. Perfect. Right. I have to walk in with a case of beer and walk by a fridge and pretend i'm an idiot and go hey where's where's this go hey hey host where's a got a spot for this oh fridge oh oh yeah sure okay right there yeah okay yeah yeah um you want one because i can open it up right now uh yeah i i don't know what it is about me like i can't i would be oh what a waste it's like when you go to a restaurant and they turn around right when you put tips a tip in the tip jar and you're like oh yeah fuck i did tip you that one is new that five you see that's new yeah i wonder if i don't host enough parties i wonder if people people keep track of who doesn't bring things. No. Or if that's in my head. I think nobody does. I certainly don't. We've had parties

and I don't give a shit. I'll just suddenly notice there's new stuff. Or when they show up, I'm not looking at their hands. I'm looking at my friends. I can't imagine there's anybody at the end of the night who's accounting for, wait a second. We had 12 people here, but only 10 brought alcohol. What the fuck? I think I would start to notice if it was the same person over and over again. And if it was like a particularly egregious, like showing up empty handed.

Yeah. And then being like, oh, what's this? What is this? Scotch? This looks good. This looks fancy. Or like gets one of the higher end beers out of the fridge i don't know like if one person was doing that i mean like all right you're on my on my my radar now i do have a friend and i won't name him on this podcast but when he goes to weddings he doesn't bring a wedding gift because

he thinks that him coming to the wedding is gift enough. And that's so bold. That's the most bonkers take I've ever heard. Yeah. That he got together, got himself together, got a suit for the wedding that he, even if he's not in the wedding and that he bought the plane ticket, whatever it was that he showed up. That's the gift. He, what does he think all those wrapped things on the gift table are? Oh, he knows.

He knows. He just thinks he's the only one who's figured out this? Bucking the trend. Yeah. I think that he thinks very highly of his presence, I assume, and assumes that's enough. Like, wow, I can't believe you got him. He came to your wedding? Incredible. Would you say that he makes weddings better? It's a wash. I think, yeah, he's a fun guy. But, you know, there's a lot of people who are fun at weddings,

and they also brought a Cuisinart. Right. Did he go to your wedding? Yeah. Oh, I'm going to find out. Oh yeah oh i'm gonna find out oh i'm gonna find out gosh i hope it wasn't me it's you it's such an awful move i can't believe you do it um now i'll tell you afterwards yeah uh well dan i'm i'm going to uh find the social account so that we can wrap

up this show i should just have them open on a tab but i don't i gotta dig them up anyway uh i do want to ask you about something um i don't know if a lot of people know this but you famously told a teenage girl that you wanted to hook up with that you wrote the lyrics to brick to try and impress her what's some other ip you've stolen to get where you are now um the same girl i tried to do a very similar trick but i evolved it a little bit where i'd taken a popular song's music and then I'd written new lyrics over it. And I told her that I wrote the whole thing. And it was some emotional song about being sad and 14

to the tune of You Get What You Give by the New Radicals. Like an impossibly popular song that i was like hey i i i wrote this however that song starts incredible incredible okay thank you daniel uh on twitter that's helpful for everyone who doesn't because we we were pretty loose uh about what's real and what's fake and these end things. That pretending to write Rick to impress the girls,

that's canon. That's a real thing that I did. Yeah. Fun thing. An underage girl, Dan. All right. I'm not going to reveal the fact that you are also a child.

On Twitter, you can follow Daniel at DOB underscore Inc. You can follow Soren. That's me at Soren underscore LTD. If you want to find out about Michael, find out what's going on with him. Good luck. You can find him at Make Me Bacon Please with PLS. Or you can follow Quick Question at QQ underscore Soren and Dan. Or you can tweet it, Quick Question.

I think Michael does a lot of work with that Twitter account. I assume. You can also email us at QQ with Soren and Daniel at gmail.com and you can follow, find, hire our producer, sound engineer and editor Gabe at Gabe harder.com. Go ahead and fire up the old GabeHarder.com in the browser.

Yeah, let's see how it comes up. Let's see how the site is. Hey, ready? Something really cool is coming soon. All right. Still. Okay. Oh, Gabe.

Ellipses. Yeah, I'm trying to build anticipation on that website. Definitely something that people love doing is going back to a website after it's proven to be nothing. I'm always checking in on websites that prove to be dead ends in the past just like i have my my running list i check like the websites that i know work and then i was like now let's see if if this is updated in six months still no oof gonna be good though see you tomorrow it just does just gabe is a coiling spring that we're all we're gonna see release any second now gabe i like i like this strategy um that's all i have yeah all right bye