Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 54 - Sam Neill, Hunkosaurs Rex

Episode Date: August 28, 2020

In this episode we all simultaneously realize why people of our age instinctively love blue shirts with khakis and a nice red bandanna.  And also Soren hurts Daniel's feelings, and in turn Daniel compliments Soren! As always, big thanks to GigaPoints. To see how much you could be earning on your credit card each year, go to GigaPoints.com/QQ  

Hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, a podcast that spends so much time navel-gazing that it might as well be called Belly Button with the fellow buddies. I am one half of this podcast, writer, comedian, historian, and guy who once asked a girl out on a date and when she said yes, he assumed she was just being nice so he never followed up. Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bui. Soren, say hello. Hey, I'm Soren Bui, creator of life, obviously. God damn it.

Immediately, immediately, your energy is low. I jump in here so, so excited. Uh-huh. And you take a pause and you're like, hey, everybody, it's Soren.aring yeah that's called dynamics dan that's like you juxtapose you mix the salty and the sweet together you don't want

it to be too sweets you hurt your teeth no i i guess i i don't want it to be too sweets but i feel like it's been sweet and salty for so long and i've carried the sweet load and it's exhausting it's exhausting being the sweet so let's i'm gonna try this again okay uh here we go starting over clap here we go hey hello again and welcome to yeah another episode of quick question with soren and daniel a podcast that spends so much time navel gazing that it it might as well be called belly button with the fellow buddies i'm just one half of this podcast writer comedian historian and guy who once asked a girl out on a date and when she said yes he assumed she was just being nice so you never followed up daniel o'brien i'm joined as always by my co-host

mr soren buoy soren say hello hey everybody i'm soren buoy uh you may remember me from a couple different jobs i had i worked at cracked at one point i also did dvd quality control um you maybe didn't know but when you watched wedding crashers that, my friend. I made sure that that DVD worked flawlessly. There was a lot of problems with some of the BTS. That's behind the scenes for us and the BTS. And it works better now just because of me. I'm also a fort architect for my kid. You can call me that.

He doesn't because he doesn't know what architect means yet, but you understand what I'm saying. I also, well, I killed a chipmunk once when i was young so um not over that i mean that's not where i thought this was going to go yeah but uh uh just to state the obvious broadly it's much more fun being you than it is being me i really enjoy that brief foray into into into like being comfortable all right well here's the deal when we when we used to do this podcast at the very early stages we would record very very late at night for daniel

and there were times where i thought you might be falling asleep during the podcast. And so you could listen to it. And there are times where like, as you're telling a story, it's just these big pauses like that. And so I'm sitting there thinking, oh, the energy's, he's got that role for this one. And so it would just be me jumping in to like talk at a million miles an hour to be like, ah, this is how I will change the dynamic. So I don't know. I don't want to say I'm owed, but I'm going to take it. Okay, fine.

Thanks to GigaPoints for supporting Quick Question. GigaPoints is a site that helps you find the best credit card. GigaPoints uses data to pinpoint the cards that will give you the most points based on your actual spending. See how much you could earn at gigapoints.com slash QQ. But let's get into this podcast where we ask each other questions and give each other answers. where we ask each other questions and give each other answers. We like to start these days by dipping into how each other are doing in the quarantine. So, Soren, do you have any updates for me on that front?

No. No, nothing new. Are you still doing an impression of me from the past? Going, long pause, no. Here's what I really want to talk about. Whatever I'm doing is kind of bullshit compared to the fact that somebody I know was nominated again for an Emmy. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Oh me.

You're talking about me. I'm talking about you, Daniel. Congratulations on another nomination. Thank you very much. It's like a lot of things that have happened in the quarantine. It's like, it's nice with an asterisk. Yeah.

Like, of course we appreciate being nominated uh but obviously there's not going to be like an emmys ceremony out in los angeles like the creative arts emmys they just announced are going to be stretched across four or five days in september and, uh, like we just, this, the, these are such, such champagne problems to have, uh, but like a life highlight. I was like the first son in my family to fly first class. And I got to fly my mom first class. Because that's when you're in the Writers Guild and you're nominated for an Emmy, that's standard.

You have to fly first class. So it was going to the Emmys last year, flying first class in a very nice seat and watching movies and drinking free champagne on the plane and then staying in a nice hotel. It was so unfathomably cool. And that's not the reason that I write. It's not the reason that I worked for last week tonight. But it was a very fine perk. reason that I write. It's not the reason that I worked for last week tonight, but it was a very fine perk. And we don't have that anymore, which is again, a champagne problem. Uh, but we got like the email today from our rep at HBO. It was like, congratulations on your Emmy nomination, you're going to watch the ceremony when?

September whatever at 5 p.m. Pacific time, 8 p.m. Eastern time. Where? At Emmys.com. Ooh. And I was like, that's a far cry from getting on a nice plane in first class and going to a nice hotel and wearing a tuxedo with my mom. Yeah, there was such an event before you got there. I don't know what that's going to look like.

It really was. And now it's like, I guess I'm going to sit in my apartment, which has been my home and office since March 15th. And I guess watch the Emmmys on emmys.com on a tuesday night like it's again i i feel weird complaining about it but it doesn't if you had dreams of going to yeah if you if you if you spend life if you spend your life working towards a place where you get to go to the Emmys and then this happens, it's a bummer. I think that that's a legitimate complaint, Dan. A bummer is fine. The whole point of an award ceremony is that it's the ceremony.

The pageantry of it is what's fun and cool and the reason that people do it. You get to buy a tuxedo. Writing for the show, as much as I love this show and I love my job, it's not day-to-day. It doesn't look very glamorous. Today, for example, I woke up at 5.30 in the morning because I had a 9 a.m deadline and I wanted to to do some last minute tweaks on a draft that I was on and that's not that's not a glamorous thing

to to to to say or to do the glamorous stuff is like the one weekend a year where we get to fly in a nice plane go to a nice hotel and be around other famous people you know right no it was that was the surreal thing i remember you came i remember going to your hotel then maybe the night after the two nights after and the monday after yeah and then there was like you had something written about the emmys in fondant like a congratulations on your table when you walked in it was all in chocolate and fondant and i ate that immediately and then walked down to the pool and there's like famous people in the pool and it was the that's the cool

part of the experience like that's we had a job once where we would occasionally go somewhere that they were gonna be we go to like just for laughs and that was the best part of that job at cracked was you go stay in a hotel with every comedian in the north america and it was so cool right and like right because writing is not an immediately glamorous job but you get these things one day a year or or twice a year where it's like oh this is this is fun i get i get to pretend to be a big shot for a little bit and that's nice right it's the first time you actually also sort of get any sort of grasp on the idea of how big the audience is. You can say a number and it doesn't mean anything. You can you've watched on television and you feel like one of those 4 million people who have watched them then you're like okay yeah that's me too like i'm i'm a giant i get to be a giant to this weekend do you get to so so you work for american

dad and i know that you have like staff outings, staff like gatherings that are very fun. But do you do conventions at all? Or do you do anything with your peers at all? Yeah, you do. There's a, they go, I don't, I'm not. I would like you to speak on it. They go to Comic-Con. Some of the higher ups and also our showrunner will go to comic-con and

they'll always do something there and uh usually it's just a panel and then maybe they show something i don't i don't totally know and then there's like a q a and sometimes seth shows up um but other than that there aren't it's not i not doing it. I'm not going out into the world as the American dad with the American dad group, except for maybe once a year when we go on a, a trip together. And that's usually pretty subdued. It's not like we're not out there. Be an American dad. We're just a group of people together. Do you miss being a public facing person working for a show? I don't, I don't at all.

Would you, would you, you, okay. You, you don't want to go to Comic-Con or Kamikaze or any of those things and be like, I am one of the writers. You don't, you don't want that. No. I, so I thought I would, um, because I loved it so much. It cracked. I liked the performative nature of it. I liked the way that we all had good chemistry together when we were on stage together. And I, I,

you know, for the reasons you would think you would like it, it's nice to walk around and be recognized. You feel like a, so then you could be a celebrity and that's nice. But I don't miss it one bit. I don't miss going to those things. I miss you guys.

I miss doing like those things with you and having miss going to those things like uh i miss you guys i miss doing like those things with you and having fun uh going to restaurants and that in some new town and all that but um i don't i don't miss being a public facing figure at all do you i don't either yeah no absolutely not 100 now it's there% no. I'm certain I've talked about this before. There is nothing cooler than being recognized out in the wild by a fan, sounds grandiose, but appreciator of your work. fan sounds grandiose, but appreciator of your work. Um, there's nothing greater than being recognized by one of those people in front of your parents or in front of your friends where, where, especially because what we were doing was, was writing on the, on the internet in 2008, where no one really knew exactly what our jobs were or if they were uh viable careers or not so like being at a tgi fridays and getting recognized by a waiter in front of my parents

was like this is this is it this is the dream yeah like this waiter thinks i'm a big shot in front of my parents or like walking down the street with a friend of mine or on a date. And someone was like, Hey, are you that guy from, from crash? Can I get a picture? I was like, I feel like fucking Tom Cruise right now. I feel like the, the biggest star on the goddamn planet, um, that wears off after about three times. Yeah. Like you get recognized in front of your parents,

you get recognized in front of some of your friends, and then it's like, okay, now I'm just trying to live my life at this point. And the fact that my career has taken a turn where I'm much less on camera and much less public facing than I was before is a, a huge benefit to me. Yeah, I agree. There was also, it was, those circumstances were always ended up being very strange too.

Like it's hard to, cause you don't want to, that person has an idea of who you are in their head. You don't want to be anything other than that to them. So you're, you're not totally being yourself. They're not being themselves cause they're nervous. And so it's just two people like not being themselves, talking to each other. And there was also those circumstances where someone would say, Hey, can I get a photo? You might take a photo. And as soon as that happens in a public area, everybody else looks and they're like, okay, a stranger is taking a picture with another stranger. That one must be

famous. And then then you you see other people looking at you and like whispering you're like oh no sir you are in for a big disappointment right they're like who is that guy and i'm like oh i'm i'm i'm uh i'm known to a very specific pocket of the internet you don't you don't you don't need to don't like take any notes about me i'm not gonna matter there are some kids in high school at a very specific time and I appeal to them and that's it. But yeah, I, I thought it would be something that I, when I got my new job and again, I'm not going to complain about it cause I love my job. When I first got it, I was like, man, it would be so nice to still have that. And I haven't missed it one bit. I haven't missed it at all.

Yeah. I think we, so I got to guest in a live episode of the Daily Zeitgeist hosted by Miles Gray and Jack something. And we did a show in Brooklyn where I had to go out and there was a very nice crowd that clapped. And it still feels good to be in front of a crowd that claps for you. But I also really appreciated the fact that I could leave shortly thereafter and disappear again.

But we should do a live podcast at some point. I mean, how? How on earth is that ever gonna work in this world i mean in in 2022 or something okay yeah we absolutely should i would love to do that um that'll just be one of those things i put on my list of like oh i would like to do that again someday yeah but i don't want to think too hard about it because then it'll just make me sad. Dan, I have a quick question for you. That is cracked. Oh, you do? Okay. Yeah. Oh, all right. Yeah. When we were at Cracked, you know, like at any job, the people that you work with, some of them,

they become like really good friends to you, I would say. I would say most of us at Cracked became really, really great friends. But, you know, you're still like you bust each other's chops or you have something about, there's like some aspect of somebody's character that you kind of talk about with everybody else. And everybody knows that they're, that that's like their thing. But you wouldn't bring it up in front of them. It's not really polite. We've got a mutual friend who's just kind of like full of shit like he'll talk on subjects that he doesn't know anything about and everybody knows that he does it but nobody's

going to address it with him no one's going to be like hey man you you do this a lot uh because we it's not necessary no of course everybody's like let's call him right we can call him cameron and be like did you hear what cameron said he said xyz and he's like yeah but it's a camera effect right so take it with a grain of salt anything cameron says right he's probably bullshit go look it up instead yeah um we have like michael has his strange allergy to computers or i guess they have an allergy to him i assume because they break his weird fundamental ways. I thought it might be fun for us to try to guess what the other person's was. I mean, sorry, try and guess what our own was.

So, like, I would guess from you what the thing was people would say about me when I wasn't around. Yeah. When you're not around, what do we complain about you? Yeah. Yeah. What's your, to borrow a term from New Girl that I'm mentioning again on this podcast, HOGO, which is the thing that everyone, it's the shorthand for the thing that everyone is the shorthand for the thing that everyone in the loft complains about for everyone else in the loft when they're not there.

Yeah, exactly. That's a way better way of putting it. So, yeah, I wanted, I wanted. And it's named, it's named Pogo because the character Winston, I guess it's implied he accidentally penetrates everyone when he's wearing boxers. It's a very strange thing on the show. Like the way it comes up in season two is Cece is staying at the loft for a while and she bumps into Winston and gets pogo'd by him which is what they say

and then everyone else is like oh yeah we've all been pogo'd by Winston so I'm assuming that means his dick's flopping around inserting itself places it's not supposed to be that's rough

man that's a real storyline yeah okay well well let's not call it that and then everyone else is like everyone else is like what's my pogo what's my thing that you guys all talk about yeah i thought yeah so i want to do that but i want you to guess what yours was do you want to guess what mine is yeah i have so many things i'm bad at yeah but like what do you think the most of them you know nobody else knows about you're good at keeping those things to yourself where you're like okay this is my crutch and no one else can know or like this is my secret shame what is the thing that there's no way like you wear it out on your sleeve and everybody everybody must know about it here's the thing I'm, I'm so bad at so many things that there's, there's, there's a lot of options.

I guess I shouldn't say something that you're bad at. I feel, I feel forced to talk about the things that I'm most self-conscious about. That's what I want from this, Daniel. Okay, good. Yeah. I think everyone in my life has been incredibly polite about the fact that almost everything that I say comes with a table of contents, most of which have subheadings under it. Like sometimes I hear myself talk on this very podcast, and you'll ask a question and I'll be like,

I have three things to say about that. The first thing, subheading A, this thing about it. Second subheading B, this thing about it. So that's the first thing. So now two, the second thing with its own subheadings. And then three, these final subheadings about this thing. Like I have never, I feel like I never start a sentence without I feel like I never start a sentence without several caveats on top of it, prepping you for what I'm going to say, because I like the generous reading of what I do is taking up as much space as possible with my words and being very controlling.

Is any of that right? If none of this is right, I'm none of it. Oh no. Yeah. This is worse. It's worse. It's so much worse that i'm wrong do you want me to tell you what it was i mean only if it's that i'm too handsome that seems unlikely

by the way that wasn't directly going to be my guess. It was going to be that he's lucky he's pretty. That's what people would say behind my back. We're like, he's not that funny. His deliveries aren't particularly great. Like he's not a particularly good actor in these shorts and stuff. He's very lucky that he's handsome. But let me get back to you.

Okay, go ahead. Daniel, I think you must know this. You, I think everybody around the video department thought that you couldn't do your job unless you felt stressed. Like a lot of the stress that you feel was stuff that you put on yourself that you didn't necessarily need to do. Does that ring true to you at all? It does. I just thought it was a secret. I think that a lot of people, they would, I don't know if they would, I don't think anyone ever was like, that's a Daniel problem,

but like stuff that you didn't, that would ultimately probably be inconsequential, but like you dedicated yourself to it. You're going to see it all the way through or give it 110%. And everybody's like, but fucking why? It's so pointless. And so that's why when we would go places to Beloit, Wisconsin or something like that, you became the dad of the group because that's something that's a very, very dad thing to do.

It was like, we're going to do a dry run to the airport the night before we go that, that kind of energy. You never did that obviously, but dad O'Brien. So, so for listeners, here's, okay, stop it. Here's the thing. Dad O'Brien was, anytime that we as a company took a trip somewhere,

I, and this is, I don't even want to say it was just company. It was also when we did it as friends, I would create itineraries that let everyone know where they were supposed to be when they needed to be there, whether it was getting cabs to the airport or what their flights were or what their hotel accommodations were. Or one time when I took a cruise with several coworkers, I printed out a very long itinerary for all of what we were doing, including the excursions that we were doing. And that was who Dad O'Brien was,

was the person who was making sure everyone knew where to be at what time. And I don't, in my memory, people enjoyed that. Yes. Let me tell you. So that in itself is a really nice thing. It's wonderful to have, every group needs somebody who does that shit. They need like that Leonardo who's like, duty before self, everybody. i'll be the one who does this thing the thing that people would talk about was how embittered you felt when anybody fell off that i like when people like didn't didn't give it its proper due they were like oh what are we

doing next it's on the itinerary like that's a very damn thing. Such a fair criticism. It's as red as my face is for embarrassment. It feels very nice to be seen. Good. I'm glad uh yeah i still think i i i still think i'm i'm right like yeah of course you are i mean yeah but it meant what would you fucking knuckleheads do without me yeah that was the thing is on every trip it seemed like you were not having any fun because no of course not you were you were that you had all these ducklings you had to take care of along the way the only trips that you would seem to have fun on was when you and

i would go to the webbies and it was just us yeah i don't need to to give you an itinerary you know what you're doing yeah you're drinking with me we did have a really good system worked out there though, which was, it was tacit. And it was, listen, the first night, if whoever starts to get drunk, that person's allowed to get very, very drunk that night. And the other person will sort of shepherd them. And then the next night is the other person's turn. Yeah. That's, that's very funny. That's very illuminating.

That's very funny. That's very illuminating. Did you know that with the right credit card, you could be earning hundreds or even thousands of dollars in rewards every year? GigaPoints is a site that matches you with the best cards for the way you actually spend. So you can score cash back, free travel and more. It's easy to use. No answering a bunch of questions or doing a lot of research. You simply create an account and receive your recommendations in a few minutes. The GigaPoints algorithm does the work for you. Best of all, GigaPoints never sees any of your login details or credit card numbers, so you don't have to worry about that information getting out. They use the same tools, Venmo,

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on your credit card each year, go to gigapoints.com slash QQ. That's G-I-G-A points.com slash QQ. You know, have you ever had anything that you learned about yourself? This probably happens more frequently with you and your wife because you've known each other for so long. Have you ever had something come up where you learned about yourself and then just decided i'm not going to take any action to correct that i'd say for like the last decade everything i've learned about myself that's certainly what i'm doing now it's like okay i understand how that

can rub people the wrong way but i'm weighing the pros and cons of how i would feel like mental health wise, if I was, if I decided to cede control of being in charge of things to just being like Island Daniel all the time. Nope, that's going to be worse. I don't want that. So a good note, not going to change, but thank you for your interest. I'm going to say, I will take the note. Then I'll come back and say, tried it. Doesn't really work in the story. And then we're not going to do it.

I'll try to do better, but like, ultimately I'm serving the greater good here. Well, at a certain age, you start to think that it's not a, you're not just like this blank slate that like, you can alter whatever you want on it. You're like, I think that it's not a you're not just like this blank slate that like you can alter whatever you want on it you're like i think that's just in my personality that's just who i am oh well i'm just gonna keep it i guess right if i end up uh dating and getting close to marrying someone who was like you know you like to try to be like the dad of all vacations i'd be like yeah you know i know that because that's all i got that's my speed so if you're not into that you gotta let me know now you you it's like a ross energy does that make sense does that stand for you no but it also from... Ross from Friends? No, Soren!

Oh, no. It means that you're the moral center as well, which should be a compliment. Nobody fucks Ross. I mean, Rachel. And almost Monica that one time. Oh, no. And Phoebe's twin time. Oh no.

And Phoebe's twin sister. Yeah. Ursula maybe? Yeah. And the girl at the copy shop, but they were on a break. The thing is though, it's not, it doesn't make you, it doesn't make you bad to be around. Like that's a quality where it just seems like you're grumpy on those trips or in those circumstances where like people aren't giving you the credit

that you clearly deserve for making sure that they're alive and making sure that they're getting through their day in the way that they're supposed to. You're still a very fun, charming person even in those circumstances to be absolutely clear yeah to be 1000 clear no one thanked me did i never thank you you probably did but you don't count because we're close like that. But when we, the dream when we finish a trip like going to Calgary, which by the way is in a different country altogether,

and I put it in a nice file for everyone to follow, the dream is that people will say, hey, by the way, Daniel, thank you. Right. And that didn't happen. That's a travesty. Yeah. No, it's not. Shut up. Don't be nice to me. No, you know what? So I, I, so I was in a, a sketch group a while ago, um, with a guy that I currently work with. It basically got me my job. But, uh, Dan Campana, who did the art for our podcast, he was in that group. And he had that role a lot of the time.

He was like, he took it on himself to just like schedule and coordinate when our shows were, talk to the theater. And he was really good at it. And we needed that. And I don't think he was getting any credit for that. I certainly wasn't giving him any. And then there was like a time where he was in Iowa or whatever. And I took on that role. And I fucking hated everyone in my group. I hated them all because when you, when that's your responsibility, everybody else just seems like children around you

and like, they're not helping at all. If everybody just like decided I'm going to pull, Oh, do you need any help? Oh, I'll pull my weight with this. Like it'd be so much easier and everything would go so much smoother, but I was just pissy and mean the whole time because I was so, I begrudged every single one of them for wanting to play FIFA until we were already 10 minutes late for the show going and not having, not having like rehearsed at all, forgetting props. And I was like, what the fuck? I'm not your parent. Yeah. And I also like as much as I've been on my side this entire time, I do think the grand bummer of the whole thing is that you don't actually need me to do that. And my hope when I was arranging every trip that we'd ever gone on at Cracked and making sure that everyone had somewhere to sleep and an understanding of how they're going to get from A to B to C and have a per diem so they can eat. My dream was that if I wasn't there, everyone would lament my absence.

But the truth of the matter is, you know, they'd figure it out. We're all adults. We'd all figure it out. Yeah. That's the real bummer of it. But you know how I like to be governed. I want directions and I want someone shepherding me anywhere that I go in life. And so I can just tell, I will say from the bottom of my heart, Daniel, thank you for doing that. You're welcome. None of it mattered.

So I want to guess mine now. Okay. I have two guesses at what it could be. One is the one I already told you, which is. One is the one I already told you, which is early on. I want to let you know that, uh, it won't be as personally devastating for you as this has been for me. All right. Um, my, my first guess, obviously, I'm going to walk for like, it's while we're recording, it's 8.48 p.m. I'm going to go on a five-mile walk as soon as this is over. I'm going to go to fucking Central Park and see if someone wants to fight me because I'm feeling hyped up and violent. The worst part of it all is that you and I were pretty close at Cracked

to the point where we weren't in the other bubbles as much as we could. There's all kinds of shit we don't even know about each other that the rest of the team was talking about which is like way way worse um all right I so obviously I'm the first one I would think is that it would be, uh, he's lucky. He's pretty. Then anytime that we were, uh, on set and I would, uh, fuck up a take because I just didn't know my line or that, uh, it was just clear that like the weakest talent in the room was Soren.

I was like, I know what this is. This is a, he's lucky he's pretty moment. Is that, is that true at all? No, it's so far removed from that. If anything, like, I don't think we, and you mentioned that, here I go with caveats. Fuck. You mentioned that you and I are removed from many of the bubbles. So it's possible that people were saying things about you that they weren't sharing with me. thing that people were saying behind your back was uh it all stemmed from jealousy of of like oh fuck he's good at comedy and handsome that sucks i hate that like uh a lot of us i think

we're drawn to cracked based on uh a lifetime of of focusing our pursuits on comedy and writing, which are both indoor pursuits. And in high school, in most high schools, that's a very binary thing where it's like, I'm going to be an indoor kid who, who writes and studies comedies and maybe does theater. And there are the outdoor kids who are good at sports. And, uh, to stretch that a bit further, being good at being handsome and you, you, if you're, if you were a person like me or a person like a lot of the people who came to Cracked and were like attracted to the idea of writing at Cracked, you didn't want to accept the idea that a person could be both handsome and confident and as well-versed in comedy and writing as you were. That was that like shattered your worldview. I started writing in,

in Los Angeles for, for crack and being like, Oh yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna pack this with a bunch of other fucking scrawny, weird nerds. And,

and because that's, that's, that's the best because you can only be a scrawny, weird nerd if you're good at writing. And then we all met you. I was like, well, but then what does this mean for my entire life? What does it mean that a person can be this good at writing and this good at acting and this good at comedy and also handsome and confident and comfortable. That was not the deal that I'd made with the universe.

So we were, we were all very upset about that. It was like everyone I think wanted the secret thing that made you a piece of shit and no one could find it. No one was like, Oh, by the way, he hates Asian people.

No, he doesn't. He's, you know, fine with them. I don't know. You weren't like outwardly racist or anything like that. All right. Well, listen, I wasn't fishing here. That's nicer than my wife's vows, what you just said to me. That's nicer than my wife's vows, what you just said to me. I wasn't fishing, but I will say that this compliment couch is comfy.

That was very nice, Daniel. Thank you. That's good. As you're saying it to me, I'm thinking, oh, they just didn't tell him because they thought he'd tell me what the things are. Oh, they just didn't tell him because they thought he'd tell me what the things are. So I think I realized one that I didn't like about myself after I left Cracked and went to a new job where that seemed like where I went to a group of people who had all been friends for a very long time. And I immediately was like, this is fun. I want to be part of this group and was like just too overeager and it turned everybody off i realized very quickly what kind of an asshole i was it cracked to people when they first started there that like

i would in front of you know like tom let's talk about like long tom great guy he joined tom ryman he joined crack late in the game he sat next to us and there'd be days where i was like i'm hungry daniel let's go get lunch and this guy's brand new to the city i didn't do shit for him like he that could have very easily been like tom come with us but in my mind i was also thinking no i got things i want to tell daniel i'm just going to go with him like what's the big deal and how you i didn it didn't ever occur to me, like how people would internalize that. And now that I'm at a new job and well, when I started this new job, I was like, oh shit, those poor, like poor Carmen, poor Tom, poor like David Bell when they started that I

would exclude them so publicly. I don't think any of them would have a bad word to say about you unless they were misinformed. Like I think about when you when I first moved to L.A. and first started working for Cracked and you were being nice to me like a human would do. I I remember thinking like, what does this fucking guy want what is what does this blonde jock want from me like i'm not i'm not gonna play his game i don't understand what what he's looking for uh but you were just a nice human being. That's very nice of you to say. Thank you. Yeah, this is a... No, go ahead.

This isn't what I wanted the game to be. I know. I want you to be like, you have a big fat head. How do you not know you have a big fat head? Like I wanted something like that. It's your fucking weird ankles idiot but no instead one of us is not gonna sleep tonight and it's me i'm gonna go home thinking like oh now i'm

all the things that i thought i did for other people to be selfless turned out to be an irritant and now i'll just think about that for the rest of my life. I think this time I was doing all of this selflessly for everyone else. And all it was doing was making me blind the whole time. I made a six page itinerary for a cruise to celebrate Michael's divorce. And people didn't like that. I think that they did. Who did they think I was doing it for?

I think they all do. I think that they're genuinely relieved to have somebody be in charge. Cause then they get to just fuck off and they don't have to think about anything, but it's just like this sacrifice. because then they get to just fuck off and they don't have to think about anything but you it's just like this sacrifice like you're just strapping this person to the rocks who's just gonna be furious the entire time it's a martyr complex for sure yeah but uh don't you deserve thank you and like yes i i don't i don't want to like to to boost my own pedigree or anything like that but don't you feel like

jesus was kind of underappreciated in his day too with all his rule making and his guidance he taught them to fish you know who said thank you simon peter nope surely thank you appears hard now obviously hard no bartholomew that drunk nope i wish i could just do a control f for the words thank you in the bible somewhere just maybe like barabbas when he didn't get put up on the cross and he got to go free. He might have been like, oh, hey, buddy. Thanks. Yeah.

Hey, Jesus, this was huge. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you. That's all I want. No, you're right, Dan. Poor Jesus. No, I'm not. He's just like you.'m not just like you he's just like

when you really think about it he's almost as good as you man god this i didn't mean to fuck you up no it's it's fine i have a do you have more to say god no i've other than like me trying to to tell you that it's it's that it's a thing that people talked about only in terms of Dan doesn't seem like he's having any fun. But it's born from them all not doing what they needed to do to get ready for the trip, right? Here's the thing that I – like we like we've had fun um wrestling with the idea of me as a control freak but um here's the thing that i don't know if it comes across all the time in

both me and people is uh i i this is gonna so strange. I do have fun being grumpy. I have fun making plans and organizing things. And I have, I, I truly enjoy being frazzled and feeling like no one can survive without me. Someone in our comments will explain why that's bad. But in the meantime, it's genuinely, when I consider the options on the low end of the spectrum is going to some cracked event somewhere without a plan and just like seeing what happens. And on the high end of the spectrum is planning everything that happens, including being upset when people deviate from the plan.

everything that happens, including being upset when people deviate from the plan. I'm so much happier on the end of the spectrum that involves being upset than I am on the end of the spectrum that carries no emotional weight. Yeah. Is that clear? Well, it is. Absolutely. I have, and I'm just thinking that I know several people in my life very close to me who are like this. And I'm thinking that maybe I surround myself with people like this because they will tell me where to go. They will like, they will insist that I don't ever have to make plans because of these people. And I get to be just like fun, freewheeling dude. freewheeling dude but uh i i think that it's when you say that like you enjoy it i think that you might not you you might be worried about what would happen if you weren't if you found out that you didn't need to do that stuff the same way we're like michael would get so anxious before performance any performance at all, Michael would get very, very anxious. And when he's on stage, there was nobody better than him. And he, in his mind, had married the two. And he thought for, maybe it was just like subconscious, but he thought that

he needed to go through that whole process of feeling like his stomach was going to fall out of him and getting very anxious and nauseous before each performance and pacing. And that's what made him good. And if he found out that none of that was true, like what would that mean about all of those times where he did it? Does that make sense? It makes sense. I don't know if, I mean, I don't know myself well enough to know if I can say that's what has happened with me. I do understand the thing that you're talking about with Michael where an integral part of the process of his genius was suffering. Yes.

The day of a performance. Yes. The day of a, of a performance. Um, I understand why you're trying to make that analogous to me planning trips. No, it's not. I think that it's that you, if you don't feel like you put in a hard day's work, you like, I'm not sure that you're the type of person who at the end, like if you're not exhausted by the end of the day, if you feel like it was wasted, is that, does that ring true at all to you? A little bit. I feel like, let me run this by you because I, I, I go, I get a cabin with my friends in the Poconos in Pennsylvania every year. And it's mostly just a weekend dedicated to eating, drinking, going in an outdoor hot tub, walking around and hiking and playing board games or doing puzzles. is like very much being in charge of the rules for the games that we play yeah and making sure that we follow the rules and it has led to many fights with very close friends

but i still i i have i i promise you and i promise my friends who are listening, I've done my level best in years past to just be like, this is the year that I'm, I'm not going to insist upon the rules. And it feels, it personally, it feels much worse to me than the years that I am insisting upon the rules and, rules and being the villain. Like I'm, I'm so much more okay with that because there's a part of my stupid fucking brain.

There's like, yeah, but at the end of the day, people will like it better if we have a game with rules. And even if they don't like me, even if they don't like me, they will like the experience of playing this game better. That's a really altruistic take on,

on like your whole life, Dan. I don't think you're right. Because I, when you equate it to games, I'm like, Oh no, I get that completely.

If I'm going to go bowling with people, I get so fucking mad. If people don't know when it's their turn or if we are gonna go somewhere we're gonna play a game i've had you were there for um i did a like a big obstacle course and uh a bunch of stuff for new year's where like there are all these different teams and i if i love structure so much i love following structure so much i don't like being the one who creates it but when people deviate from it i get very upset uh yeah it and organized sport that's why like i always love sports too is that the rules are so clear and like we just we all just got to follow these rules and when people don't want to do it

or like they think they're being fun by like skirting around them, I'm like, that's not cute. What you're doing is not neat. That's, I have to say, this is going to sound very large and dramatic. The hardest thing about being me trying to explain to people who are like isn't it more fun if i don't follow the rules look we're all buddies here we're all pals i'm a cute gal in the poconos we're all drunk at three o'clock

in the morning i want to play it this way isn't it better if I just like play it this way? Who's mad about that? And I'm sitting there quietly being like, I mean, not quietly, sitting there thinking, no, it's better for everyone if we play by the rules. Yeah, it's time tested. We're not the first people to play this game. If we were making it up on the spot,

maybe I would let you come up with some of the rules and we could discuss it. But this game is time-tested. If there weren't rules, then sure. If the rules of the game were that there were no rules, then yes, you're playing correctly. But there are rules, so you're not. So let me fix it.

Man, I didn't realize it had that in me. are rules so you're not so let me fix it man i i understand that i understand that i'm gonna leave this conversation the loser but i still know that i'm right yeah and i know that it's gonna mean so like yeah you'll relieve the conversation and everyone will like you less but also you know that after that that person will do it right. And that means so much. Yeah. No, as soon as you equate it to sports, I realized that I have this in me, a little bit of this in me as well. And I'm way more on your side now, Daniel. That's very good. This turned into so much more of a therapy session than I ever intended for a podcast about nothing.

Yeah. That's cool. Cause I have a question for you that has nothing to do with like fucking real shit. Oh, good. That'll be even ask it. Yeah. I don't remember what it was.

Oh, what's a dynamics, sweet and salty. Yeah. Great. Sure. Whatever. What's a dynamics sweet and salty yeah great sure whatever what's a a movie that probably in the back of your mind you know is not actually good but you still at the front of your

mind insist is good the saint easy okay easy the saint all right why why so like the the the harder The Saint. Easy. Okay. Easy. The Saint. All right. Why? Why? So like the harder question to answer is why in the back of your mind do you know that it's probably bad? Just thinking back, I've tried to turn people on to The Saint before and in describing the plot to them, I start to realize that either I'm doing a bad job or this is not a good movie. And I've done it enough times. Describe it to me right now. All right. So the premise of The Saint is there's a young boy in Catholic school who wants to be a magician, tries to unlock the girl's dorms at one point and he's like he's like the cock and the walk like he's presentational everybody's loving him

and then he ends up accidentally killing a little girl and that has huge consequences she falls off a banister it's not entirely his fault he's only like he didn't stab her or something she said you've described the plot of this movie multiple times it's been a while i want to give you everything uh because i'm hoping to i've described it several times and probably the first few times were the way you'd want it to be on like imdb and because those didn't work out for me i'm just throwing everything at the wall okay it's a guy who is an international mercenary, basically. He's not killing, but he's doing big projects for people. Stealing.

He's a thief. But he always goes by different pseudonyms. And he's a master of disguise because he can blend into any group of people and become anybody he wants to be. At any given time this is the um this is the um orphan magician child murderer grown up yeah he grows up no chameleon thief chameleon thief who and he names each of his personalities it's not like a talented mr ripley situation where he's becoming actual people he invents these people entirely based on what he knows he needs in that moment like if he's got to get the formula for cold fusion for instance from elizabeth shu

he starts to figure out what she wants in a guy and then he becomes that guy and names each one of these characters after a saint that's why it's called the saint. Is that important to you, the naming part? I guess so. It's really stuck with me. He has to steal cold fusion from a scientist for the Russians. A lot of this takes place in Russia. He starts to get cold feet. Just trying to figure out how to fit that in with Elizabeth's shoe.

And I can't do it yet. Oh, God. I thought it was a Russia thing. But it's a shoe thing? All right. Never mind. I take back my previous answer. The thing that everyone said about you behind your back was that you fucking sucked.

That's awful. He starts to fall in love with her. Well, she's such an honest and upfront person. And he's so hidden his all his cards are played his chest, that he starts to really fall in love with her. And then he starts to open up to her a little bit. And then he can't steal her formula anymore. And so he starts fighting on her behalf against these Russians. And he has to dunk himself in a river in the snow. And he's got to get her to the gates of the embassy. Fast, fast, go through the sewers. Oh, look, there's a car right on top of you.

And the bad guy with the cane is in it. And that's pretty much the movie. I mean this very affectionately. This is how a child describes a movie. And then there's snow. And then there's, I remember, a waterfall. It's not brontosaurus, but something like that. But something with a long neck comes through.

And it's like, it's not a mean one. But they're like, oh, good. And they feed it some grass or something. And then afterwards they walk to this other place and then one of them gets electrocuted. And it's like they didn't think it was going to be electrocuted. But then it was electrocuted. And then it was OK because the kid turned out to be fine. But then, oh, no, it's the bad kind of dinosaurs.

They show up. And then another a bad kind of dinosaurs they show up and then another a different kind of bad dinosaur shows up but like wiped out the other bad dinosaurs and the one guy is like it's okay and then he meets up with a girl who's like my thing is plants and he's like we should get married and i i'm good with kids now and they get married at the end i think anyway that's jurassic park i that's how you describe movies you gotta write this movie that sounds great it's like a water ship down of dinosaurs i love it um but yeah the the reasons that i like it are that it's very stylized than the way that like early 90s movies were like fuck it let's just go all in it are that it's very stylized. Then the way that like early 90s movies were like, fuck it, let's just go all in one direction.

It's very, very hyper stylized. Val Kilmer is kick ass in it. He's really, really fun to watch. And Elizabeth Shue is somebody I've had a crush on for a very long time. I know. She's got that waterfall scene. Yeah. She has to take off all her clothes to save his

life at one point yeah a lot of that was happening in the 90s it just occurred to me why i like this movie so much there's a scene where elizabeth shows to save his life by getting naked and that's probably it that's it i think there was someone who was much smarter than me should write a large book of essays about this but there's the the the period of late 90s movies is very specific and very underrated it really seemed like a time where a lot of money was being thrown at movies and no one was paying attention it was just high budget for no auteurs and pure nonsense and i'm so infatuated with it. By it? Infatuated by or with? By?

Infatuated by it. I think. Probably. I don't actually know. We'll find out. But yeah, just like this very specific period of movies where like the stars were impossibly

Val Kilmer. He was so cool though. He was very cool. But like, what's the best thing he's ever done? I love Val Kilmer. I love him in kiss, kiss,

bang, bang so much. I think about it all the time. What's heat. Maybe, maybe, uh, it's not the island of Dr.

Moreau. It's not, I don't know know i'd have to think about it but like oh uh what tombstone oh doc holiday hell yeah absolutely uh and he's just yeah he's allowed to be as big as he wants in this movie he gets to just like be these different characters and he really goes for it elizabeth shu is plays a scientist and you just she's so honest in it because that she's supposed to be the antithesis to him uh she just wears her heart on her sleeve in such like a a really true way that as a kid i was just like you know you fall that's like a teacher to you basically yeah Somebody who's willing to be that intimate with their emotions. And you're just like, I guess you're the one. Never seen this before.

My movie also comes from the nineties. I recently rewatched it. It's Event Horizon, which came out a few months before Titanic did. And was to its detriment it was because Titanic was supposed to be a summer release and then James Cameron was like I need a whole lot more time to work on this thing and so they had to condense what would have been 10 weeks of editing into four weeks to finish Event horizon and it came out in like the summer of i want to say 1997 and i loved it when i came out because it was i was i was very young and it was post jurassic park and like if you were a child in the 90s sam neillill from Jurassic Park was the best thing on two legs. He was just so cool.

He was our Indiana Jones. He was America's sweetheart, fucking Sam Neill somehow. And so when any movie came out, there was like, oh, and Sam Neill is in this. My entire family was like, yes, good. We're going to see it. So Event Horizon, which is an R-rated horror movie in space that suffered from editing delays, came out. We were like, I'll be there opening day. And I still think we're correct in our fandom of this movie. It's a movie that, again, tried to be a horror movie in space

in a post-alien world and succeeded by adding a bunch of new twists to that very narrow field of movies. And the cast is pretty top notch. You got Jason Isaacs. You got the guy who played, this is very on brand for me, the guy who played Alfred in the Gotham series on the CW. Oh yeah.

He's the captain of the ship, Soren. Yes, he is. And Lawrence Fishburne, who is so much better than he has any right to be in this movie. He's legitimately hilarious in a role that has not one single joke in him. He's funny because he keeps his cool in the most bizarre circumstances because this is for anyone who hasn't seen event horizon there's a it's the future it's like 2040 something and there's a crew of astronauts who are taken away from vacation because there's a distress signal from a ship called the Event Horizon, which is powered by a core that is designed to have faster than light travel.

And the way they do that is they accidentally travel to a dimension that was essentially hell and so now this rescue ship partners up with the event horizon ship and gets infected by this hell dimension and all the crew are slowly picked off by, you know, space hell demons, I guess. And Sam Neill is like super into it. And Laurence Fishburne is like, we got to get the fuck out of here. And that's the conflict of the movie. And it's in the 30s on Rotten Tomato and maybe in the 40s on Metacritic. But I still stand by it.

It's still very entertaining. That's a terrible description. I know. I know. Do you want me to do a better one? Yeah, please. The kid on their ship sees something bad. He goes to the other dimension and they pull him back by the cable and they have to put him in ISO iso for a while but oh no he's gonna hit the escape hatch oh no don't don't do

it and he hits it and he goes and freezes out in space and sam neill's like where are we going we don't need i mr justin is not a kid he's not a kid no he's in it he's he's young he's in his 20s oh okay and then uh he's huge fresh face and then uh there's a woman who wants to find her child and somehow the kid is there even though the kid's dead maybe you're sick not clear yeah but she's in a tent oh and she's scratching on this on the tent oh and lauren fishborn's fisherman's like we're getting off this goddamn shit absolutely and then and then they watch a video of what happened on the ship and they're like this is fucked we gotta go and then lawrence fishburne blows up a hallway yeah that's true and

that's that's the end without without question the best moment of the movie is they because we're all the the the mission was to go to the event horizon and find out what happened to the crew that used to uh pilot it and we're trying to figure out what like we're the captain's log hasn't been scrambled so we don't exactly know what what happened and the best part of the movie is when it gets unscrambled and we see that it's like an orgy of sex and violence and people screaming latin and as soon as we see that lawrence fishburne goes we're getting out of here it's the best part of the movie and it's played straight and it's so good it's it's you in every horror movie that's ever been made you want a character like lawrence fishburne who's being like nah fuck this this is bad let's Yeah, absolutely. I love this movie, Dan.

That's good. I've always really liked this movie. In fact, when we were kids, we would go rent this. And on VHS, this is tough to do, but we would try and stop every frame of the ship log to see what was actually happening. Oh, no. Yeah.

A lot of it's just pandemonium. A lot of it's just like swinging cameras and blurs of like guts maybe um but here's a couple of things that we did find one person eating their own intestines um a bunch of people having sex uh some of it looks like maybe it's rape there's uh a one man who it looks like he's maybe penetrating somebody else's eye socket. There's a lot of like holding up of guts just to the camera, which is like, what a presence of mind these people have during all of this to be like, oh yeah. And then the ship log, we should let everybody know.

Like these are maybe my tonsils. It's unclear what they are. I bet you've never seen a tooth with some gum on it. Now you do. Look at that wild yeah um those were the those were the things that stuck with me the most uh the guy eating his intestines was tough it was when i was a kid so the the the thing about that that i know from this movie is that um directed by paul anderson not the good one um that sequence lives in internet infamy. There's an extended version of that cut because that was something that was very important

to Paul Anderson when he was making the movie is we're going to see what happens in the original crew of Event Horizon and it's going to be graphic and sexual and violent and horrible and it was incredibly risque for the time uh probably risque for even right now and they filmed a much longer version of that cut that required adult film stars because there was a whole lot of nudity and sex and penetration that you couldn't just like ask normal extras to do that's a pretty big ask and to show up on a set for a hundred

dollars a day and they're like okay yeah here's what's gonna happen how big are your ears this will be good on your resume do both your eyes like stay in there or does one come out? No, they're both in there. All right. Well, that's gonna be a problem. Um,

so they had, uh, adult film stars. They're doing a lot of, uh, simulated sexuality and they had a lot of gory graphic violence stuff that they didn't even tell the, what,

like paramount that they were doing it was filmed secretly somewhere else and they're like we want this very long very violent very sexual cut to go into the movie like when they when the people on the ship look at what happened to the previous crew we want it to be jarring. And how it ended up in the movie is like maybe 11 seconds of footage where they're like, all right, cut that. And Lawrence Fishburne is like,

we're getting the fuck out of here. Um, so there's like a, a director's cut that no one can find, including the director who like met with someone who also worked on the film a couple of years ago. And the other person who worked on the film was like, Hey, I have a VHS that includes the extended scene. The one where everyone's freaking out in, in, in, in the past. And the director was like, that's great.

Do you have a VHS player? Like, nah. And he didn't either. So they just didn't see it. So a VHS tape exists of the Anderson cut of this movie that no one has ever seen. Oh, wow. So it's just lost to time?

Oh. I guess I don't want to see it. I don't either. I can't imagine it making the movie better. I don't think it would. It certainly wouldn't enhance my experience. I'm not great with blood in the first place. Right.

And to combine blood with sexuality, I i'm not even going any further because i now i sound like a terrible person i sound like a type of person who'd be like oh menstruation gross that's not what i'm talking about like violence and sex combined feels very uncomfortable to me okay but menstruation and sex you're fine with okay i'd be fine with that you can be fine with it i'd be fine with that okay yeah i'm fine with that okay that's that's where we want it to go it's like i'm not i'm not seeking it out is what i'm saying anyway i like event horizon because i i genuinely think it's a good movie and laurence fishburne rules in it but the the back of my mind reason for thinking that it might not be good is I know that a movie that comes out in the late 90s that features Sam Neill is going to earn a special place in my heart no matter what.

Yeah, he was like magic during that time. He was just, maybe it was a kid thing but after jurassic park i also was like that's the dude that is my tom hanks right there right like anything he was gonna be in after that i wanted jurassic park happened and then they did like the the the pierce bronson james bond movies and i was like why him why not sam neill why not fucking sam neill for everything what are we doing he's great he's perfect we love him he really is i guess you know in jurassic park he also has no business being that good in that movie too where he's like fucking with that kid with the the velociraptor claw he's just how bad

he is with kids in it like there's all kinds of like really great little details that i don't know he's a great actor he's so great we should treasure him we uh did i i don't know if i ever told you this but we um my brothers and i all this isn't cosplaying we just dressed like him because he has a very specific look in that movie he wears that light blue denim button down shirt and khaki pants and a red scarf and a hat we didn't do the hat but we all like we all bought those clothes and just like wore it around did you ever do that with anyone in a movie where it's like this is how this is how dr grant dresses so that's what i'm gonna do i don't know why not that comes to the top of my mind but what a fun one to choose

that you and your brothers weren't like rufio rufio is the guy you guys were absolutely paleontologists it was certainly an outfit that like any teacher or person on the street would be like, that's just a dork. No one would think that's Grant. It was a kid wearing a handkerchief around his neck. Yeah, I'm trying to think if there's anybody in movie history that I was like, yeah, that's who I'm going to be from now on. Maybe Val Kilmer in The Saint. Have you seen that? What is that?

How would you dress as Val Kilmer in The Saint? Well, that's the thing, Dan. You get to dress whoever you want. You just on the inside know I'm being a character. I think one of the most true Val, the truest Val Kilmer thing I've ever seen was when he hosted Saturday Night Live

and did a sketch with Molly Shannon where they were just people who did accents all the time and I was like yeah that's who Val Kilmer is Val Kilmer just wants to show off like I can do Australian I can do Irish look at me look at all this fucking shit i

can do it's it's always fun to me to see which sketches the person the host clearly came in with and was like hey can we do can we do something with this yeah and everyone's like uh okay all right what what about what if i sing in the monologue all right right, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I guess you can. Yeah. It's a treat. I like Event Horizon an awful lot, Dan. I think this is a really good movie. In fact, as I was describing it and remembering it, I was genuinely getting excited about the moments that I was bringing up. Like when he freezes, when the 20 year old is rushed out into space and you see his eyes start to bleed and everything, that scared the shit out of me.

The idea of space was so scary after Event Horizon. And it's not even like space isn't even the most horrifying thing there. It's the, you know, your portal to hell. But also you're in the middle of nowhere and you can't leave this one little tiny chamber you will also die right no one like that's such a great setting no one can leave which is the the the scariest thing in the world to me like it's the thing that i i thought about when i was scuba diving for the first time and had an anxiety attack on the bottom of the ocean and was I was like, if I wanted to leave right now, I couldn't. Because if you go too fast, you get, what is it, shingles?

No, the bends. The bends, yeah. If you leave too fast, you get the bends. So you have to do it slow and measured. And the fact that I couldn't snap my fingers and be out of a situation was terrifying to me. And I think about that when I watch Event Horizon, like the first time a person hallucinates their dying son because their ship is connected to a hell dimension. That person is not allowed to say, hey, I'm having an hallucination and I think it's, I need to go. I need to go right now. And they're not allowed to.

No one is allowed to go anywhere. And they're just stranded in space. And it's fucking terrifying. Even though it's 2040, whatever. And they're all astronauts who have done this before. And they're well versed in this. It's still like, it's scary because it's space and we can't leave you know scratch the same sort of itch for me as aliens where aliens it's a super visceral movie it is a bunch of like kind of

badasses but they are stuck out there on this little tiny ship with these terrifying things but the thing that event horizon does that that movie doesn't is that at every like some people change teams on the ship with you people that you trusted are suddenly like no you know what hell's better i love it here and now you gotta deal with them right right laurence fishburne getting on the comms and being like hey it turns out dr weir is fucking crazy i'm sorry i didn't know if you see him kill him I guess yeah that's like if Riggs decided to join the aliens at one point in the middle of the

movie and you're like oh well that was our that was our only mech suit hey Soren I gotta ask you a question when you say Riggs in aliens who do you think you're talking about? Mel Gibson.

You know, like when he's helping Danny Glover off the toilet because there's a bomb. And they get it. They get off and he's like, Riggs. He's like, Riggs! I deeply wish everyone could see that I'm not looking at IMDb right now to prove that I have this information in my head. What am I thinking? What's Bill Paxton's name in that? God damn it.

Hudson. Fuck. Hudson. You might be thinking of, if you're thinking of a strong black character. Uh-huh. A-Pone. He chewed cigars. Oh, yeah.

No, I was thinking of Bill Paxton. You're thinking of Hudson? Game over, man. Game over. Yeah. Game over, man. Game over. Yes.

Or wait, what was the woman's name who ends up killing her and her friend with a grenade vasquez oh yeah she was pretty cool too was she just my point is if she joined the aliens you'd be like well fuck she was our best one that's true that's how Van Horizon is anyway I'm what I'm saying is I'm with you

that's good I think it's a good movie it's a good movie and uh this is a good podcast you know I think so I mean

I think it's getting there we've we've been on here for plenty of time Daniel um we can actually go I mean, I think it's getting there. We've been on here for plenty of time, Daniel. We can actually go, but I do want to give out all of our social information. While I do that, though, I got to find it. I just want to give you a chance to talk about maybe like a moment from your past that you think is the most likely thing to get you canceled now if anyone dug deep enough to find it uh that's a very good question i think i want to answer it honestly because that's the only way to beat you in this game that we're playing um I used to, admittedly, foolishly, in my early 20s, I had a recurring series in my

columns at crack.com, a website that now doesn't exist anymore, where I attempted to call out Miley Cyrus, the actress who at the time played Hannah Montana and dabbled in singing. It was interesting to me at the time to put myself on the same level at her. Like the joke was, I saw us as equals. So when I attacked her, I was like, Hey, peer to peer, you're a piece of shit. And's why. The subtext of those jokes was, isn't it funny that this person, some 21-year-old nothing who writes for a comedy website, thinks he's on the same level as an undeniable superstar? I think that subtext has been lost over time

and it just looks like lateral bullying, which was never the intention because the butt of the joke was always me. But again, that idea has been lost to time. So the thing that I think would do a lot of damage to me is people finding that and taking it seriously. But even then, I think the people are smarter than that. I think they won't take the bait of that. I think they won't be fooled by it.

I think they'll recognize it for what it is, which is a 22-year-olds failed Gambit to gain attention by punching upwards at a figure that was much bigger and more important than he was. Yeah. That's fair. That's a good answer, Daniel. I didn't anticipate a good answer. Yeah, well, I've been, you know. On Twitter, you can follow Daniel at DOB underscore Inc. Soren at Soren underscore LTD.

That's me. Michael still actually does work on the show behind the scenes. You just don't get to hear him on the show because he doesn't have a mic. He's a make me bacon, please. Nags us all the time. It's like you guys. He really does. Guys, can you tweet the show?

Can you record the show? I'm like, oh my God, what else? Let it go. He's at make me bacon, please. You can follow quick question at QQ underscore Soren and Dan on Twitter. You can also email the show QQ with soren and daniel at gmail.com and you can find follow hire our producer or you just praise him our sound engineer our editor good friend gabe harder he's at uh gabe harder.com and we also have a patreon which is patreon slash which is patreon.com.

Don't want to get you lost on the internet. That's it. Speaking of lost on the internet, what's in the hatch, right? What's in that fucking hatch, Soren? What's in the hatch? Why is the smoke monster only there sometimes? Is it a polar bear? Soren, honest question, gun to your head. What was in the hatch? Why is the smoke monster only there sometimes? Is it a polar bear? So an honest question, gun to your head.

What was in the hatch? A guy. Rigs, I want to say. All right.