Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 67 - A Very Thanksgivingy Clip Show!

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

In this episode we revisit some of our favorite ending bits from the last year.  If this doesn't make you cringe than there is something deeply wrong with you! And as always a big thanks to our spons...ors. Thanks RAYCON!  For a limited time, get 20% off your order at buyraycon.com/QQ.  And don't forget to go tohellotushy.com/qq get FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF BIDETS and FREE SHIPPING.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel. A so far unawarded show which acts as the only line of communication between two best friends and you get to observe truly every moment of that friendship. It's like a like a zoo but for human relationships and you can only see it with your ears. I'm one half of that exhibit, writer for American Dad, performer, and just all-around outstanding house guest Soren Bui. The other half is the Fisher King, father of a dog, fast friend, famously single, and the only folksy boy from New York, Daniel O'Brien. He also probably has a job, but it currently escapes me. The fact that Daniel isn't doing his own introduction should clue most of you into the fact that this episode we're doing something a little bit different. It's currently Thanksgiving and he and I are affording ourselves a little break with the
Starting point is 00:00:52 exception of me recording this. Instead, the show will be a compilation of our favorite iterations of our favorite bit from Quick Question, which is of course the end. At the end of each episode, either Daniel or I try to paint the other into a deeply problematic corner. And then we just sit there and sort of watch as the other one tries to clumsily escape. It's a deeply mean thing we do to each other. It almost never goes well. And it's super dangerous to have that kind of thing live on in recorded perpetuity. super dangerous to have that kind of thing live on in recorded perpetuity. So without any further ado, here are some of the worst, or I guess the best, depending on how much you hate us, moments that will someday end our careers. Please enjoy.
Starting point is 00:01:37 This episode is brought to you by Raycon. Thanks to Raycon Wireless Earbuds for supporting Quick Question. Raycon earbuds start at about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the market. For a limited time, get 20% off your order at buyraycon.com slash qq. Thanks to Hello Tushy for supporting Quick Question. Hello Tushy is a sleek bidet attachment that clips onto your toilet and sprays your butt clean with fresh water. And it's the best thing you can do for your butt. And it starts at just $79. Go to hellotushy.com slash QQ to get 15% off bidets and free shipping.
Starting point is 00:02:14 I'm getting pretty exhausted and I have so many things to do. I need to track down all the social media accounts. But while I'm doing that, Soren, you said you had a list of great band names that you just wanted to give away for free what's that list that list of band names yeah that you had uh yeah i don't even have to pull it up because i have them all memorized uh cluster hole and um uh bubonic hag i thought would be a good one. The Dark Season. Midnight to Twilight. Am I pronouncing that right?
Starting point is 00:02:54 Twilight. The Rooster Crows. Yeah, in your email to me, you said you had three more. Yeah, the Rooster crows. Yeah, in your email to me, you said you had three more. Yeah, the rooster crows. Like, hark the rooster crows. Not like these are the roosters, the rooster crows that you're thinking of.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Toonsie and the Mayballs. You're going to get a lot of overlap with Toots and the Maytalls. And the future is a good name that's the whole band name the future is a good name okay very good while i'm doing that uh soren you you said you had uh a rap that was like in the style of gangster's paradise that you wanted to do about colorado and you wanted space to do that so i'm gonna give you space to do that while i track down the social accounts fuck you all right um yeah i do uh i've been waiting to accounts. Fuck you. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Yeah, I do. I've been waiting to perform this for a pretty long time now. Thank you for giving me the space to do that and giving me a safe place in which to do that. Okay, here we go. We hit the mountains right around November. You were three then and too young to remember how we huddled round the fire and our blankets made of skin that we traded for some whiskey with a one-eyed Indian. He warned us against trying for the pass.
Starting point is 00:04:45 But your foolhardy pops was trying to get there fast. We were making good time and everything was alright until a storm started hitting and we stopped for the night. One night turned into 18 weeks. Your sister got sick and we ran
Starting point is 00:05:02 out of meat. It's funny what a family will do to survive. We rationed out your sister just to stay alive. Thanks. Thanks everyone for listening. The sister lives?
Starting point is 00:05:22 No, man. Oh, no, no. We ate her. He started humming what I thought was the wrong tune in the beginning. I was like, he doesn't know what Gangster's Paradise is. No, I just don't know how to hum. I don't know. There's a letter that Soren gave me. Physically mailed me a letter.
Starting point is 00:05:59 It says nothing except virgins are bad. Do you want to speak on that? It seemed very important to you. Do you want to explain why you said that? That virgins are bad?
Starting point is 00:06:13 Sorin? You mailed it to me. Yep. I'd love to. Thanks for giving me a platform in which to expel this opinion. Virgins are bad bad in my opinion because um they take away an opportunity from society society to, to, to share in their bodies.
Starting point is 00:06:55 And that's selfish. But okay. Listen, now let's just pretend I'm talking about virgin guys. Like it's not so bad anymore right right hello anyway all right well i'm gonna do the outros but but before I want to find them here, I just didn't want to give you some time. You at one point told me, well, I know that you hate letting
Starting point is 00:07:30 old adages that are wrong stand. And you said that you'd create a list of jobs that are objectively harder than being a mom. And I just wanted you to have an opportunity to roll those out. Jobs that are harder than being a mom? Yeah. I mean, so many people say it's the hardest job in the world and you've always said, no, sir, here are several that are harder. Do you say that? And so you're going to give me some space now to, to give that list. Yes. Okay, great. That sounds good. Uh, I want to say male nurse. I'm going to say principal, uh, again, parenthetically, mail. I want to say, oh, there's if you go to like a Home Depot, there's a guy who has to man the station where it puts the paint can in a machine and it shakes the paint because the if you go to a sports party, the machine that puts the spool onto a reel, because you do that with a machine, that can really, that can knock you on your toes if you're not careful. And then you have to start from scratch.
Starting point is 00:08:38 And the man who works that is also, I would rank as a hero above mom which isn't a job that's perfect thank you two o'clock the other morning you'd send me a text that said phrenology is a science we shouldn't have given up on so quickly do you just want to speak to that yeah I want to speak to it a little bit just because um i don't think there's any science that we should give up on you know like there's so many different kinds of sciences and phrenology which uh i only know from the roots album is underappreciated and needs to be explored more. That's a really good answer. Thanks, Dan. You had told me that you didn't think the wage gap was real and you just wanted to take some time to talk about that. Yeah. So what I'm hearing is that for every dollar that a man makes,
Starting point is 00:09:43 a woman makes 70 cents, which is insane. So like I go to work, I'm working all day. I make, let's say, $50. And then a woman who is not working makes 70 cents for every one of the dollars that I make of that 50. That's absurd. I mean, you've misquoted me. I believe there's a gap. I just think that it unfairly punishes the man is, is I suppose the logical extension of,
Starting point is 00:10:13 of this argument that I started making. It's I find that when I do these as well, like my, my idea is to be like, I'll lean into this. Oh God, I'm leaning in really far. And then the ground just starts collapsing and I start getting sucked down into this horrible vortex. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring this episode.
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Starting point is 00:12:55 to open the lockbox, I have to go into my used to put my high score saved in a game in this game boy so i can get the password from there to open the lockbox to get the social accounts and in the meantime while i'm doing all that um on the subject of the terror attacks of september 11th mark walberg quite famously said in a 2012 men's journal interview promoting his new movie contraband quote if i was on the plane with my kids it wouldn't have went down like it did Mark Wahlberg quite famously said in a 2012 Men's Journal interview promoting his new movie Contraband, quote, If I was on the plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first class cabin. And then me saying, OK, we're going to land somewhere safely.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Don't worry. End quote. That's such a good one. That's what you're able to say. Similarly, that was magic. I know that you saw and you also went on record as to what you would do. Were you on one of those planes? But I can't for the life of me find out, find where that quote was.
Starting point is 00:13:54 If you happen to remember what you said, please tell us. Remember, in this situation, it's 9-11 and you're on a plane with Mark Wahlberg. And you said you would do what? It's 9-11 and you're on a plane with Mark Wahlberg and you said you would do what? Yeah. I'm glad you asked because this was on, I put this up on JibJab and it's since disappeared. I don't know why. If I was on that plane with Mark Wahlberg, I mean, first things first, he and I are making eye contact because we both were on the same page on a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:14:28 And he and I, we have these conversations with each other just through our eyes. And I would be like looking at him. But at the same time, I'm slowly moving one of his kids over out of the seat next to me. By the way, his kid's sitting next to me because he trusts me to sit next to his other kid. Just like keep him in line. And I'd be like moving that kid's head off my shoulder because he's asleep during this and uh getting it over to the side and then slowly pulling out my sunglasses and i'm gonna put those on then it's important that i i go and i log into uh the the web the wi-fi the boingo hotspot yeah yep famously reliable boingo hotspot yes i'm going to go into spotify and i'm going to play
Starting point is 00:15:17 hip to be square by huey lewis in the news i'm going to wait through the commercial that starts out before it you don't pay for that then as soon as hip to be square, those first guitar riffs come in. I'm jumping out of my seat. The seatbelt light's still on. I don't give a shit. I'm undoing my seatbelt. I'm jumping out of my seat. I'm going over first things first, high-fiving Mark Wahlberg.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Then he and I are running both hands together into the first terrorist. Now we're going at such a high speed that we're cutting him directly in half. He, we're not just knocking him down mid torso, just torn directly in half. And we're just dangling this spine between our hands. At this point, we've, we've developed sort of a gallop together and, uh, I fall into mo into line behind him. We do, we morph into what is more or less a human horse. Uh, so are you trample the next guy? Are you still hands together at this point? No, no, no, uh, no, but there was a signal.
Starting point is 00:16:19 There was an energy there that we're going to talk about later between. So you trample the next guy. We trample him. Yeah. Trample him. Um, like we've been lifting weights so much together that our hands are like these calloused hooves and we're just trampling the next guy.
Starting point is 00:16:37 We make our way through. Ah, fuck. Are there nine guys? 11. I can't remember how many. I can't remember if it's nine or 11. The next thing I'm doing, I'm taking the box cutter
Starting point is 00:16:48 off the ground from this terrorist that we just trampled. And I'm waiting until the terrorists all kind of line up and then I'm throwing it through them. Through like something soft like their skulls. Sure. It's just going through each one of their skulls and doing the most damage. And like sticking in a wall going yeah and then from that point you see the window start to crack below it and then oh no and the window breaks open but everybody is already in their seat belts except marky and i and uh and so they're all being they're not getting sucked out but the terrorists have been standing up this whole time and so they all of them get sucked out of this window, this tiny little window.
Starting point is 00:17:28 And you can just see like guts coming out of their mouths and stuff. And it's real cool. And Hit To Be Square comes to a finale, comes to an end. I jump at the window and with just one massive muscular thigh, I blocked the, the suction out of the plane and everybody saved standing ovations around. I pull the rest of my sunglasses out, throw them onto the faces of everyone in the audience. Cause at this point it's an audience.
Starting point is 00:17:59 And then, uh, he and I do a rendition of... Fuck. Good vibrations. There it is. Soren, I gotta be honest. Yeah. No notes.
Starting point is 00:18:18 You've been sending me a lot of texts lately. And all they say is Israel should just move. Mm-hmm. I guess you just mean the country like the country should move yes okay look you want to elaborate on that no so what i have always thank you very much for giving me this space to talk about this what i have always thought is that uh it is not the country that makes the people and Israel is a country, right? Yeah, it is. Okay, great. Uh, it's not the country that makes the people. It's the people that make the country, you know? So I feel like there's a lot of, uh, heads butting on this whole Israel thing, which is about as far as I'm willing to wade into the depths of this conversation.
Starting point is 00:19:05 This whole Israel thing. That's what I'm willing to say. A lot of heads butting on this whole Israel thing. And I feel like if we just wanted to turn the temperature down a few degrees, just like wind this down a few notches, just take Israel, and I'm using Israel in quotes, meaning the people, and put them somewhere else. And then... An exodus, if you will. Yeah. Once heads cool a little bit and Israel is like,
Starting point is 00:19:34 I don't know, an island or that part just outside of Rio that used to be the Amazon, and now it's not anymore because it's on fire. If we just make that Israel, And now it's not anymore because it's on fire. If we just make that Israel. Who's mad then? Everyone gets their things. I would call that the trail of cheers. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Oh, my God. Thank you. That's very good. All right. I found it. You could follow. So here's the thing that's that's very true of me. I'm incredibly ignorant about Israel. That's very true of me.
Starting point is 00:20:03 I'm incredibly ignorant about Israel. And I imagine there are several things that I said that are probably legally hate crimes. Yeah, I mean, that's sort of the point of these, though, right? Thank you to Hello Tushy for sponsoring this podcast. Look, we all know what happens to American toilets the days following Thanksgiving. Big ingestions are inevitably followed by big egestions. It's just, it's physics. But after your canned cranberry catharsis or whatever you want to call it, you don't have to worry a bit about cleaning up with Hello Tushy. For years, bidets have cost thousands of dollars and have been available only to the top
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Starting point is 00:23:37 because this has been a real thorn in my side for a while. Listen, I think it's a great idea to do reboots of movies. I think that we're in a time when, you know, you could show so much more in a film than you could before you you're not beholden to the laws of physics or anything now, because you have CGI available to you. And what I'm saying is that I say, you know, if you want to do them with women, that's fine, but make them CGI women. Oh, why are we giving these roles to real women when you can have them do so much more when they're CGI? Right. And do you, do you, sorry to jump in. I hate to do this, but, uh, do the voices of the women characters need to be women? Well, so here's what I'm thinking. I think that there
Starting point is 00:24:21 are a lot of really great male actors out there who they're just not working right now. Where's Brendan Fraser? Nobody knows. And you can get Brendan Fraser and the things also that you can do with a voice now in 2019 are incredible. Billy Crudup as a female Ghostbuster. That sounds incredible. And so, yeah, you get those guys in there. You could make Brandon Frazier sound exactly like Kristen Wiig. I swear to God you could do it. And so then Kristen Wiig doesn't even have to lift a finger. She just gets to stay home, which is where she belongs, Dan. I wanted to just quickly give you a chance to talk about something that you said to me recently about sports. You said steroids saved sports. Do you want to talk about that? writing, my field, is you spend so much time working on it. And I just feel like all I'm doing is training. And if you do it well enough, you learn from the best writers, the best authors, the best comedians, the best thinkers, the best minds, and you have access at your fingertips of
Starting point is 00:25:40 all of the best writing that's ever happened. And that makes me a best writer. It's just like the things that are around me that I can consume make me the best writer. And I think similarly, the best doctors, you know, they're not just like, you're not born a naturally good doctor. You go to school, you train, you surround yourself with greatness. And with sports, you train and you surround yourself with other people who are great at sports. And then if you find another thing, whether it's in my case, a book, and in doctors' cases, a book, or in athletes' cases, a needle or whatever from a doctor who studied from books. So it's the same thing. Then you're not really doing anything wrong.
Starting point is 00:26:29 You're using the world. You're using the environment to dedicate yourself to being better at this one skill. And if that's a crime, lock me up, not me, obviously specifically, but other people lock them up not me obviously specifically but other people
Starting point is 00:26:45 lock them up but also like don't because according to the the train of thought that i'm making right now i'm fine with the idea of drugs and baseball and no like i like truly am like on a separate so the point of this of of these bits is that soren and i ruin each other's lives but like in actuality i think as long as the art if i would say change the culture before you change the drugs man it sucks that i believe this but like the right now we have a culture where we want our football players to be like giant, impossibly huge, impossibly fast monsters that run into each other every day. And we want our baseball players to hit more home runs than they ever have before
Starting point is 00:27:34 in the history of time. Despite the fact that bodies aren't naturally getting better, we still want that because we have this insatiable need for bigness and greatness and improvement. And if we tamp down the culture, that's good. We should do that. But if we're not, then yeah, let them use drugs. I don't know. Let them take steroids because they're fulfilling a need. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I'll say, Dan, that train that you were constructing as it was speeding across the tracks has pulled smoothly into the station. That was great. You had said earlier that you thought that people of color shouldn't be allowed to go as cowboys for Halloween. Could you elaborate on that? Yeah. Thank you, Zoran. I'm really glad that I have this space to answer that thing that i i went on record i suppose um i just think that it's it's really there's two
Starting point is 00:28:35 issues that i have with it in cowboy it's the it's the boy part can we just can we not in 2019 can they be cow people like honestly like like soren i'm asking you? Can they be cow people? Like, honestly, like, like, so I'm asking you, honestly, can I be cow people? And before you answer that, I have another question that I need to ask you, honestly. Cow? Also kind of gendered, no? Because like, isn't bull a male cow? So isn't cow female cow? And so then wouldn't it be female gendered thing boy gendered thing so i'm just saying uh instead of cowboy it could be animal people and anyone can do it for halloween or any holiday you so deftly stumbled out of that noose dan well done well done oh a lot of people i don't Dan. Well done. Well done. Oh, a lot of people I don't think know this, but Soren and I and this has been going on for many years, we share a bank account. Like all of our
Starting point is 00:29:35 finances go to the same place. So we get to see what the other one spends their money on. And I can't normally it's totally fine but uh i'm just curious while i track down these accounts soren why did you purchase the domain soren loves big naturals.com while you answer that question i'm gonna i'm gonna track down these social accounts yeah no this is actually a topic that is near and dear to my heart, as you might imagine, by the name of the domain I took.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Big naturals are so important to me because, listen, every type of fruit that you buy, it's got so many pesticides on it. So much gross stuff and on the skin, especially. So if you're dealing with a banana or something like that that it's a little bit better because there's a peel but what i really love to sink my teeth into is a big natural peach and you'd be shocked at the amount of pesticides and toxins that exist on the outsides of those peaches and also the things that they're just pumped full of to keep them that big so i did a lot of research on my own part, which you've, you also probably saw, uh, cause we also share a search history. Uh, and I found that there's, if you can just get a natural, a big natural peach, uh, then you, you, you discount all those, those toxins, all those,
Starting point is 00:31:02 uh, pesticides. You don't have to worry about any of that. But they're really hard to find. They're very hard to find. So I was going to just put together a database of the orchards that grow big naturals. Okay, so that was going to be my follow-up question. That also explains why you bought the domain name Soren's Big Nasty Peaches. That's the same reason? No, peaches are also what i call vaginas and you had told me at one point that the best solution to global warming was thinning the population do you want to do you want to expand on that? Yeah, I would love to. So here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:31:46 And thinning has two different definitions. A lot of people, when I said we need to thin the herd to solve climate change, a lot of people were like, you want to get rid of people? You want to like eliminate huge swaths of people? No, of course not. I just want to make them thinner i want the population to stay the same i want us to maintain this rate of growth but i just want everyone to be a little weight conscious so we can cut a slim profile because i think the world is going to end when the world is going to end. And we might as well look good when we go out.
Starting point is 00:32:30 I did not anticipate that this would go to fat shaming. I love that you doubled down. That is apparently how I feel. Starting now. Todd Phillips, writer-director behind The Hangover Trilogy, and also that War Dogs movie that everyone saw, and the helmer of the upcoming Joker movie, had this to say on the subject of why he moved from comedies to the very serious Joker movie. Quote, Go try to be funny nowadays with this woke culture.
Starting point is 00:33:08 There were articles written about why comedies don't work anymore. I'll tell you why. Because all the fucking funny guys are like, fuck this shit, because I don't want to offend you. It's hard to argue with 30 million people on Twitter. You just can't do it, right? So you just go, I'm out. And I believe when he said that, which is to say when he said that woke culture is ruining comedy, so that's why he's quitting it.
Starting point is 00:33:31 You, Soren, said same. Care to expand on that? Yeah, oh, absolutely. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I know that I happen to work on a comedy show, but every single day I walk in there and I think about how I can fuck over my audience and really stick it to them because that's the only way people grow. You hurt them, right? You hurt, you hurt them, you abuse them. And that's how they grow. And that's what comedy is supposed to be. It's not supposed to be funny.
Starting point is 00:34:06 If you're laughing, it means you don't get it. It's supposed to hurt inside of you. And then you're supposed to say at the end, thank you very much for that pain. I'm a bigger, better person because of it. And if they're not doing that, then they don't get it. So people who think that comedy is about laughing, what is this? A kid's cartoon? We watch an anvil fall on a coyote? That's not what we're doing on here on stage. We're teaching lessons about the world. This is the school of hard knocks, my friend,
Starting point is 00:34:38 and you're going to get knocked. Speaking of which, knocked up, excellent movie. Perfect example. Like you're teaching people people if you're teaching people that women not so great unless they're hot in which case they better be insecure and if even if they that you can get that window open you can finally like get them pregnant you hang on to that uh i don't know if dan you want to talk quickly about you sent me a message the other day in the middle of the night yeah uh and you said that the fact that malaria isn't in the u.s is proof that god is good and we are favored i sent that to you in the middle of the night yeah well for me it was the middle of night for you i assume it was seven in the morning yeah first thought in your brain yeah it was earlier it was uh this sounds like it was after my so i wake up i have my my coffee
Starting point is 00:35:28 i do a little bit of of yoga i started meditating oddly enough uh and it's really been doing wonders for me that's sort of what gave me the clarity to arrive at this conclusion that if we were doing something wrong, then we would be justly punished for it. So the fact that we're not seems like we're moving things in the right direction. I mean, I don't, I don't want to say that everyone else who,
Starting point is 00:35:57 I mean, I don't want to say failed, but like in quotes failed God's test and is now suffering is bad. But, uh, that's only because it's not for me to interpret God's will. Sorry, I'm going to fuck you in this next episode.
Starting point is 00:36:20 I was waiting for the turnaround on that one, Dan. You made me talk about why virgins were bad. I know one of the biggest causes that you champion is that a sweatshop is a derogatory term for what's ultimately a pretty self-empowering opportunity for kids. I wanted to give you the opportunity. You had some other ideas for what they should be called instead that were a little more flattering and to just list a couple of those.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Yes. Thank you. Uh, so I didn't want it to be called sweatshop anymore. I wanted it to have different names. Is that the premise of the thing that I said? Yeah. Something a little lighter. Good. Yep. Uh, I mean just off the top of the dome, this is like a first thought that probably you or anyone else listening had is is uh get crops which it uh phenomenally is is similar and it it calls to mind harvesting good ideas and also good like wallets and dresses and whatnot like you're gonna get them you know you're gonna get crops and another thing that i i i thought of was uh sweat stop
Starting point is 00:37:36 is that because they're like comma stop or sweat question mark sweat question mark okay stop because you're not going to sweat anymore after you you put on these these tops and these hats that we're making in this factory it it wicks the sweat off you off you so like sweat stop you know and another one uh that i've been toying with is let's stop which is like just cool it don't investigate what's going on let's just we're all so exhausted we've all been we're all so busy so like let's just stop you know let's let's stop looking into things yeah Yeah. I'm glad that you clarified that, that it wasn't about let's stop these, this practice. It was let's stop looking into this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Yeah. Like, like Ronan Farrow did his investigation. That's enough investigations for the 2010s. I think. So let's stop. Let's just stop looking into stuff. We did it.
Starting point is 00:38:43 We got it. So like, you know, find another hobby on Twitter. You can find another hobby that isn't investigative journalism as a hobby. It's going to take me a while to find them. So, okay.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Um, I just want to send them to you right now. If you like, no, no, no, no, I have them saved in a spot. I just, it takes me a while to remember the code to get in. Um, I just want to send them to you right now. If you like, no, no, no, no, I have them saved in a spot. I just, it takes me a while to remember the code to get in. Um, but I wanted to give you a little bit of time to talk about something that you talked to me recently about, which was, you said something like the, the thanks to modern capitalism, like hostile takeovers and corporate slapsuits and just general business espionage are all parts of what we consider modern warfare.
Starting point is 00:39:26 And where it used to be that the strongest man was king in the modern world, it should be, in order to save capitalist society, that we make the richest person king. Do you want to explain why you think the richest person should be king? Do you know how much Jeff Bezos gave to charity last year? I don't. $43 million, probably, or something like that. It might as well be that. Do you know how many jobs Jeff Bezos created in the last year? I would say upwards of 14. In the last year?
Starting point is 00:40:02 I would say upwards of 14. Yeah, so much more than 14. And it doesn't matter if they're, you know, peeing themselves in factories or dying on factory floors and being left there for hours before someone is like, excuse me, I think this is a corpse. The thing is, he's a job creator. thing is he's a job creator that's one that's one corpse out of the many many thousands hundreds of thousands of jobs that he has created single-handedly with no help from anyone else how many jobs did what's her nuts mother theresa create i don't know none off the top of my head i don't think she was creating any jobs when she showed up in fucking calcutta in 1920 i don't think she was sharing that wealth spreading that money around jeff bezos is or bezos or whatever you don't even know our king's name no i don't and he could flog me for that and he would be right too
Starting point is 00:40:58 because he is listening right now on this speaker that he gave me for free so he could listen to me. And I'm going to just like shout things that I want in my apartment, sometimes in my sleep. And then I'm going to wake up and there's going to be an ad on my computer. And I was like, Hey, I heard you screaming about weighted blankets. Do you want one? And I'll be like, ah, yes, thank you. And then some fucking 16-year-old is going to shit their pants to make sure I get that weighted blanket in 48 hours. And who am I to stand in the way of that? For a second there.
Starting point is 00:41:34 You ever yell at a storm soaring? You ever stand on the beach and try to scream at a tidal wave? How'd that go for you? This is the way the future is going. This is the shape that progress is taking. You don't want to be the fool who tries to reason with a tornado, do you? I guess not. No.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I hope you feel about two feet tall right now. For a second there, I thought you were going to say that Jeff Bezos listens to our podcast. But you're absolutely right that the American public public is his podcast he can listen to everybody anytime absolutely and i hope he likes what what he hears you're you're you're you're bald and your eye is weird and your your rocket ship looks like a penis jeff dan's opinions are not my opinions and I'm happy to serve you, sir. Okay, everyone. I hope you enjoyed those. That's our show for the day.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Obviously, I can't do an end bit for Daniel this week because he's not here. So, goodbye.

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