Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Siri Disappear!

Episode Date: March 4, 2022

Story Time! Daniel tells a great story about thin walls, and Soren threatens people with an axe! And as always big thanks to our sponsors.  Thanks BetterHelp.  Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/qq. Shop with confidence — get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/qq. Skillshare.com/qq and one-month free trial

So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I'm one half of that podcast, writer, author, and namaste at home dog dad, Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bui. Soren, say aloha. Aloha, ladies and gentlemen, and mahalo from Los Angeles, the birthplace of the mohalo and the aloha. I'm Sora Bui. I'm one half of this podcast. I'm a writer for American Dad.

And I pronounce it Hawaii. I know a lot of people want to say Hawaii, but not this guy. This guy says Hawaii. And I think that that's got to be OK with you if you're from Hawaii. I really thought I thought I was going to get you. I thought I was going to trigger some anger in you with namaste at home, dog dad. And I thought if that doesn't get him, then surely aloha will. Because I have a very specific memory of the first time I got back from Maui when I went back to the office and I was like on island time, meaning I was super relaxed and chill and also playing up how on island time I was

to annoy all of my friends. And you bit within the first day because I was wearing a shirt from Maui Brewing Company. And as you saw me walk by wearing it, you read the back and you're like, does that shirt say brewed with aloha? And you were so mad about it. For as, as protective as I am about Colorado, a place where I haven't lived in 22 years. So I, I think people from Hawaii are even more so. And like, it drives me crazy. It should be something that I would take and internalize and then be like, okay, well, how can I make this better?

But I don't, I just don't like people from Hawaii because of the way that they talk about Hawaii. I see. Um, and like, and that they bring that Aloha spirit with them everywhere really makes me upset. Um, yeah, I remember when, when you came back and you were playing up Island Time. It was a fun bit for a while. Thanks to BetterHelp for supporting Quick Question.

For 10% off your first month, go to betterhelp.com slash QQ. Start living a better life today. Let's thank Honey for supporting this episode of Quick Question. These days, I feel like online shopping is the only shopping I really do. It's a free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and automatically applies the best one available at checkout to whatever I'm buying. Go to joinhoney.com slash QQ. Thanks to Skillshare for supporting Quick Question. Skillshare empowers you. It's an online learning community that offers membership with so much to explore real projects to create and the support of fellow creatives explore your

creativity at skillshare.com qq and get a one month free trial um but there's so every i'm sure you do this too when you listen to somebody else talk you're sitting there thinking of six different things you want to say yeah and then whatever like the last three are you're like well maybe i'll get one of those out but you went through the namaste thing and i i did a like a bite um and it really reminded me that my my at the beginning of the pandemic and i don't know how they got these out so fast my mom sent my son a shirt that said namaste six feet away out so fast my mom sent my son a shirt that said namaste six feet away and i was like all right thanks yeah a reference that i'm sure he loved yeah and i can't put him in that he's representing my family wow humiliating i mean i'm not for the other kids but the other parents are

gonna be like let's see oh oh okay nam stay six feet away and uh really communicating a whole lot it was like well maybe it'll be like around the house shirt we've all got those and but my son doesn't wear clothes around the house he runs around in just his underwear at the house things have gotten a little feral at our house and uh he doesn't wear shirts so this is just a shirt that he's just never worn also to say that i think namaste is silly surely must have outgrown that shirt at this point no um so they stopped growing so fast so like he still can wear some of the clothes he's had for over a year and a half wow namaste small huh uh he has he has uh i don't know what it is i think maybe like at five six seven like they just they stop growing for a little bit they don't get as big as fast uh they get kind of long and

gangly and then it stops for a little bit but um it remind it made me think when i saw the shirt namaste six six feet away and the way you said it as well, it sounds like somebody saying, nah, I'm going to. Nah, I'm going to stay six feet away, which immediately saying no at the beginning of whatever you'reembered from a podcast or something I misremembered from like a novelty T-shirt that I happened upon in Kohl's where the original context on the shirt is like, you want me to wake up early and go to yoga? Namaste in bed. Yes. question mark namaste in bed yes so i like the nah is certainly intentional uh in the origin story of this this very funny bit that everyone likes um but what i did is is i made myself a namaste at home dog dad yeah but you're also preserved it still preserves the no like i'm not gonna go out i'm gonna stay at home dog dad but you kind of mean it right because you are doing some meditation and you are still

so putting the no at the beginning of something that's namaste do you feel like you're you're antagonizing the namaste i the sole target of my antagonism was you from the beginning. Okay, great. Everything else is friendly fire. Whoever else I kill with these sniper jokes along the way, that's on them for walking out in the middle of this crossfire. That's great. But yeah,

I loved your intro. I want to say that first of all, I don't say this enough. Your intros are always great, Dan. That's good. I really appreciate that. Cause you're,

you're doing the next one. How do you feel about that? That's fine. I'll do one. Hell yeah. The thing is that after I get done with it, you're like, that was maybe the worst one I've ever heard.

Yeah. So maybe, maybe like try, use that, use that energy to fuel you, you know? Okay. I'm going to go dark horse on the next one. I'm going to go something completely out of left field that you won't even see coming. Okay. That's great. Let's get into the show where we ask each other questions and give each other answers. And let's start by not doing that. It's story time again from Daniel. I wanted to just fill you in and and and take your temperature on something so I moved recently I don't know how how recently but not permanently right not did you move permanently or are you in a are you a lack of a better word a hermit crab of the Jersey Shore right now. I'm a hermit crab of the Jersey Shore. I have a lease that's a little over a year.

So it's not permanent by obviously any stretch, but I'm like settled here for a year, which is nice. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a house that's very close to the beach. I love it. I'm very happy. The house is, I have neighbors on the house is I have neighbors

on the second floor a very nice man lives with his son sometimes and that's who this story is about we've had nothing but positive interactions and then one day he knocked on my door

and he was very this was not a conversation he wanted to have. I could tell. And he kept apologizing over and over again, but it was a noise complaint thing. And from the beginning he was like, I want you to know I'm really chill. I think it's great having you here.

There have been no problems at all. You haven't had any problems for me. I'm super chill. I'm a very laid back guy. I was just wondering the music. Could you maybe just on weekends wait until after 10 a.m.? And I thought this is a very reasonable request. And I felt and feel terrible because I get up pretty early.

I'm up at like 630 or 640. I do my morning meditation for 20 minutes, and then I'm ready to start my day, which generally begins with playing a song out of my speaker, like a song that'll get me pumped or a song that I will just start dancing or moving to or something. And if I'm blasting Do You Want to Taste It,

the theme song for Peacemaker, as I've been doing for the last couple of weeks at 7 a.m absolutely unacceptable behavior that's maniac behavior uh and i and and i'm telling him this like oh my god of course absolutely i like like pick any time doesn't need to be 10 a.m like just text me if my music is ever too loud and I, and I will do something about it. But like, he was like, really just, just weekends. Cause I, I, I work so much.

And on the weekends, just like a couple of extra hours sleep is really important to me. So just, just not no music before 10 a.m. I'm like, great, no problem. And then he continues and he says, I'm really down with the whole music thing, by the way. I produced bands in college. And then I thought, oh, fuck, he means bass playing. Because why else would you bring up, I produce bands. And now I'm even more embarrassed.

I had no idea that I was playing bass that early. It's certainly possible because my day starts early. I assume the rest of the world's day also starts when mine does um and again like i am super apologizing and then he continues and he says again it's just early on weekends and it's not that bad it's just just please not not so early it's not bad actually my son was here the other day and he said, your voice, you actually sound pretty good. What? That's when I, oh no. It's about me singing. Yeah.

That early in the morning. That is the most embarrassing and least acceptable possibility that I am apparently before 10 a.m. on weekends, and I have to assume every day, singing loud enough that other people can hear me and i don't even think about it bleeding through your walls you're singing so loud and i i wasn't even it hadn't occurred to me that it was something that i was like certainly now i know i do it and like even the next day uh i had an extra early morning, so I decided to do my run in the morning instead of at night.

And I got back from my run at a little after nine and started singing when I walked in the door. I was like, oh, fuck me. I guess I do it a lot. Like not even thinking about it. Are you singing? Hey, it's Soren again. Coming to you to say what's interfering with your happiness now? It's always something, right? There's always something that feels like it's just in the way.

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be supporting this podcast. Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash QQ. That's joinhoney.com slash QQ. So you're not seeing why you play bass that's that's psychotic behavior uh are you well are you put a pin in that but okay so also so now now we're all we now sting is psychotic there's not enough bass i mean there's not enough of the rest of the music to like bridge the gap between bass and lyrics for you to just be playing bass and singing along with it. There's like, there's so few songs where bass is so prominent and forward that you'd be like, yeah, I know that song just from the bass line and you could sing along to it. I'd say there are 10 in existence. I will play music from

the speaker and play bass and sing at the same time I'm playing bass. Okay. So you're playing. That's what I was wondering. You're singing along to songs that are playing. Yes. And they can hear you over the song. And I think the thing that he is probably reacting to because I can't do a whole lot of songs. I can't sing a whole lot of songs and play at the same time.

And when I do, I'm not like, I'm not really performing it vocally. I'm just trying to like get that coordination down. So I'm assuming he's reacting to me fucking going for it with currently the Urzel Broadway cast recording of Full Monty because there are a lot of great songs to sing at 7.30 in the morning. That's rough. It's like fully humili humiliate he's super chill about it like there's no i can't think of a better person to be dealing

with this the problem of me than this guy who was like it would be totally reasonable if he was like hey can you can you can you stop singing the same songs over and over again, you fucking lunatic? And all he's done is like, please, please, sir, just a few hours on the weekends. Just before sunrise, please. The way he approached it is so nice. And like the perfect way. There's no better way to come up to somebody and be like, hey, I'm sorry for this intrusion in your life. You have accidentally been intruding on my life right here's how and like that's i would do the exact

same thing as you i would be like i um i would i would be like i'm so so sorry i'm so sorry i introduced myself into your world like this like i will do whatever i can to fix this um but boy he's he's hearing you sing i know and so you have to move he's hearing me sing super early in the morning and like his son and his partner hear me sing you talk about how you assume that everybody else gets up people walking by can hear me sing i guess i always knew that was a possibility but none of them ever talked to me about it yeah do you have any this isn't a neighbor on one side here's why i guess it it must be super weird because um sorry can you still hear me yeah i

can hear you all right can you hear me fuck siri go away no how do i make siri go away siri disappear this is insane behavior leave all the same game hey can you guys hear me yes could you hear me that whole time yes i i couldn't hear any of you and siri disappeared yeah she she wouldn't do it she just popped up and just like taking notes of everything i said i didn't understand how i summoned her i don't even know where i am anymore. I don't know. People who are walking by can hear you. And this guy, does he live on one side of you? He lives above me. Okay. So presumably a neighbor's on sides maybe could even hear you? Perhaps, yes.

You talked about how you just assume that everybody gets up at the same time as you and starts their day at the same time. I i never thought about it that explicitly i just thought like that my day starts so the day starts right and everything that i do is fair game in the same way that like like okay i i got a text from you this morning. Yeah. At 5.19 a.m. So that all tracks for me. I've done the detective work. That must have been a really urgent text. It was. It was about the podcast. I had some thoughts about both our podcast and our upcoming guest spot on Alex Schmitty's podcast.

And they couldn't wait. No, they couldn't. They had to get up. Well, to be fair, though, to you, I know that you also go to bed early. And when I come up with something or I want to talk about something at 8 o'clock at night my time, I'm like, whatever, maybe he's up. And I'll just text you. And I'm sure there are times where you're asleep and your phone lights up the room and you're like what is this okay i am asleep like never worry about texting me late because my phone goes on

has watched warrior the movie that's right that's great my phone goes on do not disturb pretty early so it doesn't do anything to ruin my life. But the singing thing, I've now told this story to friends and family. And Susan, childhood friend, beautiful voice, who I work out with every Monday now, she was like, this is great. It's always good when a person is singing in their house, in their life.

It means they're happy and they're full of love and joy, which is a fantastic perspective to have on it. also an easy one for her to have because she's got the voice of an angel people like it when she sings but i saw my brothers the other day and both of them after the story they were like i uh never do that i'm never singing i'm never singing in the house or anywhere in the world. But they have families. Yeah. It's different.

Well, are they driving? Do these brothers of you know? Do they know how to drive cars, Dan? They do. Yeah. Okay. That gene skipped me, unfortunately. That's the only opportunity in which I would ever sing in my life now. Because, yeah, at home, I'm not going to do it because my family is right there. And I feel very silly about singing along to a song at the top of my lungs with my family right there. What if they were not there?

Would you sing in your home? Yeah, I might if the moment takes me uh but even then i'm not sure that there's a song that like i really feel that i'd be listening to it in the middle of it be like i gotta get this out man and i start singing it uh but i also don't like my voice either so that might be part of it i don't think i mean i don't think i'm an unhappy person i don't love i don't love my voice either but i also i'm not it's rare that i'm like moved to burst into song i will i put on music that i know i'm going to sing to okay so when i play a playlist of like whether it's the full score of a broadway show or like i like singing these eight songs so i'm gonna put them on while i cook and sing

okay you're also playing i forgot that you're also playing music as you do this when i would play a lot more guitar sometimes when i used to play music more often i would do a lot of singing and when you're playing i'm singing at the top of my lungs when I'm playing. I'm sure that neighbors in my old house might have heard that. But it was such a rare thing that I would do, and it was certainly not in the mornings. For somebody who's so etiquette-ly minded like you, I'm really surprised that you are doing this this early in the morning. I didn't think anyone would be able to hear me. I wasn't doing it at my apartment.

Well, maybe I was. Now I don't know. My neighbors there never would have said anything. They loved me. Yeah. No, my neighbors there never would have said anything. They loved me. Yeah.

Well, I have a quick question for you that's related. Yeah. You're living in a new place right now. You know what's crazy though, real quick? Go ahead. I'm not going to completely stop singing. I think that's probably what he ultimately wanted. I think this was like the gentlest way of him letting me know

hey in case you weren't aware I can hear you every time you sing and like you know message not received buddy I will take your note and and keep it within normal business hours but I'm not gonna

I know I'm supposed to be more embarrassed of this than I am but I'm just not sorry I'm not gonna i'm i know i'm supposed to be more embarrassed of this than i am but i'm just not sorry i'm not gonna do it are you do you ever hear him upstairs that would give you some yes okay there you go then yeah i'm sure it's fine yeah and that's why like i i'm super fine with with all of his uh criticisms and asking me to stop singing. At first, my hackles went up a little bit because I thought it was just he could hear me playing music out of my speaker all the time. And that seemed like an unfair criticism to me because I can hear his TV at night when he's up much later than I am. And I don't say anything about it. And I was never going to say anything about it because I,

like I was walking into this thinking like, but the unspoken social contract is that we're both just upset sometimes. And that's okay. That's what living in a house with thin walls gets us both. Um, but that's not the situation we're dealing with. It's not one guy put out because another guy's watching TV at 1130 and the other guy's singing at six 30 in the morning.

Yeah. Oh Jesus. You do hear conversations. No. Okay. Uh, what do you mean? Well,

like, can you hear, you wouldn't be able to hear like what they're actually talking about, but would hear them no i can i can tell like oh he's on the phone right now oh god but i don't know what he's saying oh that's terrible oh i would hate that why because that means whatever you hear they can hear in your apartment which means that he can hear this podcast now or he hears that i'm doing a podcast. I don't know that he, well, I didn't even consider that. I think that you're probably, your voice would be low enough now, unless God, you can actually hear him just when he's using a normal tone. You can hear that he's definitely on the phone.

Uh, I don't know. It's a good question. Cause how would you ever have sex in that place? How would you ever do anything in your life that requires noise without thinking about the fact that there's somebody else who hears all of that? Oh, every time I have sex, I cover it up by singing. That's my trick. That's how no one knows. I hope you like Broadway, baby. I hope you like Broadway, baby. Are you familiar with the full Monty? Yeah.

Because you're going to get it in two ways. Is that a bass? Yeah, I'm trying to get better at doing a couple of things at once. Just go with it. Look, I'll raise the strap so it's not bumping into you um I have a question you're not that great of a singer or bass player yeah that should set the tone for what's going to happen next too Skillshare is an online learning community you've heard us talk about them they have been a wonderful sponsor of ours for months and we've both taken so many classes from Skillshare because

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That's one month free at Skillshare.com slash QQ. I have a question about this place that you're living now, Dan. Okay. Because I assume that this has probably changed since you moved there. And I guess it's possible you just don't even have one at all. But what is your home invasion weapon? Bat. Same as it was in my apartment. It's a bat?

Yeah. Is it a wooden bat or a steel one? It's a wooden bat. Okay. And where does it live in your place? I guess if I... Should I be worried that home invaders are going to listen and then anticipate my moves? I don't know. Yeah, I guess.

Do you want to make up a place? It lives by my door. Okay. And is it accessible when you're sleeping? No. Okay. Why not? Because my...

I don't want to go over the layout of my house now the the bedroom is very far away from the doors okay uh but i mean you think about the circumstances in which somebody might come in you're they're now between you and the bat most likely yeah that's true i gotta recalibrate and it'd be a really great place if you have to go out into the street and and kick some ass like if you see something on your window and you're like ah yeah and on your way you just grab that bat but that's what i'm anticipating but you're saying someone might break in while i'm asleep yeah i don't know why that's a fear of mine it's it's it's like statistically, very unlikely. And if it is somebody who's breaking into your house while they know you're there,

that's a bad enough situation that your bat's probably not going to help much. No, and I feel like the bedroom is upstairs. So I feel like they're going to break in, steal the TV, or whatever else they think is valuable downstairs and then leave yeah hopefully um i had a bat for a long time i did the same thing where i had a a small like a child's metal bat because i wanted something that i could swing very easily in hallways and things like that it's all ludicrous i mean none of this will ever actually happen. But first, it just gives you peace of mind in some weird way. Yeah. And I...

Go ahead. I graduated to a new tool and I wanted to talk to you about it. I don't know if I have brought it up on this podcast before. We've talked about bats as self-defense before. Yeah. And that's what I previously had. Also, the handle of it started to get really crumbly and weird because it had been sitting in a closet next to my bed for so long.

Okay. Um, but, uh, I got it. What I use now and what I have next near my bed is a ax. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think it's probably, it's more unwieldy and it probably is less dangerous even than what I previously had. But I have to think that the shock factor of somebody appearing at the door

with an axe would be enough to like that changes your mind about a lot of things. Yeah, absolutely. And so I'm hoping that's preventative in that way. I don't ever want to have to use an axe, but like the part of the reason the shining, that whole scene in the shining where he, where Jack kills a man with an axe is like, it's horrifying because it's a fucking axe. And if it's somebody who's seems like they know what they're doing with an

axe, you're like, Oh, I, I shouldn't be here. There, there are other houses where they don't have axes or swords or whatever. And like,

they'll go there um have you uh like stood in the mirror and and held the axe to to perfect how it looked looking like someone who knows how to hold an axe of course of course i have um but i have used i mean i used to chop wood when i was younger so i'm familiar with using an ax and then, but I wanted to like, make sure you could, that that was a visual trait. Yeah. So yeah. Standing there and being like, okay, there's not a lot of, when you're chopping wood, there's not like a ton of, you're not trying to intimidate the wood first. No, no. Uh, yeah. It's, you really got to like, look like you're practiced with it. And so of course I practiced with it. I also have a hatchet, but that's just part of like my go bag. I've got like

an earthquake bag and there's a hatchet in it. And I feel like that could also be really, really scary to see someone coming, but in the dark, maybe it wouldn't even register as much as an ax, like an ax, like you can't miss.'t miss ax is so nuts yeah it's a ludicrous thing to care to have especially with my children who are like right why is there that's what if i broke into your house driving like he just had an ax loose he's got two kids and a cat sometimes yeah it's been a problem to have an ax um there's a high enough place where I could keep it now that's also very within the bedroom that I'm like, okay, well, this is it.

This is where it lives now. But yeah, I think the only other, I considered for a little while, I was like, what about a sword? Or like, but I think that that's, you're coming around the other side in that case because there are a lot of people who collect swords who I would gladly break into their house

my dad oh you can't hurt me for the longest time my dad uh and he like knew actual karate and trained with different weapons and everything um he for almost my entire childhood had wooden nunchucks in his car. Whoa! Like, wouldn't, like, clearly used nunchucks, weathered, capable nunchucks. And I was always, like, praying someone would rear-end him and get mad and get out of the car, just so my dad could walk out with nunchucks. And like, again, my dad could could use them But I think he also knows He would never have to because if you're the same thing as

You wanting to be seen with an axe if someone gets out of the car with nunchucks you're like fuck never mind never mind Yeah, it's fine. I don't want it that guy has nunchucks. That's nuts He's he wouldn't have those if he didn't know how to use them. He's fuck me up with those nunchucks. I gotta go You just have to pick a weapon that's startling enough. Yeah, that's like like oh those if he didn't know how to use them he's gonna me up with those nunchucks i gotta go you just have to pick a weapon that's startling enough yeah that's people are like oh to calmly emerge from a plymouth voyager twirling your nunchuck around it's like never he wants it more than i do never mind it's fine doing that thing where it's like wrapped over your shoulder and you're grabbing it under your armpit with the other hand i feel like oh no yeah like somebody getting out of their car with size you'd be like oh fuck i don't even know how this works he didn't he had that in the front he didn't go to the go to the

trunk for that he had that that's where i keep my chapstick he had nunchucks fuck never mind i'm going home there was i would have to open my trunk and like move the volleyball and see if i had a tire iron and he's already like closing the gap between us with his nunchucks i gotta go uh hypothetically if you had your license and you could drive would you have something in your vehicle as protection i have many weapons in my vehicle you have a lot you have more weapons in your vehicle than in your place yes yeah that's where you think you're gonna need it yeah and i have um i also have a decoy wallet and i don't know if that's helpful or not wow if someone like stops me and uh asks for my wallet i can

physically hand them something that looks like it has a bunch of cards in it and then and then they will hopefully go on their way are you did you move to haiti where are you gonna need all this stuff i had this that's what's interesting i've i've had this forever and i'm knocking on wood and crossing my fingers and and doing all the superstitious stuff when i say the following i don't think i'm gonna need jack shit here because the thing about this wonderful peaceful little quiet beach town is i'm on next door every day and it's not it's not like a a crime heavy area and it's not a sophisticated crime heavy area also there are two things that come up on next door a lot because like everybody who lives here i'm the youngest person here by uh three or four generations it's it's it's really my dream i'm very happy here and the complaints on next door you'll see like scam alert don't get taken

in by this scam yeah someone's been going around calling landlines, saying they're from the electric company. They wanna come into your house and take your wires. I'm like, this doesn't apply to me. Not one single bit of this sentence is a real concern. I could see you guys all really reacting to it strongly. Like this is a fear that someone is gonna pretend to be the electric company, call your landline, and then come in and take your wires.

Yeah. You have every right to be scared of that. I'm not concerned. That's one of the crimes is wire theft from smooth-talking con men. Come to your house and steal all the copper. That's great. From, I have to assume, like a 70-year-old burglar. A guy who still thinks that that's like a good yeah a

good way to make money and the other thing I hear because this is such a a quiet and peaceful town you do hear about uh I want to say car break-ins a lot but it's specifically the things people warn you about on next door is like there was another break-in last night at the car, and I caught it on video. Make sure you lock your cars. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking... Of course I lock my cars. Every car break-in that happens in this neighborhood

is people leaving their cars unlocked at night. Yeah. All the time. And I don't know... That's happening in our house, too. I don't... the time and i don't know in our house too i don't i don't i maybe it's it's 15 years of hardened living in manhattan and los angeles but i feel like even in the suburbs before that you wouldn't leave your cars unlocked and that's what everyone around here does and like the video

someone posted was like this happened last night just outside my house it's a black and white video of a guy checking the doors of a car they're unlocked so he gets in the car and like fills a cup up with change that he finds in the car and then like walks away i'm like all right i mean barely a crime yeah it seems like that guy was maybe doing laundry and took a shot, but you had $1.50 and quarters in your car and lucked out. Yeah. If he's taking that risk for some nickels, then he needs those nickels more than you do. The same thing happens in our neighborhood. There's break-ins in cars all the time. When I say break-ins, somebody who's just at four in the morning walking down the street trying all the doors getting one that opens taking out the stuff we had our neighbor's car get broken

into that way because they left their car open i'm with you crazy crazy every single night before i go to bed when i set the alarm on the house i also go to the the doors and just i mean the the key fobs and i just make sure both cars are locked yeah it's so nuts that i have that my car has like 900 hidden weapons and a decoy wallet and the most sophisticated criminals around here are like ah locked beaten by the best again shucks oh the windows are all the way up ah he's always two steps ahead of us fucking fort knox um yeah i they they not only did they get their car broken into but they got in the next morning and knew that had been broken into because the glove box was shut but the stuff from the glove box

was laid out neatly on the passenger seat so somebody went through the glove box it was like okay here's all their business cards don't need those here's the red license registration okay registration in proof of insurance here we go twenty dollars and this is like took that proof of insurance. Here we go. $20. And just took that. But laid everything else out. And it's like the nicest criminals. Yeah.

And I gotta think somehow this must be lucrative for them. They wouldn't keep doing it. They're just walking the streets and being like, okay, let's just find a car that's open and see if we can make $27 tonight. Right. Because the fear is always that someone's going to steal your car and then you don't have a car.

Or they do crimes with your car or something. But per next door, it's always like, someone broke into our car last night. I had gifts for my son and he took them. I'm like, well, that's pretty adorable. What a win for this guy. So much of Rap's presence. It would be crazy if this car was unlocked it is all

right but also just don't leave stuff like that in your car overnight yeah like the lessons learned that point even on next door you don't have to have it happen to you you see happen to one person and you know oh i don't do that yeah i the same way when you like go to out camping and stuff and you know there are bears around don't fucking leave food in your car you know that the bear is going to be tempted you know that these burglars are going to be tempted just don't do it and you're going to be fine it's weird that i feel like the alien because i always lock my my car and like the thought had never occurred to me to do anything different. Cause everyone else on next door is like, ah, the same thing happened to me last week.

Someone broke into my open car and took my juice and coins. Well, someone posting on next door is like, everyone be afraid of this crime. Don't fall asleep outside your home with your mouth open. People are going to do stuff to you. They're going to pour crickets in there. I, I saw, asleep outside your home with your mouth open people are gonna do stuff to you they're gonna pour crickets in there i i saw i keep a a knife in my glove box but i found that it's at the very

beginning i thought it was for a just in case scenario but have since then found that it's really convenient to have a knife in your glove box because I constantly need a knife, like open packages and things like that. Yeah. Then I'm pulling off people's doorsteps. But I, I, before I had the knife in there and the reason that I even put one in there in the first place was it's like a folding knife, but it's, I don't know, like maybe six inches in total. So like three inches of blade and three inches of, of hilt. And the reason that I got it was that I was in a jack in the box parking lot,

not the drive-through. And so I'm pinned in by other cars, just waiting to get to the window. And I see this guy across the street. Um, and he's, there's like a tussle, a little bit of a tussle at a gas station. And this guy has gotten into another man's car as he's like pumping gas. And so this guy throws him out of his car and just keeps pumping his gas like, well, that's taken care of. And so this crazy man who's shirtless starts like, anyone who will give him the time of day, he's like looking at him and he's gonna, he's got some shit for them.

He wants to like dish something. And so he starts crossing the street because he's bored at the gas station. And we're, I'm just locked in. And I'm like, okay. And he walks right up to my car and I'm not looking at him or anything. I'm just locked in. And I'm like, okay. And he walks right up to my car and, uh, I'm not looking at him or anything. I'm just looking straight ahead, but not in that, like, Oh my God, Oh my God way. But in like a, I'm an actor. I can do this. I just pretend that

I've got other things going on. And he tries to get in my car immediately starts like rattling the door handle. And because my car's in drive and it's was made after 2008 it locks while it's in drive and so he can't get in and so i look over at him and he goes open the door and all i did was very slowly shake my head no and he moved on that was enough and he went to the car in front of me and like would not leave them alone alone. Like was all over their car, all over it. So I thought like, what was it that he, that I just did that was the right thing to do? Like, I kept replaying it thinking there was something about the way that I just slowly said to him, no, that suggested to him, I, this is the wrong car. Yeah. And it could have been, you know, surely that was something going on with him that like, uh,

my aura when he was on amphetamines look different than theirs or something. But like, I have to think that there was some element there that it was like, he's too calm. Uh, this is, there's something in that car that I don't want to deal with. Yeah. And moved on. And I was like, how do I replicate that? I want to distill that and drink it. Or maybe the people in front of you were just so terrible where he's like open the door and they're like maybe what's in it for us yeah how do i know you're not going to do crimes

you don't open the door let me discuss it with my family uh anyway while he was doing that with the car in front of us it was clear that car wasn't going anywhere and everyone else started kind of backing out and i was like well i will do that as well and so i had ordered food that i never got and that that's like not finishing a yawn or a sneeze you're just like you ordered it and you're like expecting it right and like you're still hungry yeah i know i had to go to a del taco i want del taco anyway i would clearly i'm not over it i'd kill for some del taco right now oh that's right you don't have del taco we don't have it out here oh man what is your what is your uh what's the word not anagram an analog analog no what is your what's your equivalent we have um

i guess the closest thing is like taco bell oh that's a bummer yeah but it's not i want that del taco i want a burrito with french fries in it yeah and not even every taco bell is back on having potatoes in their burritos now i mean you can get a potato taco at taco bell you can yeah it's been it's not the same though no it's been so long since I've gotten fast food. And I say that I like, I would have more pride about saying that if I wasn't so certain that like it's, it's out of my control, I'm going to have fast food sometime soon. Yeah.

So that's been by design that you haven't been eating it. Yeah. How's your, I mean, you're still running a lot and you're still working out every single day and you're, and now you're eating really well. Are you still seeing changes in your body? Yeah. I'm just, I'm, I, uh, I, I am, I'm trying to get, um, more definition, which is like a vulnerable thing to admit on a podcast. I was like, oh, I just like to look better

and like be strong at the beach, you know? Yeah. So I'm still working on that. And that's kind of slow going. I might need to just change the kind of exercising that I've been doing. It sucks when my goal for so long was to just like lose weight and feel better. And everything I was doing was contributing to that. If you were

unhealthy for a while and then suddenly you're running every day and exercising a lot and eating better and drinking a ton of water, then you're the, the improvements you see just seem to like come in leaps and bounds. And now everything, A, maintaining where I'm at right now at this age requires a lot of work and any improvements from here also requires a lot of work and different work and, and research that I need to just do. just do. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy how much harder it gets to do anything, like make any sort of changes in your body than when you were younger, where you were just, you were a garbage disposal and your body just formed into like that of a young 18 buck. It was no problem. I had a demoralizing moment the other day. And I know we talk about workouts and stuff a lot on this podcast, but just fucking bear with me, please, everybody. I had a moment the other day where I know you guys mostly tune in to hear about my singing. I had a moment the other day where I was like, OK, well, I've been working out pretty regularly.

I've been doing a lot of cardio, like running to the gym, basically, and that we're biking to the gym and biking back so like picking up a lot of mileage each week as well in addition to a workout and then also eating really well and it was like a really demoralizing eating well where i was eating kale stems essentially i was going to whole foods and if you've not been to a whole food cell bar in a while those have fallen off i don't know if the pandemic did it or what, but yeah, we used to go there for work. Remember like at work every once in a while, and like they'd have great stuff, all kinds of great options. Now it's, you get your, your luxuries there, like shredded cabbage, shredded carrots, and then three different dressings you can choose from. Uh, it's rough. And sometimes they have pre-made salads that are

just not like in a package or anything like that. They just do a big batch of this kale and sweet potato salad with this different kind of dressing. And so I was getting that and they're not careful with their kale there. They're not peeling it, massaging it or anything like that. It's just the, it's like eating the bark of a tree because it's thick, thick, stiff leaves and the stock is right there on it. And it was rough.

It was a, it was a tough, tough week or so. And I was like, starting to see some changes too, because I had been doing it for, I'd been working out long enough and I was getting excited about that. And then happened to see a picture of myself where I was sitting away from the camera facing the other direction and sitting on the ground facing the other direction and I like I was so crestfallen looking at my own back looking at my lower back and the way that my shirt was stretched across it and the way that it was like the same size as my upper back. I was just like, well, I haven't had this viewpoint in forever with this whole part of me that I forgot to clean out. Uh, and,

and now I'm like obsessed with it now. That's all I can think about. It's like, yeah, okay. The front looks fine, but what about this back here? What are you doing for that? Um, yeah, okay, the front looks fine, but what about this back here? What are you doing for that? So it's those moments where you think you're much closer than you are to where you want to be. And then you catch a glimpse of like how far across the river it actually is. Right. And also at our age, my main priority, like I say, I want definition. That's like a side goal.

my main priority, like I say, I want definition. That's like a side goal. My main thing is I want to exercise in a way where I won't hurt myself forever. And like, just like, what are some workouts I could do to just like not be bedridden in tremendous pain? Like it's all about safety and, and having some kind of good form for myself at this point, which is, uh, it's not like a, a fun way to think about exercising. No, but you're zeroing in on a routine that's tenable that like could last you forever. And you're, it wouldn't drive you crazy. It wouldn't make you

miserable every single time you have to start it. It's just something that's like, okay, I've landed on a situation where I know it's going to take this long, this much of my day and I'm fine with that. Yeah. That's hard thing to find. I need to, one of the things I'm finding trying to like put together a workout plan. Cause that's another thing I, I've, I've gone from like a child's idea to going to the gym where it's just like, I'm going to do whatever I feel like. And, and like, I feel like doing arms today.

So I do like some vague amount of arm exercises now it's like let me have some kind of routine so i'm hitting all the muscle groups i'm supposed to hit doing them in some kind of order that makes sense and resting when i'm supposed to rest and um when i'm even uh men's health a magazine and like fitness app that i i love and trust uh it's just it's so goddamn humiliating to be a guy sometimes when when you see what what the world thinks it needs to do to cater to you where like i found a workout that i like but it's called like the superhero shred workout it's like you don't just just give just call it like adult man workout like I don't I don't need to be tricked into thinking

I'm gonna I'm gonna be Chris Pratt and Guardians or anything like that like I don't know there's always some kind of gimmick attached to it and that makes me feel infantilized especially when it works when they're like this is what the guy does to train Paul Rudd for Ant-Man I mean that is the result I want but like stop

stop using Marvel in all of the promotional materials for this exercise please alright yeah I do really appreciate that Mac from Always Sunny in Philadelphia did one of those. Yeah. And he was like, hey, if you want to be able to work out or if you want to be shredded like me, here's how to do it. Quit your job. This is all you're going to be doing all day long. Right. You have millions of dollars saved up.

Have lots of money, have no fun, and just do this. And have this just be the thing that you do. And then you too can look like one of these people. Well, I don't think I want to do another question here. Good. We've done enough. We asked so many questions in this episode. We did.

I think we did a good job. Yeah. So I'm just did a good job. Yeah. So I'm just going to end it. Cool. I'm going to tell you where you can follow us if you want to, or you can speak to us. Oh, there's going to be a twist coming. Go ahead. You can follow us at DOB underscore Inc on Twitter.

No, you can't. My account's deactivated, you son of a bitch. Wait a second. You didn't just protect it. You deactivated it? It's gone. I got this tremendous sense of loneliness just now. Like I thought I had this fleet with me and it's everybody.

I was just alone on a boat. and it's on everybody's i was just alone on a boat it's the way deactivation works is you have 30 days to to go back and then you can have like all of your followers and all of your content if you don't do anything within 30 days then it gets as permanently deleted as anything gets on the internet these days um so i still could just, like, get the itch and start back on Twitter, but it's been 24 hours so far, and my life's not worse. No, how are you following the news of Ukraine?

I work for a political comedy website. We talk about it from time to time. Oh, fuck, yeah, you don't need Twitter. All right. You can follow me then. Follow me. Soren underscore LTD. Did I say I work for a political comedy website?

Oh, I don't know. You mean YouTube? I think you should. It doesn't't matter i hope i said website i hope it said show and not website fuck that's that doesn't sound great you could follow a quick question at qq underscore soren and dan you can message them i guess i think the replies are open there um and now oh it's actually great news for me that daniel is off of Twitter because I won't get notifications anymore from people saying like, hey, could you tell Dan to unblock me? You can follow our email, qqwithsornanddaniel at gmail.com. And we have a producer and a sound engineer and an editor who's just outstanding at his job. And we've loved him all along.

I know you're just like uh like vamping and filling space and time with words but i really liked that you threw in and we've loved him all along that is such a clear stretch for time he's loved him all it means nothing he's great i'm uh i'm i'm i'm so proud of him my my strong and brilliant boy my heart heart goes out to him yeah and and in times like these to see someone of such conviction. Anyways, Gabe Harder, also we're on Patreon and we're at Patreon slash quick question. If you do donate to our Patreon, then you are privy to some extra content that we do occasionally where we answer questions from you, the listeners. So check that out.

And that's it. Goodbye.