Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Soren And Daniel, Co-Parenting | Ep. 305

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

Daniel's going to be a dad, and as you can guess he's being very normal about the whole thing, which means Soren gets to be the wise elder dispensing hard-earned advice about nap discipline, phantom drowning babies, and the forbidden art of sleeping anywhere.Thanks to ASPCA Pet Health Insurance for sponsoring this episode. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.Follow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts

I've got a quick, quick question for you all right. I want to hear your thoughts on to know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you all right. The answer's not important. I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite? Who did you get? When do I be?

Remember? What's it out there? Where did all that? Go to eat on. Oh, forget it. I saw a movie Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're going to find it

I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here It's the podcast It's quick question We're Soren and Daniel But you knew that I haven't even looked at my frame today Soren, how are you doing on this podcast day? Come on, man.

Don't, don't. Just do the podcast. I'm irritable today. Just do it. Don't put a hat on it. No, it's fucking, I'm going to hang a lantern here because it was a pretty good bit. It was a pretty good bit for you to be looking the way you're looking. And then to say, I haven't even looked at the frame.

Thanks to ASPCA pet insurance for supporting quick question. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com slash question. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Daniel, you go for runs right before this, every single time, right?

I assume you don't just, this isn't you and your everyday life. That's correct. Okay. Because I can't, I can't do any work until the podcast is done for the day. We record 12.30 in the afternoon, my time. And I can't get, I can't get my brain in a place where it's primed to, like, work without interruption. If I know I have this thing coming up. just I do a lot of errands and I do my runs before the podcast.

And sometimes you get to think about your podcast before you get here. That's, that's really nice. I did not today. You get to plan. You get to plan so that I don't have. I didn't, though. And I'm telling you I didn't. And I'm asking you to be nice to me.

All right. I vine. Why don't I, um, why don't I carry us today? How would that be? That would be such a refreshing change of pace. Okay. Daniel quick question

quick question let me see you sleep I want to tell you that I before we started up until about five minutes ago I was asleep for real that's real yeah

because I will and maybe you remember this from when we would shoot after hours and stuff like that or we would shoot sketches I'm an outstanding sleeper. Yeah. But that's not, it doesn't just like, it's not like something you're just like born with.

Like something you got to work towards. And it's something that has to be super important to you. And I would say above all, like more than food, more than anything, sleep is the most important thing to me. Like, and I will get it in bits and pieces wherever I can. When I heard on reply all that Alex was, as a teenager, would lie down in his shower or sit down in his shower to catch a few extra wings. I was like, oh, that's smartish, right?

that down. Maybe I could get some more sleep in the shower. And I can do it as long as I can be sitting down. Sitting down is okay, but like lying down, I can sleep anywhere. When we would get on set, I would take, as soon as I would get there or I'd go find a furniture pad, I would take it to some remote spot like I scared cat would. And I would tell only the AD where I was going be and I was like when you need me it will be here asleep and I would lie down on my back in my costume and I would just go to sleep I am a terrible sleeper I used to be great I used to have no problem sleeping through the night and I would get up early with energy and like let's start the day and then I started to get worse at that but one thing I always had was I could fall asleep

very easily when it was bedtime I'm not a napper I can never I could never figure out the science of napping and falling asleep anywhere. But like it's nighttime I'm ready for bed and I'm reliably out and then I started getting up a few times in the middle of the night due to madness. And now lately I'm even losing the one skill that I had, the one reliable, at least I could fall asleep around the same time every night. Even that has left me. And like last night. Lately, my wife's been going to sleep on the couch at like 8.30. I remember. Yeah, that's great. I've been watching whatever I want to watch. And it's usually like an hour of Michael Clayton here and there. And then I fall asleep too and then it's bedtime. And last night I was just watching

and suddenly it's after one o'clock in the morning. And I haven't stayed up after one since I don't, I mean, since like the Emmys maybe when I'm in a different time zone. And seeing it be 1 o'clock in the morning and I'm not tired. I was like, we should move to bed and because soon it's morning. And then I just sat in bed for a long time, just not sleeping. I don't know what's happening. Did you? Yeah, but you didn't have.

So like, let's talk about when cracked was crumbling and like everyone's jobs were on the line and everything. Did you have trouble falling asleep then? um i don't could you just go right to bed okay so it didn't seem like it was an issue yeah i i mean ordinarily it's like there's things going on your life are like i have to account for every inevitability here and i haven't done all of those and there might still be angles that i can be attacked from and i'm not thinking of them and i have to sit here in bed and pretend that

i can see every single angle it's often a stress thing i would i would wake up uh like we were getting close to the wedding and i was worried about missing something something falling apart before the wedding um if this is just if i'm or if i have like a deadline like a work deadline or like when i'm i'm playing one of the the concerts that i do a couple of times a year with my brother and sister-in-law's music school i will have a sleepless night for that but i can't point to to what is the big looming deadline uh in my immediate future well you're having a child yeah but that's so far away i don't know man it's one of those things where you're like i got to start i have to plan for everything now and years and you'll realize with well two things one when

you're having a kid your brain will go insane because you don't know what's a threat or what's not and you don't know like what's what you should be preparing for and what you shouldn't so it's like i'll do everything just like with your house you're like well just do it all um surely like i know most people won't do this and it's not good for anyone but i've done it all before i'll just do it all again so you'll do that i think we're being remarkably chill about baby stuff because well we're not but but we like to tell people that we're being chill about it because we've talked to a lot of folks about what we need and what we should do and we are the broad consensus is that there is no real consensus about the preparation

specifically because everyone has everyone has different answers and different things that they swear by and the only thing that's consistent is like you will figure it out your people who are thoughtful and thinking about this so you will figure it out you're going to find the thing that works for you my friend just had a baby and i was like how's it going and they said we bought 12 pacifiers and the baby only likes one and that kind is discontinued it's like okay so no matter what you plan for there's going to be these things and that was that's been very freeing for both of us that it's just like great we are going to learn on the job we'll over prepare and work there's going to be more things that we have that we don't need than the opposite. And we feel decently okay about that.

And I was texting co-worker Joanne, a friend of the show. And I was like, real quick, while I got you, which of these strollers do you recommend? And she was like, you're so far away from needing a stroller right now. Yeah. Yeah. I think that like type A level of play. that we're doing has it probably makes us seem stressed when you hear us talk about it but the the planning is the thing that makes us feel less stressed okay yeah so wrong sword it's not the baby I got it under control planning is the so I I mean just like give you a sense of how your brain breaks when you have a child I would wake up in the middle of the night that we did not co-sleep this baby didn't sleep in the bed with us

but when I had my son, my first child, I would wake up in the middle of night thinking that he had fallen off the bed and that he was drowning and that we had had a flood and that he was drowning. And so we were on the second story. He's never lived in a house

where we only had one. And so it was a complete statistical impossibility but still every single night and I would reach for him and I would startle Colleen because I'd grab and I'd grab her. And in the night in my tired state I would have a hard time telling you

difference between her and him so like i would if i she moved it all i would check on her and like suit her and she's like he's not here that's not the thing you want to hear is it um so your your brain will break now i know the other thing that i want to say about it was that the fact that this is why i'm asking about sleep too is that if you don't know how to nap i can't begin to tell you how fucked you are you're either going to going to have to learn really quickly or you're going to be a torture victim yeah yeah i see that i know i have a tendency to convince myself that i can do it all and historically i sure have done a lot and it has worked out for me but i i also i can see myself being a um uh uh

a newspaper, you know, a statistic of drove off a cliff trying to get diapers because he hadn't slept in 48 hours kind of thing. And I don't want to be that. I don't want to be, I don't want to completely lose my mind. So I know I need to learn how to nap. And I will do that later. When the time comes. Yeah.

So let me see. I was just, I was a good napper in college and then I lost it for a long time. and when I had a kid, like, because I'd had the experience previously, I was like, you lost it, like, because why would you need it? You were working a full-time job. There's no, no reason. And like, what were my other obligations? Like, what was I also? You all know, by now, I love my pet dog, Jackson. I've had him for 13 years. He's a good little boy, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. Case in point, I took him to the vet yesterday because he was acting weird. He was not acting bad and he was eating his food and doing his normal

bathroom things. But I just thought there was something a little bit off about him. So I took him to the vet to get him all checked out. That's the kind of love I have for Jackson, checking him out in ways that I have never investigated myself because he is just that important to me. Life with a pet is full of surprises, a chewed-up sock, a spur-the-moment adventure, an unexpected vet bill. That's why ASPCA pet health insurance is worth checking out. Their plans are flexible, easy to customize, and help you stay prepared for whatever your dog or cat gets into, even if they're getting weird. And the best part, there's a special perk for signing up. When you enroll in ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card.

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This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Com. or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurance. It's not engaged in the business of insurance. I used to be a great napper. Lost it. And then you're out for a season.

You're never the same. And then I started to pick it up again with kids. And now I'm excellent again. Like now I'm at a point where I can, I will take my kids to school and then go right back to sleep. So I'll get up for like an hour and a half. And to be up for an hour and a half After you're sleeping a regular sleep Like that no one should be able to go back to sleep

But I gotta tell you Dan I gotta brag here for a second I can do it I can do it man I go right back into bed I cuddle up I get my right position And I can go right back to sleep But that's

I mean you'll get there You'll get there buddy Yeah I think Science and my body will will force it to me Yeah, you might. It might. I mean, there's just, I don't know, man. This is unsustainable. If I'm, if the thing that's keeping me up is subconscious baby stress, we're still five months out. I need, I'm going to need to sleep. Yeah. For like Christmas, you know, like I'm going to need a night's sleep at some point. So either it's not the baby thing and I figure out what it is and I crush it or I reprogram. my brain in another way because I just I just need need the sleep buddy which one of you out

of you and Shay which one of you is the light sleeper and which one of you is a heavy sleeper um I guess I'm well uh why don't you define those for me okay if there's a heavy night who's heavy sleeper really jumps up and here's okay yeah that would be Shea. Okay. I can sleep through. If I'm asleep, I can sleep through quite a bit. My problem is waking up and not for noises in the night, just like waking up because

Yeah, something in your brain. Yeah. Noises in your brain. Right. Yeah. I'm going to tell you now, and this isn't like, it's not good news, you will never sleep that way again in your entire life. You're never going to have a heavy sleep where nothing wakes you up.

that's fine I can because I will need to be up to protect the baby well it just when you be your choice like you will just you hear a noise

in the night you hear a cough and you're like you will you wake up immediately and there might be like moments of deep sleep in your again

but you will never have like a full night even when you go to hotels and stuff and you're not with your family it doesn't just turn off you'll never you'll never not have it

it's just how it is can we talk about some other baby stuff because I'm curious you I remember when you were pregnant with Ronan with your with your son yeah that you were were really big on staying on top of information developmental information and you would be the one bringing the information to your wife our baby is to live is developing fingernails right now like whatever was going on inside the womb. You knew.

And I'm curious if that was from books or and you're, this isn't to say that you're much, much older than me. It's only to say the technology goes faster. Were there a lot of pregnancy tracking apps back when you guys were having babies? Because there's a million of them now. And I don't know how new it is. They were. There were a lot of pregnancy tracking apps.

But I used them for like two days. and I preferred the books. It turned out. It was like an advent calendar. Like an advent calendar in your phone, it's just not as fun to, like, crack open an app and see, like, what's going on. Like, I wanted the physical thing of like,

oh, it's a new week. Let's open the Mayo Clinic book. Oh, fuck. It's the size of a mango that has eyelids now. Like, that kind of stuff was so exciting to me. Counterpoint, here is what's fun about having a couple with two type A people and having all of the apps is that you wake up, and your Saturday ritual is like, all right, we're at week 19.

This app says it's the size of a cucumber. This app says it's the size of a granola parfe. This app says it's the size of toast, but not bread. I'm excited, actually, that you're looking through multiple apps and multiple different places where you're getting this information because every single one of these will also have like a dad section of like, because there's a lot of preparation in it too. It's giving you some of the fun information.

what's happening in the womb but then it's also like here are things you might be experiencing during this time here are things here are some pains you might be having or here are things like you might be bleeding your hair might be falling out like you've been cursed by a witch like there's lots of different crazy shit that happens but for the men I was always blown away by how low the bar was it's awesome it's like okay what you're gonna notice is that your wife Tommy's gonna start getting rounder that's not food you might find you yourself jealous that the wife is only thinking about the baby. That's normal. And I'm reading this and like, that's fucking sucks. I wouldn't do that. That's awful. Who's this for? Yeah. The bar is so

miserably low for men in these books that it's like there's no accountability. And to read it, you start feeling like a pretty good dad already. I feel I feel awesome. I mean, the expectant father, which I'm pacing out to read it that every chapter, it's broken down by months. So I am, I am reading it when we're in a new month and it's broken down with like here is what is going on with your baby right now here is what might be going on with your partner physically here's what might be going on with with them emotionally here is what might be going on with you and that's like the bulk of the of the book because it's for dads and uh some of it's uh spot on it was very helpful and relatable a lot of it in the beginning is just like first of all brother you bought a book man

that's fucking awesome you are light years ahead of the competition look at you reading a book that's crazy you don't even need to keep reading just the idea that like this will sit on your shelf that's huge father of the year material yeah um stevie stop right here the other the strange thing about the book because i i i know from from sharing this journey with my wife that like everything is here's how your your diet needs to change for two here's what you'd need to be having more of to for a healthy baby and here are some exercises that you can do to make pregnancy go a little bit better here are some different uh oils and moisturizers that you will put on yourself here's all this these stretches like a million things that you have to change

and there's just not that for the men and there are like full chapters there's a whole chapter in this um month by month expectant father book where it's clear that the authors don't have anything new to say about what might change for me emotionally. So I swear to God, the chapter is just like, that's as good at times as any to start thinking about finances and saving for, here's what a 450 is. Here's, you know, you can put some money in this kind of account. And even if they don't use it for education because of this new law,

they can use it for this. And it's truly just like a dry explanation of savings accounts and college savings for kids. Because there's nothing else going on for me. If you want a chance to really spin out on this pregnancy, you should start researching how to deliver the baby yourself. Like not in like an intentional way, but like if there's an emergency situation where you have to do it. Because that was like I hung out in that section of the internet for so long.

Because I was, you know, it's an inevitability where I was like, oh, this is a possibility that could happen. So I was like, I will learn everything I can about. I will be a doctor in five weeks. I feel like that that kind of book won't be as nice to me as the other books. I feel like that book is going to be like, look live, numnuts, you've got to fucking be ready to catch this baby. It's not even catching.

Like there's like, these have to like, where you put pressure with your hand and like also like where you like you pull, like you're getting like head and then you have to get shoulder by shoulder. You have to turn the head in a certain direction as it's coming out. Like there's a lot to it that has really, really stuck with me because I was, I was. was just memorizing these books and these internet articles um yeah so if you would like an opportunity to really to really get scared about something you should do that sure um there's other things like oh sorry go ahead we're on hiatus for a couple weeks in between seasons so maybe around

christmas time new years oh yeah good time around my birthday time for neuroses there's also uh if you you can also get into all the stuff on like stuff that causes um premature premature birth like there's certain things that can send a woman into labor that you didn't anticipate one of them being foot massages i heard that did i hear that did i hear that from you at dinner or did i did i come across that i don't know man because i have too much unsupervised time yeah there's like it you can you can induce through um walking too much or or induced through like certain pressure points on the feet there's certain types of teas that can induce like there's a lot of stuff that you're like, oh, I didn't realize this made the baby pop out.

Okay. Okay, I will back up. There's so many, I'm going to one day do an Instagram post of all of the dumb questions that I have sincerely Googled about what pregnant women can do because there, I do have a lot of like dumb, like hot dogs. I didn't know it was frowned upon for pregnant women to have hot dogs. Is it the nitrates? What is that all about?

Yeah. Okay. But then some people, like a lot of these pregnancy books, there were some people who, we'll say, yeah, but we had hot dogs throughout our pregnancy and it was fine. Like there's every day, one hot dog a day. The expectant father, the one that I swear by so far, it was like our first baby, our doctor said, have as much sushi as you want. I'm a doctor and I had sushi my entire pregnancy and it was fine.

So we ate sushi and our baby was fine. Our second doctor was like, no sushi whatsoever. So it just seems like there's a lot of the stuff has no consensus on. but it was when we had one of our appointments with one of her actual doctors and I have my notebook of questions that I'm too bashful to ask and I was like hey I got some I got a couple of dumb questions I hope I hope that's okay and she was like yeah first of all you don't put your pregnant wife in a hammock and I was like oh that's refreshing because that wasn't even on my list but now that I know how dumb the questions can be can my wife zip

line she was like no she can't zip line a great thing to for a doctor to do to like a doctor be like you're like I have some questions I want to ask like okay but let me get this one off the table your your pregnant wife is not allowed to be in the back of a dump truck you can be like oh okay this is great this is good news all right I have a lot worse my questions are all better than that one it's a sincerely good trick to start off that way he's like look a lot of people ask this question don't feel embarrassed and then they ask something dumber than you would ask it's like Oh, God. Thank you.

That did open the doors for me to can my wife zip line and can I electrocute my wife? Yeah, those are nice ones. Two questions that, like, as I'm asking the doctor, Shay is looking at me like, we have, honey, we didn't discuss that. What are you talking about? You should have run these past me first. We don't need a third party to solve this. Were these real questions?

Did you ask if your wife to be electrocuted? These were, so we are doing this, the fall road trip for our anniversary, and there happens to be a really big zip line through one of these parks up the East Coast that we were thinking of doing, but I wanted us to check if pregnant women can zip line. You can't even lie on their stomachs. You're not allowed to zip line. I know. Well, it's closed for the season soaring, so it didn't matter.

Who looks stupid now? And then how did electrocution? Were you going to do a tough mutter with her? I have this, I always forget what it's called, but it's a device for like muscle pain where you like hook up these little electrodes to, for me, it's my shoulder meat and I can send little shocks every once in a while. It makes a muscle, like the muscle tense. Yeah, yeah.

And it feels great. It's good after just like sorenness from a tough workout or anything like that. and I know that she is going to be having a lot of soreness because she's carrying around a whole person that she's cooking up in her body and I'm trying to think of every which way I can to make things more comfortable and I can't rub her feet

lest the baby shoots out from pleasure so I'm just trying to see what other cards are on the table and no I'm not supposed to electrocute pregnant women yeah I don't think you are although I don't know like shoulders and stuff doesn't it's so far away from the baby how can that possibly matter that's what i thought too and with the zip line you're so high up the baby's afraid of heights they're not going to come out we're not worried about soren i should have you first what if they crawl up higher though like what if they're scared

enough that they're like they're like they're in the neck yeah um yeah there's a lot of things that you learn that you're not supposed to do the diet stuff is all like you're right there's not there's not like a broad consensus on it i guess like mostly they're saying stay away from lunch meats just because of the possibility of a bacteria but not because like lunch meats are bad and like sushi same thing and the thing that i don't understand about lunch meats and uh we googled around about this but there's like there was a recipe we found that was like if you want an italian sub uh here's what you do you get your meats and then you heat them up to a certain temperature and then you should be good to go oh yeah if we heat up the lunch

meats and then put them back in the fridge or is it does the does the poison come back in the fridge or like do we heat it up once no i think it's listera so bacteria that lands on the like finds its way onto the um meat and then will proliferate there so i think that it listera is kind of everywhere but it lives on lunch me for whatever reason so i think it would probably there's a chance it would come back on there you have to eat it up and then eat it right away do you need to cook it and and eat it okay that's fine here's a surprising thing that you won't have to deal with yet and you'll forget by the time it happens but during uh breastfeeding and nursing um you're also saving milk right so you're like one of the things you're doing is just like planning ahead pumping

and then freezing that milk writing dates on it or whatever and then using that milk specific women have an enzyme in their body that when you freeze that milk something happens as a chemical reaction and the milk ends up tasting like aluminum or like like metal like nickels okay and so the baby won't drink it like you you can ask you can have saved all of this milk and the baby is just like this sucks and you're like oh you're right this sucks um and you can kind of like smell it even and if that is the case then what you have to do this like every single time you pump you have to then take that milk put it on the stove top don't boil it but you scald it and scalding milk just means like you get that foam on the top then you turn it off you let it cool and then you put it in the back but like things like who the fuck no one ever every taught you no matter how many classes you take no matter what you do no one's teaching you that yeah i was really worried that you're going to have to dump it completely and it would be just as frustrating but even more um personally offensive as when i spend all this time growing eggplants in my garden and then i get like a bitter batch where i was like but i spent all this

fucking time on it you will and now i got to dump this one because it's a it's a burn batch we had to well we ended up donating it because Sometimes maybe they'll be babies that will drink it. But we put together a whole stockpile of milk that we couldn't use because we didn't know this yet. And so basically what you have to do is the very first time you do it, you try it. You freeze it. You have some ready to go. And then when you feel like the baby's latching really well and is like really likes the breast,

then you can try adding a nipple in like a bottle and try it with that first and see if they'll take it. And if they won't. And you could actually, it's weird, but you could try it. You could try it and you would be able to tell if it's different. And then you would know. Then you're not in the situation that we were in where we were like, oh, good, gallons of milk that we can't use. Okay.

I have a one bunch of venture. Oh, no, I had another low bar thing in this book. The thing that shocked me the most because we're both pretty staunch rule followers, even if we don't love authority that much we'll follow rules and so as soon as we got pregnant and was like well well that's it for for alcohol then because because because that's that's such an important rule and the book is still very clear like don't don't drink alcohol but the i i they provide statistics for how many people do continue to drink through pregnancy and how many people continue to binge drink through pregnancy and it is just fucking shocking and they don't

they don't do it as a way to say like this is okay i think they just they do it to give you all of the information available and to maybe make people feel less bad about having like a glass of wine here and there but it was just uh alarming and saddening to see it's like yeah you shouldn't drink at all one out of four women does not stop drinking throughout the entire pregnancy and they and they binge drink throughout it and there's in some cases nothing bad happens to it just just a devastating bit of information well it's true about like meth like things you can't really get off of things that you are addicted to like if you're addicted to alcohol but crack like there's that big hullabaloo about crack babies for so long and how like you're you're destroying that kid for the rest of their life

and then they did these studies on actual crack babies and they're like early on, it is torture for the kid because obviously they're addicted to crack as soon as they come out. But in terms of like their progression throughout life, they end up being fine. They end up being okay. And sometimes it depends on how you want to look at it.

Like it's really sad and appalling that people do that through pregnancy through not always necessarily their own fault. I understand that. But also like there are that the fact that your kids are so resilient is like oh that's really comforting because i'm going to do stuff that won't be close to crack but i'll buck up yeah i'll do things that i shouldn't be doing now i talked to you and

shea about this when we were uh at the restaurant when you came into town for your i can't remember why you were here you were getting some sort of award i can't remember what it was yeah um but author of the year because i bought two books and this is why you feel so virtuous as a father um i I told you that in a did, so a lot of times what happens is someone will get pregnant, not realize they're pregnant, and then do something that they shouldn't have done if they knew they were

pregnant. Like go out and they're partying or they get a bunch of medication in them because they're like sick and like things that you shouldn't be doing. I've heard the story a million times of people who find out they were pregnant and then immediately think back what was I doing last week? Oh, I was smoking weed in a tucousy

eating sushi, like like a trifecta of things that you shouldn't you're doing. Right. Because when they didn't know they were pregnant. And so then you're sitting there throughout your entire pregnancy terrified that you really genuinely fucked up. And like, what is this, is this baby going to come out human? You're like these irrational fears. And to that end, nature is really good about dealing with that as well. There is like a built in, and this is not to say do all of those things,

but like in the time where you don't know whether you're pregnant or not, that baby is not getting any sustenance from the body itself it might be like attaching to the uterine line but it's not actually the egg itself is providing all the nutrients to that baby so for the first like two weeks or there's like almost like a month cushion basically where that baby is not getting nutrients from the body so it's not getting any toxins from the body either and so all these people who freak the fuck out because they're like oh shit I didn't know it's pregnant and I just I drank for three days in a row it's like that's okay here's okay here's the counter to that because we found out we were pregnant and it was it was very exciting and and very surprising um even though we were

working towards this goal we still uh thought we were going to have to try again another the next month um so it was still a big surprise for us and we immediately do that mental math of like what have we done the last week oh it's some of the stuff that you're not supposed to do we hope everything's okay i do some reading online i talk to you about it and we learn that yes it's okay like don't feel crazy for all the reasons that you just gave stuff that you did before you knew you were pregnant it's not going to destroy the baby uh i do still think that when you find out you're pregnant you should be able to get really fucked up together for like a weekend yeah i think like like like officially sanctioned because when we find out we're pregnant it was like okay

few we we were safe and now we can stop doing things but there's we we you never more in your life want to so on a bender and say goodbye just say say farewell to like this chapter of of your life and start nesting and getting ready for the next chapter it's really you find out we're pregnant and you can't celebrate any of the ways that you used to celebrate things and just like doctors should really be like congratulations it's rum spring you have the police the police are going to stay away from you for 48 hours yeah get it all out have fun and then really hunker down and then get yeah get serious after that at least and i i totally agree with you i think you should be able to do that especially if you're finding out early like if you're finding

out like within like i don't you do you take that that first test and it's like you've missed one period you're like I'm still in the clear like this this is still time that we're okay let's go nuts i think you should be allowed to do that but no no doctor is going to say that the doctors are only going to say it's okay if you had a few drinks before you knew you were pregnant what matters is you start living healthy life now they're never going to say by my count you've got about six more days before you before the baby starts getting your toxins So yeah, live it up. Now, in the baby books, are you also, when you're finding out like your, all the new things that your baby is developing and stuff, are you also coming across the ones where it's developing stuff that it's going to fall off before it ever comes out?

Like that tail? The crazy shit. Yeah. Like your baby has a tail for a long period of time where you're like, you'll get like information. You always think you're progressing towards being what you are. And you're like, oh, I've made this thing in my image. I am God and then it's like

you're finding out different stuff you're like and wait why does I have a tail why does I get or the other ones are like

it becomes a wolf man for a little while in there you've got like a baby who's just covered in fur that's exciting

what's a fur called lanugo I think oh hold yeah your baby is covered in lanugo which is like

this fine hair but it's everywhere on their bodies and so sometimes you'll see preemies when they're born, these babies have like their cheeks and their forehead and everything is just like, they look like wolf made, like a wolf boy. And then all that falls off. And then, but it also plays like another instrumental role. I think that it's keeping them warm in there.

I don't really know why it's happening or it's just like this evolution thing. But what'll happen is that it falls off. And then that's the first thing that they really ingest. It's not just like the, what's it called fluid? The amniotic fluid? And so it's the only thing they're digesting. And so it's like helping their body to learn to digest. And so they're just eating all this, swallowing all this hair. It's just like working its way through the stomach. And then the stomach is like, oh, okay, I guess this is food.

This is food. All right. Well, well, let's get to work. There's so much that the books, well, brief pause real quick. I wonder if the hair thing is what the dashboard confessional song, screaming infidelity is about. Your hair is everywhere, screaming infidelities. That's him seeing the baby and thinking.

wife cheated on me with a wolf man yeah okay on pause the the book does such a good job trying to say things are normal and I think they can lighten up on that because they're like this is a point where the baby is now pissing and shitting and then it's eating it's piss and shit and it sounds gross but it's actually not and here's why And it's like, no, it sounds gross and it is gross. You could just tell me that the baby's doing it because it's got no other options. I understand. I'm not an idiot.

I'm smart. I'm not dumb like people say. I'm smart. Yeah, I think, yeah, because it's got to, you're the basically your stomach has to be stretched out. It starts out so, so tiny. And it's like, your baby's got to drink its own pee a lot because it's basically all it's doing is it's like blowing up a balloon in there. So that when it comes out, it's like ready to use.

And you really realize quickly when babies do. when they're born, they're not ready. They need another couple weeks in the oven, man. Like, they come out raw and they are not ready for this world. And you just have to sort of like, you have to be very watchful over them as they deal with this. They also come out, they've been wet their entire life and they come out in the minute that they dry off. Their skin peels for like a week and a half. And you're just dealing with a reptile for a while.

That's fun. That's something to look forward to. Yeah, it's pretty exciting. in the early days chapters of the book i'm still just learning about how banks work that part of the book where they just give the father other jobs and tasks to keep me busy just keep you out of the way this might be a good time to tell you um what do you know about the the the bison teen empire you should study up on that that's interesting i was the really sad part of those books for me was when they were they were like after your wife gives birth you got to understand that she's not going to want to have sex for a while

and i was like man why did you have to put that in here what who are the guys who are like okay baby's out my body again let's get on it there were there were enough guys dragging their wives to the doctor like the baby's fine but the wife is broken yeah the like doesn't work anymore this stuff that I like to do. There was enough guys doing that. Someone was like, we should, we got to write a book to let people know that this is, that this is okay. That their wife has just been through trauma and is healing.

And it's like, also not healing well because she's not sleeping either. Like the thing you need to heal is sleep and you're not getting that. And so it's like, imagine having the worst trauma of your bodily trauma of your life. And also now you're in a torture cell where you're not allowed to sleep. But you know what would make you feel better if you're if if oh no I wasn't going to say that I was going to say while your body is recovering and you're being prisoner of war tortured you know it would cheer you up a bunch of your in-laws just so much of your family not even in your regular family just a bunch of people and that want to see you and the baby yeah not just like

your family in the way that you know them currently your family keyed up ready to give you advice ready to tell you how to do shit and you know what here's the secret they don't remember yeah they don't know that's early days when you for like even the first three months of child rearing by the time you have the second you don't remember anything you're like oh fuck i was barely keeping my head above water and that's like a design by your brain when you're in that panic mode you don't all like the your usual memory doesn't work properly you're just trying to stay afloat and so you're just moving from one thing to another and nothing's really like creating a wrinkle in that brain and so their parents will come and like they're wrong about so much shit

I wish I remember the comedian that came across my Instagram feed that did this bit but he had recently had a baby and his parents were helping and he said it's really great but your parents helping you have a baby is like someone coming back to your job after being retired for 35 years yes yes and thinking they don't need any new training and you're like hey do you do you want to just like watch a video real quick because we've changed some of that. No, I got it. And just how.

Or a refresher course even. Like a cop, too. It's like a dangerous thing. It's like, no, I remember how these guns work. I haven't used a gun in 50 years, but I think I could still do it. You're like, well, I'd just like to see you take one apart and put it back together before we do anything else. Here's how we used to spot crime.

Well, it's not. Some studies have come out. That's the wrong way to spot crime. Yeah, there's. they don't remember the way that they're the most helpful or like the way that friends can be most helpful to you is that they come over

and they do all the shit that is not baby related if they're allowed to touch the baby hey that's a nice added bonus for them but like if they come over and the entire focus is the baby then you're just hosting and you're hosting and now you also have a baby whereas if they come over and they're like hey I brought you this meal do you eat it

and they're like and now I would like to do the dishes for you and like they're doing the things in the house that are obviously going to follow by the wayside because they're not the priority. That's like the most helpful thing anyone can do for you. You know, I know this isn't exactly what you're saying, but this is a thing I keep hearing about when we're talking about, we're considering like doulas or night nurses or people just to help out around the house

and friends have pointed out how helpful it is to have someone to do things like laundry and dishes and cooking and cleaning up. And this is where I get dangerously clean. close to hero ball where I feel like there's no fucking way I'm going to let that slide for all this because I know how much Shea is doing in this process and I don't even know how much she's doing because there's just stuff that I don't understand I feel like the idea that she is going to be doing everything that she is doing and that I am going to let the laundry pile up or the dishes pile up just seems completely unfathomable to me,

even though every person that I've talked to has said, no, no, no, no, no. When this baby comes, you're going to forget to flush the fucking toilet. But the hero ball instinct in me comes in and it was like, I think I can do it. I think I can do everything. Yeah, of course. And Soren, can I?

Yeah, but you're going to go blind. Okay, sure. there you can there's here's the thing is that you are way more involved at then you think you're going to be with the baby itself like also you want to be you're it's so important and my end you're doing a lot of skin and skin there's a lot of just like hanging out with the baby and like and then you're also going to be helping latch like you're helping you're the baby you're you're clipping fingernails and stuff like that you're doing all the diapers like you're doing everything that is within your power to do that you do you're

body itself doesn't need to support the baby so like you're finding all of these holes in taking care of a newborn where you're like I do that I do that I do that and then you will also take on some of the burden of like these other roles that you wouldn't have ordinarily had in the house generally that like stuff you didn't even know she was doing like all the invisible labor that she was doing and you're like oh shit I didn't even know we did this and so you're you are filling in on a lot of those things but man it is just an overflowing trash can where it's like You just keep trying to, like, balance stuff on top of yourself and, like, stuff's just sliding off. You're like, well, I don't know.

Maybe we'll get to that later. Yeah. I had hero ball moments where I've, and this has been beaten out of the middle of my coworkers, but I was like, I think I can probably do it without taking paternity leave from work. Because I work from home. When we're in rewrite, I have to be on camera in front of my computer for like three or four straight hours. but otherwise I can like move around and I can watch the footage that I need to watch while like bouncing a baby

I think I can pull it off and my coworkers were like well first of all you don't have to and second of all you can't right yeah you don't even want to do this podcast once a week it's going to be too much it's going to be oh man that's going to be so great when you get a bunch of guests in to substitute in I guess I should start working on that now That's certainly a way I could help you in the early days of it is if I get,

if I start prepping now and have guests here so that you don't have to do the podcast for like a month. Right. The way to not help me, the way to, I'm just going to, I'm going to put it out into the universe now. The way to not do this is for us to book a bunch in advance and just like in a few weeks before the baby is due to just you and I hunker down and talk. For like 10 straight hours, we have the summer field. That's not going to be... No. That's not going to produce a happy Daniel, I don't think.

All right. This is exciting. I'll get some guests. Yeah. All right. This is good. This is a really helpful thing that I could do. I was thinking about, like, what are the helpful things I could do?

Should I get him an exercise ball? No, this is way better. Yeah. No, it's keep the podcast going. Yeah. But not in a way where it gets more popular without me, because that's going to hurt my feelings. but in a way that maintains our level of money income yeah uh and that and that the money

doesn't go to the guests oh i can i'll that's easy okay good because i still want the money i got a kid sort i'm not paying anyone great okay good and that's going to be startling when you see the caliber of the guests I'm bringing in. When George Clooney is here to talk about Michael Clayton, you're going to be like, how did he do that? I want to talk about Michael Clayton. It's not even just talking about the process of making it, just like promoting it as if he's on a talk show.

You still out doing the rounds? It's still like a little junket. Everyone goes to see the movie. It was a lot of fun to make. Really thinks it can at this point be a four quadrant hit. Tilda Switten is a vision in it It's wonderful You gotta see it

All right everybody Thank you for listening this podcast We're gonna cut it here This is a quick question With Sorrenta Daniel you knew that It's also baby talk That's the other thing where we've been calling it But you have to say it exactly like that

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you've got you've got me rex you know them and uh oh kately largest thing do you want to pump that again nope we're going to uh record one of those patrons um right now if you can believe that so if you think like boy they they record these things right up until the fumes and then And then end it. No, we've got like. There's more in the tank. A piece of content that we charge people for. We're going to do it at this level.

You know, like when your car starts, it's out of gas, but then it starts getting kind of weird. We're in that like second wind, that weird second win. Yeah, you get that little light that is like your gas is not working. You're almost out of gas. And as a result, you've lost serious satellite radio. It's only terrestrial radio now. You're like, okay, let's check out a.m.

What are they offering up these days? All right, talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here