Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Soren Bowie, (Self-Proclaimed) M.D.

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Soren might be Dr. Gregory House. He figures out his own illness, has second thoughts about being a Lake Person, and plants his flag with a stunning and alienating declaration. Daniel, meanwhile, has great blood. Help us grow the show by following us on socials and doling out some sweet, sweet engagement: https://www.linktr.ee/QQPodcast

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? What do I be? What was it I could wear? What are we? Oh, forget it I'm sorry, baby, Daniel O'Brien When will I be remembered? Was it out there? Worded all through the week Oh forget it

Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast, senior writer for Last Week Tonight, author of How to Fight Presidents, and tragically unacknowledged MVP of the self-checkout line, Daniel O'Brien.

Joined, as always, by my co-host, Soren Bui. Soren, in what ways are you not appreciated enough? 30 seconds on the clock. Hey, my name is Soren Bui. I'm a writer for American Dad. I feel like I do a great job out in public of picking up trash conspicuously i also think that i am pretty darn good when i get to the front of the line of knowing exactly what i need to be there for 15 seconds uh also on airplanes i'm uh i'm an mvp on airplanes oh yeah talk about that okay from the moment i get on i know know already, first of all, I'm not going to wait in that big, that big stable of, of old ponies trying to get on the plane all at once when they know that their zone isn't there yet. Yeah. I don't go up there until I know it's my time. Then when I get on, I, when I get in, I'm, I'm sitting there, but I'm also aware I've got

my head on a swivel because there are going to be people coming in who want to get their bag up. And they have, for whatever reason, packed a bag that they themselves cannot lift over their own heads. Yeah. And so I'm just waiting for that. I'm waiting for that opportunity. I'm seeing like, oh, let me get that for you. And people are always like, are you? Really?

You do that for me? In a way that like that that what was your other plan you didn't have anything else i'm the guy who's going to be lifting that bag up there you knew i would be here let's just let's get rid of the charade and let's just uh charade no i love it i love it and i will do it for you um and in lines i think that one of the most important things we can do is a civilization whether you're in your car or you're uh at a burger king or whatever you're doing that when you you're in a line you have a plan for what you're going to do when you get to the front of that line correct just have a plan any plan plan. Now, when was the last time you checked a bag on a flight?

Has it been a while? Yeah, we check a lot because of our children. I almost did for this show a PSA about what to do when you check a bag because there was a time in our lives When we thought doing PSAs would be a regular function of this show. Yeah. And I think we did too. And never again. Yes. Because it drives me bonkers.

People hugging the baggage claim carousel. And if we all just back up. And give a nice five foot buffer. We will all see our bags. We don't need to jockey for position just back up and wait your bag will come no one is going to steal your bag because that is such an insane crime to do so don't worry that your bag is going to get stolen if you're not fast enough well also yeah i, the difference between two steps isn't going to change whether your bag gets stolen. Even if that was like a rampant crime, you are not, your bag's not going to get stolen any faster because you're two steps away from the carousel.

Right. I'm totally with you. The fact that everyone hugs it is maddening. It drives me nuts. Tell me about the self-checkout. I'm just so good at it i'm just so quick at it and i i feel like customers behind me should say something someone should say something someone should applaud me as like hey man you really you hustle you really got through that because i see

so many people who are so slow and it and it also drives me nuts because self-checkout is not for you to explore the scanner gun and it's not for you to like dilly dally. It is designed for us to move quickly with a few items. I think this might frustrate you, but I think a lot of people are slow on purpose in that line because their position is, I'm not trained. I'm not a trained cashier, but you're asking me to do that job. So now I'm going to make it as much time. Their idea is that as long as other people are complaining, hey, their job is done because the store has thrust this job upon them. They didn't ask for it. Have you, what are things like in LA? I've not been to a place where self-checkout has replaced cashiers entirely. Yeah. There are places where there's like one lane open and then there's just self-checkout. Oh. Yeah, there are places where there's like one lane open and then there's just self-checkout. Oh. And people are, and I think people go and use it.

And like the more time that they take and the more confused that they seem, the easier it is to steal. Because then they've got, at the end, if somebody was to question them, they'd be like, well, I don't know. It was just so confusing. I think that there's a lot of people taking up time because they've got ulterior motives. Well, it's not working. Whatever your mission statement is, slow people and self-checkout, it is not found purchase in my brain. Instead, I just think you're slow and an idiot. Yeah, I'm with you. And in fact fact the self-checkout at whole foods i know so well that i know exactly that it's going to ask me three questions before it even asked me if i if i want to use my uh card or not like there's going to be these other things like are you

dining here which i'm not sure how that fucking matters or is any of their business frankly uh and then it's going to ask me a couple other things that are like useless, useless. But I know that somebody, everybody else would have to be like, oh, oh, I was ready to use my card.

What is this now? And then they have to read the screen and then they have to choose. Yeah. I know the positions of the buttons. I'm with you. I'm like the faster I get out of there, the easier it is for everybody in the world. Yeah.

A hundred percent. and there's no one uh to tell me that i'm i'm a good boy and i'm doing a good job and i just hey daniel yeah what's up you're a good boy and you're doing a good job thank you so much that is all i wanted that's it for our show this week the show is quick question but you knew that already um well daniel how have you been lately let me start with this first and this is quick question, but you knew that already. Well, Daniel, how have you been lately? Let me start with this first. And this is a question that I ask because I don't totally care, but I'm going to get to like how I'm feeling.

But go ahead. How have you been feeling? I'm good. I've been feeling pretty good. I told you I recently moved. I moved back in May, but then I spent all of June in Los Angeles. So I still feel like a pretty new tenant in my current place. told you i recently moved i moved back in may but then i spent all of june in los angeles so i still feel like a pretty new tenant in my current place and yesterday i hung out with a bunch of my

neighbors and it was delightful and i got to know people and it was so fun can you give me like a a mean age uh in that group a mean age probably not the mean age uh would not give you any information because uh there are a lot of kids who summer here where i live oh okay okay yeah that makes sense it's the demographic skewed from the kids that are all there summering correct yeah well that sounds fun actually it is yeah did you guys drink uh yeah oh look out i don't know why i paused yeah we did we just like sat out and looked at water and drank and talked about uh all of our dogs oh awesome yeah and you guys get crazy no ah okay next time how was that the right answer?

I was just a guy who's super excited to hear about your dream. Next time. You'll get them next time, man. It's going to be fun. Well, that's good for you. Congratulations. And you've been feeling healthy? You've been feeling good?

I have, yeah. I went to a gastroenterologist recently just because I've had like persistent stomach problems for a very long time. And I wanted some kind of clarity on what the fuck is going on with my body. And I got my blood tests back today and I'm devastated to say the results are either normal or excellent. the results are either normal or excellent. I have no further clarity on why I sometimes get cramps and terrible stomach follow-up issues. Well, Daniel, it turns out I might be the type of person

who could help you. Oh? Yeah, because I am, as of recently, a medical professional. Oh, that's so exciting. I mean, we all develop strikes during the hobby uh jesus fucking christ nope okay we're going back we all develop hobbies during the

strike so i'm thrilled that uh you got your degree finally oh no sorry there's no degree i'm just a medical professional i'm good at this um like a like you a golf pro like he doesn't get a certificate he's just all of a sudden good at it sure and i'm very good at this okay do you want me to lay it out for you what happened please okay the night was a monday oh my god skip ahead i got really sick last week um i started on Monday and I got a fever and then I got really bad chills. And then I couldn't get rid of the fever. Like even when I would take medication, I couldn't get rid of it. And it was just day and night, constant, bad, bad chills that I couldn't sleep through.

And they were like racking my body. Like I was in pain because I was, I was tremoring so badly. Oh my God. Where was the pain? My back and my stomach, like my ribs, like just in places where like, if you were to be, if you were to vibrate your body as much as you could, like all the places you would get very achy and then just general, like the fever achiness too. And I could get rid of the chills if i took enough ibuprofen or i took enough acetaminophen i could get rid of the chills but i could not drop the fever and then it started to climb like if it

started out the first day it was like 100 and it was a constant every all day long i didn't have breaks and then it started it grew it got to be like 101 that the next day is 102 then it got to 104 and i was like this is not good adults are not supposed to have fevers of 104 i'm gonna go to urgent care so i went and i was like this is weird i'm gonna here's my symptoms i don't have anything else there's no cold there's no sinus stuff there's nothing in my lungs none of my family have this i'm just crazy sick with a fever and very bad chills and they took my temperature like oh jesus you have a fever of 104 and the doctor goes what are you six that's pretty good it's pretty good uh and so they give me medic medication to try and like it. I could get it lower than 104, but like it wouldn't go away.

You never get to that point where, you know, like a fever breaks and you get really sweaty and you're like, oh, thank God. Yeah. Like there it is. There's my body doing what it's supposed to do. It never got to that point. I could just drop it a little bit. And so they're like, all right, chest x-rays, nothing in your chest. We're going to do a COVID test, a flu swab.

They did a blood panel and they're like, and after the blood panel, that's when things got crazy because the doctor came back in and he's like, this is fascinating. I was like, oh no, what's fascinating? He's like, your white blood cell count is also very low right now it's it's like you're not sick okay here's what's nuts sorry yeah yeah to interrupt your story i lied before when i said everything in my blood test was normal or excellent there was one thing that gave the doctor pause and it was my white blood cell count being a little bit low yeah really not enough that it like alarmed him or anything like that. He was just like, this is the one thing I found. Your white blood cell count is a little bit low.

Otherwise you're fine. You're just not fighting shit. I think that you're like, and honestly, I think everyone's probably is about there right now because it was such a bad, bad winter for everybody that like white blood cell counts on vacation. Like it worked so hard. And so, yeah, I was low on that. And he's like, ordinarily, if we had somebody,

you see somebody who has like a bacterial infection and that's why they would have a fever like this. We'd also see a pretty spiked white blood cell count and we're not getting that from you. He's like, I don't know what this is. Is it time for you and I to revisit Osmosis Jones for the podcast? Is it a banger? We don't remember. It's probably not. Chris Rock as Osmosis jones for the podcast is it a banger we don't remember it's probably not

chris rock as osmosis jones and i want to say david hyde pierce as his buddy and bill murray is the live action as a zookeeper yeah yeah that's right um so uh they're like here's what we're gonna give you this shot and it's the shot of basically like an antibiotic cocktail it sucks hard it's a shot where they're like i i lift up my shirt and they're like no no no we have to do this in your haunches and i was like what is that the doctor said haunches haunch well the nurse said haunches so she made me uh lay down on the table and i pulled down a portion of my pants and she's like she said this may sting a little which was the understatement of the century she this long ass fucking spine type of needle where it had a yellow viscous fluid in it that she injected into

me that that part was not so terrible like the needles you know i'm bad with that but i got over that that was fine whatever this was when it entered my body was so fucking painful it was just like me writhing there and she's like you gotta lower you gotta straighten that leg you gotta get it flowing through you quickly because it's gonna be painful and i was like yeah yeah and she's like i'm gonna get you an ice pack and uh i'm like so why can't they give that to you in the And she's like, I'm going to get you an ice pack. And, uh, I'm like, so why can't they give that to you in the arm? She's like, well, it's because it's such a big dose of whatever this stuff is. It would make your arm unusable for the rest of the day. It would just be numb. And like, you couldn't, you wouldn't be able to like lift it, but you're pitching against the Yankees tonight. That's why she gave it to me in my heart. And so it was,

it was awful. It's like some like big antibiotic and they'd give it. And basically I went and looked it up and it's, it covers everything from like sexually transmitted diseases to meningitis. It's just like this gamut. Yeah. It runs the gamut. I mean,

and so I'm like, all right, great. Surely that will fix it. And I go home and i go to bed and wake up with the highest fever i've had yet what was it 105 fuck yeah and i was like this isn't good for my brain um so i'm like putting like a cool compress on my head just being like i gotta i want to like i don't want to suffer brain damage

because I have this stupid fever that I can't figure out. And so I'm lying there and I can't sleep or anything because it's so bad and I'm just shivering and trying to keep the rest of my body warm. And I'm like, there's got to be something I'm not thinking of. And then it came to me, Daniel. Your boy, Soren Bui buoy was recently lake people in wisconsin and along with lake people there are insects that like little parasites that attack lake people

and i thought wait a second when i took the band-aid off from my butt shot i noticed that i also had a little bite below that. And if I, when I went and looked in the mirror again, I was like, that thing has kind of like a bullseye design to it. It was like a red in the middle. And then it had like a ring around the outside of it. And I was like, that's specific to ticks. And so I was like, I'm going to go look up Wisconsin, like what Wisconsin warns against in terms of tick-borne illnesses.

And there are a few of them. There are like three of them. There's Lyme disease. There's another one called ehrlichiosis and anaplasmosis. And then there's another one. And the other one was like, immediately, I was like, that's not what I have. But between Lyme disease and ehrlichiosis and anaplasmosis, I was like, holy shit. These are all exactly my symptoms.

It was high fever, chills, chills sometimes nausea i wasn't really getting that um and then uh the white blood cell blood cell count doesn't jump and i was like i think i fucking have this and it was like and if it's not treated it can be some terrible things can happen including death oh shit that's the big one yeah that's the one that i didn't want and so i was like okay uh in the middle of the night i told colleen i'm going to the er and i'm gonna go see if they'll test me for this she's like okay so i leave go to the okay okay go then go i'm sleeping don't wake me up for this bullshit ever again. Oh, it's Soren? Yeah, it's Soren. If you ever wake me up for something as

fucking silly as this in the future, I'm going to be very upset the next day. You read on the internet that you might die? Yeah, go. Get out of here. Go away. Yeah, the fact that she was so supportive when I was like, I read something on WebMD that I think I have when doctors couldn't

figure it out. So I go there, I finally get to see a doctor. ERs, you don't take forever. And I see a doctor and I'm like, here's what I think I have. And I show her on my phone because I don't even know how to pronounce it. She's like, yeah. I mean, that sounds in line with your symptoms. Can I see the bite? I'm like, yep. I show I showed her. She's like, that's definitely a tick bite. I've never actually seen one in person, but that is definitely what it looks like from my times in medical school. And I like looked at books in my time in middle medical school. Wow.

And I was like, okay, cool. And she's like, I don't know what you have though. And we can't test for it here. So you're going to need to see your primary care physician. In the meantime, I will give you this drug called doxycycline, which is like what they give for all those tick-borne illnesses. i'm like cool sounds good so she prescribes it to me i start taking it that night immediately have terrible uh side effects from it it's got like these different things like i got very nauseous from it sure then then there's another thing you

can get from it called um intercranial hypertension. Ah, tight head? Yeah, buddy, your brain swells. Oh, no. Yeah. Can I also say, as a brief sidebar, it's insane to me that a doctor would say, I've never seen a tick bite before. I don't know if it's just a-

I'm a very candid doctor. A symptom of where I grew up, But ticks are just everywhere in New Jersey. Like we would run and play. We would spend all of our time in the woods and then would know to come home and mom would check our hair for ticks because there were just so many. It was like a part of my summer life was the daily tick check. Yeah. I mean, me too.

We had deer ticks growing up. We had Rocky Mountain spotted fever. There were things you had to look out for. And our dogs, constantly we'd be burning them off of our dogs. Absolutely. And so, yeah, it was customary you came home. And I think maybe that's part of the reason that this was so hard to diagnose in LA is because they're just, I guess there's no fucking ticks here.

They don't have them? Yeah. They don't do it. They're not invented here yet yeah and so this the doctors didn't even think to look for that they didn't they weren't asking oh you know a doctor did ask me at one point uh have you been anywhere anywhere weird earlier on he's like trying to figure out what this was and i was like yeah i was uh in minnesota wisconsin he was like ah i was really hoping for more like South America. Everyone's trying to be Dr. House. Everyone's trying to find the Brazilian translation of walnuts. Meanwhile, I fucking house this situation, Daniel. And I want the credit that I deserve for

this because I deduced it in my feverish state, figured out what I had when doctors were scratching their heads. Anyway, I got my doxycycline. I go on it. It's really rough at first. And which if it was a real low moment for me the next night after I'd taken my very first dose, couldn't sleep because I've like the worst migraine of my life and feels just like pressure in my brain. And I'm also, I can't lie down because I get very sick and i'm just like out of the fucking frying pan and into the fire there's no way i can do 10 days of this yeah and i get it i this is very special so it my a primary care physician in los angeles the idea that you would get an appointment with your primary care physician within like a week

is that's like winning the lottery that doesn't happen you get to see your primary care physician within like a week is that's like winning the lottery. That doesn't happen. You get to see your primary care physician, maybe the next season, if you make an appointment. And, uh, I didn't, I didn't get to see my primary care physician, but I got to see his assistant, which was, Oh, just chef's kiss that I even got in there. I know. Incredible, right? Tom Hanks, his cousin. Amazing. And, and uh she ran like five blood panels and just like wait still to this now i got that on friday still waiting for the results of that but i've continued to take this doxycycline in the meantime and the some of the side effects have subsided but i also don't have the fever anymore and like i'm back like i my energy levels are better you sound good yeah i thought it was like i was on the verge of

something terrible and i was getting to a very dark place too because i just when you can't shake a thing like that you're like well i'm tagged by death at this point like yeah and and and uh i think we've talked about this before but you for most of my life have been not a sick person you're you never get sick you're incredibly healthy you're so sick this last year you were sick enough that that uh when i uh because you texted me last week that you were sick again, you had a high fever and you were texting me about it. And you're so sick that when I mentioned it to my girlfriend who doesn't know you, even she was like, he's been sick a lot this year. Like she has no frame of reference

except to know that you have been very sick for the last 12 months. I have to like start to recalibrate the type of person that i am that ailments befall me i know now and that's not who i used to be yeah maybe i'm hoping it's just like a this is a bad 2023 and maybe everything changes but it's you're absolutely right i've been getting the weirdest terriblest shit yeah and there's no there's no pattern to it it's not like you you have been sick with the same thing over and over again it's new each's no pattern to it it's not like you you have been sick with the same thing over and over again it's new each time i know and it doesn't feel it doesn't feel like it's me you know like i'm not putting myself in these situations i don't think um but yeah this

was rough and then it was the only nice thing was that when i after i had my blood panels and everything that i'd been wearing a mask around the house around my kids and everything because i was like i tested for covid but this has got to be something like that that i don't want to have to deal with them with this yeah and uh when they gave me all the tests and everything they i was like can i take my mask off around my family and they're like you've been wearing a mask that's that's that's some yeah that's some fun and very understandable ego shit of like i definitely have the next COVID 100%. I have the new plague that we don't know about yet.

Yeah. I haven't been in a wet market lately, but I guarantee that's what I have. And so it was a nightmare. And then I, I'm like nearing the end of this cycle on these pills. And I'm just like banking on the fact that it's one of these fucking tick-borne illnesses because that seems to be what's it's supposed to be working as the drug

for tick-borne illnesses for me i think i had lyme disease dan is that uh no that's not a thing that you have for a little bit and then it goes away right that's a thing generally if you don't treat lyme disease there's three stages of it there's the first stage which is basically exactly what i had then it kind of goes away and then all of a sudden it comes back and it comes back way worse like it hurts your joints and it hurts your like different organs and stuff like that and then if you get all and doctors have a very hard time like pinpointing it like figuring out what it is um and then if you get beyond that then doctors have a very hard time pinpointing it, figuring out what it is. And then if you get beyond that, then it becomes like you could do some irreparable damage to your body.

But yes, people get it for years. I thought it was a forever thing. Yeah. Yeah. People get it for long, long periods of time unless it's treated. And I don't really know if this, I don't totally know if it is Lyme disease, if it's something I have for the rest of my life. I don't think so. I think if as long as you like treat it you're fine yeah but we'll see anyway were there any um questions that the the doctor or nurse asked you that you felt embarrassed to not have an answer for when you were like doing your check-in like what i i uh completely biffed on the entire family history portion of my

admission when i when i went there i was like hey i've got i've got chronic stomach problems and like are your parents healthy yeah i don't know i mean they're alive leave we don't talk about family business with strangers shut up up. Leave me alone. Yeah. I definitely, there was a portion where they're asking, do your family have a history of heart disease? And I was like, yes, my uncle has heart disease really bad. And they're like, immediate family.

And I was like, oh, no, no, no. But do you want to talk about my uncle? Because he's kind of a really, he's a right-wing nut. It's weird. Yeah.-wing nut it's weird yeah do you think it's related um there's i just get very defensive when doctors are like what about your dad how's your dad he's fine he's a hero who provided for my family worked a terrible job for 38 and a half years you shut up you salute him he's the troops basically shut up you salute him he's the troops basically he's the troops yeah um yeah i i do try to like immediately because i never know if it's if it's valuable information to them or not whenever i'm in the hospital for something and they're like do you have any like do you have

any illnesses in your family i'll be like yeah multiple sclerosis and they're like okay generally that's the answer I get. Like, no, I mean like, like stuff that might be actually genetic or like hereditary. I'm like, yes, but I want to give you all the information. And like, that's the hardest part when I go into an ER or a setting where I'm not with my primary care physician, where I'm like, I want to give them everything. I want to give them all the information up front. And I just want them to just fucking listen. I'm like, here's what I'm experiencing.

Here's how it's gone so far. Here are the things I think it might be. Like, I want to get through all of that. I don't want to, there's always this dance that we got to do where we're like, I tell them the very first thing. And then they're like, and have you checked your glands? And I'm like, yeah, that's like, I'm going to tell you that in two and a half minutes. That's the, that's the two and a half minute mark of the story.

Like there's different things that like, I know I've done all the good things. Just trust that I'm somebody who has, has given you like a shortcut here. Yeah. I've done all the good things. Now let's get to what this might actually be. Yeah. And I think you and I are, are different in that, uh, I don't go to doctors often. That's a new thing for me to actually go. Yeah. And I think you and I are different in that I don't go to doctors often. That's a new thing for me to actually go to doctors. I have avoided them for a very long time

that I feel like I need to say in the beginning, listen, you don't know this, but it's really special that I'm here talking to you right now. So just let me say everything on my mind. Because who knows when we'll have this chance again. I, mine comes from having gone to doctors so sparingly and every single time getting misdiagnosed that it became like almost comical how badly I was misdiagnosed. I came in with a sprained ankle once only because my mom was like, is it still turning blue? And I was like, yeah, she's like, you might have some circulation issues.

You should go in. So I went into a doctor and I was like showing the doctor i was like i spray my ankle he's like what's this little scab over here and i'm like oh that's old that's not from the same thing he's like no that's this is an infection from that scab and i was like it is he's like yeah and they put me on these antibiotics there's a drip of antibiotics for a fucking sprained ankle and it was a sprained ankle but he like the doctor convinced me it wasn't um anyway i i end up dealing with these things where like i i just would get in there and then i'd wait for the questions from a doctor and be like hey he wants

to handle it in his own time or she wants to handle it in her own time i will give her all the answers that she requires but i'm not going to give her more than that because she doesn't want to hear from me yeah no longer how i treat doctors now i go in there and i'm like just i need you to just sit down and fucking listen for a second here is the here's what's going on especially with a thing where like they'd never someone had never heard of it she was like when i showed her anaplasmosis and and ehrlichiosis she was like okay okay she's like reading it from webmd with me and she's like yeah that all sounds like what you've got it's yeah it's such a bummer how human doctors are

that you don't you don't leave doctor school knowing every disease that exists and what it looks like and how to treat it that's such a bummer. Yeah. I am really, I am impressed by doctors who are willing to, rather than being like, I'm going to go run some tests or like I'm going to go look at results and then they go like furiously Google it on their computer in their office.

I am really appreciative of doctors who just tell me they're going to go do that. Like when Gilly bit through her tongue, doctor looked at it and she was like, okay, I don't really know what to do here. I'm, I'm going to go look it up because I want to see if we should stitch it or not.

I'm not really sure if you stitch tongues. And I was like, okay, thank you. You don't know. I don't know. Like, let's do this together.

You probably have access to better links is like Lexus Nexus than I do. You go fucking look it up on yours. And, uh, and she came back. She's like, no, it's actually more dangerous for us to put her under like there's more complications associated with that than just

letting it try and heal on its own and i'm like yes we you looked it up and you did it all right and thank you for just telling me did i ever tell you i bit a piece of my tongue off did we talk about that when when the thing happened no no i was a kid i was uh on like monkey bars and uh a girl was like tickling my armpits as i was on the monkey bars to like because it was at that age where we don't know the line between flirting and being mean so she was ruining my day tickling me to get my attention and i fell off the monkey bars and uh bashed my chin into my knee when i landed and i bit the tip of my tongue off and like spit it out at the pool club no yeah it was real bad oh that's so bad uh we just did nothing for it like i was there with my mom who is a nurse and she was like yeah that's a that's a thing you did

tongues grow back or they don't we don't know your mouth just heals so fast yeah that was that's like when the doctor when i saw into gilly's tongue because like she had done it at school she was no longer crying or anything but she was home and she were eating dinner she's saying her her mouth hurts but i'm like well let me see it like let me see your tongue and she happened to like put it put stick it out of her mouth in such a way that it flexed it strangely and i could see all the way inside of her tongue like yeah like it was it was halfway through her tongue and i was like oh we're going to the doctor and colleen was like what's wrong and i was like i could see into her tongue it's It's bad. We need to go get that stitched. Like we need to fix this. And it looked just like, you know, like you don't want to see things you're not supposed to be seeing.

Like deep into a muscle. But they were much cooler about it at the hospital. Like this will probably be sealed up in two days. I was like, okay. There's another thing about being sick, Daniel. Okay. That I think I want to talk about, but I'm worried that it's not as universal as I believe it to be.

Oh man, I can't wait. A quick question. Uh-huh. When you're sick, especially with like a fever, have you ever noticed how polite your penis is? By that, I mean that it's just like, look, man, I see you're going through a lot. I'm just going to stay out of your way. I don't want to make this any harder for you. I don't want to make this any tougher for you than it already is i you

we can kick it when you're done here but like you've got a lot going on and i don't want to get in the way of that it's i'm just it's gonna be like i'm not even here and then it does this thing where it like backs up into your into your testicles not like it like absorbs back into your body like when you're cold or you're like a firework or something like it, like backs up into your testicles, like, like someone standing on the ledge of a building, just trying to get as flat as possible. Uh-huh. And, and that just like hangs out there. Does that, does that, does that ring true for you?

Soren, it gives me tremendous pleasure to tell you that I have no idea what you're talking about. My penis. All I want to do is give you more rope. Keep going. It is so, it's like it's trying to be innocuous and like a very good roommate. It's just like trying to get out of the way. How in the way is it normally? I mean, it's in the way a lot.

You have a job and a family. But it's, first of all, it will, all sexuality is gone from your brain, obviously, right? Like that's not an issue at all. It's not doing its normal things where like occasionally you just like you'll wake up and you're like oh man i got an erection like you're not in none of that's happening but also in addition to that it's doing this thing where it's just like it's like trying to make itself as flat as possible up against your body but all up against your testicles i'd say let god you're not getting that you know this isn't registering for you by the way i would say your testicles i'd say let god you're not getting that you know this isn't

registering for you by the way i would say that testicles are the opposite they're like a nuisance when you're very sick like they are first of all when you have a fever and like your body's very hot that you're at full sail like there are no creases in that canvas right and so they're and that just means that you've got like these boiled eggs on you all the time where like you're like when you're sleeping they're somehow always on you they're like a bad bedmate like you can't they're rolling around on you all the time and you're just like get away from me yeah i feel like the the penis is very the opposite where it just it just like backs up it's just like i'm I'm just going to, I'm going to get out of your way.

I'm going to, this is a narrow hallway and I'm going to just hug the wall. Right. It's like a, it's a, a supporting actor in a TV show where it's like, Hey, it's breaking bad. Jesse, we don't actually need you in this episode. So you're like, this is just a Gus episode. So like, don't even worry. You don't have anything to do.

It's fine. We'll take care of you later, but you're not needed right is just a Gus episode. So like, don't even worry. You don't have anything to do. It's fine. We'll take care of you later, but you're not needed right now. Exactly. Yeah. And I mean, you've got to be in the background. You've got to still be there, but like, don't chew the scenery. Don't, you're not, don't make any decisions as an actor. Yeah.

Your name's on the call sheet. Just stay out of the way. And you know your job and like, okay, I get it. I'm just supposed to be get it. I'm just supposed to be back here. I'm just, I just have to exist. And like, that's all it's doing. It's like, and barely even that. And I love it. I love that it does that. I found myself so many times when I was sick being like, thank you. You're being very helpful. This is, uh, this is so much more about what you're like when you're healthy than it is than it more about what you're like when you're healthy than it is

than it does about what you're like when you're sick like this i only have questions about like how much of your day is occupied best case scenario on a healthy day by your fucking dick and balls i mean objectively in the way all the time, right? No! Just like every other person. Thank you. I go to the gym. That's all I can think.

I'm like, are they sticking out? Like, what's going on? You have to wear such thin shorts when you're exercising. I'm constantly worried. I'm constantly like, oh, you again. But not when you're exercising. I'm constantly worried. I'm constantly like, Oh, you again, but not when I'm sick.

Good Lord. Sorry that that's not more relatable. I hope that maybe for somebody else out there, they're like, yes, yes. It even is like timid about being, you know, like it's like, like when I'm going to pee, it it's like are you sure you want to do this and then it like it does it half-heartedly i don't have like a full

stream it's like it kind of like it pees like it's trying to be quiet this is where i thought you were going with uh penis related questions when it comes to medical stuff. Yeah. Because when I got my blood test done a couple days ago, I knew I was doing that and I fasted in advance. And then when they took all my blood, the nurse was like, and now we need a urine sample. I was like, that wasn't discussed. I didn't plan for that. And she was like, the bathroom is that way.

And she gave me a cup and like was not sympathetic to the fact that i i can't really pee on command uh but i did because of her confidence i think my uh stupid wiener understood like hey we don't need to go right now but like let's be serious this is it's we're in a doctor's office so you have to it's like psyching your body up in the bathroom being like okay it's game time yeah look we didn't ask for this but here we are yeah look i don't want to go you don't want to go none of us want to go but there's a woman on the other side of this door and she's gonna be so fucking pissed if i don't hand her some urine so let's figure it out right now we're getting whatever's in there we're getting it out

somehow um yeah i i had to do a urine sample there as well and i was like as i was being there i was like i came back out i was like hey here's another thing um my stream's pretty weak while i'm sick he's like yeah well you're fighting 104 fever and i was like yeah yeah what does that mean i don't have any idea what that means those are connected and so yeah it's like i even and you you didn't think to tell the doctor like hey uh divorced from all of my symptoms my dick has been incredibly cooperative lately. Does that matter? Is that anything?

No, but I did think I should go tell the world this on a podcast. I should go talk to Dan about it and see if it's something he's dealt with. Nope. Sad to say it's not. Man, I don't even know how else to explain it. It's like different than even being on a run. like on a run, your, your dick is also very

polite, but in a different way where it's like, it does this thing where it's like, I'm going to, I'm going to more or less be out of your way, but like, I'm not just, it gets like real, like, really like tucks in, you know? Yeah. And, uh, but this is not what happens with a fever with a fever. I think because you're already so hot, he's like, well, I can there you know i can't go in there there's no ac and so he's like i'm gonna be out here and i'm sorry that i have to exist within this space but i'm gonna take up as little space as possible by just like i'm just gonna be like a lizard on a wall

good god i'm glad that we didn't do this one in person no god almighty yeah i mean we have to end the show now right yeah i don't know what we could do no we should end it okay well uh if you've been listening this is quick question i mean if you're still listening obviously uh you can follow us on twitter you can follow the show at qq underscore soren and dan you can follow each one of us you can follow daniel at dob underscore inc or you can follow me soren at soren underscore ltd we're on blue sky as well you could find us there but i don't actually know our what our handles are i

think like soaring.boo or something something is the show on blue sky oh there's no way michael got to that or threads is it possible i would i mean awesome um you can also find us, this is brand new on YouTube. We have a YouTube channel where you can come and watch some of these, uh, podcasts as well. We've filmed some where Dan and I are in the same room together looking so just so old and you can watch it at YouTube slash at QQ podcast. Um, I also want to thank the person you just heard, which is Gabe Harder. He's our sound engineer, our editor, pretty much all around great guy.

And you can also find our theme song by Merex called Quick Question. You can also find some of their other music at merex.bandcamp.com or wherever you listen to your streaming music. That's the show. If your

penis also does weird things sometimes when you're feverish not weird not weird polite please tell Soren tell me how respectful your penis is when you're sick alright goodbye I've got a quick quick question

for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick quick question for you, alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When will I be remembered? What's it up with? Where did all that go to?

Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here Thank you.