Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - That’s What Happens When You Bust

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

Daniel encountered an incompetent comedy juggler and a magical running track. Plus the guys litigate and divvy up blame in yet another gym altercation for Soren. Thank you to today's sponsors: FACTORmeals.com/qq50 and use code qq50 to get 50% off Thanks Raycon!  For a limited time, go to buyraycon.com/qq for 20% off your entire Raycon order.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? What do I be? What was it I could wear? What are we? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien

Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast, senior writer for Last Week Tonight, author of How to Fight Presidents, and cruise boy,iel o'brien joined as always

by my co-host mr soren buoy soren say hello um do you just did you delineate between like the the horn sounds of a car a cruise ship and say like a train like can you do those if you're at a gun to your head yeah uh is there are you telling me there's i can't see behind me right now is there a gun to my head yeah there's a gun and uh it first they want you to do just a car because that's the easy one oh my god that's really good thanks sword i don't want to brag but uh i get honked at a lot when I'm driving. People are not pleased with how I handle the road. Please join us in thanking our sponsor, Factor, delivering delicious, fresh, never frozen meals that are ready to heat and eat in two minutes.

Head to factormeals.com slash QQ50 and use code QQ50 to get 50% off. Thanks to Raycon for supporting Quick Question. School's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back-to-school sale. For a limited time, only go to buyraycon.com slash qq today to get 20% off site-wide plus free shipping. All right, we'll do a cruise ship. Yeah, I like that. And now please do a cruise ship. Yeah, I like that.

And now please do a train. This is going to be my weakest because I don't know how to vocalize it. Yeah, I know. Nope. I was in trouble pretty early on. I do it with my kids a lot just because we play with ships and stuff like that. And I have to do the noises. Just because we play with ships and stuff like that.

And I have to do the noises. And boy, the difference between a ship and a train really drove me crazy for a while. It's also, it's really strange that like when you're doing animal noises with kids and you want to make them, you want to teach them what the thing sounds like. That's going to stay pretty consistent, but it's tough. I don't know if your son is there yet, but at some point you're going to have to tell him, now son, you're old enough to know this. Trains don't go choo-choo, choo-choo. tough i don't know if your son is there yet but at some point you're gonna have to tell him now son you're old enough to know this trains don't go choo choo choo choo they just don't that's one of the other lies we train you on i don't know why we do it we train you on uh yeah he hey he never really did that but he was you know i've talked about before he didn't talk for a very

long time he would just do car noises and like i would be at uh my brother's house or something and he'd just be on the ground going and just like driving a car around for long periods of time and my brother would be like is he okay yeah i think so i think it's fine he's better than okay listen how fast he is yeah um but he would do because i did car noises with him when he was really little he emulated my car noises in the same way that like in a different culture like a rooster doesn't go cockle doodle do it goes kikity kikity key like whoever you whoever tells you how it sounds is like oh they're the ones who broke it i will copy that right um so he actually is really good at car noises he's wonderful wonderful at it. That's cool.

Let me see if I can do it. Let me see if I can do... So first of all, car... I mean, this isn't even going to hold a candle to yours, but I do like a... Oh, wow. Ahuga! That makes me feel like you're going to be good at train

because there's like you have to split your throat to make the whistle sound also happen and i couldn't do that one other point i think i'll make is that um the reason my cars uh was as as amazing as it was you really got in my head because you're like let's start with the easy one car go easy yeah you ever heard don't say don't say honk that's what i would have done uh honk honk um you ever done you ever heard tignitaro do her impression of a bike horn no it's it's unbelievable yeah tignitaro famous comedian very funny she does one impression and it's of a bike horn and it's fucking so spot on that i'm like that's a really good bit to only have one impression and be it

an inanimate object and nail it and for a person who uh if you if you've watched five minutes of her stand-up you would not clock her as oh this is an impression comedian this is someone who's gonna do not even impressions, but silly voices or silly noises. That's just not her vibe at all. That's very funny for her. She does like a, I can't replicate it.

So yeah, obviously cruise ship did mine earlier. It was a, but then a train horn, God, on the spot, it it's tough it's like a yeah no you know what i'm not i gotta get into the character is the problem i need to like figure out what kind of train and i don't have my uh my headphones for podcasting are not wireless because what i want what i what i want to do I want to be able to move for a train sound because I can't think of a train sound

without thinking of it passing me and getting louder and then getting quieter. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, that would really add to it. Yeah. Added dimension to it. Anyway, Daniel, sorry to take us on this tangent. Are you going on a cruise, good sir?

I got back from a cruise. Oh, a family cruise. Yeah, my whole family. And just to get ahead of one thing, the strike has not been a vacation for any of us striking. This cruise was booked maybe seven months ago uh to align with a planned work hiatus and it was uh money already spent back when i bent back when the money was never going to go away um so it's not like i i'm just self-conscious of the idea of just like uh the image of of writers using this strike time to to travel around and do things that was not this particular case it was summer everybody's traveling i used that time i did

something i'd never done before which is go to wisconsin and get lyme disease right and i i wanted to just give that a shot which is which is badly you know exactly what the studios have been saying these selfish writers they just want to get Lyme disease. They want all the experiences. They're like sponges. So Dan, I got a lot of questions. First of all, there's alcohol in this cruise, right? And is it included?

It is not included, but we splurged for the package. And there are several caveats to that. The first thing I'll say is like the reason that we did a Bermuda cruise and got the nicer package is because this year coincides with milestone birthdays for both of my parents. And they are cruise crazy folks. And the siblings and sisters-in-law and i got together and we just knew we wanted like not just to get them a cruise because they liked cruise but cruises but specifically we have a a big and now mixed family that we are almost never all

together for extended periods of time because families are going to different in-laws and whatnot for holidays and stuff. We get like one day a year where the entire family is together for a meal. And then the rest of it is just like whatever groups can assemble for different things. But this time we were committed, like, let's get all the kids, all the grandkids and the grandparents on one boat for five days and let's make it a nice trip with with the fancy package for alcohol that said caveat number one about cruises uh which which will probably come as no surprise is that they as soon as you get the nice package and and close the deal you get emails from the crews that is like hey do you want to upgrade to the really nice package where like like you get open bar but like it's open bar to a point

now this other package has the things that you want and it's i know i've beaten this drum before uh about like airplanes specifically where they just they keep finding new better things oh you're in the gold club that's really cool there's also the platinum club and there's the pilot's platinum club like all these these different tiers that are better than the thing you thought you were getting when you thought you're more specificity yeah um so to be absolutely clear it was a very fun cruise i mean i mean ask your questions yeah uh i've never been on a cruise i'm i am very curious about them i'm curious about them in the same way that i'm very curious about a senior citizen home where like i love the idea of it i love the idea of living like with all my buddies, like it's college, or being all in the same area.

In practice, though, people come back from cruises and they're like, I hate cruises. Sometimes they're cruise people, but other people who are like, no, I'm never doing it again. I'm like, well, why not? And they're like, the reasons are always so weird. They're like, well, everyone gets norovirus. And I'm like, did you?

I'm like, no, but that's just what happens on cruises okay and then other people say that it's you're just so trapped and i'm like the cruise ship i've seen a cruise ship it's huge yeah i've been places where i just spent all that time in a hotel it's the same thing what's the real issue i would say my my opinion on cruises based on limited data is uh mid-range i'm not cruise crazy right now but i'm not i hate cruises i'm never gonna go to cruise again i i i think to help you understand it it's for for me there are a lot of i made a lot of comparisons to uh going to vegas for the first time and how it both met and fell wildly short of my expectations. My impression when I was going to Vegas for the first time was like,

this is Vegas. We're going to dress up in suits. We're going to get our nice haircuts and we're going to be like high rollers doing this fancy thing. And there are some people who do that, but there's also a whole lot of trash there. And I kind of had that same expectation going into the cruises where it's like cruise, because we grew up the way we did and never took cruises as a family, existed in my brain as like the height of luxury.

My aunt Patty, shout out to aunt Patty who was listening, when we were younger and she had talked about a cruise she was like you can go and you you sit by the pool and they bring you chicken fingers and i was like there can't be anything in the world fancier than being on a pool on a boat and being fed chicken fingers on demand that is gotta be the height of luxury so i went into this thinking like this is uh very fancy vacation mode we're gonna have mimosas and we're all gonna we're all gonna dress like we're in vacation mode like we got we i got fucking nine different annoying hawaiian bermuda shirts button down shirts and nine is a lot loud bathing suits for a five-day cruise just all the stuff and like different options so like oh we're gonna

there maybe there's a night where we can all dress up we had a black and white night where we're wearing fancy clothes and i brought a sports coat because i it's my expectation is that like, yeah, it's a boat and it's vacation. But, you know, we're, we're according to a 12 year old's imagination, the fanciest people on the planet. And some people, same as Vegas, they do have that same instinct. They get the memo and they're like, we're going to, we're going to be on this boat with our friends or family and it's vacation.

And there are gonna be a lot of pictures taken. So dress like we're in a commercial for this boat with our friends or family and it's vacation. And there are going to be a lot of pictures taken. So dress like we're in a commercial for cruises all the time. But there are people also like Vegas who are like, no, I'm on fucking vacation. It's armpits out all day. It's shitty shorts. I'm so glad I get to be in a casino and smoke at the same time, which is another thing you could do in Vegas and on a boat.

And that's part of why I'm doing this trip is so i can smoke indoors again i don't know why that's so important to me but it is and that's all i want to do on vacation is dress like a piece of shit and smoke indoors yeah so it's it's a mixed bag i i feel like i've painted an accurate picture of cruises in general that said the college dorm and nursing home comparison is pretty apt too because no matter what else is going on i was again with my entire family and that's the people who i spent my time with and it's super fun it's it's you know you spend time with the people that you want and like i got to have dinner with my whole family a couple of days in a row and that doesn't really happen we took a snorkeling trip and we got to have dinner with my whole family a couple of days in a row. And that doesn't really happen.

We took a snorkeling trip and we got to jump off cliffs, my favorite thing. And just like, you know, you wander around this boat that has a million bars and a casino and a bunch of restaurants and water slides and a jogging track and a mini golf course and basketball hoops. And you wander around and you just bump into your family. You bump into the people that you want to see. It's like, oh, hey, what are you doing? You want to, it's three o'clock in the afternoon. You want to get hot dogs at the buffet?

Let's fucking do it. We're, it's the sea. Who cares? You don't have anywhere to be. None of us have internet. Let's just look at each other and talk. That's the other element of that, of being on a cruise that is deeply appealing to me is that there's just like food ready for you at all hours of the day and that you just want you're like well let's go

eat something and you walk you're like i guess i'll have some soft serve right now no i changed my mind i want a waffle and you can just do that right that's they're they're prepared for that it's awesome uh and i that because when i go on trips that's always like the thing that brings me the most um anxiousness is the food situations like what are we gonna everybody's gonna want something different we're all gonna have to decide together then we gotta go to a restaurant and we're like make sure we get a table big enough for all of us we got to worry about bill we like all these things and it seems like on a cruise they're like no no no don't worry about food it's like being a child again yeah like you just play and play and play until you're hungry and then you're like oh my god i'm starving somebody feed me oh thank you it's really changed uh the way i operate with food uh for i enjoyed at the time but definitely

for the like for my diet sake definitely for the worst where i'm just like oh you know what i could really go for right now is chicken fingers mac and cheese a hot dog and what else do they have oh there's a ramen station yeah i guess sure when else am i gonna have all of this at the same time i love going into a place and being like, I hope they surprise me. Let's see what's out there. A chicken au jus, what is that? That sounds great. I think that the worst and most decadent thing that I did multiple times at a vague approximation of lunchtime, I went to the french fry station and got some fries on my plate and then i was going to wander around to find what my actual meal was going to be and by

the time i did a lap i'd eaten all the french fries while moving and then got more french fries to accompany whatever my meal was because again we don't allow french fries in my home i never have them and and this place is just it's just begging me to take them yeah it's like they have too many the surplus of french fries um and then rooms are the rooms really tiny uh we got a small room everyone else in my family because they they were traveling with with kids or they were my parents and this was like a gift to them we got them a room with a balcony and uh like some standing room and some sitting room even and my my belief was we're not going to be the the ship is huge we are not going to be we're in the room only for sleeping um why are we paying an extra however many hundred dollars because the jump from like the cheapest room to a nicer room is significant a decision I regretted it was because it's true

that you like if you're spending your entire time in the room you are doing the cruise wrong but there's something to be said for this is where I'm going to sit and have my coffee and there's something to be said for this is where i'm gonna sit and have my coffee and there's just no real room for that in the the the cheapest and most economy of windowless dungeon rooms on the cruise you don't even get one of those little portal windows no no oh no uh okay and and surely there was a tv in there though right there was but we never used it because i i as soon as i walked in it was doing things like hotels do where they just tell you all about the cruise and i'm like yeah fuck this get out of here well i'm just next time if you just pop that on american dad and just let it play for a while i wouldn't i wouldn't complain i apologize that was not that goes for everybody

out there if you say you're gonna you're gonna sleep on a plane just for like you're not gonna be looking at it but just like for me just right on american statistically even if you're in some situation where the tv only has six channels one of them's american dad one of them is the american dad channel you're gonna have the cruise channel the weather channel the American Dad channel. You're going to have the Cruise channel, the Weather channel, the American Dad channel, and the Ridiculousness channel. Yeah. By the way, American Dad is on two of those, by the way. So a really good chance you'll find it.

It's basically a sweet child of mine on a classic rock station. It's going to be on your radio right now. I promise you. Hey, we're coming up on the holiday season, folks. I know it's approaching quickly. If you think about it, like after Halloween, they just, it's just a domino effect. They all start coming and you get busy.

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and this is um it's probably very obvious in retrospect but it's it's i hadn't anticipated it but it's like the the smartest thing the crews can do which is they have like whatever they call the splash Academy for kids and teens and like Guppy Academy for very little kids and you you drop them off and then you pick them up later and their drop off times we've seen to be like yeah drop them off at 9 p.m. and pick them up at 1. Parents are not allowed in here. It's safe. We're taking care of them.

Go. The problem they're solving is they know parents probably think like, oh, if I put my kids to bed, I can't just leave my kids. But I want to like party and drink on this boat. And Splash Academy is like, yeah, no, we got that. Your kid is going to be so excited that they get to stay up until 1am that it doesn't even matter what happens in here and man the kids were fucking stoked all the time they were really crazy about going to splash zone all the kids in the family and I was I had me walking by when, when a dad was dropping off a kid and the, I heard the dad talking to the wife and go, they're so, what do you think goes on in there?

They're so excited to get there. They're never, they've never been this excited. And the mom just said, ah, video games probably, which is probably true. I would guess that the entire thing is like, here's some crafts. Here's a TV with disney movies disney movies you've seen a million times here is a mario kart tournament here is minecraft whatever kids are fortnight whatever whatever they're doing and when you when you're a kid and you spend an entire day on a boat uh doing fun pool stuff i'm sure you're also just like, you get video game withdrawals and you just want to return to your friends

and your normal screen time. And the boat allows for that. And it's such a gift to parents. Yeah. That's the other element of cruises that really shines high for me, is that you get to actually have a vacation. Yeah. There's like a whole, because so many vacations, I'm about to get to actually have a vacation. Yeah. There's like a whole, cause so many vacations, I'm about to go to Legoland this weekend and

I'm just like really gearing myself up for it because I know that it's going to be tough as a parent to be there. It's hot, it's crowded. Your kids want very different things. They're hungry all the time or tired. Like you are there for them. And that's how most vacations are for us now in our lives and the idea that you would go

somewhere and then they've also accounted for the fact that like oh no and we'll also take your children thank you very much yeah is the dream do you have you ever do you have any interest in going on a cruise yeah of course a lot of interest but uh it that for the same reason as a nursing home, the minute I get there and it's not what I wanted, I'm stuck. I don't know if there's a way out. So I've always been very nervous about it. And my family disparaged them growing up.

Why? It wasn't like that was the height of luxury. It was like, oh, no, those are cruise people. That's a different breed. We don't do that was like the height of luxury. It was like, oh no, those are cruise people. Like that's a different, that's a different breed. We don't, we don't do that. Oh, wow. Yeah. It seems so luxurious to me.

And like, I remember being in middle and elementary school and kids coming back from their summer cruises and just thinking like, man, that's the, that's the ticket. Yeah. It's gotta be great for kids. It's gotta be an unbelievable experience. It's like summer camp basically, but on a giant boat. Did you do a lot of running? I did, yeah.

There was a jogging track, but it's not, and this particular boat was not like completely isolated. And so the first time I ran, I was running at like 1130 in the morning and it's near where other people are congregating. And like the track is clearly marked and there are things that say run this way. So I'm running, but I'm also like on your left,

I'm constantly dodging people or I'm slowing my run because there's people and they don't expect me to be there and at that time i'm annoyed that people are walking on the on the jogging track and not paying attention but i'm also very aware of the fact that like i'm an asshole too i'm the asshole who's running at 11 30 on vacation day And so every other time I ran after that, was it like seven, seven 30 range? Yeah. Or I ran in Bermuda when we were there, which is a lovely place.

And there's something great Soren. Maybe you understand the science of this better than I do, but the track on this boat says for um uh a mile you have to do eight laps that's how long this okay this course was and so so like your standard high school track is going to be four laps that's standard everywhere it's okay so this was half the size and so I'm running eight and I am running like a 630 mile consistently. Wow. And I tried to use on the second day I ran, I tried to use my mileage app that I always use. And that also was not helpful because in acquiring my GPS signal, it's counting my steps, but also it's like I'm moving the speed of the boat.

So then I'm running three minute miles because it's just tracking where I am physically in the world. And I'm like, well, that's not right either. But like doing my own mental math of how many laps i'm doing i feel like i'm i'm i'm faster than i've ever been and i was talking to my brothers who also ran on it and i was like is it just because it's such a small lap that it feels it like mentally makes me move faster because it just feels so much more encouraging and my brother suggested that like you are moving and the boat is moving. So every time you're in the air, you're moving a little bit faster or a little bit farther. No, that's not true.

All right. Because for the same reason that like, even if you have all the windows down in your car, if you drop a ball, like an inflated ball, like in your car, it's just going to fall right down. Cause all the air in that particular area is moving with you. Do you know what I mean? Unless you're like up there on the track and it's crazy windy because of how fast you're moving, then I could get behind that idea.

But for the most part, like air that's wit around you in that particular area like there's i imagine some shielding on the that part of the cruise boat that air is moving along with you well then i guess the answer is i was just super fucking fast on vacation that might be it might also be that they they're not right like that's that was my other my other theory was like, this, uh, doesn't seem like it could be true. It doesn't add up. Like you look at the track and you're like,

God, it looks small. Yeah. All right. Eight. If they say it's eight, it's eight. I'm halfway done with this and it's two and a half minutes.

I mean, that'd be great. I don't think I can submit that for my new york marathon qualifier um and one last question did you guys see stand up on your boat uh no i did not go to the stand-up it was stand-up though it was available but i did not go okay i'm very curious there was uh stand up one of my one one pod of family members uh went to the the comedy juggler and he was not funny and couldn't juggle which makes it my favorite abstract bit of all time is he just fucking up a lot yeah and then like no good timing with his punchlines correct

that's wonderful uh and he got that job anyway wonderful yeah good for him um um dan i wanted to if we can for a second steer away from cruises uh i don't know if i should even tell you this i got another gym altercation If we can, for a second, steer away from cruises. Sure. I don't know if I should even tell you this. I got another gym altercation. Buddy. So it's pretty clear at this point that the problem is me. Right?

Like, I'm a... We've been out in the wild together. I'm a mild-mannered person. Yeah. I don't look for confrontation. In fact, I hate it. But something about... You hate confrontation, but you do like justice. I do like justice a lot.

That might be the problem. And I like it more in my old age, to the point that I'm becoming one of those type of people who's like, well, maybe I'll just get on next door. When I suffer an injustice. Everyone should know about it. Right. This man was older than me.

And what happened was I was sitting on a 90 degree bench. You know, the type that you would do for like shoulder presses and stuff. Yeah. Or ordinarily you have like the flat benches that you can adjust. And then there's like some that are just, they're rigid. You can't change them. It's a seat. And the 90 degree up from that is a little back. And that's all you're working with. I was on one of those and I was doing bicep curls and I go to, I finished with the weights that I've got and I go to put them away and there's other weights in the spot. And the gym that I'm going to is like, they're

really good about putting weights where they belong. And so I feel an onus to do the same thing. So I'm like, Oh, not right. So I take the line out. I take these other weights out. I put mine where they go.

I take these weights over to the other side of the big weight thing and put those back. When I come back, there's a man who's probably like 55 and he's sitting on the seat. And I'm like, I do this the same thing I always do, which is I sorry, but I've actually got one more set there. That's like that was the extent of it. And usually this is how the interaction goes. Oh, I'm

sorry, I didn't realize. All right, you said you want more? No problem. That's how it usually goes. This time I go, I got one more set there. And he goes, no, you don't. And I was like, what? And I laughed. I went, what? And he goes, what do you mean? And I was like, I was on that.

I was on that bench and I have one more set to do. And he was like, well, wait. And I was like, I'm no, I'm not doing that. I have one more set. I was on that. I get to do it again. Like I'm feeling very self-righteous and getting kind of excited by the fact that this man is, is wrong.

And so like, I'm getting louder too. And I'm like, no, I've got one more set there. Just let me do it. And then you can have the bench. And he's like, well, where were you? And I was like, doesn't fucking matter. Give me the bench. You guys know me. You know, I love to run. I never stopped talking about running. I am dual training right now to increase my speed and to prepare for a half marathon. So I'm always listening to music and the music helps me

dictate the kind of run I'm going to have. If I'm going for a distance run, I will listen to either a podcast or a playlist of a bunch of musical theater songs that allow me to disassociate. If I'm going for speed, you know I need a lot of bass and a strong beat and a lot of BPM and it's got to get me moving fast so I can be going the distance. And Raycon is great for me. It's great for all those things that I do, whether I'm listening to a podcast or listening to musical theater or listening to music to make me faster. They even have different sound profiles to meet my needs. Pure sound is one that's perfect for podcasts. And meanwhile, bass sound, guess what I use that for buddies? It's fall. Pure sound is one that's perfect for podcasts. And meanwhile, bass sound, guess what I use that for, buddies?

It's fall, and you know what that means. Everyone's busy. And audio is a big part of my fall schedule. I like to keep my apartment clean for a bunch of fall parties and Halloween stuff that I'm gonna have. And there's nothing better than popping in Raycons and listening to my favorite podcasts while I'm cleaning the apartment for fall cleaning. That's right, cleaning. It's not just for spring anymore.

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of other premium audio brands. I love the earbud tap functions. I love that they can interact with Siri and Alexa and I just can talk to them that way also they are ipx6 water and splash resistant school's back in session which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale for a limited time only go to buyraycon.com QQ today to get 20 off site-wide plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash QQ. Is it worth it to stop down for our listeners? Because if I curl weights once, that's a rep. If I do that eight times, that's a set. And you could do like multiple sets.

You work multiple sets on... Typically, you can work multiple sets on one muscle or one muscle group and then move on to another thing for more sets. Or you could do super sets where you're going back and forth and things. And typical gym, uh, courtesy is if someone's got one more set, like Soren is saying here, you could say, Oh, by all means, finish your set. And I'll go after you because it doesn't take much for the new guy to wait for you. It does take much for you to interrupt the amount of sets that you were going to do for this particular chunk of your workout.

Another alternative to that is like if there is one bench press in the whole gym and you're going on and you just started, someone can say, can I work in with you? And then you alternate back and forth just started, someone can say, can I work in with you? And then you alternate back and forth on sets, changing weights as needed until you're both, until you climax or until you can't go anymore, which as it's known in gym culture is called busting. So you both bust.

And you have to say it when you're done each time. You say, I bust, I bust. And then you're a little bit tired, a little bit guilty, but it's whatever. You move on. What this gentleman in Soren's story is suggesting doesn't happen. That's frowned upon. Sorry. Yeah, I should have given some context here.

Yeah. So like you have an exercise, like there's a particular exercise you're doing, like a squat, like squats. That's the exercise. Then within that, you're going to be doing sets and you probably do four sets of different weight. And then within each set, you're doing different reps. That's how many times you go up and down or like do the exercise. Like you're going to do 12 sets for four reps and that's your extra, I mean, four reps for 12 sets. I just, God damn it. You're going to be doing 12 reps for four sets and then that's your exercise. And then you move on to a different exercise.

You know, I thought my explanation was, was clear, but this is better too. I think it's better. It's good in its own way. I think. Um, and so, yeah, the, yeah, generally what happens is if you get to the end at the same time, or you haven't begun yet, you can say, Hey, you want to work in that's it's all customary. Like that's normal stuff. This is abnormal behavior for somebody to be like, well, I'm on it now.

Like to slide in also. And depending on the exercise, it could be oblique, normal behavior. Yeah, it is. put me back to work it's it's so common for you to even when you get to a bench to stand there next to it for a second and just look around and be like I wonder if anyone was using this anybody and like you're just like making eye contact people and sometimes you'll see somebody down the line who's like grabbing new weights and you're like are you on this no like yeah yeah and you're like, are you on this? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, okay. And that's all like normal gym behavior. This was absolutely wild to me. And that's why I was getting so self-righteous with it. And he's like,

at a certain point, he's like, he's like, well, I'm on it now. And I was like, you're not yet. I have one more set. And he's like, you guys, you're always off on your other, on some other piece of equipment, just sitting there on your phone. And I was like, I don't need, I ran to the gym and I was like, I don't even have a phone on me. I'm not that fucker. Wow. Say fucker loud.

And now people are turning. Yeah. Guess why? And I was like, I'm, I was going to put weights away. I'm back now. It took me five seconds. And he's like, okay, well, that's all you had to say was that you're putting weights away. And I was like, well, just assume that that's. I'm back now. It took me five seconds. And he's like, okay, well, that's all you had to say was that you're putting weights away. And I was like, well, just assume that

that's what I'm doing. Assume that for everybody else in this gym, please. And like, I am, I'm now heated and excited by the fact that I'm right. Yes. So I'm making some choices that I regret where I'm like yelling now. And he finally like begrudgingly gets up. I sit down and really take my time. Take my time with my last set. I don't know, buddy. Because, yeah, because now I'm like, I'm right. I'm right.

I'm the good guy. I'm the good guy. No matter what I do. I'm right. I'm the good guy. I'm the good guy. No matter what I do from this point on, I'm the good guy. And then I do my set. I put this stuff back, and then I walk away. And I'm off on some other exercise, and I'm still like, he should get more of this. I didn't end up. So I had some self-restraint.

I did never approach him again. I did walk past him a few times where I was like going to different pieces of equipment to see if he would catch eyes with me and also to see if, because as I'm like working myself up in some other quadrant of the gym, I'm thinking,

he should apologize. Oh no. He should say, I'm sorry to me. Because that never happened. Once he realized that he was in the wrong, all he said was, well, you should have. And that's not what a human being should be, should do. They should apologize when they're wrong. And so like, I'm like walking past him being like, I wonder if now that he's had a chance to cool down. And obviously I did not cool

down. Right. But yeah, he's had a chance to cool down. Maybe he wants to say he's sorry and wouldn't make eye contact with me. We never talked again. And then by the end, I was like, finally had cooled down. And I was like, nope, I'm the problem. I'm the one. I'm the guy.

These things keep happening because of me. I gotta look into this. I don't know if they keep happening because of me uh oh i gotta look into this i don't know if they keep happening because of you i was surprised that you were going to demand an apology like someone who had i wasn't going to read most of the biography of julius caesar and decided you know how it ends he stays hero and good and loved forever i i wanted it bad i wanted to be like hey man i'm i'm so sorry but and that didn't happen so i was like he thinks i'm just gonna go away well i'm not i'm not i'm don't stay right here and just watching my watching me from like a distance just turn into this weird terrible person

yeah that's that's that's very out of character for you yeah i know but i had only maybe i'm changing i had one not even a dream all the gym all vacation but but uh one thing i can't recommend on a cruise ship is going to the gym because it is too small and our particular boat on this day was really rocking so it was the most i don't get seasick but this hell yeah i thought i was going to like actually vomit because i'm i'm moving weights as the boat is moving and i'm just like i don't think this is good for people to do. And so it's very cramped and people are like unsteady on their feet. Uh, so the, the, the crampness was, was a problem, but also you can't, you never know if someone's going to tip over into your space

or if you're going to tip over. So it was constantly a game of like trying to move as out, as out of the way as you possibly could. And I was never in one spot for too long. I would do one exercise somewhere and then when I went to go change weights, someone was in that spot. I'm like, all right, I guess I'll wedge myself in between the water fountain and this employee only door because I can't imagine anyone being there.

And there's one very tall, very fit who uh i think only took this cruise to work out at the gym he kept talking to people while they were working out and like asking them like standard gym questions about what they're using or how long they're going to be somewhere and i couldn't ever really hear what he was saying, but he was always talking too much. The conversations were always too long and they didn't seem friendly or anything. And I'm just, I could sense the vibe. A lot of us were like me, where we just wanted to like get whatever tiny dipshit workout we can get in and then get out of the situation because it feels unsafe and unpleasant.

And at one point I, as I'm wedging myself into different corners, trying to occupy as little space as possible, I find myself next to a rack of pre-weighted bars, the kinds of bars that you would do curls on. I'm just on the ground, and my workout at this point calls for a minute-long plank. So I'm just doing that and then I feel this guy's presence as I'm doing it and I hear him above me going like hey I don't want you to be scared or anything or nervous I'm gonna reach over you and get one of these bars

I just don't want you to be surprised or I don't want you to get up real quick. That's like very comforting. It's too many words to say it like a necessary and helpful thing because you never know. I didn't have headphones on, but there's a chance that I could like get up in the middle of a workout and bonk into something or just get spooked in some way. But as soon as he's talking to me, I in full fucking plank, like plank walk away from him so he can have that space. And I'm still, like, looking at my watch to see how much longer I have to hold this stupid plank. And then he whispers at the back of my head again, You didn't need to move. Oh, my God.

I was just letting you know so you wouldn't be nervous or scared. And I was like, got it. And that was the end of our interaction. But I wanted to say so much more. It's like, I'm still doing a thing right now. I don't, your problem is over now. For anyone who doesn't go to the gym too, another like big rule, cardinal sin of gym etiquette

is talking to somebody while they're in the middle of a set. Yeah. Like while they're doing a thing, like if you come up, you're like, are you, how much longer are you on this bench? Or like, how do you need the space? Like, don't do it. Just wait. It takes 30 seconds. Cause nobody's going to be doing an exercise for like a super long time. Right. If

you just wait, just wait. If you need a 60 pound bar to do curls, don't worry. I can't do a plank for 40 minutes. It's going to end soon. Uh, this guy just wants to talk though he's just like a chatterbox right he wants people yeah it's so comforting actually to know that that's true of gyms even on a cruise because that guy is at every gym yeah every single gym i've ever been to when i'm staying in a hotel in hawaii i will run into that guy. Like it doesn't matter. There's just a guy there who's like so desperate for conversation. Yeah. And I love that that guy is also on cruises.

I know. I've done a lot of projecting on this guy who was like, I think he's alone on this cruise. I don't think he's here with friends or family i think he loves the gym and the pool and can't wait to find a local retro fitness in bermuda or something like that this is just a guy who is going to be at the gym all day and i'm going to guess the casino all night looking to talk to people and make friends. It's a darker form of like the desperate guy at a gym than anywhere else I think. I think that everywhere else it's like, you run into chatterboxes all over the world.

Like your taxi drivers sometimes, there's just like different people where you're like, they wanna talk to you so much, barbers. But at a gym, that guy always just, there's like a menace to it yeah um that i i don't find anywhere else i think it's just the the type of lifestyle of somebody who's like i'm going to get as strong as i possibly can but also i really want to interact with people yeah uh i went to a gym in tucson when i was staying there over christmas and the same guy i see him two days in a row and he's walking around showing

pictures of his new girlfriend to people that he just met yeah i know and i don't think she would like that um talking about how hot she is and how great the sex is with people he's just like he's like hunting people out looking for eye contact so that he can have this conversation and it's like the the the in i don't it's not i mean there's no like one-to-one violence there but there's like a real darkness to it that there is i think there there are a thousand reasons to go to the gym right and one of those reasons is i'm going to get so strong that no one can mess with me i'm going to get so strong and so big and there's uh an undercurrent of coiled violence even if you're not necessarily if you've never thrown a punch in your life

that is one reason a person can go to the gym and some of the people who have that as their one reason walk into the gym thinking ah yes these are my people we are all here for this we're all here training to be in this in this this strange aggressive army together these are my people and like some of them are many of them are not some of us are just like just we like going to the gym or it's it's a way to stay healthy or it's it's a thing to stay healthy or it's it's a thing you do with your partner or whatever it is a million reasons that don't uh have a choose your own adventure chapter where one of the options is total mass violence right um you're absolutely right i think you're absolutely right and i think so too and i like the way i said

it introspective enough i came off as that guy in my last altercation and so i'm just like i'm kind of dealing with that if i'm quiet for a second because i'm just like thinking that through and how to not be that guy how to because for all everyone else do because they're all wearing headphones i start talking to a guy i walk up to a man i start talking to him then i start yelling at him right and then i yell fucker to anyone else within earshot it's like i don't even have a phone i'm not one of those fuckers this guy doesn't have a phone oh no he doesn't even know what the world is like i hope he doesn't talk like. I hope he doesn't talk to me. I hope he doesn't talk to me.

Where does he get his news? How does he talk to his family? There's a guy at my current gym who is a real chatterbox. Maybe I talked about him on this podcast already. He is a guy who is desperate to make eye contact with you so that just a conversation can start. And I've never given it to him. I just, I refuse to give it to him. And so I, he will come in like, he wants to talk, he knows everybody. He knows every single person in the gym. So when he walks in, he says their names, he gives them a fist bump and he wants it

from me because I'm not giving it to him. And so he will come over if I'm doing dips or something like that or pull-ups, he'll come over and be on like the assisted machine next to it and he'll be like, it's a hot one out there. Just like talking to himself, just hoping that anything he throws at the wall, something will catch.

And I give him nothing. And he's relentless. It's not like he's like, well, this guy doesn't seem to want to talk. Every time I go now, and then he's now, he's escalated it to where he gets on his phone next to me. Or I think it probably does this to other people who are not also with it. He gets on his phone and starts having a conversation he thinks is very interesting about what he's going to be doing later. And then hangs up.

So I don't even know if the phone call is fucking real but like talking a lot about a concert or like his weekend and then hanging up and and so he the hope i think is that someone's like oh man you're going to vegas i love vegas it's not gonna i'm he's not gonna get that and it's driving him mad and i don't know how to fix it because uh you can't i can't i don't indulge it but i also i seem to be escalating the situation we talked about this uh years ago a guy at a coffee shop at the local coffee shop in the town where he used to live very small town and he was in the coffee shop every day i was too i was working every day out of the coffee shop and he knew everybody and wanted to talk to everybody.

And I was not engaging with him. And it went on for months until he finally was just like, stopped me in line and was like, I see you every day and I don't know your name or what you do. And we did the same story before but I said that's interesting as a way of shutting it down like I do my very best to communicate a message to him that was like don't want to talk you don't need to know everybody's name or what they do like I don't know most people's names or

what they do and that's okay but like there's no people like this guy at the coffee shop and this guy at your gym they if they self-identify as a friendly person and and for all we know they are friendly people uh they can't conceive of a world where people wouldn't want to know them and they think i just haven't i just haven't had the right fake phone call yet, or I haven't said the right thing loud enough around him to perk his interest. So I just got to, because he likes me, he'll like me. I just got to find the right thing. And like a baseline entitlement of, I get to talk to everybody,

no matter what they're doing, that is in certain circumstances very menacing and dangerous i think you're i think it goes right back to what you're saying before about like they're like these people come in thinking ah no this is my community i didn't have one before and this will be it right and so like when that's their community they're like and we all know each other because this is the community and who is this person who keeps coming to the community doing their shit and leaving without saying hello to anyone? That's rude. Yeah.

And so in their mind, they're like, they're trying to do you a favor. They're like, you maybe don't know this. You're being pretty rude to everybody here. All right, well, let's end the show. Yeah, all right. All right. I hope you don't think too seriously about this being your villain turn. That's not.

I mean, I didn't like how I acted at the end. And I did do some good introspection about that. And it makes me think like next time how I could handle it better. But in the moment, it felt so good. Good. That's troubling. Yeah. Okay.

Hey, man, that's just what happens when you bust the show is quick question but you knew that already we recorded edited and produced by the irreplaceable gabe harder our theme song is by the incredible me rex their digital album is available at me rex.bandcamp.com and also follow them on twitter because they've got some exciting stuff coming out in the next couple of weeks. And you could follow them on Twitter at me, Rex band, all one word. They have an album coming out and I want to say what the date is, but it's in the date is in British. So is that okay? It goes day first. I think it's October 20th, 2023, or it's the 10th day of, then month. I think it's October 20th, 2023. Or it's the 10th day of a different month. They do day first, then month.

Okay, yeah. 10, 20, 23. Giant Elk, the new album. Were you concerned that maybe it was the 20th month you didn't know about that they have one of those in England? Yeah, I thought like maybe like some, they don't have all 26 letters in every alphabet so maybe in in the uk somewhere they're like no no no 20 is a much rounder number than 12 so we just our christmas is on the 20th month well to go check that out go listen to their music they're wonderful it's such a good theme song for us

I wonder I mean if they've got a tour coming up very far away from us I wonder if they ever under any circumstances play that song live I have to guess no oh man

that would be so exciting for me to find that out. Hey, do you all think, listen, this next song we're gonna play, I need about 10 minutes to explain what it is. Right. Or just, they're at a big show in the UK somewhere and someone's like,

oi, I got a quick question. They'll just be like, no. We don't practice that song, you idiot. Yeah, I wanna know if the live version's different. We don't practice that song, you idiot. Yeah. I want to know if the live version's different. If they do a little jam band thing where there's also a little solo in the middle of it. Yeah. All right.

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Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Question for you, alright I wanna hear your thoughts I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick Question for you, alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What did I be?

What did I do? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here It's all right now.