Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - The ACTUAL Tacozilla episode

Episode Date: August 14, 2022

Boy oh boy we used the wrong title on the last episode, but this time you ACTUALLY get to figure out what a TacoZilla is.  And as always big thanks to our sponsors.  20% off an at-home lab test at everlywell.com/qq. Thanks  Avast.com!

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up with? What do we talk about? I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien When will I be remembered? Was it afterwards? Where did all that go to? Oh, forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien

Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast, senior writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, author of How to Fight Presidents, and beach trash Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bui. Soren, say aloha.

Aloha, everyone. I'm Soren Bui. I'm a writer for American Dad. I'm also, I'm dealing with a class action lawsuit regarding burrito glue. If you've been using burrito glue, please stop using at this point. I will give you a partial refund if you send the tube back to us. Thank you very much. You know what I think would solve your burrito problems? What is that? Some kind of like edible burrito diaper, because that's what we're talking about, right? It's just like the bottom end of it that you don't want exploding out and leaking out anywhere, right?

Yeah. I'm realizing what you're describing out and leaking out anywhere. Right? Yeah. I'm realizing what you're describing is actually tinfoil. Yes. Yes. And that there's a lot of burritos that have that most burritos. In fact, yes. The tinfoil.

Yes. A tinfoil would be a nice little addition to this, but, but the burrito glue allows you to do this at home where tinfoil, you just wasted a bunch of tinfoil would be a nice little addition to this. But the burrito glue allows you to do this at home. Where tinfoil, you just waste a bunch of tinfoil if you try it. Could you imagine making a burrito at home and then wrapping the back of it in tinfoil? Yes. I don't have to imagine it.

I've done that. Oh, really? Yeah. Because of this problem. Sure. Burrito glue. Try our new patented formula. Thanks to Everly Well for supporting Quick Question.

Everly Well is digital healthcare designed for you, all at an affordable and transparent price. With over 30 at-home lab tests, you'll be able to choose the test that makes the most sense for you to get the answers you need, like women's health test or food sensitivity test. Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off an at-home lab test at everlywell.com slash QQ. Thanks to Avast for supporting Quick Question. With Avast One, you can confidently take control of your online world by helping you stay safe from viruses, phishing attacks, ransomware, hacking attempts, and other cybercrimes.

Learn more about Avast One at avast.com. Well, Ro, I'm Ro. Jesus, I just called my son's name. Dan, can you tell me a little bit about why you believe yourself to be beach trash now? Because I live on the beach and we're all kind of trash. I think the thing about living on the beach, which I love so much, except for this one small thing, there is sand everywhere in my whole life. We record these episodes two at a time. And in between the one we just recorded and the one we're recording now, I went into the bathroom and just the walk from my table where I record to the bathroom, there's sand in the kitchen, there's sand in the living room, and there's so much sand in the bathroom and the shower. And I clean it. I clean my whole house every day over and over again all the time. But A, you'll never get rid of all the sand

and B, I'm on the sand every day. So I'm just always tracking more sand in all the time. It's driving me a little bit nuts. I don't know how to get rid of all of this sand in my life. It's everywhere. Sand is notoriously difficult to clean up. It's heavy. Even when it's in sand is very is notoriously difficult to clean up yes heavy it's like you even when it's in your tub you got to push it you got it you can't just like run the faucet for a while and expect it all to go down the drain it's like it's stubborn so you got to like just kind of scoop it with your hand um and then when it's in your house i know that feeling where you if you're not wearing socks or you're not wearing shoes it's just all all you're feeling every single little

grain of that stuff all over yeah i really get it around i really get it in the kitchen and like i will sweep my kitchen floor and i will vacuum and i will mop and feel good and then as soon as i walk in there with my socks off i feel sand somewhere always there's i'm never gonna do it completely yes so my children every time they go to a playground and there's a lot of playgrounds And somewhere, always, I'm never going to do it completely. Yes. So my children, every time that they go to a playground, and there's a lot of playgrounds with sand, they come home with tons of sand in their pockets. And they're not doing it on purpose. They're playing down in the sand. They're rolling around in it.

And sand gets into their pockets or their back pockets, especially. Yeah. It just slips in there. And then when they come home, it's just, and in their shoes too. And so over by our front door, they're just like, you'll come home one day and there'll just be a visible pile of sand right there. And you're like, oh, God damn it. And a dust buster, a dirt devil, like that can't, it doesn't work. There's no effect. It's just too heavy for that kind of thing. And so you really have to- It's too heavy and often it's wet, it's wet and you can't, you can't vacuum it up when it's wet. Nothing you can do. You can, your best hope is to take a rag

that's also wet and try and like scoop it into a pile and then kind of pick it up and messily and throw it outside. There's just no good solution for sand. And it's, it's, it's really good for sand, uh, from like a PR perspective that we all go along with calling it sand. And it's really good for sand from like a PR perspective that we all go along with calling it sand. It's dirt. There's just dirt in my tub and my house and my life. There's dirt everywhere. It's no good. I don't know if this is true of where you live, but certainly you've probably felt this in Los Angeles. You went to the beach a lot here. Yes. You were a suns out, guns out kind of guy. A hundred percent. And when you go home, are your feet just absolutely filthy? Like they are here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My feet are disgusting all the time.

Is that car soot? What is that? Why is there like a film of black that sits on top of sand everywhere? I don't know. That's a really good question. I don't actually have the answer to that. Cause I get it worse here when I'm near like Dockweiler Beach or somewhere that I know is close to the freeway, close to like industrial Los Angeles. I know it's worse. We step off that sand and I'm like, my children look like they just fell down a chimney. They're just covered in soot somehow. And it's the grossest thing in the world. It's like, it doesn't look like that.

I don't see it when I'm out at the beach, but then there's just some way. You're not like, you're never like walking around on tar or anything like that. There shouldn't be this strange, dark film on your feet. And yet, right.

And it's not dirt. It's something else. It's something, something manmade and it makes it worse that it's manmade. Um, that's good to know that it's there too. It feels like I'm not missing out on anything. I also feel like I need to do a better job.

I don't, as I've gotten older, I don't enjoy showering very much. I want to get it done as quickly as possible and get as clean as possible as I can and get out of there and save water. But one of the things I'm noticing is like, I'll go for my morning run, uh, on the boardwalk. And then I'll often do like a body weight workout on the beach. Cause that's a nice thing to do. And I ended up covered in, in sweaty sand. And then I shower for longer than I'd like to shower. And I, I gotta say, I don't, I don't exit the shower because I'm all the way clean.

I exit it because it's like, I have stuff to do. I can't. Like some of the sand is just going to stay on me. And that's all there is to it. I don't have enough time to get rid of all the sand. There's a real, it's a real moral low or like a psychic psychic damage that you take when you're like lying in bed and you go to itch your ear and there's some sand in your ear you're just like oh fuck i haven't been in the sand in two days that's horrible

or like in your leg pit you'll just like find some and you're like, well, how did you stay there this long? Um, well, I'm sorry that's happening. Is that, so you're, you're into water restrictions there. Is that common or is that just you?

That's me. Okay. Yeah. Is there anybody else in an area like New Jersey where they're like, we got to be conscious of how much water we're using? Uh, anybody else? Yeah.

Is it, is it's a huge issue out west because there's drought and everything i don't i don't understand in where you are meteorologically speaking are you guys you guys get a good amount of rain don't you um i guess theoretically yes we just haven't had any in a while but i do think to your point i think uh drought and water consciousness for me comes from 11 years living in Los Angeles. I think that's just like embedded in me that it's a global problem. Right. Yeah. I mean, we pee in our toilets like six times before we flush up. It's just, I don't think I'll ever live differently, but I've been to places like

Minnesota and when I'm there, I'm just so aware of how no one gives a shit man because they've got lakes everywhere it's just it rains every afternoon in the winter they get tons of snow and dreary the whole time so there's no such thing as water consciousness in the midwest man we're certainly uh aware of it i don't think we have any like official mandates or anything i I know in LA, everyone was discouraged from having like, uh, natural lawns that you would water and take care of everyone.

It was really big. Yeah. Traditional laws. Yeah. You would get AstroTurf or you would get, um, you would like landscape with rocks or wood chips or whatever. Yeah.

It's zero escaping. You landscape with your native plants and then they look like they're just brown and gray the whole year, but you're like, yeah, but it's native to California. You say, yeah,

that's exactly what we have. By the way, we, we, we got moved in and our house had like a rose bush and stuff out front. And that's all gone though. It's all just this natural. Do you have a fake grass in the back what did i run around on yeah so we've got we've got turf in the back but it's like a really

cool turf it's a turf that i love because it looks very much like grass and if you dig in it there's like it's like brown tendrils down at the bottom just like real grass would have yeah and it looks so good i love it i wouldn't change it for anything it feels like you're walking on carpet outside i know that there are issues with once you get rid of that turf there's a lot of plastics associated with that and those don't biodegrade or anything so it's like kind of a toss-up or a wash occasionally between whether you have water and grass and taking care of it the whole time or whether you're producing this giant sheet of plastic. But I got to say, I love it.

Yeah. It's crazy how hearing you talk about that gets my hackles up when you say like, yeah, I know if we get rid of it, there's all this plastic. And it makes me just want to scream at the straw man here where it's like, well, I'm doing my best. Leave him alone. There's something wrong with everything. Yeah. We can't help but have a footprint. There's billions of people on the earth.

When we're all doing the same thing at once, even when a thousand of us are doing the same thing at once, it's a problem. So we don't have any other options. We are approaching fast the dog days of summer and that means you got to get outside you got to get out and do things and when you're outside and you're doing different activities you naturally start thinking about your body and whether it's holding up or whether it's wearing down well that checking in on your health and wellness is a good thing to do with everly well you can take action today by taking one of their at-home lab tests or by adding their vitamins and supplements into your daily routine

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which really surprised me and then it was really nice to be able to take those to my doctor and figure out the next steps for me and for listeners of the show everly well is offering a special discount of 20 off an at-home lab test at everlywell.com slash qq. That's everlywell.com slash qq for 20% off your next at-home lab test. everlywell.com slash qq. Speaking of that, Dan, I have a question for you. Oh, go. Have you heard of the Tacozilla? No. Okay, great. I want you to look up the tacozilla uh do a google search for tacozilla and go to road and track.com that's one of the options there you'll be able to get tacozilla one word yeah taco here we go and then would you go to 2021 Toyota, Tacozilla, Tacoma camper? Yup.

That's the one. All right, go in there and then you're going to be able to view more photos. And as you're looking at this, I just want to talk to you about it. This is something that like, I can't remember how this showed up to me, how it was fed through my timeline or whatever, but I saw this and was immediately like,

I think I want that. This car is the 1970s. It's the most 1970s. The color, we don't even make these colors anymore. No. So let me describe it. It's got what I would call signature Wes Anderson colors. It's like a, its palette is kind of a beige, a burnt auburn and brown.

And that's just these, these kind of like streaks that run across it. It's generally just a white car. And I'm also want to preface this by saying that I'm not an RV person. I think the RVs are bad. They're bad for the camping experience. I think they're bad for pollution reasons. I think that they're bad for a ton. I don't like the,

even the ethos of that camper culture, but I will say that I saw this thing and I was like, maybe I need this. And I started looking through the pictures of it. It's I'll describe it. It's a Toyota Tacoma, which if you see, it's just like a big Toyota truck.

And then it has a giant camper that sits, part of it extends over the top. And then the rest of it all sits in what would have been the bed of the truck. And now it's been redesigned as a camper. And it's in terms of campers, it is pretty sleek. I mean, it's for a truck, it looks big and clunky, but as for a camper, it's very, very sleek. And you could drive it if you had to,

like if you were really pressed for, you didn't have a single other vehicle, you could drive it to work and you would be fine. You would get into a parking garage or whatever. Sure. Then you look into the pictures inside of it and it's so fucking cool. And it's like, maybe this could be my life. Weird wood flooring. The floor is so strange. Maybe this could be my life. Go ahead. Wood flooring. Yeah.

The floor is so strange. The walls are so, it's this aged wood. Yes. There's a wood floor. Let me try to describe it. So it's got a wood, the whole, first of all, there's two rows of seating. There's the front row. And then there is some seating right behind that where the kids could sit.

And then beyond that, you've got what is a two benches that sit along the length of the truck. And then there's a table in the middle, but the table can be picked up and moved and put on the wall. And it also is a cool looking table. So it looks kind of like artwork. Like if you hung it on a wall, you'd be like, yeah, it's a piece of art. I don't get art, but that's a piece. And then the flooring is wood, but it's wood slatted. So it's designed to be washed out so you

can put you can like just run a hose through it and clean it out that way but it also has tons of cool storage the area that extends over the top of the cab is the bed that's and there's a window at the front there's like a great big bed up there you could sleep people on the floor if you needed to there's a bathroom in it. There's a TV in it. There's a sink. There's two sections sink. And I just started like daydreaming about this thing being like, if we go to Legoland, if we went to Disney world, if we went anywhere, you don't ever have to stay in a hotel again, if you have this thing. Also, it's great for, if you would, if the kids grew up which hopefully

they will do at some point if i wanted to go to a concert uh a multiple day concert like this thing would be absolutely ideal it's so cool and in a way that like i didn't think i would ever be interested in it it represents so much that i don't like and i was looking at being like oh god i kind of like it and i started telling colleen about it just jokingly like joking that we were going to get a taco azilla and then finally i showed her the pictures and she goes i want it this is in your future man i was like i want it too it's uh you you've now i've seen assume at this point i've seen all the pictures of it. Yeah. Yeah. The inside of it is just so cool looking.

And it makes me think this, this thing could be mine. And then I started looking at pricing and I was like, okay, well, how much, surely this thing's got to be expensive. And they're like, well, Tacoma generally is about $30,000. And I was like, that's not out of the range of possibility. That's a new car, but it's possible. And then I was like, that's not out of the range of possibility. That's a new car, but it's possible. And then they're like, I was like,

well, how much is the taco? And they're like, Oh no, it's nobody makes it. What? I was like, what?

There's a show called SEMA, I guess, which is a, a big EMA. Yes. A big automobile show every year. This was in November of 2021 that this thing was presented. It's a prototype. It's just something that somebody, I don't even know if he works for Toyota. Somebody invented this and was like, hey, wouldn't this be cool if it existed? And talks about the artistic lines that he did for it. The door is in the back. It's not on one of the sides, but the door has like these weird cool angles to it. Everything about it is not straight and there's no straight angles on it. There's no straight angles to speak of.

And it's, he was like very artistically minded when he was designing it, which means that this thing very, very likely will never be available for the public. And I, it was like losing a family member when I found that out. It was a heartbreaker this was gonna be mine someday i was dreaming about this weird thing yeah and uh i don't think it will ever actually exist

but a lot of people are thinking that clearly because you can say look you as soon as you type in tacozilla the things that come up are like, Tacozilla available? Tacozilla how much? Tacozilla when will it come out? Why is it called that? That's a great question. I know it's got to be like, they must internally think it's a portmanteau of Tacoma and Godzilla, but they must know that everyone else is going to think tacos. It didn't even occur to me until now that that's what that was. I didn't know why it was called the tacozilla and I didn't.

It was one of those things where like you meet somebody. For me, it was when I was younger. I'd meet somebody who was a beautiful woman and I would be like, hi, what's your name? And she would tell me her name and I'd be like, oh, fuck, that name sucks. And it hurts. Like there's like some demerits to it. As soon as I found out that this was a Tacozilla, I was like, what?

You're not doing yourself any favors. I don't like that name. Yeah, you can't tell anyone that you drive a Tacozilla. Yeah, I had to find a way to cover that up when I get it someday. But yeah, I'm just looking through it now, realizing how much space there is at the top, the drive above the cab i love this thing it's a good looking car it's it's

again very 70s i'm there i'm really curious why they decided to make it look like so retro yeah well i guess you don't really see a ton of these types of cars anymore anyway these camper trucks i don't know that anyone else is anyway these camper trucks i don't know that anyone else is even making camper trucks i can't think of a modern one that i've seen so maybe they're just trying to tap into that nostalgia or this one guy and it also the biggest bitch of it all is that because oh it has a refrigerator too the biggest bitch of it all is that because this is not like a real car it means that what i'm looking at even though it all looks really good aesthetically i bet all this shit sucks i bet there's no functionality to any of it because this guy was doing it just to make

it look cool and there was no one along the way who was like no this doesn't work let's fix this let's fix this and so it really is just a pipe dream. Yeah. A car made by an art student instead of an engineer. Certainly. So frustrating. Sorry, man. Thanks. Hey, I got an unrelated quick question for you. Yeah, go ahead. Do you have, are there any fears that feel like very common fears that a lot of people have that you just don't have. I think we can, for both of us exempt public speaking, which is like the main, the number one fear for most people.

Yeah. Clearly neither of us have, because we do this show and we've both did stand up, but any other fears that exist as like common things that really, uh, like heights, claustrophobia, drowning, whatever things that a lot of people share as a fear that really, like heights, claustrophobia, drowning, whatever, things that a lot of people share as a fear that you never had at all.

Yeah. I can go, for me, going first is heights. It's like a super common fear. I understand it intellectually as a fear, but I just, as far back as I can remember, have never been afraid of heights. I, uh, gone skydiving and bungee jumping and hiking and now climbing. And I even remember, uh, recently in Costa Rica, seeing someone ahead of us. I talked about this story already. This, this, uh, woman we met April who was petrified about doing these, these high up hanging bridges and her like knees were shaking and she didn't want to walk across the bridge. And, uh, I was sympathetic to that,

but I was also thinking just like, just like do it. Just like tell your legs to walk forward, use your brain and tell them to walk forward. Yeah. It's high up, but, but who cares? Like it doesn't, it, it has close to no impact on me whatsoever in a way that makes me think either I have a superpower or everyone else is crazy. I think, yes, I agree with you that heights is not one for me. And I think that it's because you trust your arms more than most people.

You trust your hands and your arms more than other people do. You trust your hands and your arms more than other people do. You trust your ability. Yes. I think you trust your ability to catch yourself more than a normal person where like, if something goes wrong, you, you trust that there's like all these little fail safes built into your own

body that you could like, you could conceivably save yourself. If something went wrong, have you been on a chairlift before? Do you ski snowboard? I have skied before. Yeah. Then you chairlift sometimes go over really really high areas like they can be like up to like 100 100 feet off the ground 200 feet off the ground and yeah any of those places like if you

don't have the bar in front of you the safety bar do you still feel fine on those yeah yeah i do too and i i'm pretty sure it's because i trust if I'm holding onto something, I trust myself way more than like, if I'm just sitting on the chair and not, not holding onto anything, I think it's maybe I have somewhat more anxiety, but even then I feel like I could at any point just grab on. If I started to slip or whatever, I could just grab on with one hand and I would be okay. Yeah. Um, and I think that there are a lot of people who don't have that feeling at all. And for my wife, so my wife is scared of heights. That's like a huge thing for her.

And it's because their body starts to sabotage itself in that fear situation, which is it makes their palms very, very sweaty whenever they're in a height situation, which means that they can trust their hands even less. Where like, if you had with climbing i took her climbing and it was a huge mistake because she was a good sport about it but she can't do anything on the rock because the minute she's up high enough that it becomes a problem her hands just like turn into these fountains and she can't hold on to the rock anymore right your body doesn't want you to do that and so i think that it's you maybe it's not true of

you i don't know i can't speak for you but like for me i think it's a build-up of trust of like my arms and my hands and being like no i'm at any point i can hold myself up with one hand and i would be okay yeah i think i don't you might be right i think i've never thought about it that way it's it's always felt like a mixture of unearned confidence and stupidity where it's like, yeah, I'm very high up, but I'm not going to fall because that's not the plan. My plan is not to fall. But also if I do fall, it's so high up that I'll just die. And that's not my problem. Yeah, I guess that's true. I always hear people talking about in their fear of heights is that part of their fear is that they're going to jump or that they're going to do something crazy.

Right. Which is like, I think it's a completely different thing where I'm like, oh, so what you're afraid of is your brain, not the heights. You're afraid that your brain maybe wants to kill you. Yeah. And it just, i think exposure helps too i because i wrote a lot of chairless when i was young we had an area called the toilet bowl on the mountain buttermilk that we would go to and it was so fucking high and we loved it we were so into it because it was like and when you have that so frequently and you don't have a bar on or anything you're just sitting in a seat that you can just jump off of any at point, or a strong wind could even take you off of. And you're just like, woohoo. After a while, you just realize,

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Small spaces do not bother me at all. That's the fear I super do have. That really freaks me out, but I'm glad that you don't. Claustrophobia is a thing where I don't know why I've never really felt it. I've been stuck in very small spaces. Yeah. Sometimes I've done spelunking before where you're like, you're sliding underneath in caves. You have to get to different rooms and you're kind of sliding underneath rocks and you're like, oh, I'm stuck a little.

And it's not like, it's not panic. You just sit there and go, okay, well, let's see. I like move this way. We shift the hips. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'll figure this out.

And then also when I was a child, we had sleeping bags in our basement and the basement was where we all played. And my brother would put me at the bottom of a sleeping bag and then sit on it. So that even like whatever space you had in a normal sleeping bag, that's all gone. Now it's just me tucked up in the bottom of sleeping bag and my brother

sitting on it and I'm not strong enough to get him off. So I'm really incapable of moving in any direction and just being stuck there. And I think that helped. I am fidgeting in my seat hearing this right now. It really has a physical impact on me. Do you have dreams about being stuck in small spaces? Absolutely. Yeah. And I also, i don't know if this is um if this is a subconscious way of me trying to rid myself of this fear or if this is just like a sick way of seeking it out but i will watch videos of people going through really tight caves and and uh i get really worked up over it there's there's videos will pop up on reddit every once in a while

of someone where where it's like yeah if you just like make yourself put your hands at your side and I get really worked up over it. There's there's videos will pop up on Reddit every once in a while of someone where, where it's like, yeah, if you just like make yourself, put your hands at your side and go drop down completely straight into this fucking hole in the ground, you shoot out the other side of this waterfall.

And it was like, no, I'm never, I can't, I'm never going to do that. It, it, it makes me uncomfortable thinking about it.

Yes. I'll watch this video 10,000 times. I do have a lot of dreams where I'm crawling through a small space. It's just how I get from one room to another or whatever. There's just like, oh, and then you get upstairs by going through this tube and getting stuck in the dream and being like, oh, I've done this before. I'll figure it out. I don't know why I'm getting stuck this time. And every single dream of being like, oh, I've done this before. I'll figure it out. I don't know why I'm getting stuck this time. And every single time it's like, it's uncomfortable,

but it's never, it's never like terrifying. It's never like I'm losing my breath and be like, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. And I don't know why. Maybe snow caves, like building snow caves as a kid. Maybe, man, I should have known that the podcast might take this kind of turn. I'm so uncomfortable right now. I can't. All I'm thinking about is nightmares of being like crushed by a whole bunch of people and I'm trying to scream and I can't scream and no one can hear me. This sucks. I'm so unhappy. I'm so unhappy.

You talk about that woman who can't walk on the bridge and you're like, well, surely you could just tell your brain. I get, I I've been in, I've been at a meeting where I'm just talking about the possibility of a vasectomy and being like, I can't tell my brain to fucking get it together. It's telling my heart to stop.

I don't know what's going on it's that your body starts to sabotage you with a phobia yeah it's i can't i can't communicate to my body don't worry we're just kidding we're just talking on a podcast my body's still like no man you're talking about small spaces this is even this house is too small we gotta go let's get outside let's get outside right now i guess i have a question for you with that is that if you're in a room, if you say you're going to bed at night and you're in a room that's windowless and the door is shut, does that freak you out?

Um, there've been a circumstance for you. No, I've never been in, uh, in prison. Okay. Oh,

you gotta go. You gotta try it. My, no, I don't think I've ever been in a, a sleep in a windowless room. Maybe on a cruise yeah and you're cool with like window being shut though right yeah so you like you have blackout shades the windows are shut the door is shut you're fine with that yeah okay okay i think there are a lot of

people with that same phobia who can't even be in that circumstance there needs to be something open something cracked even yeah or they get a little scared and antsy yeah my mom is has this has this phobia and when she would go on camping trips in her sleeping bag she would feel it because the sleeping bag really does confine you it's not a lot of space inside one of those and the way that she would overcome it was that she would think about it as her skin which is so fucking weird to me but she would think about the sleeping bag as her external layer basically as her skin, which is so fucking weird to me. But she would think about the sleeping bag as her external layer, basically, as part of her body.

And so she could move the external layer, but there's like, nothing was inside of it. It was just guts or whatever. And so she didn't think about her own body as hers, but like the sleeping bag is the whole organism. And it helped. Were you pivoting slightly away from this thing that is making us uncomfortable? Yeah.

So the fear of public speaking is like always at the top of every list of most people's biggest fears. Yeah. Higher than death, it turns out. Yeah. Yeah. Have you never had that fear have you always been good at public speaking or have you always been comfortable at public speaking no i don't i don't think so i think that's exposure but it's also like

i know so michael swaim is a good example yeah mich Michael Swaim is somebody who gets sick the day before he has to go on stage and do something because he's so anxious about it. And once he steps up there, he's fine. Yeah. When we would do panels at like Comic-Con and he would have to interview someone on stage, it would be like a three-day affair. He couldn't eat or talk to anyone or do anything. So he can work himself

up to a place where he can strut out on stage the most comfortable, confident guy on the planet. It's insane to watch. It's like watching a true professional, really. It's somebody who looks like they're incapacitated, where you're like, I don't think you should go up there. And then he steps on stage and he's a different person and he's charismatic and he's great and he's always wonderful. And I always watch it and I'm like, I wonder if that's all necessary. All that legwork that you do at the upfront, if that's what gets you to that point. And I certainly have my own things where I've done, I've had things bomb before. I've been on stage where things are not going great and you're in front of a bunch of people and you become keenly aware of the fact

that everything you do is being monitored by lots of people all at once. And so there's consequence to it all. And then the panic really sets in. And I think I get it. I think I get that fear of public speaking. But I think it's similar in the same way with being up high, where you are at a point in your life where you have enough weapons in your arsenal that you know how to escape any of those situations. As soon as it starts to get bad, you feel comfortable enough that you can be like, well, I'll just talk. And you can do that and you can win over a crowd.

You can charm them. You can do what you need to. I also feel like I was wrong. Yeah, I feel like I was probably helped by doing local theater starting at like 12 years old. You're too young to know how scary a thing is supposed to be or how hard it's supposed to be. You're just doing it because it's, it's, it's a fun hobby for you. And so I never, there was never a chance for fear of public speaking

to like find purchase in me. It was like, no, I already did it. And it's like, and it was fine. And even when it was bad, it was fine. I didn't, no one killed me over it and I's like and it was fine and even when it was bad it was fine i didn't no one killed me over it and i didn't have a heart attack so it's just it was just never baked into me to be afraid of this thing but it's still very fascinating that it always always always tops the list that so many people are afraid of it it's like it's i don't it is. It's like, or where it's born from. I guess it's that you're socially like it could ruin you basically. In some way you might say something so terrible that you're done. Like you're done from society and you can't trust yourself not to do that. I remember the first time we did stand up, we were in Beloit, Wisconsin, and we all planned our standups. We even did stand up for each other. And when I first did stand up for the group, I was like, I really felt it. And I felt like how bad I was at this. And then I got focused on that. And then I got really inside my own head and I was like, oh, oh, this is what everybody's dealing with. This is, there's no way out i'm trapped up here and doing that i will say is like one of the the more misguided things we've ever done uh that we didn't realize was stupid at the time where we were all new to stand up and instead of going to open mics to practice we in a conference

room at our company performed our sets for each other, an audience of three other comedy people. I was like, I'm going to do a 10 minute set for Soren and Michael and Cody. Yeah. And, uh, and perform for three people who are my friends in this poorly lit

conference room. And I'm going to do a set where I'm like pausing for where I hope laughter will go. It's easily, even though you're, we were all supportive of each other, easily the worst room to perform for. Yeah.

Absolutely. We're supportive of each other. There's everyone's looking at you, like just begging. It goes well. Like they're like, so on your side that their their faces are like come on come on and that makes it so much worse i don't i don't know why we thought it was a good idea where it's like i'm gonna do my 10 minutes okay thanks for

watching everybody all right now i'm gonna sit down and now cody you go and now you do your comedy and we will continue to watch you. It was incredible though, given the circumstances and what a bad idea that was. Yeah. How fucking natural Cody is in that environment. Yeah, it's infuriating. He was like, I don't know why he doesn't do standup

because he's born for it. He does not give a shit what the audience thinks at any given moment. And he's like doing a lot of jokes for himself up there. And because he's having fun and because it's clear that like he doesn't care you're just at ease you're immediately ready to

just sit back and laugh because there's no desperation at all and i can't help but sweat that desperation when i'm up there um but yeah i i don't know i think i still have a fear to answer your question i think i do have a fear of public speaking, but if I'm, if I feel prepared enough, then I, it goes away immediately. Yeah. I don't, I certainly don't think I have a fear of public speaking, but there is a adjacent to public speaking thing that I'm very in awe of, which we recently had a, uh, like a couple of presentations at work a year like a

sexual harassment HR presentation that happens annually and we recently had like the IT security awareness presentation where two people who are from an outside security company just come and talk to us for 30 minutes and I am so in awe of people who can give presentations for 30 minutes. It's so fascinating to me. I don't think I could talk about anything for 30 minutes in a way that was like, instructive or useful. I could talk to you, obviously for an hour or two hours, every every week for this for this fucking show. But these people who are just like, I'm going to guide you through this thing and i'm going to talk and i'm not reading from a script but i'm just like

conveying information to you across 30 minutes and i'm uh it's not super effective because i'm not absorbing anything all i'm doing the whole time is you know chin on my hands going like wow she's really still talking huh crazy oh she's answering questions now that's nuts it is really staggering to witness especially since you know your own crutches and you don't see those in those other in those people there's not they're not saying uh or a lot as they're thinking as they go or like shifting subjects or whatever they just flew they just do it they just fly through it and i think about the same thing when I listen to even terrestrial radio. I'm like, man, you're moving fast.

And you are just, you could just jump. You could just jump from one thing to another. And there's no pauses. There's no verbal crutch. There's nothing. I don't get it. Yeah. They start their meeting and they're like, I'll just give you some background about me.

I did this job for X amount of years. And then I transferred to this job. And then. I did this job for X amount of years and then I transferred to this job and then I've been doing this for X amount of years. And they finish with their bio and they have made clear why I should trust them and listen to them by this. And in the meantime, I have to intro

this show every single week and I'm always like, ah, fuck. What am I like? What do I do? Yeah. You're also not And I'm always like, ah, fuck, what am I like? What do I, what is, what do I do? Yeah. You're also not getting any sort of response from the people in that regard. When you're going in to do some training, you're not getting laughs. They're like ensure that, oh, okay.

I know what this crowd is. I know exactly like what they're wanting, what they're liking, which is you would get from comedy. You're just sitting in there, like giving the driest shit in the world. Yeah. And just go forging on. Don't care what the audience thinks, just forging on, just doing it. And the idea that you would talk for that long

and then not be like, do your check-ins, which you would, it's just instinctual where you're like, you're talking for a little while and then you're like, huh? So now you go for a little. So I know where we are emotionally with each other. Yeah. A big difference between me and these people is that they didn't stop at any time to be like,

hey, is anyone mad at me? Is everyone having a good time? I know I've talked a lot about security and IT and everything. I just want to like pause briefly to say, I'm sorry. And then I'll move on. Yeah. What do you guys think you're going to say about me later? Do you think it's going to be good?

Or were there things that you got hung up on that I did? Yeah. Does your wife have to give presentations for her? Yes. In fact, she does. She does. She does a lot of things. So she also does radio interviews and she does sometimes television interviews for the news. Anytime UCLA's research is for their environmental policy is quoted somewhere or she gets interviewed by journalists a lot.

She doesn't sit down beforehand and be like, all right, well, what kind of questions do I think they'll ask? It doesn't matter to her because it's all top of mind. She has it all in the perfect spot in her brain where they ask a question. She's like, ah, that's this box right over here. And she just pulls out what she needs. Man. Yeah. I know.

I don't get it. I've never cared that much about anything. No. No, because I hear obviously for work, we're constantly reading a lot of articles and watching a bunch of documentaries and news clips, depending on what the subject is, or podcasts. And we're working on a story about carbon offsets right now. And so I'll listen to podcasts to learn about this. And they really do get experts on there where it's like, now, Mark, you've been studying this for a long time so like real quick why don't you just tell me uh what carbon offsets are and uh why they sound like a good idea and why they're actually a bad idea and what could we be doing better and what have we done poorly and what is the solution to end climate change

for the future of the planet and he's like like, yes, thank you. Great question. What an opportunity. And he answers it for like 25 minutes perfectly. And I, if there's anything I'm an, I could be brought in to be an expert on, it would be writing comedy, something I've been doing since 2007 professionally. And I still could not talk about it with any kind of real expertise at all. Yeah. I would, I would open and be like, I, you know, it's,

I got, I got really lucky and it's really, there's, it's like who, you know, it's like read some good book. I mean, don't listen to me.

It's whatever it's, it's whatever works for you. Writing is a mystery. That's I never was that more glaring to me that when I did my son's, um, uh, professional, what is it? Bring your dad to work day. me that when I did my son's professional... Bring your dad to work day? Essentially bring your dad to work day. It's the one where you're like, career day, career

day at my son's school, where I went in and they're like, all right, now talk about your job. And I'm like, oh no, it's like a, that's cool. We write, like, all right all right well how did you get into writing oh um well i don't really thought about it i used to do some sometimes in spanish class in high school i like doing little skits like you're like it's so clear to me that i've never thought about a single thing in my life than when i did my son's career day. I was thankful when the kids were like, do you drive a truck? And I could be like, no. And they'd be like, oh. I was like, yeah, no follow-up questions.

Great. That's perfect. I went to a wedding recently and people would ask, so what is like a typical day of your job like? And I panic and I'm just like, well, we used to go into an office and there used to be good snacks now now we're remote and so the snacks are the ones that i buy and i don't buy snacks so i don't have any snacks anymore does that answer your question is that what you hoped this conversation would be let's see i go in there's a there's a ping pong table on my right we don't use it anymore it's more just used as a regular table but it's there

and then on the left there's an old computer is it is this what you want i can tell you the things i see when you found out you were meeting a comedy writer for television is this where you hoped it would go yeah what do you see what do you have to say to aspiring writers on how they could break into the industry oh fuck i can't i am not the guy to go to for that i'm sorry my main thing is like on your first day if there's a group meeting wait until everyone else takes their seats because you don't want to sit in someone else's seat that's the main thing that's my takeaway from work is like oh no i sat in julie's seat that seats because you don't want to sit in someone else's seat. That's the main thing. That's my takeaway from work is like, oh no, I sat in Julie's seat. That's bad. You shouldn't do that. Anyway, that's writing.

Yeah. I'm very impressed by my wife that she, it's so easy for her to just like slip into the, and also she does a really nice job of not just slipping into like the glossary of terms that she would be using at her work. Because everybody has those, obviously. You have the terms that only you would understand if you worked there. And it's hard to step out of that and understand that somebody coming to it objectively would know what you're talking about. So, she's really good at making it accessible to other people, too. Where she'll just be on the phone with somebody.

And she's not using the terminology that I would usually hear from her work she's like explaining stuff and stepping it out being like yeah yeah so just amazed don't have that no never worked on it well do you have any more questions for me are you afraid of insects? Um, what do you mean afraid? Let's, we can unpack that. I think. Is it a phobia? For you?

No, I, um, spiders too. I would include that. I have such a bad history with ant infestations. Cause I had a bad ant problem at two different places where I lived. And,

um, I don't know if it's's it, it really turns into like a pretty uh dark and unsettling compulsion if I have ants where I can't, I have to get constantly look for them where I know they've been in the past and uh I think that's a separate brain fracture from phobia. I think that's just like, I'm so concerned about ants overtaking my life that I'm constantly looking for them. Right. But you won't stay out of a room because there's ants in there because they freak you out. No.

Yeah. I think it's different. And like all other bugs, certainly. I think because ants are so, all other bugs certainly I think I think like cuz answer so they infest they take they they completely take over yeah and there's no stopping them and there's no reasoning with them that that makes them a terrifying foe to me but like I'll see a spider I'll see a big fucking silverfish. We get a lot of them out here and they're, they're alien looking sons of bitches. But I, I never jump.

Even when I've seen like roaches, big roaches in California, I don't jump. I don't freak out. And it's like, oh, look at that thing. Let me, let me get rid of that or kill it or move on with my life. I get a little uneasy about killing roaches only because they're so big and they make such a big noise and everything. Yeah. You step on it. it's like stepping on a uh mouse there's there's you could you could feel bones and stuff it's rough it's really it's a gross experience but uh you're

definitely taking a life you're aware of the life you're taking but i i'm the same way like uh the other day we had my cat was had clearly chased something into between the wall of the dishwasher and the sink uh the cabinets of the sink and there's just a tiny little crack but she's going nuts where she's like looking in there and my wife wouldn't go in the kitchen she was just like i'm not i'm not dealing with it i don't know what it is i need it out of the house whatever it is because i won't be able to sleep if it's there and i was like i've never really had that with insects or spiders that if a spider lands on my arm, I'm going to be like, oh man, that's a big one. And then just swipe it

off of me. But there's no, don't freak out about it. I've seen like, like tweets or comments from people where it's like, oh yeah, if I see a spider and then I knock it off my arm and I don't know where it is that I can't sleep at night. I'm just like, no, it's just, you know, it's somewhere, it's somewhere else. Yeah. Live your life.

Yeah. I get, get out of your brain. So easy. Yeah. Um, yeah. Um,

I'm, I think I'm, uh, as far as animals go, I'm very afraid of sharks. I think, well, that's reasonable.

I think I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm cool with, no, I'm going to take it to an unreasonable place. Cause I'm very afraid of sharks. I think. Well, that's reasonable. I think I'm cool with, no, I'm going to take it to an unreasonable place because I'm generally cool with animals and I defer to them more than anything else. Like, yeah, they're animals and we're invaders in this world and give them their space and let them do their thing.

Snakes seem scary, but like they're just snakes. They're just trying to survive alligators they're just trying to survive sharks oh sharks are bad guys sharks are mean and uh they want to hurt you and they want to kill you and they don't they don't think about anything else but your destruction and uh uh they're smart and they they use their brains for uh evil and that's all. Okay. Which I know is wrong. I know. But I also know what's right. They're terrifying.

Objectively terrifying because you're in a space where you're completely blind to anything below your chest, essentially. Where you're like, when you're in water, when you're out playing in the ocean, you can see everything on the horizon but like it's just cryptic and dark underneath there it's like there's anything could be there and you know that there's this

giant thing sometimes that's there that's twice the size of you has razor sharp teeth rows of them and occasionally they eat people it's not crazy to be... It's weird where I feel like if I was being mauled by a bear, I would be like, I am in her space and this is nature doing what nature does. She is protective of her space and her clan. And if a shark was similarly eating me, I'd be like,

this fucking asshole planned this! Because he's a prick! Because he hates humans because of our legs! I'm sorry, shark. I'm sorry you're jealous because we have seers. What's an animal that you're most scared of? Jellyfish. I really don't like jellyfish.

Really? But they're so pretty. I get very uneasy around jellyfish because I don't like jellyfish very really but they're so pretty oh i get very uneasy around jellyfish because i don't understand them i don't understand why they hurt that's it when i say hurt i mean like i get the sharp end of a shark i know where that is yeah and a jellyfish there's just it's jelly and i don't understand why it hurts me i don't like that i don't know where I'm allowed to touch it. I don't know how I get it away from me if there is one. I don't like that even though they don't move on their own.

Well, I guess they do move on their own. But when you're in the water with them, they just somehow gravitate towards you. It's freaky. Yeah. Not knowing how to get away from them. I recognize that as a fear where you can't communicate if you see one close to you, where it's like, hey man, listen, I'm not as good a swimmer as you. And also you're moving kind of unpredictably and that's on you. It's unclear what part of you is moving you. You're just like

spastically blobbing from one spot to the next. And I'm trying to get out of your space, but you're not making it easy to do that. How do you know that there's nothing for you over here? You've got to know. I don't even see a brain in there, but surely're not making it easy to do that. How do you know that there's nothing for you over here? You've got to know. I don't even see a brain in there, but surely you must recognize that I am a creature that you don't want to be involved with. Look at how much of me there is. Sense how much of me there is. Those

certainly weird me out. And then I really don't like mice. Not in a way where I would... I can't even be in a house with one, but I just hate them. I hate that they're so good at surviving. I hate that they can fit through tiny little holes like an octopus. I hate that when they breed, all of a sudden they're like 56 rats where there were just two before. I don't know. They made me very uneasy. And they carry hantavirus where I grew up.

It's on the square states. They're really dangerous. You had mice growing up? Oh, yeah. We had them in our basement where famously we would play. And it was a big deal if you found rat droppings because in the droppings of mice that when that turns into a dust then it can get into your lungs and you can get hantavirus hantavirus oh boy you've never heard of hantavirus yeah i guess there's no reason you would have there's it's not in california it's

not in the east coast but there's like places like patagonia. Um, then also in the States, it's Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and Utah. Haunted virus is a very big deal where the mice carry it. It's a virus that's in there. Sometimes in their bodies, like if their body's decomposing, but mostly it's in their feces.

And if you breathe it in, you can get this terrible virus that is, it will kill you. It's similar in a lot of ways. It's like a cousin to Ebola virus. Um, it kills similar in a lot of ways it's like a cousin to ebola virus um it kills you in a very uncomfortable and bad way thanks yeah so yeah and that's why i think with sharks i don't think it's crazy that you have a phobia of sharks they've earned it yeah they're dangerous. They are. And sometimes I fear chimpanzees.

They're very strong and can be violent. But I don't think about it that often because I don't put myself in a situation where I'm going to be around one. But like sharks, I'm in the water all the time. But like sharks, I'm in the water all the time. I am putting myself in the shark's house. And especially in New Jersey, Jaws was based on shark attacks that happened in a town neighboring my childhood town. And there are still sharks in our waters today. And I still swim in them like a fucking dummy. I don't think that's crazy.

I think that's fine. And sharks are kind of assholes. They are. Well, the show is Quick Question, but you knew that already. We are recorded, edited, and produced by the irreplaceable Gabe Harder. Our theme song is by the incredible Merex. Their digital album is available at merex.bandcamp.com We also have a Patreon that you can find by googling enough of the

words that I have said already. I don't have anything else to say. Perfect. Then let's go. Bye. Bye. I've got a quick quick question for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get?

When do I be remembered? What's it out there? Where did all that go? Oh forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers I've got a quick quick question for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight

So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When do I be remembered? What's it out there? Where did all that go? Oh, forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here Every time.