Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - The Fall That Kills You | Quick Question Ep. 289

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Daniel was adjacent to a situation at a Pete Davidson show that leads the guys to a conversation about bystander instincts, invisible heroism, and what it means to be posed in your seat. Plus, cremation fraud, why cemeteries are dumb, and why people who rescue you never want to talk about it.Thanks to ASPCA Pet Insurance for sponsoring this episode. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION.  The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.

I've got a quick quick question for you alright I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? What do I be? Do you remember? Words without words word at all You've got your wings on The soaring movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here.

So hello again and welcome to Podcast is Quick Question with Soren and Daniel. I'm Daniel O'Brien joined as always by Soren Bowie, my co-host, my best friend, Wazzup! That's how he sounds and that's what he says all the time. Soren, I know you got lots to say. I got a crazy thing that happened. Let's say, do I think it happened to me? I was there. So in my telling of the story, I'm by far the most important character to me.

Thank you to ASPCA Pet Insurance for supporting Quick Question. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com slash question. This is a paid advertisement insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company of United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Hold on. So when I get you, Dan, like when we do this podcast and I see you, you jump on and it's clear you've been for what I want to

say is a 59 mile run every single time. And like there's like a frenetic energy to it and there's like a some shit just went down kind of feel. Did this just happen on your run? This happened a few days ago. But you're right in that like I am always a few minutes late to this podcast, because I've always just come from something, usually running. And like, the crash that occurs when I finish recording, it's really, it's a big one, because

like my adrenaline is going for so long. And like, we're gonna, just a peek behind the curtain for our listeners, we're gonna do something we've never done before, we're gonna just a peek behind the curtain for our listeners. We're gonna do something we've never done before. We're gonna record an episode of the podcast and then break for 20 minutes and record another one. Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna be like on the other side of that break. It'll just be like post Thanksgiving dinner.

I'll plan to do some heavy lifting on the next one. Please do. All right. Well, I do want to hear your story though? I want to know what happened to maybe you. Yeah. So last Friday, my wife, my brother David, my sister-in-law Marnie, we went to the Prudential Center

in New Jersey to see a comedy show with Pete Davidson, John Mulaney and John Stewart. We're very excited about the show. We did a little bit of pre-gaming, we get to the show, we go through the whole annoying process of putting our phones in our bags, and we get in our seats, and we're watching Pete Davidson's set.

Prudential Center is, they have like, everything that they have, like the devils play there. It's a big like hockey, it's a stadium, you know? It's an arena, rather. We're pretty far in the back. We're happy with our seats. We can see the screens. We can see the comedians. Pete Danson's doing okay down there on the ice. He's doing okay down there on the ice. He's, John Stewart cannot skate. It's not his strong suit. Pete's doing his set and my brother notices, my sister-in-law notices, and my wife notices, basically everyone except me notices that something is happening to the person directly in front of the seat where he his head rolls back and he goes lip he is like sliding out of his chair and David

my brother who's an occupational therapist he's got more medical training than than certainly any of us he is tapping the guy on the shoulder and checking in on him and then he gets out of his seat and is now like pushing on the guy's chest and like looking at his eyes and snapping and trying to find a heartbeat that he doesn't immediately find. And he is just like cradling this guy's head in his hand. And like we're up now and waving like people who are closer to the exit than we are.

We're like, go and get someone, go and get someone on staff to come down here. Because remember all of us have our phones in pouches and we can't take them out to call for any help. And David is just like, creating this guy's at the guy comes to and David's like, you are not doing well. And the guy's like, you are not doing well. And the guy's like, I am not doing well. I don't feel right. And my brother's like, has this, whatever happened,

what did you take tonight? And the guy was like, I took some drama meme for the train ride over here and that's it. And he was like, has this ever happened to you before? I want drama to know. No, this hasn't. This happened once, August of 2023. We couldn't figure out what it was, but something like this happened.

So this guy's pretty lucid. He woke up pretty lucid. But he is still like, I think I'm okay right now. I think I'm just tired. I don't feel right. Like those are the things that he sort of keeps repeating. And someone from the staff comes out and you know, I do feel for this staff person who we can very clearly see what she's doing is calling 911 on her phone and then like looking around like she's not we're sitting there and and and like this is this is sweetie this is a walkie-talkie situation this is like get on the

internal communication system for this building and get like EMT is here now the 911 is not because then what are you gonna do yeah she's on the seat number you give me a call no one you them the seat number. You call 911, you give them the seat number, start there. And then she eventually is like, I'm gonna be, I'll be right back, I promise. We never see her again, which is fine. I'm like, there was very little that she could do.

And I knew that she didn't wanna be there anymore, but she went out and she got like a more official person who came down with like a checklist and talked to the guy. And eventually he was like well enough to stand and he walked out and my brother walked out with him and waited for like the EMTs to get there and saw the EMTs were asking all of the right questions. And my brother got back into his seat and he was a little bit shook up. I mean, the show was obviously continuing because no one who was doing comedy could hear or see

what was going on back here. Oh, that's what I was gonna ask. What was Pete doing during all this? We were so far away that we were not impacting the show for anyone except like in our section. Doesn't feel great. Doesn't feel great that you're so far away from the action that someone could have died and no one would have known.

Two insane things. One of them was this guy who my brother heroically, in my mind, brought back to life and like cradled ahead of and fetched help for. This guy was not alone. He was with three people and I did not know that he was with people until they all left together. Holy shit. Because they were helping him. It was your dad. They were not doing anything. David was holding him and like checking all the things. There was a woman next to him who was not really answering questions. And like the other people really seemed like, they were just like, this is, we're just watching the show. We're just trying to enjoy the show.

We paid a lot of money for these seats, not as much as people in like better seats, but we paid money for them. They were a mile closer. You would not be, um, out of line if you thought the people he was with were embarrassed like, oh, he does this all the fucking time, we're so sick of it. That is the attitude that like they were, they were not with him, quote unquote, until it was time to go. And then they were like, okay, I guess, I guess it's time to go now.

Like I was shocked to see three other people stand up and go with him. Holy mackerel. So they didn't do shit. First of all, nobody better to pass out in front of than him. Holy mackerel. So they didn't do shit. First of all, nobody better to pass out in front of than David. No, absolutely not. That's such a, what a boon that was for that guy that his, he happened to be right there because your brother, I mean, obviously it's, it's borderline his job. Borderline, I'm going to say. But like he,

the fact that he knows I have to protect the head, I have to get help, I have to get somebody to go get the help. Like at and just him directing traffic and dealing with that is boy, that's exactly the guy you want. Right. And like David is seeing this guy out of the corner of his eye,

his head rolled back and immediately my brother springs into action and is like something is wrong here. If I was sitting somewhere and the person in front of me rolled their head back and it landed in my lap, I'd be like, just my fucking luck. I got the guy who fell asleep during Pete Davidson's story about early internet pornography rats. This is not my day. Knee that head forward.

I'm going to gently tap him. Like when you talk about this guy being lucky that he passed out in front of David, it's we got to our seats and there were two people in two of our four seats. And we said, those are our seats. We have tickets for those seats. And this couple, minor characters in this story, but people that I also really felt for when we were getting our seats, they said, yeah, someone's in our seats too. So we just, we just sat in these. So maybe Domino effect, you don't understand what you're doing. And I was like,

look, I totally understand because like, I've been you, I've been the person who's been too timid to tell someone they're in my seat and I found somewhere else to go and then I've been bounced out and it sucks and you wish everyone was like as much of a coward as you but that's just not that's not our vibe tonight you are in our seats you have to leave and maybe that means you tell the people who took your seats maybe that means you find other seats frankly it's not it's not our business anymore. You just have to get out of our chairs. Yeah. And you want my mom to go talk to them with that. Lucky for us and the person in front of us, we took our seats and David saved that guy's

life. And then so David is there and and Marty is like my sister-in-law is like rubbing his shoulder and my wife turns me and she's like, that sister-in-law is rubbing his shoulder. And my wife turns to me and she's like, that's such a bummer. That's a real buzzkill for David. Because we were all feeling good for this comedy show. It's Friday night out. They got a sitter.

We're all feeling good. I was like, man, what a buzzkill. I hope he can rally and enjoy the rest of this show. And we're seeing him, he's taking sips of beer. We're like, okay, he's good. He's going to be fine fine Pete Davidson finishes his set John Mulaney comes out and in in very perfect John Mulaney fashion he opens his set with something almost exactly but not exactly like thank you for coming out to

the Prudential Center isn't this a great? Can't you- isn't this a great stadium where certainly people have died in the past? Can't you just imagine someone in these seats having a seizure or a heart attack and dying and David is just fucking gone? I've talked about my dog Jackson before. It goes without saying. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my stinky wonderful High-energy very dumb dog Jackson. He is my hero. He is very very important to me I love him all the time and We have an agreement that he will never die. But even if you're the best pet parent in the world unpredictable things can happen

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directly into your bank account. To explore coverage visit aspcapetinsurance.com slash question. That's aspcapetinsurance.com slash question. Again that's aspcapetinsurance.com slash question. This is a paid advertisement insurance underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Now eventually rally, but like I'm sure I can, I can hear his inner monologue. It's like, slow your heart rate down. It's fine.

It's over. You thought this guy was going to die in your arms and he didn't. That's good. Deep breaths. Enjoy the show. Here's Mulaney. Here's the guy we really came here to see. And then as if he is directly addressing him. Couldn't you imagine someone having a seizure and dying in these seats? I asked Marnie, I was like, is he okay? She goes, no. I was like, all right, great.

So did you guys stick around for the whole show? We did stick around. David bounced back and rallied. And then we stayed for the entire show and left. And as we're walking out, David is like, this is the most memorable show. I'm never going to forget this for the rest of my life. What a crazy night this was.

The other thing about having David be that person is that I can pretty much guarantee that nobody in that circumstance said thank you. Did they? Other than your family? No, not a single person. No, I don't think that he did even register that. I think he'd be like, I did what I was what I had to do. Why would anyone say thank you? And that would drive me crazy that no one said thank you to my brother.

Like I'd be like, you motherfuckers like right this trio who more than anything seemed like I guess I guess we have to leave now because Our friend or our co-worker or our friend's husband or boyfriend whatever the situation was I guess we have to leave because he had to be selfish and have some kind of insane neurological episode. And we all have to leave now. Like they just seemed more than anything put out by the whole affair. The other thing is that your retelling of that story is going to be far better and more detailed than his retelling ever will be.

If he ever retells it. David is also, I feel like, not the type of person who's gonna be like, you're never gonna believe the thing that happened to me last night on the WubSat thread with his friends. No, he's not gonna be like, here's this crazy story where I'm a hero and I turned out great. And I look awesome in it. If somebody's like, David, I heard something weird happen. He'd be like, oh yeah, there was a guy in front of me that was having some sort of like medical issue and it almost ruined the show.

And that will be the story. Like it won't be about him. He won't be the character. And I'm like, of course, that's the person I want saving me too. I want the person who doesn't think it's a big deal and we'll just forget about the fact that I was vulnerable. We were calling for doctor or nurse and we were just like sending word while David

was tending this guy and a nurse worked her way through the crowd and was like, and I love nurses. And she's like, I'm a nurse. And I was like, right this way. And she goes and she stands over the guy's shoulder and watches David for a while contributes nothing and leaves and goes back to her seat and just like, this guy's got this. And then off she goes. I love the fact that that channel shall be down the line. Like I'd love for somebody to do that.

That's a big game of telephone at the stadium where all of a sudden somebody shows up and it's like, I'm a proctor. I have a purse. Is this right? No, no, we're looking for, um. I've been in that situation though. I've been in a situation where I thought it could be helpful and then I'm standing there and I'm not doing anything and I'm like, this is, I'm actually, I think I might be in the way. I was doing that for like, I stood up in my seat when we were signaling to like someone run and go get someone on staff. Yeah.

And I was still up because like standing is when I'm at my most powerful and useful. Yeah. And I realized at a certain point like I'm, I'm not even holding his beer. I'm just blocking the view of the people behind me. Yeah. And making them miss Pete Davidson's stand up. So I very anti-climatically sat down and then like poised in seat at the ready.

It's like, you've all seen me stand before. So you understand that if someone, if we need someone to do it again, I'm your guy. It's this, I mean, you can achieve sort of the same look by sitting down, but elbows out on the chairs, like hands and hands, hands like on the seat rest, but like elbows out, like wings almost, where you're just like, at any minute,

I could pop up and do something. And you all see that. You all see the urgency in my posture. And some of you can probably sense that I will get carried away and like launch myself forward over the balcony of our section. Is this helpful? Yeah, I understand that.

I was in an airport and I saw a woman fall and then start bleeding from her head. And like she had people with her and they were around her kind of like helping her. And like, because I saw it, I couldn't just be like, well, I'm going to Smashburger. Like I couldn't just turn around and go get my food or anything. I be like, well, I'm going to Smash Burger. Like, I couldn't just turn around and go get my food or anything.

I was like, well, I witnessed this. It would be silly of me to leave. And so I like went over to her and like, I'm trying to see where I fit into this scenario. I'm like, where am I helpful? How am I useful in this? And like, trying to find my slot. Cause that's what you do in an emergency is you're like,

okay, what is the least detrimental thing I can do here? And there wasn't something. And so I was like. OK, I'm going to. I'm going to go, but I guess I shouldn't just walk away. So I was like, is she all right? And they're like, no, that's like, ah, that wasn't the answer I was looking for. I don't want you to be like, yeah, we got this covered. But maybe I should have asked a different question. I don't know what I was looking for. I'll stick around

yeah, you have to at least try to do something because You must know that you're going to Tell this story later here at the airport. You're gonna land somewhere then I'm like, how was the flight you'll say This woman fucking ate it and was bleeding. It's like, oh, is she all right? You your answer can't be. I don't know.

I went to sit down like you also something. Yeah, something bad happens to her. And and that shows up on the news or whatever. There's CCTV footage probably of the situation, the woman falling. And then even though my face is blurred out and that you see somebody stop, look and just turn around and go the other direction. Like, I can't be that I cannot be that guy. Turn around and go the other direction.

You don't even go to your plane. Just like I'm going to go wait this out over there. But yeah, it was that's the worst place to have something like that happen because everybody's on a time crunch in an airport. And you see that situation. There are gonna be people who are like, I just can't deal with this right now. And they're right not to.

Everybody else had it covered. There was like a group around her already. Yeah, but you're right about people not wanting to Deal with it. So like I You get so many stories from movies and TV shows and and secondhand information where someone Screams is there a doctor on this flight? Like that's a very like recurring pop cultural theme someone passes out on a plane They say is there a doctor and then someone in the movie or film is like, I'm a doctor. And they stand up like they've been waiting for this. And

they go over there and they help the person as much as they can. Growing up with a mother who is a nurse who has like taken oaths and done everything and knows that she has certain powers and with those powers, certain responsibility. If there is anyone anywhere who hurts themselves and needs a medical professional, she knows that she needs to get up and do that and she will do it every single time. When she is on a plane in addition to like praying with the plane land safely,

she is always thinking like, Oh, I hope nobody needs a nurse on this fucking flight. I hope nobody needs anything on this train. Like times when someone's been on a train or plane and they've said, is there a doctor or nurse? She will look around like, please somebody help me. Is there someone first, someone first? No, oh, God damn it.

Yeah, nurse here. Was really hoping. Didn't realize I was really open. Didn't realize I was on call. If I did my hands slow enough, someone would beat me to it. Like, and that's, I think true of all medical professionals that like they understand the responsibility and they take it seriously, but they never wanna do it. Of course not.

I don't wanna help someone with their toast either. None of us wanna work off the clock. Well, it's not just that you have, and maybe they're accustomed to this, but a stranger's body, you have to do some very, like you have to do a lot of touching of a stranger's body when they're having an episode of some sort. And that alone is horrifying.

Yeah. You have to rub their chest. You have to rub their chest. You have to touch their face. You might have to put your lips on their lips. And sometimes they're going to be. And now it's your obligation now. You have to do it because you're the only one who's can. And the person might die.

And it's not your fault. I don't feel like your fault, but it's not your fault. It'll feel like your fault. And it's also like you didn't wake up that day choosing to put yourself in a situation where someone might die in your arms. Right. Which is what I do every day. I've engineered my entire life to avoid something like that happening.

What's so funny, my mom was also an EMT nurse and it never even occurred to me that she would be feeling that way. She has stepped in to help people occasionally, but she... On flights, it was always so funny. My mom would be like, her biggest concern on flights was that she would be eaten by sharks. Of course. My dad would be like, Betz. We're barely flying over the ocean at all. And even if we are, there's never been a successful plane crash in the ocean ever and I was like oh okay great thanks that's also very helpful for me your child what do you mean successful like that people survived like the people like okay they actually use you won't live long enough

to get eaten by the shark that's okay that was his point that was like how he was gonna try and make her feel better was your death will be different yeah, stop overreacting your death's gonna be bad, but probably in a different way You see butch Cassidy in the Sundance kid, yeah, that's for listeners BC and the SDK are fleeing from people who want them, authorities or bandits, like the details are fuzzy. They're running away, they're running away. They come to a waterfall and Paul Newman is like, we'll jump into the fall and we'll get down to the bottom and we'll swim away and we'll make our escape. There's no way they're going to follow us. Robert Redford is like, I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to do it. Paul Newman is like, you've got

to do it, it's the only way. We're not going to win this fight, you have to do it. And finally Robert Redford says like, all right, fine, I'll do it. They get to the edge, they're about to jump, and Robert Redford is like, Paul Newman, or whichever one you are. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I can't swim. And Paul Newman goes, you can't swim. You idiot. It's the fall that kills you.

And they jump into the falls. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, yeah. That's really good stuff. It's great. Um, now I feel like in these circumstances where somebody almost dies, even like the person,

like the person who's involved in it, if they end up being OK, they just there's like a real decision to be made on whether you just continue with whatever you were doing, like your night out or you you leave. And it sounds like this guy was like, no, probably it would be a good idea for me to leave.

When I was in Vegas, one other guy from my work, my work went to Vegas, we were out at a really nice dinner and one other guy at the table and I are looking across the room and we see this other guy choking, but we don't know that he's choking. He's just like tapping the table. And then his friend gets up and puts his hands on his shoulder and looks at him.

Like they're kind of like smiling. And then he gets behind him and starts like giving him the Heimlich. And we're like, is this a joke? We turned to each other, is it, is this a joke? Gives him the Heimlich for a while and then stops and goes and like looks at him. And the guy's like got a napkin now and stuff like that the

The one who's choking has a napkin He's doing some other things and it looks like maybe he's okay or maybe it was a joke the whole time and then the guy gets right behind him and starts giving him the Heimlich again and this time the guy throws up a little and We're watching this and then it looks like he's maybe okay. He seems like he's better now this and then it looks like he's maybe okay. He seems like he's better now. They get that cleaned up and then they go right back to sitting at the bar just talking and I was and my friend and I were like, what the fuck was that? We just watched somebody almost die. His friend saved his life.

And now they're just like, anyway, what was I saying? The Celtics? Yeah. They go right back into it and decide that night's not over, the night's fine. I mean, years ago, I was on my way to meet my friends. Britannic at a bar, and my friend Ben Joseph and her friends, Kaitlin and Brian. And I got hit by a car on my way to the bar. And did some real damage to my hand,

but didn't, I don't think, the spoiler, we don't know what I broke because I never went to a doctor, but got hit by a car and like flew in the air after getting hit by a car. And a bunch of strangers, good Samaritans, picked me up and helped me and they like talked to me and they're like, you need us to get you to a hospital. It's like, no, I just, can you help me find my phone? I dropped my phone in. Somehow my phone fell out of my

pocket. Can you help me find that? And they waited till Ben Joseph came and they were like, you need to get your friend to a hospital. He's in shock. He doesn't know what happened, but I saw it. He went flying. He got hit by a car. You are in charge. Get him to the hospital. And they left. And Ben was like, Do you think you're fine? Like, I think I'm fine. So I went to the bar and met up with our friends and continued the rest of our night. Yeah, I think that's my instinct too. I kind of understand. Yeah, I know that's my instinct. I know it's my instinct because of my bachelor party.

I split my face open. You guys were like, do you want to go home? And I was like, what? We still have another night. What are you talking about? Look, I got this hat. You can't even see the scars. We're like, no, you can totally see them. But yeah, let's go.

Yeah. Or when I just fell that one time running on my way to the gym and started bleeding profusely and I was like, maybe Maybe I'll find a place I can stop and clean this up before I work out And had to go to a bank it went to a bank to clean up so that the gym wouldn't see me like this Yeah, I know that instinct. I know they're like, I'm probably fine. It's gonna be okay Yeah, it takes a lot of pain like when I broke my wrist and was like, well, let me just Yeah, it takes a lot of pain like when I broke my wrist and was like well, let me just Go to church and then brunch because that was the plan and then if it's still hurting after that

then I'll go to a hospital and if it wasn't like Blinding pain for the next three minutes. I would have just continued with that plan with my wrist fucking dangling from a thread at brunch. Have you ever watched your mom help somebody? Help a stranger? Not in an emergency situation, no. Not that I can recall. I know that there were days where I would go to the school where she was a school nurse and I would watch her treat sick kids that came in and do that kind of thing.

We've never been somewhere where someone like needed help and she had to rush and do it. She would just like, the same way that you're saying that David probably won't tell this story everywhere he goes for the rest of his life. The stories of my mom rescuing a stranger in some emergency situation, I would only get like bits and pieces of. And in a way of like the reason I was late coming home today is because someone had a heart attack in the parking lot outside of the school and I had to help them. That kind of thing. Where you should be like, okay, you're still driving me to the movies or what? You too busy to do that? That's how I know I'll never be like a real hero.

Is that those people, you're right, like they don't think anything of it. I think everything of it. And if I'm in that moment, I'm like, oh, fuck yeah. Like I can't wait to tell everybody about the shit that I'm doing right now I am saving the fucking day. I mean remember how they started this story as the craziest thing that happened to me My Almost died tells this story. I'm not in it. Oh you were you were poised your points Ready for action and sometimes that's the most heroic thing you were you were poised. You're poised to your seat, ready for action.

And sometimes that's the most heroic thing you can do. Thank you. My dad was on Mountain Rescue. If you don't know what that is, people at home, anywhere you live in a mountain town, there's going to be a lot of people climbing, skiing, doing stuff in the outdoors. And occasionally they go, they bite off more than they can chew

or they run into trouble and they get stuck out there. And if they're lost, like mountain rescue goes and finds them. Now, what this usually means is that mountain rescue goes and brings back bodies. They are not the most of their job is not like actually rescuing people because somebody had a fall or something like that. They don't usually survive that stuff, but occasionally they do. And my dad would go out there and save them. Like that was his job when I was a real job, was a volunteer. But when I was a little kid, he was a really, he's an expert climber, expert skier. So he would go off on these with these other guys that he knew and they would go

rescue people. And so when I got old enough, I was like, why didn't you ever write about this stuff? Because he's also, he was writing for Aspen magazine too. And I was like, why didn't you ever write about this stuff? Because he's also writing for Aspen Magazine too. And I was like, why didn't you ever write about this stuff? And he's like, I don't know. And I was like, do you have like, what are the stories? And he's like, gives me like, again, like little snippets of like stuff that happened. And then at his funeral, like his buddy,

who is a blowhard and was also one of those guys, tells an actual story, like knows how to tell a story and tells a story about my dad. And I'm like, fuck! I wish I would have known that! That's a fucking rad story, he's a real hero. That's amazing. He, this guy fell down to what was essentially a crevasse.

We don't really call him that there because it's not glaciers. But he falls into what is a crevasse, basically. Gets stuck down there, has a broken leg. They, when Scree Patrol finally gets down to him. They're on like a what is just like this perfect shoot for a avalanche. Gets down to him. It's getting dark.

And so they're going to have to bivouac on the side of this mountain in a very sketchy area. And my dad climbs down to the crevasse and holds this guy overnight to keep him warm enough so that he doesn't freeze. While everyone else big wax up top. They finally get him out the next morning and he tells this story. And he's like, and when this guy, Dick, he was like, when my dad came out, he said, Scott said, I'm cold. That's all he said. That rules. I'm cold. That's all he said. And then they went home. And I was like, that's fucking so...

These guys are basically just top gun on the mountain. That's amazing. And he never wanted to talk about this stuff. Never would tell me the stories of it. He'd tell me like, no, mostly what we're doing is not saving people. We're just collecting bodies. And under downplaying every single thing that he would do up there. And then I'd read like these snippets of newspaper articles from the Aspen Journal and stuff where they talk about Ski Patrol, I mean, not Ski Patrol, about Mountain Rescue, and they're like,

they're such fucking hotshot cool ass dudes. And I was like, why did, why weren't you to tell everyone this? Live on free drinks the rest of your life. Tell every single person what you did up there. But yeah, he wasn't he wasn't into writing it down. He wasn't into any of that. And also, I'll say this was a surprise to me when I asked him, do people after you rescue them, are they like attached to you for the rest of your life? Like, do they call you constantly?

They send Christmas cards. Yeah, they must. They must have some sort of emotional connection to you after that. He's like, no, they want nothing to do with you. Man, they are they they don't want anything to do with you when

they're being rescued. They're in a pissy mood for a lot of reasons. But mostly it's ego. It's like you don't want to be rescued. Yeah, it's like what it's that's because that means you failed or you weren't good enough.

Right. And so somebody had to come up there and get you. And sometimes you don't feel like you needed to be gotten. And they and so you get rescued. And then also it's just humiliating. And like you don't want to think about that anymore.

You don't want to think about that moment where you were at your weakest and most vulnerable. And so you're just like, I don't I'm going to shut off everybody from my life who is in that, that exact moment. And it's very easy to do it with a stranger. The only person who didn't do that was they got, there was a plane crash up on, I think on pyramid, pyramid peak. And they got up there. It was a dad, his friend and the guy's daughter.

And everybody was dead except the daughter. And they got up there and they found her and they got her back down. And from that day, she was a young, she was like probably like 10 or something like that. And from that day forward, like she was just connected to them. And she, she ended up building a new hut for them in Aspen and donating a bunch of money. And throughout the rest of her life, she was like an advocate of mountain rescue.

Cause she was too young to have ego. Right. It was somebody who needed help, got help, and was like, you saved my life. This should be rewarded. Yeah. He says, everybody else is pissed off. Everybody else hates you.

Yeah. Speaking of death story, that takes me to the quick question that I wanted to talk about today. Do we have time to get to the actual quick question? Of course. Great. So we're watching this, there's a three-part documentary series on HBO Max. The one to watch called The Mortician, and it's about the lamb family, this guy in the 80s in Pasadena and other parts of Southern California who ran a funeral home and for years was making a lot of money. The main crime that he was doing was you

would go to have your loved one cremated and he was, when he took over he was doing was you would go to have your loved one cremated and he was when he took over he was just cremating so many people and making so much money because he was just like doubling and tripling the amount of cremations that could happen in a day and everyone's like man how's this guy doing it it's simple it's because he would cremate like fucking six to ten bodies at a time and just mix the ashes and he didn't care He was just like there's all these people who are crying and very upset and they're like I have this earn and I thought It was my sister, but I don't know Now I don't know if it was her or if it was a mix of her and someone else or if it was just

her or if it was a mix of her and someone else or if it was just fucking ash from this thing. And I'm so devastated. He did that. He also did other crimes. He would like pull gold teeth out of the bodies that came in there and sell the gold. And he also did at the very least three murders. So you can't, so don't fall in love with this guy because he's like truly- He's harvesting bodies in a functional way. Yeah, he would be like a criminal

no matter what career he fell ass backward into. And he, in the first episode, cause like the guy is the person who did it, like did jail time and is alive and out, and you get cuts of all of these sobbing people who lost family members and were sold a false bill of goods by this guy. And then it gets cut back to him and he's just like. I'm sorry, when you're dead, you're dead.

And if you're mad that you're that this pile of carbon isn't your isn't your dad. I got news for you. It never would have been your dad. It would never have been the person. You should enjoy the person while they're alive and not worry about what's going on in the urn. Where it's like, if you didn't do all those murders, I think I would agree with your water philosophy.

But it got us thinking while we were watching and my wife was like, if I died and I was cremated and someone gave you the wrong ashes, would you be mad? And I had to be very careful about this because I was just like, well, what do you think happens to your body when it's dead? Because if she is upset, if she thinks that those ashes are my body and I want you to have them, if she's upset about that, then I'm upset on her behalf and I'll raise hell. I'll do everything to stop that guy and to find justice. to stop that guy and and and to find justice. If it's my ashes and someone gives you an urn, and it's like, here's, here's, because I have bequeathed my ashes to you, Soren, someone gives you an urn, and it's like, this is Daniel, and it's actually

like a mixture of me and my neighbor and a couple of cats and whomever else was involved in my death. I don't care. I mean, like, I care so little that I don't, I don't want there to be an urn of me scattered my ashes at sea, that's my plan. And it got me- Throw him in the trash, honestly. Even then. Throw him in a dumpster.

If it's like, if you have a whole plan where it's like, we're gonna throw his ashes at sea on His birthday, and then it's raining on my birthday. Fuck it. I don't just dump them who cares like don't make a special trip. Yeah but it made me curious how you would feel about that if What do you think about your ashes? Yeah, would you be super pissed if they were the wrong ashes? I would only... Again, it upsets me if it would upset my wife that I don't have her ashes. And it...

A sense of justice... Like, financial justice overtakes me, where it's like... If someone paid you for their sister's ashes... Totally. Give the sister's ashes, give the sister's ashes. That's not the position you're supposed to be taking though, is like, you've taken my money. It's all about the heart. Right, because my thing is like, I could have filled a bucket with shit.

I paid you for this very specific shit. I could have gone to a campground and gotten my own ashes. But I wanted the ones that you made of the person I liked. I wanted to let you destroy their body completely. I was promised those remains. Yeah, I'm with you. To the point where I know this story is about the mortician is that it was being explained to us in our,

at work by another writer who had watched it. And as he's like telling the story, I could see the horror on people's faces. And I was like, oh, this is one of those times where I shut the fuck up because, uh, he's, he's telling the story. He's like, he was also harvesting organs. And I was like, oh, that's smart. He was like, how? And I was like asking questions I shouldn't have been asking. But if there's somebody who dies, especially these are old people, what are they doing?

Are those good organs? Are those like helpful in any way? And everyone's like looking at me like, why? Why do you want to know? It's truly as I'm watching the series and the first episode is just about him giving the wrong ashes to people I'm really sitting there thinking like Well, I guess they saved the juicy stuff for episode two. This is Crying victims kind of feels like a victimless crime Well, cuz they found out yeah victims kind of feels like a victimless crime. Well, because they found out. Yeah. Had they not known that you were getting a bunch of cat ashes, like, you'd have been fine. You'd

have been fine living the rest of your life not knowing that. I'm with you on that though. I don't, I'm not sentimental about the body. Yeah. As much as I work on my body and like cherish my body after I'm dead, like that is not mine. And if it helps you to have it buried somewhere that you can go visit, then sure, yeah, that's fine. But for the most part, like what is the best possible solution for that? And my wife and I had to confront that

when we were coming up with wills, because we have children. And we were like, and then we were saying, what do you wanna do with your body? And we were like and they were saying you know what do you want to do with your body and we were like oh well I've heard that just burials are really bad because they pump your body full of chemicals and preservatives and like that though coffin and everything aren't great for the ground and then they're like it's really cremation they're like oh no cremation is pretty bad for the

environment it's pretty awful it's pretty pretty bad stuff, they're like, oh no, cremation is pretty bad for the environment, it's pretty awful, it's pretty bad stuff. And we're like, oh, because of the smoke and then the ashes are, okay, what are our options? How do we get rid of this thing? And they're like, well, there's green burial. And like some places will do a green burial where they just basically put you in what is essentially a cardboard box and put you in the ground and don't change anything.

And we were like, okay, let's just do that. And like, right now, do you want to be where? And we were like, oh, fuck. Close to our kids, I guess, so they can go see it. Right, that's kind of, the whole point of the earn thing that I don't want for myself. I understand it in the sense of like, if you want to talk to someone who's, who's gone

and like the earn is your totem for that in the same way that like you care where your body would be dropped in the ground. So your kids and loved ones could have somewhere to visit to talk to you and feel some kind of connection to you. I guess I just think if I'm dying and Shay wants to talk to me when I'm gone, I feel like there are enough places in our shared drama that she can go and find me

Talk to me at the beach talk to me in our backyard talk to me at when you see Stars on a clear night. That's where I am all those places and it just seems so much Cheaper and easier and better for the environment. Well, also it's I feel like cemeteries and this is I'm going to alienate so many fucking people. Cemeteries. Ashes are for really uncreated people.

They're for people who need something. They're like, no, it was the body that I talked to, so I have to go back to the body like they can't conceive of something bigger than that. Like, think of me even they can't conceive of something bigger than that. Or like think of me even as like a time of day, like thinking, uh, and I'll say

the risk of getting too intimate here. I, when my dad died, we were there for it. We watched him die and it was very, and then I was like, I got to go for a walk afterwards and when I went out, it was very windy and from that day forward, the closest I feel to him or like the strongest I feel a connection to him is when it's very windy out. It's like it's the wind and the wind is also really good in a metaphorical way because it it is something that you don't see until it the only time you register the wind is its its impact on objects the same

way as you would with like love and like don't actually see love, but you see its effects. And so I was making connections there and really loving this idea of the wind. And so I still to this day, if it's breezy, I'll be like, oh, hey, dad. And I don't think these people are fucking doing that shit. I think that they're like, I gotta go to a grave, or I gotta go to where I put these ashes,

and go, that's the only place. Otherwise, they are gone to me completely. No, they're not, stop, they're everywhere. Anyway. I don't think that's alienating, I think that's beautiful, Soren. I basically just think that's alienating. I think that's beautiful Soren. I basically just said that I do I do reverence better than anybody else. I think so, yeah. Specifically, because they lack creativity.

Yeah, because they're uncreative. That's the part that I do think might... Hahahaha! I'm just encouraging them to Maybe if you'd read a few more books Use your literary tools that you whatever ones you still have from school and really try to use those when you're truck when you're Dealing with your worst days of your life. There's no wrong way to grieve. There's like interesting ways to do it. And you're choosing not to, and that's you.

I want to say there's no wrong ways to grieve, but oh, it just doesn't feel right in my bones. I think that there are plenty of wrong ways. Yeah. Anyway, I was surprised. He was cremated. And then we had his ashes for a while because my mom had plans to bring him up. This mountain that sits over Carbondale is called Sopras.

And the plan was to bring him up Sopras. But she also was just sort of scattering them other places where they'd had memories. They built the house together, so she also was like just sort of scattering them other places where they had had memories Like they built the house together So she was like putting him around the house and then she had this thing of ashes in the house And I think occasionally she would talk to it And when I got home she was like do you guys want to scatter some ashes in places that were important to you? We were doing that and I was like, oh, I'm surprised at how much this means to me. Oh, yeah

Yeah, I'm surprised that I'm this isn't just like I'm looking in how much this means to me. Oh yeah? Yeah, I'm surprised that this isn't just like, I'm looking in this and only seeing what I would pull out of the bottom of a fireplace. Like I was, there was something else to it only because I had imbued it with that. But I was surprised. I was surprised at like the idea of this scattering of ashes like that felt good and like that I liked it.

But so, there's something to be said for the other side, I guess. That should probably wrap up our episode, right? Yeah. I think it was a pretty good one. Yeah. Thank you everybody for listening. This is a quick question with Sora and Daniel. You knew that. As always, our theme song is by Merex.

You can find their music anywhere you stream, where you can get full albums at merex.bandcamp.com. This podcast is held together at the seams every single day by Gabe Harter, who is our editor, sound engineer, producer, video editor, uploader to social media. Like he does it all, does everything. And you can find Daniel or I on blue sky or if you want to you also there's video of this podcast if you don't If you choose to listen in your car, that's your prerogative

All I'm saying is as you're driving maybe watch it too. Wouldn't that be fun? Watch it on YouTube. No law against it And oh we have patreon there are other versions of this podcast you can listen to, a less buttoned up version where Daniel and I are a little more open with positions that could usually get us cancelled. When you listen to our Patreon it is there shorter episodes in there every other week. Thank you for listening, goodbye. Bye! So what's your favourite? Who did you get? Who would I be? I can't remember But what's your favourite? Word and order Guide and wings on Oh forget it

I saw a movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here