Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - The Fireworks Factory (Revisiting Ladybugs) | Ep. 268

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Soren and Daniel start with some wholesome pet content before venturing into 1992's Ladybugs, a perfect distillation of the elaborate setups 90s movies required to get to their basic premises. Plus: why does Tom Hanks need to be the Steve Jobs of FedEx before he can get stranded on an island? And why does Robin Williams need an entire divorce arc before he can vacuum to Aerosmith?Follow the guys on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social

Rodney, if you coach my daughter's soccer team to championship, then I will give you this promotion. That is the thing that got him in the door to coach the team, which is already such a sweaty premise. I hear your thoughts on them now what's on your mind? I've got a quick quick question for you alright? The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When did I be remembered? Words without words, word and all that Oh forget it Sore and booby, Daniel O'Brien

Two best friends and comedy writers? If there's an answer they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here. So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question, the show with long answers. I am one half of that podcast, senior writer for last week tonight with John Oliver and the author of How to Fight Presidents, Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bowie.

Soren, say hello. Hello, everybody. I am a writer for American Dad. Period. That used to be a much longer list. I know, but it was always like bullshit. It was like, so here's the thing. People who talk about themselves as like a parent or like that's their identity really

grates me. I don't, it rubs me the wrong way and I don't know why. People who are like a mom first or a dad first, I'm like, well, that's you're fucking up then because That's not gonna last that job is like being an NFL player. You got ten good years and then after that It's a very popular Twitter and Instagram bio to be like father to Samuel husband to Brittany and then like they sort of like humblebrags like and I guess professor Harvard whatever Britney and then like they sort of like humblebrags like, and I guess professor at Harvard, whatever.

Yeah, very the lead. Mainly my job is father. And that's true, obviously. It sucks sometimes how true it is, but that shouldn't be your identity, I don't think. Also, yeah, the guys who establish themselves as husband first, that's also a super weird red flag. But yeah, being a dad or this is the one that really gets me father to two great dogs or something like that. I'm like, oh, I would do that. Don't do that. I do this app called Rover when we go out of town for a pet. It's just these people that will, you find somebody who you like on there and they come by your house two times a day

or however many times you want and they'll play with your animal or they'll feed your animal and then they'll go away. Do you not know Rover exists? Then you're looking at it like this. I know Rover exists, but I thought you don't have a pet. And before you had a pet, your pet was a cat, which doesn't require any attention or work.

Or food or water. So I thought in my head, you were just like using Rover app to keep the economy going and just like sending some kid to your house. I just like them. I like what they do. So I support them. They get to come to my house and watch a little Hulu.

Yeah, some poor gas lit kid put some kibble in a bowl looks around for a while. It's a very shy cat you'll never see it but please just keep changing out the food also doesn't eat a lot so just pour out the old food put in the new. No I well speaking of that Dan I do have a little life update. I have a new cat. Hey, all right. My family and I got a new cat. My wife desperately has wanted a cat for a while.

My children have too. And I've been the one curmudgeon being like, no, it's too early. We have to honor the memory. And I didn't know why I was doing it. I was just like insistent that we not get another cat and I didn't know why. And then finally Christmas came around and I caved.

And then as soon as we got back into LA, we went to the Annenberg house, which is like the, not the Annenberg house, the Annenberg Pet Factory, I want to call it a factory. They've got like scouts that go out to different, different, what are they gonna, god damn it, Smyrn. Shelters? Yeah, they've got scouts who go out to different shelters all over LA and they're like, ah, this is the one, I'm gonna make this dog a star.

And like, they bring all of the animals to this Annenberg place that they think stand a really good chance of adoption. Wow. And then you go there and you get to play with them. You get to do what you want. And then you go home with an animal, hopefully. So we got a three-year-old cat.

Nice. Her name is Bethany. Wow. We have three year old cat. Nice. Her name is Bethany. Wow. We have not changed that name. Okay. So we went from Davina to Bethany, which tough name, tough name to say to a cat in a little kitty voice. Yeah. That's a 48 year old woman's name who lives in Tempe.

Everyone's going to assume it's a family name. And like, oh, it's weird that they named their cat after like a great aunt. It's like, no, we didn't name the cat after anything. Oh, so why Bethany? It's just the cat's name. That's what the cat came with. Who are we to change it?

Bethany and she's really now getting comfortable in our house. And it's always hard with cats. I don't know if this is the true of dogs, but cats interview great. Cats are always like upfront because they're nervous and they're a little bit like, they're on their best behavior.

And you don't know all of their weird little quirks and cats have a ton. And so we went and saw this cat and it was, it was like really sweet. It was went and like sat on my kid's laps and stuff like that. And we're like, this cat rules. And it does rule. To be fair, it does rule.

But then you're just like, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop every time for a couple of weeks afterwards. And right now we're getting these glimpses as to like the weird things that this cat does and being like, okay, all right, well, we're gonna tolerate this. Like this cat really loves a clean litter box.

So she will shit in the litter box and has solved this problem herself by just kicking the shit out of the litter box. She just gets something goes in and then this goes, this leaves, this leaves here, cause this is my space. Yeah, she also, our old cat was like a real hunter. Like she, it was clear she was always gonna be an outside cat.

There was just no chance of us turning her into an inside cat. And she was aggressive. She would hunt everything and hunt stuff all over the house, climb the screens and stuff like that. This cat is a runner. This cat, its game is you're gonna try and get me and I'm gonna get away from you.

And so this cat loves to run just as much but he's like from the other end, like loves to be prey. Yeah. And so that's a lot, we hear a lot of that in the middle of the night just as this cat is running from nobody. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you like it. That's always good to have an animal in the house. That's really sweet too. Yeah. Jackson was an opposite interviewer as far as pets go. When I went to the West LA animal shelter to rescue him, he was like very shy and very standoffish and like this kind of asocial behavior that I see with him when he's at the dog park and just like around other people where he just sort of like doesn't register you.

There was still something about him that I connected with and I was giving him treats and everything and I took him home and the second I opened the door and he walked into the apartment, he like, I know this sounds like hooky-booky and like I'm projecting, but he immediately realized what was going on that he is home, this is his forever home. And he like lit up and he looked at me and he was like hopping up and down and running around in circles, like being incredibly cute and just like the sweetest dog who was just like, oh, I made it, I'm in.

I somehow passed the audition, even though I, I don't interview well and I'm in. I somehow passed the audition, even though I don't interview well, and I'm really like off putting at first. And I was like, brother, same. I also interview very poorly, but once I get in, man, I'm so happy and full of love and energy. I'm gonna make you so happy, yeah. Yeah, that's, it was a very different experience. Also, this is the first time we

had a kitten before and now we have a cat, full grown cat, because that's the responsible thing to do is to get a cat that's not going to otherwise get adopted. And I'll say Annenberg, they get a lot of kittens because that's what they know that people are like coming to get a kitten. Yeah. So this cat's got a lot of baked in stuff. Some of it's very good. Some of it, like I'm very curious about its previous life because it is very sweet. Our old cat, when you would play with it, boy, brother, you better be wearing gloves or something because this cat would bite and scratch you.

But this new one is so delicate. Like it knows exactly the right amount of pressure to use. It's not going to use its claws on you when you're kind of like tickling its belly or whatever. But it does like give you these little play bites but nothing nothing serious. What color is it? Okay so it's everything it's mostly white it's got like white stockings basically and when you take those off it's just a normal cat or any no it's it's got white stockings and it's got, it's kind of like calico a little bit. It's got like some spots of orange and white and black,

but then within the black spots, it's stripey. It's got all stripes in the black spots. Yeah. One of those phases where like it's half the face is one thing, half the face, a Phantom of the Opera mask on my cat. It's cool. This does sound, I believe you,

but it does sound like a child answering the question about what their cat looks like and not totally knowing. It's like it's sort of like why it's got it's like every color. This it's got it's got stripes. And if you look at the stripes,

the stripes are spots. Rainbow cat. It's really cool. Yeah, the cat, it looks just like a fucking cat, you know? Yeah. I will say it's got really long legs, surprisingly long legs. It's just short hair. It has big ears and long legs. And so I was like, what kind of cat is this?

So I was like really trying to dig in and do some genealogical research. And I think that this cat has some Savannah cat in it. If you've ever seen a Savannah cat. No, but it's cool. They're big and they've got these big cheetah legs. And I was like, oh, I think our cat has some of this in it. Also, they have these really specific characteristics that my cat shares where they're very, very affectionate.

And when they hunt, their tail like whips like a like a lab that's really happy to see you like their tails just like whapping into shit. And that's what this cat does. Yeah. You could find out what it is if you ever wanted to do one of those 23 and me house will be right back. Well, we're going to pause for a break. Yeah.

Hey, should we get into the show, Soren? Yeah, let's do the show. Wait, no. Yeah, let's take a break. Let's take a break. We teased this at the end of last episode, but I wanted to talk about a movie from my past and also now my present. The 1992 sports question mark comedy. Yeah. Question mark Lady Bugs starring Rodney Dangerfield.

Question mark. Yeah. I mean, first of all, I don't think that this is the type of movie that we make anymore. These are we don this is the type of movie that we make anymore. These are, we don't make this type of movie anymore, where it's like a kid's sports movie. When was the last time you saw one of those, when they remade Bad News Bears? It might have been when they remade Bad News Bears. I'm trying to think.

It's a really good question because there's two kinds of movies in it that we don't really make anymore. There's the kids sports movie and there's also the wrapping an entire movie around the personality of a comedian who is just like there to do his thing. Like the Dangerfield made a couple of these movies that were all premised around, wouldn't it be funny if Rodney Dangerfield was in this context? And Adam Sandler was sort of the heir to that, where he did a series of movies where it was like, wouldn't it be funny if Adam Sandler had a kid? Wouldn't it be funny if he was a golfer? Wouldn't it be funny if he had to go back to school? And it was, you know, the Adam Sandler thing. That's what you wanted. You wanted to see him in different contexts. And we don't, as far as I know, really do that anymore.

We don't develop a movie around the singular talents of one white-hot comedian anymore. Elf, maybe? Elf was maybe the thing? We used to do it a little bit. Maybe, yeah. Will Ferrell would also fit that same bill as far as like we're going to just stick him in different things. But even he was, it was like, like, you know, Ron Burgundy is not Ricky Bobby is not whomever he

played in Stepbrothers. He's still like kind of doing character work versus like Dangerfield, Sandler, maybe Kevin Hart have just been like, we're gonna stick you in different contexts. Yeah, maybe The Rock a little bit. Yeah. He is, he's certainly not, he doesn't have a lot of range. You know what you're getting when you're watching a rock movie.

Yeah, but the other kind of movie, you're right. The kids sports movie, I don't know that we do much of that ton of them they were or maybe they're just more on my radar when I was younger but like we there were so many of them there's Sandlot the big green little Giants Mighty Ducks was a full-ass trilogy yeah the was the one where the kid breaks his arm and then plays for the rookie of the year rookie of the year there was a twins one then I don't remember what that was called, where the kids the manager.

We did a lot of them. Yeah. We, uh, I think you're right. I don't know that we make those anymore. This, why don't we back up a little bit? Okay. And why don't you tell me your relationship with the movie Ladybugs?

Great. Love this. Okay, so, uh, I used to go with my friend, Ed Cotton. Shout out to Ed Cotton, great kid that I've known my whole life. We used to go to a town called Grand Junction for his birthday. Every April, that was the closest mall was an hour and a half away.

So it was like an adventure. And we would go to this mall and then we'd stay at this beautiful place, this palace called the Holiday Inn. And it had an indoor pool. And this was like a trip we looked forward to every single year. And guaranteed when we were in that mall,

we'd be like school shopping for clothes and stuff. But then we'd also go see a movie in the mall. And we went and saw Ladybugs. Loved it. I mean, like this movie was seminal for me. I think because of Jonathan Brandis. And Jonathan Brandis was basically who I was emulating at the time thinking, oh, I see how you could, here's a human being I could trace and function just fine in the world. Yeah.

Uh, Listeners who don't know, Jonathan Brandes was a child actor who, uh, was very talented, was getting a lot of work. And, uh, I think it's pretty fair to say, just like a beautiful kid. Just like long, cool hair, bright blue eyes, and just like a very dynamic, good-looking kid actor

who seemed like his career was going to take completely off. He did. I think my first exposure to him was Sidekicks, which was a buddy karate movie that paired him as a kid with Chuck Norris. And it was so fun. I watched it a million times. And then he did a show called Sea Quest with Roy Scheider for years. And he had like a dolphin sidekick on that show.

And it was like, this kid just, every kid around my age or Soren's age wanted to be him, whether you were an actor or not. Like we both wanted to be him because we wanted to be actors. And was like, this would be a cool life to have. But if you didn't want to be an actor, you were like, I still want to be him because I want to do karate with Chuck Norris and have a dolphin. That's a best friend and like go on cool adventures. He, uh, very tragically

died somewhat young, uh, mixed reports on if it was suicide or if it was auto-erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. They're both incredibly believable, incredibly tragic things. Back to Ladybugs. So yeah, I love the Ladybugs. He's a very compelling person to watch. I mean, it's confusing when you're young and when you're a kid and there's this beautiful man on TV, this beautiful boy on TV and you're like, do I want to be him or do I love him?

What do I want about this? What is this that I'm feeling? And so he also dresses as a girl throughout most of it. So that's also deeply confusing. The simplest premise of the movie and when I talk about it later, I'm going to unpack it a bit. But the simplest premise is Lady Bugs is a youth girls soccer team coached by Rodney Dangerfield.

And Jonathan Brandis, who is a boy, dresses like a girl to play on the team to help the team win. That is like the loosest premise of this movie. He's a stepson. That's a huge factor is that he's Jonathan. All right. Now he's a Rodney Dangerfield stepson and he enlists his help who he's a really good soccer player to help this girl's team win. To what end? I don't remember. I don't remember if like a winning season helps Rodney Dangerfield at all. Or he was just like, I like fucking winning. What? That's what I wanted to ask you, because this is what fascinates me about 90s movies broadly, is just how many steps they would take to get to the fireworks factory, to get to the premise of what

people want to see. And it doesn't matter, because the movie works perfectly on you. What you remember is that Jonathan Brandis is cool, dresses like a girl and plays soccer under the tutelage of coach Rodney Dangerfield. That's what the movie wanted. And to me, like already that's two premises that together are a little bit sweaty. Like, if you're an audience member and you're a fan of Rodney Dangerfield, the movie you want to see is what if Rodney coached girls soccer? Wouldn't that be funny?

He has no business doing that. This is bad news. Bears, it's fish out of water. It's Mighty Ducks. It's like, we've done this movie and it works. That's a fine premise. Another completely separate premise is what if a boy dressed as a girl so he could dominate a sport that he, for plot reasons, can't play on the boys team.

That's also a fine premise. That's one that we've done a bunch of times. Shakespeare did it. Right. But they did both in this movie. And the length that they go to get to these two things, even though as an audience member, all I want to do is watch Boy Dresses Girl Play Soccer or all I want to do is watch Rodney Dangerfield fumble around coaching. It takes so much time to get to those,

to arrive at those two things that Rodney Dangerfield, to create the stakes of this movie, he works, he's I believe a salesman of some kind. I watched this movie like 10 days ago and I'm still, he's like a salesman who goes to his boss, the owner of the company. And he's like, I've been here for a long time and I do good work and I would like a promotion. And the additional stakes, even though like wanting a promotion, that's fine enough stakes. Those are clear stakes. The additional stakes are if I get this promotion, I will make more money and then I can propose to my long-term girlfriend. So I need, I need

this job. And even though like, that's not how life is supposed to go. If you're, if you're in love with your girlfriend and you want to get married to them, then if it's completely dependent on you getting a promotion, that's a bad relationship. That's bad news. Get out of there. His boss is at first reluctant to give him this promotion. And then we learned that the boss's daughter plays on a soccer team that has been utterly dominant for years But they just lost their coach. And so the boss says Rodney because Rodney

Lies about Understanding soccer because he sees a bunch of soccer trophies and it was like, oh, yeah, I know everything about soccer I used to play and I'm great and the boss sees an opportunity It's like Rodney, if you coach my daughter's soccer team to championship, then I will give you this promotion. So now that is the thing that got him in the door to coach the team, which is already such a sweaty premise. And he goes there and like the reason the coach wants it is because the team has been so dominant for years and he's like, he likes winning. Well that's the thing.

Rodney gets there and he's like, all right, I'm here to coach these girls who are already so good at soccer. And then we learn in the first practice that all of the best players have graduated and now all the players that are there are bad with the exception of like one who was on the old team. And so now Rodney has to coach a bad team to greatness and he has no coaching experience. Meanwhile, Jonathan Brandis is his stepson who is like having trouble in school and got kicked off his own soccer team.

And Rodney realizes the only way I can win is if I get this boy to dress as a girl and play on the team. And he convinces Jonathan Brand is to do it because there's a girl on the team that Jonathan Brand is a crush on. Is it the girl who's really good at soccer? No, she's really bad, but it is the boss's daughter.

Oh, okay. Which takes us to another strange thing about the premise of this movie. So the boss's daughter is on the soccer team and that's why he wants it to win. She is not good at soccer. And so another thing that frequently comes up is the boss who goes to every practice in every game telling Rodney to bench his daughter because she's bad. I don't remember that. The daughter that Jonathan Brandis is trying to get close to as a girl, which spoiler alert, he doesn't really.

I mean, that's an odd missing. There are so many missing pieces in this movie. And like the movie where a character dresses as the opposite sex to get closer to the object of their affection, there are like some very familiar tropes that go into it, where you get closer to the object of your affection, and it's

confusing for the object of your affection. And they are not sure why they are having some kind of feeling for you. That's not really in this movie. They don't have the scene that you would expect where it's his crush, Vanessa Shaw and Jonathan Brand as girl, a scene where they're talking and bonding and Vanessa Shaw is like, I feel like I could tell you anything, more things than I could ever talk to a boy about.

I don't understand. They have like one hangout session, but nothing really comes of it. They don't do any of the things that you expect them to do in a gender swap movie. And also, the other odd thing about it is he's like very clearly a good soccer player. But the thing that he brings to the team is he makes all of them better at soccer. He just, he gets in trouble when he tries to dominate

and just like play hero ball. And instead like teaches everyone, essentially like becomes their coach to teach all the girls how to play soccer. And the other strange missing piece in all this is Rodney Dangerfield doesn't do the Ted Lasso thing. He doesn't do the, I have no experience with soccer, but it is my inexperience that is unlocking the key

to make this team dominant. He's just inessential. He's sweet. That's what he's got going for him, is like there are girls who don't believe in themselves. And he tells them, you gotta believe in yourself. You deserve respect.

And that's sort of what he brings to the table. It becomes his one thing that he is good at, which is being sweet to the dumb loser girls, takes a very creepy turn because there's a girl who has like a ponytail and glasses and she's like very down on herself and he has a whole thing where he's like, oh, come on, you're beautiful. Take off your glasses, let your hair down. Look at you, oh, you're such a stunner.

Oh boy, if I was your age, and you would have asked me out to the prom, I would have said yes, but knowing my luck, you never would have liked me. And she gives him like a kiss on the cheek. It's like very creepy and doesn't age super well. But that is, like if you're trying to measure what is his impact as a coach on this team?

It just seems to be telling a 12 year old girl that he would have had the hots for her when he was young. And that's sort of it. The movie ends when the ladybugs decide to play without Jonathan Brandis and still win because like he has been soft coaching them this whole time. And his mom finds out that he's coaching and she's mad at him and she's mad at Rodney Dangerfield. And it doesn't matter because the game was on the line and he shows up at the last second to like reveal, hey, it's me. I've been a

boy and none of them are too freaked out by that. They're just like, OK, we still would like you to play soccer. Hey, me too. No, no, no, no, no, no. Me too. Me too. You don't need me to play soccer. You can play soccer by yourself and win the game.

They play soccer. The boss is like, Rodney, don't put my horrible daughter in the game because winning is more important than anything to me. And Rodney's like, I'm putting your daughter in the game because winning is more important than anything to me. And Rodney's like, I'm putting your daughter in the game because she's your daughter and you should love to watch your daughter play. They win the game. The boss learns nothing. He gets his victory and his daughter was magically good.

So he learned no lesson. Rodney gets the promotion, marries Jonathan Brandis' mother, becomes part of that family. Jonathan Brandis gets Vanessa Shaw, the object of his affection, who at no point felt betrayed. There's no blow up scene from her or any of the other ladybugs about, hey, you lied to us. We trusted you. Never happens. We never get any of that. No one gives a shit because everyone wins the game. And the button of the movie is Rodney is this company children's softball coach.

And the softball team is exclusively teenage boys in wigs. They're all boys dressed as girls. So he hasn't learned a lesson either. He hasn't learned a lesson either. That's a pretty good button. Well, the actual button is the boss is like, Rodney, you got it all.

You got your married, your beautiful wife. You got a family. You're great at work. And you're coaching this team of boys just as girls. It really worked out for you. And Rodney turns to camera and goes, hey, I finally got some respect.

Freeze frame, end of movie. Holy shit. Okay. There are some details that are very clear in my mind about this movie and some that are a little hazy. That like, hearing you say them, I'm like, that fucking happened? The moment when he decides to put Jonathan Brandis in a wig and stuff, isn't there like, it's like a, it's really drawn out, right? Like you see him- Like a shopping montage, yeah.

When he first decides, is it like, how does he make the decision? Like, what is the inciting incident where he's like, oh, he kind of looks like a girl. I think I could pull this off. Or is it that he's like, he's so good at soccer. Let's see if I can pull this. Okay, all right. For some reason I remembered him like having a wig

in his trunk and being like, try this on. He's so good at soccer. And the very funny thing that I don't know if the movie is being funny on purpose is that Jonathan Brandis has pretty long hair. It's like mid-face length hair. And then they put a wig on that's maybe three inches longer than that.

And sometimes he wears a dress. But obviously, when he's playing soccer, he is wearing a soccer uniform of shirt and shorts like every other girl on the field. And when he is in girl mode, he is still like, pass me the ball over here. There's no, there's no funny girl voice, no voice modulation at all. Absolutely not. Okay.

And he also, he plays like a, this is a strange thing to say, but like, he's got like, his shoulders are like broad and forward and he's like, he looks like a boy on the field. Yeah, 100%. Okay. I'm remembering this all a lot better now. The part of this movie that actually sticks most vividly in my brain is when he is a waste of space and he's like done all this wrong stuff and he's just sitting inside watching MTV and on MTV there is, I assume it's a music video, it's just these girls' asses shaking. And I didn't get to watch MTV when I was a kid, lived out in the woods, didn't have a satellite dish or cable or anything like that, not for a while.

And I was like, is this what MTV is? And spent the rest of the movie thinking, God, I gotta figure out how to watch MTV. How do I watch MTV? Yeah, he's failing out of school. He got kicked off a soccer team and he goes home and watches butts and is mean to Rodney Dangerfield,

the guy who's gonna be his dad. the guy who's gonna be his dad. And like he doesn't have a good relationship with Rodney at first because we learn he didn't believe that Rodney really loved his mom. But then when he sees the lengths to which Rodney will go to propose to and win over the mom, that's when he realized like, okay, you really do love my mom. And that's, again, the same way that Rodney is like super nice to his team are supposed to be like why you like him, the redeeming qualities. But another strange recurring thing is that Rodney is horny for every woman in the world. He's like constantly checking out his boss's trophy wife. It's like, wait, you, when you bake these vehicles for somebody who is already a star, like you're talking about with Adam Sandler and stuff, there's a baked in also like personality of

that person. And if it's antithetical to who the character has to be, it's so funny to watch them be like, ah, fuck him, whatever. Like Rodney Dangerfield is supposed to be a guy who's just like a horn dog, who's like into every lady and just getting shut down left and right. And they're like, well, but he's also like really dedicated to this woman. It's like, we're just going to make him both. Can we do both? Please do it Chevy Chase too. Like the Christmas vacation and the national lampoon movies. He's supposed to be a family man. I mean, he wants Christmas like a family Christmas so bad and

he loves his wife. Same with like the the family vacation. Like, yeah, dedicated to this family. But also might just fuck this lady in a pool. Every single movie has an extended sequence where he's very horny for some random woman while his fucking smoke show wife, Beverly D'Angelo. Just sitting alone in bed. He's sleeping, she's sleeping with a mask on while he's like trying to decide if she's gonna

get up with this woman and have sex with her. Or like when she's asleep in the car. I mean, he's driving next to this woman in a convertible and he's like, her? She's nothing. I'd fuck you. I'll fuck you. Do you want me to fuck you? Right, telling the woman at the department store on Christmas that his wife is dead. Yes, right. Right.

Okay, so that was another thing that I had a question about was what incentivizes Jonathan Brandis to actually help Rodney Dangerfield, who he hates? He quintessentially hates. Is it just that he's like, hey, you seem like a good guy now, I kind of get it, so I'm going to help you do this? Or is it like some, is it like, I'll pay you or I'll do something for you? He wants to get close to Vanessa Shaw. That's his entire thing. As he finds out this girl is on, you know, because at first Rodney doesn't just say, you got to come play for the team.

He says, could you please come to this practice, watch these girls, tell me what they need? And so he does come to the practice. And his immediate diagnosis is like, the thing, these girls need everything. They're bad. They're really bad. But he also sees a girl he has a crush on is there.

And he's like, I think what they I think I should probably come to more practices. I think it would be good for the team if I came and like watch more practices. And that slowly morphs into he needs to be a girl on the team and bring them to victory. I think that's one of the things that as I was watching it was trying to figure out, um, if the central conceit of, if you win this, this season of soccer,

you will get the promotion at work. If that was a viable premise to anyone at the time, like I'll go back to happy Gilmore, the Adam Sandler, because those are movies that I remember them coming out and me being a kid when they came out and fully buying the premise. The premise of Happy Gilmore is he can't play hockey anymore, but he is discovering late in life that he's, uh, preternaturally great at driving in golf using his hockey skills. Yeah, he only has one hockey skill, which is hitting really hard.

He's got that, that great shot that makes him very gifted at golf. But the reason he is golfing in the first place is because the bank is going to take away his grandmother's house. So he needs to win a certain amount of money and he sees that there is money in golf. He has no other skills except the money that he could win from tournaments playing golf. And as a 12-year-old when I'm watching this movie, I'm like, yes, the bank will take away the grandma's house. He needs money. This is the only way to get money. I am sold on this premise. I wonder if 1992 audiences would watch the Ladybugs movie,

and would they ever buy into the premise that like, yeah, he needs promotion at work, and you need to please the boss, and the boss says you will get a promotion if you coach my daughter's team to victory. Was there anyone at home watching that thinking, yes, this is a premise, or is everyone, were audiences more savvy

than I give them credit for? And the audiences were like, you know, who cares? Whatever it takes to get Rodney coaching a girl's soccer team, that's the movie I paid for, that's what I want. So I don't give a shit about any of this other stuff. I think it's more of the latter, because that's also what sitcoms were all the time back then was like this preposterous situation.

You don't care about what the situation is, just get to the fucking farce. Like what is the farce that we're gonna be like, where now you can't let the boss out of the kitchen type of situation. And you wanna just get there and you don't care how you get there. And so you're willing to just live with everything else.

I think that was the case then. Although for a kid, obviously it was different. I didn't understand. Like, Money Ducks is a great example. Money Ducks is a guy who used to play. He missed a shot when he was a kid and can't let it go. And now he's at the end of a career and has gotten in trouble for drunk driving. Yeah, he's a lawyer.

Oh, he's a lawyer. That's right. He got busted for drunk driving and is sentenced to coaching a peewee hockey team. Which would never happen. And so he's begrudging and you get to watch a begrudging coach coach a bunch of shitty kids and then they come together and they become better as one. The lack of responsibility you showed as a drunk driver means that you need to spend some time unsupervised around children. – Right. Yeah, so I think we were just like,

we're willing to let all of it go because we're like, just get to the meat. Let's just have fun. – It just makes me wonder how, where the sweatiness comes from for any of these movies where you know what you want is the fireworks factory. You want Emilio Estevez coaching hockey. You want Robin Williams in a dress as the maid with a funny Scottish accent. The length that these movies go to, who is it for? Because I bought a ticket for Mrs. Doubtfire because I saw the poster and I saw the trailer where he is vacuuming to Aerosmith while dressed as an old lady. But that movie spends so much time,

where it's like, all right, first, he's got to get divorced from his wife and taken away from his children. And then we need to see how tough the job market is out there for him and how he can't provide the life that he wants for the kids because there are just no jobs out there. So he also needs to get fired from his job as a voice actor. And then we need to get Sally Field to a place where she needs a housekeeper because she is too busy at her job at architecture firm.

And then, and only then do we get, do we have enough ingredients that the only logical inevitable conclusion is Robin Williams has to dress up as a woman to babysit the kids. And it's effective. Like the movie does all those things to get us to this inevitable conclusion. It takes fucking 25 minutes. And I'm already on board because I bought the ticket. That you already know the premise. Yeah, that they're also like,

oh, he's gonna have to do voices. Why would somebody just be good at voices? What if he is a voice actor as well? Like, they're like all these little tacky, like, I'm sure that these were notes. Like, these are like all studio notes that lead to these moments where they're like, you have a very streamlined premise.

And then they're like, this just feels like a little bit of a logic leap. And you're like, all right, well, then like, let's put some filler in there. Is that better? Is that like, we put some connective tissue in. Well, now this other thing doesn't make sense. All right, well, connective tissue for the connective tissue.

Here you go. Okay. Let's say, let's say Robin Williams, let's say Danny has a brother who works in makeup and costumes because that's the only thing because otherwise you because the other audience is going to be like, how did he learn how to dress like a woman. I got Harvey Fierstein is there. That is the last puzzle piece. I'd forgotten that like he has a brother helping him. Yeah, it's a we so I watched Castaway recently just again because I was like, I think I love this movie and I'd like to see it again. Yeah, there's a there's a whole lot at the beginning that you just don't need. And we were like, we're really willing to take our time with stuff. I don't know why, but that movie starts in Russia and it's him like teaching Russians

how to do FedEx. It's not even like, I don't know, not even like explaining like why FedEx is a good company or anything like that. Just like, here's how you package stuff and here's how you get it out quickly and how you get it everywhere in the world really fast. And we spend 20 minutes in Russia where he's like doing a job that you're not even really sure what it is. It's like motivational speaker to FedEx people or something like that. It's very strange. And then he's on a plane for a good portion of the beginning of the movie, just like hanging out on a plane and talking to his buddy about his wife that's got cancer. And you're like,

is this plane gonna crash? I was shocked when they got off the plane. I was like, wait a second. Do I not remember what this movie is? Oh, he gets on another plane and crashes in that one. Yeah, he goes home. He's home for like a day where he's talking to his wife and they're going to a dinner and then he's talking about proposal and then he gets on another plane. It's very, it's like this whole beginning in Russia where you're like, we don't fucking need this. Why is this in the movie? Who did they think they were serving with this? I wonder if that's Robert Zemeckis who wants

Tom Hanks with a long beard and a loincloth on an island and realizes pretty quickly in the screenwriting process, like there's only about 15 minutes of stuff you could do on an island. Right. Like you've, when you really look at what your castaway movie is gonna be,

it's like, well, you need a bunch of scenes where, cause he doesn't, you don't want him to die on an island. You need a bunch of scenes where he's on the island figuring out how to live. The first time he figured out how to get food. The first time he figures out how to get fire. The first time he figures out how to do self-imposed dentistry with an ice skate.

And then you do all those first and it's like, well, then you don't really wanna see much. You don't wanna see him like living on an island for years. You do wanna see him having lived on an island for years. So you jump cut to him, long hair, long beard. But even then you don't want to spend too much time there because really you just want bookends. You want him learning how to do stuff and him getting off the island, all of which is

great. All of those are great scenes. It's probably about 25 minutes of content total. So who was this guy before he was on the island? He was the Steve Jobs of FedEx. Yeah. And who also they really, and this seems like out of place for Zemeckis, but he's like really trying to establish that Tom Hanks is kind of like a blowhard a little bit, which

I don't know if you remember from the movie because it's not there. They really don't put that in that he, I guess maybe to have him learn some sort of, have some sort of emotional arc on this, on the island where he learns how to be a better person. But he's already great because he like, he's so in love with Helen Hunt. He's like a really good husband or fiance almost. And like when he's at the dinner, he's talking to her family. He's also like a really great guy. The only times you ever see him kind of be a blowhard is at work. And it's like, what was that for? Who was serving? That's the other thing that I remember bookending that movie is that he loved

being a FedEx employee. He was so committed to FedEx. And when he's on the island, a FedEx package is there with him and he doesn't open it, but it's very important for him to deliver it to its destination at the end of the movie because he's a good FedEx employee. And I feel like the heavy implication is that he's going to fall in love with whomever he delivers this package to. Oh, really? Do you not get that read? No. And in fact, the second time I watched it, I had completely forgotten that that happened.

I didn't remember him going to like a four-way crossroads at the end of the movie and being like, all right, well, what next? And that was how I remembered the movie ending. I had completely forgotten that there was like this whole wings with halos around them running throughout the entire movie and that he was going to visit that woman. But so it got me. You saw it coming better than I did. Well, I feel like you could tell by my voice that I'm about done. Yeah, let's be done here. Why don't I take over? Yeah. Thank you everyone for listening to this long podcast about Castaway. Just what we promised everyone. That's a joke, Dan.

I'm laughing, but it hurts to speak. Oh, okay, all right. All right, well, I think you've been listening to Quick Question with Sorin and Daniel. You can find our podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts. You can also find a special content on Patreon, or if you subscribe through Apple Podcasts, you can also get that special content. We do another version of the show that's abbreviated a little more on Talked.

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Bye. I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? Who did I meet in your number? Words without words, word without words Who do we know? Oh forget it

I saw a movie Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here